


E i cuccioli ne fanno cinque

by ncruuk



Series: Station 19 Stories [3]
Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Feels, Fluff, Happy Ending, Very selective recognition of season 4, Whump, no really I promise it's fluff, the inevitable maya gets injured fic, the puppies are in this fic but not at the beginning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 241,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28800669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncruuk/pseuds/ncruuk
Summary: Immediate follow on from the Epilogue Extra Bits scenes of Perso Piccoli Cuccioli di Fuoco.With only a couple of days left in what had already been a difficult year, the last thing anyone needed was another difficult situation involving someone being shot who shouldn't have been...especially when that someone was Seattle's youngest ever Fire Captain.Still, it was, as Jack would eventually point out, one way of getting Maya to go slow enough for little puppy legs to keep up...[There is no relationship angst - Maya/Carina are angst free but the *feels* associated with backstory of canon characters generate *feels* that if the writing's worked, might feel a bit angsty.  Also contains reference to past drug use and injuries (milder than show but still to note) - individual chapters have notes were relevant].
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Series: Station 19 Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100498
Comments: 389
Kudos: 468





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, me again....now, please, before anyone asks, yes, I know what the puppies are called and you will too, eventually. But not just yet, because first...in case you hadn't had had enough fluffy cliche moments with puppies and surprise babies at Christmas, there's now some more boxes to tick on your fluffy cliche bingo cards ...but to list them here would spoil the surprises. Suffice to say, in case you hadn't worked it out by now, I do *feels* and *drama* without doing stopping everyone ending up in their happily ever after place :-)
> 
> There is reference in the early part of the story to a fictitious 'friendly fire' type 'incident' of a police shooting - please note that I live in a country where police carry firearms as the exception not the rule (UK - we have firearm carrying officers at major security locations like Houses of Parliament, airports etc but these are the minority of officers) so I am already not knowing what I'm talking about the moment I write a story in a land where police are routinely armed, b) this is a story about firefighters and puppies - the police related shooting is a very minor plot point used to engineer certain story protagonists into the same place and also make a canon-consistent dig at a slimeball of a character (Chief Dixon).
> 
> Please approach what follows using a 'plausible plot' mindset rather than a forensic mind looking for deep insights into fire/police/medical stuff.
> 
> Oh, and I'm still not a Grey's Anatomy fan, just borrowing their characters occasionally because, well, that's what Station 19 does ;-)
> 
> Happy New Year to those reading in 'real time'....hope you enjoy.....

It’s a right of passage, getting your first 911 page to the Pit.

It’s a terrifying and proud moment - terrifying because you’re now deemed capable enough to be useful in an emergency...and proud, for exactly the same reason.

It had been many, many 911 pages since Miranda Bailey had been terrified, or proud. She’d lost count of how many times she was needed, how many times she’d waded into the fight and won. Reacting to your pager was, by the time you reached Attending, nevermind Chief, automatic. You didn’t even stop talking, you just reached for the irritatingly noisy little box and looked at the screen, only feeling your heart rate shift after you read the message.

Unless…

Unless you were sitting in the Chief’s meeting and everyone’s pager went off simultaneously.

“What the…” Miranda reached for her pager, vaguely aware that Teddy had stopped mid sentence when she realised she wasn’t the only one being paged.

_ “Not a good time Robert…”  _ She was vaguely aware of Amelia Shepherd answering her cell phone in order to dismiss someone, making her frown. Why had she even answered her cell? Their nanny wasn’t called Robert...the only Robert she knew was…

“Who is it?” asked Miranda, her heart rate definitely shifted now as she stood, noticing Jackson and Owen were stood by the windows, peering out into the night as if by some miracle they’d see the ambulance bringing their patient or patients.

“Not Ben…” was all Amelia said, frantically scribbling down what he was telling her.

“Oh.” Heart rate shifted gear again, Miranda’s vision opened up again, enabling her to take in the whole room, see that everyone was paralysed, not yet sprinting for the Pit, somehow sensing their was more to come, another shoe to drop, another sucker punch to come.

“Right. How long?” asked Amelia, standing up and walking to the window - her movement pulling Miranda, Teddy and the others with her, clearly standing and watching wasn’t such a dumb idea after all. “I see you.” She hung up, pointing to a speck of red and white light.

“Well?”

“They’re bringing in Bishop…” 

“Alright everyone, listen up.” They may all be Chiefs, but she was  _ the  _ Chief. “It’s Captain Bishop. Teddy, you’re in charge.” Miranda looked around at them all. “Why are you still here?”

“What about you?” asked Teddy, surprised Miranda wasn’t taking charge of running the case.

“Making damn sure I get to DeLuca first.”

* * *

“Talk to me Herrera,” said Teddy, standing back as the Lieutenant and Warren brought the gurney out of the Aid Car, her eyes starting to scan the patient - she couldn’t think it was Maya just yet.

“Multiple gunshot wounds, mostly lower abdomen...ugh, pressure holding, breathing on her own despite a broken rib and…” Andy ran out of words, her body moving along with Maya through the hospital, caught up with the team that was pushing the gurney.

“Head? Andy! Did she hit her head?”

“Uh, we don’t know...her helmet came off, from the bullets, but…”

“She’s in and out, don’t think there’s concussion,” said Warren as they reached the doors, having been giving his own update to Owen and Jackson as they hurtled through the hospital. 

“We’ve got her...” And, with what she hoped was a semi-reassuring smile from behind her visor, Teddy pushed through the doors after Maya, her head full of the one question that would echo through the heads of many for the next few hours….

How the hell had Bishop ended up shot?

* * *

  
  


“Carina…” 

As Carina looked up from the chart she was signing, the smile of greeting froze on her face, then slipped. There was pain in Bailey’s eyes, well hidden, but there.

“Maya…” Her fingers were suddenly too slack to hold her pen, and it fell, unnoticed onto the chart.

“Yes.” Bailey moved closer, reaching out carefully for the rapidly paling woman. “Come on.” Bailey guided Carina away from the nurse’s station, pulling the pager from Carina’s scrub waistband and giving it to a passing Resident. “You, take this, give that chart to the head nurse.”

“Yes, but…”

“Dr DeLuca’s off, anything you can’t cope with you page me.”

“I…” There was something in Dr Bailey’s expression that made their words die in their throat, so they just nodded meekly, watching as the normally so vibrant and lively Dr DeLuca was steered towards the elevators by the Chief of Surgery.

“Is...is she burned?” asked Carina quietly, hugging herself tight as she stood in the extreme far corner of the elevator car, watching the floor indicator change.

“I don’t know,” said Miranda honestly. “She’s strong Carina.”

“The others?” asked Carina suddenly, looking at Miranda, worried for her. “Are they…”

“It’s only Maya.”

“Oh.” Carina’s eyes watered, her attempts to persuade herself it was just going to be a scrape or a slight burn failing given Miranda’s presence. This meant it was bad, meant it was serious enough that everything else could stop…but it also meant… “...I’m glad Ben’s ok Miranda, Maya will be too.”

As much as it hurt to know it was her Maya that was the one hurting, it was also a relief to know everyone else was fine enough to not be brought in. Pain from injuries they could treat...pain from grief...the elevator ‘ding’ announcing their arrival on the ground floor of the hospital triggered a cascade of memories for Carina...

_ “...I don’t want to hear the bells.” _

That’s what Maya had said to her, only a couple of days ago, Sunday, when she’d been at the Station watching Maya put on her dress uniform.

No bells.

There would be no bells today.

There couldn’t be.

“Carina?”

“Mmm?” Carina blinked, seeing Miranda standing in the open elevator doors, waiting for her.

“Si...bene…” 

No bells. Whatever happened, Maya wasn't going to have to listen to more bells. 

* * *

  
  


"What the…" Teddy Altman looked up at the monitor, trying to understand how it could be. 

"Wh…" 

"Maya." In and out Warren said, right, this was the 'in'. "Maya!" Teddy's sharp shout had no effect, with Maya somehow managing to be finding the energy to whip her head from side to side, searching for something… Or someone. 

Teddy looked around, taking in everyone and everything, inside and outside the room, weighing her options. 

"Get Dr Bailey to bring in Carina, left side."

"Dr Altman? Her heart rate…" 

"I know, that's why I want Carina in here."

"Teddy?" asked Owen quietly, focused on trying to work out how best to manage the damage the bullets had done to her lower abdomen. 

"She's panicking. She has panic attacks."

"You know…" he didn't need to finish his question, didn't need to spell out that they needed to sedate her, needed to get her into theatre and start repairing the damage. 

"Yes, but it's worth a shot for one minute." Teddy knew she was asking him to trust her hunch, knew she was placing him and Maggie and Link and the others in a difficult position if this went wrong, but deep down she knew it was the right call. If they sedated her mid panic attack, Teddy's gut was telling her she'd keep cycling in and out of shock while under, making a stable patient unstable from within her own head. But she was fit and strong and they were containing the blood loss right now, and if she could go under calmly they stood a better chance. "We've got hours…" The way the bullets had clustered, Teddy was cautiously optimistic they’d find minimal long term damage they would need to repair once they got Maya into theatre, but it would take them a long time to prove.

"I agree." He nudged her gowned shoulder with his, confirming his agreement with her plan, but also drawing her attention to the doors. 

"Teddy?" 

"Maya? Carina's here…" Teddy jerked her head towards Maya's head, sending a message that Bailey, wearing a disposable gown and cap with her mask, understood. 

"Carina, Maya needs to see you…" Miranda coaxed, steering the still somewhat shell-shocked Italian through the organised chaos of their colleagues and equipment, making sure that Carina stayed slightly angled away from the bed so she couldn't see Maya's injuries. 

"Wh… Ey… For…" Maya's head was twisting and turning, using up valuable energy her body didn't have spare. 

"Maya…" Carina, tentative as she was led through the room, suddenly moved at speed straight to the head of the treatment bed, leaning straight over so her head was directly over her girlfriend's. "... Bella?" She waited half a breath until she saw Maya turning back towards her voice, then put her hands down on the table, either side of her girlfriend's head, ready to catch it if she started twisting again. "Eyes on me… Ah…" She leaned in closer, lifting her left hand up and smoothing the hair away from Maya's forehead, concerned but unsurprised by her warmth. "Eyes on me…" she soothed, trying to keep her own breathing steady, not even needing to be told why she was there. She had known, from the number of her colleagues stood around Maya, that she was going to need big surgery, and also knew that Teddy agreed with her theory that a calm patient was a stronger patient in the surgery, not least because they’d been talking about it at lunch hours earlier. “Shh...bene bella…”

“Wha…" Maya's eyes were now pointing in Carina's direction and her head was no longer thrashing about, making it easier for Link to resume his assessment of her right shoulder while keeping out of Maggie's field of vision as she looked at her right ribs and lung. However, just because she was looking in Carina's direction didn't translate to her seeing her, or slowing her breathing. 

"Maya, you need to focus on me. Focus on me bella…" Carina was drawing on every ounce of energy and control she had in keeping her breathing steady and her focus only on her girlfriend's face and the sound of her breathing. She was vaguely aware of the grip Bailey had on the back of her gown, the agreement she'd made with the Chief as she was putting the gown on - she looked only at Maya, spoke only to Maya and when Bailey pulled her back she went with Bailey, no debate. But there was no pull. 

"Car…" Maya's frantic searching changed to confusion when she recognised the face of her girlfriend. 

"Si bella…" Carina took a deliberately slow breath in, willing Maya to understand, to take the hint and copy her. "... Bene, and again…" she coached, stroking the sides of Maya's face now she wasn't worried about her head thrashing about in panic. "Va bene bella…" Carina smiled, radiating relief and love when Maya started to breathe at a more normal pace, very shallowly, instinctively knowing there was something not right. "Ti amo bellissima…" whispered Carina, starting to feel the change in Bailey's grip on her back, wanting to steal a final moment. “...dormi amore mio.”

"Ti am…" Maya was starting to fade, her face stuck in a smile as she found she couldn't overcome the wave of sleepiness washing over her, no matter how hard she might want to try. But before she could try to fight it she heard a familiar word in her favourite voice telling her to sleep...and now Carina had suggested it, sleep did seem like a good idea, at least for a few minutes. And then she'd wake up and be able to kiss Carina properly… Yeah, that was a good plan… 


	2. Chapter 2

“Carina?” Teddy stood in the doorway of the waiting room that the Station 19 firefighters had moved into a couple of hours into Maya’s surgery, taking Carina with them. By then, they knew Maya’s surgery was going to last several hours, and while Carina had been regularly told what was going on by Miranda, it hadn’t really sunk in beyond Miranda’s repeated assurance that Maya was alive, was strong, and everything was going well.

“Si?” 

Carina stood up slowly, her mind swirling like she was in a dream still. She’d been vaguely aware of the firefighters coming and going, of Andy and her brother mostly sitting with her, with Amelia coming in for a while as well. But the only thing she’d been clearly focused on while they waited for news was the arrival of the tall, skinny young man who she had never met but immediately knew. He’d clearly already spent some time with Andy and her brother by the time he appeared, because he’d known who she was, and sometime she’d worry how that was possible, but not then. Instead, she’d reached out and taken his hand, giving it a firm squeeze and telling him his sister was strong, brave and loved by all these good people.

“She’s on her way to recovery,” said Teddy simply, smiling at her friend, wondering who the young man, who had something familiar about him, sitting next to Andrew DeLuca was.

“Si?”

“You want to sit with her?” It wasn’t usual for the family to go through to recovery, but so much of this wasn’t usual.

“Va bene?”

“It’s good, it all went well…” Teddy came fully into the room, conscious she had many sets of eyes tracking her movement as she wrapped Carina in a careful hug. “...it’s going to be a bit of a recovery, but we’re all pleased.”

“Is that a good news hug?” asked Travis, unable to cope with the tension.

“Si.” Carina answered the question automatically, not registering who had asked it. Suddenly able to move more easily, Carina looked down at herself for the first time in hours, realising she was wearing her street clothes. “I must change.”

“Yes, but there’s time.” Teddy gestured to her own clothes. “I came as soon as we finished closing.”

“Ah.” Carina turned and rattled off something quickly to her brother in rapid Italian, which he evidently agreed with, as she then turned back to Teddy. “Grazie, I will come with you to change.”

As Teddy led Carina out of the room to the locker room, everyone looked at Andrew DeLuca.

“Maya is about to be moved to Recovery and as a courtesy Carina’s going to be able to sit with her there. It all went very well.” He laughed, remembering the next bit of her update - so like his sister. “And she apologised to you for making me tell you, but she didn’t want to start crying.”

“So she’s going to be ok?” asked Andy, feeling Mason Bishop’s grip on her hand tighten as she asked, his grip strong despite the deep gash across its back that looked relatively fresh still. “I mean…” It was the question they all had, but no one dared to ask - could Maya still be a firefighter?

“Carina said the only thing that isn’t an option anymore is appendicitis, because she now doesn’t have an appendix.”

“I had that,” said Miller, rubbing his side thoughtfully. “Not worth it.”

“Yeah, I’m with you on that…” agreed Warren, another to have endured the indignity of appendicitis in his early 20s.

“Man, she said a lot in not many words…” mused Gibson, still trying to wrap his mind around everything that had happened in the last however many hours.

“It’s a big sister thing,” said Mason quietly, starting to ease up a little on the stranglehold he had on Andy Herrera’s hand. “I think it gets installed when they become a big sister…”

“Yeah,” agreed Andrew, realising that with Maya’s little brother around, he wasn’t the only one who had an older sister.

“I thought it was a Captain thing,” said Vic, attracting Mason’s attention. “Only child.”

“Older sibling thing,” said Robert, his eye still in the closing up stage as the swelling developed despite the cold packs Miranda made him keep putting on it. “But there’s a similar version for Captains…” he looked at Vic, smiling at the memory. “...at least, that’s what Luke always said.”

“That explains it,” agreed Vic, glad that she had managed to get to a place where, while she couldn’t easily talk about Ripley, she could enjoy shared moments of remembering him with Sullivan without becoming a total wreck. 

Andrew DeLuca wasn’t quite sure who ‘Luke’ was - he made a mental note to ask his sister at some point, but it was clear that whoever he was, the mood of the room shifted down a beat or two, which wasn’t so great.

“Hey  _ Andrea _ ?”

“Yes  _ Andrea _ ?” she teased, earning her a wince, but glad she’d picked up on what he was trying to do.

“What happened to the puppies?”

“Didn’t Carina tell you?” At his shaken head, Andy grinned, “she and Maya are adopting them.”

“Awesome, what are their names?”

“Still working on that,” said Travis, nudging Vic to get the list out. “How many suggestions you got so far?”

“Wait…” Mason looked at Andy in surprise. “You persuaded my sister to get a dog?”

“Two dogs, well, bitches I guess? Since they’re female…” She trailed off, sensing there was something else going on in his head. “...did she hate them as a kid?”

“Hmm?” Mason was jolted out of his memory by Andy’s question. “I wanted one when I was little but was scared to ask so she asked for me.”

“Didn’t go well?” guessed Andy quietly, feeling his grip on her hand intensifying again. “You want to see some pictures of them? They’re very cute…”

“Yeah, and the puppies are sweet too…” teased Andrew, nudging his new friend with his elbow in younger brother solidarity. 

“Oh, yeah…” It took Mason a moment to work out Andrew’s joke, then he grinned, properly grinned for the first time since he’d met the firefighters, surprising them at how like his sister he looked when he smiled. “...wait, if you’re the Doctor’s brother...” He frowned, not yet able get past his sister’s girlfriend’s professional title and think of her by her name.

“Why do I sound American and she doesn’t?” Andrew smirked. “Yeah, we get that a lot…” and, with an amiable grin, knowing enough about Maya’s hitherto absent brother to know not to ask any questions of his own, launched into the explanation. “...I mean, we’re practically identical twins otherwise, right?” he joked, stroking his beard and pretending to push imaginary long hair like his sister’s behind his shoulder, making everyone laugh or smile.

Laughing and smiling...there hadn’t been much of that for the last few hours...maybe now they could start again...

* * *

It was strange, standing in Recovery, holding Maya’s hand.

Carina knew everything that needed to happen here, all the stages the patient went through between the end of the surgical procedure in the Operating Theatre and when they were back with their loved ones on the ward, but she couldn’t remember when she’d actually gone through it alongside a patient. Or if she ever had. It was...like a blank space in the patient’s journey that she never travelled into - too surgical for her to venture to when she wasn’t acting as a surgeon, too non-surgical for her to be welcome when she was the one operating. 

She was caught, torn between looking around the brightly lit space, brighter than the operating theatres with their carefully focused pools of light to maximise the contrast for the surgeon operating often with their vision split between the patient and screens or monitors showing camera outputs and scan results, and staring at Maya, willing her to suddenly wake up and smile despite the intubation tube making it impossible.

“Scusa…” She stepped back, not realising she was speaking Italian, trying to get out of the way of the nurses that came to change the bedding that surrounded Maya from the sterile blues of the operating theatre to the crisp white linens of the wards. “...sono sulla tua strada…” she continued, stepping further and further back, trying not to get in their way.

“Dr DeLuca?” asked the older one, not knowing what she’d said, but able to work out the sentiment from her movements.

“Si?”

“You can come back now, we’re done…” She straightened the blanket, straight from the warmer to help keep the patient warm as well as decent, the extensive nature of her surgical incisions meaning the only parts of her covered with clothes were her feet with compression socks, the shower cap type cover for her hair removed along with the theatre linens. “Dr Altman said you’d be fine to stay on her left side…” As she spoke, she repositioned the blanket, deciding that it might help the doctor take the hint to sit down and hold the Captain’s hand if it wasn’t wrapped up under the blankets, prompting her to also take off the pulse-ox monitor from the left index finger and pass it across to her colleague, nodding that it should be reattached to the Captain’s right hand.

“Grazie…” Carina moved forwards, her steps silent now she was wearing her sneakers, having changed into scrubs in the locker room while Teddy changed into clean scrubs after the operation. She’d expected she’d have to be gowned, masked and gloved, but instead a decent handwash and a scrub cap was all she’d needed, meaning she could reach out and touch Maya’s hand, feeling its familiar warmth and textures under her thumb, idly noting the grease marks on her hand, presumably from the fire. “Hai qualcosa per la sua mano per favore, è ancora sporco per il fuoco?”

“Hmm?” Again the nurse had no idea what the doctor had said, not speaking Italian, but seeing how she was holding the Captain’s hand and pointing to a dark streak...grease or soot most likely, since she was a firefighter. “Oh, sure…” She turned to the counters, finding the necessary supplies they used to clean up patches of iodine and gauze stickiness and the like, which she knew would also help clean the Captain’s hand of whatever grim was left on it from the fire. Putting everything in a small bowl, she passed them back to Carina. “...here you go.”

“Grazie. Bene…” 

She put on the gloves without stopping to think about it, starting to talk to Maya as she got everything ready, not remotely aware she was still speaking exclusively in Italian as she gently teased her girlfriend for not being able to keep away from playing in the dirt with her firefighters. She’d just finished wondering if she was going to have to be the one to teach the puppies to wipe their feet before they came into the apartment, given Maya’s apparent limitless ability to get dirt on her when the nurses returned with the anaesthetist and Teddy.

“Carina?”

“Teddy, grazie per…” Seeing her friend frown, Carina stopped talking and made a deliberate effort to speak in English. “Sorry, thank you for letting me come in here.” She looked at the nurse, realising her mistake. “I have been speaking Italian all this time?”

“Yes Doctor.” She looked at Dr Altman, who was reviewing the readings. “The blip is when we moved the pulse-ox from the Captain’s left hand to her right.”

“Ah, thanks.” Teddy picked up the chart and made a note about something, signing the bottom of the page and handing it over to the anaesthetist, like Carina, not normally here at this stage. “Come on…” She walked around the end of the bed and put her hands on Carina’s shoulders. “...you need to step away for a moment.”

“Cosa?”

“Nothing’s wrong…” soothed Teddy, realising her mistake. “...but you don’t want to watch her be extubated.”

“So soon?” asked Carina, allowing herself to be guided away from Maya, not disagreeing with Teddy’s suggestion, worrying whether Maya was ready.

“Yes. She’s going to be sore for a while, and really, really grumpy when she discovers how few of her muscles work,” admitted Teddy honestly, turning Carina slightly so she couldn’t see Maya as the anaesthetist began the extubation process. “But the surgery went really well.”

“What?” Carina narrowed her eyes, scrutinising her friend’s smile and bright eyes, knowing there was something else she wasn’t saying. “Tell me!”

“She’s in very good shape…”

“Si.” Carina nodded, not finding that Teddy said either surprising or explained the...oh.

“Hey!” Teddy rubbed her elbow. “Bailey said we hit with our elbows, not hit on the elbow!” She nimbly moved out of the way when Carina took her admonishment as a literal instruction and tried to jab her again with her elbow. “What I was trying to say, from a surgical perspective…” She saw her friend’s eyebrow rise in challenge, prompting Teddy to give in and retaliate with an ‘elbow’ of her own. “Oh shut up, you don’t need me to tell you your girlfriend’s extremely hot, but the muscles…”

“Si, she is very strong…” agreed Carina, thinking back to the times her girlfriend’s strength had been casually and overtly displayed, be it getting them free drinks from her ability to do push ups or a few days ago with the cap and their kissing and all the occasions she easily picked up Carina, something she’d sworn she’d never like.

“It’s more than that Carina,” said Teddy, sobering. “It was her abdominal muscles that saved her. She’s…” Teddy abandoned her thought when she saw the anaesthetist wave them over, the extubation complete. “...extubated.” She turned Carina towards Maya, giving her a little nudge with her hand to go over there.

“Maya?” Carina didn’t need a second hint, rushing back to take up her girlfriend’s hand, kissing the back of it as she looked at her face, looking much more like herself now she was just sleeping, a sight so rare that few other than Carina ever got to see it. “You did so well bella…” soothed Carina, brushing blond hair, disturbed by the extubation process, off her girlfriend’s face. “Ti amo bella..” she sighed, leaning down and kissing her forehead, the relief at seeing her breathing on her own after surgery immense.

Logically, she knew it could be seconds or hours before she woke, each patient’s reaction to the transition from general anaesthesia to their postoperative medications different, with there being no ‘right’ or ‘better’ way. But emotionally? Emotionally Carina wanted Maya to wake up for just a second, just long enough for Carina to be able to tell her she was wonderful, to see…no, she didn’t want to see her frowning, frowning was bad, frowning meant pain… frowning meant moving. “Sshh...tranquilla…” encouraged Carina, trying to get Maya to slip back into deeper sleep, all fantasies about her energetic girlfriend waking pushed firmly aside as the reality of what a long recovery might mean for their tempers and emotions. She could cope, they would cope, but not just yet, not before she’d even made it out of the recovery ward per favore?

“Umm…” groaned Maya, frowning more deeply as she began to wake up despite Carina’s silent pleas and gentle kisses.

“Tranquilla…” encouraged Carina, hoping Maya didn’t try to move too much, knowing it was a forlorn hope ultimately, with her girlfriend always far too bright and active whenever she woke up.

“Car…” mumbled Maya, trying to open her heavy eyelids, wondering why her body felt so heavy, like Carina was sleeping on her, yet her voice sounded so far above her. “Car…” she mumbled again, managing to drag her dry tongue across equally dry lips, grimacing at the strange taste. Forcing her eyes open finally, she immediately shut them again, finding the bright light overwhelming. “Ow…” she grumbled, trying to lift her arm to rub her annoyed eyes, only for it to be immobile. “Car…” she tried again, this time trying to use her left hand to work out why Carina was lying so heavily on her, why she’d left the overhead light on…

“Shh bella…”

“Car…” said Maya again, frowning when she worked out that Carina’s voice meant Carina was awake, and awake Carina with her voice up there couldn’t be the reason Maya couldn’t move her right arm. But if Carina was awake, she didn’t need to keep saying her name to wake her up, so she abandoned that and had another go at opening her eyes, a little more prepared for the bright light this time...but it wasn’t bright, it was Carina coloured...Maya grinned goofily at her girlfriend’s face. She remembered now, Carina had wanted her to have a sleep, that was it, she’d been tired and had a sleep so she could wake up and, “..Bac..mi?”

It was the worst attempt Maya had ever made at speaking Italian to her girlfriend.

It was the sweetest sounding attempt Carina had ever heard.

“Si bella…” She leaned down and gently brushed her lips softly against the cracked, dry ones of her girlfriend. “...dormi amore mio.” 


	3. Chapter 3

_ 24 hours later... _

“So…” Maya looked around the group of nervous looking firefighters and doctors who at least weren’t off their food anymore judging by the rather sizeable heap of mostly empty take-out containers in front of them all. “...what did I miss?”

“Umm…” 

She wasn’t sure who made the noise, but found it funny that all the firefighters immediately looked nervously at Herrera, while the doctors seemed to be equally nervous, but unclear whether Bailey or Carina were their unofficial spokesperson.

“Come on guys, give me something?”

“Montgomery’s boxers had fire engines on them.”

“Really?” Montgomery hit Hughes in the shoulder, hard. “That’s what we’re leading with?”

“What? It’s something…”

“Si, it was…” Carina shook her head, a small smile forming. “...something.”

“It was laundry day! They were a joke from...you know what? Nevermind,” huffed Travis, using the very animated voice and gestures that now made Carina mentally recast him as Sicilian and treat him accordingly.

“Are there pictures?”

“Si…” Carina looked around the room, finally zeroing in on her target. “...Andrea?”

“Hmm?”

“Mandale le foto, per favore.”

“There are pictures?” Montgomery paled, his freckles standing out starkly. “No.” He looked around the room for an ally. “Come on guys…”

“It’s ok Andrew, don’t show them to me yet,” said Maya, smiling, glad that Travis was being just, well, Travis.

“No?” Both DeLucas were surprised by her refusal to see the photos, but didn’t want to pressure her.

“Thank you.” Travis relaxed back into his chair, shooting Maya a grateful look.

“Oh don’t thank me Travis, I said not yet…” she teased, her smile turning into a grin. “I just realised laughing would really, really hurt right now.”

“Ah...si, bene bella.” Carina nodded, appreciating Maya’s view on the situation and, standing, leaned over and kissed her girlfriend on the lips with a tender carefulness that had everyone else in the room paying close attention to inhaling the remains of their take-out rather than look at the couple - there was such intimacy in the kiss they felt they were intruding otherwise. 

“Mmm...stay?” asked Maya quietly, tapping the space at the side of the hospital bed. “The chair’s a long way away.”

“Si…” Carina reached for the bed controls and shifted the height of the bed so it was easier for her to sit down on the side in a controlled way, wanting to be close to her girlfriend but wanting to not wobble and hurt her. “Bene?” she asked finally, sitting back against the pillows, her more upright position meaning it was possible for Maya to fit against her side and rest her head against Carina’s chest.

“Mmm…” Moving fractionally, having learned the hard way over the last few hours that most of her abdominal and core muscles were out of commission for the moment, she got herself into a position that felt comfortable, assuming however that she ignored the however many stitches and stuff happening under the blanket. “Travis?”

“Yes?”

“Where were your pants?”

“When?”

“When you were showing everyone your boxers. Where’d your pants gone?”

“Oh...someone else was wearing them. And my shirt.” Travis scratched the back of his neck, seeing Maya’s frown. “Umm, so, once you got here, it was a bit tense…”

“Tense? It was like the Sharks and the Jets.”

“I did not know you were into musical theatre Bailey...” stated Vic, catching the reference and glaring at Warren with a ‘how could you not say something?’ challenge. “Wait, were we the Sharks or the Jets?”

“Eh?” Carina looked down at Maya, pleased she was amused by the banter, though she didn’t seem any clearer.

“Showtunes, not my favourite.” Maya didn’t know anything much about what the show was, other than Vic’s community theatre had done it years ago, before Maya had known her but the songs about Jets and Sharks were still in her shower repertoire.

“Heathen,” muttered Vic, taking offence at the greatness that was ‘West Side Story’ being dismissed as ‘showtunes’.

“My point is,” said Bailey, deciding she was best placed to relate what happened to Maya, taking a sip of her juice, the green liquid a vibrant contrast to her blue scrubs. “I think we had about a hundred firefighters in the place while you were in surgery, and I sent anyone that wasn’t 19 out to the lobby.” That, Maya could easily believe, with Miranda Bailey being a formidable force at the best of times, never mind when she felt people were not being appropriate inside the patient spaces at Grey-Sloan.

“I’m sure it was only a few being loud,” dismissed Maya, not believing it was that many though. “Jack?” She picked up on him shaking his head.

“I went for a walk in the middle…” he gestured towards Teddy Altman, unable to say ‘surgery’. “...of her bit...it was after shift then… I saw 45, 23, 4, 12, 88....and some others I recognised from other stations...”

“That’s not 100,” muttered Maya, her hatred of being ‘noticed’ for herself not for what she’d managed to do making her not believe it was possible for that many to turn up.

“It is when the whole shift comes straight from the station,” said Jack bluntly, knowing those were the stations they shared the most scenes with, with 19 working a scene with 23 and 12 that shift, so those firefighters had been receiving orders from Maya less than 24 hours earlier. But he also could picture all the off-duty Captains that had turned up too, prompted by the shock of it not just being one of their own, in the sense of a firefighter being injured, but because it was a fellow Captain. In the end, they’d been especially useful, as once Bailey had kicked everyone out, they’d kept everyone semi-calm, or at least, not picking fights.

“Oh. Guess that got a little crowded.” She saw Robert’s face, raising a questioning eyebrow at him.

“Some of the guys from 45 and others didn’t like the tone of some of the SPD comments,” said Sullivan quietly, his usual stoic expression unusually quizzical due to the bruised eye and cheek he was sporting, though after only two days, it was still had quite a way to go, and he still needed little bits of tape to keep the cuts closed. “The SPD didn’t like SFD having opinions on their approach…” He shrugged, not quite sure what to say next.

“Who gave you that?” asked Maya quietly, pleased at least that he’d had it properly looked at and treated, though concerned as to who could be big enough to reach the freakishly tall firefighter’s face.

“I don’t know…” He did, but they’d all agreed, 19 and 45, that Maya didn’t need to know - Tess, the Lieutenant over there, had also been trying to pull her guys back, and neither she nor Robert had planned on colliding together like they did. “...I didn’t fight SPD, I got it trying to pull away the ones that were fighting SPD.”

“After that, I banned everyone that wasn’t 19, escorting a patient, or being escorted by hospital staff from the hospital,” said Bailey, remembering how they’d finally got everyone outside the hospital on different sides of the building, mostly. “It was a tense few hours.” More than a few, and still not good, but Bailey was neither the right person to tell Maya that, nor was it sensible for her to know yet, not this soon after surgery.

“Because of me?” So much for that plan...Maya was sharp, even when still less than 48 hours after major surgery.

“No!” Bailey took a nervous sip of her juice, her eyes darting around for who might take on the story-telling for her, her eyes settling on Andy.

“It wasn’t great right from the start, but when the initial scene report came out...24 rounds fired...suspect had a can of soda - the can was clipped twice and the suspect was hit three times.” Despite the close proximity, they had also survived, with a shot to the shoulder, upper arm and thigh. The thigh wound was their most serious, but was non-fatal.

“I remember that, it was down the street from us…” Maya closed her eyes briefly, recalling the second wave of sirens that had swept past the scene they were at, trying to contain a structural fire in a building on the end of a row of houses in the not-so-great part of their district. “...I heard the shouting and the shots and nothing.” She opened her eyes and looked at Teddy Altman, who was, of the four doctors here right now, not counting Warren, the one who was ‘her doctor’ as in the doctor with direct experience of her insides. “You said it was 8?”

“From you? Yes, eight bullets.” 

Maya had been about twenty five metres from the suspect PD were focused on, once you’d factored in the downhill slope of the street. That range, someone had helpfully said was ‘about the length of a basketball court’ away from the gun muzzles...and now meant Teddy and several others felt sick when they saw basketball on a TV screen or even saw the hoop up on the roof the interns snuck in one year. It meant she was ‘lucky’, if anyone who ends up with 8 bullet holes in them can be ever considered lucky, because by the time the bullets got to Maya they had lost a significant amount of their speed. 

‘Lucky’ didn’t make them harmless - Teddy could attest to that, having spent hours that felt like a lifetime in the operating theatre, working with various other surgeons as they methodically undid as much of the damage as they could. ‘Lucky’ mean what at four or five metres range was a fatal shot, became, over the greater distance and with the benefit that Maya’s heavy bunker gear had given her, not to mention the sheer muscle mass she had in places many of them had thought was only a theoretical possibility, shots that caused what was, medically speaking, minimal internal damage to her critical organs. 

But then, medically speaking, an appendix was an ‘optional extra’ in the organ count, not ‘critical’.

“There were another 3 in your turnouts, and two in your helmet,” said Andy quietly, remembering her radio call not getting a response and then hearing the shriek as Vic, who was on hydrant, saw Maya drop to the sidewalk

“So 24 bullets at someone they didn’t need to shoot at...I got..13 of them, they got five roughly where they were aiming and the rest?”

“A couple of trees, the engine and a hose.” Andy chuckled despite the seriousness of the topic. “The hose got everyone pretty good.” The engine hadn’t done so well and was currently off being fixed, so they were feeling doubly ‘off’ as a station, with their Captain in hospital and their Engine at, well, the fire engine equivalent, though tomorrow they were apparently getting a temporary engine from Headquarters.

“Yeah? Which one?” Maya could still picture the scene, remember the hose lines they’d run out to get water on the front and side of the property fast.

“The big one…” Andy smirked. “...it was still charged.”

“Charged?” queried Carina, thinking a hose was a funny thing to be electrified.

“Full of water,” explained Maya automatically, feeling the familiar bumps and ridges of her girlfriend’s knuckles with her thumb. “So rather than being flat, it’s round and hard because it’s full of water at pressure from the hydrant. And we were using our biggest hoses so...”

“A lot of water at a lot of pressure?”

“When the bullet nicked it, it formed a water spout as tall as the trees...” explained Andy, fairly certain Maya had no memory of that bit.

“Ah, si, come Lago di Ginevra.”

Andrew DeLuca, hearing ‘water spout’ had known exactly what his sister was going to think of, and had found a picture on the internet, passing his cell to Andy for her to see. The DeLuca family’s two days in Geneva had been about their only family holiday before the siblings were split up, they’d been on the obligatory annual pilgrimage (or that was what it felt like to a six year old boy) going to visit family in Northern Italy and for some reason that trip was combined with a couple of days in Geneva where they’d seen the water spout and eaten chocolate in vast quantities, two things that as a six year old had been much more to his liking than tea with elderly aunts and hours in Mass.

“Pretty much,” agreed Andy, once she’d seen the picture Andrew had found. “Only in the middle of the sidewalk.”

“That’s why you were soaking…” realised Teddy, speaking to herself, confused at the time as to why Maya’s uniform was wet when, surely she’d thought, the heavy jacket and pants were supposed to be waterproof?

“Yeah, we...kinda didn’t wait for the water to stop, we just...you know…”

“For which I am truly grateful. My insides thank you,” said Maya unexpectedly brightly, but she’d had some time to get her head around, well, her insides, as Teddy and Bailey and the doctors involved had been more than equal to both Maya’s curiosity about the state of herself, and, more significantly, Carina’s worried questions. 

But the circumstances surrounding how Maya came to be in Grey-Sloan, soaking wet with multiple holes in her body that weren’t part of the standard anatomical issue? That had been something of a mystery to the doctors involved, and explained this rather large group late lunch date, with no single firefighter prepared or able to tell the whole story.

“SFD top brass didn’t like it when SPD…” Andy took a breath, knowing this was the bit they were all worried about telling Maya. “...when Dixon suggested it was your fault you were ‘collateral damage’ because you weren’t wearing a vest and…”

“He tried to paint me as the reckless Captain…” finished Maya, knowing what speech their former chief would have used. “He threatened me with that weekly, when he was Chief, didn’t work then so don’t worry about it.”

“That’s kinda what the Chief said,” agreed Andy, realising she needed to clarify. “Chief Sato? He’s been helping out at the Station.”

“As Captain?”

“Only when we ask, otherwise...” Jack unfolded his arms, but stayed leaning against the wall, over by the window. “...he’s been really cool. Andy’s done most of the temporary cover, he’s helped out wherever...he actually enjoyed the projectile vomit food poisoning guy on Aid Car yesterday...” Based on Miranda’s ‘hmph’, it was clear that the staff at Grey-Sloan hadn’t shared Chief Sato’s enjoyment with that patient.

“...and volunteered racking the trash heap on this morning’s call…” Andy looked at Maya, grinning. “...I think he doesn’t like his desk much.”

“Where is he?”

“He said he’d come by later....we kind of told him he stank too much to ride with us.” Jack drank some of his water. “He’s a good guy.” 

“Anyways, the Chief Chief,” Andy couldn’t remember which of the various Chiefs had taken the lead, not that it mattered. “Said in a press conference that Dixon had been too corrupt to be a firefighter, so he’d let the public tell the Mayor whether they believed SPD’s claim you were a bad Captain. But the Fire Chief had no problem with you running a textbook scene in an area of our district we’d never had any gunshot related calls not wearing your vest as well as your bunker gear. He though, thought it would be better if the SPD explained why they had to fire so many rounds at someone holding a can of soda. And why their aim was so bad.”

“Tell me you paraphrased?” asked Maya, stunned by how forthright it seemed the SFD chiefs had been at showing Dixon up.

“Yeah, kinda...maybe not? We thought we’d wait until you could watch with snacks...” By which point, Andy rather hoped Maya would have forgotten about this whole political side story and wouldn’t watch it at all.

“Ah, cool.” Yeah, snacks weren’t on her diet plan yet, not much was at the moment, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to watch press conferences discussing her like that. 

“Still not seeing Travis’ boxers...wait...did I really just say that?” The look of horror on Maya’s face was enough to make everyone chuckle, including Travis, so Carina distracted her girlfriend from both the temptation of laughter and the mental image of someone who wasn’t her in their underwear with another gentle kiss...which everyone else took as a cue to make further rapid inroads into their take-out, all hungry, but feeling a bit awkward eating in front of Maya despite her assurances to them that they were fine. Eating meant sitting more upright than the gentle angle the bed was currently tilted at, and she really hadn’t enjoyed her first accidental attempt at sitting up. Plus, given how many of her girlfriend’s friends had had their hands inside various parts of her torso not that long ago, Maya was quite happy to let the various tubes and lines she was attached to do whatever it was they were doing as Carina assured her that was the way she’d heal the quickest and feel the most comfortable.

“Right, so…” Vic restarted the conversation when Maya was able to think about something other than Carina again. ”...Sharks and Jets? All a bit tense outside?” she summarised, waiting for Maya’s nod. “We were all kinda leaving each other alone, but everyone was still punchy...anyways... so once you’d gone to theatre...we’d…” Vic gestured to her, Travis and Andy. “...gone out to just see something different when we saw a guy being hassled by some cops. The guy wanted to get into the hospital, the cops were threatening to arrest him...you know…”

Maya nodded, her gaze firmly locked on Andy, waiting for the punchline.

“It was Mason.”

“Mason? My…”

“Your brother? Yeah.” They’d debated for hours how they told Maya this, what they told Maya, but finally they decided it was news that needed to be heard surrounded by family. “But I thought…” She looked up at Carina, confused.

“Si bella…” Carina rested her head against Maya’s wishing she could pull her tight and squeeze away all the confusion and the pain, but knowing that she couldn’t. “..I..”

“Maya?” Andy moved up, out of her chair and came to stand on the opposite side of the bed to where Carina was. “Carina told you exactly what she knew. She didn’t lie to you.” Andy rocked on her feet for a moment, then looked at both women who she considered to be her closest friends, family more than anything or anyone really. “I only told her we’d met him outside and thought it best he waited for news with all of us. That’s all she knew.”

“Oh.” Maya bit her lip, concentrating on a point only she could see, trying to decide what was the greater hurt - that Andy had lied to Carina or that she’d been drip fed the truth by the people she felt closest to. “Why?” It was too exhausting to run now, too painful to fight...she didn’t want to fight, not these people, not right now. Plus, she couldn’t actually work out why she wanted to fight people who cared so much.

“Because what mattered was that Mason had heard about it, he’d found you, he wanted to…” Andy ran out of words, not sure what had prompted Mason to fight so hard to see his sister, his sister he’d made it perfectly clear he didn’t want anything to do with for so long.

“He recognised Andy first…” began Vic quietly, coming up to stand with her friend. “...we’d already tried to get the cops to back off a bit just on principle, then we recognised him, so Andy...Andy called him by his first name. We didn’t want the cops to know he was your brother, in case…” Vic shook her head, not knowing how to explain it.

“It was the beginning of a really weird few hours, everyone was on edge because of Dixon and how he was...trying to play a personal power game...but Mason saw me, remembered me and when I went for a walk away from the cops he...he followed me.”

“Station 4 had left their Aid Car parked up, so we, er, borrowed it...” Maya’s eyes widened. “Yeah, don’t worry, Chief Sato claims he owed you one, for Christmas Day...” said Vic, not sure what or how Maya had these favours to trade with a Battalion Chief, but very glad of them. “Umm...how big was the favour?” asked Vic, really not wanting to admit that they’d broken into the Aid Car as soon as they’d realised it was one of the older ones with the alarm system they knew how to bypass and Mason demonstrated he was rather better than Andy at hotwiring.

“Not telling Station 4 he let his Probie Nephew drive the Aid Car after only...I think he said twelve fires…”

“What? But I...” Warren was a bit offended at hearing that, having distinctly remembered having to do his full fifty fires before he got the keys to 19’s Aid Car.

“The Chief was driving the PRT out to us Warren…” Maya turned her head so she could look at Carina. “...seemed a fair trade at the time so I’m not sure he did owe me...”

“Well yeah, when you put it like that…” He deflated immediately, happy that it was such a special circumstance that had seen the principles of Probies earning their rights the hard way temporarily overlooked.

“Since SPD had been told to leave us alone, and the hospital security were letting 19 move about…” Andy looked at her best friend with an impressively innocent impression. “...and since Travis still had his turnouts on, once we were parked up again we stuck Mason in his uniform shirt and pants, cleaned him up a bit in the Aid Car and then brought him in a different entrance with us….we were going to find Warren to get Mason cleaned up properly in the locker rooms here and into some scrubs but we met Andrew first...” said Andy, trying to telegraph to Carina not to be mad with her little brother.

“Andrea?”

“Si?”

“Come...scusa...but why do you have the photos of Travis in his boxers?” She forced herself to think in English for the benefit of everyone else, a stray thought hitting her as she remembered the other time she’d seen a photo of Montgomery in his boxers. “Is this another Mr July? I forgot to ask...” She had meant it as a joke, but her brain helpfully decided it did not like the idea of the team thinking Maya was close enough to the end for them to have to think about...no, she wasn’t going able to even think it.

“One, those were not my boxers, I had mine on underneath...and two, there was chafing ok? In places you do not want to know about…” protested Travis, crossing his legs with almost theatrical flair. “Wait, if you didn’t know about, well, the Aid Car heist, how did you see the photos that I did not know about?” He rounded a glare on Andrew, which surprised Carina a bit as she didn’t realise her brother knew the firefighters at 19, other than Maya, that well.

“What? She’s my big sister and there was a moment when she needed to laugh at something...and your…” Andrew gestured towards Travis’ crotch, unable to bring himself to actually say ‘cartoon fire engines’ “...were funny. And I just let her think you’d spilled coffee or something…”

“Si, grazie Travis…” said Carina quietly, remembering that strange moment in the middle of what felt like an endless night when she’d been waiting for Maya to wake up a second time.

“Oh…” Travis looked at Carina and saw...the fears he had remembered seeing in the mirror after MIchael...saw in Vic’s face when Ripley… “...that’s different. I’m glad it was laundry day now…” he finished quietly, understanding, glad that the fears disappeared from Carina’s eyes when she felt Maya squeeze her hand and remind her that it was now just a memory, that those fears hadn’t been realised.

“While Maya’s brother was in the shower, I found Montgomery some scrubs to wear under the...what do you call them?”

“Bunker pants, or turnouts.” Jack looked somewhat pained at a memory. “And he’s right, there is chafing.”

“Eww…” Vic’s expression spoke for a lot of people, people whose gaze was drifting in one direction.

“Don’t look at me!” said Andy, looking at Robert, hoping he believed she had nothing to do with Jack’s under-dressed moment, praying that no one would mention Maya and Jack’s ‘thing’ either.

“I was a Probie, alright? And like Montgomery said, it was laundry day…”

“Maya…” Andy turned back to her best friend, wanting her to know the whole truth, hoping she believed her. “Carina didn’t know about the… drama with the SPD.” 

“Si...you…” Carina knew she’d not known how adventurous Mason’s arrival had been, but she was now struggling to remember exactly what Andy had told her.

“All I told you Carina, was that Mason had come to the hospital to see how his sister was, but your brother was making him have a shower and getting some clean scrubs for clothes before we asked if he could sit with you. Did you even know…”

“About this tension you all talk about? No…”

Before Maya had time to even wonder if she could believe that or not, Bailey stepped in and picked up her side of the narrative. “That was my call,” said Bailey firmly, knowing from experience and the conversations that had been had over the last few hours, the risk they were collectively taking in keeping Maya out of the loop on some things for the first 36 hours after her surgery, which they’d all decided meant keeping Carina out of the loop too. 

It had been tough enough watching Carina discover that Maya was coming in badly injured, and not, as they’d first thought or expected, because of something going wrong in a fire. No, this was, if it was possible to be worse, worse than that...this was dumb, horrific bad luck… And Bailey hadn’t even started thinking about her own guilt that her first thought when she’d heard it was Bishop being rushed in was relief that it wasn’t Ben….

“I banned anyone on this ward from mentioning it.” They’d also switched the nurses round, once they had discovered how difficult Carina was finding it to hold onto her English, with the three Andrew DeLuca and Meredith Grey knew spoke Italian all coming onto this ward so that it was one less thing to worry about for them all. No one was sure if Carina had noticed, the main giveaway being the NICU nurse Vanessa, who was the only one Carina would definitely notice as being in the wrong place, but so far she’d said nothing.

“Is that why the TV is set to the kids ward menu?” asked Maya sleepily, her energy starting to fade.

“Yes.” Bailey held her ground when Carina rolled her eyes. “Don’t you judge DeLuca, I saw you watching Frozen.”

“Uh, actually…” said a new voice from the doorway. “...that was me.”

“Mas…” Maya smiled at her brother, still amazed every time she saw him, not quite believing that he was back in her life, that she wasn’t somehow in some medicated dream.

“You speak Italian?” asked Bailey, fairly certain she’d heard the film dialogue in what she’d presumed was Italian since it wasn’t English.

“Nope.” Mason shrugged, suddenly looking exactly like his sister. “I’ve learned a word or two though.”

“Si?”

“That one, and um, ‘baciami’...” He grinned at his big sister and her girlfriend. “...I’m learning that one means look out the window.” Deciding he’d teased his sister enough, and while not quite clear who everyone was yet, but understanding that Dr Bailey was not to be dismissed or disrespected, he tried to give her a more informative answer. “I was looking at how the animators made the characters and the backgrounds…” He tilted his head towards Carina. “Since I didn’t care what they were talking about, I set the audio to Italian.” 

He’d noticed how the Doctor’s English seemed to fade the more tired or worried she was about Maya, noticed too how when he’d had the TV on quietly in English when she did manage to nap that she seemed to then have bad dreams with muttered English words that sounded angry and stressed. Finding a children’s programme that was teaching little kids foreign languages, he’d tried the Italian episodes, initially curious to see what he could pick up. He’d watched three episodes in one go, only an hour or so, but at the end, he’d noticed the Doctor had been asleep by his sister the whole time, and he’d never heard her muttering in English. So he’d gone and found the settings menus and switched everything he could find to Italian, figuring that if it somehow helped the Doctor, that could only help his sister.

“Mas got into Art School…” mumbled Maya, her pride still evident to all despite how dopey she was becoming, something that the firefighters in particular found very strange, having never really seen Maya falling asleep.

“You paint? Walls?”

“Umm…” Mason looked at Maya, starting to panic, thinking back to what he’d painted around the city with the paints she’d given him, how it was technically graffiti, still unnerved by how close he came to being in trouble with the cops when he’d first arrived at the hospital.

“Si, he is very good Bailey, Vic has pictures,” said Carina, knowing Maya was fighting to stay awake but struggling, so redirecting the conversation to include the firefighters.

“You do?” Mason looked at Vic, having fixed her, Andy and Travis as ‘friendly’ since they were the first firefighters he properly met, as well as Andrew the weirdly American little brother of his sister’s very Italian girlfriend...oh well, it wasn’t like he and Maya’s childhoods met any definition of ‘normal’ either.

“Yeah…” Vic dug out her phone from her pocket and found the folder of photos she’d saved. “...her running routes are like an art tour.” Vic passed her phone to Bailey who looked through them quickly.

“Come with me.” Bailey gave the phone back to Vic and stood up, gesturing for Mason, who now looked terrified, to leave with her.

“Mas?” called out Maya quietly, stopping Bailey while she waited for Maya to say whatever it was she was going to say. “That is Bailey’s ‘I have an idea’ face. And Vic and Travis will go with you.”

“They will?”

“We will?” Confused for a moment, Vic and Travis looked at Maya, recognising the same expression, albeit a sleepy version which made it rather cute, as she had when she told them to look after Probie. “Sure thing Cap.”

“Have fun Mas...” Maya gave into sleep when she felt Carina’s kiss on her forehead and the whispered ‘dormire bella’, immediately out for the count and oblivious to the world.

“Va bene,” said Carina quietly, gesturing to everyone that they didn’t need to immediately leave, knowing that the firefighters had come as a team and so, presumably, had to leave as a team. “As long as I am here she is a good sleeper.” Not that she had any particular plan to go anywhere else for a while, and especially not when Maya was fast asleep holding her hand, using her body as a pillow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter, but it didn't really break into separate scenes.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos, I will get to replying at some point soon, but as before, I hope you don't mind I prioritised writing *g*

A few minutes later and it was just Andy and Carina in the room with the still sleeping Maya, the doctors going back to their patients, while Jack and Sullivan decided they’d go and get coffee for themselves and Carina. And since Carina liked the coffee from the cart outside the hospital the best, that’s where they’d go, even though it meant walking past four otherwise acceptable sources of coffee....and they didn’t even know if Carina wanted a coffee.

“They think they are being delicata…” mused Carina as the door closed behind them.

“It’s not their best skill,” agreed Andy, moving from where she’d been sitting around to the chair Carina had been sitting in before Maya asked her to relocate to sharing the bed. “How are you doing?”

“I…” Carina looked thoughtfully into the middle distance, seeing snapshots of everything that had happened these last however long and moved her head from side to side, unable to shrug as it would disturb Maya. “I think the phrase is ask me another?”

“Have you been home?” As Andy spoke, she saw Carina start to stiffen, so she held out her hand, trying to delay her reaction until Andy could be more specific. “Because I was wondering...are you wearing scrubs because it’s what you want to wear?” She half smiled when she saw the stiffness start to fade from her friend’s body, impressed that somehow despite her tension, she’d never disturbed Maya. “...or because you have nothing else except what you wore to work that day?” Andy wasn’t even sure when Carina’s shift had started, or whether she’d only just been in the hospital for an hour or so when they brought Maya in or whether it was longer.

“Si, I have nothing else…”

“Do you want me to get you some things from home? For both of you?” She had no idea if Maya was at the ‘things’ stage yet, or even if her friend would have the right sort of ‘things’ for the days of bed rest she had ahead of her.

“Grazie, I…” Carina frowned, trying to think of a list off the top of her head, but her mind was blank.

“I’m on til 8 tomorrow morning...why don’t you text me as you think of things and I’ll get it all after shift?” Andy was pleased when Carina’s frown turned into a smile and nod, knowing how overwhelming it all must be having had a small taste of it with her father when he was being less than open about his treatment, and with Robert and his surgery. “Even if it’s just things like telling me to call you when I’m stood in front of the closet.”

“There is a bag…” There was one thing Carina wanted Andy to get that she wasn’t sure she could explain by text, actually she wasn’t sure where her phone was, and by the time Andy was at the apartment, it might be a bad time. “...under our bed…” She still got butterflies of joy in her stomach when she thought of the bed in the room she slept in as ‘our bed’, prompting her to look fondly at the woman she shared it with, not liking the idea of having to sleep in it on her own knowing Maya was on the ward...but that was a problem for later. “...it is...one of your fire bags.”

“Ok.” Andy went with ‘fire bag’, suspecting Carina meant either one of their large, generic bags they got their issued kit in or one of the logoed backpacks or kit bags they all seemed to collect along the way.

“Can you bring it in please?”

“Sure…” Andy was curious, not knowing Maya had kept any of her logoed stuff, having never seen anything that sounded like that before.

“It is things she has for her brother.”

“Of course. How is that…”

“He is a sweet boy.” 

Carina didn’t often think about the difference in age between her and Maya - it came up when they’d tentatively enquired about when their birthdays were, and Andrea had teased her a bit when he’d discovered he was a few months older than Maya, but after that nothing - it wasn’t like they were putting numbered candles on each others’ birthday cakes, or worried about whether they were old enough to buy alcohol. But Mason was Maya’s younger brother, and a full decade younger than Carina which did feel like a lot, especially at the moment.

“But he is also scared.”

“Of Maya?” Andy didn’t ask if Mason was scared of Carina - she didn’t think it was possible for anyone to find Carina scary unless she showed her temper, which didn’t happen all that often in Andy’s experience.

“Of the world...it makes sense now, the polizia and him…” Carina looked across the room, over to the far side where, in different circumstances, there might have been a second patient, but instead there was an empty space where the bed might have been and another chair identical to the one Andy was sitting in. There was also, folded neatly on the chair, some blankets and a pillow.

“Is he…”

“Sleeping here? Si, he has not left her until now with Bailey unless it was Andrea taking him to shower and check him over or some time with Amelia. Teddy tells me he sometimes sits in the hall to give Maya privacy with me or when she has checks, but he does not go where he cannot see the door. But he is fine.” 

That had been a battle of wills between Carina and both their little brothers, when Maya arrived in this room and Mason was able to come in, only for Carina to stop him from doing anything other than sit and look at his sister, but eventually Mason had agreed to let Andrew look at a couple of deep cuts he had on his hands that she’d spotted. And while Andrew had been initially very reluctant to ‘baby-sit’ his sister’s girlfriend’s younger brother again, he’d agreed that there was no way, as a doctor, Carina could let Mason hold his sister’s hand with untreated cuts given her surgical incisions. 

She’d expected them to be gone the bare minimum of time, but had been pleasantly surprised when it had been almost two hours before they’d returned. Not only had Mason agreed that Andrew could treat his hands, but he’d actually asked him to look at another graze he had on his thigh and, before they’d really thought about it, Andrew had been able to give Mason a full check up. Even more amazing as far as Carina was concerned, was that after a second shower and another clean set of scrubs, Mason had asked Andrew if he could help him get rid of his beard and stubble, remarking that his sister had always hated his teenage stubble and teased him no girl would ever volunteer for beard rash.

Carina stroked Maya’s hair, moving her own position so she was lying a little more easily on the bed, now that it seemed Maya was actually sleeping for a proper rest, rather than just sleeping for a few minutes because she’d overdone it. 

“But then I do not like to leave her.” Considering her own reluctance to leave Maya, Carina felt she could hardly object to Mason’s attachment, especially given it was also their reconciliation after years of distance. And he’d been very good at sitting with Maya whenever Carina needed a few minutes for the bathroom or when Bailey and Teddy made her take some time for a shower, some fresh air and some food.

“That’s why she sent Vic and Travis with him? Because she knows he’s scared of something?”

“Si. I think he surprised himself...when he came here.” 

“It’s easy to be angry with someone when you know they’re around every day.” Andy spoke with such honesty that Carina looked up at her confused, wondering if she was talking telepathically now. “My Dad...” Andy’s expression turned wry, the half memory of a drunken rant over shots with Jack when he’d pointed out she was constantly angry with her Dad and, at that time, with Robert. “...and Robert, for a while, but mostly my Dad.”

“I wondered how he knew, but now…”

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, but…” Andy hadn’t been feeling well with the half-truths weighing heavily on her, knowing they’d, knowing she and Bailey had been instrumental in keeping Maya, and by extension, Carina in the dark about the extent to which the events surrounding the shooting had shaken not just the SFD, but SPD and the City of Seattle.

“Va bene, capisco.” Carina watched, her expression full of love and relief as Maya shifted in her sleep, the tiny movement making her face contort for a moment, then relax again. “She would have wanted to fix it if she knew, and I would not have kept that secret.” Carina looked back to Andy. “Thank you for not making me have to.” She saw how Andy’s gaze was focussed on Maya, clouded with worry. “She understands, you two will still be friends.”

“You sound so certain.”

“Si.” Carina waited a moment for Andy to look at her. “We are not the perfect couple, you know we have argomenti davvero stupidi...and this is going to be tough for her, and for us. We have already had big fights.”

“Here?” Andy didn’t want to pry into her friends’ lives, but she equally sensed that maybe Carina needed to be able to talk to someone, to have a chance to not be the one everyone was looking to for strength and solutions.

“Si...I do not like that she would not consider all the pain medication options…”

“The morphine pump?” Andy had finally placed what was ‘off’ about the arrangement of monitors and lines around her best friend’s bed.

“Si. She made Teddy take it out when I was in the shower...which hurt me, that she waited until my front was turned away...no?” Andy’s face, like Maya’s, had a noticeable twitch when Carina and an idiom didn’t quite mix. It was, somehow, reassuringly comforting to Carina that despite the seriousness of their discussion, it was still there.

“Back was turned.”

“Ah, I did not like that she waited until my back was turned to ask Teddy to take it away...she did not like it when I asked Teddy what medication she was getting instead.”

“Ouch, no, that would be brutal.”

“We survived.” Carina felt Maya’s hand shift in hers, and waited until she’d settled into her new position before she adjusted her own hand and continued. “And I and Teddy now understand why she does not want any injectable pain medication, and does not want any pills kept in here, and she has agreed to take what is prescribed by Teddy within those limits without arguing.” Carina looked back at Andy. “It is mostly because of Mason, not Robert, so do not let him feel bad if he notices.”

“Ah, wow…” Andy couldn’t even begin to imagine how that conversation would have gone with a healthy, fit Maya, nevermind a post-op, in pain Maya. “You definitely love her,” was all Andy could think to say, cringing when she heard how cliched and trite it sounded, but she really couldn’t think past that and how brutal, that really was the only word for it, those sorts of conversations could be with Maya.

“Si, and I am lucky that she loves me as much. I am just as...brutal.” Carina wasn’t sure she’d come across that word in English before, but took a gamble that it was not that different to brutale in Italian. “Which is why big fight two was me.”

“Let me guess, overdoing it?”

“Si, how did you know?” Andy’s smirk was self-explanatory. “Ah, yes, you have met Maya…” joked Carina, resting her head against her girlfriend’s and listening to her breathing for a minute, reminding her they were through the worst, past the immediate crisis now. “...and we will have that fight again but for now we are in accordo.” 

Carina was woman enough to admit she had been prepared to stoop to bribery, prepared to use kisses, the puppies and anything else she thought might be considered a ‘treat’ by her girlfriend, but in the end she’d not needed to go that far. Instead, after the initial moments of anger with each other - Maya for feeling she was being treated like a child, Carina for feeling Maya was behaving like a child, they’d managed to find a way to express their fears and worries. 

Maya’s had been fear of being a burden, of being so accustomed to being the strong one, the self-sufficient one who needed no one, so used to tackling the hard path with energy and determination she wasn’t sure she knew how to be anything else, not to mention Carina would hate her for being ‘needy’...which was exactly what Carina had been afraid of, that Maya would not give herself the chance to rest and to heal, to come to terms with what had now changed in her body, to not accept the support that was being freely offered, to not ask for help. Carina however, was under no illusion that this was a one time fight, with it likely to come up again in the future, but that was the future’s problem.

“I will be an idiot…” mumbled Maya, her eyes opening slowly, “...and you will be you..”

“Bella…” Carina moved off the bed but kept hold of her girlfriend’s hand. “...you were awake?”

“Why…” Maya blinked a couple more times, becoming more awake and grinning. “...was I right?”

“Why you…” Shaking her head at her girlfriend, amazed that in spite of everything she was going though she still kept some energy to make Carina smile and laugh, Carina leaned in and kissed Maya with open mouthed passion and love that was quickly returned, followed by a rapid stop as Maya tried to move with the kiss.

“Bellissima…” Carina immediately broke away from the kiss, her forehead touching Maya’s as she held her hands and started what was now their established little sequence as they both tried to recover their equilibrium and Maya recovered from the stark and shocking reminder of her injuries. “...bene?”

“Yeah...that one was my fault…” admitted Maya with a sheepish smile.

“A tie,” corrected Carina, knowing she was partly to blame for putting more energy into their kiss than she knew Maya could reciprocate. “Andy is still here…”

“Oh? Hi…” Maya also knew, from painful experience, that she shouldn’t try and stretch to look around Carina, but should instead wait for Carina and Andy to reposition themselves so they were both in Maya’s eyeline. “...gas trip?”

“Oil change.” Andy grinned as she stood up and moved to stand at the foot of the bed so it was easier for Maya to see her. “The Chief’s given us a list of what we can use...think tomorrow we’re going to go for windscreen washer pump blockage.”

“No, I used that one before…”

“I thought that was on the Engine?”

“No, Ladder.” Maya’s face scrunched in what Carina thought was an incredibly adorable way, and one she’d not seen before Mason had turned up, only to see it was an expression common to both siblings. “Engine was real.”

“When did…”

“Ladder? Probie’s Academy confession.”

“Ah…” Andy could see Carina was totally lost by their conversation and took a potentially brave decision and decided she’d catch Carina up. “...I know Maya could explain all this to you later Carina, but I want her to talk to you about more interesting stuff, so, really short version…” began Andy, hoping Maya didn’t take her help in the wrong way. “...we do some basic maintenance on the trucks ourselves, but we have to go across to the HQ garages for servicing and if there’s something not right with them. Also, we go there for gas.” Andy glanced at the door as it opened, smiling when she saw it was Mason. “When we do, we let dispatch know to take us off standby.”

“Ah, like Aid Car is before we accept the patient?”

“You know about that?”

“Si, Emmett...I asked him what he did at the Station during the calls and he explained.”

“Yeah, like that. It’s also a way of us getting a bit of a break as most of a team - one or two go with the truck, but the rest of us assigned to the unit get a bit of a break. The Chief’s suggested we use a few so we can come remind our Captain why she loves us.”

“And give him a break?” teased Carina, liking Chief Sato, having had a coffee with him a couple of days earlier when he’d come to see her at the hospital to apologise on behalf of the Department for what went wrong on Christmas Day. “Hello Mason.”

“Hi…” He was hovering inside the door, clearly excited by something that was also making him nervous, not wanting to interrupt their conversation but not able to be patient either.

“Whatever it is the answer’s yes Mas…” said Maya, frowning. “Umm…” She tugged Carina’s hand, getting her attention.

“Oh…” Seeing the problem, Carina let go of Maya’s hand and set off around to the other side of the bed. “Mason?”

“Yes Doctor DeLuca?”

“You can call me Carina…” she reminded him for what felt like the nine hundredth time. “This is something else you like to look out the window for.”

“Ah...oh!” Jumping into action he positively galloped over to the window, making Maya smile.

“You can tell me your news though…” prompted Maya, having shaken her head at Andy when she’d offered to go join Mason at the window once she’d realised that Maya’s issue was she’d managed to get her blankets and lines in a bit of a tangle and had only noticed when she’d ended up with a draught of cooler air getting in under the blanket. “I don’t mind if you don’t.” 

Maya knew from what Bailey and Teddy had told her, that Andy had been the one to cut away her turnouts where she’d fallen in the street so she could start containing the bleeding right away, knew that once they’d got her in the Aid Car it had been Andy and Warren that had cut away her uniform to try and do as much as possible to keep her chances good as they rushed to Grey-Sloan. Compared to what they’d seen then, not to mention when Andy forgot about the sanctity of the bathroom and bedroom when they lived together, she was positively decent now despite not wearing anything other than dressings and bandages.

“Dr Bailey wants me to paint some walls for her, if Andy and you don’t mind.”

“What have Maya and I got to do with it?” asked Andy, taking over so Maya could concentrate on Carina’s careful remaking of the bed around her.

“...ladders go with the painters, and she thinks the hospital maintenance team have ladders but you’re scary and she doesn’t know she should trust me on my own…”

“Slow down Mas…” Maya had completely missed the first part when she’d had the inevitable shock of Carina having to fold back all the blankets down to her thighs so she could untangle the line that was twisted and Maya could therefore feel pulling against her, but she could tell from Andy’s expression that she wasn’t following either. Despite her needing him to slow down so she could stand a chance of working out what he was talking about, Maya was so pleased to see him so excited about something.

“There’s this wall that is about to be painted boring white which Dr Bailey thought I could make look more interesting.”

“Mmm, thanks,” said Maya quietly to her girlfriend’s gentle enquiry now she was covered up again. She was feeling much more comfortable again now there weren't any gaps for cold air to get in and nothing was pulling against her, but even more so because Carina had checked everything was as it should be. 

Maya wasn’t especially concerned about how her body was feeling, her years of ‘embrace the pain’ giving her a stoical acceptance of things that wasn’t going to be unlearned overnight, but she was discovering that getting the periodic reassurance from Carina that ‘va bene bella’ was helping her stick to her promise to try and let her body have a chance to heal. She also suspected it helped Carina’s anxiety too, unable to fully process yet how horrific the whole experience must have been for her girlfriend - Maya had wrestled with the equivalent scenario from her perspective often enough in her sessions with Dr Lewis to know that she had no idea how she would cope if Carina were ever in danger at one of their scenes. 

The first time it had come up, she’d thought the answer would be easy - ignore protocol and go save Carina, it was what Robert did for Andy more than once, what Capt Herrera did for Andy, except she now knew first hand what burden that placed on whoever had to pick up the pieces, and she generally did put her faith in the protocols, recognising they were generally there for good reason. Focus, Maya, eyes...eyes on the only two people in the whole world she’d said ‘I love you’ to...not eyes fucking forward. She wasn’t going there now, now she was going to pay attention to what Mason was telling her. Because he was here, talking to her, excited about something.

“Is this the wall by the Paediatric ward?” asked Carina, remembering the water damage a couple of months earlier. “And you can come back now Mason.”

“Yeah…” He turned away from the window and came back towards the bed, glad he’d not seen more of his sister than a little brother could cope with. “I think so? But also some ceilings...umm…” He took a couple of breaths, trying to remind himself that he wasn’t supposed to find his sister’s girlfriend scary, but she was. “So Dr Bailey showed me a wall that had been replastered after something happened to it?”

“Si, water damage.” Carina looked from his to Maya. “The ‘big mess’ that meant I moved office last month?”

“Ok.” So far, so clear, and Andy was happy to just go along with the fact that there was a wall somewhere that had needed replastering and was about to be painted boring white.

“It’s right by where the kids are always passing, and Dr Bailey wants me to paint it for them, the kids I mean.” He put his hands in the pockets of the scrub pants he was wearing, Andrew making sure he got him the dark blue ones, and looked so like Maya in her uniform it was uncanny, especially when you knew how little contact there had been between them for almost a decade. “She thinks that the existing budget for the decorators could get quite a lot of paints and brushes for me to use.” She’d also said that she couldn’t pay him, he’d have to technically ‘volunteer’ his time to the hospital so Bailey could make it work, but since he’d spent the last decade living the way he had, it hadn’t even occurred to Mason that there might even be any sort of payment, so had ignored that part of the conversation, and the stuff about budgets to be honest, asking instead about paints, brushes and a sketchbook and pencils.

Privately, Maya had a feeling that by the time he’d finished, if he wanted to do it that was, Bailey would have ‘somehow’ found a way for there to be some way to pay him a bit, but that was something Maya would talk to Carina about later. And work out how to give the generous hearted Chief of Surgery a hug without being able to, well, hug, as this was clearly something Bailey had come up with on the spur of the moment as a way of helping her brother hopefully stay around. French toast maybe?

“Where do I come in?” asked Andy, giving Maya a moment to hopefully enjoy her brother’s excitement.

“The decorators have all the ladders. She knows the hospital maintenance people will have something, but she doesn’t want me on them by myself or being unsafe, and wants…” He frowned. “Actually I’m not sure what she wants, but muttered something about not having enough beds or DeLucas for two Bishops.”

“Si, that sounds like Bailey,” laughed Carina, only to stop herself before she ‘infected’ Maya and caused her pain as she definitely couldn’t risk laughing yet. “Did she show you how big the wall is?”

“I think so?”

“Did you look up?” asked Maya, finally picturing the wall Carina was thinking of, seeing her brother shake his head. “There’s like an atrium thing a bit further down the corridor, so it starts as a single storey wall but by the windows its two or three.”

“Now I know why she wants us to help you…” agreed Andy, remembering the part of the hospital Maya was describing but still unable to picture the specific wall. “That’s quite a long way up so you will need some safety stuff, but...”

“Oh.” That to Mason, used to living on his own terms for so long without any real support or backup, sounded like the beginning of a ‘no’.

“But what I was going to say if you would let me finish…” teased Andy gently, jumping back in before Maya could say anything, earning her a very familiar looking sheepish look from him that she was more accustomed to seeing on Maya’s face. “...is that we can have a look at what the maintenance guys have, but we’ve also got a few spare ladders at the Station. And we’re a bit particular…”

“Nerdy. A lot nerdy.”

“Fine, we’re all quite a lot nerdy…” agreed Andy, not prepared to argue with Carina’s less than flattering assessment of them all. “...about ladders and tools type stuff generally. Pretty sure between us we can get you set up so you can concentrate on painting and Bailey doesn’t have to worry about you being safe…” There was also, not that Andy would mention it to him, probably a lingering worry on Bailey’s part that he might still get some hassle from people, but with it now clear that Station 19 were currently to be given some space while they were at Grey-Sloan unless you wanted to get on the wrong side of Dr Bailey, having one of them helping him would reduce the chance of that being an issue significantly.

“So is that a yes?” Mason was so used to being on his own, doing things entirely his own way based on what he could lay his hands on, that a lot of what Andy was thinking about was starting to just sound like noise, though he accepted it was friendly, helpful noise so tried to not be too rude.

“That depends,” said Andy, glancing at Maya, seeing her nod and mouth ‘thank you’. “It’s a yes, we’ll help you if you want to paint the wall.”

“Can I?” he asked Maya, making her heart grow and shatter at the same time - that he was even standing at the foot of her bed was still something she was struggling to really believe was real, but at the same time, that he was as broken by their childhood, if not more so than she was, hurt her so much.

“You don’t need my permission Mas…”

“Don’t I?”

“Why do you think you do?” It was Carina who asked the question, witness now to enough conversations between the siblings to understand that Mason had learned many of the same defence mechanisms Maya had, and that when they each triggered them in the other, the conversation went nowhere.

“This is her life…” Mason stuck his chin out towards his sister, not looking away from Carina. “Your hospital...I’m…”

“The artist the Chief of Surgery at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital has asked to paint a beautiful display to make the children happy.” Carina paused, watching him as he chewed on his lip and stretched the muscles in his neck, another painfully similar habit she knew Maya had been forced to adopt to accommodate the cruelties of Lane Bishop. “That sounds like your life yes?”

“Do you know what you’d like to paint?” asked Maya, remembering listening to him talk for ages at night after he was supposed to be asleep, explaining the ideas behind his drawings that day, trying to explain to her what he’d not been able to capture in the images that he wished she could see.

“A bit? I mean, I asked Dr Bailey about the ages of the kids and stuff and I was thinking maybe like a teddy bears picnic sort of thing? But with some of the bears dressed up like doctors and nurses and you guys...er I mean firefighters and paramedics...you know? So they know you’re not scary? But I didn’t know it got so big...”

“That’s a beautiful idea…” said Carina when it was obvious Maya was reluctant to say anything in case she pushed him away. “...you said something about ceilings also?”

“We, uh, I saw a kid going somewhere in a bed and all he could see was the ceiling...I said it was a bit of a shame it wasn’t bright and cheerful.”

“Let me guess, Bailey said you should paint that too then?” guessed Andy, picking up on Maya’s quietness, remembering how he’d outright refused to stay with her, determined that ‘living his way’ meant not in any way agreeing with her about anything. “You know…” said Andy, looking out the window, sticking her hands in her pockets and sighing in relief when she discovered she had some bills on her. “...the shop off the lobby probably has some sort of note book and pens or something, might doodling help you make your decision?” At his shrug and careful nod, Andy grinned. “If I show you where the shop is, can you show me the wall? That way I can have a look at our ladders when we get back to the Station and can let you know tomorrow that we’re good on that bit of Bailey’s plan? So you have all the information?”

“I don’t have any money.”

“Here…” Andy held out the twenty and ten she had in her uniform pocket. “...it’s not a loan from me, it’s a loan from your sister. I owe her that for a crew coffee run on Christmas Eve and kept forgetting to give it to her.” Andy looked at Maya, willing her to catch on to what Andy was doing. “So you’re doing me a favour, save me forgetting about it and still owing her next year.”

“You drink expensive coffee,” was all he could think to say, looking at the bills.

“They’re not coffees, they’re desserts,” grumbled Maya, not needing any nudging to participate in this particular grumble. “Do you remember those milkshakes Mas?”

“The ones Mom would let us sneak while telling Dad we had straight milk?”

“Yeah.” Maya was oblivious to the look of pain that Carina shared with Andy at the latest casual revelation of the horrors of a Lane Bishop controlled childhood. “What the crew call ‘coffee’ is like those, but hot.”

“Weird.” He twitched his nose, like he was nudging some invisible spectacles into a more comfortable position. “Aren’t Italians like really particular about coffee?”

“No,” said Carina at the same time as Maya said ‘yes’, confusing him.

“Coffee is coffee, Italians treat it properly, Americans…” Carina shook her head, a playful smile on her face, “...make it into a dessert sometimes, but always treat it badly.”

“Do not ask how you treat coffee badly Mas...just never ask her to buy you something flavoured with syrup or frozen.”

“Oh, ok.”

“Did she ever have a sweet tooth?” asked Andy as he took the money and muttered a quiet thank you, not wanting to draw attention to his decision.

“No…” Mason looked thoughtfully at Maya, who was a bit preoccupied suddenly with trying to get her head comfortable on the pillow, so not appearing to be paying him all that much attention, though Andy suspected it was a bit of a Carina-influenced bluff. “...berries maybe? Yeah, she would always pick the berry flavoured option if we ever had choice...then later I would pick it so she got some.”

“Some extra?” asked Andy, thinking that sounded like a cute little brother moment, forgetting who she was talking to.

“Not extra.” Mason looked frustrated at Andy, “if I meant extra I’d say so.”

“Mas…” warned Maya quietly. “...she doesn’t know. Don’t get mad with her please.”

“I don’t know what?”

“It doesn’t matter…” sighed Maya, not wanting to dwell on something that happened maybe twenty years ago. “...and I don’t say that to defend him, I say that…” she yawned, frustrated that she was getting tired again. “...because I hate what he did to us.”

“Yeah right...” Just as Maya had ‘eyes forward’ to unlearn, Mason too had some things to unlearn, including a knee-jerk presumption she was defending Lane every time his sister mentioned their father.

“Tell him…” Maya tried to turn towards Carina, feeling better able to give into sleep when she knew her girlfriend was there, but Carina was still on Maya’s right side, which was where the majority of Maya’s injuries were, causing Maya to wince and inhale sharply.

“Bella…” Carina moved around to the other side of the bed with the speed of someone used to reacting to changes in the bed occupant’s situation at a moment’s notice, then sat down on the bed and took hold of Maya’s hand, helping her to focus on trying to keep her breathing and movements steady and small so as to help her discomfort pass. These were the moments when the morphine pump could help, but Carina completely understood why that wasn’t an option for her stubborn, loving girlfriend. “...sshh.”

“The order...you know more than And..” mumbled Maya so quietly only Carina heard. “Tell him please…”

“Si bella….dormire…” A few moments later, Maya fast asleep again, Carina carefully stood up and crossed the room, not wanting to leave Maya (she knew she would have to work on that, but not this second), but wanting a bit of physical space so she couldn’t hear their conversation so easily. 

“Andy, Maya would like you to explain the detail of the legal restrictions that man must comply with, but there are extra things you must also know.” She took a deep breath, drawing on the unconscious routine she’d adopted when she had to give difficult news to patients, knowing she needed to keep her composure no matter what. 

“Mason.” She had picked up on his tendency to gravitate to the window when something a bit awkward surfaced, and she knew this was going to be more than awkward, so she headed there, pleased when he followed her. Standing together, they watched the fairly nondescript part of Seattle this side of the hospital building overlooked. “Lane Bishop went to Station 19 one day and did not listen to your sister when she told him he must remain there while she was on a call. Do you remember the PacWest…”

“The bombs? Yeah, that creepy fire chief was arrested too…” He saw her briefly look surprised, and he smiled  _ that  _ smile, the one he shared with Maya Carina now knew, which made Carina feel like she would be able to tell him, that he was, for all his struggles to call her ‘Carina’, prepared to listen to her. “...as long as people print newspapers, homeless people get to read them.”

“Of course, my apologies.” She felt bad for making such an arrogant assumption, grateful he took her ignorance in good humour. “That was the call your sister was going to. Vic, Travis, the firefighters who visit her, they went into the building to rescue people and found a bomb.”

“And he got in the way?”

“Si. He did not believe the rules applied to him, and did not listen to your sister.”

“Is that why she has short hair now?” He saw her surprised look, “He pulled it, right? Her ponytail?”

“Si. She said he did that when you were children. Afterwards she cut it off...” Carina’s expression changed as she looked back at Maya, looking small in the large hospital bed but still somehow looking so strong despite everything, still Carina’s Maya… “...her hair has regrown the amount she cut off many times, but she keeps it shorter now.”

“Because of him…” said Mason bitterly, Carina spotting the flexing of the muscle tendons in his forearms and knowing he was making his hands into fists, fists she reached for and covered with her own.

“No. Not because of him...she keeps it shorter now a little bit for herself and…” Carina paused, blushing. “I was going to say a lot for me but…”

“She likes that you like her neck,” teased Mason, amused despite the seriousness of the conversation. “I’m her little brother, not blind.” He realised he probably needed to tell her something. “And I like you, not just because she loves you and you love her back. But you’re like…”

“Maya’s super-hot Italian supermodel doctor girlfriend we all take a bit to get used to?” suggested Andy kindly, saving him the awkward embarrassment of trying to articulate what they all understood.

“Andy…” groaned Carina, failing to remember Bailey’s request that surgeons ‘hit’ with their elbows and swatting at the Lieutenant’s shoulder with her hand.

“I was going to say at least a 15, but yeah. That works.”

“Quindici?”

“Umm, cómo marcar más de diez? Mayor que diez es como inalcanzable…” Andy, as so often happened when she was tired and Carina spoke Italian, switched to Spanish.

“You speak Spanish?”

“Andy does, me not so much.”

“Miente, pero habla español como una tía abuela que conoce todas las palabrotas.”

“I am not a Great Aunt!” protested Carina, swatting at Andy’s shoulder again, only to turn when she heard Mason laughing.

“Note how she didn’t disagree with the swearing…” joked Andy, looking at Mason with interest. “...y tu hablas español.”

“A little bit.” He glanced at his sister, checking she was still asleep, reminding Andy that they’d been having a conversation that was not only quite serious, but important to have before Maya roused again or Andy had to go back to work. 

“Mason, the way your father behaved at that scene towards my Station Captain was enough for my Chief to apply for a restraining order preventing him from approaching any scene she is at,” explained Andy, knowing this was the bit she knew more detail about than Carina, just because of her job. “It is something that is taken very seriously, especially as when he pulled her ponytail he was inside the tape line and had ignored her repeated orders to step back.”

“So she had no say?” His anger, so quick to rise, so quick to judge, started to bubble again, his fists, still held in Carina’s hands, started to clench tighter.

“In that part of the restriction, no. But there is more.” Carina lifted his hands up, holding them together, between them, in a position that enabled her to squeeze tight too. “She attended the request hearing and he tried to disrespect her again, and belittled her again.”

“Why?”

“Why did he do it?”

“Why was she there?”

“Because she had added to the request, because of what she knew about him, because of what he had said to her.” Carina took a deep breath, knowing this was the bit that she knew but Maya knew Andy didn’t know, unless she’d done a lot of very detailed research which was highly unlikely. “Maya requested that the restriction the Department was seeking for her also be applied to your mother…” She took a steadying breath, not sure until she spoke which way round she was going to say the rest. “...and, in her words, the only two people she had ever told she loved, her brother, you... and me.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

“The judge, because of what the officers at the scene saw, what was submitted by Maya about how he treated you as children, and because of what your father said to her and to me in front of the judge, agreed with your sister. I forget the exact details, Andy knows the measurements, but the simple version is Maya and I will only see him if Maya’s team must save his life at a scene or I am the nearest doctor to him when he has a crisis outside of this hospital. And that is only because of our jobs.”

“She doesn’t tell me about what he did now, not because she thinks it was fine,” explained Andy quietly, deciding she’d worry about working through the significance of what she’d just learned later, conscious time would at some point be against them and she’d have to return to shift or Maya would wake up again. “But because she has completely shut him out of her life and your life. That’s also why her running routes are like art tours…”

“She was looking for me?”

“She wanted to tell you something, this I guess.” Andy saw Carina nod, seeing how it all made sense - Maya didn’t want Mason to resist the little bit of help the Fire Department could provide, especially when they started to see how he would encourage the especially vulnerable forwards, somehow making them understand they were firefighters not cops. If they’d spooked Mason mentioning his sister wanted to talk to him, or worse guessed Andy, mentioned his father, they’d probably end up not just spooking him, but alienating the people they were genuinely wanting to help too.

“Oh.”

Carina let go of his hands after a final squeeze and then, after looking thoughtfully at him for a moment, pulled him into a hug, deciding on some innate instinct honed by her love for his sister, that he needed it. 

The contact shocked Mason - Lane Bishop didn’t do hugs, and while Maya had become accustomed to the physical contact first through hugs from Andy, Vic and the others and then of course, Carina, Mason wasn’t sure the last time he had someone hold him like this. 

It was...an intrusion, her hair against his face, her arms around him, the warmth radiating from her...she was everywhere, invading all his senses, making it impossible for him to think about anything else...which was strange because this now felt familiar….felt like something he’d not felt for a long time...felt only with his sister...tentatively he lifted his arms and held onto the back of her shirt, his arms wrapping tightly around her, the tension from his shoulders and back shifting as he went from being stiff and distant, unaccepting of her hug, to holding onto her with everything he had…

This wasn’t an intrusion...this wasn’t someone inserting themselves into his life...that was what his father did, that was what he’d assumed his sister was doing always...that was his misunderstanding. He understood that now. This feeling….what Maya had done, for herself and for him...what Dr DeLuca, no what Carina was offering….it wasn’t them inserting themselves into his life...this was them including him in theirs…

This.

This was what Maya had been offering him all these years….all these years he’d been fighting her.

It was time for him to stop fighting.

“Si…” agreed Carina quietly, wondering from how his body flinched if he’d not realised he’d said that out loud. “...fratellino.”

“Thank you…” he mumbled into her shoulder, his tears wetting her top but neither of them noticing. “...Carina.”

From the bed, sleepy eyes were half open, watching the only two people in the world she’d ever said ‘I love you’ to hug, Maya smiled then let her sleepiness win again.

Mason was here...and something told her that this time, he might stay. 

Maybe. 

If she didn’t screw it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translations this chapter:  
> cómo marcar más de diez? Mayor que diez es como inalcanzable - how to mark over ten? Greater than ten is like unreachable [And yes, Mason scored Carina 15!]  
> Miente, pero habla español como una tía abuela que conoce todas las palabrotas. - She lies, but she speaks Spanish like a great-aunt who knows all the swear words.
> 
> Italian:  
> fratellino - little brother


	5. Chapter 5

“What are we looking at?”

“MILLER!” Vic jumped, giving her friend a healthy shove to show him what she thought of him for surprising her.

“What? You’ve been all standing around looking up there for five minutes!” He looked at Jack and Andy, wondering if the Lieutenants would be more informative. “Is there a bird or something?”

“We’re trying to work out access,” said Andy, not really registering who had asked the question.

“Come again?”

“Oh, hey Miller, Probie.” She smiled at them both, realising they were somewhat behind on the news of the morning since they’d volunteered to take the engine for gas, giving the rest of them the opportunity to spend some time off standby and visit Maya. “See those windows up there?” She pointed to a bank of glass on the other side of the atrium they were standing in, which was a bit of the hospital most of the firefighters didn’t think they’d ever been in before today.

“Yeah…”

“Those are some of the kids wards. The rooms apparently look outside, but there’s lots of hanging about space by the windows.”

“O….kay…” So far so clear, at least in terms of hospital design, but still Dean was missing some fairly fundamental bits of information, like what this had to do with them?

“Down there…” Andy gestured across the atrium to where a long corridor appeared to join the space, “...is how all the kids get into the wards. It’s just been fixed after that big water leak a while back? You remember…”

“Oh, yeah, we came and helped stabilise the roof section, that shift you were Captain.” That Dean did remember, with it being one of those rare occasions when Grey-Sloan was the scene, and it coincided with Maya being at Headquarters for some annual Captains training thing. 

“Right, well this whole wall is one section…” Andy gestured expansively, including the multi-storey wall up against the glass wall of the atrium and the corridor, “...and since it’s just finished being plastered, Dr Bailey has asked Mason to do a mural for the kids rather than plain white like it was before.”

“That’s cool.” Dean nodded, folding his arms across his chest as he considered the space with fresh eyes, liking the idea. But he was still not entirely clear why his team mates were giving themselves cricks in their necks. “What’s the catch?”

“The ‘catch’ Miller,” said Gibson, coming back from the wall which he’d been studying thoughtfully. “...is that to make this whole thing work, all the hospital money that would have got decorators, white paint and the access gear now goes on paints and painting gear for Mason. And we…” Gibson gestured to include the whole team, “...get to smack that smug grin off 42’s face by winning the Mayor’s Community Project Award by helping him do it safely.”

“Really? We doing that?” asked Andy, looking at Jack in surprise.

“What?”

“The Mayor’s Award? Since when?”

“Since about two minutes ago when I worked out we could submit this as a community project since Grey-Sloan’s in our district, and that way we can get Chief Sato to sign off some department funds for some extra stuff.”

“You worked that out?” Andy folded her arms and looked at him in disbelief. It was a great idea, it just so wasn’t Jack to think up a solution that involved extra paperwork. “On your own?”

“Kinda…” Jack chewed his lip, trying to hold out under her stare, then cracked. “...ok, so I asked Sullivan a few shifts back how the Mayor’s Award worked…” While that answer seemed to satisfy his team, Andy’s eyebrow was still in its question mark position. “...fine, I forgot about it all again until just now.”

“So it’s  _ Probie’s _ idea…” said Travis, pointing to Robert who, for someone who was as tall as he was and sporting a rather swollen face, was doing a rather good job of trying to look invisible. “...nice one!” Travis ambled over to Robert and gave him a high five while nudging Jack in a ‘how could you’ joking manner.

“Great idea  _ Jack…”  _ agreed Andy, looking at her husband and smiling, knowing what he’d done - if he’d just come out and said it, it would have sounded too much like their former Battalion Chief telling them what to do, but by reminding Jack he’d had questions a few shifts back, who was also absolutely the one of them who’d try to think of an original idea for the Mayor’s Award, it became a team idea. Their vaccinations and homeless camp wellness work had been Station 19’s award-winning entry in Jack’s first year at the Station and, rather than chase some new idea each year, they’d just carried on doing it better and better each year. It was effective and made a huge impact in their district...but it didn’t win Mayor’s Awards, bright and shiny did that. “...so that’s what we’re looking at the wall for.”

“Big wall,” agreed Dean, looking at it with a newly critical eye. “...wait, are those window cleaning and inspection anchors?”

“Yeah, but…” Andy looked at him, wondering...oh, yeah, she saw what he was thinking. “Oh! Nice one Miller...hey Mason?” Andy jogged over to where Mason, finding all the firefighters talking about ropes and ladders and stuff was more of that noise that he found hard to remember was actually helpful, had retreated to with his new notebook and pencils and was drawing. “Wow…” Andy sat down next to him, captivated by what he had drawn. “...that’s us.”

“Yeah.” He made a couple more lines and somehow, Andy didn’t quite know how, the shape on the far left was suddenly Miller: despite the fact that he hadn’t drawn their faces, only their shapes, he’d managed to capture the  _ something  _ that made them who they were. “You’re a bit much,” he admitted quietly, finding Andy easier to talk to now she was out of the group, picking up as well that his sister was most comfortable when it was just Carina around, but that she was next most comfortable when it was either Andy on her own or Carina and Andy.

“You…” Andy was about to say that he’d get used to them all, but changed her mind. “...don’t have to put up with us all,” she said quietly, appreciating that while there was some comfort for Maya when he was with someone from Station 19, they weren’t his keepers.

“I know.” That was not what he’d said an hour ago, before their conversation in Maya’s room - before that, he’d have probably answered ‘yeah, right’ and verbally thrown some punches about them babysitting him to stay on the right side of his sister. He’d not get it right all the time, he knew that, but right this second? He’d been ok with wandering over to the bench and drawing. He put another line or two on the picture, then carefully pulled the page out of the notebook. 

“Here. Keep it if you like.” He smiled shyly when she took it, then closed the notebook, putting it back in the paper bag the shop had given them when they’d bought the book and the pens and pencils, its proximity to the childrens’ wards meaning it was a little lacking in decent paper for drawing on, with most of its customers favouring colouring books, but the pens and pencils had been alright. “You wanted to ask me something?”

“Mmm?” Andy was still looking at his drawing of them, marvelling at how he’d captured their personalities so well with so little. “Oh, yeah. What are you like with heights?”

“Alright.” He shrugged, thinking back to some of the places he’d painted in the middle of the night. “I mean, I’ll go up high to paint something.”

“Ever been abseiling?”

“No.” Mason looked at her. “It does look pretty cool though, why?”

“Because we think that’s the way you’re going to paint this wall.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry…” Andy realised her mistake - their deal had been he’d show her the wall so she could work out how they could help him paint it safely, she showed him the shop so he could get pen and paper and start to work out if he wanted to say yes to Bailey’s offer. “...we’ve got ahead of you. You don’t have to say yes.”

“Don’t I?” Verbal punch thrown, but Andy Herrera had been friends with Maya for too long to be taken in by such an obvious jab.

“Not if you don’t want to.” Andy stood up and took out her phone, pinging a message to Jack, deciding she was changing her afternoon plan. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

“What about…” He looked to the others, who were clustered around Jack.

“They’re going back on standby, probably going to get a call in a minute.”

“Oh.” He stood up, not sure what to do, finding all these people who were interested in him, interested in making plans involving him rather exhausting. “Won’t my sister be mad?”

“Hmm?” Andy didn’t understand his question.

“That I’m messing everything up for you?”

“What? No!” Andy looked around, trying to orientate herself, realising now why this part of the hospital had felt vaguely familiar to her. “Ah, here I think...oh, Dr Grey?”

“Herrera! Hi…” Meredith Grey looked at Andy in slight surprise, wondering who the man next to her was - he looked a bit familiar but she was equally certain she’d never met him.

“That plant room you took me to, before…” Andy couldn’t remember what it was called, but hoped the description was good enough, judging by the smile on the surgeon’s face it was. “...could we go there now do you think?”

“Sure, I’ll show you…” Meredith had been going to meet Amelia for a coffee, but decided this looked sufficiently interesting to warrant being five minutes late, so she looked at her phone for a moment, firing off a quick going to be late warning and then set off, leading them in the right direction. “...have we met before?” she asked the man wearing scrubs but no hospital ID, fairly certain he wasn’t in any way a part of the hospital staff.

“Er, no.” Mason could feel the panic rising again, the panic that saw him either lash out or run, but he was trying to do neither, finding he wanted to trust Andy for a few minutes.

“He’s Captain Bishop’s brother.”

“Oh, of course…” Meredith stuck her hand out, much like Andy had done the very first time he’d met her, years earlier at the camps, to shake his hand. “Meredith Grey, nice to meet you Mr Bishop.”

“No!” 

“I’m sorry?”

“Mason, just Mason.”

“Alright Mason,” said Meredith, smiling amiably as she shook his hand, a piece of her latest jigsaw clicking into place, recognising ‘Mason’ as the name Amelia had been mentioning these last couple of days. “I’m Meredith.” She stopped with them now in front of the elevators. “Third floor, turn left and at the end take a right. Last door on the left is the plant room.” She paused. “If you need a door code, 3391 should work.”

“Thanks Dr Grey.” Smiling in thanks, Andy stepped into the newly arrived elevator, waiting for Mason, who was looking thoughtfully at Meredith.

“Mason?”

“Hmm...are you Mere?” he asked Meredith, looking at her thoughtfully. “I mean, Amelia calls someone Mere, is that you?”

“Yes.” Meredith nodded, returning his thoughtful look with one of her own. “Yes it is.”

“Ah.” And, with a small nod and half smile, he turned and got into the elevator, deep in thought, totally oblivious to the look Andy and Meredith shared as each wondered what he was thinking.

* * *

  
  


“Carina?” Maya had woken up a few moments earlier and had found herself alone for the first time since she’d arrived at Grey-Sloan. While normally happy in her own company, right now, it wasn’t the greatest feeling.

“Un secondo bella…” called out Carina from somewhere, making Maya scan the room again, finally spotting the open door in the corner of the room, light and some steam pouring from it, followed by Carina, wrapped in a towel, her hair full of soap. “...how are you feeling?”

“Umm…” Maya felt stupid, and feeling stupid made her inner tick start throwing punches at herself...Of course Carina needed to shower and do other things with her life, rather than just sit waiting on Maya to wake up and…

“Ah, no!” The sharpness of Carina’s tone jolted Maya out of her head, and she looked at Carina in confusion.

“Let me guess, you think I should be doing other things than waiting here with you?”

Maya nodded, eyes wide at how accurate Carina’s guess had been.

“Impossibile…” sighed Carina, reaching behind her into the small en suite shower-room and grabbing a towel, which to Maya’s bemusement, she tossed on the floor, out of Maya’s line of sight. Having dried the soles of her feet on the towel, and oblivious to how ridiculous she might look to someone coming into the room, given she was still covered in shampoo and soap, Carina crossed the room and came to stand by Maya’s left side again. “I did not want to slip with wet feet.”

“Ah, I was wondering what the towel was for…” Maya grinned crookedly, allowing herself a moment to be amused by her usually so incredibly elegantly put together girlfriend looking so...soapy.

“How can you be accepting that I know you are wondering about the towel on the floor and laughing on the inside about my hair with the shampoo still in it, but are so full of doubt that I understand you when you worry about things?” She picked up Maya’s hand, running her thumb over the knuckles, taking care not to drip soap onto her girlfriend. “I did not mean to surprise you, I thought I would be showered before you woke up.”

“I…” Maya turned her hand over, tangling her fingers in Carina’s, looking at their contrasting skin colours and feeling the dampness of her girlfriend’s skin. “I feel so weak.”

“Why?” Once, Carina would have just rushed in to assure Maya she was far from weak, but time had taught her that her girlfriend’s mind was as complicated as it was brilliant, and that this weakness she spoke of could be from any number of things.

“Because…” Maya flexed and straightened her fingers, watching how Carina’s moved with them, feeling the stiffness in her hand from doing nothing for what felt like an impossibly long time already. “...because I’m here, because I can’t even manage to be in here on my own for a minute without panicking, because I’m making you feel like you have to be here...”

“Ah.” Carina chewed her lower lip, trying to work out how to help Maya, how to help herself… “Bella?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you do me a small favour per favore?” The unexpected question dragged Maya’s frowning face up from staring at their hands to looking at her girlfriend.

“Not sure what I can do like this, but ok.” She’d always do big favours for Carina, and not even think of them as ‘favours’.

“Bene.” Carina smiled, relieved she’d got Maya to look up that easily. “Can you please remember what you did on Christmas Day, and what you did…” She thought for a moment, “...si, on the very rainy day in October when I burned my hand on the tea?”

“Umm, now?”

“Si. But do not tell me for five minutes, as I must...what do you say sometimes?”

“De-sud.” Maya let go of Carina’s hand and reached up, relieved that she could just about reach the blob of shampoo foam that had dropped from her girlfriend’s hair onto her forearm, making it just in reach of her index finger. Scooping it up, she held it up for Carina to see. “Suds. Soap-suds.”

“Grazie bellissima.” Carina picked up the bottom corner of the towel she had hastily wrapped around her when she’d heard Maya call her name, glad she’d been sufficiently paranoid to turn the water off while she lathered her hair, explaining how she heard the quiet call. Wiping the soapy foam from her girlfriend’s finger, she grinned. “You are now de-sudded?”

“I am…” Maya grinned, in spite of her fears and doubts, unable not to react to the sight of her girlfriend’s amazing body. “...you’re beautiful.”

“I’m soapy...” dismissed Carina, not seeing the two could be combined.

“Still beautiful,” corrected Maya, reaching for Carina’s hand again, frustrated that she was unable to lean forward or generally move so that she could initiate a kiss unless Carina came closer. “I don’t need five minutes to remember...Christmas Day I stayed with you at the Station because you’d worked yourself to exhaustion being an amazingly brilliant, wonderful doctor who brought sixteen Christmas babies into the world, and there wasn’t anywhere else I wanted to be while you rested enough to go home and enjoy our first Christmas together…” God, that felt like a lifetime ago, but it was...nope, Maya had no idea what day it was, but then she’d had no idea what day it was when she was on shift either, the combination of the eternal problem of working 24 hour shifts and the specific date confusion Christmas caused for everyone neatly destroying her inner calendar.

“...and that very rainy day in October when your hand was burned by the hot tea the Resident who shall not be named spilt on you, I came in after my shift had finished and kept you company in your office while you tried to rearrange all your patients so they would not be affected by you not being able to wear a glove on your hand for a few days. And tried to get you to not use your left hand so you didn’t make it worse…” As she spoke, Maya had found the almost invisible area on her girlfriend’s left hand, along the thumb metacarpal and proximal phalanx - she knew that was the specific name of the bones directly beneath the skin that had been scalded and lightly burned as Carina had explained rather grumpily when Maya’s explanation to Andy was insufficiently precise for the Doctor. “...and there was nowhere else I wanted to be then either, even when you shouted at me in Italian.”

“Bene.” Carina sighed, she’d hoped her question would preoccupy Maya while she finished her shower, but no, she should have known better. “Why is it that you can be so kind to me but so confused when I wish to be the same to you?”

“But…” Maya paused, her mind replaying snippets of Christmas Day, feeling the residual ache in her left shoulder from when she’d caught the sudden deadweight of Carina as she fainted. It was barely noticeable even before the rather louder yelling the rest of her body was now doing, but it was still loud enough to make her pause. “Oh.” She chewed her lip and finally smiled a nervous smile. “Guess I was right earlier.”

“Oh?”

“I said I’d be an idiot and you’d be you.”

“Ah, si…” Carina reached out and tapped Maya’s nose playfully with her finger, painting it with soap suds. “...I am here because there is nowhere else I want to be…” She picked up a tissue from the box on the side of the bed and wiped the soap sud away from Maya’s nose, pleased to see the amusement was starting to sparkle in her eyes again. “...and because later this afternoon you will probably be offered a chance to get clean and fresh bedding.”

“Oh…” Maya’s eyes widened when she realised what that probably meant given her current predicament. Bed-bath. Which wasn’t something overly fun sounding unless your super-hot-Italian-supermodel-doctor-of-a-girlfriend was the one doing it. It still might not get as far as ‘fun’, but it wasn’t something to be dreaded, and being clean did sound nice. “Oh.”

“Si.” Carina picked up Maya’s left hand and kissed it, regretting she had all the soap in her hair as she didn’t want to risk leaning over and kissing Maya properly - shampoo would not help with fast healing. “Sei troppo bella per condividere bellissima.”

“I have no idea what that means…” complained Maya smiling, eagerly listening for her favourite word which she hadn’t yet heard, much to her frustration.

“You are too beautiful to share and yes, I will kiss you bella…” she teased, knowing what Maya was hoping for, “but after I de-sud!” And, with a cheeky wink, she turned and nipped back into the shower.

“Carina…” groaned Maya, letting her head sink back into the pillow, frustrated at her girlfriend’s teasing but deep down knowing Carina was right, about the kiss yes, but about the other stuff too. 

What was it Dr Lewis had said? 

That she could maybe learn to sleep, to rest and to love? She’d made some progress on the love part since then...loving Carina certainly, but wasn’t always so good at remembering ‘love’ meant allowing herself to be loved, which she guessed was Carina’s point just now.

She surprised herself with a yawn, which then made her smirk and, were it not for the sudden stark reminder of her ribs which twinged for a moment, might even have laughed as her eyes slipped closed.

Sleep and rest….she was certainly getting some opportunity to practice those now...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains:  
> \- my development of how Maya came to be an athlete  
> \- my development of the tiny bit of canon backstory the show gave us in season 1 for Mason Bishop's drug use - reference no more vivid or detailed than the show, but use page find for 'new voice' and stop reading when you get there, and then page find 'fixing things' and restart from the beginning of that sentence.  
> \- continuation of Andy's reaction to the events I've put poor Maya through - it's not detailed, no more vivid than what would be on the show, but use page find for 'Captain Softie' and stop at the end of that sentence.
> 
> Otherwise, please enjoy and Chapter 7 is right behind this one....
> 
> It is no more vivid or detailed than the show, but if you would prefer to avoid, please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wonderful comments on this story so far, and the earlier stories....and all the kudos. I really do appreciate it all (feel free to come say 'hi' on tumblr if you do that...I'm very originally using the same ID there as here on AO3....
> 
> Now, onwards with the story....hope no one has hayfever.....

“What is this place?”

“It’s a room full of plants,” said Andy, heading over to the chairs she and Meredith had sat in, months ago.

“Yeah, but why?”

“No idea.” Andy sat down in the chair she’d sat in last time and leaned back, closing her eyes. “But it’s kinda cool.”

“Weird, for a hospital though…”

“Maybe?” Andy opened her eyes and looked around, seeing him tentatively perching on one of the other chairs. “I’ve stopped worrying about stuff like that.”

“What did you want to talk about?” His voice had shifted, taking on the same hard edge his sister’s got when she was trying to preempt the fight to make Andy go away rather than stay long enough to work out what was wrong.

“Nothing.” Andy looked at him, her expression neutral and open. “Really. I don’t want to talk to you about anything...but I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes it’s helpful to just talk and plants are good listeners.” 

She closed her eyes and sighed, feeling the peace and quiet of the room start to sink in, making her wonder if she might actually sleep. But if she didn’t, this quiet and peace was nice...soothing. She forgot how quiet plants were, not even breathing loudly. And Robert was breathing extra loudly at the moment with his bruised face.

Eventually, forgetting Mason was there, not thinking how anyone might be listening, not even realising she was talking aloud, she started ordering her thoughts, working through some of them, trying to chip away at them before she crumbled under them.

“Why was it... I’m straight….I’m married....she’s my best friend and no one should be able to do that, in our kit, and stupid early on Christmas Day...she’s not even, I mean, she was a bit like she’d put the effort in, but for the speed and distance? That wasn’t...she wasn’t doing what she normally does harder...she was…”

“Different.” Mason looked up, mortified. He’d not realised he’d been listening until he replied.

“Huh?” Andy opened her eyes slowly, like she was waking from a dream, her stomach churning.

“Maya.”

“What about her?”

“What you were saying…” He looked at her for some sign she was alright for him to continue, recognising she hadn’t been deliberately talking to him. “...I’m guessing she ran somewhere super fast?”

“Yeah, but she’s always been fast, I mean…”

“Gold Medal? Yeah, but that’s…” He frowned, putting down his notebook, scrubbing his hands through his hair, it feeling weird that there weren’t any knots or tangles in it. “...she ever tell you why she was an Olympian?” He looked back over his shoulder, elbows rested on his knees so he could try talking at the plants, but still being very aware of his human audience.

“Because she was good?” Andy’s question told him she didn’t know, so he turned back to the plants, picturing how it all began.

“I got a bike for my birthday...only real special present I remember...I was 4? No, 5, anyway Maya was 8 or 9. We went out on the street with Mom and I tried it with the training wheels, up and down the sidewalk, between Mom and Maya. Then I went faster and, a drain cover maybe? I was off the sidewalk on the road.” He looked back at Andy. “I don’t know what happened next, but my bike was on its side in the road, all bent from the car and I was sitting on the front lawn of the house across the street with sore legs and Maya puking.”

“A car?” Andy could picture the scene all too easily, having been called to a few over her career, like any firefighter.

“Yeah, she saw it and ran and ran and somehow we were across the street and I had bruises on my legs and she’d run so fast she was puking.” He sat back up in the chair, looking at the plants. “Mom told me, when I was a teenager. Lane was in the car.”

“Driving?”

“I don’t know. But as Mom never said, I guessed so. With some other guy...they been drinking.” He clenched his fists in his lap, but appeared to Andy to be otherwise fairly relaxed, which was more than she was. Now she thought about it, she’d never known how or why Maya had been serious enough about running early enough in her life to have reached the heights she did as young as she did, but she was starting to see how it might have started at least. “Lane had a temper, but that...if it was a movie it would be epic. It was Mom’s fault for letting me in the street, I remember him yelling at her, and at me for my bike being bust.” He leaned forwards again, his elbows returning to his knees. “All my memories of my sister after that are attached to her running.”

“Did you ever know who the other guy was?” asked Andy, wondering what Lane Bishop did in life other than take credit for his daughter’s achievement when it suited him, and crush her when he felt he needed power.

“Some City Official Lane met somewhere Mom said...he was the one that realised my sister was...worth working on. So that’s what Lane did.” He looked back at Andy, a new thought occurring to him. “You know her really well…”

“She says I’m her best friend…” acknowledged Andy cautiously, not sure anyone except Carina could claim to know Maya ‘really well’ compared to how well Mason still seemed to know his sister despite their non-contact for years. “...I know her better than everyone you’ve met apart from Carina obviously,” she compromised, deciding that was both fair and accurate.

“Have you ever known her to run for fun?”

“Maya? She’s always running…”

“Not what I asked.” The return of the abruptness made Andy pause, going back over what he’d said, starting to understand his verbal reflexes a little.

“She runs a lot...she runs…” Suddenly Andy remembered the undercover raid, back before...before everything got tangled up, before...before Maya started treating her as an equal and treated her as the heir apparent to be coached into first place...back before Ryan….when they were in the aid car, waiting to respond to something, anything and Maya went for a run ‘in her mind’. “...she runs when she’s worked up...or there’s stuff going on she can’t…” It felt almost traitorous thinking these thoughts aloud given what Maya had just gone through, what she was going through, but now she knew how Maya’s talent had been revealed. “...she was scared for you when she saw the car so she ran, to save you…”

“What was she running to?”

“When?”

“Stupid early Christmas morning.”

“The Station, from a scene.”

“Why? What was at the Station? And aren’t you guys supposed to stay where you’re sent?” It was Mason’s turn to struggle to put the puzzle together.

“A woman arrived at the Station in labour. Carina was there with our Probie, but when he put the call in your sister should have been recalled to the Station as that was the greater priority than our scene. But she wasn’t.” Suddenly Andy saw what he’d known from how she described Maya’s running, what now Andy saw because she understood what had happened in that part of the early morning that’s still night on Christmas Day. “Carina...like you on your bike. It makes sense…”

“Ok.” He was happy now, to accept that Carina being in a difficult situation could trigger the same reaction in his sister now as him and his bike had for her twenty years earlier, even if he didn’t know what happened on Christmas Day. “Lane was good at scaring her, scaring all of us.”

“And he saw that a scared Maya was good at running?”

“Pretty much.” He sat back up, picking up his notebook again, feeling like he’d run out of words. “I’m not sure she even remembers that’s why she had running as ‘her thing’ at school...Lane certainly forgot.”

“Is that why you OD’ed?” asked a new voice, surprising both Andy and Mason, as Amelia came and sat down on the chair facing him. “That’s when you took the overdose right?”

“Sure, the day of her race…”

“Be more specific.”

Andy was about to intervene, to ask Amelia to back off, but then she remembered Carina saying one of the few times Mason left Maya was when he went to talk to Amelia, that he’d talked to Amelia enough to know she called Meredith Grey by an abbreviation. Given what Mason had asked Meredith as they got into the elevator, Andy suspected that Amelia’s appearance wasn’t a coincidence.

“The camera zoomed in on her, she was stood with her hands on her knees, looking up at the big screen in the stadium and the screen said Maya Bishop Olympic Champion. I had it all in place before the race... and looking at my sister, bent over, almost puking over a box saying Olympic Champion...that’s when I pushed the needle in.”

“Does she know?” asked Amelia, the steel from her voice gone as she reached out and wrapped her hand over his fist, much like Carina had done.

“That I OD’ed that day? Yeah.”

“That you waited to see her win.”

“No.”

“You need to tell her,” said Andy, covering his other clenched fist with her hand, her earlier confusion about why she’d been feeling jealous about how apparently Maya had kept parts of herself back from Andy despite their ‘no secrets’ claims, about how she’d seemingly had extra gears she’d kept back...that was gone at a stroke.

“It’s easier to say the second time,” said Amelia quietly, knowing what he was probably thinking right now it was too much to ever think about again never mind speak about. “And I’m sorry, but you know I have to ask.” They’d gone through the ground rules together, after he’d accepted her unconventional offer to help him hang onto his sobriety while he hung around for his sister. How long that was, was entirely his call, but he’d waited long enough to wait for the end of surgery, so why didn’t they use some of the time to compare notes. At which point, she’d helped herself to half of one of his sandwiches in exchange for the second slice of cake she’d accidentally bought and informed him her she’d show him her sobriety chips for alcohol now, but the ones for the pills only came out on a second ‘date’.

“Have I thought about drugs? Yes, because I’m a drug addict. Have I taken any or started working out how I could get some to take since you last asked me? No.”

“Ok.” Amelia leaned back and let go of his hand, which was less tightly fisted. “You look like shit Herrera.”

“Thanks,” said Andy sarcastically, knowing from watching her with Carina and Teddy that Amelia’s conversation style started at ‘home truths’ and only got punchier the more she cared. “Subtle change of subject there…”

“When did you sleep?”

“Tuesday...before shift.” 

They both watched as Mason stood up and went to sit in a chair on the far side of the room, clearly feeling he’d used up all his words - he’d actually remembered that he’d started having to use so many words because he’d not managed to stop listening when Andy was just talking to the plants. And if Andy was now talking to Amelia, who was weirdly good at making people talk, he didn’t want to accidentally interrupt her again. Plus, now he was over the weirdness of it all, this room was kinda cool.

“You told the plants what you see yet?”

“How’d you know? Oh…” Andy realised she could answer her own question. “Meredith Grey. And no. Not yet. I’d only got as far as Friday...”

“Friday? Oh, the babies. Yeah.” Amelia leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes, remembering her own couple of days over Christmas, remembering Sunday when she’d so nearly… “Your uniform, not that bit…” She waved a distracted hand in Andy’s general direction. “...the rest of it, is really heavy.”

“I guess so…” Andy frowned. “How’d you know?” She didn’t remember Amelia trying any of it on when she’d been at the Station on Christmas Day though Teddy had worn Maya’s coat..the coat...no, focus...

“It’s strange, how our addictions haunt us. I so wanted a drink on Saturday.”

“What did you do?” Andy remembered Amelia from the lobby on Sunday morning, right before they went and gave the twins their bears, caught between being relieved to have someone else’s issues to distract her from her own, and worried for her friend, worried for Carina too, knowing how close she and Amelia were.

“Came to work.” She laughed quietly, not needing to open her eyes to feel Andy’s surprise. “Yeah, weird right? Drug addict feeling low goes to building full of drugs. But I wanted a drink, and working helped, so I kept working and working and ended up in Carina’s office later on Sunday morning, after you’d done the bear thing.” Amelia opened her eyes and turned her head, keeping it resting against the back of the chair, but looked at Andy. “And I remember Maya saying she was really bad at taking care of people but good at fixing things...next thing I properly remember is waking up to Bailey doing her charts in a chair next to me, a stack of heavy blankets on me on top of Maya’s blue uniform jacket with the braid?” She saw Andy’s nod that she understood which jacket Amelia meant. “Apparently Maya’s ‘fixing things’ included remembering I’d suggested a weighted blanket as an option to try and so put that jacket on me, then your what is it called?”

“Turncoat or bunker coat.”

“Then she put her turncoat on top of me too, and that was heavy enough to get me to calm enough to sleep.” In Amelia’s mind, Maya would always be ‘Captain Softie’ after what she’d learned about her in the last week, understanding now that Carina had seen it from the start. 

“I had to use my knife.”

“Excuse me?”

“To cut away that coat from her.” Andy swallowed, the tears she hadn’t yet allowed herself to cry suddenly starting to fall freely from her eyes when she finally spoke aloud what had been gripping everything so tight inside her for the last couple of days. 

“Our fucking scissors don’t work on our turnouts, so I used my knife...cutting at her kit like she’s some tarpaulin or something, trying to find the hole that’s causing all her blood to be on the street not in her where it’s supposed to be...” Andy swallowed, tilting her head back, eyes still closed, smelling the greenness of the plants, her mind full of a cascading horror show of memories which she starts to describe, like a commentator. “...the scissors work now, on her uniform, so much blood, we’re just trying to make it stop but there are too many bullets, too many holes...we’re not supposed to transport patients who aren’t stable but we got her here and…” She opened her eyes, sighing heavily, her arms feeling too heavy to lift up to her face. “And it’s still Thursday...and I haven’t slept since Tuesday because all I see is my best friend lying there, bleeding.” 

She looked across the room at Mason, seeing he was drawing again, starting to understand that if you grew up under Lane Bishop you learned not to talk about things...and while Maya had only just started to learn how to talk about all those ‘things’, Mason had managed to find a way to work through them earlier...just not with his voice. The more he drew, the more he seemed to be a little calmer now, a little more settled, like he might not constantly be about to bolt. But there was still an energy, a ‘this is temporary’ sense to his presence still.

In her chair, her cheeks still wet with the tears her arms felt too heavy to wipe away, Andy closed her eyes again, not really expecting to sleep, just hoping that perhaps, for a few minutes at least, she wouldn’t feel the warm, sticky wetness on her hands that she could only not feel when she could see Maya, see that she was whole again. The nearest she’d got to that feeling was working, having a problem to solve or a task to exhaust herself with. Vic, Warren, her...they were the only ones who had seen Maya fallen, Andy apparently screaming to Vic to get the Aid Car as she started trying to find the bullet in her friend, finding too soon there were too many bullets, too many spots that needed pressure. 

She’d broken every protocol there was in a way, not waiting for the rest of the team to come back to the street, not ordering Vic to stay on the hydrant and shut down the hose after it was punctured. She’d just seen her best friend bleeding on the street and knew she couldn’t stay there, knew she needed to be at Grey-Sloan, knew there wasn’t time...apparently, so she’d learned later, Robert and Travis had made it out in time to see her and Warren lifting Maya onto the aid car gurney and ran over in time to slam the doors on the aid car and tell Warren they’d got it covered. But Andy hadn’t known that...all Andy had known was she had to find the bullet wound, had to stop the bleeding...had to stop…

As her breathing evened out into a regular rhythm, sleep coming for the first time since she’d woken up for that fateful shift, Mason turned to a fresh page in his notebook and began to draw…


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya and Chief Sato have a chat, which includes as much detail as there's going to be about Maya's specific injuries. It's not detailed (plausible plot land, still not a doctor or a firefighter) but if you'd prefer to step over that part, stop reading when Carina leaves the room and use page find for 'what's in the kit bag' and start again from there.
> 
> Enjoy....

“Knock knock?”

“Si?” Carina, coming out of the small bathroom after ‘de-sudding’ herself, dressed in a clean set of scrubs, looked to see who was tentatively coming into Maya’s room. “Oh, Chief Sato…” She looked back at Maya, seeing she was awake and nodding. “..come in.”

“Dr DeLuca,” The Battalion Chief stepped carefully into the room, like he was concerned he was going to knock over precariously balanced china, carrying a kit bag. “Captain…”

“Chief, hi…” Maya, without thinking, tried to shift herself up the bed slightly, only to be abruptly reminded that her right arm was out of commission for a bit and she had no real strength in her abdominal muscles. “...fuck…” she gasped, going white in surprise at the sudden surge of pain coursing through her.

“Bella…” Carina immediately shot over to the left side of the bed, concerned for her girlfriend.

“I’m ok…” sighed Maya, breathing carefully, remembering just in time not to try and take a big gulp of air as that would only succeed in pissing off her ribs, which right now were the only bit of her not extra painful. “...sorry for the language Sir.”

“Swear away, I can come back?”

“Stay, please…” said Maya, taking short, shallow breaths as she squeezed Carina’s hand and willed her body to relax.

“Bene?” asked Carina quietly, starting to be able to read Maya’s winces and pained expressions, starting to understand the differences between the rude reminder of the pain she would be in if she tried to use her body and the actual pain that broke through every last defence.

“Yeah, stopped in time,” muttered Maya, the last bit of tension going from her arm. “Can you help me…” She let go of Carina’s hand and wiggled her fingers in their newly developed sign language that conveyed things like ‘I feel like I’ve slipped down the bed and feel twisted’ or ‘there’s something pulling somewhere, can you check’.

“Si.” Carina took the bed remote control and lowered the bed a little, then changed its angle so Maya was more horizontal again.

“Chief?”

“Yes Captain?”

“You might prefer to look out the window Sir.”

“Excuse me?” Chief Sato came all the way into the room, putting the kit bag down on the floor, feeling rude for being outside Maya’s field of vision.

“It’s just me and the sheet, and Carina needs to help me move…” Maya didn’t need to see his face to guess the amiable Chief was probably as red as her helmet right now. “...it’s certainly the quickest way to get an update on my injuries.”

“Oh, umm…” Blushing, he stumbled past the end of the bed and went to stand by the window, closing his eyes in case there was any sort of reflection.

“Why are you so un-American?” asked Carina quietly as she carefully folded back the top sheet and blanket and tucked it under Maya’s left arm, enabling her to see how the sheet was lying under Maya from her ribs down to the bottom of the bed, while only exposing her girlfriend’s side, seeing that Maya’s current problem was a tangle with the bottom sheet. “Umm, this is going to be a bit slow…” she warned, looking at Maya’s face for some acknowledgment that she still wanted to continue. “...it’s the bottom sheet…” They’d had one of these tangles early on after Maya woke up on the ward, and so Maya knew what Carina meant.

“It’s ok…” agreed Maya, knowing that she’d much rather it was Carina doing this than anyone else despite how, in many ways it was extremely humiliating - as much as she might want to lift her hips up and smooth the bunched sheet out from under her butt herself, she absolutely couldn’t. “...what do you mean un-American?” she asked, appreciating the distraction as Carina started methodically smoothing the sheet she was lying on, which kept getting bunched behind her hips and tangled around her feet, helping to make her feel like she was lying at a funny angle with a twist, which wasn’t the greatest feeling if you were also trying not to use any of your very angry abdominal muscles.

“Matter-of-fact about your body...when I did my research, everyone was…”

“Ah, Dr Orgasm...”

“Si.” Carina looked over her shoulder at the Chief, who appeared to be choking. “Is he…”

“Being very American?” joked Maya, biting her lip when she felt Carina very carefully work her hand underneath Maya’s hip so she could then lift her up probably no more than a millimetre so she could pull the sheet smooth again so it wasn’t wrinkled under Maya’s butt, but even that small movement reminded her about the holes in her thigh and side. “Did you tell the Chief about your research when you had coffee?”

“Ah, no.” That explained that mystery. Carina moved the top sheet so it was once again covering Maya, before moving around the bottom of the bed to the other side, picking up a pair of gloves as she passed the box at the end of the table, needing to repeat the manoeuvre they’d just done, but this time with the added challenge of the incisions and lines. “I think you have a line caught as well as the sheet…”

“Feels like it,” agreed Maya, tentatively wiggling the fingers on her right hand, testing to see how stiff they were. “As for me….oh!”

“Bella?” Carina looked worriedly at the lines, concerned she’d accidentally caught one.

“Cold…”

“Scusa.” Carina quickly picked up the small towel she kept in the bedside unit which they used to cover Maya’s chest if she was in enough of a tangle she was going to be uncovered for more than a moment, remembering just in time they had an audience and, despite Maya’s matter-of-factness about her body, it probably was better if Carina didn’t comment about how responsive her girlfriend’s nipples were. “Bene bellissima?”

Compared to checking the sheet under the left side of Maya’s body, due to the incisions and lines, the sheets had to be folded back the full length of the bed, down to Maya’s shins. She’d taken to flicking the sheet and blanket back in a big arc so it lifted away from the whole length of Maya’s incisions and lines, as trying to fold it back in a more measured way had caused Maya discomfort as it was virtually impossible for Carina to do it without at some point brushing against either a line or a dressing. But the downside of the flick technique was if it was too successful, it did not only expose a lot of Maya to the relative coolness of the air in one go, but it also created its own air current, compounding the surprise.

“Thanks.” Maya closed her eyes, trying not to think about what the various lines and things were that she occasionally felt pulling at her abdomen when they got a bit twisted, grateful instead that Carina was able to help her out so easily rather than having to constantly be calling a nurse. “Probably around the time of my first national trials…”

“Eh?”

“The un-Americanness. You saw my race kit?”

“Si, the bikini.”

“Yeah, so that didn’t exactly hide much, but after I’d made the national squads, the anti-doping gets super-strict.”

“Anti-doping...oh, drugs?” Carina was listening as she concentrated on creating the tiny space underneath her girlfriend’s hips to be able to smooth the sheet, a movement made all the more delicate because of the incisions which, despite being dressed, were a very stark reminder to Carina how close this had been to something very different.

“Yeah. Nothing like being almost too tired to stand after running 10k and having to pee in a cup in front of a load of people with clipboards alongside everyone you’ve just beaten.”

“Si...but probably worse if you’ve been beaten?” asked Carina slightly distracted as she was now looking at the lines and drains as she sorted out the slight tangle, trying to remember what Teddy had said she was expecting ‘normal postoperative’ to look like for the procedures Maya had had, as if she was Carina’s patient, it would be a little strange.

“If you’re worried, get the nurse to get Teddy…” reminded Maya quietly, picking up on Carina’s slowness, knowing they’d already had a small disagreement the first time Maya had been tangled up and not told Carina, not wanting to make her girlfriend ‘play doctor’.

“I am not worried, I am forgetful,” corrected Carina, remembering what Teddy had told her finally. “It all looks perfect.” She smoothed the sheet, taking care not to knock any of the medical equipment. “Do you still feel twisted?”

“No. Thank you.”

“Va bene.” Carina finished tucking the sheet and blanket carefully around Maya and then leaning down and kissing her - not the kiss she’d been planning on when she’d promised Maya a kiss after she’d de-sudded, but a very good kiss that left both of them feeling more grounded and calmer again. As much as Carina was missing their kisses full of energy and passion, she had a new found appreciation for these slower, calmer kisses that were overflowing with an emotional intensity and loving tenderness. “Mmm...that maybe better than sex…” she whispered teasingly as they finally let the other one’s lips go.

“That sounds like a challenge…”

“Scientific experiment,” promised Carina, straightening up and trying not to let her discomfort show. She was used to standing for long periods of time, looking down at her patients, but that was a different angle to the one she needed to be at to kiss Maya...but this would change again in a day or so.

“You can come back now Chief,” called out Maya as Carina moved back around the bed to the left side and used the bed controls to raise Maya’s upper body the small amount her abdomen could cope with, then tilted the whole bed up a little to make it easier for her to see the Chief.

“Si, sit this side please,” said Carina kindly but firmly, gesturing to the chair she generally sat in, knowing that was positioned in the best place for Maya to see whoever was visiting. Then she headed for the far side of the room where there was a basin, so she could wash her hands.

“Carina’s research earned her the hospital nickname of ‘Dr Orgasm’,” explained Maya, deciding that was as good a place as any. “And she’s rather used to Americans being a bit prudish.” Maya rubbed the end of her nose with her left hand, discovering her hair had fallen onto her face, tickling it, so she tucked it away behind her ear as best she could, really not liking the idea of sneezing any more than she did laughing at the moment.

“I think I heard about that,” admitted Sato, turning around to include Carina in the conversation. “Wasn’t it trying to understand more about a hormone that’s potentially a pain reliever?” His youngest nephew was almost four, the youngest child of Sato’s youngest brother, and his sister-in-law was a doctor and done a lot of reading, and sharing of random facts.

“Si, oxytocin is produced by the body during childbirth, but that is a very bad time to ask a woman to have an MRI.” Carina paused, having never actually put the two together before. “But it would be fascinating, maybe the early contractions…” She bit her lip and made a mental note to think about that again when, well, who knew when.

“Having been the emergency birth partner for my sister-in-law when my brother was stuck at a scene, I can see how that wouldn’t work. Where did the name come from?”

“Because the other time the body produces oxytocin is at orgasm, and that is something it is possible to do in an MRI.” Carina finished drying her hands. “It made me realise that Americans and Italians are…” She shrugged. “...different in how we talk about certain things.”

“And I’m at the Italian end it seems.”

“Aren’t most firefighters?” asked Sato, feeling he’d not sufficiently explained himself. “I mean, we do rather live in each others’ pockets.”

“Si, but you are still little boys when it comes to the female body.” Carina looked at Maya. “I would like to get a coffee, do you want me to stay away…”

“No, you’re fine,” smiled Maya, looking at the Chief. “Are you here long enough for a coffee Sir?”

“You don’t need to go Doctor…”

“Aie...così tante estremità sbagliate di così tanti bastoni...ti amo bella.” And, shaking her head in amusement at the Chief’s nervousness, Carina left, sensing from the fact that she’d asked Sato if he wanted a coffee that her girlfriend would be fine without her now she had company for a few minutes.

“Er...did I…”

“Do something wrong? No Sir.” Maya’s nose twitched, still feeling the lingering tickle of her hair. “I’m not able to eat or drink anything. It’s easier for me if you sit on that side since my injuries are on my right side, but it’s also...less awkward for us both that way. Down there…” Maya gestured carefully with her left hand towards the right hand side of the bed. “There’s lines and things doing everything my insides can’t do themselves at the moment.” She let her left arm rest back on the bed, checking the top edge of the sheet was sufficiently high enough up her chest to avoid slipping down. “She worries that drinking a coffee in front of me is mean.”

“Oh.” He looked self-consciously at the creases at the knees of his pants, feeling unsure whether he could ask his next question or not.

“She’ll be back in a few minutes with a coffee for you too. It’s fine, really.” Maya waited until he was looking up at her. “Seriously, I can barely touch my nose without wincing, so not having to worry about moving my arm about to eat and drink is actually a relief.” She paused, wondering if there was a more fundamental problem than just him feeling a bit awkward around her, meaning she completely missed his shock at hearing her admit to being happy not moving. “What do you know? About my injuries I mean?” She honestly had no idea where to start this conversation.

“Not much Captain…

“Maya.”

“Huh?”

“The team call me Maya when we’re off shift and I’m…” She glanced down the bed at herself, “...definitely not in uniform…”

  
  


“George.”

“Hmm?” He almost laughed at her surprise, catching himself in time as that felt as mean as eating.

“We’re allowed to keep our first names when we make Battalion Chief, it’s just everyone forgets to use them.” He saw her smile and nod, so continued. “I arrived here just after you had gone into the operating theatre with your, uh, service record, then went to, uh the scene and was there most of the night.”

“Oh?” 

Maya had automatically translated ‘service record’ into what it really was, which was the Fire Department’s ‘In Case of…’ file, which contained their basic medical notes like blood type and allergies, as well as next of kin and whether they had any DNR requests. Fortunately, she’d submitted a new one shortly after she and Carina had got back together, replacing Andy with Carina and had shown the form to Carina before she’d sent it in, so there hadn’t been anything that could have surprised Carina in it. But she’d forgotten it would be him that had to bring it in.

“The Chief called in our investigation teams…” In hindsight, that had not helped the tensions, since it meant the Fire Department had control of the evidence and scene, but given the way the tensions escalated, it still felt like the right decision. “How much do you know?” he asked, not sure where to begin either.

“Umm, how about I start?” She saw him nod. “Ok, so I know there’s an investigation, but some way down the street shots fired and...somehow I ended up with one in my right shoulder…” Technically it was her collar bone, and her shoulder was uninjured which was hugely significant for her long term recovery, but given how she was strapped up and where the stitches were, it felt like her shoulder was where Link had been fixing her. “One breaking a rib, umm…” Maya glanced down at herself, mentally ticking off her injuries. “...apparently one hit me just above the clasp on my pants and broke another rib…” she continued, not mentioning the one which hit the clasp that attached the suspenders on her turnout pants to the pants themselves and apparently had therefore not made it into her body but had given her a very impressive bruised kidney. It was apparently only when Bailey had seen Maya’s turnouts that she worked out for Teddy why there was a broken rib and very bruised kidney adjacent to each other - they were two separate injuries. “Another one below the waistband of my pants, then two more apparently hit my appendix so I got a free appendectomy…” She saw his eyebrows raise. “Yeah, who knew that could happen?” She stopped to count. “One in my quad and one was apparently a very small fraction of an inch away from meaning I could never have kids.” She looked at him with a wry smile. “Which was the scariest one if I’m honest.”

“Oh, yes…” He’d clearly not done a particularly good job of hiding his surprise based on her smile, having got the sense from her team over the last couple of days that she’d not exactly been the bookies favourite for a long-term relationship, nevermind kids.

“Not because of the kids thing,” said Maya easily, not remotely fazed by that aspect of the issue.

She’d not grown up dreaming of having kids, nor had she yet discovered any deeply buried maternal desire. Plus, if she was blunt with herself, she’d always assumed that if she were to become remotely maternal, there were multiple ways of becoming a parent and being the pregnant one was not near the top of her hypothetical prioritisation list. However all of that was entirely irrelevant as, should she ever get to thinking about kids in even a semi-serious way, she’d only think about it with Carina, making it a joint decision not ‘hers’ to make in isolation. 

“Though I understand why people would think that. But, umm, Carina’s boss is skiing in Whistler, so Carina’s the senior OBGYN for the hospital just now, whether she’s on call or not.” Maya bit her lip, struck by a new thought. “Not sure what they’d have done if, well...Teddy I’m sure..” she mumbled, deciding she didn’t need to think about what they’d have done if she had needed Carina’s skillset, as she knew from how strictly Bailey and Teddy had made sure to remind Carina and Andrew they could only read Maya’s chart as a courtesy that Carina treating her would have been totally out of the question.

Privately, Maya suspected that this would perhaps be the final straw for Bailey and the others. Maya had never met Carina’s theoretical boss, and knew Carina thought of Bailey as her boss, but her hunch that there would soon be a OBGYN Head vacancy had formed a while back when Teddy had said it was significant that Amelia, Bailey and Teddy herself had all wanted Carina as their OB, not their fellow Department Head...but that was a whole different conversation for another time.

“Ah.” His expression changed, showing Maya that he now got why she’d found the news of what that particular bullet might have done the most horrifying. “That would have been very difficult for you both,” he agreed quietly. He’d, prior to just now, only met the Doctor twice - once on Christmas Day when he’d stopped by the Station to let her know that the team from 42 who had been obstructive when she’d been delivering twins on Christmas Eve in their Aid Car at Grey Sloan had been suspended ahead of disciplinary hearings that were going to end in dismissal, while the second had been on Tuesday morning, only a couple of hours before the shooting, when she’d accepted his request to meet her to officially offer the Department’s apologies for both the situation with Station 42 and the errors made by Dispatch when she was at Station 19.

“Yeah, but instead it was just a…” Maya double checked her maths. “...4th bullet in the abdomen.” She looked down at herself, mentally counting up the various incisions and bruises. “So that’s 8 bullets that Teddy, er Dr Altman and the others took out of me in surgery, apparently another three in my turnouts which explain the bruised kidney, bruised ribs between the broken collarbone and higher broken rib and ankle...and I think I have my helmet to thank for catching another two?” 

She didn’t really know what had happened with her bruised ribs and ankle, the theory Teddy and Miranda had come up with when they’d seen photos of Maya’s full uniform and kit that Maya herself hadn’t seen and didn’t want to see, was that another bullet had hit her radio, shattering it and it was the radio breaking up that bruised her ribs and chest. Which was infinitely preferable to a twice broken collarbone or worse, a punctured lung. There was apparently another bullet hole down in her pants by her ankle, which might explain the swelling there, but Maya’s theory was it just twisted badly as she fell, since it was her weaker one, though she was keeping quiet about that at the moment given how many doctors she had hovering over her.

“Nothing’s stopping me returning to duty…” she added, suddenly worried that was why he was there.

“That’s what I’d been told too, but you take your time.” His grin turned more like Tuck’s when he was trying to sneak extra cookies at the station rather than a Chief’s. “Drs…” He took a breath and started to count off on his fingers, “...Altman, Bailey, Hunt, Grey, Lincoln and...damn, I’ve forgotten one…”

“Avery?” He shook his head. “Shepherd?” Maya didn’t think Amelia would have an official opinion about her return to duty potential, but knew that didn’t necessarily stop the energetic neurosurgeon from offering her opinion, though his headshake indicated she’d resisted this time. “Umm…” Maya was struggling to think of who else might have ventured an opinion on her, finding the list he’d already mentioned quite overwhelming although she had at least seen all of them since her operation. “...Pierce?”

“You’re right… Drs Altman, Bailey, Hunt, Grey, Pierce and Lincoln all have made it very clear to the Chief that nothing stops you returning to active duty but to back the hell off until you’re ready.”

“Paraphrased?” asked Maya for the second time today, suspecting she was about to get the same answer.

“Not by much, and we agreed.” He saw her start to tense, so quickly continued. “Can I be rude and give you some unsolicited advice please?” At her nod and, if not total relaxation, at least cessation of increasing tension in her jaw, George Sato continued speaking fairly quickly. “Rush yourself back now and you’ll be lucky to still be Captain when you’re 50, but take the time now, the time no one’s going to fight you on, and you’ll be Chief when you’re 50 if you want it, and I’m not talking the sort with Battalion on their helmet.”

“Oh.” 

Not sure how to take that very explicit statement of how much ambition she should have, Maya cast around for something to change the topic to, discovering she wanted Carina’s company and strength when it came to asking him about the scene. 

“What’s in the kit bag Sir?” She couldn’t yet manage George, but she’d try and avoid ‘Chief’ at least.

“Oh, yes…” He got to his feet and went around to it, taking her explanation about her left vs right sides and coming back around to the chair before he began. “...Herrera gave me your backpack to bring down…” he opened the bag and pulled out the orange and grey backpack which he understood contained mostly fairly redundant things now like a water bottle and some running kit. “...it’s got your wallet and cell phone…” He put it down again, neatly by the side of the chair, hoping Dr DeLuca would be back soon enough that she could go through it and retrieve the useful bits. “...and the rest is some stuff that was delivered to the station for you but no one was quite sure what it was for, so I thought I’d ask…”

“Oh?” Maya started trying to remember what she’d ordered that might confuse Andy or Jack to the point they couldn’t guess what it was supposed to be for.

“Uniform orders? A couple of t-shirts, couple of shirts with your nametape and some…”

“...some shirts with Emmett on them, yeah.” She remembered now. “I wasn’t expecting them so soon...wait, what day is it?”

“Thursday. New Year’s Eve. They came this morning”

“Ah, then that does make sense.” Maya’s nose twitched again, the urge to sneeze still stronger than she’d like. “I lost a day somewhere…” she realised, deciding it didn’t matter - she’d only had a vague grasp on what day of the week it was before all this happened anyway, thanks to the confusion Christmas always caused. “...I ordered the extra shirts for me since I lost two with the puppies…”

“Oh, I remember them,” he grinned - he’d seen them briefly when he’d stopped by on Christmas Day morning, then seen them properly in pictures over breakfast by the team this morning. “They looked a bit small to be chewing uniforms.”

“They are...it’s an idea the shelter people have - since they seemed to bond with Carina especially, they want to keep the puppies familiar with our smell I guess, but because they’re going to be in the Station a fair bit, they’d like to get them used to the uniform colour too.”

“What a clever idea…” mused Sato, even more glad now than he’d already been to sign off the authorisation for the dogs to be able to come into the Station at the right age.

“Yeah, but it meant I lost two uniform shirts when the puppies were collected by the foster dog owner. Seemed easiest to order myself two extras…” plus, she’d worked out at the time, that if Carina was taking a liking to her uniform shirts then having an extra one or two wouldn’t hurt. “Rather forward thinking given what happened to my third shirt and t-shirt I’m guessing…” She’d not thought about that until now, but given the holes in her, she imagined that particular set of uniform wasn’t going to ever be worn again - certainly her turnouts and helmet were going to need replacing. “The others are…” Maya looked past him to the window, which was suddenly being lashed with wet snow as the weather turned again, trying to work out how to explain. “...a hunch.”

“Ah.” He looked back at the bag. “So you don’t want me to give them to him?”

“Depends…” Maya looked at him. “...how comfortable are you calling former Chief Dixon an 'asshat'?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> così tante estremità sbagliate di così tanti bastoni...ti amo bella - so many wrong ends of so many sticks ...I love you beautiful.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Carina gets quite cross in Italian...but not at Maya *g*.  
> Enjoy... and thanks as always for the wonderful comments and kudos. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

“I’d settle for the cart here…” said Meredith, shaking her white coat out, deciding it had managed to protect her from most of the sudden sleet.

“Bene…” Carina nodded, deciding no coffee was worth the risk of pneumonia, and headed for the line for the cart that served the second best coffee in the hospital complex. She was surprised when Meredith followed her, finding she generally had conversations with her at the hospital about Andrea. “...c'è un problema con mio fratello?”

“Hmm?” Meredith had followed Carina to the coffee cart line, deciding a fresh cup would help warm her up. “Andrew? No, he’s fine.” Belatedly, her brain informed her that Carina had asked her question in Italian. “You know you’re speaking Italian to me?”

“Ah.” Carina looked down at her sneakers, checking the laces were tied as she tucked her hair behind her ear, regretting not having her own white coat or, better yet, one of Maya’s warm outdoor fleece things to combat the chilly air that came into the lobby every time the automatic doors opened. “No. Sorry…” She managed to just about catch her yawn, shaking her head to try and wake herself up. “...I’m…”

“Don’t worry,” said Meredith amenably, pulling her into a one armed hug. “You’re doing incredibly well. You both are.” They stepped forward, keeping pace with the queue. “I met her brother earlier.”

“Si? Come Amelia?”

“No, Andy Herrera.” Meredith decided it was easier to let Carina talk to her in whatever language she wanted to, though her own preoccupation with watching who was coming and going through the lobby meant her side of their conversation stayed in English. “She asked me for directions to the plant room.” Another shuffled half step forwards, though disappointedly, not because the queue was shorter in length, just more efficiently spaced. “She looks like she’s not sleeping.”

“Si...Andy e Ben Warren erano i paramedici con Maya…”

“Oh, I’m so sorry…” Meredith wanted to kick herself for accidentally bringing up the one thing she’d been trying not to bring up after her initial compliment. “I didn’t think.”

“THERE YOU ARE!” 

The loud shout echoed around the lobby, stopping everyone’s conversations.

At the rude man’s shout, Carina mouthed a ‘wow’ to Meredith, rolling her eyes and took the automatic small step forwards when the queue advanced again, the person at the head of the line collecting their coffee. Since she wasn’t on shift, hadn’t any idea about her patients and wasn’t wearing a doctor’s coat, Carina assumed the rude man was targeting his focus and fury on Meredith or one of the dozen or so other doctors that must be in the lobby currently.

“HEY! I’m talking to you!”

The loud voice became louder and closer, making Carina sufficiently curious to see who was the unlucky victim of this rude person, so she half turned around, wrapping her arms across her front as she did, trying to keep her forearms and hands warm as yet another icy blast came through the doors. She really needed to find something with sleeves the next time she left Maya’s warm room.

“YOU! Why the devil are you down here instead of doing your damn job?”

“Scusa?” Carina’s jaw dropped, not expecting that out of everyone in the lobby it was she who this palloncino gonfiato di un uomo was yelling at.

“I knew we were being given the run around by that other doctor, not that I believed them before, the first time when they said you were the best, I mean…” Clearly whatever he meant was sufficiently derogatory he decided it was better to not say, or more likely, he just held her in sufficient contempt for whatever reason she didn’t warrant an explanation. “But…” 

“Sir, excuse me Sir, but I must ask you…” 

Meredith, like Carina, had been momentarily wrong-footed when it became clear who his anger was directed at, though unlike Carina her confusion had been in part because she’d recognised him, so had actually assumed he’d be yelling at her. Not that she had been his doctor, but given the choice of a Board Director and an OBGYN Attending, she’d rather presumed she’d be the Mayor’s more obvious target. But given how he was looking at Carina and lecturing her, Meredith was getting ready to fire back, she just couldn’t connect why the widowed Mayor could have a medical relationship with Carina.

“...but I expect my daughter to have the best. So get back up there and damn well do your job!”

At the mention of his daughter and the repeated insistence about wanting ‘the best’, pieces of two separate jigsaw pieces dropped into place for Carina.

“Non parlarmi di fare il mio lavoro, palloncino gonfio di un uomo. Non sono al lavoro oggi, non ieri e probabilmente non da qualche settimana perché la tua stupida polizia ossessionata dalle armi non può fare il suo lavoro.” She paused long enough to draw breath before she continued, completely oblivious to the audience she was drawing, but then there weren’t many opportunities to see an animated Sicilian say what she really thought to the Mayor. 

“Tua figlia è una signora adorabile che non ha bisogno che tu faccia il prepotente con i suoi medici, che sono perfettamente in grado di eseguire il controllo che hai insistito fosse fatto di nuovo perché tu, non tua figlia, ma devi conoscere il sesso di suo figlio.” She turned, hearing her name called, and took her coffee from the barista with a smile and a quiet grazie when she waved away Carina’s offered bill. 

“Quindi stai zitto, siediti e aspetta che tua figlia, che ti ha chiaramente detto di andare all'inferno piuttosto che stressarla, venga di sotto e magari ti parli di suo figlio. E non urlarmi più contro, piccolo idiota arrabbiato. Grida a quella merda bugiarda e corrotta Dixon! Scusa e addio Meredith.” And, with a small nod at her friend, and looking straight past the Mayor, she calmly walked towards the elevators.

“What the…”

“Roughly translated Mr Mayor, and forgive me if my Italian is a little rusty…” observed Meredith with almost excessive sweetness, inside cheering loudly for Carina, “...the gist of that was please take a seat until your daughter’s extra scan has been completed by one of Dr DeLuca’s associates. And a piece of advice from me? Refrain from questioning her commitment or work ethic ever again in my hospital. And know that this is your final warning. Treat anyone like that in this hospital again and you will not be allowed to return.”

“She swore at me!”

“At you sir? I don’t believe so.”

“How dare you defend her…”

“Defend her speaking the truth Sir? About how you take exception to her not seeing patients because her partner’s a patient here, recovering from having eight police department bullets removed from her body on Tuesday night?”

“What? That’s…” His jaw went slack, looking at Meredith with the colour disappearing rapidly from his face.

“...what happened to Captain Bishop? Yes Sir. Dr DeLuca’s partner. So you can appreciate why she didn’t appreciate your remarks.” Meredith was relieved to see the reassuring sight of some of the hospital’s security staff standing behind him. “Now Sir, I’m sure you’d like to take Dr DeLuca’s advice and have a seat in your car while you wait for your daughter. These gentlemen will see you are not delayed and...oh, thank you Gerry, yes, they’ve got umbrellas so you don’t get snowed on. I’ll make sure your daughter knows where you are.” And, turning to pay for Carina’s coffee, as well as collect her own, Meredith finally allowed herself to breathe again.

“He’s gone Doctor Grey…” whispered the barista, handing Meredith her change, only to have it given back to her in the tips jar. “...thank you.”

“Thanks.” Picking up her coffee, Meredith headed off in the opposite direction to the doors, deciding she’d maybe go to the plant room and, if Herrera and Mason weren’t there, just clear her head for a minute or two. However, before she’d even made it three steps, her phone pinged. Sighing, she reached for it, unlocking the screen to read the text message on autopilot.

_ Shame we didn’t have popcorn.  _

_ If you don’t do a proper translation I’ll ask Andrew.  _

_ Can’t claim you don’t remember it, Teddy recorded it. _

Turning around, Meredith scanned the rising staircases, laughing when she saw the little group of Amelia, Teddy and Miranda stood together, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths.

Looking down at her phone screen, she typed in a reply.

_ She’ll be mortified, someone needs to go see her. _

_ I’m going to the plant room - think that’s where Andy H and Mason are. _

By the time she reached the elevators, she’d had another message.

_ T and MB gone to C and M. They are - see in the plant room. _

* * *

“Mamma mia…sono così stupido, cosa stavo pensando?” She shut the door to Maya’s room and leaned against it, sighing heavily, banging her head fairly gently against the wood.

“Carina?” Maya interrupted Sato, who had been gently telling her some of the lighter side of Fire Department life these last few weeks, mid word when Carina had come in, only for her behaviour to immediately concern Maya, who wanted to go over to her, but of course couldn’t. “Carina?”

“Dr DeLuca?” George Sato, picking up on Maya’s frustration and fairly concerned himself, stood up and went over to her. “Dr DeLuca, what happened?” he asked, ushering her over to the chair he’d been sitting in, only to change his careful steering of her when he saw Maya indicate she wanted the doctor to sit on the bed.

“Carina? English…I need you to find your English for me to help...” Maya looked for her backpack, remembering he’d said it had her phone in it, thinking that worse case they’d have to ring Andrew to get him to translate.

“Hmm?” Blinking, Carina looked at the coffee cup, like she had no idea where she’d got it from, not objecting when Chief Sato took it from her hand. “Mamma mia…” she groaned, picking up Maya’s hand, squeezing it then kissing it.

“What happened?”

“Umm…” Carina bit her lip, then hearing the noise of Chief picking up his coat, turned. “Chief Sato? You should stay please…” Carina waited a moment until he sat down, then turned back to Maya. “I just yelled at the Mayor.”

“You what?” asked Maya, having to immediately concentrate on keeping herself still and relatively calm, not wanting to distract this unexpected new development in their lives with a pain attack. “Where?”

“In the lobby, the line for coffee. It was bad.”

“How bad?”

“Genius level brilliant,” said a new voice, coming into the room. “Oh, hello.”

“Dr Altman? Dr Bailey!” “Rising to his feet again, he came around the end of the bed and shook hands with Teddy and Miranda.

It took Carina and Maya a moment to connect how the Chief knew the doctors, finally remembering they’d all come to the Station in the PRT, and of course, Miranda had known him before that.

“Teddy, don’t tease…” implored Carina, her fury at the nastiness of the man now replaced with mortification.

“I’m not,” said Teddy, deciding that she should probably discharge her professional duty before her gossiping one, so picked up Maya’s chart to see how she was doing. “Here…” She dug her phone out of her pocket as she looked at the chart, passing it to Bailey. “Allison’s birthday.”

“May 16,” said Carina.

“You’re so annoying when you do that…” grumbled Teddy, not looking up from the obs readings and other updates on Maya’s chart, finding like Amelia did, Carina’s ability to have near total recall of details about certain births she’d been involved in.

“What happened?” asked Maya, struggling to not explode with something, though whether it was curiosity or frustration was debatable.

“She yelled at the Mayor in the lobby…” said Bailey, having previously decided some time ago that Sato was ‘one of them’. “...and Meredith was standing next to her and didn’t stop her.”

“You yelled at the Mayor?”

“Si, in Italiano,” mumbled Carina, wishing she could hide under the bed. “...I’m sorry bella…”

“But Meredith speaks Italian right?”

“Si…”

“Then you clearly said something she agreed with...can you remember what you said?” asked Maya, trying not to look too gleeful at the idea of her girlfriend’s temper being unleashed on the Mayor.

“She doesn’t have to…” said Miranda, finding the video on Teddy’s phone, she can translate…”

“Nooo….”

“Siiiii….” teased Maya, squeezing Carina’s hand, knowing she shouldn’t be delighting in the Mayor being told some home truths, but based on what Chief Sato had been telling her about the last couple of days, she wasn’t feeling all that kindly disposed towards the Mayor.

“Bene…” sighed Carina, knowing giving in was the quickest way of ending this phase of her embarrassment. She pressed play, wincing when she heard the echoing recording of her own shouting. Pausing it, she sighed. “He’d been in, si, Sunday, with his daughter for her scan…”

“I remember, he walked past us and wished us Happy Christmas…” remembered Maya, her eyebrows shooting up. “That’s his daughter?”

“Si, the mother was very beautiful…” agreed Carina, knowing what Maya was thinking. “She, the daughter is tall and…” She grinned in spite of her embarrassment, realising she could use a new piece of English she’d learned earlier. “...like your brother would say, at least a 12.”

“Mas taught you that? When? Why?”

“When? You were asleep, why? Because apparently I am a 15.”

“Mas?”

“Her little brother,” explained Miranda, filling in the gap for Sato, who winced, all too easily able to picture what a big sister’s opinion might be. “So the Mayor’s daughter was in for an appointment with you a couple of days ago…” she summarised, wanting to keep them on the topic that got them to the bit where Carina yelled at the Mayor.

“Si, and at her appointment the bambini was shy and the Mayor is not pleased. Just now, they are back for another scan to see discover the sex of the baby and he is in the lobby.”

“He yelled at her from across the lobby, like he could order her back to her job like a city worker,” said Miranda indignantly, only to realise her error. “No offence.”

“None taken Doctor, we’re not city workers are we Captain?”

“No Chief, too dirty for the likes of them.”

“When he mentioned his daughter and insisting the best but not believing I was the best I recognised him and knew he was talking to me not Meredith….ah, she’s on the Board, Dr Grey?”

“Kind of like how I assume people are shouting at you, not me at scenes Sir.”

Carina played the video for a few seconds, pausing it.

“Come on DeLuca, stop holding out…” insisted Miranda, nudging Teddy to pay attention. “I know she missed the first bit, but what did you say?”

“Ah…” Carina went back to the beginning and closed her eyes, trying to listen like it was an abstract language exercise rather than herself. “... _ fare il mio lavoro, palloncino gonfio di un uomo... _ Do not tell me to do my job you…” she paused, trying to work out what the literal Italian meant in terms of idioms. “...stuffed shirt of a man?” At Miranda’s whoop and hand clap Carina decided she must have that right, so played a little bit more.  _ “Non sono al lavoro oggi, non ieri e probabilmente non da qualche settimana perché la tua stupida polizia ossessionata dalle armi non può fare il suo lavoro... _ I’m not at work yesterday, today or a few weeks because your stupid gun obsessed police can’t do their jobs.”

“A few weeks?”

“Shush,” said Teddy, sending Maya a pointed look. Now was not the moment for her workaholic tendency and resistance to being loved by Carina to surface. “Not the important part of that sentence.”

Carina played a bit more of the video, cringing when she heard what she said.

“Then I said what I already told you, that his daughter was lovely and would be fine with the doctors she had, but that the scan was basically for his ego not hers because he needed to know her baby’s gender.” She played the final bit, already very aware of what she’d said without needing to play it back. “Then I told him to shut up and sit down and wait for his daughter who had clearly told him to go to hell because he stressed her.” She handed the phone back to Teddy. “Oh, and told him he was an angry little idiot who must not yell at me again, but to instead yell Dixon…”

“That’s not all you said…” challenged Teddy, distinctly remembering some extra words attached to the ‘Dixon’ part of her sentence.

“...who I might have said was a corrupt lying shit.”

“Amelia wants you to give her warning next time so she can get popcorn.”

“I think we could sell tickets for a fundraiser,” agreed Bailey, knowing Carina was embarrassed but agreeing with Maya’s original observation that Meredith had known exactly what Carina was saying and if she’d really felt it was out of line, would have been more than equal to stopping it.

“Or you can come visit me in Italy when I am fired…” muttered Carina, burying her head in Maya’s pillow.

“Has she not seen the press conferences?” asked Sato, looking at Maya, whose blank look told him everything even before Miranda explained how they’d taken the decision to only catch Maya and Carina up on the difficulties of the last two days a few hours earlier.

“I promise you, Dr DeLuca,” said the Chief kindly after he’d been caught up and Maya had persuaded Carina to sit down on the bed and not try to hide, “that what you said is probably the most accurate and least offensive thing said about Dixon and the Mayor in the last day or so.”

“But it’s not professional.”

“Maybe not, but it’s honest and as you had already said to him, you weren’t there as a doctor.”

“It is still Sharks and Jets?” asked Carina, remembering how Vic and Bailey had described it earlier, seeing Teddy’s frown and the Chief’s very blank look. “Showtunes?”

“West Side Story, based on Romeo and Juliet?” explained Bailey, not as cross with Carina’s oversimplification as Vic had been when Maya had originally said it, but only slightly less cross. “And yes, at least…”

“I heard,” said Sato quietly, appreciating the lengths Miranda had gone to to ensure that 19 could maintain the traditional station vigil while they waited for news on Maya.

“Show me.”

“Mmm?”

“Show me, give me your phone Teddy, someone…” insisted Maya, starting to move her right hand in her frustration, stirring Teddy and Miranda into action, though it was Sato who actually produced his phone and handed it over to Maya.

“There...I asked for the team at headquarters to put it all together for you…” He paused, the phone hovering between him and Maya, glancing to Teddy and Miranda. “...is it alright…” At their nods, he handed it over to Maya, understanding that they’d known this was the inevitable reaction and they’d somehow managed to plan for it. “It’s about ten minutes, you mind if I go get a coffee? Doctors?” 

Excusing himself at their headshakes, he went out to get some fresh air, wondering what her reaction would be by the time he got back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Si...Andy e Ben Warren erano i paramedici con Maya… - Yes....Andy and Ben Warren were the paramedics with Maya
> 
> palloncino gonfiato di un uomo - stuffed shirt of a man [literally inflated balloon of a man, but Carina's managed to think in idiom]
> 
> Non parlarmi di fare il mio lavoro, palloncino gonfio di un uomo. Non sono al lavoro oggi, non ieri e probabilmente non da qualche settimana perché la tua stupida polizia ossessionata dalle armi non può fare il suo lavoro. - Don't talk to me about doing my job, you stuffed shirt of a man. I'm not at work today, not yesterday, and probably not for a few weeks because your stupid gun-obsessed police can't do their job.
> 
> Tua figlia è una signora adorabile che non ha bisogno che tu faccia il prepotente con i suoi medici, che sono perfettamente in grado di eseguire il controllo che hai insistito fosse fatto di nuovo perché tu, non tua figlia, ma devi conoscere il sesso di suo figlio - Your daughter is a lovely lady, who doesn't need you to bully her doctors who are perfectly capable of performing the checkup you insisted on having done again because you, not your daughter, but you, need to know her child's sex.
> 
> Quindi stai zitto, siediti e aspetta che tua figlia, che ti ha chiaramente detto di andare all'inferno piuttosto che stressarla, venga di sotto e magari ti parli di suo figlio. E non urlarmi più contro, piccolo idiota arrabbiato. Grida a quella merda bugiarda e corrotta Dixon! Scusa e addio Meredith - So shut up, sit down and wait for your daughter, who clearly told you to go to hell rather than stress her out, come downstairs and maybe tell you about her child. And don't yell at me anymore, you angry little idiot. Shout at that lying corrupt shit Dixon! Sorry and goodbye Meredith'
> 
> sono così stupido, cosa stavo pensando - 'I'm so stupid, what was I thinking...'


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the first of a few that approach a little bit of the background for Maya's injuries. I took my cue from canon's positioning that the police, under Dixon's leadership/control have problems. Fundamentally however, this is still a fic about a fire captain (rather battered and bruised) loving her doctor and slowly approaching a moment when they get to adopt some puppies (No, haven't forgotten them). Given that I do not know what it's like to live in a country with a police force armed by default at the best of times, never mind in the current complex climate where COVID makes everything more...more, I have stuck to what I know, which is that eternal classic (as Dixon was established as in show canon from the outset of s3) of what happens when people think they are above the rules and regulations, and have enough control/grip on an organisation to compel the good to be compromised over time until they are no longer behaving like they think they are. That's a universal problem....it's just in some countries the problem has firearms mixed into it as well as everything else. 
> 
> There should be nothing trigger-warning warranting in this chapter as everyone talks around the details... instead it's just doctors learning about firefighting and somewhere (maybe not this chapter though) there will be the inevitable Amelia threesome invitation joke *g*.

"Bailey? Can you pass me that file please?" asked Maya when the video of press conference clips finished, the silence hanging heavily in the room.

"Bella?" asked Carina quietly, intercepting the file, knowing Maya was going to struggle to manage it all with just her left hand. "What are you thinking?" 

"That something doesn’t make sense…can you help me find the scene plan in there?" Teddy, curious as to what Maya was thinking, took the file from Carina and opened it, looking for what Maya wanted, only to be confronted with all sorts of forms and diagrams and photographs. 

"What is this?" 

"It should be the scene report…" Maya, in spite of the seriousness of everything, and her rapidly increasing tiredness, grinned at the looks of surprise on Miranda and Teddy's faces. "It's just the fire version of your charts, we're not just muscles and hoses you know." 

"Si," agreed Carina, kissing her girlfriend, her equilibrium returning slowly, but also as belated 'reward' for letting them help her. "You also have ladders."

"Yes we do," agreed Maya, just managing to remember not to laugh in time. 

"Is this it?" asked Miranda, handing over a piece of paper. 

"Is there another one? That's like this but has the house smaller?" She turned the piece of paper around and put it on the blanket over her left hip, the single sheet not causing any discomfort. "This is the scene plan for when we were dealing with the fire, but the Chief said the department investigators included the police scene too, which was down here somewhere." She gestured in the direction of her right knee. 

"Umm…" Miranda put the file down on the table that was across the bottom of the bed and went through the papers methodically while Carina and Teddy looked at the plan in Maya's lap with interest. 

**“** What are the heavy dotted lines?”

“Hoses, the ‘H’ is the hydrant,” said Maya, closing her eyes and just concentrating on the feeling of Carina’s fingers rubbing patterns on her knuckles as she held her hand. “The thicker the line the bigger the hose.”

“You don’t draw this do you?”

“Mmm?” She opened her eyes and looked at Teddy. “Kinda. That’s the after-scene neat version. There’s a sort of…” She chewed her lip, trying to think of a way of explaining to Teddy and Carina, who was looking at the plan with interest, how it worked. “...I guess it’s like a firefighters version of Google Maps? I...do you want to see if there’s a tablet in that bag?” she asked Carina, nodding towards the kit bag the Chief had brought with him, not entirely sure he’d have brought one with him, fairly certain he probably hadn’t brought her one in her backpack.

“Si...va bene?” she asked, bringing it back up for Maya to see. “Ah, no, Teddy and I will hold it, you poke.” She opened the screen cover so Maya could use the touch screen, Teddy holding the other side steady, not prepared to let Maya rest it against her body.

“Thanks…” Maya wasn’t used to typing in her username and password with her left hand, but she got there after only two tries. “...umm, there, top row, second from right. Tap that?” As Teddy did, the mapping programme opened, loading slowly like it always did on the Grey-Sloan wifi network. “See?” she said after a moment, Miranda having found the paper she wanted and now joining in this impromptu ‘fire captain’ lesson. “That’s what Grey-Sloan looks like to us...zoom out a bit? There…” Maya gave them a minute to look at the outline of the hospital building with the roads, parking lots and hydrants on it. “...there’s also gas lines, electricity and...up a bit? Bit more...there.” She reached out, glad when Carina and Teddy brought the screen a little nearer to her, enabling her to resize the screen so they could see what she wanted them to see. “Any of you know what that is?”

“No…” Carina, as Maya had thought, was the first to give up, though Teddy was not much further behind her in giving in, but that made sense with neither of them involved in running the non-surgical aspects of this hospital, unlike Bailey, though Maya would guess Teddy’s Army career had given her some hospital set up insights.

“Is it…” Miranda took the tablet from Carina and Teddy so she could look at it more closely, not surprising Maya that she was the one who got the furthest with the puzzle. “...oh, it’s the oxygen plant?”

“Yeah. And if you tap it twice…” Maya smiled when she saw Miranda’s surprise. “...because you guys are built to code and participate in your annual inspections and maintain your permits, it means we know where your oxygen lines are as well as the regular utilities when we start to look at the building blueprints.”

“What for? I mean, how do you use this?” asked Teddy, impressed.

“We use that to help us plan and run the whole scene, making marks on the system as we go that afterwards, we check and can neaten, like our hose lines become straight and our spelling is improved and end up with those print outs.” 

“When you say the whole scene?” asked Miranda, finding this more clinical side of the firefighting scene fascinating and, to her surprise, was helping her start to understand a little more about why Ben had been telling her always not to worry. “You mean…”

“Knowing where everyone and everything is inside and outside the scene, making sure that there’s always just slightly more resources to hand than we actually need…” Chief Sato came up to the foot of the bed, having arrived in time to hear Miranda’s question. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” he asked Maya, gesturing to his coffee.

“It’s fine, honestly,” she said, not in the least bit fazed. She’d been slightly humiliated by the indignity of it the first time she’d realised quite how much...plumbing she currently had attached to her, but the first time she’d accidentally moved too much she’d accepted her temporary fate. “I used your tablet to show them the mapping system.”

“Pretty cool, isn’t it?” he asked, taking the tablet from Miranda and logging Maya out while they both remembered. “Is that…”

“The whole scene? Yeah, I was just looking at it.” Maya frowned at the paper which Carina had laid out on the blanket for her again, trying to work out why it wasn’t making any sense to her.

“What have you seen?” asked Teddy, sensing Carina was struggling to look at the plan, amazed Maya could once she realised that this one included the rather blunt ‘C19’ which she presumed marked the spot where Maya had been hit by the bullets.

“I think it’s actually what you saw without realising it...look…”

* * *

  
  


“Oh…” Mason hadn’t expected to find a man sitting by his sister’s bed, reading a file while his sister and Carina slept. Since he was wearing a fire department uniform however, he hoped that Andy knew who he was. “...who’s that?”

“Chief Sato.” Andy gently pushed Mason all the way into Maya’s room, the sound of the door closing behind them attracting Sato’s attention. “Chief, hi.”

“Lieutenant.”

“Andy…” mumbled Maya, blinking, her inability to sleep when there were things to be done returning for the moment. “Call her Andy. He’s George.”

“Of course Maya,” said George Sato graciously, not begrudging her grumpiness given these were rather exceptional circumstances, looking to the man who’d been asking who he was, who looked rather like the Captain.

“Mason.” He eyed the newcomer with barely concealed suspicion.

“Mas…” warned Maya, frustrated that she couldn’t see him, but he was still too near the door and therefore too far over on her right side.

“Bella…” Carina squeezed Maya’s hand - she’d woken when Mason started talking, but took a moment before she sat up. “Mason, this is Battalion Chief Sato. He is the Chief that made the order against your father. Andy, it was at Maya’s and my request that he never spoke of the extra details.”

“Oh.”

“Ah.”

“Umm.”

“So American…” sighed Carina, knowing that if this was Italy they’d all be speaking over the top of each other already, with some degree of handshaking or greeting, but here in America...they were big people, who could sort themselves out. Standing up and pulling down her scrub shirt, she ignored their company and turned back, kissing Maya briefly but with the same tenderness that left Mason and George looking at their feet while Andy looked at the ceiling, though she was smiling in spite of Carina’s rather blunt and to the point summary of who knew what and and why. “...you did not sleep?”

“I closed my eyes.”

“Va bene…” She kissed Maya’s forehead as she straightened up. “Do you want me to explain while you close your eyes again?” At Maya’s nod, Carina squeezed her hand, then motioned for Andy and Mason to go back outside, content after their earlier conversations that Maya was comfortable enough staying in Sato’s quiet company for a few minutes, accepting now also that if she wanted to stop having the worry about Dixon and what he was trying to stir in the City, Maya had to really try and rest because then she was having her few minutes in the spotlight...

* * *

  
  


“Carina? What’s happened?” asked Andy, as soon as the three of them were in the corridor.

“She’s seen the press conferences...and my...moment.”

“Oh.”

“That was cool,” said Mason, earning him a surprised look from Carina. “From how Meredith and Amelia explained it.”

“Si?”

“We were in the plant room, they came and found us,” explained Andy, realising Carina, Maya and Sato were probably surprised she was still at the hospital. “With the engine out, Jack’s leading and I...took some time.” She ran her hand through her hair, pulling out her hair elastic and redoing it, as much to give her hands something to do as from an actual need to tidy it. “It’s been...a lot since Christmas.”

“Si.” Carina leaned against the wall and looked at the ceiling. “In about half an hour Maya’s moving to the room down there…”

“Why? What’s happened? Is she ok?”

“Your sister is fine, Teddy is still very happy with her progress. The room change is only temporary.” She sighed, not sure who’s reaction she was more concerned about. “She…” Noise at the end of the corridor distracted Carina from her scattered thoughts, attracting Andy’s attention.

“She’s going to talk to the press...”

“Si. With Teddy and Chief Sato.”

“Why? She hates cameras, or did....”

“Si, still hates cameras Mason,” agreed Carina, amused at how he could lurch between intense suspicion and intense affection and protection for Maya without any apparent hint or clue as to which way he was going to react until he did. “But there are questions that need answers for this...tensione to change, for…”

“Two male stuffed shirts to shut up?” teased Andy, recalling the phrase Meredith had translated with great satisfaction, the doctor finding it an especially apt description of the Mayor and what she’d seen of Dixon whenever he spoke.

“Si, but for....wounds to start to heal.” Carina looked at Andy with curiosity, wondering if she could fill in the gap that Sato either couldn’t, or wouldn’t. “Why is Maya so confident Dixon is scared of her talking to the press?” The comments earlier, when the whole team had been visiting, about Dixon having it seemingly ‘in’ for Maya had not been news to Carina, but this media aspect was.

“It’s...you know he tried to make Maya take the blame for my Dad’s death?”

“No…” Carina walked across to the other side of the corridor and looked out of the window, down into the atrium below, trying to remember what she could from that time. “...she...it is still not a good talking topic.” Carina turned around, leaning against the glass, enjoying the coolness against her back. “Papas are not a good topic for either of us.”

“Yeah…” Andy saw Mason was about to ask some questions. “...Dixon was corrupt, he let businesses bribe their way out of building code compliance. My father died at…”

“I read, in the paper.”

“Oh?”

“Should have been the clue I didn’t really hate her, I was always checking any fire story in case it mentioned her…” he opened his notebook and carefully tore out a piece of paper, which he held out for Carina to take. “...last night, she’d wake up for a minute looking like she was going to panic, then she’d see you in the chair, holding her hand and she’d…” He shrugged, indicating the image he’d drawn from memory while in the plant room with a nod of his head. “...look at you like that for a few minutes then go back to sleep.”

“I…” Carina felt a huge lump in her throat when she looked at the piece of paper, her reaction similar to Andy’s when she’d seen his team sketch. Somehow, with only a few lines in a cheap biro pen like they all scribbled away on their charts with, barely managing a legible word or two, he’d captured the Maya she saw, the Maya she loved.

“She used to look at me a bit like that.”

“She still does Mason,” said Andy quietly, standing next to Carina and wrapping her arm around her shoulders, giving her a hug, imagining it was probably quite overwhelming seeing not only the completeness of Maya’s love for her captured in a moment Carina had no knowledge of, but having it captured so beautifully by Maya’s brother too. “But only when you couldn’t see, she didn’t want to upset you any more.”

“I think I know that now…” He closed the notebook, feeling like he should explain something else. “I haven’t drawn you, it...I wouldn’t, not without asking first.”

“Va bene, grazie…” Carina tried to give him back the drawing but he gestured for her to keep it, earning him another smile as Carina, much like Andy had done with hers of the team, carefully folded it and put it in the pocket of her scrubs. “I do not mind if you draw me…and thank you. I...do not have any pictures of her like that, that I have not been a part of, nor any where she is as beautiful and true.”

Mason blushed, ducking his head in embarrassment at receiving the compliment.

“Do you know what she’s going to say?” asked Andy, restarting the conversation.

“Si...it is...not going to be easy to listen to.”

“But it’s going to stop this?” asked Mason, knowing better than any of the firefighters or doctors what the change in tone of the police had felt like in the last few years. “This trample everything and ignore everyone after?”

“I think so…” There was still something Maya had said to Sato that Carina didn’t understand, but hadn’t wanted to ask Maya because she didn’t want to exhaust her. “...she said it was time for a horizontal vent?”

“Is it a pun?” asked Mason, not remembering his sister being all that interested in wordplay, but if she was going to be talking to the media about difficult stuff to listen to, that sounded like a vent, and he didn’t think Dr Altman or Carina would suddenly let her sit upright…

“I can see why you’d think that,” agreed Andy, starting to grin. “But it’s a firefighting technique...we use it to gain control of a fire.” And, if Andy knew her best friend, it was going to enable the fire department to gain control of this mess once and for all. “It helps us control the heat and the smoke and give us more time to reach the survivors.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got ahead of myself in the last chapter....Amelia threesome jokes ahead... *g*
> 
> Enjoy...and thanks for reading and letting me know how you're finding it so far :-)

“Why the frown?” asked Teddy, checking Maya over now she was ready to be wheeled down the corridor to the open ward space which was being temporarily repurposed for their needs as the nearest place that wasn’t her hospital room. 

Maya had become accustomed to the room and, as both Andy and Carina were especially familiar with her reluctance to accept others into her space when she was fit and well, it hadn’t surprised them that she didn’t like the idea of a lot of strangers coming into her hospital room. Therefore, in a few minutes she was going on a brief trip down the corridor to a fresh space, normally a busy day clinic, but at almost 5pm on New Year’s Eve, it was quiet and easily repurposed for their collective need in this most exceptional of circumstances. There, having never moved from her hospital bed with all the important equipment attached to it, she would do her few minutes in the spotlight to say her piece then retreat back into the shadowy quiet of her room, have some more medication and hopefully go to sleep for the rest of the year, which was only about six hours, but that still sounded nice.

“I just remembered what my plan for today after seeing the Chief was supposed to be.”

“Oh?” Teddy tried to work out what activity Maya might have been aware of in her future that she’d be disappointed to miss. “Oh…” Teddy smirked, “...she told you about that then?”

“Mmm?” Maya’s innocent expression wasn’t very good at the best of times, never mind when she was nervous.

“Carina, she told you about the bed bath.” Teddy decided not to tease Maya too much given what they were about to do. It had been a while since Teddy had done ‘patient status’ press conference updates, and she only had the minor role compared to Maya, plus she wasn’t the patient.

“Yeah.” Maya rolled her eyes at Teddy’s laughter, used to the surgeon’s teasing of her about Carina, finding her manner less intense than the Shepherd-Grey approach. “She’d been in the shower when I woke up and I....” Now she knew she’d had a panic attack start as she was brought into Grey-Sloan, and that Teddy had allowed Carina in to calm her down, Maya felt a little easier acknowledging her challenges with the surgeon.

“Ah, yeah…” Teddy’s bright smile shifted to a more thoughtful one. “...I used to think Henry did that deliberately to make me get out mid shampoo.”

“Henry?”

“My husband. Used to enjoy putting the residents treating him on the spot by insisting his ‘wife’ was present.”

“Oh, yes…” Maya remembered Teddy telling her about her husband when they were on the ladder - the not Christmassy story that needed a fair bit of alcohol. “...when does alcohol return to my menu so we can schedule ‘lots’?” Andy, for obvious reasons, had to carefully schedule her drinking sessions, so Maya was a little light on ‘girls night’ drinking buddies, and, while she liked all of Carina’s friends, she found Teddy the easiest to imagine as someone she might have made friends with in the ordinary course of things without the accelerated connection being Carina’s girlfriend had given her.

“Not for a while…sorry.” She found she was actually, genuinely sorry that it would be a while before she could find herself able to unwind her own tension enough to talk with Maya about the most tightly locked away aspects of herself.

“Figured.” Maya looked down at herself, finding it strange seeing her uniform shirt, with badge, nametape and rank insignia on it after it just being her and the sheet. “Never thought this would feel strange…”

“Strange weird or strange pain?”

“Strange weird...but then I never thought I’d be wearing a backless version of it either.” From the front, it looked like she was wearing her shirt normally, but in fact she only had her left arm through the left sleeve of the short sleeved shirt, with the shirt then resting on top of her shoulders. 

Carina had taken the scissors to one of Maya’s replacement shirts that were in the kit bag Sato had brought with him, cutting off the right sleeve and the whole of the back of the shirt below the level of her shoulder blades. So the uniform shirt covered her front from the neck down, and she’d been able to put it on staying lying down, and by only lifting her head off the pillow. Anchored in place by the fabric on the top of her shoulders and her left arm in the sleeve, as well as the blanket and sheet that was pulled up to just below her first broken rib, and Maya had complete confidence that she wouldn’t accidentally flash the Seattle press, but it still felt a bit weird. Possibly because she wasn’t allowed to wear her watch at the moment by Carina to stop her trying to be energetic or fidgety when she started to know what time it always was, which she didn’t notice so much when she wasn’t looking down and seeing her badge and shirt.

“You look very smart,” said Teddy, allowing herself a moment to give Maya a once over without thinking of her as a patient, appreciating that everyone enjoyed a genuine compliment at the right time. “And, to paraphrase myself from Christmas Day, wow, muscles…” Maya might still be incredibly limited in her movement options, but the subtle strength in her left forearm muscles were somehow more apparent now she was wearing her short sleeved uniform shirt than when she wasn’t.

“Teddy!”

“What?” Teddy looked up at the door, through which Carina had just appeared, having gone to find her phone charging cable from her office. 

“She’s regaining her appreciation for the sinful sexiness of a woman in uniform Carina, don’t ruin it for her…Hi Maya.”

“Amelia…” Maya looked at the ceiling, biting her lip to try and avoid laughing. As much as they were all together like this, she did enjoy it when the three doctors stopped being doctors and just started ripping into each other like this, though she did prefer it if she wasn’t the ‘thing’ being teased and could just treat it as a spectator sport.

“Hey!”

“Eh? I used my gomito.”

“Yes, but why the hitting? What did I do? It was Teddy with the bedroom eyes…”

“Are they for real?” asked Mason quietly, out of Maya’s earshot, standing over by the window with Andy, working out from Carina’s miming that ‘gomito’ was his newest Italian word and meant ‘elbow’. He wasn’t sure he’d ever manage a sentence of his own in Italian, given the extremely random selection of odd words he was learning, but they were proving to help him become fairly fluent when it came to understanding his sister and her girlfriend.

“Oh yes…”

“...make Maya laugh.” Carina glared at Amelia.

“Oh.” Amelia nodded, accepting Carina’s point, both verbally and elbow. “That’s fair. Sorry Maya.”

“It’s fine. And so is Teddy…” Maya looked at her girlfriend, not caring if she was looking like a lovesick fool, appreciating Carina’s defence on her behalf. “I’d said my shirt felt strange, think it’s my first piece of Italian designed clothing...”

“Weird or pain?” asked Amelia quickly - surprising Teddy. “What? I’m a doctor too.”

“Yes, but you…”

“The next person to bring up threesomes is not allowed to play with the puppies for a year,” said Carina, glaring at her friends with an impressively ferocious expression before leaning down and kissing Maya, having decided she could pull rank on Teddy and evict her from the prime ‘keeping Maya company’ spot on the left side of the bed.

“Did she…”

“Yeah…” Andy patted Mason on the back in sympathy. “...if it helps, I don’t think the original reference involved your sister.”

“Si, it did not,” said Carina, once more her more usual easy-going self, though Maya’s bright smile and tug on her hand, indicating she didn’t consider a combined hello and good luck kiss adequate also helped improve her mood.

“Is she banned from puppies now?” asked Amelia, when Maya and Carina finally pulled apart, making Amelia wonder if there was a side study to potentially look at oxytocin’s role in trauma recovery. It was certainly appearing to compensate for the absent morphine pump.

“Andy? No.”

“I meant Carina….hey!”

“Grazie Teddy.” Carina didn’t even look around, preoccupied with having to make sure she didn’t succumb to Maya’s attempt to persuade her to sit on the bed as there really wasn’t time.

“Are they always this…”

“Violent? Since Bailey said it was ok as long as they used their elbows, it does seem to have become a thing,” agreed Andy, having arrived in time on Sunday morning to witness the four surgeons perfecting their elbowing not hitting-with-the-hand reflexes when they’d been visiting to give the twins their caps, enjoying the three dimensional friendly spat happening around Maya’s bed, which she knew was a well concealed attempt by Amelia and Teddy to stop Maya or Carina having time to panic.

“Why?”

“The violence?”

“No, the elbows.”

“Something about them being world class surgeons with expensive hands…” explained Andy, shoving her hands in her pockets, seeing Bailey appearing in the doorway suggesting it was time for Maya to relocate. “...though it’s hard to believe that when they’re like this…”

* * *

  
  


“...thank you.” Maya made no attempt to conceal the yawn that caught her by surprise as soon as she’d finished what she’d wanted to say, grateful from the noise of a lot camera shutters that not only had Grey-Sloan and the Fire Department made sure the number of press was very limited compared to who wanted to be in the room when she was, but they’d also been incredibly effective at making sure no one used flash. She glanced to her left where Andy was hovering and saw her smile and nod, at which point Maya released the tension in her neck and let her head drop back into the full support of the pillow, but kept the fingers of her left hand resting on the blanket. That was the signal they were all looking for - the moment she was done, all she needed to do was raise her fingers and that would be it.

But she was curious to see what the immediate reaction to what she’d just said would be, so she left her fingers on the blanket, not really listening to Teddy’s update, just letting the sound of her voice drift past her ears as she sought out Carina, stood right at the back, directly in Maya’s eyeline. Her smile, even from this distance, was not only infectious but energising, and Maya’s earlier curiosity to find out what questions sprung to mind for the reporters was almost fully cancelled out by her need to be back in her little sanctuary with just Carina and their friends and brothers.

The more observant of the reporters and photographers noticed that something made Captain Bishop’s neutral expression, fixed while Dr Altman was confirming basic details about the surgery, injuries and anticipated recovery prognosis, suddenly transform into a brighter smile, her eyes animated as she heard something or, since they didn’t think anyone could be excited to hear they’d had an appendectomy by bullet, someone. But who was the mystery of the moment, since they couldn’t look around, as that would spoil the scoop.

“...thank you.”

Maya blinked back into focusing on Teddy and the reporters when she saw Carina nod and mime applauding her friend, partly as genuine assurance to Teddy, like Andy’s nod to Maya had been, that everything had come across well, but also because she’d sensed Maya hadn’t really been listening.

“....restraining order against your father Captain?”

Maya blinked - she’d not heard the question, and the mention of her father completely threw her, but Carina was there, looking calmly at her with a finger on her smiling lips, so Maya just watched her with interest, finally recognising the voice that was answering the question was Chief Sato’s.

“...no say in the matter. The Seattle Fire Department has a zero tolerance for civilian interference with our officers’ duties. Any civilian, who attempts to impede an officer complete their duties after due warning and instruction to comply with the safety rules at a scene will find a petition lodged against them by the Department requiring they be issued with a restraining order. The safety of our firefighters, whether in command at a scene or on the front line of a fire or rescue is, at all times, our paramount priority.” Chief Sato looked across to where one of the headquarters’ press team was raising their hand. “My colleague can provide you with further information on the numbers of active orders in place at the request of the Department and broader information about our general scene security and safety approaches after we’ve finished taking questions.”

Carina took her finger away from her lips and did an exaggerated shoulder drop and slump, like she was miming a rag doll going limp, causing Maya to need to bite her lip to stop her grin returning.

“Captain Bishop?”

“Mmm…” Maya scanned the couple of rows of seated reporters, looking to see who had called her name. “Yes?”

“What’s the first thing you’re planning on doing when you’re allowed to get up and about by Dr Altman and her team?”

“Oh.” Maya could think of a number of things she’d like to do, but wasn’t inclined to share any of them with anyone in the media. Fortunately though, this was one of the questions she’d asked for suggested answers to from her friends and now was the time to use one. “Wear some pants I guess?” That got a laugh and a head shake from Carina and, out of the corner of her eye, Andy, both of whom had pretty good ideas what her real answer might be. “Somewhere near the top of the list will be getting measured for replacement bunker gear. I haven’t looked at mine, but given the update that Dr Altman has provided, I’m very grateful that I had it, as otherwise, I understand I might have even more stitches and a longer wait for those pants.”

“Sorry, bunker gear?”

“What most people assume to be our uniforms - it’s the fireproof boots, pants and coat you see us wearing at scenes. Also called turnouts. We wear it over our everyday uniform, which is the shirt I’m wearing.”

“Thank you.”

Maya zoned out again while there was a question to Teddy that, from how it was structured, sounded like it was trying to suggest Maya had received extra special treatment because she was Teddy’s boss’ husband’s boss, which took Maya a moment to untangle before she realised they were basically saying Bailey made everyone rush about to make Warren look good. Clearly though, Teddy did a very comprehensive job of dismantling whatever angle the reporter thought they had, since they sat down looking like a rather deflated balloon, made worse by the little hissing sound their seat made as they sat on it.

“Captain Bishop?”

“Mmm?” Maya finally found the reporter towards the back of the room, looking a little too glamorous for the rest of the room.

“Can you confirm if you are in a relationship with Dr DeLuca?”

“I don’t know.” 

Maya’s prompt and unexpected response caught the reporter off guard, but Carina, who had been stood between Andrew and Mason at the back of the room for the whole briefing, knew what Maya was doing - they had discussed this before Carina had gone to get her phone charging cable, they both knowing that the press conference probably signalled that they weren’t going to be able to ignore their phones any longer. Maya’s had been saved from her coat and kept by Andy until Maya was awake enough to notice she didn’t have it and miss it, while Carina’s had died while she was waiting for news on Maya, and since that moment she’d not thought to look at it. The only two people who she’d have wanted urgent news from or about in the intervening two days were Maya and her brother, and had there been any, it wouldn’t have come by cell phone.

“Excuse me?”

“There are two Drs DeLuca in this hospital. You need to be more specific.”

“Oh.” 

Maya looked levelly at the reporter, waiting to see what they did. Both she and Carina had agreed that, if asked directly, Maya would answer - after all, Meredith had told the Mayor in the lobby earlier in the day, and it wasn’t like either of them were actively hiding their relationship. Mason had been the last person that, between the two of them, they’d wanted to find out from them rather than a third party, and he now knew, there wasn’t anyone else they wanted to make sure heard the news from them. But just because they were comfortable enough with their own individual ‘outness’ and relationship, did not mean they were prepared to make it easy for reporters to make Maya an even more exciting headline than the ‘Olympic Gold Medal Winning Fire Captain Shot by Police Department’ and all its variants already were.

There was a rustle of paper as the reporter turned back a page in their notes, the penny dropping for them that despite her situation, Captain Bishop was no rookie when it came to flat batting reporter questions, which this reporter had been told by her sports colleagues who’d done a trawl back through their Olympic coverage and discovered that their memories were correct and Maya Bishop had been a veritable closed book to them then.

“Dr Meredith Grey, a Board Member at this hospital was overheard this afternoon confirming you were in an intimate relationship with a Dr Carina DeLuca, who is on the staff at this hospital.” The reporter looked up at Maya, smirking, like they’d got Maya in a spot. “What is your response?”

“I believe, having seen a video of the exchange, Dr Grey’s exact words were that Dr Carina DeLuca was my partner.” Maya looked away from the reporter asking the question to the room overall. “To catch everyone else up, Dr Carina DeLuca is on the Staff here, as an Attending Obstetrician-Gynecologist. How and why Dr Grey was put into the position where she was required to discuss the private life of a patient is a question that you might like to have the Mayor’s office answer.”

“What’s the Mayor got to do with it Captain?” called out another reporter, and Maya’s initial intention was to ignore him, until she saw the effect the question had on the overly glamorous reporter in the edge of her vision, and then she suddenly realised where she’d seen her - front and centre of Dixon’s press conferences when he was Fire Chief.

“If I may Captain?” asked Teddy quietly, winking at Maya out of line of view of the reporters, knowing she could take the heat for this one far more easily since she wasn’t employed by the City and was an eyewitness. “I have an advantage compared to Captain Bishop as I, like many staff and visitors this afternoon, was an eyewitness when the Mayor took loud exception to Dr DeLuca not seeing patients today on account of Captain Bishop’s injuries. She was in the hospital lobby, in line for a coffee with Dr Grey, when the Mayor started shouting across the lobby at her, making it clear he considered himself entitled to summon doctors on a whim, while also questioning Dr DeLuca’s professional expertise. It was, as I’m sure many of the other Department Heads and Hospital Board Members, as well as staff and patients who heard it would agree, an incredible rant.” 

Teddy spoke with a firm, precise, level voice that gave no hint or clue how much she hated bullies...but then as hideous as the Mayor’s behaviour had been, he was amateur hour compared to the specimens she’d come across in her military career.

She took another calming breathe, knowing what felt like an awkwardly long stop to her was only a moment’s pause before she started again, knowing this was the only difficult bit, but they’d gone through the video again and agreed again that there was nothing Carina had said that was concerning, even without putting it alongside the vitriol spouted by the Mayor and Dixon.

“Such a public, unprofessional and rude attack on her professionalism as a Doctor, when she was in the hospital at that moment as the partner of a patient recovering from major trauma surgery provoked a spirited response and swift departure by an obviously upset Dr DeLuca. A reaction I don’t think anyone who has ever had cause to worry for their loved one finds surprising.”

She waited, pausing for the impact of her words to sink in, finding she could read the room as easily as she could read a heart in distress, all her Army MEDCOM experience coming back to in a moment. Compared to briefing Generals, Joint Chiefs and Diplomats from numerous countries as well as more than the odd terrorist or warlord, this was calm and civilised.

“That should answer your question, but if I may also add, as Captain Bishop’s primary doctor, in case my earlier remarks were ambiguous: due to the nature of Captain Bishop’s injuries, she is currently unable to eat or drink. That she is able to tolerate anyone in the same space as her with any sort of refreshment...” Teddy paused, directing a hard look at all of the members of the press who had come in with take out coffee cups or water bottles, making her point extra well. “...is a testament to her extreme generosity and good nature in extraordinary circumstances. Personally, if our situations were reversed, I do not believe many of us would be as tolerant, something I hope you will be mindful of as you write whatever you intend to write.”

“In other words, the Mayor started it and should stop stirring?” joked a reporter who Teddy knew had a reputation for not liking the Mayor’s cronyism and approach, but he was crucially looking directly at Maya, which gave Teddy the final say.

“That’s question number four to the Captain, and the deal was three ladies and gentlemen. Happy New Year everyone.” Teddy’s hunch, quickly remembered when her mind had obligingly drifted to memories of briefing warlords whose questions the Army didn’t want her answering, had paid off, which her rhetorical reflective statement triggering a casual comment framed as a question, giving her the fast exit.

And so, with an instinctive shoulders back ‘at ease’ straightening of her back, Teddy neatly turned her back on the reporters and focused on Maya, knowing they’d positioned everyone so Maya’s bed was aligned with a patient treatment space that could be enclosed by curtains, curtains which were immediately pulled around them.

“Carina’s going…” began Maya, the guilt that her situation was creating difficulties for her girlfriend immediately returning at speed now the small amount of adrenalin the press conference had stirred up was spent.

“...to be here in a second,” reassured Teddy, picking up Maya’s left hand and feeling for her pulse at her wrist, the monitors turned away towards the back wall so the reporters didn’t get to see their readings. If Maya had any real issues, the alarms would sound, but they hadn’t, though Teddy wanted an immediate feel for how Maya was really doing. “Who was that reporter who asked about you and Carina?”

“No idea, but she was always at the front of the tape whenever Dixon ‘happened’ to drop by a scene.” Maya yawned again, really wanting to sleep but wanting to see Carina before she dozed off. “Guessed she was a pet reporter…”

“Bella…” Maya looked towards the voice, smiling as she saw her girlfriend slip through the curtains

“Hi.” Maya’s smile was tired, which coupled with Teddy taking her pulse immediately worried Carina.

“Teddy?”

“She’s fine,” reassured the surgeon, waiting until Carina was holding Maya’s hand before letting go, knowing Maya would have otherwise ended up with her hand dropping back onto the bed as she’d allowed her arm to go limp when Teddy was holding it. “Worried about you, so perfectly normal.” Teddy looked at her friends with a fond smile as Carina sat down on the edge of the bed and reached forward, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her girlfriend’s ear and stroking her cheek. 

Stepping back, Teddy tried to disappear into the curtains, wanting to give them as much space as she could without venturing back into press, feeling like an intruder when she noticed how Carina was looking at Maya and realising the only way she could think to describe it was that it was like watching Carina fall in love with Maya all over again., 

In an ideal world, she’d have gone through the curtains and left them in total privacy, but she couldn’t as their plan was she waited with Maya while the Fire Department and Hospital press people moved the reporters into a different room for a further briefing by the Fire Department on the technical details about their protective equipment, the engine and hose that was damaged and, based on Chief Sato’s answer, the restraining order. Once they were all out of the way, they’d then move Maya back to her room.

“I’m sorry…” Maya turned her head in Carina’s hand and kissed the inside of her wrist.

“Cosa?”

“For getting you involved in this…”

“Va bene bella…” soothed Carina, feeling how exhausted Maya was from the last couple of hours based on how heavy her head was feeling in Carina’s hand despite also being supported by the pillow. “...ti amo…” She leaned forwards and brushed her lips against Maya’s, feeling them react to her touch but also getting further confirmation that Maya needed to be asleep, possibly with the help of a touch of medication given how swollen her lower lip felt to Carina compared to how kissing Maya usually felt, and since this was their first kiss, that slight swelling could only be from Maya catching it in her own teeth from either pain or anxiety. “You were magnifica, especially with the one with the seni finti e cattiva tintura per capelli.”

“Which one with the…” Maya frowned, trying to sleepily comb through that sentence for the word or two she recognised. “...breasts and hair?”

“Scusa….fake breasts e bad hair dye? Who you put back in her chair.”

“Box…” mumbled Maya automatically, finding it hard to keep her eyes open as long as Carina was stroking her cheek like she was.

“Si, grazie bellissima…” Carina wasn’t just thanking Maya for the idiom correction, but for how she dealt with the question. “...e Teddy, grazie mille amico mio.” There was a part of her that wanted to know why Maya had pushed back so firmly on the insinuations before they could be made about her sexuality and their relationship, and why Teddy pushed harder still and stopped any other routes for making mischief with her reaction to the Mayor.

But it didn’t matter, not now Maya’s eyes were closing and her love was finally letting herself rest having almost certainly, through force of sheer force of will at staying awake long enough to plan and do the press conference, helped start to reset some of the tension, helped moved them all a long way towards some of the problems being fixed.

“Ti amo mio Capitana, dormire bella…”

It wasn’t how Carina had expected to spend the final hours of this most strange of years - but given what had happened in the last few days? She’d take it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and the kudos - I will catch up again soon, but for now we're doing a bit of what shows always forget after flinging a bit of *drama glitter* about the place...which is allowing people to react and process. If you would prefer to step over the part that describes how the fire scene looked after Maya was off to Grey Sloan in the Aid car, please stop reading when you Chief Sato says 'Can I be in on it too'. Please then search the page for 'fireworks' and start again from the paragraph that finishes with the word 'fireworks'.

“Happy New Year,” said Bailey as she and Teddy met in the corridor, both thinking it was time for some sort of middle of the night refreshment.

“Is it?” Teddy saw a nearby clock “Oh, yes, Happy New Year.” She’d received a patient in the Pit around 10pm who she’d had to take to the operating theatre almost immediately, and hadn’t appreciated the significance of the time now “Great, that means I signed my last four orders wrong.” She sighed, then caught herself. “Sorry, Happy New Year Bailey. You headed for food?”

“It happens,” said Bailey, nodding, falling into step with her colleague and friend, not that concerned - that was why they reviewed and checked their patient charts as often as they did. “She did good earlier, you both did.”

“Maya? Yeah…” Teddy slowed and turned to Bailey. “Do you think it worked?”

“I know it worked.” Bailey pulled out her phone and found the news headline that had broken, now she thought about it, while Teddy was in theatre. “Look.” She passed Teddy the phone and let her absorb the headline. “She did that. You did that.”

“How?” Teddy was in shock, unable to wrap her head around what she was seeing in the headline. 

_ CITY HALL SHAKE DOWN - MAYOR RESIGNS, PD CHIEF ON CHARGES. _

“Seems the one thing that matters more to a career politician than his approval rating is the love of his daughter…” Bailey took the phone back and tried to give Teddy a run down. “Some folks recorded the Mayor shouting at Carina, so it was already on the internet when the press conference happened, but it hadn’t really gone anywhere.” It had gained a few hits, but they’d been directed at Grey Sloan, with the social media assumption being ‘good for the Mayor, putting those over-paid doctors in their place for not working’ and having another go at the cost of healthcare. But from a Board perspective, that was hardly news and the hospital just carried on.

“Why not?”

“Because unlike you, they didn’t pay much attention to Meredith and Carina, they just recognised him from the off and filmed yet another Mayor shouting moment.”

“Ah.” Teddy saw that made sense and started walking again, though more slowly than before. “Yeah, we were watching Carina not him. But I guess without context...”

“Strange foreign lady screams at Mayor? Yeah…turns out his daughter speaks Italian, recognised Carina, guessed she was with Maya because she saw them together when Maya came in with the bears and isn’t prepared to have anyone other than Carina as her OB.” That was not a decision either Teddy or Bailey could be critical of, having made the same one themselves.

“Ouch, for the Mayor? And how do you know this?”

“She came in after the press conference, wanted to apologise to Carina and Maya, but met with me and Meredith when we said there was a hard no on Maya seeing anyone. We got the good stuff though, and she’s going to speak with Carina when she has her next regular appointment.”

“And?” Teddy held open the door for Bailey, shooting her a clear look that said ‘spill’ as she passed.

“She made the Mayor sit down and watch the press conference with her more than once. Then, in her words, told him a few home truths and told him it was City Hall or her, and if he didn’t fix his mess at City Hall before he picked her, it was a hard no on seeing his grandsons.”

“Twins?”

“Yeah, that was why Carina hadn’t been able to confirm the gender at the daughter’s original appointment.” Bailey walked up to the canteen counter and looked at the very limited late night choices in weary disappointment. “She could see one, but not the other, and the daughter was adamant she only wanted to know the two together. She was happy to wait for the next scan, but the Mayor? Not so much.”

“Huh.” Teddy selected two of the least sorry looking pieces of fruit she could spot and decided that would balance the pre-packed (and therefore still properly fresh) chocolate cakes she’d also taken. “Sounds like it was the Mayor’s daughter that is owed the credit then.” Teddy was happy being out of the spotlight, and everything she knew about Maya told her she’d not feel cheated out of a moment of glory either.

“Nope. Not the way she tells it...” 

Bailey decided to follow Teddy’s lead with her selections, though she went for vanilla and carrot as her cake choices, then followed the other surgeon to the table once she’d seen Teddy signal she’d got Bailey’s snack and fruit juice covered. The really good part needed to be told sitting down...

* * *

  
  


“Is this for real?” asked Jack, coming into the break room and gesturing to the local news show that the rest of the team were watching.

“Oh, it’s for real,” agreed Warren, handing him the bowl of popcorn. “Real real this time too.”

“We thought that last time…” said Sullivan quietly, knowing all too well how indestructible Dixon had seemed to be.

“Ah, but this time the Mayor’s daughter is pregnant,” said Warren, taking the bowl of popcorn back from Jack and, after taking a couple of kernels for himself, passed the bowl onto Miller.

“And that makes it different how?”

“However much dirt Dixon threatened the Mayor with last time, none of it was worth the risk of him not meeting his ‘miracle’ grandsons. Miranda met the daughter.”

“The Mayor’s daughter?”

“Yeah, she went by Grey Sloan to apologise to Carina but she was with Maya and…” He ate his popcorn, not needing to complete that sentence.

“So what, the daughter blackmails the Mayor with her unborn kid…

“Kids, twins,” added Warren, knowing that the reason the daughter was so determined to stick with Carina was these babies were by IVF and the daughter’s last chance at conceiving with her partner as the biological father. Carina was already a miracle worker in the daughter’s eyes, so she wasn’t prepared to cut her father any slack over either his temper tantrum or his belief that he could be like that in general.

“Nice, so daughter blackmails Dad the Mayor with unborn kids in exchange for what, removing himself as Dixon’s protector?”

“I think we’re supposed to see it as he reevaluated his past decision making and loyalties and considered how it reflected on his character as a father and grandfather…” said Travis, reading out a sentence from the press release he’d found, then, having read the next paragraph, went back to paraphrasing. “And handing over to the Attorney General all his  _ personal  _ records about everything shady he knows about that involves Dixon, the police or the fire department.”

“He made a deal…” said Dean, his distaste for people who manipulate the system to their perceived advantage clear.

“Yes, he made a deal,” said Travis, not in the mood for Miller’s cynicism. “But it sounds like it’s a deal that takes away everyone else’s ability to take a deal and means there’s finally a clean house.”

“Sounds like a good deal,” said Jack, sitting down and watching the rolling news ticker for a moment, taking in the details. “Says there…” He nodded to the screen, “...yeah, there...he can’t run for anything ever either. He’s really gone.”

“And taking lots with him,” added Travis, going back to the news story on his phone. “She did it.”

“Who did what?” asked Andy, coming in from the locker room, her hair still wet from the shower.

“Maya…” Robert passed her his phone then went to stand up, wanting her to have his spot on the couch but she just waved him to stay put then perched on his knee, deciding 2 something in the morning on New Year’s Day was unlikely to have them receive an inspection at the best of times, and certainly not 19 today. “...what she said, it made it real for everyone, on all sides. …seems that she made it real enough for the Mayor’s daughter to ask her father things she should have maybe thought about some time ago, but he’s taken enough people down that everyone’s coming out together. There’s statements from cops and city inspectors, all sorts coming out now.” He looked at Miller with an intensely challenging look, their history still nearer fractured than perfectly smoothed, but they did have enough shared experiences that each knew couldn’t be ignored by the other. “...this feels different.”

“Wow…” Andy got enough of a sense of the story to pass the phone back to Robert, having had a better idea of what the hope was from Maya’s statement than the others as, along with Chief Sato, she’d been around the hospital as Maya worked it out. The scale of what Maya had done, by asking some simple, honest questions in public, on a platform she couldn’t be pushed from was almost more than Andy could really wrap her mind round, especially considering her injuries. So, like most in that sort of situation, the only thing she had left was humour, and slightly dark humour at that. “...but then she always loved a good horizontal vent.”

“Oh baby…” agreed Vic, feeling giggly all of a sudden. “...the way that girl swings a sledgehammer? I’m straight straight, but my head turns when she gets those hips going...” Vic mimed swinging something with her hands, the stress and anxiety of the last couple of days bubbling out in laughter.

“It’s a beautiful sight…” agreed Travis, sighing with a smile on his face. “...almost as beautiful as seeing the looks on everyone else’s faces as she does it…”

“It  _ is _ the hips…” agreed Andy, remembering being jealous the moment she saw Maya first doing the drills at the Academy. “...she just…” She twisted on Robert’s knee, turning her hip through an angle as she connected her left palm with her right fist.

“For me it’s the cops…” said Sato quietly, joining in with a smile on his face, not quite able to admit to admiring Bishop’s sledgehammer technique with quite the same easy confidence as her team, mostly because he’d never yet had the privilege of seeing it like they had. “...you don’t see her when she’s IC, stood with all these big guys with their tactical vests full of whatever and their hands…” He mimed them tucking their hands inside the front of their vest, everyone easily picturing how they stood, the pose making their upper bodies seemingly swell to double their usual size. “...and they start looking past, no  _ over  _ her helmet when she’s briefing or asking questions…”

“Yeah, I’ve seen that when I’ve been on hydrant…” Warren looked at the Chief. “...always wondered why they were clustered around her not you. Thought you were playing tricks with her or something, but she seemed to like you so...” He shrugged, conveying he’d decided that was a mystery to live with. 

“Games with them, not her - she’s way better at it than me. And at some point, they start to know it because the hands come down and they give her some space.”

“I think I even saw one stick his hand up?” asked Emmett quietly, having not really felt able to contribute to the conversation, appreciating that the team didn’t associate him with his father anymore, but it was still not easy.

“That’s the really sweet moment…” agreed Sato, grinning. “...as was the scene you called for something, can’t remember what and these..State guys were nearest and thought they’d be helpful and take it to you…”

“Sandbags. The big flooding call…” Dean leaned back in his chair, smiling at the memory. “...big guys, carrying one each at a steady waddle…” He mimed their eyes bulging, cheeks puffed out as they carried them all wrong, hanging between their legs. “Sounding and looking like astmatic penguins but Bishop? Comes at a jog, two on her shoulder.”

“Captain doesn’t stack hoses…” muttered Emmett, thinking back to the lesson she’d given him on Christmas Day.

“...no, but our Captain does hose drills,” finished Dean and Vic and Travis in unison, all knowing what he was talking about, having been on the receiving end of the same observation as Emmett had, only without the refresher lesson in how to lift the hose.

“What about…” Jack couldn’t bring himself to actually verbalise it, but he was still struggling to get the image of her, lying in the hospital bed with all those tubes and stuff attached to her, out of his head and back to the full of energy Maya that had started shift with them on Tuesday.

“She’s gonna be back Jack,” said Ben quietly, understanding his concern, unable to bring himself to think it or say it either.

“Yes but…”

“No buts,” said Andy firmly, standing up and going right up to Jack, making him look right at her to see how serious she was, though she spoke loudly enough for the whole room to hear, including Chief Sato who was sitting against the wall in the corner. He was perfectly content it seemed picking out the last broken bits of popped kernels from the unpopped ones left at the end of the first bowl of popcorn, joining in when he could like with the IC memory, not imposing himself as ‘Chief’, with Maya probably the nearest he had to a ‘teammate’ so her team being the nearest to a team he had to gravitate to. 

“She’s made Teddy talk through every incision and bruise, explain what each one’s recovery is like on its own. Carina was there as well, asking extra stuff.” Andy saw Jack’s eyes start to look less troubled, but she kept going. “When Teddy told Maya that each individual injury was fully recoverable from, that having all of them at the same time made it a bit slower and more complicated to recover, but didn’t change the fact that Maya would fully recover and come back to full duty, Maya had doubts.”

“See?” Jack felt vindicated - even Maya ‘Gold Medal’ Bishop wasn’t believing she’d be back, though he didn’t like being vindicated for such a horrible thought, of their Captain, their friend not coming back.

“According to Maya, that’s when Carina calmly informed her that as long as Teddy believed Maya would make a full recovery and be a firefighter, that was what Maya needed to believe and every day she gave in to pity, she was sleeping on the couch.”

“Their couch is rough for sleeping on…” mused Vic, her lower back reminding her of a night or two spent crashed out on it because she’d not meant to sleep over and had succumbed to the classic ‘just rest my eyes for a minute then go’ reasoning, only to wake up as dawn broke. “...that’s cruel to make Maya sleep on it.”

“Only if she stops believing she’ll be back,” reminded Andy, seeing Jack was starting to nod having found a way out of his head’s labyrinth of worries, so turning she could see everyone. “Remember, this is  _ Carina  _ we’re talking about. She’s a doctor who understands what abdominal rehab really means, but she also understands Maya.”

“She’s gonna be back,” said Travis, seeing everything clicking into place, admiring Carina’s strategy. “Maya’s going to be back, better than ever…” He also saw how much love and courage it took from Carina to be the one to push her, though he knew from his own recovery after the skyscraper fire how important mental attitude and mindset was. “New Station rule: anyone caught in a Captain’s not coming back pity-party gets floors and bathrooms for the shift?”

“And ten bucks in the puppy fund…” added Vic quickly, thinking the chores wouldn’t be much of a threat at certain times in the shift.

“Twenty. Deserves to hurt,” said Dean, looking at Jack to gauge his reaction, knowing how deep into his own head he could go, knowing though that however deep any of them went, somehow Maya had become the sort of Captain who would get in there right alongside them and start helping them out, even if it was by pissing them off enough that they went and spoke to Dr Lewis.

“Deal…” Jack nodded and looked at Andy, who nodded in agreement.

“Can I be in on it too?” asked Sato, earning some surprised looks. “I...can’t see Dr Lewis for a few days.”

“You too?” asked Jack quietly, still chewing on his lip. “For me it’s the street, it’s all I see…”

“...her kit, left there…” agreed Sato, surprised Jack was also in the same position he was. 

As a general rule, whenever a firefighter left a scene, for whatever reason, they took all their kit with them, so they could respond to the next call as soon as they were able to. It was why Bailey generally complained about firefighters making the hospital look untidy, as at some point they’d all dump most of their turnout gear with their helmet somewhere while waiting for their burn to be dressed or their lungs to be checked. But none of Maya’s turnouts had gone with her in the Aid Car, just as none of her blue uniform had made it whole into the ER. Instead, when Sato arrived at what was now not just a fire scene but a scene of a shooting, what in the films would have been a white chalk outline on the pavement was Bishop’s turnouts, left exactly where they’d fallen as Herrera cut them away, her helmet upside down and rolled on its side a short distance away.

“I was last out…” Jack had been leading the team as they worked their way through the property, methodically checking it for survivors and hidden threats, which meant he had the furthest distance to backtrack when they all heard Andy’s shout into the radio that Bishop was down. “...Aid Car was already turning at the end of the block.” He looked at Vic and nodded. “Good driving Hughes.” They’d moved Maya so quickly he never saw her, so like Sato, he never had an image of her alive in his mind until they could see her through the window of her hospital room in the very early hours of Wednesday morning when she’d been moved there from Recovery. But that was a long twelve or so hours when all you could see in your memory was her kit abandoned where she’d fallen.

“Here’s my twenty…” said Warren, pulling out a bill, surprised to see it was a fifty but not thinking twice. “...and I can cover…” He saw Andy raise her hand, the Lieutenant knowing her pockets were empty as she’d given it to Mason at the hospital. “...Herrera with a half…” Travis’ pocket had produced a ten dollar bill, so he raised a hand. “...covering Montgomery.”

“And mine…” Sullivan held up a twenty, Miller and Hughes following suit. Emmett’s shirt pocket only yielded a ten, while Sato had a fifty, so with a quick bit of hand waving that was the two of them plus Gibson covered, meaning they all had quietly accepted they had equal share in that first ‘pity-party’. Chores, they were already on top of.

“Here…” Vic stood up and went over to the shelves, where there was, for reasons no one knew, a large mug with the Seattle skyline printed on it. “...this will do for now.” They all knew the traditional firefighter’s boot was not an acceptable collection vessel this time.

“Did anyone else find it weird seeing her sleepy?” Travis hadn’t realised he’d verbalised that question until everyone was looking at him. “I mean, not that she was weird for being sleepy when we saw her, but I just...I don’t think I’ve ever seen her fall asleep before, I thought she had batteries you know...” he joked, earning some grins and laughs, each firefighter thinking back to their own personal favourite ‘Maya never stops’ memory.

“I thought it was just me,” said Jack, earning him some disbelieving looks which, given neither Maya nor Carina were in the room, meant came with loud unspoken challenges. “What? We…” 

**_Aid Car Nineteen, Ladder Nineteen…_ **

“Thank god…” he sighed, glad of the opportunity to set a new Station record for break room to ladder rather than try and explain how he and Maya had always been very, very awake and it almost felt like it happened to different people now, so far had they both managed to come in their personal battles to heal their deep internal wounds and build new lives for themselves with, in Maya’s case the person she so obviously loved with everything she had, while for Jack, he was just starting to understand his depth of feeling for Inara.

Opening the cabin door on the ladder, he put one foot on the step as soon as his suspenders were on his shoulders, then grabbed his coat. As soon as his arm was through it, he reached for the door and was pulling himself into the cabin as his second arm hooked through the sleeve. However, for once he allowed himself to pause for a split second and look back at the Barn, seeing the team pulling on their kit and climbing into the Ladder and the Aid Car.

The missing engine was strange, not hearing it called was strange. But they were getting a temporary engine tomorrow, one of the spares from Headquarters, so their ‘strange’ would become ‘different’ and be ‘normal’ again in a week or so according to the mechanics at headquarters.

“Jack?” Miller looked across at his friend, wondering why he’d not fully got in yet, though there was still a few seconds before his slowness was delaying their roll out as the shutters were still rising.

“Sorry…” He sat down in the seat, pulling the door shut behind him, reaching for the headset. “...Bishop would put me on floors for that…” he joked, once his headset was connected.

“She’s coming back Jack,” said Dean, glad his friend now knew Chief Sato was having a similar struggle. Dean wasn’t doing all that great, but he had at least seen Maya being loaded into the Aid Car, which was a better image to cling to than...the spot on the street he’d managed to never look at.

“Yeah.” Jack looked at him and, for the first time since it happened, properly smiled. “Yeah, she is….alright, what we got...” He pulled up the scene details on the tablet as Miller put his foot on the gas and the big truck rolled out of the barn, lights flashing. “...what a surprise, building fire, suspected trigger fireworks…”

“Happy New Year...hey, what about fireworks for names? Rocket would be cool...”

“We are not suggesting Maya has a puppy named Golden Shower…” said Vic firmly from the back of the cabin.

“Yeah, no…” agreed Jack, looking out of the window at the City as they headed for their latest call. “...but could we persuade one of those guys from C shift to? Think her reaction could be kinda cool…”

“Wait until her ribs have healed a bit first maybe?” suggested Warren, looking out of the window at some late fireworks high up in the sky.

“Yes  _ Dad…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Heads up - the next few chapters will sort out a lot of the narrative lose ends I've created with Mason's return...which means a fair few handfuls of *drama glitter* being thrown about and some *feels*. But it will be alright *g*, I promise.


	12. Chapter 12

“Think they’ll be asleep?” asked Teddy, pausing with Bailey outside the door into Maya’s room, their middle of the night snack over.

“Maybe not Maya, but the other two? Who wouldn’t be given the choice,” said Bailey, pushing open the door and heading in, Teddy close behind her.

“Finally. Bailey? Can you tell your doctor to stop being a stubborn Italian fool?”

“Teddy? Can you tell your patient she’s stupido e impossibile per favore?”

  
  


Bailey and Teddy looked at each other, not expecting to have arrived in the middle of an argument between Maya and Carina.

“Good morning, Happy New Year…” said Teddy slightly archly, then turned to the third, and so far silent but also awake person in the room. “What about you Mason? Any requests?” 

“Can you change a five Dr Altman? I thought I’d get a soda…” he tried, seeing that as a way out, only to receive a Bailey glare that usually had interns leaving scorch marks in the corridor as they shot off to do whatever it was they were previously reluctant to do. On Mason though, it had a curious effect, like it was a shot of truth serum. “Maya’s taken her fluid thing out, which has made Carina angry. And Carina won’t go anywhere but the chair, which makes Maya angry.”

“Maya…” sighed Teddy, reminding herself to add paramedic-firefighters to the list of types of patient she hated, since they were just as bad as Doctors at interfering with their own treatment. “...why did you do that?” she asked quietly, knowing that Maya was neither irrational nor stupid, so suspecting there was something else happening they didn’t yet know.

“What about you Mason?” asked Bailey, still stood in the doorway, knowing Teddy would get to the bottom of what was going on with Maya and therefore, by extension, Carina.

“Mmm?”

“I don’t have two teenaged boys at home for nothing young man. That…” Bailey waved her hand out, palm facing towards the bed where Teddy was reconnecting Maya’s fluids and Carina was hovering, radiating so much worried love it was probably detectable in space. “...is a distraction fight. So what did you do?” She looked past him to the far side of the room and sighed. She thought this would happen, but hadn’t factored in how stubborn they all were. “Honestly, you Bishops and DeLucas...come on you, we’re getting that soda.” She looked at Carina. “Just kiss and make up, then sleep in the damn bed with her.” Bailey turned to leave, then turned back. “Oh, and change your scrubs for one of the t-shirts Vic sent with the Chief yesterday. Puppies need a fresh dose of their favourite person apparently.”

“Umm…” Mason gave his sister a little half wave and followed Bailey out, remembering clearly the conversation they’d had after she’d woken up from one of her naps in the afternoon about how, if he was going to do the painting he had to not only stick at it, but stay on good terms with Bailey. Which he guessed right now meant going and, if he understood her teenaged boys comment, not getting a soda with her but answering some serious questions...which he was actually ok with.

“What’s going on?” asked Teddy quietly, checking Maya’s line which, contrary to how Mason had made it sound, she’d not taken out, just disconnected the fluid bag, and only for a minute or so, so no harm had been done.

“Carina’s wearing herself out sleeping in that chair all the time…” grumbled Maya, frustrated that her situation was affecting her girlfriend. “...and won’t sleep somewhere more comfortable like an actual bed somewhere.”

“Ok…” Teddy wasn’t so far hearing anything that explained why Bailey had made the connection back to Mason, though could understand Maya’s frustration - Carina’s stubbornness was legendary amongst her friends, with Maya seemingly the only one who she generally changed her mind for without too much of a fight, though not this time. “...why can’t we just bring in another bed?” This was a two patient room that currently only had Maya in it, so there was plenty of room for another bed, plus it wasn’t like Maya was taking up all of hers, not that Teddy would ever officially point that out of course. “Wait, where is the other bed?” Teddy kicked herself for not commenting on its absence sooner, but now she thought about it, especially without a large number of firefighters filling the room, there had been the second bed in the other patient bay when they’d transferred Maya here from Recovery that first day, but after that nothing.

“I had maintenance remove it yesterday...” Carina’s voice was muffled as she pulled her scrub shirt off over her head, recalling Andy had given her a similar message from Vic what was technically yesterday right before the press stuff, but she forgot. “...I mean Wednesday morning.” Given Teddy had just wished them Happy New Year, she guessed that meant it was now Friday. “Buon anno Teddy.”

“Why?” Teddy, happy that Maya hadn’t done anything to jeopardise her line, reconnected it then started to review Maya’s chart.

“Mason.”

“Your brother?” asked Teddy, looking up from the chart, confused, before trying not to smile as she saw Maya’s eyes were tracking her half-dressed girlfriend as she went to the patient closet and claimed one of Maya’s Seattle FD t-shirts having discovered the kit bag had been unpacked at some point, Teddy belatedly remembering Amelia doing it as a distraction and because it reduced the likelihood of Maya’s bed catching on it as she was moved through for the press conference. “What’s he got to do with this?”

“Mmm?” Maya’s head shifted angle as she watched, unable to help herself, as Carina decided, if she was going to be made to lie down and sleep with Maya, she’d remove her bra as well before she put the t-shirt on. Her distraction and inattention might have worried a less experienced Doctor, but Teddy just grinned and waited until Maya’s eyes refocused on her.

“Now your girlfriend’s not half naked over there, you want me to repeat the question?”

“No…” Maya guessed she was blushing but didn’t care. “How much do you know?” she asked, not sure what Teddy might have been told about him.

“You and he haven’t been in touch much these last few years? And you said about not wanting to affect his sobriety when we talked about your meds.”

“Mason first OD’ed the day I won my medal...he was here, in the States, on his own...it’s...a bit of an understatement, saying we’ve not been in touch much.” Maya stared into space, reaching blindly for Carina’s hand when she returned to the bedside, her earlier frustration with her girlfriend forgotten now she was trying to find the words, only to find herself silently crying instead.

“Bella…” whispered Carina, leaning across and kissing Maya’s wet cheek, looking in her eyes for permission to explain, seeing the small nod. “Mason lives in the homeless camps Teddy. Before he turned up here, I had never met him.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I…”

“Didn’t know? Si, not many do. Miranda knows from Ben, Andrea too a little, and Amelia a little bit since Christmas and more now from her talks with him, otherwise only the team.”

“I was wondering, yesterday…” admitted Teddy, starting to see all the little hints and clues she’d managed to overlook.

“The story with Travis’ boxers? Si. la polizia è un problema per lui senza che sua sorella sia il pompiere…” Carina shook her head sadly, not realising they had no idea what she’d just said. “...he thought Maya’s attempts to help him were her being like their father, telling him what to do. So he ran.”

“Seems a family skill,” added Maya softly, her tears stopped for now. “The team found out, a few years back and always insisted we volunteer every vaccination programme and wellness check round, so they could make sure he was at least alive and clean…since it was a Station initiative in the first place, no one questioned the team’s commitment these last couple of years.”

“That’s why he has lunch and talks with Amelia when she is free?” Another piece of the puzzle suddenly clicked into place for Teddy.

“Yeah, she offered…” Maya looked at Teddy, a mixture of defeat and relief clouding her face. “...and what matters is that he talks to someone right?”

“He’s sleeping on the floor…” realised Teddy, looking across at the neat pile of blankets folded on the chair, the only furniture item left from the second patient space.

“Si. Even with the bed there, and I could not make him move, so...” Carina shrugged. “At least without the bed he had some more space and I was not so worried about him hurting his head.”

“...but you didn’t tell Maya…” continued Teddy, looking back at the firefighter, the rest of the puzzle fitting together. “...and you...woke up while both of them were still sleeping...” Teddy looked at Maya with a physician’s critical eye, picking up the little hints and signs, combining them with what she knew of Maya. “...pain or not tired?” As unfortunate as this row was, it was potentially wrapped up amongst good news if Maya was starting to feel too awake to sleep

Maya nodded, then looked sadly at Carina, not quite sure what the answer to Teddy’s question was, but either way, prioritising fixing things with Carina. “I’m sorry for picking a fight with you, but I’m so…”

“Va bene…” Carina rested her forehead against her girlfriend’s, understanding. “...I am too.”

“You’re scared of Mason going?” Maya tried to pull back to look at Carina properly, confused, only she jostled her shoulder, making her pale as the shock of the pain washed over her momentarily from her broken collarbone starting an argument with her ribs.

“Si…” Carina waited for Maya’s colour to return: this had been another thing she had been worried about, Maya trying to ‘embrace the pain’ and push through these moments without taking the time to recover from them, but so far she was winning that battle. Admittedly the promise of a kiss everytime Maya actually acknowledged she was in pain and needed time to recover was perhaps more strictly described as compliance through bribery rather than an absolute victory for Carina’s way of thinking, but she didn’t care, not while Maya was still in hospital at least. “...bene…” Carina gently brushed her lips over Maya’s, pulling back quicker than Maya liked, prompting the blonde to frown. “...Teddy’s still here…” she reminded quietly, not wanting to delay their friend for too long, but grateful she had created the opportunity for them to have this talk. “...I don’t think she came to help us make up.”

“Ah.” Maya smiled shyly and nodded, agreeing with Carina’s explanation, though recalling what they were talking about caused the smile to fade, accepting that somehow, somewhere along the line she’d made some sort of deal, probably with Bailey now she thought about it, that meant explaining to Teddy. “I want to tell Mason to sleep in the bed, or to move into his room at home…but I'm scared he'll…" Maya, trying to not cry again, somehow managed to do a sort of hiccupping gulp that immediately set all her incisions roaring in pain, along with her collarbone and ribs. 

“Bella…” As Carina tried to soothe Maya, wishing she hadn’t felt like she needed to be so strong, wishing they both didn’t keep tripping each other up but knowing it was inevitable that they would keep bumping into things and each other in their relationship, she didn’t notice Teddy disappearing. “...sshhh…” Letting Maya squeeze her shoulder as tight as she needed to, knowing her girlfriend’s left arm was the only set of muscles she could really tense and use to express her agony through, everything else caught up with injuries, Carina dropped the bed rail on the left side of Maya and carefully adjusted the bed height so she could climb on and lie beside her, moving Maya’s grip on her from her shoulder to her hand, offering what little soothing comfort she could, whispering random strings of Italian in between kisses pressed against hair and forehead and knuckles.

“Maya?” said Teddy quietly, returning to the room, holding a vial and needle. “Maya?” She moved up to the right side of the bed, grateful when Carina managed to capture Maya’s attention and help her to focus on Teddy. “I know you said no injectables, but Mason’s with Bailey and this is a one off - I’m going to give you some extra meds to help and this way they’ll kick in quicker, but they’re going to make you really sleepy really fast…” She began preparing the injection as Maya nodded and muttered some sort of thank you in between the spasms of pain. Her easy acceptance made Teddy suspect that Maya probably had woken up because she was too awake to sleep, but had then tried to test some of her muscles and movement and triggered fresh waves of pain. She wouldn’t be the first patient to pick a fight with a loved one to distract them from the concern and pleas to not overdo it, except in this instance the fight was tied up with the extra complexity of Mason’s situation and relationship with his sister.

“Bella…” Carina moved up onto her elbow, risking jostling Maya in the process but deciding it was worth the risk since it meant she could lean over just far enough to be able to kiss Maya properly. “...baciami…” she encouraged, leaning in, smiling when, despite the grimace of pain, Maya’s eyes brightened as she sought to meet Carina’s lips in a kiss that for once, Carina was delighted to deepen, letting for a brief moment her hypervigilance about not contributing to Maya accidentally aggravating her pain lessen a touch. As their tongues brushed against each other, instinctively teasing and dancing their uniquely choreographed routine, she felt Maya hum into her mouth, spontaneously sounding the note from the feeling of happiness that couldn’t be faked or hidden, reassuring Carina that deep down, they were still them. She felt the moment the drugs started to take effect when the grip on her hand started to lessen, Maya’s left hand slackening in its tightness of grip on her, but not moving away from her hand. In the back of her mind, Carina found herself conflicted between anger at Teddy for interrupting a beautiful kiss and relief that the medication kicked in so quickly, freeing Maya from her pain for a little while. 

Easing back from the kiss, wanting to have one last moment looking at a sleepily awake Maya, Carina looked into fuzzy, warm eyes. “Ti amo, dormire…” she encouraged, helping Maya settle comfortably on the pillow, smiling as she heard the now familiar sleepy mumbles that she knew, despite her ears not recognising them as such, were Maya’s determined efforts to tell her she loved her and wanted more kisses as she fell into a mixture of sedation and sleep.

“Grazie Teddy.”

“No problem.” Teddy was stood at the end of the bed, updating Maya’s chart with the details of the medication she’d just given Maya, one eye on the chart, one eye on Carina who for the moment was still lying on her side on the edge of the bed. “Comfy?” asked Teddy, coming up behind Carina, seeing there was enough space between the edge of the bed and the Italian’s back to bring the rail up.

“I know, I will move...”

“Not what I asked,” said Teddy, putting a hand on Carina’s back, between her shoulder blades, telling her to stay put. “Are you comfortable enough to stay there and get some sleep yourself?”

“Si.” Carina finally realised what Teddy was asking. “I am staying here.”

“Not quite the same thing, but I’ll take it,” joked Teddy, pulling the rail up behind Carina so she could lean back against it and not worry about falling off the bed. Normally she’d be furious with a patient’s partner for doing that, but Teddy knew that this was the only way her clearly exhausted friend was going to get some rest. Heading over to the closet, remembering her way around these rooms from the nights she spent in much the same position with Henry, she found the extra blankets. Returning to the bed, she shook one out and draped it over Carina, surprising her.

“Sssh, sleep.”

“But…”

“Doctor’s orders,” whispered Teddy firmly, tucking the blanket in around Carina, taking care that the extra weight of it didn’t land on Maya, who was deeply asleep now, no sign of lingering pain in her face, though she still had what Teddy was sure was a fairly firm grip on Carina’s hand. “I’ll do the obs checks myself.”

“Teddy…”

“I can do my charts in that chair probably better than my office.” She took a moment and checked the blanket one final time, deciding she’d pull Carina’s sneakers off so she’d be more comfortable and adjusting the blanket so her feet didn’t get cold. “Right, sleep. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Grazie Teddy…” With the sound of Maya’s steady, careful breathing in her ear, and the dual warmth of the familiar heat radiating from her piccolo riscaldatore of a girlfriend and the blanket around her, Carina finally gave in to the exhaustion that she’d been fighting these last couple of days, managing to put aside enough of the anxiety about Maya, about Mason, about how Maya was coping with Mason and just sleep, one final thought in her mind…

…perhaps Teddy was a good name for a puppy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stupido e impossibile per favore - stupid and impossible please  
> Si. la polizia è un problema per lui senza che sua sorella sia il pompiere… - Yes. The police are a problem for him without his sister being the firefighter...  
> piccolo riscaldatore - little heater


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All these loose ends I've created? Time to start a bit of weaving...warning - it's a bit of a rollercoaster as everyone (mostly Bishops) starts trying to reconcile their pasts with their presents and generally handle more baggage than Heathrow pre-pandemic. But check the tags, especially the ones that say everyone gets a happy ending :-)
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read, enjoy, kudos and comment - you're very kind and lovely :-)
> 
> Now....onwards....

“Thanks Frank.” Bailey nodded as they passed one of the night security guards as they entered the lobby which Mason had visited earlier, where the wall that could be ‘his’ to paint was.

“Where is everyone?”

“Getting on with their lives,” said Bailey bluntly, walking across the deserted lobby. “This entrance is closed at night, only the one on the other side, by the ER stays open.” However, in contradiction to her words, she walked up to the door and pulled it open, then stepped back from it, looking at Mason in challenge.

“What?”

“I asked my foster son what to do.” Bailey stuck her hands in the pockets of her white coat. “He’s 18, so younger than you, but he lived in the camps looking after his foster siblings for a couple of years. Your sister’s team brought him in one day when his foster sister asked for help because she thought he was dying. While he was on the ward I got to know him and by the time we could discharge him he was over 18. So I invited him to stay with us.”

“Us?”

“My husband Ben and our son, Tuck. Ben’s on your sister’s team, used to be a surgeon but is now a firefighter.” The pride radiating from Miranda as she talked about Ben was unmistakable. “Anyway, Joey, my foster son, his name’s Joey?” She saw Mason’s half nod, so kept going, praying her hunch and Joey’s advice worked. “Joey said you’d be twitching, caught between loyalty to whoever had given you the reason to make it this far the way you have and whatever you’re not letting yourself imagine could be your future.” Miranda’s body language and indifferent sounding tone of voice never changed, but she spotted the moment when Mason’s spine stiffened, telling her the same way all her patients told her, without words, when she zeroed in on the correct diagnosis. “At least, that’s what Joey said his twitch was.”

“What did he do?”

“His foster siblings have been placed with a new family who welcome him round twice a week after school to help them with their homework, hang out and help them adjust. Sometimes Tuck goes with him. Most weekends they come over and visit Joey at our house, especially in the summer when we’d have barbeques in the yard. The foster parents are good people. He’s working hard on his classes and is trying to decide if he wants to go to college.” Miranda looked around the lobby, giving Mason a moment to digest that, wondering if he would challenge her on the piece she’d left out.

“Doesn’t sound like he had a struggle.”

“By the time he was discharged? No. But I skipped the part where he was trying to refuse treatment and not focus on his rehab because he was too worried about what was happening to his siblings.” Miranda shrugged. “So we found where they’d been placed and they came in for a visit to see him.” She looked at Mason with the same firm look that generally worked rather well on interns. “And if I thought it was pizza and video games you needed, I’d ask you what your favourite toppings were.”

“I can’t remember,” said Mason quietly. “Why’s the door open?”

“Because if you still look at your sister and only see your father, I’m going to shove you through it myself right now.” The harshness of her words shocked him, and his face showed it. “Right, didn’t think so.” 

Turning her back on him, Miranda walked to the door and pulled it shut. Then she walked over to a bench seat that was facing towards the wall, sat down and patted the space next to her. In silent shock, Mason walked towards her, sitting down automatically where she indicated, his mind a blur as a result of what she’d just said...but she was right, at some point he’d started seeing his father’s face every time he thought about his sister, but that had changed since he met her team, her new family.

“What do I do?”

“What do you want to do?” asked Miranda, all the brusqueness of her earlier tone gone, replaced with the care and warmth that those that knew her well knew she had in limitless supply for those she chose to share it with. “Big or small, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

“Umm…” His leg bounced as he looked around the deserted lobby, his mind filling it with the memories of the people he’d met and the things he’d seen and learned in the last couple of days, about his sister and himself. “...drugs.” He smirked as he saw her turn to him in shock. “I’m a drug addict, it’s always going to be my first thought and Amelia’s helping me make sure my first thought about drugs is followed always by thinking about why I want to stay clean.”

“Alright then, what’s the second thing that comes into your mind?” asked Miranda, giving him points for bravery and honesty, but knowing now was not the moment to bring that up.

“My sister’s pretty awesome.” He outright laughed at her expression, her face engraving itself on his mind so he could draw it one day, once she’d said it was ok for him to draw her. “You disagree?”

“Oh no, Bishop’s plenty awesome…” said Miranda firmly. “...just wondering what she’s got to do to properly impress you.”

“Things she’s already done that I’m only just finding out about.” His quiet, serious honesty surprised them both. “Amelia told Andy that Maya said she was really bad at taking care of people but good at fixing things.”

“Does it matter if they make the person feel better?”

“That sounds like something Maya would say.”

“She did, to Amelia,” said Bailey, having heard it all from Amelia when she’d woken up in Carina’s office later on Sunday and found Bailey doing her charts. “Tell me another thing,” nudged Miranda, not wanting to get stuck in a particular thought for too long, knowing from her experience with Joey that a single reason wasn’t necessarily enough to help build a new life around. “Big or small,” she reminded him.

“I didn’t believe you when you asked me to paint this wall.”

“And now?”

“I believe you.” He looked at the wall, then back at her. “What do you think about a teddy bears picnic?”

“In general or…” Miranda turned her head to the wall, trying to picture it, understanding this was the beginning of him saying yes.

“Here…” He pulled his notebook out from the waistband of his pants, the habit of keeping what was precious close by him at all times now ingrained, and opened the back cover. “...if you don’t like it I can do something different, but…”

“Is that a teddy bear firefighter?” asked Miranda, looking at the little bear in the corner of the page with a helmet on it. “Wait, of your sister?” She looked at the bear stood next to it, seeing another bear with a white coat on. “And is that Carina?” She had no idea how she knew these two little drawings were her friends, because at first glance they were just a couple of teddy bears with costume elements that pointed towards a firefighter and surgeon, and yet, somehow, she couldn’t not think they were based on her friends.

“Yeah, I thought…if people don’t mind. I’d just meant to draw a couple of firefighter and doctor like bears, thought it might help the little kids understand you guys are the good guys, and…” He shrugged, then stood up, walking towards the wall. “...I hadn’t looked up when I had that idea, but maybe some trees and another picnic in the treetops? More bears, or like birds and monkeys maybe? For the kids to see from up there?” He gestured towards the wards, which in deference to the late hour, had their lights dimmed to help the children rest, but still illuminated the upper sections of the wall. “Maybe in the middle a view of the Sound, like the bears are on a hill? Something the parents can look at and the older kids can pretend to look at if they think they’re too cool for bears?”

“What about me?” asked Miranda, standing up and giving him his notebook.

“Mmm?”

“Will you put me in your painting?”

“Where do you want to be? Down on the grass or up in the trees?” He was joking, thought she was teasing him, about to tell him it was a ridiculous idea like so many except Maya had always told him.

“How about right there?” she asked, pointing to a spot on the wall.

“Oh. Sure.” He opened the notebook to a blank page and took a pen from the pocket of the Grey Sloan grey hoodie that Andrew had literally thrown at him as he’d walked past him earlier in the day, though Mason took the hint that it was for him to wear without debating it, and put it on. Soon the pockets were full of the pens and pencils, though the notebook stayed in his waistband, too big to fit the pocket of the hoodie without being folded. He drew quickly, his pen sounding loud on the paper as he used lines to make shapes, those shapes combining to bring another little bear to life. “How about that?” he asked a minute or so later, passing the notebook back to Miranda. 

“That’s me!” she exclaimed in delight, seeing a white coat, scrub cap wearing bear looking back at her from the page, but in the same way there was ‘something’ that made her think of Carina and Maya in the other two bears he’d drawn, she could see he’d meant this one to somehow be her. “This is incredible…”

“It’s just a quick sketch, the real one will be better.”

“So you’re painting my wall then?” she asked, hearing what she’d been waiting for, but still looking at the amazing ‘sketch’ he’d done. “Only you haven’t said yes or no yet.”

“Oh.” He scratched the back of his head as he put the pen he’d used back in his pocket. “Right.” He cleared his throat, remembering the conversation he’d had with Maya about how she had no opinion on whether or not he did the painting, because as Carina had said, he was the artist Bailey had asked to do it, but she did have an opinion about how he treated her friend, and if he said yes to Bailey he had to stick by his yes and finish the painting. “Thank you Dr Bailey, I’d love to paint your wall for the children to enjoy.”

“Excellent.” Bailey put her hand in her pocket, frowning when she discovered she’d not got a pen with her. “You got a sharpie or something in those pockets of yours?”

“Umm, sure…” He pulled out a handful of pens and pencils for her to look at, wondering what she wanted it for.

“RIght.” She picked up one of the coloured pens the shop sold for the younger kids to colour with and went up to the wall. “I think here works.” She took the cap off the pen and reached up, drawing a small circle on the wall and colouring it in.

“Dr Bailey, what…”

“Am I doing?” She finished colouring in the circle, then signed her name with the signature that was recognisable throughout the hospital and didn’t need her to print either her name or position by it. “Signing our deal.” She stepped back to admire her handiwork, then passed him the pen. “Last chance to twitch, door’s still unlocked Mason.”

“I…” He paused, his hand on the cap of the pen, making Miranda worry that she’d pushed him too far. “...would like to meet Joey someday…” said Mason quietly, thinking back to how their conversation started. “...and he’s right, there are some people I would like to go back to see, to let them know why I’m not going back.”

“How will they take it?” asked Miranda, wondering if they, whoever ‘they’ were would take his decision in a supportive way, or whether they’d prove to have a stronger connection than his sister did.

“They’ll be happy…” He was amused at her look of surprise. “...they’ve been trying to make me give my sister a chance since they’ve known me…” He shrugged. “...guess they saw something in her that I couldn’t.”

“Often the way,” said Miranda gently, knowing he wasn’t the first person to have struggled to see the true nature of a family member, good or bad. “Oh no you don’t…” she said, seeing him putting the pen in his pocket and tapping the wall. “...not without signing on our deal.”

“You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack, and trust me, I did not enjoy that experience enough to make jokes.” She tapped the wall again. “Sign the damn wall.”

He took the pen out of his pocket and went up to the wall, and, after a deep breath, signed under hers.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re scary?”

“Frequently.” She looked at the wall and nodded. “Now, we have camp beds for the parents of the little kids who have to stay. If I promise you they’re more uncomfortable than the floor if you lie on them wrong, will you sleep on one tomorrow, well tonight?” She didn't know how much sleep he was getting at the moment, but it was late enough that even if he did sleep now, it couldn't really count as 'tonight'.

“What about Carina?”

“What about her?” asked Miranda, sending an email to hospital security that they could lock the lobby door again before she forgot, only to catch on to his question. “Oh, yes, she’ll be sleeping in a bed again by next midnight. Now…” She turned back to look at the wall they’d just signed. “...what sort of paint and things do you need?”

“You want to talk about that now?” he asked, amazed that she was that interested, thinking she’d just palm him off onto someone now he’d agreed.

“It’s that or go terrorise some interns in the Pit, which while I find fun, I think they and you would enjoy it more if I stay here and talk about your wall…” She looked at him with a new thought. “...unless you’d like to see it?”

“It?”

“The Pit...Emergency Room.”

“Oh.” He swallowed, realising that was where his sister had been brought. “Umm, you go if you need to, I’ll be ok here.”

“Then here it is. If I’m needed they’ll page me.” Miranda was more than happy to stay here, she’d only been thinking about going to the Pit earlier because she had actually caught up on her charts for once. “Still too close to full moon for my liking, plus the New Year…” She headed back to the bench they’d been sitting on earlier, finding it gave a good view of the whole wall. “...so, where are you putting your sister?”

“Umm, I hadn’t thought about that yet…” admitted Mason, sitting down next to Bailey on the bench, finding she was completely unlike anyone he’d ever met, completely understanding why Maya had been so clear with him that whatever he did to Maya, he had to always be straight with the surgeon because she didn’t deserve to be messed around. Nor, he was realising now, did his sister deserve that “...but I think next to Carina?”

“Alright, does that mean I can have Ben with me?” asked Miranda, wondering when he’d spot what she’d done.

“That makes sense I guess…” He pulled out his notebook, turning to the page where he’d drawn from memory, while Andy slept for a bit in the plant room, his sister’s team sat around talking to Maya. He’d only seen them for a minute before Bailey had brought him to look at the wall, but it served as a helpful reminder now for working out who everyone was...a family, worried for his sister, who was how they’d all come together, how he’d met them all, met Miranda... “...wait…” He looked from the sketch to the wall, just about able to see where he and Miranda had signed their names, then at the surgeon.

“You disagree?”

“Well no, but…”

“Would you have agreed if I asked you outright?”

“Probably not…” He looked at the wall again, then turned to look at the lobby entrance, his mind thinking in lines of perspective and focal points and everything else he didn’t know the name of since he’d never gone to art school but nevertheless knew how to work with and use to make his painting and drawing come alive. “...anyone ever tell you you’re sneaky Dr Bailey?”

“Sometimes…” agreed Bailey, smiling. “...so, what sort of paint do you need?”


	14. Chapter 14

Shutting the door to Maya and Carina’s apartment behind her, Andy put her keys on the counter and looked around, unsurprised to see that it was looking almost immaculate despite no one having set foot in it since whenever Carina left for her shift on Tuesday. After their firework-sets-shed-on-fire call, Andy had signed off just before 5am - with the engine out they had more than enough firefighters to crew the Ladder and Aid Car, even without Sato joining them, enabling Andy to get a start on sorting out the stuff Carina wanted at the hospital. Sipping her coffee, Andy pulled out her phone, surprised to see no texts with packing instructions. Still, remembering that Carina had said there was a fire department kit bag of some sort under their bed which had things for Mason in it, Andy decided she’d start with that and see if there was anything else obvious before she rang Carina.

A few minutes later, the bag for Mason found, and put by Andy’s own bag in the hallway so she didn’t forget it, Andy headed back through to the bedroom, sipping her coffee and dialling Carina, knowing from her own experience of sitting with her father and Robert that for the patients the day started sufficiently early that just after 6am wasn’t too rude.

“Hello?”

“Who’s this?” Andy took her phone away from her ear and looked at the display in surprise, not expecting to hear an American voice that wasn’t Maya’s when she rang Carina.

“Andy?” Teddy had done the same thing as Andy, though she had the advantage of Carina being one of those super-organised people who not only saved contacts with proper names, but also somehow found the time to give them profile photographs as well. “It’s Teddy Altman.” She put aside her chart and stood up, stretching as she looked back at the chair with barely concealed venom - she did not remember them being that uncomfortable when she’d maintain her vigils by Henry… shaking herself back into the present, she headed over to the window, seeing the dark grey early morning had brightened into….a dark grey morning with sleet. “Carina’s asleep.”

“How did you manage that miracle?” asked Andy, sitting down on the end of Maya and Carina’s bed and letting out the sigh of relief she hadn’t realised she’d been holding.

“Not sure…” Teddy glanced at her watch, happy that she had a few minutes before she’d need to do the next obs check on Maya, something she didn’t usually do, but it meant she could ask the nurses to keep out of the room, giving Carina a greater chance of rest. “...but I think it helps that she’s curled up around Maya, who isn’t letting go…for one so tall she’s…”

“Able to get into really small spaces if it means she’s tucked up with Maya? Yeah, I know what you mean,” said Andy, able to picture how effectively Carina managed to wrap herself into what seemed like an impossibly tiny amount of space compared to the shorter Maya. “What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened?”

“I’m Maya’s best friend and lived with them Teddy…” warned Andy, trying to join the dots but still missing some bits. “You’re answering Carina’s phone, so you’re in the room with them, Carina’s asleep for a long time, which I think means you had to give Maya some extra meds and…” Andy looked at her watch, trying to remember what she knew of the general rhythms of Grey-Sloan. “...kicked the nurses out so Carina stayed on the bed with Maya claiming, what, charts?”

Silence.

“I’m going to guess I was mostly right.”

“That’s scary…” said Teddy, leaning with her back to the cool window, watching her friends get much needed rest. “...how did…”

“I told you, Maya’s my best friend, I see more of them being ‘them’ than you guys do because she relaxes around me more.” She sipped some of the coffee she’d bought on her way to the apartment, glad of the warmth of flavour and heat from the hot gingerbread latte in the cold, sleety morning. “And Carina lets slip how you guys are all softies and it’s the nurses who are the rule enforcers.”

“Sounds about right…” Teddy thought about what Andy said, about how she saw more of ‘them’ than the doctors did, because Maya could relax around her, which had her thinking back to that early Christmas Day morning chat with the Captain as they’d climbed the ladder at the Station - had that been Maya relaxing around her a bit too?

“She’s almost there with you Teddy…” said Andy suddenly, worried she’d maybe offended her, what would Teddy be, friend once removed? Was that the way cousins worked? “...she’s just…” 

“Split into an available part and a hidden part.” Teddy watched the sleet, trying to decide if it was turning from sleet to snow or the other way. “And you’re about the only person who sees the hidden bit and gets to know what’s going on in it.”

“Yeah, but how…”

“Did I know? Takes one to know one. Oh, and Carina obviously, as well as you.”

“Yeah…” As much as Andy wanted to ask Teddy what was in her hidden part and who got to see that part of her, she knew it was neither the time nor her place to ask, so she mostly changed the subject. “Mason too, once and still I think...speaking of, where is he?”

“Bailey’s got him...there was...we arrived in the middle of a row.” Teddy reached into her scrub pocket and checked her phone, seeing she had a couple of texts from Bailey, the first telling her Mason was asleep on the couch in Bailey’s office, the second swearing Teddy to secrecy but saying he’d agree to paint the wall and she was fairly hopeful he was also staying, though where and how Bailey had left for Maya to deal with.

“Ah, I was wondering when that would happen,” said Andy simply, not surprised. “How much do you now know?”

“Some? Enough…” Teddy chewed on her lip, debating what she shared before remembering what Andy had just said about Maya being her best friend. “...I knew about the drugs, now know when he had his first OD…” Which, her brain helpfully supplied, meant that there had been subsequent ODs as well, “...and know where he lives.”

“What was the row about?”

“On the surface? Or underneath?”

“You’re getting the hang of her quick,” was all Andy could immediately think to say, impressed that Teddy had managed to work out Maya’s distraction argument technique.

“Not sure I get much credit…” muttered Teddy, thinking back to how quickly Bailey sized up the situation. “...Bailey told them to kiss and make up while she took Mason for a soda and his confession. It was like…”

“Bailey Yoda we call that,” agreed Andy, knowing what Teddy meant, “but don’t tell her. Maya’s worried about Mason running again, isn’t she?”

“Yeah...she picked a fight with Carina about only sleeping in the chair, which Carina was doing because Mason was sleeping on the floor…”

“...like he’s afraid to get too comfortable?” Andy sighed, mentally throwing darts at the photograph she had in her mind of Lane Bishop, which she had not been able to dismiss from her mind since she’d learned the new stuff about the restraining order earlier on in her shift. “Like this is just temporary while he sees his sister’s ok?”

“Something like that...Andy?”

“Hmm?”

“Their place...it’s the one Maya had before they were together?”

“Yeah, she bought it once we were assigned to 19...she’d got some sponsorship money that her father never got hold of which she used for the bulk of it. Why?” The topic change threw Andy, but she went with it.

“How many bedrooms does it have?”

“Three. Haven’t you been?” Andy stood up, the mention of the apartment reminding her why she was there. ”I’m here now, had said to Carina I’d come by and get some things for them both.”

“Yeah, but only since she and Carina were living there together...look, this is going to sound really weird, but can you go into the spare bedroom? The one you don’t use?”

“Sure, they need me to grab something from the closet?” The only thing Andy really knew about the spare bedroom she didn’t use was that, aside from Vic crashing in it occasionally when she accidentally managed to render herself homeless, was that Maya had put some of her heavyweight winter clothes in the closet, the ones she rarely wore because they spent so long outside in the cold on their shifts that even Maya didn’t often feel like snowy hikes on their days off.

“No...what does it look like, like what colour is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Something Maya said...she wants to tell Mason to move into his room at home, but she’s scared he’ll run.”

“And you think…” Andy moved at speed through the apartment to the spare room, opening the door to the room she’d only been in a handful of times. “...oh.”

“Oh?” Teddy was on tender hooks, wondering if what she’d heard was correct and her hunch was right.

“Yeah…” Andy looked around, unable to put her finger on why exactly Teddy’s theory made sense, but it somehow just did. “...it’s like...I always thought it was finished like a hotel room is finished you know? But it’s…” She looked around, trying to work out how it didn’t feel right, how it managed to look finished enough that you didn’t look properly, so you didn’t see… “The walls are bare…” She ran her fingertip over the surface of the wall which she’d always assumed was just painted a super neutral white, only for her fingertip to come away with the tell tale faint dust that told her it was the plaster, yet to be sealed. “...unpainted, and the bed’s…” Andy sat down heavily on the bed by the headboard, knowing Maya kept it made up so the mattress and pillows didn’t pick up too much dust. Opening the top drawer of the bedside unit, she expected it to be empty, but it wasn’t. “It’s waiting for him to finish it.”

“How do you know it’s just not finished?” asked Teddy, remembering when she’d first moved to Seattle how long it took her to finally unpack and get most of her decoration done.

“You said you knew when he first OD’ed,” said Andy, not wanting to break a confidence, but needing to know what Maya knew, having a horrid thought. “When did she tell you it was?”

“The day she won her medal, he was here she was in London, why?”

“I don’t think she knows when exactly he OD’ed...he told Amelia and me earlier, in the plant room. I think it’s another thing Lane manipulated.”

“Would he remember though?” asked Teddy, thinking eight years was enough of a test on anyone’s memory, nevermind someone who was trying to remember when they took an overdose.

“For this, yes. I…” Andy lifted out the homemade sign, obviously made by a youngish child, intended to hang on a door, the piece of clay pressed flat by small hands that had left their palm prints visible from pressing down extra firmly. Stuck onto it were the letters to spell ‘MASON’, laid out in fat, bumpy sausage-shaped rolls of clay, painted in bright colours. Trapping her phone between her ear and her shoulder, wanting to use two hands to turn it over, Andy saw what she was and wasn’t expecting...the initials of the person who made it: MB, only Andy recognised that particular ‘MB’. It wasn’t quite identical, time and maturity changing it slightly but not enough to alter its character or look. Clay, paper, electronic screens...she knew those initials didn’t stand for Mason Bishop.

They stood for Maya Bishop.

“Is he staying?”

“Bailey thinks so, he’s agreed to paint the wall.” Teddy looked back at the bed, watching as both women appeared to still be fast asleep, Maya now more asleep than sedated. “That’s good isn’t it?”

“I hope so…” Andy debated with herself what she did with the door sign, before finally deciding it was safest staying exactly where she’d found it, so she put it back in the drawer. “Umm, so I was calling to find out what Carina wanted me to bring for her, from their apartment? She was going to text me things but that was before you know...oh, I forgot to say I thought you were really good.”

“At the press thing? Thanks...Maya was the one who really deserves the credit and praise, she was…” Teddy still didn’t really have the words to describe what Maya had achieved, both in terms of physically managing to complete the press conference, but also from finding the right words and learning them by heart so she could just say what she wanted to say. “...incredible.”

“Yeah, she’s really good at knowing what to say in that sort of situation, what she said at Robert’s hearing, to Dixon every time he tried to go for her…” Andy forced herself to stand up and set off back to Maya and Carina’s bedroom, to do what she’d come round to do in the first place. “Should I just grab Carina some really obvious basics then? Like underwear and something easy to wear like jeans and a shirt or something? I’m guessing she can keep getting scrubs as a back up?” Andy knew she was rambling, but she was still somewhat thrown by everything that had happened in this shift on top of the last few days. “And what about Maya? I’m guessing she needs some things doesn’t she? I mean toiletries and underwear and oh…” Suddenly Andy remembered how matter-of-fact Maya had been about needing Carina’s help in untangling her lines and sheet, reminding Andy of where her injuries were, of what her friend currently was and wasn’t able to do. “...or socks? Or a book, she’s always reading a book…”

“Andy?”

“Hmm?”

“Breathe.”

“But…”

“I’m sure Carina would be very glad of some clean underwear, and if her wardrobe slums it as far as jeans and a shirt, that sounds good too. And if Maya’s got a favourite loose shirt or two, something that’s baggy and buttons down the front, those would be good for either later today or tomorrow as I think we’ll be able to see how she feels about sitting up.”

“Really? That’s good right?”

“Yes, that’s very good. And some underwear for Maya wouldn’t hurt….definitely not today but again, maybe tomorrow or the day after, depending on how the scans show she’s healing….umm, but not…”

“Lace or sexy? Yeah, I guessed as much. She’s more of a boy short type, would that work?”

“Yes.”

“Anything else? Like some shorts or something?”

“Loose and baggy...but listen Andy, you’ve still got your stuff there, why don’t you sleep for a couple of hours, or at least rest for a bit? Carina should be waking up in another hour or so, we’ll have to wake Maya for more meds and checks then too, and then Carina can text you any last minute extras for you.”

“I’m…” Andy was about to insist she was fine, but a yawn caught her by surprise.

“...going to listen to the doctor and go lie down for a bit?” prompted Teddy, deciding it was time to play dirty. “This is a long road for all of us if we’re going to get Maya through this Andy, two hours rest for you isn’t going to make any difference to her but will make a huge difference for you. And she’s going to need you rather more in the next few days and weeks than she or Carina need clean knickers in the next two hours.”

“Yeah, ok…” Andy allowed another yawn to happen without fighting it. “...thank you Teddy. Oh, and Happy New Year.”

“And to you, now, go sleep.”

As she put Carina’s phone back in her pocket, reaching for her own to see what other messages and emails she’d had while she’d been focussed on her charts, Teddy recalled the pride Miranda had had when she’d explained how as well as her SFD cap having ‘19’ on it, she was now the honorary ‘Station ‘Mom’’ instead of Carina, whose recounting of that whole close call had Teddy and Amelia almost falling off their chairs with laughter. And now Teddy was starting to get to know the rest of Maya’s team a bit more too...she understood why Carina and Maya had reacted the way they did to ‘Station ‘Mom’’, why Miranda was such the perfect choice...and why they were all rallying around Mason too. They weren’t colleagues, weren’t friends, they were family, and a family Teddy felt like she was having the privilege to briefly be a part of.

Looking up at Maya and Carina, Teddy couldn’t help but smile - Maya’s head was turned towards Carina’s, her left hand now relaxed, fingers tangled with Carina’s and Carina’s leg was resting in the tiny gap down the side of the bed, lightly touching Maya’s uninjured left leg but applying no pressure. Even in the most extreme of circumstances and sleep, they somehow managed to still ‘fit’ and, despite what they might say or feel, it was clear to Teddy that, as far as the Station 19 family was concerned, these two were now the glue that bound them together.

“Mmm…” 

Teddy leaned forwards, unsure at first who had made the indistinct noise.

“Car…” It was Maya, starting to stir.

“...essere trop’ rumor’so...è ora didorm.., non ess’ resveglio comeun stupido...” mumbled Carina, turning slightly forwards like she was trying to keep Maya in bed, only to jolt herself awake when she felt wrong and remembered just in time that she wasn’t at home in their bed, that it wasn’t Maya being noisy and getting up to go for a run.

“Morning…” whispered Teddy from where she was standing at the end of the bed, not yet prepared to return to the chair.

“Buongiorno...” Carina blinked sleepily, acknowledging Teddy’s presence but still mostly concentrating on trying to wake up properly without disturbing Maya, which was difficult given with the bed rail up she couldn’t get off the bed.

“Carina…” mumbled Maya, opening her eyes, her frown, which told Teddy she was probably being woken by the discomfort of her injuries, which would be right on schedule for her next round of medication, disappearing and being replaced by a bright smile when she saw her girlfriend. “...hi.”

“Buongiorno bella…buon anno...”

“Is it?” Maya’s face fell as she worked out she was missing a day or two again. “Oh, Happy New Year...you slept here?” asked Maya, starting to remember the argument she’d picked.

“Si, Bailey ordered and Teddy helped.” Carina leaned back slightly. “Actually, Teddy trapped me, you are put with me now...no?”

“Stuck with me.”

“Si, you are stuck with me, unless...” Carina’s instinct to worry that she was hurting Maya died on her lips when she saw Maya’s smile returning. “..cosa?”

“I like being stuck with you…” Maya tried to reach for Carina’s lips with her own, but their heads weren’t quite in the right place. “...I can’t reach…” she grumbled, her lips pouting, making Carina grin.

“Si, ti bacerò bella…” It wasn’t the perfect start to the year, that would involve them waking up at home, in their own bed, with Maya not injured...but given everything, she’d take any option that let her lean forwards and feel Maya’s lips against hers, feel her kiss returned. 

Everything else? That was just temporary,


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this one is the heaviest, and the longest....and is where Mason and Maya stop sharing bits of their story with everyone but each other and start, well....read on and find out.
> 
> This contains references to past drug overdoses and less than great childhood experiences and so forth as consistent with what's in the show. If that's not a great topic for you and you wish a 'drama lite' version please step out of this chapter when Mason asks Maya if she is 'still goofy?' and join in again next chapter.

“I feel…” Maya was looking around her hospital room, taking it all in. “...tall,” she said finally, looking at Carina finally, fairly certain her girlfriend was trying not to laugh. “Go on, laugh.”

“No.” Nevertheless, Carina did smile.

“You can, it’s fine.” Maya knew she probably sounded silly, but after being flat on her back since she arrived at Grey-Sloan on Tuesday, to be now sitting up, well, half up - the same sort of angle they’d been sitting at by the pool when ‘Todd’ disturbed them...even that small amount of verticalness was quite surprising.

“I am happy,” agreed Carina, standing by the side of Maya’s bed, enjoying being able to look at Maya without having to be leaning right over into her field of vision, “but I understand what you mean. It looks different no?”

“It’s sleeting.” Maya could now see out of the window, which for January 1 in Seattle, wasn’t necessarily a great thing.

“Si.” Carina turned and looked out of the window, finding the sky was still the same flat grey it had been for the last few days. “Aie!” She turned back around, just in time to stop herself from falling onto Maya by putting a hand down on the bed behind her girlfriend’s head….her grinning girlfriend’s head.

“Hi…” said Maya shyly, moving her fingers from the waistband of Carina’s scrubs where she’d given her a firm tug to get her to come closer. “...sorry, that...didn’t quite work how I wanted to.”

“You are not in pain?”

“I’m fine…” Maya slipped her hand around Carina’s hip, tensing her left arm muscles, deliberately doing the exact opposite to what they spent most of their time training to never do - use her arm muscles without engaging any in her back or abdomen. “...arm’s a bit stiff, nothing else.” She managed to coax Carina closer to her this time, very aware that Carina was scrutinising her face closely, knowing that her girlfriend would put a stop to her silliness at the first sign of her overdoing it, but this was genuinely pain-free. “I promise, I’m just using my arm...feel…” She smiled when she saw Carina reach for her forearm, taking her literally. “No, umm…” Maya caught her lip in her teeth as she tried to remember the anatomy drawings from the strength and conditioning book she’d practically memorised by her early twenties, knowing it better than most physiotherapists she’d met. “...my left shoulder, put your right thumb on my collarbone and let your hand rest on my shoulder.”

“Bella…” warned Carina, not wanting to risk doing anything that might push Maya into ‘overdoing it’ territory, especially considering she’d only been sitting up for twenty minutes.

“Trust me?” Maya looked imploringly at her girlfriend, knowing she didn’t have much of a track record when it came to listening to her body and actually following what it was telling her, but she was determined to try and be better this time. Better than better this time: she wanted to do everything right, including trying to share with Carina. “Please? I just want you to feel something for a moment.”

“Un momento…” warned Carina, dutifully putting her right thumb gently on Maya’s unbroken collarbone and letting her hand rest on the top of her shoulder, her fingers splayed out across the top of Maya’s still very well developed but very stiff trapezius muscle. “...si?”

“Tell me what you feel…” said Maya, applying gentle pressure to Carina’s hip, knowing she’d not move this time because of the angle she was stood at.

“You are pushing my hip…” grumbled Carina, only for her eyes to widen when she realised what else she could feel, or rather couldn’t feel. “...stop? So I can…” She felt the push from Maya fade at her hip, but still felt nothing change under her fingers. “...there is no change…” she marvelled, instinctively starting to massage the stiff muscle under her fingers. “You…”

“...only used my arm, I promise.” Maya increased the pressure at Carina’s hip, enjoying the massage, knowing also that there was no way she could fake her claim about being able to control how and where she drew her strength from with Carina massaging the top of her shoulder.

“You are…” Carina felt Maya’s hand relax, shifting from physiotherapy demonstration to affection, feeling Maya’s fingers start to work their way under the Seattle FD t-shirt she was still wearing. “...why are you smiling like that?”

“Mmm?” Maya tried to look innocent, but that had never worked well for her with anyone, nevermind Carina. “Umm…” Maya was crumbling fast. “...ok, but before I tell you, please remember I’m injured and do not elbow me?”

“Ma...ya…” 

“I was thinking about Amelia.”

“MAYA!” Carina, knowing that whatever the real explanation was, it was going to be something small and probably silly, enjoyed being able to just have fun with her girlfriend after all those days of worry, so she pulled her hand away from Maya’s shoulder in mock horror, like she’d just been burned.

“Remember when she came into your office demanding a kid who sleeps through the night and multiple orgasms?”

“Si.”

“She squeezed my arm after discovering how heavy my kit bag was…and decided I wasn’t ‘Captain Softie’.”

“Si, then she stayed next to you so I went to check the boards and found Bailey…” That Carina remembered, though now she thought about it, there had been something surprising she’d not thought about at the time. “...How did Amelia stay standing with you so calmly? She is usually so….” Carina waved her hands about, illustrating her point that Amelia on too much caffeine becomes excessively animated with her hands, and it gets worse if she stands still.

“That’s why I was thinking about her just now...put your hand on my upper arm like she did?” Once Carina’s hand was in place, Maya tensed her bicep, waited for Carina’s expression to change from a thoughtful frown to a tentative smile, then relaxed and tensed it again, and again. “For some reason that distracted her from being...distracted.”

“Mmm…” Carina was finding it rather distracting too, but probably for different reasons to Amelia had, or at least, for Amelia’s own good hopefully different reasons.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Maya quietly, when it became clear she’d lost Carina to her thoughts, worried that what she’d meant as a silly comment to distract them both from the marathon session she’d just had with all six surgeons involved in her case not just Teddy, seemed to have had a different effect on her girlfriend.

“Gold Medals and hose drills,” said Carina honestly, moving a bit further up the side of the bed then carefully sitting down, concentrating on making sure she wasn’t squashed against Maya, glad that she could now sit on the side of the bed and face a more upright Maya. “And muscles.”

“In general or specific ones.”

“Yours bella.”

“Oh.”

“You are surprised?”

“I meant specific like traps or calf or…” Maya’s brain was suddenly blank for the names of muscles. “...not specific like mine rather than someone else’s.” She looked a bit despondent when she connected the elements of Carina’s ‘thoughts’. “Not much use with a hose. And couldn’t win any medals before this, nevermind…”

“Do you want a night on the couch that much?” asked Carina sharply, raising her eyebrow in challenge, pleased when Maya looked worried by the suggestion and shook her head.

“Bene. I was thinking about how lucky I was that you did so many hose drills...and wondering if your ability to think about individual muscles like you do was because that was how firefighters train...or because you are the only firefighter with an Olympic Gold Medal.” 

Carina had seen the scans they had done of Maya’s abdomen, seen the absence of fat (which she had first hand experience of) but also seen the layers of muscle, sleek and strong, a lifetime’s work by a professional athlete who maintained that professional mindset towards her training even now it was just one of her tools of her trade, like her turnouts. Carina, like Teddy and the others, had lost count of the number of abdominal scans they had looked at over the years, with Teddy and Owen especially familiar with scans of soldiers with above average muscle mass. But collectively they had little to no experience of the ultimate elite 1% of the 1% that Olympic level excellence represented, and even Link, with his experience working with professional sportsmen, had been surprised and impressed. 

It had made looking at the damage wrought to Maya’s body all that more distressing for Carina, seeing not just the immediate threat to life the bullet wounds posed, but also seeing how much dedication and commitment to that elite level of excellence was stored in her girlfriend’s body, in those muscles that were not only damaged by the bullet, but in the others that would fade during the months of careful recovery. And made her secretly wonder if she was now also in mourning for the more personal, intimate displays of raw strength like when Maya just lifted her out of her lap enough to shed clothes...or ‘one’ kiss lasting ten slow turns during which Carina’s feet never touched the floor, but she’d quickly told herself off for being selfish and missing the point.

“Oh.” That was not what Maya had expected, and not something she’d previously thought about. “A bit of both I think.” She saw Carina’s look of surprise. “Do you really want to know?” Maya had never really explained all that much about what she did to stay her definition of ‘fit’.

“Si, but only if you want to talk about it…” She reached up and tidied some stray strands of hair away from Maya’s face, feeling the natural accumulation of oils in her hair, reminding her that yesterday’s plan had meant to be for a bed-bath. “...I do not want to put salt in the cut.”

Maya’s grin was out of place given the potential delicacy of the topic and delightfully familiar.

“Salt on the cut?”

“Rub salt in the wound.”

“Why would I rub…” Carina shook her head, finding even more wrong with the ‘correct’ version this time than she normally did.

“I don’t mind talking about it…” assured Maya, finding it strange that she’d never actually mentioned this before to Carina given all the other random elements of her professional life they had talked about. “...I’m not sure it’s that interesting really. There are fitness standards set by department that start with getting into the Academy and become stricter until you graduate, then might get stricter again if you take specialist courses.” She felt Carina’s hand return to her left hand and tangled their fingers together on instinct. “So most of us stick to variations of those as exercise routines.”

“Like hose drills?”

“More like lifting weights in the gym to replicate the hose drills…” Maya was looking at somewhere in the middle distance only she could see, her memory serving back to her snapshots of lifting weights and bags of sand as she prepared for the Academy, then moving to hoses… “...you start, before you go to the Academy, just lifting weights, anything really that works for the lift patterns, then at the Academy you learn to do it without dropping the hoses and tools and getting them tangled…” That was a humiliation she’d avoided fortunately, but Andy had come close once or twice, which was when Maya’s coaching side had emerged. “...as Probies you get all the chores which includes more hoses...and when you’re not Probie, you go into the gym and back to weights to leave the hoses for the next Probie.” She blinked and looked at Carina, a faint smile on her face as she thought about all the different fitness standards they had. “Except it’s not just hoses.”

“Si…” teased Carina, leaning in and sneaking a kiss from her thoughtful girlfriend. “...you have ladders too.”

“Funny…” Maya wanted to try and steal a kiss back, but she was still only just over the shock of sitting up for the first time, with the combination of stiff muscles and sore incisions serving as a very good reminder to not try and lean forwards any further. “...but yeah, they require a different set of workouts. And it’s tougher when…” Maya trailed off, the scale of her future challenge hitting her mid sentence.

“When?”

“When you’re not also going out on calls all the time.” She saw Carina’s frown, so tried to work out how to explain it. “You can always spot a cadet in the gym at headquarters, because they’re doing their workout with a backpack.”

“A backpack? That is uncomfortable…”

“Yes, but the training and tests are done wearing a vest that’s…” Maya thought for a moment. “...50lbs. So a rookie mistake would be thinking because I could run up the stairs to your old office in 3 minutes I would ace the test.” Maya paused to see if Carina had spotted the purpose of the vest.

“Oh, because when you visited me you were just in your blue shirt and jacket? The vest is for the rest...but that is a lot, dividere per due venticinque meno un decimo ventidue punto cinque, 22.5kg? Your coat is not that heavy no?”

“No, my coat is not that heavy, but the coat and pants and oxygen tank are.” She tugged Carina’s hand with hers, trying to signal she wanted to steal a kiss of her own, but needed Carina’s help, finding her thinking aloud mental arithmetic unexpectedly hot, especially when she still hadn’t quite got past Carina wearing her uniform t-shirt. “Mmm…” Maya tried to deepen the kiss, but Carina pulled back before she could be successful, causing Maya to frown in exaggerated annoyance, but return to the conversation. “And there’s extra weight added for the stair climb.”

“Eh?” Carina’s expression suggested she felt there was a serious question about their sanity at this point. “Why?”

“The test is mimicking a skyscraper type situation. Then we have to take hoses in with us to connect up as we go...so we get another 25lbs added for that test.”

“And after that you collapse?”

“And after that you do the rest of the test, fast.” Maya caught her lower lip, thinking back to the original point of Carina’s question. “I have always done the same training the others do...most of the tests are quite specifically connected to being able to do the job skills safely...I guess I just never had to worry about trying to reach the cardio or running levels as I already had them…” She smirked, struck by a sudden memory from the Academy. “...I sucked at the bleep test in the beginning though.”

“Bleep test?” It took Carina a moment to place it. “Ah, when you run end to end before the beep and it gets faster?” At Maya’s nod, Carina’s confusion intensified. “But it is running, you are good at that…”

“I’m good, or rather was good at running in 400m long circles in spikes…” Following her visit to Naomi to show her some of her Olympic stuff on Sunday, Carina now knew what Maya meant by her ‘spikes’. “...on a track, not up and down a short line in sneakers having to turn on the spot. It took me a while to work it out.”

“But you did.”

“Yeah, I did…” Maya frowned, mentally logging up what she’d do in a normal week. “...we get an hour of gym time every shift, plus whatever we do on our calls…” That was the downside of being Captain, she didn’t get to be as physical at the majority of their calls, so she had upped her gym work to compensate after the first week, once she’d spotted the problem. “...and then we all have our other stuff we do...Andy goes rock climbing, Travis got into cycling…” She’d gone on rides with him sometimes, though she was still fundamentally happiest working out in her own company. “...and I carried on doing everything I’d always done, except the track specific stuff.”

“When did you last run on…” That didn’t sound right, so Carina had another go. “...last run in spikes?”

“Oh, umm…” Maya knew the answer to that question off the top of her head, but still stumbled a little. “...the way you mean? The Final.”

“Which fi…” As Carina asked, she realised there was only one. “The medal? That was the last time you wore those spikes?”

“No.” Maya looked at the end of the bed to the lump in the bed that was her feet, her ankle currently the subject of some debate, with Link wanting to have another scan, certain he could make it better, though Maya wasn’t convinced, nor really able to comprehend having more stuff wrong with her just now. “I messed up my ankle in the race, couldn’t run for a few months after. It was April, I was allowed to properly run again. I went down to the college track, it was spring break and they’d always let me train there. But it...it didn’t feel right, the first few paces of warm up were feeling strange...obviously...I mean I was coming back from an injury, but I couldn’t see…” She didn’t know there was moisture running down her cheeks, just kept running her fingers over the back of Carina’s hand, lost in the memory. “...I knew I was going to the Fire Academy, and running in spikes wasn’t something firefighters did or needed so I took them off and put my sneakers back on and went home.”

“Have you been on a track since?”

“Mmm?” The new voice caught both Maya and Carina off guard, but Maya recovered the quickest, recognising her brother’s voice. “No Mas, that was the only time.”

“But didn’t you miss it?” asked Carina, surprised by Maya’s total turning away from something that had been such a big part of her life by then.

“I was running every day.”

“Si, but the way you described the feeling...the way the trials gave the children the chance to practice, it sounded like a special thing, like...the difference between walking in the street and walking in the sea.” That, Maya knew, what the thing Carina missed especially keenly, was not being able to walk in the sea as a way to put life back into perspective - they had the sea, but the Puget Sound wasn’t the Mediterranean.

“Umm…” Mason came forwards, hovering at the bottom of the bed, not wanting to interrupt, but seeing this was maybe the moment he had to take if he was going to take the advice Andy and Amelia had given him in their own ways about how, if he was staying, he needed to tell his sister the truth. “...you know I’ve been talking to Amelia.”

“Yes, but I said you didn’t need to share anything about it, and she wouldn’t tell us anything either,” said Maya, almost bracing in reflex for his challenge and accusation of interference.

“Yeah, no, it’s not that.” He scrubbed his hair with his hands, trying to inject himself with energy and courage to continue, knowing it would get easier once he’d started. “I think there’s some stuff you don’t know that I guess I always thought you did.”

“About?”

“Bella…” warned Carina gently, worried that Maya was becoming defensive without reason, knowing that whatever it was he wanted to say he was finding a struggle to say with any fluency. “....why don’t you sit here Mason?” suggested Carina, standing up and indicating where she had just been sitting. With Maya sitting a bit more upright, it was now possible for Carina to stand next to the bed and Maya still hold her hand and see her, but also have Mason in her eyeline and close enough for the siblings to reconnect.

“Oh…wow, you’re sitting up!” He’d come into the room after spending some time in the lobby looking at the wall and watching the way people moved around while Maya had her big doctors’ meeting, then come back and immediately been caught up in what they were talking about, it bringing back painful memories that he knew he needed to make sure she knew the truth about, prompting him to miss the obvious. “This is good news right?”

“Si, this is very good news. As is the very boring broth she will get for lunch and complain about!”

“Since when do you complain about food?” asked Mason, sitting down nervously and sitting so close to the edge of the bed he almost fell off, prompting Maya to roll her eyes at him as she waved him to try again.

“It’s fine, no holes that side..” she joked, far more relaxed about people who weren’t Carina or Teddy being on the left side of the bed than the right. “...and you’ve not tried Carina’s cooking yet.” She immediately stopped, worried she’d pushed him.

“I thought that was a cliche?”

“What was?” asked Carina, deciding she’d got enough space to sit down on the bed too, and lean against the pillow next to Maya given Mason was sitting further away from Maya’s hips than Carina had done. It wasn’t the most comfortable position she could be in, but it did mean that Maya was almost tucked up against her, which if this was going to be a difficult conversation for the siblings, was probably helpful.

“Italians being amazing at food.”

“Ah.” Carina didn’t really know how to respond to that.

“All the Italians I know are amazing at food,” said Maya after some thought. “Though I only know Carina and Andrew as people who happen to be Italian.”

“What are the others then?” asked Mason, trying to work out the significance of the distinction.

“Italians who work in restaurants and coffee shops.” She leaned back and looked up crookedly at Carina, amused to see her amused. “But she’s still the best.”

“Are you still goofy?” asked Mason, curious to see this sillier side of his sister. “From medication?” Seeing Maya’s suddenly serious look, he thought now was as good a time as any to try and explain. “You can mention drugs, it’s alright. And you should have whatever is the best stuff…” He’d picked up on there being something missing from his sister’s bed fairly early on after she’d woken up and stayed awake, sometime late on Wednesday afternoon, not at first able to place what had changed. “You know I could only remember stuff if I drew it...I drew…” He reached for his notebook which was still tucked in the back of his pants, then turned to one of the earliest pages, showing Maya and Carina.

“That’s me…” Maya looked up at him, not recognising some of the things around the bed, some of the things she was attached to. “...when?”

“Tuesday night, technically Wednesday morning.” He pointed to the box on its own stand that wasn’t by the bed by Wednesday late morning. “I asked Amelia what that was yesterday, once I realised you no longer had it.”

“The morphine pump.” Carina had wondered when he would notice.

“I had other meds Mas…”

“Yes but…”

“And it wasn’t just because of you.” It was, because as much as she respected Robert’s route back to sobriety, and would welcome Andy into the apartment without a second thought, it was only Mason she had been worrying about making sure felt safe in her room just now, but she wasn’t sure that was a level of honesty they were ready for.

“The tall guy?” Mason tried to picture when he’d seen them all in their uniforms, his memory visual. “Sullivan? But some call him Probie and one guy just glares a lot?” He smiled the smile that was identical to Maya’s when she’d understood something Carina had said in Italian she’d never heard before, like she’d just won a precious prize for solving an unsolvable puzzle. “I told you, I read the papers if they had fire stories in them. The guys would keep them for me.”

“Guys? Your…” Maya wished she didn’t have perfect recall of their last angry conversation, when he’d flung his words at her. “...people who care about you?”

“More like neighbours.” She was right, they were the people he said ‘cared about him’ and, in their way, they did. But he was starting to understand what they had been telling him then, and more so after they’d seen her and made the connection to the firefighters who kept coming and helping rather than preaching...theirs was a support and care that was very different to what his sister had been offering if he’d been able to allow himself to see it then, and very different to what he was starting to feel a little bit a part of now. “But I read about his hearing, and what you did for him...umm, can we talk?” If he didn’t carry on now they’d mentioned the ‘D’ word, he wasn’t sure when he’d next get the courage.

“I will go…”

“No!” He stood up abruptly, nudging his sister’s leg in the process, making him flustered and even more nervous.

“Mas…” Maya tried to reach forwards for him, frustrated that she knew she must not lean forwards as that would give him an opportunity to worry about her and they’d lose this moment. “Mason, it’s fine…look.” 

With great concentration, and fairly certain she’d get a telling off from someone for overdoing it at some point, but not prepared to risk him bolting again, Maya tensed her left quad muscles in her uninjured thigh and moved her left leg outwards a bit so he could see she was able to move her leg and not end up screaming or on the ceiling with shock. “That leg’s fine.” She felt as much as she heard her girlfriend’s quiet ‘hmph’ at that not entirely truthful statement. “At least, it’s fine in that direction.” She was not looking forward to trying to pull her thigh up to her body, knowing that movement would not be possible without some of her abdominal muscles trying to kick in. “Do you want Carina to stay?” Maya already knew from her tentative attempts to rebuild a relationship with her mother that Carina’s presence had a beneficial effect on the interaction, and Maya knew it was because she remembered to try not to lash out so fast if things were said that she didn’t know what to do with. Not that they’d got very far with rebuilding that relationship, even with Carina as peacemaker. “She’s a bit like Max was…” She looked at Mason curiously, wondering if he’d remember who, or rather what Max was.

“Prettier though.”

“Well obviously,” agreed Maya, pleased he was sitting down on the bed again, feeling Carina playing with a strand of her hair as she listened to them, staying out of the conversation despite them talking about her. “I mean, give me some credit?” she teased, trying to think how to describe what Max had been, only to see what Mason was doing and smiling. This was her little brother, from about as soon as he could properly hold a pencil, he would be drawing.

“That’s Max…” he said, turning the notebook round and showing Carina a quick doodle of a rather lop-sided, rather sad looking but in a quite cute sort of way, non-specific sort of generic monster type stuffed toy. “He was Maya’s, but she gave him to me to talk to about my nightmares when she was away at track meets.”

“Then he’d talk to him in my presence about the girls he fancied at school...because he couldn’t ask his big sister what girls liked and didn’t like, but he could talk to his pet monster and hope I just told him spontaneously.”

“It worked didn’t it?” He put the notebook down. “Max was the best listener…” He looked at the dressing on the back of his hand, the instinct to fidget making him want to pick at the tape, but he thought that would not be smart, so he put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, feeling the pens he now had. “Do you remember my bike?”

“Your birthday bike? Of course...it was blue, I was so jealous.” Maya had not appreciated a pink bike as a five year old, and being a smaller child, it had taken her a very long time to not only grow ‘into’ but also grow ‘out of’ it. “You were so excited, we went out onto the driveway for you to ride it but…” Maya might have tried to brush off her reaction when the rest of the memory hit her, or maybe even deny she’d been affected by it, but she was still attached to a frikkin heart and oxygen monitor.

“Maya…” warned Carina gently, trying to get her to look up. “...eyes on me Maya…”

When that didn’t work, Carina waved at Mason to move off the bed so she could get in front of Maya, though she did, as an afterthought, catch hold of his hand as she turned, deciding she didn’t want him running like his sister might.

“Maya...eyes on me bella…” With her right hand, she caught hold of Maya’s chin and gently guided her face so she was able to look Carina in the eye. “....breathe...that’s it...breathe again bella…” She was dimly aware of the door open and footsteps running in, but they came to an abrupt stop some distance from the bed, so she ignored them. Certainly whoever they were hadn’t prompted any sort of reaction from Mason - she’d not felt him try to resist her grasp of his hand, or try and pull away from her, which was a relief, as she’d ended up had her left arm twisted at a not so great angle. “...breathe bellissima…” Carina allowed herself to be Maya’s doctor for a moment and glanced at the monitors, which were showing her heart rate reducing and her oxygen level increasing. “We are good here grazie.”

“Yes…” said Maya quietly but clearly, looking away from Carina to the nurse, recognising her as one of the ones she’d seen every day she’d been here, fairly certain she understood Italian though she wasn’t sure how she thought that. “...thank you.”

“What just happened?” asked Mason, sounding more worried than Carina had heard him since the first time she’d spoken to him, when he’d first arrived in the waiting room and didn’t really know who anyone was except Andy and Andrew, though he didn’t then know Andrew was Carina’s brother.

“I...have…panic attacks...sometimes…” said Maya carefully, her face a picture of concentration on breathing and trying to untangle what had prompted that particular attack. “...but it is the first time...that was...a memory.” She kissed the inside of Carina’s wrist, since she could reach that, then held her hand out towards Mason, knowing he might not take it, but at least encouraging him it was ok to return to the bed, Carina moving back around to the side, making a note to privately tell Maya how proud she was of how quickly she got her own attack under control, with the monitors making everything just that little bit more stressful for everyone, especially Maya. “Your bike was hit by a car.”

“Yeah.”

“You were injured?” asked Carina when the siblings seemed to be stuck in silent contemplation of what she imagined couldn’t be a very healthy memory.

“No. I was on the sidewalk, pedalling towards Mom and then…”

“There was a drain cover, it hadn’t been put back properly after some inspection I think…” 

She’d not known that then, but Maya had subsequently lifted out her fair share of covers and knew how they only went back properly one way, and if you didn’t get it right first time it was easy for many to just walk away and leave them loose. “...your training wheel caught it, I think, pulled you over just enough that you went on an angle into the road.” She blinked, looking at him. “Do you remember anything?”

“Just you puking in the grass and the yelling.”

“Ah.” Maya closed her eyes, wishing he hadn’t mentioned puking as that was all she could now taste, and having not tasted anything for four days, that wasn’t the flavour she’d wanted to start with. “The road had quite a big gutter space, you weren’t going that fast, not really, but it was fast enough for you to get in and out of the gutter and then stop right there. And you didn’t really know how to start, we’d just been pushing you off and the pedals started turning your feet.”

“How old were you?” asked Carina, realising she had no idea if she was supposed to be picturing a fifteen year old or a five year old Maya, though training wheels made her think Mason was probably nearer five than fifteen.

“It was my fourth? Fifth birthday?”

“Fourth.” Maya opened her eyes and looked at him, smirking a bit at another, less traumatic part of the memory. “I was so mad you got the bike for your fourth birthday, as I’d had to wait until I was five, which meant I went to school still with training wheels, but you were a boy, so…” She returned Carina’s hand squeeze, absently noticing that Mason hadn’t actually let go of Carina’s hand despite sitting down, but she didn’t say anything. 

“Mom couldn’t see the car, we were on the side of the street where she was the look-out for traffic, ‘just in case’ she said, so I wasn’t supposed to do anything except cheer you on and help you stop.” She took a careful breath, thinking about how her ribs really didn’t cope well with a properly deep breath just in time and managing to keep it shallow enough to not irritate anything. She’d managed to not think about this moment in over twenty years, and while she didn’t really care to think about it now, she was prepared to go through it all once more if it helped Mason, never having quite believed there would ever be a moment where she could help her brother again. “But you’d stopped, just before the little hump, you know?” He nodded, thinking of the ‘little hump’ down the street from their house which was the top of a shallow gradient. “And I guess that meant they couldn’t really see you, and the sun would have been in their eyes…” The easy explanations, the excuses that she’d been told at the time tripped from her lips without thought. “...no,” she challenged herself, not accepting what she’d just heard herself say. “Made no difference. Mom put me at that end so she was watching the traffic. The car was on the wrong side of the road.”

“That’s what Mom told me.”

“When?”

“Umm...when you were at one of the big deal meets, you were sent spikes you had to pick from? I was helping Mom take the stuff you had to send back to the post office.”

“Oh, Nationals. You were asking her about that?”

“She brought it up...after I asked her why she never walked across the front of number 1759 on our side, why she crossed the road before and after.” Clearly he saw Carina’s confusion. “We lived at 1755, one of those streets with odd numbers one side and even the other. She was stood in front of 1761 but I went wrong in the driveway of 1759.” He continued, telling them both what Katherine Bishop had told him. “She saw me stop, but I had my back to her and was looking at Maya who was waving at me, so she said I waved back.”

“I wasn’t waving at you.”

“No, that’s what she said. You were waving at the car and when nothing happened, you...Mom doesn’t know what you did she says, because she saw you stop waving as she saw the shadow of the car go past, and then she just saw the taillights.”

“You’d got off the bike when it stopped and so I ran, thinking ‘don’t jump’...” She looked at her toes, feeling cold apart from the warmth of Carina’s hand in hers frowning.

“Don’t jump?”

“Yeah...I...there was a bit of the climbing frame at school. We weren’t supposed to, but if you ran up to it and jumped as you grabbed it, you sort of spun around like you were flying? At least, that’s what it felt like when I was eight or nine.” She looked at her brother, wondering if that was the solution to this mystery within a mystery. “Maybe that was what I did? Ran and grabbed you like that climbing frame but didn’t jump? Just kept running?”

“Makes sense.” He looked at Carina, knowing he didn’t need Maya to tell him this next bit, but not sure if Maya was able to tell it. “She dropped me on the grass of the neighbours front yard on the other side of the street and started puking. I was so cross with her for dropping me on my butt and then puking...all I remember is the yelling.”

“I thought he was yelling at me for making a mess...which confused me as he was supposed to be at some bowling thing with someone ‘important’. But he was yelling at you and Mom, and then...then someone came up and knuckled me on the head and told him I was... ‘a champ’ maybe?” She relaxed into the pillow, looking at him thoughtfully. “I haven’t thought about that in forever...why’d you remember it?”

“The next weekend he took us to track club.”

“Did he?” Maya knew they’d started track club around that time, but hadn’t realised it was that closely connected.

“The other guy signed us up, used to tease Lane that while he’d never win the bowling league he’d have shares in a State Champion instead, according to Mom.” Mason’s use of his father’s first name made Carina start to notice how carefully Maya wasn’t using his name, and how neither of them were calling him ‘father’ or similar.

“That’s why we went to track? Because I ran in front of a car to save you?” It had genuinely never occurred to Maya to think about how she first started running, assuming it was something that happened naturally from school sports day or class or something.

“Our car. And I think Lane was driving.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because Mom wouldn’t answer when I asked, said she couldn’t remember who was driving  _ our _ car.”

“Oh.” 

She closed her eyes, trying to decide what she did with this new information - it wasn’t news to her that her father’s actions weren’t as transparent or as kindly motivated as a father’s should be, as she’d presumed them to be. Nor was it news that her mother had been a participant to some sort of manipulation of the truth, either by omission or selective recall. She just wasn’t sure she had the energy or inclination to really care about it, not now, not after all the work she’d done to put his abuse behind her...and that was without her immediate priority of working towards being able to do the thing she really wanted to be her first thing when she was allowed ‘up and about’. “All of it except one thing is ancient history now.”

“Let her speak…” she heard Carina saying, suggesting Mason hadn’t taken her summary in the way she intended, but since she didn’t feel the bed move or hear Carina speak again, she guessed her girlfriend’s patience and skill at dealing with grumpy Bishops extended to Mason as well as her.

“The one thing that I will always remember about that day is how upset you were at your bike being trashed.”

“My bike?” He’d not expected that either. “Why?”

“Because…” Maya opened her eyes and looked at him, opened her mouth to explain but no sound came out.

“Because that meant her little brother was safe,” said Carina quietly, understanding Maya’s perspective as a big sister herself, but also as it was so obviously the beginning of who she was, as a firefighter and as an athlete. “Si?” she asked, shifting down the bed a little so she was nearer to Maya’s level, feeling her head nod and turn into her chest, the tears now flowing freely.

“I didn’t mean…”

“Mason?”

“Yes?”

“Hold her hand and tell her the reason you wanted to see if she remembered that day please. She will hear you.” 

For all her compassion for him as another victim of Lane Bishop’s particularly unpleasant approach to parenting, and as much as Carina would love for Maya to carry less guilt around with her about her brother, which was most easily achieved by having her brother back in her life, Carina’s first love was Maya, above everything...except possibly Andrea where there might be a tie. Which meant she’d help brother and sister reconcile as much as she could, but right this moment, she was struggling to contain her anger at him for making Maya hurt so much emotionally, with the only explanation she could give herself that this was important for something bigger, that was even more painful for the siblings. And the only thing she could think of from what she knew of their shared history that could possibly fit that description was his overdose when Maya was at the Olympics.

“Umm...” 

Carina was scary...in a weird good way he realised, seeing this was her protecting and loving his sister in the way that love was supposed to be, in a way that his sister wanted as she stayed where she was but squeezed his hand. Two quick squeezes, then a long one, just like she’d done when he was little and had crawled into her bed in the dark to whisper his nightmares to her and she’d do that to tell him she was still awake and listening, despite them lying in the dark so as not to disturb their parents.

“I think, from something Andy said, that you were never told the truth, about my overdose. And I think, if I’d known that…” He gulped, feeling her squeeze his hand again, telling him in their own secret code she was there, making him realise he could close his eyes and pretend he was under the covers telling her about his nightmares. “...we could have been different, and I...see, even when I was a brat you stood up for me, at school, with him...you were my hero May…” The childhood nickname he had for her slipped out without him noticing it was the first time he’d used it, though he opened his eyes and looked at her as he carried on his explanation.

“After Mom told me, about that day, I started trying to fight him more and more...but he turned my small victories into ways to push at you...I only worked it out yesterday, something else Andy said made me realise what I’d forgotten.” At the mention of Andy, Maya’s head turned out from Carina’s body and she looked at him, starting to feel the exhaustion of the emotions of this conversation, of her busy morning trying sitting up, but she wanted to know, wanted to learn this missing piece that mattered so much to him suddenly. 

“By the end, I hated you for running, because I thought you were like him, because I thought you didn’t find him scary like I did, you had to like him if you could stand to spend all that time with him. Then, when Mom told me about how you, we, but you because I wasn’t any good, started track, I decided you’d run to get me that day because you were scared, that you could only run when you were scared...that you running gave him the reason to be so horrible to you, because you needed to be scared to run that well, like you were some weird freak with the ‘embrace the pain’ stuff.”

He sniffed, wiping his face on the cuff of his hoodie.

“Then you made the team for the Olympics and went away to the training camps and...he got out of my head a bit..” He saw her raised eyebrow and grinned, the same naughty Mason ‘hand in the snack drawer’ smile - a small packet of raisins was hardly the greatest of sins, but everything’s relative - she remembered that smile almost constantly on his face when they were together before it all went so wrong. “...ok, the weed probably helped a bit too. Anyway…” He chuckled when she rolled her eyes at him, seeing the funny side despite everything. “...I think you just know I OD’ed on the day of your race?” He saw her nod. “Nothing else?” A headshake. “And I don’t think you’d been told in London…”

“I came back with the Team, he and Mom were already back...and they met me at the airport, some day in the middle of August, I lost track of the date with all the flights, and he just told me somewhere between the ‘hello, flight was late then’ and putting my bags in the trunk.”

“But what, exactly did they tell you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Please May…”

“On the day of my race, when I was running in a circle you OD’ed.” For once Maya actually let the bitterness she had felt in that moment come to the surface with a hollow, weary ‘huh’ that, had she not been starting to feel her two broken and many more bruised ribs, might have even turned into a bitter laugh. “I’d spent a week not thinking about training, just spending a little bit of time having people want to see the medal and have some fun and now it wasn’t even winning a medal, it was ‘running in a circle’. And I was so angry I almost missed him saying you’d OD’ed. We were through the car park barrier when I asked how you were.”

“That sounds deliberately cruel,” said Carina quietly, having, like Amelia had had yesterday, a sinking feeling she knew how this was going to end.

“It was. And I was just told you’d ‘gone’. I think I was supposed to think you’d gone to Art School...but he threw you out? Wait, no…” Maya had confused two airport pick-ups. “...that was when I came back from DC? In September? The first time...you were at home still, but you wouldn’t talk to me...and wouldn’t come with me to DC.”

“I couldn’t I don’t think.”

“You could have, to the city at least.”

“What was the trip?” Carina felt she was missing something vital if she was supposed to be keeping track of this story.

“Team USA reception at the White House.” Mason grinned, seeing Carina’s reaction. “Yeah, there was no way junkie little brother was going to be let in by the Secret Service, even if she did have a gold medal. Did you meet them?” He saw Carina shake her head and mime a yawn, making him realise she was on his side, wasn’t angry with him for wanting Maya to know everything now, but was concerned his sister was tiring. “Another conversation. But yeah, when you came back from that I was gone and not to Art School.”

“Did you OD again?”

“Yeah, I ended up here I think, at least, its old name...But I’d turned 18, my birthday ‘treat’ for myself, so I could sign myself out of the ER...and never went home...there’s something else you need to know May.”

“Mmm?” Blinking hard to force herself more awake, Maya lifted her heavy head up, sensing she needed to look properly at him.

“Andy was talking about Christmas Day, think she was kinda jealous of you Carina.”

“Me?”

“Have you seen her win the medal?” asked Mason, his face bright with pride in his big sister’s achievement. “You really should, it’s...like she’s running on springs or something, nothing like how she ran the rest of the time, I mean, yes it is, it’s her, but it’s also not, it’s…like how Andy described you running on Christmas Day, only she couldn’t understand it...she thought she’d seen you running enough tests and rescues, knowing you, she was probably left eating dust when you decided to just let everyone know you were coasting…” He saw Maya’s cheeks colour as she smiled, happy that despite everything he still knew her well enough to know what she was like, just as Carina could picture it, having met Maya and Andy at the end of their runs often enough to know what she could do. “...but what you did that morning, how she described it...and that was when I remembered I’d seen you run like that three times, well, two and a blur.” He squeezed her hand, wishing he could hug her, a thought that surprised him, as they’d not been big huggers growing up. “The blur was that birthday, probably not even a blur but worked out after that talk with Mom. But the first was that first weekend at track, when the coach said he didn’t think you were big enough to run a whole circuit…”

“...I said I was too and ran...it was...just running.”

“The next time I saw you run like that was the day you won the medal.”

“You saw it?”

“I watched, cheering for you...my big sister...who saved me from him on my birthday…” He wiped his eyes on the cuff of his grey hoodie. “In my defence, I was already high, but I remember thinking if you got your medal you’d be done, like before my bike, before two kids running became  _ track _ ...and you’d go back to being my big sister who rescued me when I didn’t know I needed it…” He reached for his notebook and turned to another page, giving the book to Carina for her to see and show to Maya. “That’s your race number isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” That was her, stood bent over, her hands on her knees, her race number half visible on her chest, but clear on the banner across the screen at the bottom…. OLYMPIC CHAMPION 1717 MAYA BISHOP USA… “That’s when you did it?” He nodded, able to think about it as an abstract situation now, one that hadn’t entirely happened to him. “I didn’t know.”

“I figured that out yesterday. I’d forgotten again, after leaving and the whole getting clean...forgotten how you just running was different to how you ran track, until I asked Andy why you were running.”

“The Station,” said Carina, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle she’d got already together with the extra ones he seemed to be juggling. “The Captain’s Duty is to the Station.” She saw his frown and shook her head, indicating she’d either explain later or ask Andy or one of the others to.

“No.” Maya sniffed and tried to look up at Carina, finding she went a bit cross-eyed as she did, but not caring. “He’s right...I mean, yes I’d have run even if it was just one of the team, but not like that...how did you know I was running to make sure Carina was alright?” she asked, looking at her brother.

“I was guessing, until I asked Andy if she’d ever known you run for fun.”

“I…” Maya was about to say that of course she ran for fun, but then she stopped herself. “...that first time around the track, it was...better than a strawberry milkshake. And the Final...starting the seventh lap something just...made me laugh. In the middle of the damn Final I laughed and missed my stride and...suddenly it was...fun and I was 9 years old on a dare to prove I could for no other reason than it seemed a silly thing for an old man to say.”

“And you won your gold medal...by just running….and I wanted you to not stop and to come and move me in a blur so I was safe again like you’d done at the very beginning…”

“But I didn’t...oh Mas…” Maya let go of Carina’s hand. “Come here Mas…I’m so sorry…” She tried to reach out with her right arm, forgetting about the strapping holding her arm, providing partial protection for her collarbone but not fully able to restrict her movement because it needed to not put pressure on her ribs, ribs that now joined in the screaming of her shoulder but she didn’t care, none of it mattered now she understood why he’d not spoken to her when she came home, why the moment she went away again he OD’ed. “I’d…” His head dropped onto her left shoulder and did what all little brothers do when they need a hug from their big sister….he squeezed, making Maya see stars and black spots, but she bit down on her lip and closed her eyes, picking up her left arm and wrapping him in the tightest hold she could. “I’m so sorry Mas…”

Stepping back, recognising that as bad as this was for Maya in the short term, it was probably also the best thing for her, Carina pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent a text, hoping for once her workaholic friends were true to form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> random facts - yes, there was a Team USA reception at the White House in September 2012 (14th to be exact) where the medal winners were invited. And in the s02e01 flashbacks, Maya has her London 2012 race number pinned up in her locker next to her medal hanging on a pin. And the number is 1717.
> 
> How many tissues/kleenex did that take?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those rejoining having exited the previous chapter a little early - good news Mason and Maya are now on (mostly) the same page about things, and they are on the mend as siblings, confirming it as this chapter opens with a good firm hug. Which is a bit of a problem if you're Maya. Right! You're all caught up *g*.
> 
> Onwards....

"Amelia!" Teddy exited the elevator and hurried to catch up her fast moving friend. "Did you…" 

"Get a Maya 911 text from Carina?" Amelia held open the door for Teddy to carry on through, then broke into a jog to catch her up. "Yeah…" She caught the end of her scarf as it tried to fall off her shoulder. ".. Bailey?" 

"You too?" was all she said, not breaking step as she turned into the corridor from the where she was coming from, having had the slight advantage of already being in this part of the hospital. 

"She was fine two hours ago…" said Teddy, frowning when she pulled on the door, finding it refusing to open, forgetting she'd been sufficiently close to leaving the hospital her ID was out of range of the magnetic door locks that she normally opened with a turn of her hips as she passed them. "... and if it was…" She was about to say 'complications it wouldn't be Carina paging me' when her pager went, causing her to let go of her bag, shrug her coat off and run. 

"What…" Amelia looked at Bailey who was stopping to pick up Teddy's abandoned possessions. 

"Her shift finished hours ago, only patient she's on call for is Bishop." Miranda set off again, wondering how Carina had been psychic, unless… "You seen her brother?" 

"Andrew?" 

"Bishop not DeLuca." Bailey hadn’t realised she now had a double, double problem until that moment, but she now, in addition to her ‘Double DeLuca’ had a ‘Double Bishop’. 

"Not since I saw him with you…“ Amelia picked up her pace, beating Bailey to the next door so she didn't need to stop and find her pass given she was carrying Teddy’s things. "...you think… "

"That Carina needs the three of us to help her keep Bishop in bed? No." It was testament to how concerned they both were that neither noticed the other, more amusing and entertaining interpretation of her statement. "But try and keep two broken kids from breaking each other six new ways before dinnertime?" Bailey didn’t need to wait for Amelia’s answer to that - and yes, Mason and Maya were hardly ‘kids’ anymore, but in order for them to recover their relationship as siblings, which Bailey knew had to happen if Mason was going to paint the mural and generally be around his sister again, they were going to have to tackle topics that directly connected to the time when they were both kids...that may or may not still be broken now.

"What happened?" asked Amelia, reaching the nurses' station first and pulling up the readings from Maya's monitors, enabling her and Bailey to see what had happened from before Carina’s text to now. That the nurses’ station had such comprehensive telemetry monitoring from Maya’s room also gave away quite how serious Maya's condition still was - it was easy to gloss over the fact she was still on high dependency monitoring that was only one step down from intensive care when she always had a doctor at her side: Carina might not be Maya’s doctor, but she was an intuitively ‘safe’ bedside visitor and thus given far more latitude than might have otherwise been the case. 

"It's not a clot…" said Bailey, not waiting for the nurse to update them, "... Or an infection… Who's in there?" she asked, not looking at the nurse, but making it clear who was supposed to answer. 

"Dr DeLuca and Mason Bishop. And Dr Altman." 

"Dr Shepherd? Dr Bailey?" Another nurse's voice sounded through the intercom from Maya's room, prompting both to head to Maya's room, wondering what was happening...and how on earth Carina had anticipated it by a few minutes. 

* * *

  
  


“Sshhh…” Carina had her arm around Mason, his head held firmly against her shoulder as she made non-specific soothing noises, the hug holding the dual purpose of providing some reassurance to him, but also to Maya that he couldn’t see her, meaning she wasn’t trying to hide her pain.

“...bene…” Carina’s eyes were locked on Maya’s as she held Mason, Teddy managing to work with Maya still sitting up, much to Carina’s relief. As much as she didn’t like seeing Maya in an oxygen mask and in pain, she was grateful Teddy was making it possible for her to hold Maya’s hand and keep eye contact. “...breathe…” she said, smiling in spite of her stress when she saw Maya follow her quiet instruction instinctively as, at the same time, she felt Mason do the same. “Bene bella…fratellino…” she added, including Mason in her praise, not sure how she’d managed to be accepted by him so quickly but right this moment glad that he had.

“Can I…” said Teddy quietly, looking to Carina to see if Mason was turned away, knowing Carina knew this was another moment when an injection was the best treatment.

“Si, but…” Carina was torn - she didn’t want Maya in pain any longer than she needed to be, but she knew the drugs were probably the start of at the very least a sedation, but possibly a trip back into the operating theatre, and she didn’t want to lose Maya to that sort of sleep without being able to talk to her. But letting go of Mason was not an easy decision either, as if Maya thought there was any risk of him seeing her being injected that would probably make Maya refuse the drugs.

“Mason? It’s Amelia…” Amelia put her hand on his back, her own back to Maya and nodded to Carina mouthing ‘I got him’. “...can you let Carina have a minute with your sister?”

“Hmm?” Sniffing, Mason lifted his head up from Carina’s shoulder, but her hand and Amelia’s stopped him turning around to Maya.

“It’s the bit you like to look out the window for fratellino,” said Carina softly, deciding it was half true and therefore true enough. “Go with Amelia and I will join you and we will talk some more bene?”

Another sniff. Then a nod and a shy smile.

“I’m sor…” He began, only to see Carina’s fierce look reappear, making him stop abruptly.

“It is not necessary, and we will talk in a minute,” she promised as released her hold on him, glad when Amelia immediately wrapped her arm around his shoulders and began to steer him to the door.

“Bella…” Carina, still holding Maya’s left hand, stood as close to her as she could without being in the way, deliberately not looking at her girlfriend’s bare torso where Teddy was trying to work out, being as gentle as she could, whether Maya’s ribs or incisions were causing the bleeding. “...you need to be flat for Teddy now…” said Carina, reaching for the bed controls, knowing without needing to ask Teddy that had Maya been anyone else, had she not made it as clear as she had done that Mason’s wellbeing mattered to her as much if not more than her own, had it not been Teddy, Maya would have been flat on her back again moments after Teddy had arrived and probably already sedated. “...Ti amo bellissima…” she added, kissing the crinkled, frowning forehead as she moved the bed, Teddy and her both moving with Maya. “Bene?”

“Mmm…” Maya tried to move her left hand out of Carina’s grasp, wanting to take the oxygen mask off.

“Teddy? Can she take the mask off for a moment?” asked Carina quietly, having first checked the monitors out of the corner of her eye and seen it had done its immediate, urgent job and helped her levels return.

“Yes.” As Carina removed the mask, Teddy leaned over so Maya could see both of them. “Hey Maya…” she said, speaking directly to her for the first time since she’d shot into the room to find Maya in the midst of a full blown panic attack with bright red spots appearing on the bedsheet by her right rib cage and Carina bearing what looked like the deadweight of a sobbing Mason as she tried to slow Maya’s panic. “...I know you’re feeling a lot of pain right now, so I’m not going to ask how you’re doing…” she teased gently, relieved when she was rewarded with a weak smile. “You need stitching up again, and I want to do an x-ray to check your ribs are still going to heal perfectly...do you remember what we talked about?”

“Surgery...pins...” whispered Maya, adding a small nod, squeezing Carina’s hand. When Teddy had been explaining all her injuries to her, and taking her through what some of the risks were, they’d spent quite a bit of time talking about how her broken ribs were currently sitting in alignment without needing to be pinned, but if they moved, if she moved, depending on how bad the movement was, there was a risk she’d have to have pins. However, that wasn’t the bit of the chat Teddy had wanted Maya to remember.

“Yes, but I don’t think you need pins.” Teddy smiled in reassurance when she saw Maya’s frown return and her eyes dart to Carina, not at all offended she wanted an immediate second opinion from her girlfriend. “I think the x-ray will tell me you are still good without pins, but I need to redo your stitches and the drain, and you will be much happier if I do all of that with you sedated.”

“Oh…” That was the part Teddy wanted her to remember. “Shoulder?”

“Yes, your arm needs to be in a different position and you’ll be much happier if we move it for you once you’re asleep.”

“K…” Maya’s eyes slid from Teddy to Carina, now she understood, her eyebrow moving just enough to save her having to find any words.

“Si…” Carina leaned in and lightly kissed Maya’s lips. “...as brave as you are, I want you to take the trip to theatre for this please bella.”

“K Teddy…” Her eyes swivelled back to Teddy.

“I’ll go and get changed and be back in a couple of minutes then. You mind if I take a few more pictures of your insides while I’ve got you?” She asked the question as an afterthought, having just remembered thinking of it in Maya’s first surgery but that was so long that she’d decided to skip it.

Maya’s eyes slid back to Carina, indicating she wanted help, guessing Carina probably had a better idea what Teddy was really asking, trusting them both.

“Si Teddy, a good idea.”

“Back in a minute then. Bailey will come with the first meds.” Teddy, while Maya had been preoccupied with Carina, had been able to have a quick chat with Bailey at the same time and the Chief was currently changing and preparing to assist Teddy, as well as getting the nearest OR ready for them.

“Not mad?”

“Not mad,” agreed Carina, kissing Maya again, worried that this might have been the bigger issue. “I am not mad with you or Mason. While you have your little sleep I will tell him I am not mad with either of you si?” As much as she knew Mason hugging Maya was one of the worst things that could have happened given her injuries, Carina had seen it was necessary and made no attempt to intervene to prevent it, knowing that given everything Maya had to recover from in the coming months, having that moment of reconciliation and reconnection with her brother was ultimately going to do far more to help than any risk the hug posed.

“Carina…” said Bailey quietly, appearing at the other side of the bed, changed into scrubs.

“You ready to feel better Bella?” asked Carina softly, touching her forehead lightly to Maya’s and closing her eyes for a moment, trying to hang onto the feeling of Maya’s hand squeezing hers, trying to picture the bright smile and eyes sparkling with humour as she teased Carina with her ability to move only her arm muscles.

“I love you…” whispered Maya, grabbing blindly with her left hand for the front of Carina’s t-shirt.

“I love you…” Carina lifted her head up a fraction. “...baciami…” she encouraged, touching her lips against Maya’s, a small sigh escaping when she felt them part under hers and the brush of Maya’s tongue against hers, followed by the faint tickle of fingers brushing her stomach. Conscious though that she could also sense the tension in Maya from trying to not give in to the pain, Carina pulled away from the kiss after a moment. “The sooner you sleep, the sooner you wake feeling better…” she reasoned, smiling when she saw Maya’s rarely seen pout, then nod. “Bene…” Carina glanced at Bailey and nodded, smiling her thanks at giving them that extra moment, knowing it was a tiny thing but Maya being able to go under knowing Carina wasn’t cross about what just happened with Mason, wasn’t cross with Maya or her brother for what just happened, that was huge for Maya, and for Carina.

“Wait…” Maya tugged sharply on Carina’s t-shirt, remembering from the middle of the night injection that she got sleepy very quickly.

“Bella?” Carina leaned forwards again, thinking Maya was starting to panic herself, only to hear Maya whisper something.

“Si, va bene…” Carina was surprised at the request, but wasn’t going to argue. “...I will tell him. Now…” She ran her fingers through Maya’s hair, watching eyes becoming heavy with drug-helped sleep. "Ti amo bellissima…" whispered Carina, feeling the change in Maya's grip on her shirt, her girlfriend hanging on for that final moment. “...dormi amore mio.” She kissed Maya’s cheek, then lips, knowing in contrast to the last time she’d had to let Maya go to theatre, this time would be shorter and had fewer unknowns.

“What happened?” asked Bailey, methodically getting Maya ready to move the short distance to the operating theatre as Carina moved the sheet so it was covering her girlfriend again.

“Their hearts healed…”

“...and rebroke her ribs?” Bailey’s question came out harsher than she’d meant it to, and she accepted the glare Carina shot her. “No, I didn’t mean that, they...cleared the air?” Carina’s frown changed, and Bailey mentally cursed herself, remembering too late that Carina and idioms didn’t always mix. “I mean, they had a good talk about the difficult stuff?”

“Ah, si. They had a good talk about very difficult things that were very hard for me to hear and I was…” Carina shrugged, stroking Maya’s hair again, holding her hand still, wanting the connection even if she knew Maya wasn’t really benefiting from it probably. “...just listening not remembering.” She heard the door opening, guessing it was Teddy returning. “I could not stop her from wanting to hug him...” Her eyes were watering but she didn’t notice.

“She’s stubborn…” said Bailey, thinking Carina was upset with herself, wanting to try and ease her guilt.

“No! I could not stop her….Non ho potuto impedirle di fare qualcosa che pensa di essere troppo distrutta per sapere come fare. Che pensa di non sapere come dare, che si aspetta di essere rifiutata. Non potevo fermarla perché ero in soggezione del suo cuore ... e avevo il terrore che se l'avesse rifiutata, il suo spirito si sarebbe frantumato e il mio amore non sarebbe stato sufficiente a guarirla.”

“What did…” Bailey was interrupted by the nurse who’d come in with Teddy, who thanks to their earlier forethought and Andrew DeLuca’s knowledge, understood what was causing Carina to have tears running down her face looking, thought Bailey, even more distressed than she had done when they didn’t know what was happening with Maya.

“She said she couldn’t stop her from doing something that the Captain thinks she’s too broken to know how to do, who’s worried they don’t give right, that they’ll be rejected. She couldn’t stop her because she was...amazed at her ability to try and scared that if it didn’t work she’d be beyond Dr DeLuca’s help.”

“She said that?” asked Teddy quietly, finding the sentiment heartbreakiing but the words not very...Carina.

“You speak Italian…” said Carina, turning and seeing the nurse she recognised from the last couple of days, never realising she had the language skill. “...e traduco con diplomazia e gentilezza ma non mi dispiace che sappiano la verità, sono nostri amici.”

“Grazie.” In English the nurse added for Teddy and Bailey’s benefit, blushing. “I paraphrased out most of the romance.”

“That makes more sense,” agreed Teddy, finding she was grateful for the nurse’s diplomatic editing, knowing that Carina had been speaking to explain whatever had happened, but also feeling like the intruder. “You want to come with her?”

“Grazie.” And, holding Maya’s hand still, smiling in teary eyed thanks at Teddy and Bailey, Carina set off the short distance to the entrance to the theatre suite, deciding Teddy and Bailey should have a bit of the details. “He told her about his overdoses, about why he went to live the way he did, why he thought he could blame her for it all...the hug, it was...qual è la frase che significa "mettiamoci una pietra sopra" per favore?”

“Oh, umm…” The nurse hadn’t expected Dr DeLuca to actively include her in the conversation, so was a little slow to work out what she meant. “...like...oh! Bygones be bygones?”

“Yes.” Carina looked down at Maya, stroking her hand as they walked along to the theatre. “They have started to heal.” Carina saw where they were as they slowed at a final set of doors, not needing to be told. “Ti amo bellissima…” She turned, kissed Maya’s hand then carefully tucked it under the sheet. “...vedrò quando ti sveglierai amore mio.”

“We’ll look after her for you Carina, I promise,” said Bailey, pushing open the doors and preparing to take Maya through, Teddy having slipped ahead to start scrubbing.

“Lo so, grazie Miranda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non ho potuto impedirle di fare qualcosa che pensa di essere troppo distrutta per sapere come fare. Che pensa di non sapere come dare, che si aspetta di essere rifiutata. Non potevo fermarla perché ero in soggezione del suo cuore ... e avevo il terrore che se l'avesse rifiutata, il suo spirito si sarebbe frantumato e il mio amore non sarebbe stato sufficiente a guarirla.” - I couldn't stop her from doing something she thinks she's too broken to know how to do. Who thinks they don't know how to give, who expects to be rejected. I couldn't stop her because I was in awe of her heart ... and I was terrified that if he refused her, her spirit would shatter and my love wouldn't be enough to heal her. " [that's the version with the romance left in].
> 
> e traduco con diplomazia e gentilezza ma non mi dispiace che sappiano la verità, sono nostri amici - and translate with diplomacy and kindness but I don't mind that they know the truth, they are our friends
> 
> vedrò quando ti sveglierai amore mio - I'll see when you wake up my love


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning....this one probably needs a cup of tea and a comfortable chair.....like most really big rollercoasters, there's a final loop or two to ride over, but we're nearly at the everyone on the same page part....
> 
> Enjoy...

“Amelia.”

“Carina!” Amelia turned and held the coffee she was holding out to her. “Coffee, from the lobby cart. It’s sleeting.”

“Grazie.” Carina took the cardboard cup, knowing she needed to drink and eat something, not sure if she could face the drink though.

“And a chocolate almond croissant…” Amelia held up a paper bag which had grease marks forming on it from the buttery contents. “...we were early enough they still had one.”

“Thank you.” Carina took the bag from Amelia with more enthusiasm than she’d had for the coffee. She generally didn’t like the breakfast pastries at the hospital’s coffee places, finding them too greasy and, well, not like the light, crisp cornetto she was accustomed to. And the biscotti...she was glad Amelia had remembered she didn’t like those.

“How is she?”

“In theatre…” Carina chewed and swallowed the mouthful of pastry before answering, watching Mason with a sort of detached curiosity that also meant she didn’t see the surprised look on Amelia’s face until after she’d finished her mouthful. “...no, it is…” Carina realised Amelia possibly had very little idea what had happened. “...the collarbone…” She mimed how limited Maya’s right arm range of movement was at the moment. “...it makes access to her ribs difficult or painful, so Teddy is redoing the stitches and drain in theatre.”

“Oh, are her ribs ok?” Amelia knew from what little Mason had told her between hiccups that he’d hugged her back, not thinking how that was affecting Maya, and now he was struggling with the guilt.

“Si, Teddy thinks so, but they will check with x-rays. Also, they are going to do the scans and maybe ‘scope they did not do the first time.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Amelia knew from watching Maya’s surgery that they’d decided against doing some extra precautionary imaging given how long the surgery had taken, but if they had her in theatre for a short procedure, the few extra minutes would be worth it. “He told me she hugged him and he hugged back.”

“Si.” Carina took a long pull on her coffee, watching Mason methodically work his way through his second croissant, his careful way of eating it to ensure no crumb was lost reminding Carina that his struggles hadn’t been limited to his father’s abuse and the drugs, but that living the way he had been came with added challenges that he, if he was going to stay, would need help and support to work through. “He has told her I think, something of every thing, about the drugs and their father.”

“Everything?” Amelia wasn’t sure she knew what ‘every thing’ meant in this context.

“Si, both overdoses, that he was also smoking drugs...and why he did it when he did it, why it looked to her like he was punishing her, why he then could not forget what he thought was her betrayal.”

“Wow, ok.” That was rather more than Amelia had expected when she’d told him he needed to make sure Maya knew when he’d actually ODed that first time...was rather more than she knew about him so far, which wasn’t a bad thing.

“Can I talk to him?” Carina did not want to interfere if he was struggling, understanding it was emotionally difficult for all of them, knowing too that for all her experience dealing with Andrea and her father’s symptoms, the recovery from addiction was very different, and something she would defer to Amelia on.

“Yes, he’s exhausted but it would be good for him. He’s scared you hate him for hurting Maya...and…” Amelia didn’t quite know how to say the other bit he’d admitted to her.

“...and that I will not let him stay? Or that I will not let Maya help him to stay?” guessed Carina, having a fairly good idea about what his reaction would be, finding he wasn’t that different to Maya in terms of how he leapt to expecting the ‘punishment’ reaction very quickly, a legacy of Lane Bishop’s parenting technique.

“Yeah…” Amelia looked around the deserted lobby, not the one they’d bought the coffee in, but the other, quieter one that was the entrance to the children’s in-patient and clinics, which on New Year’s Day, had very little movement as there were no clinics and what few admissions there would be wouldn’t happen until later. “...I was going to take him to Bailey’s office, but he wanted to come here…” She looked at the wall, still protected from people brushing against it by a line of cones and black and yellow tape. “...is that the wall Bailey wants him to paint?”

“Si.” Carina put the final bit of croissant in her mouth and chewed slowly, starting to think about what she needed to say to him, how she could say it best.

“There’s a meeting, here, in just over an hour…”

“An addiction meeting?” Carina knew there was one in the hospital every day, alternating between morning and afternoon for staff, just as there was one every afternoon for any patient, with the people who ran them also available for those patients who couldn’t attend the meeting because of their condition. “The staff one?”

“Yes. I was going to go anyway…” Amelia saw Carina’s eyebrow raise in concern, her friend knowing it wasn’t her usual routine. “...Sunday, in your office? Or at least, what happened up to my getting to your office...I need a little grounding.” She looked back at Mason. “I don’t think he’s ever been to one, he won’t need to say anything, but it will help him to hear.” She looked back at Carina and squeezed her arm in reassurance, also knowing from previous difficult conversations with her friend about Andrew and her father, that a hug would be too much for the big-hearted Italian. “Plus, he’s family now.”

“Grazie Amelia.”

“Pfft. Then I’ll take him to get some lunch…” Her meaning was clear - that he’d be safe with her, safe from any temptation that may or may not still be posed by the drugs, but also safe with someone who would help ensure Maya didn’t lose him again, giving Carina time to look after herself, and look after Maya. “...you want me to…?” She gestured to the other side of the lobby, thinking this was something that Carina might want to talk to Mason about privately.

“If he does not mind you listening, I would find it helpful.” She saw Amelia’s look of surprise, not hidden very well and smiled tiredly. “I like him, think I can love him as another fratellino come Andrea in time, but I cannot be the one they each use to heal.” She shrugged. “For me, his sister is il mio tutto.” Amelia didn’t speak Italian, but she understood Carina’s point. Maya was Carina's everything, and that required a degree of selfishness.

“Alright then. Do I need to know anything else before you go say hi?”

“You must never squeeze Maya’s muscles again.”

Amelia sprayed her mouthful of coffee out of her mouth. “I…”

“Bene.” Carina took another mouthful of her coffee, stood up, and went over to the bench Mason was sitting on, Amelia rushing to catch up with her.

“Is Amelia ok?” asked Mason, having seen Amelia spray her coffee.

“She is fine,” said Carina, sitting down next to him. “She forgets sometimes that I will tease her back.”

“No, I remember you can tease me back, I just forget your Italianness.” Seeing Mason’s confusion, Amelia continued, “...she finds Americans prudish, we find her...direct.”

“I think I like direct,” said Mason thoughtfully, thinking back to what he and Maya had talked about, thinking about how manipulation and half-truths had hurt them growing up. “As long as it is truthful directness. I think Maya’s the same...is she...”

“Si. She is in the operating theatre for a few minutes because that is the best way for Teddy to redo her stitches.” She saw his hands tense into fists and reached out, covering one with her hand. “In a perfect world she should have thought about her injuries first and not tried to hug you. In a perfect world we have no bad thoughts in our minds, no painful memories to try and live with and nothing broken that needs to heal. So it is not real and we should not waste our time thinking about it anymore.” She gave Mason’s hand a firm squeeze, then relaxed her hold, hoping his hand might relax a bit as she continued talking. “You say you like direct, so I will be direct with you. Your sister will find recovering difficult. She will hate parts of it, be angry and frustrated, get cross with me and anyone near her. She will be very difficult to like at times, and I will spend a lot of time having to remember it is the pain and the loss of her strength and energy that makes her difficult to like in certain moments. But I will never forget that I love her, that she loves me, and there will be the good moments too, both when there is nothing happening and when, like this morning, she was making me laugh because sitting up for the first time was making her feel tall.”

Carina took a breath and a sip of her coffee, relieved when she felt his fingers instinctively but tentatively wrap around hers as he listened to her describe what life would be like in the coming months for anyone in close proximity to Maya.

“Your sister’s heart is huge but well defended. She...she was so rude to me in our first week together that I had one foot out of the door.”

“Err…” Mason looked at her, not recognising the phrasing, knowing from conversations he’d had with her and his sister that she didn’t always get the right expression, but he wasn’t as good at Maya at guessing the right one.

“I am being literal,” said Carina gently, smiling now at the memory that was a strange mixture of hurt and joy. “We had...got to know each other, both a little and a lot at the same time, and I went to her office at the Station with some lunch for her, she had had a bad call and it was...a gesture for my new friend who I liked very much. But she was not expecting it, not expecting me at the Station and not used to someone caring that her day was rough and wanting to make it easier. And she was rude and cold and I had decided to leave her office and her life.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No, because she...she that day had no more battle in her and when I went to leave I saw her heart and I could not leave, not when she had let me in.”

“And you’ve been together ever since?” His innocent question was more than Amelia could cope with, despite her good intentions, and she snorted in amused disagreement, then quickly apologised.

“No, we broke up, it was...you say you read the newspaper stories about the fire department, so you read about Captain Herrera?”

“Andy’s Dad? Yeah. Brave guy, saving them like that...I was glad he saved my sister’s life when I read that.”

“He did not.” 

When Carina had said she would be direct, she had not been lying realised Amelia, knowing the story Carina was going to tell, having heard it from Carina at the time, when she’d needed to vent and rant about the injustice of the burdens placed on people, on how much it hurt to see Maya hurting and not knowing how to ask for help, help that Carina knew even then was not going to be accepted if it was seemingly spontaneously offered before Maya recognised her own need for support.

“What do you mean? The paper, it said…”

“It said the firefighters inside the building would have not survived without the roof being vented, si.” Carina went to sip some more of her coffee but found that she couldn’t face it, her stomach in knots. “Your sister was not in the building, she was the Captain, outside, trying to find a way to vent the roof without anyone dying, with all her friends inside. She still has nightmares sometimes when she sees him...”

“She saw him fall through the roof?”

“Si. She had to operate the ladder he needed to get there.” She squeezed his hand. “It is difficult and complicated, and I do not tell you this to make you feel bad for your sister, or to change your view about Andy’s Dad. He did a very brave thing, and all of the firefighters lost an important man, especially Andy of course. But because of where she was, what her job was, the week after that was difficult for your sister: she was investigated by that corrupt little man and was trying to mourn her hero and let her team mourn their hero, let her best friend hate her so she could mourn her Dad.”

“That sounds a lot...and…” He chewed his lip, thinking about his sister growing up, thinking about who he remembered she was, rather than what he’d spent years imagining she was. “...not something she’d cope very well with. Could you help her?”

“I tried, and think I did a little bit...but that was also the week your mother told her she was divorcing her husband because she now understood she needed to look after herself and end his abuse.”

“Wow, Mom’s timing really sucks.” Mason squeezed Carina’s hand, this time in reassurance and support rather than anger. “Sorry, I mean, way to go Mom for seeing the light, huge for her and all, but even I knew that week was probably one of the all time shittiest for Maya, way shittier than mine was that week, and I was sleeping under the freeway and only knew from a newspaper article that someone who used to be in charge at her station had died.” He paused. “And thought I hated her, but I still knew she was having a shittier time of it than me right then.”

“That…” Carina didn’t quite know what to say to his easy reference to the harsh reality of his life.

“Is not the point though, it was my choice. But Mom dumping her news on Maya without stopping to think if May could cope to hear it? That’s really rough of Mom, and her timing sucked…” He looked at Carina, waiting for her to look up at him, smiling sadly and with huge compassion for her. “...is that when she went back to hiding her heart and bashing you with rude things?” He smirked at her expression, seeing he was on point. “Yup, that’s May when she’s stressed in too many directions. She could cope with school tests, she could cope with running stuff, she could even cope with him I guess, and she could cope with me being a bratty little brother as long as it was all spaced out. But when it all happened at the same time...if I went near her, I didn’t even need to try to bug her, she just...one time, she was maybe 15? Yeah, I went too far about something, probably one of the other girls on the track team I thought she was weird around, in a week she had school tests and some State trials and he was being super hard on her... she took my pencils, my first set of good ones I’d bought with the money I had from chores that only she knew about, and put them in her backpack. A whole week she took them everywhere she went. If I mentioned them she would tell me how nice they were to do her tests with until I got the message and stopped talking to her.”

“What happened?”

“The day she finished her last test, she came home from school and went and put the pencils in my bedroom, under Max.” Carina grinned, in spite of the heaviness of their topic, now she knew who or rather what Max was. “When I went to get ready for bed I saw them...they hadn’t been used at all despite what she’d said, and underneath the pencils there was a notebook, kinda like this one actually…” He pulled out the notebook he’d bought in the hospital shop with the hand that wasn’t holding Carina’s. “...and on the front page she’d written ‘I love you, even when you are a brat.’” He heard Carina’s sniff and turned on the bench so he could look at her, seeing her crying. “I’m not going to embarrass you asking what she did...but it was something that hurt you as much as not having my pencils and thinking she was wasting them on stupid test papers hurt me as an 11 year old. And I think it took a lot more than returning the pencils with a new notebook…” He saw Carina nod, then shake her head, then laugh.

“You are right, she did not take my pencils and I did not get a notebook from her but I think...I think she was thinking of you and those pencils when she asked me to take her back...she told me she loved me, which was new to hear and I thought...I did not know what to think because I was not expecting her, not ready to have to fight her defences and she told me she had only ever said I love you to you, before she said it to me.”

“She’d not said it before that?”

“No, but neither had I. But…” Carina put her coffee on the bench next to her, taking his hand in both of hers. “...it was also the first time she mentioned you to me.”

“Oh.”

“It was also the day she cut her hair.”

“You mean…” He looked at her slack-jawed, trying to connect the conversation they’d had yesterday, it was only yesterday about the restraining orders Maya had in place against Lane Bishop and everything he had just learned about how Carina and Maya’s relationship had survived the bumpier bits.

“Si. In a funny way your mother’s timing it does not suck so much?” she teased, knowing Maya had acknowledged it was seeing her father’s arrogant dismissal of her work as a Fire Captain in those moments at the PacWest bombing scene that had precipitated her understanding of her denial and issues in a way that would have otherwise taken who knew how long for her to come to terms with. And his determination to get her to fight his battle for him, the battle Katherine Bishop had initiated with her own discoveries about herself and him, that had been the trigger for his seeking Maya out. Plus Carina was realistic enough to know that if they hadn’t broken up when they did, it would have happened over something, at some point...and what really mattered was they had found a way to heal, together, stronger.

“I guess...do they…”

“Do they get on?” She saw him nod. “No. They...only have two things in common they can talk about, your father and you. And neither is something they are good at talking about. But they try...by email so they can choose their words carefully, not share only the anger and the hurt, and make sure they hear what the other wants to say at a time when they are able to listen.” 

It had taken a while to get Katherine Bishop to understand that the moment she was ready to talk to her daughter wasn’t automatically the moment Maya was ready to listen, so phone calls and visits had been brutal and harsh. But emails….emails were working, because Maya could write it at 3am when she would otherwise be prowling the Station looking for chores, ask Carina to read it at some point, then send it a day or so later. And when Katherine replied, it would sit there until Maya was ready, usually on a day off, usually on a day when Carina was working one of her ‘funny’ shifts that was split between research and patients, and Maya would wander down to the hospital with coffees and Italian pastries and sit on the couch in Carina’s office and read the email, surrounded by the background noise of her girlfriend's world and her place within it where she was 'Carina's girlfriend, Maya' not any sort of 'Bishop'. 

It...wasn’t how Carina would have ever thought you might communicate with a parent, but it was the way that finally meant mother and daughter communicated, and that was all that mattered. 

“Your mother seems a kind person but...she and Maya are very different people.”

“Yeah, they always were. Does she know? I mean, she must know, it’s on all the news…”

“Si, she knows. Andy had her email address, in case something like this ever happened and someone from the team emailed her, to let her know, and to keep her updated until Maya is ready to email herself. But she does not know about you.” Enough members of the team had problems with their own relationships with their parents that it had been a decision they’d taken collectively, only telling Carina afterwards - it had to be Mason’s choice how and when he reconnected with his mother, and telling Katherine Bishop he was by his sister’s bedside in Grey-Sloan took that choice away from him.

“Oh. Ok. Yeah.” Mason’s leg bounced for a minute, while he processed that next lump of news. “Makes sense. Is she in the city still?”

“No, she moved somewhere, I don’t remember the name, but the Christmas card had some photographs of the view of the mountains, it looks quite beautiful.”

“Sounds like her Aunt’s place, think her cousin must still have it as Aunt…” He shook his head, the name from his childhood gone. “...she was ancient when I was little.” He nodded. “I’m glad they are trying but I’m glad…”

“That your mother is not going to leap out from behind a plant and shout surprise?” Carina actually laughed at his comical expression at that mental image. “Si, I am glad too. My papa has been texting and ringing and driving my brother around the corner.”

“Bend,” said Amelia quietly, smiling, knowing how harassed Andrew was feeling from his father’s desire for news. “He’s been driving Andrew around the bend because you ignored your phone for days.”

“It is Andrea’s fault for telling him Maya was hurt.”

“He didn’t.”

“Eh?”

“You have no idea do you…” Amelia went to get her phone out to show Carina, then changed her mind, deciding it was something for another time. “...just trust me, the internet is a glorious thing and it seems your father had a news alert set up on your surname and on ‘Captain Bishop’ so everyone in Sicily is now discussing whether they think you are going to hell for swearing like you did.”

“Pfft, when they discovered ‘Captain Bishop’ is femmina half will have said hell is my natural home and I should bake the welcome biscotti...but I have been cross with Andrea when I should not have…” Carina chewed on her lip, making a mental note to apologise to him for thinking ill of him.

“Oh no, it’s entirely his fault,” agreed Amelia, stretching her legs out in front of her, then crossing them at the knee, pleased she could inject a lighter, non-Bishop family related moment into the conversation she was privileged to listen to. “Who do you think taught your father about news alerts?”

“Mamma mia, il mio stupido fratellino, come se il cappello da Babbo Natale non fosse abbastanza cattivo …” She shook her head, deciding to finish her coffee, conscious that time was moving on and there was still something very important Maya wanted her to explain to Mason. “Like I said before, Papas are not easy subjects for any of us.”

“Amen to that,” agreed Amelia, patting Mason on the knee.

“Si. But, and I am sorry this is all coming at once, but Maya was insisting you know before you take your decision to Bailey about the wall.”

“Oh, umm…” His leg bounced again. “...about that. She and I had a talk last night.”

“Si? When? Oh, the soda?”

“Yeah. We came down here and talked. You umm, you know about Joey?”

“Her foster son? Si.”

“Dr Bailey is…” He looked between Amelia and Carina, understanding he was talking about their boss or something, and not wanting to be rude.

“She is fire and family and reminds me of Etna.”

“The volcano?” Amelia looked at Carina in amazement. “That you are definitely explaining to me properly another time.”

“Bene. She was fierce with you?”

“Yes, and kind. Can I show you something please? It’s just there…” He nodded towards the wall.

“Bene.” Carina stood up, prepared to put her faith in Bailey at this point despite being somewhat confused as to what was happening, not least because she hadn’t quite planned on catching Mason up on the majority of her history with his sister and the current situation between his sister and Katherine Bishop.

“There…” He walked over to the wall, kicking a cone to the side to create a gap for Carina to walk through, Amelia staying sitting so Carina could look at this with him alone.

“You drew on the wall?” asked Carina, looking at him in surprise, seeing the spot on the wall with his name next to it.

“After Dr Bailey had.” He took his hand away from the wall, showing Carina what he had covered up, guessing from how Dr Bailey had scribbled her signature and not printed her name or anything next to it, that in the hospital it was fairly recognisable.

“That’s…” Carina didn’t quite know what to say.

“Half of our contract.”

“Half? You have another wall to paint?”

“No…” He grinned, putting his hands in the pockets of his hoodie as he looked at the wall. “...at least, I don’t think so, this one’s pretty huge. I mean...Dr Bailey talked to Joey, about what it was like for him to come in from the streets, before we talked and she...she’s…”

“Also direct?” guessed Carina, able to picture various ways Bailey might have approached a conversation with Mason that ended up with them both drawing on a freshly plastered wall.

“Blunt.” He looked at the circle on the wall. “It was early in the morning and she’d had security unlock the door over there...all the time we were talking it was open. My deal with Bailey has two parts….one part is that I paint the wall and this spot is where Bailey as a bear would like to be.”

“Bailey as a bear?” Carina looked at the page of his notebook that he showed her, seeing the teddy bear wearing scrubs and a scrub cap that he’d drawn last night for Bailey that somehow, from a distance was just a teddy bear dressed up like a surgeon, but if you knew her, it was unmistakably Bailey. “Magnifica! Amelia! Come see…” Laughing and smiling in genuine joy at the delightful sketch, she waved her friend over. “...look!”

“Wow, that’s…”

“Bailey, si!” Carina pointed to the mark on the wall by Bailey’s distinctive signature. “That is where she will be in Mason’s painting.”

“She knows?”

“She picked the spot herself,” admitted Mason shyly, understanding how Amelia’s first thought might be that Bailey didn’t know she had been drawn as a teddy bear and might take offence. “After asking me how I’d draw her as a bear.”

“Cool.”

“But what is the other part? If you only have one wall…” She saw Mason’s slightly startled expression and corrected herself with a grin. “...only have one very, very huge enormous wall,” amazed he could cope with being a bit silly after everything they’d gone through, amazed she could be a bit silly but finding it was wonderful, knowing this was Maya had somehow known would happen, was why she wanted them to talk about this together, now.

“Dr Bailey had the door open as she told me about how Joey struggled to stop feeling the twitch she called it, the feeling like not being on the street was temporary, like that was where he was supposed to be...that she wouldn’t stop me if I was still feeling it.” He saw Amelia and Carina’s faces show their concern at the harsh way he was making their friend sound. “I’m making her sound really bad, it really wasn’t, she was talking about how she helped Joey explain what, who he was worried about and missing, helped him to see they, his little siblings, were safe and well and how they keep together now none of them are on the street.” He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “She helped me see that I have to decide if I want to come in from the street, but that’s not the same as forgetting about it. Coming in isn’t the same as running away.”

“Si, I remember how she and Ben helped Joey...and his siblings are sweet, I taught his sister how to do a...I think you call it cartwheel?”

“Did you get May to do a back flip?” He chuckled when their eyes bugged out. “I’m guessing that’s a long way down the recovery plan, but she learned to do all these flips down at track.”

“Your father..”

“Had no idea! She’d watch the cheerleaders practicing while doing her warm ups and stretches and stuff.” He saw Amelia roll her eyes as Carina chuckled. “Yeah, I’d tease her about that, but she wasn’t watching them like that, well, this is May, she can multi-task so maybe she was, but she was watching them learn how to do the flips and things they did as part of their routines. One day I was down there waiting for her so we could walk home together and it was one day when, for some reason, she had the track to herself by the end and she didn’t know I was there and she just...ran in her spikes down the sprint straight and jumped and…” He grinned. “...she made me swear to never tell anyone she’d learned how to do it. Probably a good thing she had to run so far for her medal, otherwise I think she’d have had enough energy left to celebrate with a flip or three.” Seeing he’d made Carina in particular smile, he was glad he’d shared that memory, glad he’d remembered it...actually, after first remembering the bike with Amelia yesterday, he’d been remembering more and more bits and pieces of the better times ever since, and it was...nice, which he told himself was such a lame word and he could do better than that, but then he remembered why he’d even started talking about it and cleared his throat. “Sorry, mind wandered, it’s kinda nice remembering the good stuff...been a while.”

“The brain is very clever at being devious, but it is amazing when it’s on our side.” It was Amelia’s turn to be on the receiving end of two shocked expressions. “What? Neurosurgeon, damn good one too, brains are my jam.” She recognised the look on Carina’s face. “No, not literally, they’re my thing, like lady bits are yours.” Mason choked. “Ok, bad turn of phrase. What I mean is I know lots about brains because that’s my surgical specialty, and this weird Italian who’s so nauseatingly in love with your sister the rest of us hate them both probably hasn’t properly introduced herself yet as the second best Obstetrician and Gynecologist I’ve ever met, which is such a mouthful we call them OBGYNs. And I have to call her the second best if I ever want to see my godson and have my ex-sister-in-law speak to me ever again.”

“Meredith?” Carina was confused - Meredith wasn't OBGYN.

“No, have I never told you? Addison Montgomery is my brother’s ex-wife. Mer is his widow.”

“Ah, oh.” Carina’s eyes went wide, wondering how on earth she’d not known that, delivering her opinion on Amelia’s secretive nature via her elbow. “Si, I am the second best OBGYN she knows.” Then she saw Mason still looked confused. “Obstetrics is the caring of the mamma during pregnancy and childbirth. Gynecology is the medicine of the female reproductive system. Addison Montgomery is...numero uno.”

“Ah. Thanks.” He was learning a lot, so much it should probably have made him want to bolt or something, but he was finding it all was helping him build up to what he was trying to say. “So, umm, this other part? You might be able to guess since you’re all super smart, I think May has...umm, but part of what Dr Bailey and I talked about was how, if I was going to paint the wall, I also was going to work at coming in from the street.” He scrubbed his hair and face. “It’s funny, May’s request to me was to understand that if I said yes to Dr Bailey’s offer of the wall, I had to stick by Dr Bailey and see it through, nothing about me having to stay around her.”

“Si, she wants you to make your own choices, but she wants to help you make smart ones like understanding what your commitment is before you were distracted by a big wall and lots of paints.” Carina reached out for his hand again. “But she would like to see you more, although she will never tell you that out of fear of pushing you away.”

“I get that now…” He also knew Dr Bailey’s conversation had helped immensely, but he wasn’t ready to share all of that yet, not wanting to talk about his father, not sure he wanted Carina to have to listen to any more talk about his father as she had already been through so much and was still amazingly supportive somehow. “...you’re incredible.”

“Eh?”

“Sorry, random, but you...you’re amazing and you’re here, listening to me while my sister’s...and all that before...I just...you’re incredible Carina. My sister is...so lucky to have you and I’m really happy for her, I hope you feel the same despite all the Bishop shit we’re flinging at you.”

“Grazie, e DeLuca’s have just as much ‘shit’ as you call it Mason. Tell me…” She wanted to let him find his own way through his story, she really did, but she was exhausted, could see his exhaustion was returning after the brief boost the food Amelia had taken him for had given, and she thought she knew what it was. “...your other part of this ‘contract’ you have with Dr Bailey, is to come in from the street and try to make a new life with your sister and without your father?”

“Yes, but…” He looked at Amelia, “are you sure brains aren’t her jam too?”

“She is as wise as she is hot my new young friend,” teased Amelia, winking at him, picking up on Carina’s exhaustion, guessing she’d picked up on Mason’s. Hell, Amelia’s head was spinning after everything she’d learned in this conversation so far, and she had a feeling she’d only arrived in the middle of the third act.

“And you are worried in case Maya will not agree?”

“Or that you won’t.”

“Fratellino…” She pulled him into a hug, rocking as she squeezed him tight, then released him. “...may I tell you something about your sister that you do not know? That she told me I was to tell you this morning, without her, so you could think about it and decide what to do with it yourself without worrying about doing what you think she wants you to?”

“O..k…”

“Bene. When your sister and I got back together, we had lots of talks about ourselves, the good and the bad. And there were difficult times and good times and then there was the time we each wanted to ask the other to move in with them, which was a good sign we were ready we thought.”

“Makes sense, I guessed you were that together.”

“Si. But we each had a place that we loved, so everyone who knew us prepared to have to cope while we had a big fight about where we moved to, only it turned out to be very, very simple. And no one, not even Andy or Amelia, know how we decided.”

“Didn’t they ask?”

“Si. And we told them that we decided to move into Maya’s apartment because it was bigger and my lease was ending sooner. But that was only a little bit true.”

“Her apartment, your apartment now is bigger…” muttered Amelia, not wanting to interrupt, but unable to resist trying to unpack this puzzle she was an unknowing participant in.

“Si. Mason…” Carina nudged them towards a nearby bench, her back complaining a little loudly, knowing also that it was unlikely Maya would be able to sit up so Carina would be back to leaning at awkward angles to see her again. “...your sister, once she could talk about your father, also started to tell me about her running in little bits and pieces. Some bits I am still only learning about, like I saw her running spikes from the Final only this week…but some bits she told me almost immediately once she could talk about it without impossible pain. You might know some of this, but some you will not.” She took a breath, unconsciously finding the part of her that could deliver the difficult news to patients, the part of her that could separate her own emotional response to the words she was hearing herself say and be strong for the ones who needed to hear. 

“Once she was selected for the National Squads, she had a grant for her training and living costs, but because she was living with you and your father was her official coach, he took the money and some of the things she got from the sponsors but could not use herself.”

“The SUV.”

“Si, she said. But there were other things, things she said were silly and embarrassing because she was not even ‘athletics nerd famous’ so would never be on breakfast cereal boxes or advertising boards even if she won, but she still was expected to do ‘in case’. They were all too little for your father to be interested in and were not things he could stop, so the Team USA people helped her set up what was the smart thing to do for all these little silly things, some of which were not quite so little in the end. She left it, lived what she calls a very boring life and told herself that when she came home with her Medal she would give it to you for Art School, if necessary get some help making you think you had got a ‘full ride’ scholarship if you would not take it from her.”

“But that’s…”

“Si, it was no longer a silly little amount of money.”

“And I…” He looked horrified when he realised what he’d done, prompting Carina to pull him into another hug, whispering in his ear to not think about the past, to just listen to the story. When she felt him nod against her shoulder, she let him sit back.

“She went to the Fire Academy on a scholarship and she, in her words, still lived a very boring life. When she completed the Academy and was assigned to Station 19, she used the money and her savings from living her 'very boring life' to buy the apartment we live in together now. It was the first time she had ever touched any of the money from her running life, having decided from the start it was, however small it would be, going to be yours. And I admit,” said Carina honestly, leaning her shoulder against the back of the bench, looking at him as he tried to take her advice and only concentrate on the story. “I only understand that decision now, after the talk you had with her before.” 

She reached out and took his hand, knowing this bit was the final piece in this big, messy story that needed to be told so that brother and sister could either start to permanently heal and reconcile or split forever...and hopefully, her instincts were telling her, thanks to the unwitting help of Amelia and Bailey and the firefighters and her brother, it would be reconciliation and the start of something new for them, together. But it was still a risk, and she could be wrong.

“The apartment has three bedrooms. The main space is beautiful, with bay windows and a fireplace. But what is special is in the third bedroom...there are skylights, not windows in the walls, and the roof is at angle…”

“...of 35 degrees?”

“Si, well, Maya said it was nearer 40, but that it was too close to complain about, especially when they let in light from…” she paused, sensing he would know the answer.

“...the North.”

“Si. It was your dream yes?”

“Yeah…” He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, working his way through the lump in his throat as the long forgotten memory suddenly returned in perfect clarity. “I read this article about Francis Bacon, how they’d moved his studio from England to Ireland and made it into a museum. It was the first time I’d read anything about an artist’s life, I’d…” He frowned. “I’d just got those pencils I think, with May’s help, and I think she saw this article and gave it to me...like she was now treating me like a ‘grown up artist’...I wasn’t big on reading, wouldn’t have found it myself but May…” He shook his head, remembering how he’d read anything she found for him because they were always interesting. “...and he sounded so cool and weird and I decided that if his studio was moving countries it had to be a pretty great one, so I read up about it as much as I could and talked to May for hours about all the little details I learned….and she remembered….that’s got to be, almost fifteen years ago I was telling her that.”

“She bought the apartment...I think Andy knows she used some of her running money to buy it so there is no ‘lease’ but no one else. Andy moved in with Maya for a while, still stays over sometimes, but in the second bedroom.”

“She bought an apartment because one of the bedrooms matched my artist studio dream from when I was a kid?”

Carina nodded.

“And you just moved into it without wanting to try somewhere different? Like, aren’t you supposed to start somewhere fresh a couple or something?”

Carina shrugged, thinking what she could say that wouldn’t embarrass him. The fireplace was lovely, the location was convenient for the station and the hospital and the bathroom...the shower...she had some very, very good memories of that shower.

“It is an awesome apartment…” said Amelia, helping Carina out. “...the kitchen is amazing and the fireplace makes it really cosy and welcoming in winter if this one manages to persuade ‘Firefighter Barbie’ to unbend a little.

“Firefighter Barbie?”

“A nickname she was given by someone who was very stressed that some people find funny,” said Carina, shooting Amelia a long-suffering look.

“Not Carina,” said Amelia quickly, thinking how easy it would be for Mason to misunderstand Carina’s explanation. “It’s just another super long story that’s so not worth it for how long and boring it is, aside from the whole ‘Firefighter Barbie’ nickname thing.”

“Ah.”

“But Amelia is right, the apartment is lovely and I very much like living there with Maya, even without knowing why she picked it.”

“I, umm….don’t know what to say.”

“You do not need to say anything Mason. Maya wanted you to know now, so that you might be able to understand that there is nothing you can do to make her not want you, that she wanted me to know so that I understood how important you were to her. That room is yours whenever you are ready for it, to use as a studio or as a bedroom or to not use at all. She asked me to tell you this now so that you can hopefully, if not yet believe our words, believe from where we live, that neither of us will ever send you away. And that your sister’s life has always had and always will have room in it for you when you are ready, and me being in her life does not change that.”

“What do I do?”

“Right now? I think you agreed to spend some time with Amelia yes?”

“Yes but…”

“None of this changes that Mason. Maya is so proud you are free of the drugs and what matters to her is that you do not lose your hard work because of her, because of us.” Carina struggled to suppress a yawn, finding her energy reserves were practically gone, the coffee and croissant boost also used up. “I dearly wish she was not injured…” She saw him nod in agreement. “...but I also know that without that moment you and I would not yet have met, and you and your sister would have all these truths still unsaid between you.” He nodded again, his eyes wet with unshed tears. “It is a lot to take in, to hear and to say, and that is true for everyone. So no one expects any rushed answers, or any answers before you are ready. But not telling you this did not seem right once you were able to talk about some of your childhood together.”

“I...yeah, thank you.” He looked past Carina to Amelia. “And thank you too, are you sure you don’t mind…”

“I don’t mind,” said Amelia promptly. “I don’t mind generally because I like you, I like your sister and I like a lot the one your sister loves.” She became a little more serious. “And I don’t mind specifically this morning because I am going to the meeting anyway, and I don’t mind specifically having lunch with you because it means I avoid going home until after the champagne brunch thing Mer is having, and you’re more fun than terrorising interns in the Pit.” Carina’s head whipped around so she was looking at Amelia on hearing this. “Yes, I haven’t told her, no I wasn’t going to because I didn’t want her trying to rearrange everything and then I didn’t anyway because I forgot what day it was with all the excitement around here.”

“Is that like your favourite hobby?”

“What?”

“Terrorising interns in the Pit.” He saw both doctors look at him in bemusement. “Dr Bailey offered to show me last night or said we could stay here and talk about paint. I picked staying here and she said the interns would enjoy that more too.”

“Is it a hobby?” Amelia looked thoughtful at this. “I’d say it was more of a guilty pleasure.”

“No,” disagreed Carina, seeing Teddy approaching, hoping that meant Maya was out of theatre. It also meant she rather forgot she wasn’t just having a normal conversation with Amelia. “A guilty pleasure is lunchtime sex, terrorising interns is not something you are guilty about.”

“Umm…” Teddy appeared in time to see Mason was red in the face and coughing, but still alive. “...does he need a doctor?”

“He’s fine, he’s just had to hear that Carina say that a guilty pleasure is lunchtime sex and realised she was talking about his sister,” which set Mason off coughing again.

“Do I want to know how that came up in conversation?” Weirdly, Teddy wasn’t surprised, just curious how it had worked its way into what had moments earlier, when she’d first spotted them across the lobby, looked a very intense conversation.

“He asked if terrorising interns is the favourite hobby here,” said Carina, standing up because she wanted desperately to go and see Maya, but also not wanting to abandon Mason while he was semi-choking, though the smile on his face as he did was slightly reassuring.

“Oh…” Teddy folded her arms as she thought about that. “Not sure I’d call it a hobby personally. Did you say it was a guilty pleasure?” she asked Amelia, chewing on her lip as she thought about that. “Hmm, I think I’m with Carina on that one...Hey!” She rubbed her side when Carina’s elbow scored a direct hit. “What did I…”

“Puppy ban!” laughed Amelia, remembering Carina’s threat from yesterday that whoever next mentioned threesomes was banned from playing with the puppies for a year.

“I did not mean like that…” groaned Teddy, glaring at Amelia, prepared to forgive Carina for misunderstanding her admittedly poorly phrased agreement, but knowing Amelia knew better. “...I meant I don’t think terrorising interns meets either the ‘guilty’ or the ‘pleasure’ part, unlike Carina’s example.” She turned to Carina. “I didn’t mean literal with you with you…” her eyes narrowed, seeing Carina’s amusement. “..but you knew that.”

“Si, the elbow was for making Mason laugh when he was coughing.” She was interrupted by another yawn, though that gave Mason another few seconds to get his breathing back in check. “How is Maya Teddy?” asked Carina seriously, searching her friend for any clues.

“Very good…” She looked to Mason, wanting to include him in her update too now he was returning to a normal colour. “...her ribs are in line, no plates necessary. We could also check out the rest of her incisions - all nice serosanguinous and no sanguineous.” She saw Mason frown, remembering he wasn’t a surgeon. “Sorry Mason, what I mean is Maya’s doing really well. The blood that you saw on the bed was from her stitches tearing and one of the little tubes we use to keep the healing nice and healthy shifting a bit. Serosanguinous drainage means healing is going really well and the body is doing what it’s supposed to. Sanguineous would mean that there was maybe a bit of an infection, or we hadn’t got the little tube in the best place, so it made sense while we had Maya in the operating theatre to fix her stitches on her rib, to check everything was as good as it could be. And it is, really good.”

“Her ribs are ok?”   
  
“Her ribs are very good, promise.” She saw him shyly nod and smile, which she returned, then refocused on Carina. “Aside from needing to recover from the anaesthetic, she can sit up when she wants to try that again, and she’s still on the order for clear fluids, though she’s probably missed the lunch round.”

“Grazie Teddy, is she…” Carina wasn’t actually sure where to guess Maya might be.

“Bailey’s with her in recovery now, she’d be already back in her room but Bailey decided to get something she wanted changed in the room done now without it disturbing Maya.” She saw Carina’s face start to shift to worry again. “Nothing medical, it’s actually for Mason I think?” Teddy looked at him, seeing if he could help explain. “Bailey was a little short on details.”

“Oh, umm, it might be a camp bed? They get put in the rooms of the kids so their parents can sleep with them she said? She made me promise to try and sleep on tonight when we were down here before.”

“Good, I’m glad. Do you want to…” Teddy inclined her head towards the elevators, bemused when Carina paused to give Mason a hug.

“Is he not coming?” she whispered to Amelia, not caught up on the full plan.

“After lunch, he’s spending time with me to give Carina some time…”

“Ah. She looks exhausted.”

“Yeah...but I think it’s going to be alright.”

“Yeah,” agreed Teddy, wrapping an arm around Amelia’s shoulders and giving her a brief squeeze of a hug, knowing how much she was helping Mason adjust to things in ways the rest of them couldn’t really begin to understand, knowing too that she’d brush off any attempt at a thank you from Carina or Maya for a while yet. “I do too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mamma mia, il mio stupido fratellino, come se il cappello da Babbo Natale non fosse abbastanza cattivo …Mamma mia, my stupid little brother, as if the Santa hat wasn't bad enough ...


	18. Chapter 18

“Ben…” Carina wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or frustrated to see her former colleague leaning against the wall outside Maya’s room. “...I…”

“Don’t worry, I’m just waiting for Miranda.” He understood Carina’s conflict. “You’re allowed to tell us all to back off you know? You’re allowed to be selfish.”

“Si, but…” She felt the pressure building in her eyes, his gentle understanding in a way the final straw.

“Hey…” Acting instinctively, he pushed off the wall and wrapped her in a gentle bear hug, his slight height advantage on her more obvious now she was wearing sneakers. “...let it out…” he encouraged, rubbing her back and looking at Teddy, who’d Carina had been walking back to Maya’s room with, raising his eyebrow in query.

“Sibling reunion popped a few stitches we fixed in the OR, but it’s also meant some…” Teddy didn’t know the details, but had kept pace with enough snippets. “...massive conversations happening simultaneously.”

“Ah.” He decided not to say anything else, knowing that his voice would sound loud to Carina, so he continued to rub her back with one hand while he briefly lifted his other hand away and made a thumbs up followed by a thumbs down signal to Teddy with another raised eyebrow.

Teddy shrugged, then made a thumbs up signal with a smile, which made Ben smile and nod, then return his attention to Carina, who seemed to have shifted from sobbing to sniffing.

“Scusa…”

“Nah, it’s laundry day.” He carried on just gently supporting her with his presence and lack of curiosity about why she had just sobbed on him. “Unless you’re wearing lipstick?” he teased gently, chuckling slightly at a very random memory. “Then you have to kiss Miranda before we go.”

“Eh?” Carina lifted her head back up and looked at him confused.

“Never go home with another woman’s lipstick on your clothes without your wife knowing all the details,” he explained, thinking back to very early on in his and Miranda’s marriage. “Before you arrived, and yeah, Teddy you were away too, there was something, intern mixer probably, and I ended up with one of them having their ‘I’m quitting’ crisis on me...Miranda came looking for me and, well, the lady in question turned around, kissed Miranda on the cheek, thanked her for everything and went and cleaned out her locker. Miranda was looking at my scrubs, which were covered in all this makeup but all she was really looking at was the bit of lipstick where the scrubs neck is?...and I just said ‘we match’.”

“Ah.” Carina smiled, running her hand over his shirt front, fairly certain there was no way she’d got any make-up still on, never mind lipstick. “You are safe,” she held up her hand to show him. “No make-up or lipstick.” She put her arms around him and returned the hug, squeezing in thanks for his quiet kindness, adding, “Plus I am not wearing any make-up.”

“That’s just not fair…” grumbled Teddy in mock exasperation, glad he’d been able to help Carina detour back into small, silly, ordinary thoughts for a moment, knowing her friend had been having a lot of intense conversations these last few hours.

“Feel a bit better?” he asked Carina quietly when he felt her pulling back from him, her eyes red but brighter.

“Si, grazie.” She smoothed his shirt front, frowning a bit at how damp it was.

“Remember, laundry day…” he teased, before asking carefully, “...you mind if I tell everyone to back off for a day? We’re not on shift again until Sunday...er, two days away...today’s Friday?”

“Oh...ah.” Carina nodded at getting the calendar sorted in her head again. New Year’s Day, one week from Christmas Day, both were on Friday this year. “You don’t need to…”

“I know I don’t need to, but I’m going to. You need time with her, for you.”

“I…”

“Sitting with her when she’s asleep isn’t what I mean Carina. I’m talking about time when it’s just the two of you. She’s got her phone still?”

“Si, Andy brought it yesterday, and now we have charged it and mine.”

“Then we’ll send her messages so she knows we’re around and give you guys a bit of space.” He squeezed her shoulders gently in a kind ‘chin up, you’re doing well’ type reassurance. “Let me be ‘Dad’ for you hey?”

“Si…” She smiled, leaning forwards and kissing his cheek, appreciating his kindness. “...grazie Ben. But not Andy per favore? She has some….mamma mia…” Carina sighed heavily, reaching instinctively in her pocket for her phone before realising she’d last seen it on the side by Maya’s bed when she’d put it on charge. “...I was supposed to text…”

“Carina?” At Teddy’s gentle call Carina stepped back from Ben and turned, including her forgotten friend in their conversation again. “Andy rang and I spoke to her..you were asleep with Maya and I was doing charts…” she added, providing the context for Carina as to when the call was, suspecting Carina had no more idea what time it was than the day of the week just now, seeing Carina’s face lose some of its confusion. “...she’s bringing some loose baggy shorts and button shirts for when Maya’s ready to try some clothes, underwear and toiletries for you and I suggested she grab you some jeans and a shirt or something, so you don’t have to wear scrubs all the time if you don’t want to.” Teddy chewed her lip, trying to think about what else in the ‘things’ line she and Andy talked about. “She said something about a bag you’d asked her to bring in, and was going to grab a few other things like Maya’s book and tablet?”

“Grazie Teddy.”

“I’ll make sure Andy knows it doesn’t mean her,” agreed Ben, knowing even without the ‘bringing in things’ reason that Andy was a different sort of company for Maya and Carina compared to the rest of A shift. “Now…” He titled his head towards the door. “...if I remember my anaesthesiology, I think someone’s going to be waking up in a minute.”

“Si?” Carina started trying to rub at her face, knowing she must look like she’s been crying which would worry her girlfriend, only for Teddy to catch her hands and hold them.

“You’re fine.” She saw Carina roll her eyes. “Really. And so’s she.” She squeezed Carina’s hands gently, using them to steer Carina over to the door, which Teddy braced against with her shoulder, preparing to open it. “Go tell her how much you love her and kiss her.”

“Si.” Carina nodded, no longer worried about how red or puffy her eyes were. “Grazie mille.”

“Always…” Teddy pushed open the door and as soon as it was open enough, Carina slipped through.

  
  


“Theatre?”

“Yeah…” Teddy pulled off her forgotten scrub cap and went to sit on the couch on the other side of the corridor, suddenly feeling that she’d finished her shift hours ago.

“Infection?”

“No...she and Mason, they seem to have talked about the hard stuff all in one go…”

“Sounds like Bishop,” agreed Ben, also knowing that it was almost certainly more than either one of them should have probably had to cope with in a very short period of time, never mind given Maya was also recovering from major surgery. “Two of them probably makes it worse.”

“Yeah...but it seems to have cleared the air between them and Carina was there and she’s, you know…”

“Yeah. I know.” He’d said as much to Amelia on Christmas Day - there was the stuff in Maya’s life they knew, that they could talk about and support each other through as a team, and then there was all the other stuff, some of which, like the restraining order, they knew a tiny bit about to enable them to support and help, and then there was the stuff they knew nothing about, that Carina did. “What happened?”

“Maya had just started sitting up and she leaned forwards and hugged Mason, who hugged her back.”

“Ouch.” Ben pictured the moment, mentally totting up the risks. “Drain move?”

“Yeah…”

“Ribs or abdomen?”

“I told Carina her rib drain had moved, but she'd already seen that in Maya's room before.”

“But?”

“Two here…” Teddy gestured to her abdomen, glad to be able to ease her guilt at not telling the whole truth to her friend. “...and I had to reset the higher broken rib again.”

“You didn’t tell her that?”

“I…” Teddy closed her eyes, remembering her words. “...told her and Mason that Maya’s ribs were in place and she was fine, and that all the incisions were good with no sanguineous drainage.” She opened her eyes and looked at her friend. “...which is the truth.”

“Yeah, but…”

“I’m not telling Carina that by letting Maya and Mason hug I had to reposition her rib and three drains Ben. Not today. Because that will have Mason running and Maya trying to run after him. The drains moved, I moved them back. The rib moved, I moved it back. Can we get away with that again? No, probably not. Next time that rib moves it will probably puncture her lung and need plating to stay in place and then I have to tell her I can’t guarantee she’d be able to return to full duty. But there won’t be a next time.”

“How do you know?”

“Because…” Teddy looked at him, trying to find the words to make him understand, realising there was too much context he’d need to fully understand. “...because he’s calling her Carina and she, I think, is calling him her little brother.”

“Oh.” That was different to when Ben had seen them together yesterday. “Does Miranda know?”

“Do I know what?” asked Miranda, letting the door close behind her.

“Telling Carina Maya’s ribs are fine.”

“It was my idea Ben Warren, so don’t you go getting in Teddy’s head.” Miranda walked up to him and wrapped her arms around her husband, her tone softening as she looked up at him. “I know you, and I know what you mean, but right now they’re not your Captain and my best Attending OBGYN, that’s a big sister getting her little brother back after a lifetime of hurt by a man who don’t deserve to be called a father, and the three of them becoming a family. Joey needed pizza and video games, Maya needed to hug her brother. Get over it.”

“Yes ma’am.” Despite her firm words, Ben was smiling, getting it now. “Hey!” His smile shifted when he felt Miranda’s hand tap his lower back as she pulled back, frowning.

“Why’s your shirt wet?”

“Carina used him as a handkerchief.”

“That’s my man…” beamed Miranda, immediately feeling bad for the tap she gave him. “...she ok, I mean...?”

“Yeah…” Ben answered instinctively, then thought about it, nodding his head this time. “...yeah, now she’s in there, I think she is.”

“Good.” Miranda stepped back and looked at Teddy. “What?”

“A camp bed?”

“Sure...and Maya’s got a new bed too. Come on Altman, I’m buying you breakfast.”

“Does it come with alcohol?”

Ben sighed, a smile on his face. Laundry was going to have to wait.

“Tell me where I’m driving you ladies.” 

“Oh, you got him well trained…” sighed Teddy, accepting Miranda’s gentle shove to get her feet moving.

  
  


* * *

“Car…” Maya blinked, feeling fuzzy and sleepy but also awake.

“Bella…” whispered Carina, propping her head up on her hand so she could look down at her girlfriend more easily, using her other hand to lift some strands of hair away from Maya’s face so she didn’t get her nose tickled.

“Hey…” Maya turned her head towards Carina’s voice, still blinking away the fuzziness, frowning a bit when she saw where Carina’s head was. “...how…”

“How did I get here?” guessed Carina, not surprised that Maya’s brain went to the practicalities before the romance, it joyful in it’s own weird way. “You have a new bed, from Bailey.” She rolled onto her back and turned her head back towards a very frowning Maya. “You did not feel me move?”

“No.”

“Bene.” Carina turned back onto her side and shuffled backwards, creating a space between her and Maya, her movements again seeming to not cause Maya any pain. “It is a new bed the hospital is to try. It is meant for the bariatric…” Maya’s brain was up to speed on Carina related matters immediately after anaesthetic, but not everything, and what that word meant was still in the fuzzy bit of her brain. “...the very big people who are too big for an ordinary bed.” Carina smiled when she saw Maya’s eyes widen as she carefully moved her left arm out towards Carina, realising how far away she was now she was at the far edge of the bed, her back to the bed rail. “Si, it is almost a square. But Miranda has an idea and we are trying it for her.”

“Mmm?” Maya watched as Carina shuffled back towards her, smiling as she came back closer again and propped her hand up on her elbow so Maya could see her face properly without squinting.

“The bed, it has sections to…” Carina abandoned that train of thought, deciding she really didn’t want to mention the problems of bed sores for long term patients generally and how they were worse for larger, less mobile patients. “...help with comfort but they also mean that if I am over here, I can…” She wiggled her hips from side to side, meaning, since she was lying on her right hip, that she was lifting her hips slightly off the bed a couple of times. “...do that and the bit of the bed you are on does not move, so you do not get pain.” She saw Maya’s smile, which had shifted down a degree or two of brightness as Carina talked about the mechanics of the bed, increase again, her eyebrow raising, making Carina playfully tut and roll her eyes at her predictability, though she did thread her fingers through Maya’s and give them an affectionate squeeze. “...Bailey thinks it might be useful sometimes for the children who need the reassurance from a family member, so we are testing it as this is not its official use.”

“Ah.” Maya was feeling less fuzzy now, but getting sleepy again. “Am I o…” A yawn interrupted her question.

“Si, you are very ok. 

Teddy is pleased with all your incisions and your ribs did not need any metal.” Carina appreciated Teddy’s kind way of explaining how Maya’s surgery had gone, but she expected to see, when Maya’s chart had been updated with the surgery notes, that the rib had needed some help, as she’d felt it was not right when she’d eased Mason off Maya after the first moments of the hug, knowing the value was in the fact they each knew the other wanted to have the other one back in their life but not prepared to risk Maya for any second longer than that needed. She also knew, from her own patients, that the incisions in Maya’s lower abdomen would have been sorely tested by her leaning as far forward as she did, but was glad that Teddy was happy no damage had been done. As for why Teddy’s explanation had been so selective, Carina would worry about another day, but for now just be grateful Maya was fundamentally no worse for her ordeal. 

“But that is the only life you had Maya…” said Carina seriously, tempering her firmness with a kiss to Maya’s crinkled forehead and stroking her hand. “...if you move like that again before Teddy says you can…” She felt the tears forming in her eyes again, but she knew she had to make sure her sometimes stubborn girlfriend understood.

“No puppies,” acknowledged Maya, remembering the conversation she’d had with Carina after her head was clear from the last surgery, which since it was Carina related, was firmly stored in the not fuzzy bit of her head. “They go to Andy’s house.” 

That was the deal.

If Maya didn’t stick with her recovery carefully, which included not trying to overtax her abdominal muscles before they had healed, she wouldn’t be able to lift anything heavier than a glass of water by the time the puppies were old enough to leave the foster dog, and Carina had been very clear - the puppies were only moving into the apartment if Maya was safely able to pick them up and steady enough on her leg to not be tripped by them. It was tough love, but it had made the severity of her current situation suitably real to Maya and she’d accepted the deal...along with its side terms of no pity or she slept on the couch when she was well. Carina wasn’t so harsh to kick her out of their bed when she was still recovering, but had solemnly drawn ‘couch night’ list on a spare piece of paper in her chart, which would keep a record for when Maya was healed...which would, Carina had said airily, probably coincide with when Maya’s body was healed enough to be able to enjoy an orgasm, which Maya wouldn’t be getting from Carina if she was sleeping on the couch. 

Maya’s eyes had nearly fallen out of her head when she’d realised the significance of that casual throwaway comment, not that she was currently feeling at all sexy with all the lines and stuff attached to her, and she quickly determined that her girlfriend was an evil genius and she would be a very good patient. Combined with Carina’s positive affirmation technique of promising Maya a kiss every time she proactively remembered to be a good patient, rather than just not fighting when she was reminded of her limits or someone offered her help, and the hug with Mason was the genuinely first backward step she’d taken. But in true Bishop style, it had been more of a hop, skip and a giant backward leap rather than a single step.

“No bella...pompiere finito.”

“Oh.” That, although not a phrase she’d ever heard before, contained Italian words she understood, and didn’t like being that close together. “That’s bad.”

“Si.” Carina kissed a thoughtful forehead and nose, then leaned back again, not stopping in her stroking. “But only if there is a next time.”

“I’ll be good...does Mas…”

“Your brother knows that you are as you were, that everything is looking good and that Teddy is very happy with your current situation. I have not told him how close it was to being different and I will not. I am only telling you so you understand why I will be so very angry if I see you trying to push yourself il mio amore.”

“Why didn’t you stop us?”

“Perché le tue costole non erano l'unica parte di te che era un po 'rotta, e quell'abbraccio era l'operazione di cui entrambi i cuori avevano bisogno per iniziare a guarire. Ed è il tuo cuore forte che aiuterà le tue costole a guarire e sarà il mio bellissimo, forte Capitano che amo così tanto.,” she said, deliberately saying it in Italian first because she knew that Maya loved to hear her speak her native language, knew she managed to feel Carina’s emotions more clearly when she was speaking Italian as she spoke from the heart without having to think about the words. “Because your ribs were not the only part of you that was a little bit broken, and that hug was the surgery both your hearts needed in order to start to heal. And it is your strong heart that will help your ribs to heal and be my beautiful, strong Captain who I love so much.”

“I promise I’ll be good…” whispered Maya, crying at how wonderful and amazing Carina was. “...I love you…” She instinctively went to move towards Carina to kiss her, but stopped herself almost immediately, before she’d moved anything other than her head, making her smile sheepishly as she let her head sink back into the pillow.”

“Bene bellissima…” praised Carina, pleased and amused at her girlfriend’s reaction. “Ti amo.”

“Bac...iami?” she asked hopefully, trying not to yawn but failing, knowing she was losing the battle to stay awake but not fighting it, not with Carina holding her hand and her foot Maya now realised, resting on the sheet on top of Maya’s left shin just above her ankle, the weight of Carina’s leg still on the bed.

“Si, ti bacerò sempre…” Carina bent forwards, capturing Maya’s lips, smiling when she felt the insistent nudge at her lips from Maya’s tongue as she sought to deepen the kiss, a temptation she was too exhausted and relieved to even attempt to resist, though she did just about manage to remember not to react to the tugging on the waistband of her scrub pants as Maya tried to coax her body closer. Too soon though, the kiss was interrupted by a yawn - who was caught out first neither of them knew, but the yawn was highly infectious and soon they were yawning together.

“What do you keep saying?” asked Maya, deciding she would be more organised next nap and get her left arm around Carina rather than squashed between them, but right now it would mean her girlfriend moving and she was far too tired for Maya to even consider mentioning it. “Doe me amo…” She frowned, that didn’t sound right.

“Dormi amore mio…” mumbled Carina, letting her head settle on ‘her’ pillow, having that awkward problem of what to do with her arms as she knew she mustn’t do what she’d instinctively do at this point, which was to virtually lie on top of Maya, wrapping her arms around her and finally feeling like everything was going to be alright when she felt Maya wrap her arms around her and squeeze her tight. 

“Yeah…” Maya turned her head to look at Carina now she was settled on the pillow, seeing the frown and feeling what the problem was. “Left hand on my shoulder…”

“Maya..” grumbled Carina, opening one eye and giving her a rather effective glare. “...you promised.”

“Your left hand on my left shoulder.” Stubborn Maya became a more awake Maya.

“But…”

“Right hand my left hand.” She fought off a yawn. “Trust me?” She waited until she felt Carina, with extreme care, tangle her fingers with Maya’s left hand and put her left hand pretty much exactly where she’d put it less than three hours earlier when Maya was showing her how well she could pinpoint her muscles. 

Maya concentrated harder than she really could remember doing, determined not to make a mess of her idea, knowing she was practically asleep with her eyes open but enough of her brain had woken up and defuzzed to realise what the last few days must have been like for Carina, and to not only remember what her girlfriend’s instinctive need was to then avoid nightmares, but to try and work out a way she could still help. Carefully, making sure she only used her arm muscles, she lifted their joined hands until they were resting on the extreme left edge of her pelvis, instinct making her hope that even a little bit of pressure there wouldn’t anger her abdominal muscles because the weight was being borne by her hip bone mostly, as well as being about as far away from her incisions as it was possible to be. 

After a nervous moment, she discovered her hunch was right.

Then, with equal carefulness, she repeated the leg movement she’d shown her brother, though this one was a little more complicated to get right, and her mouth gave her away as it did the weird wiggly thing she didn’t know how to stop that just occasionally still reappeared...and fortunately only Carina ever saw.

“Maya…” warned Carina, her sleepiness tempering her concern but still very real, feeling a tiny bit of movement in her girlfriend’s left hip through their joined hands, and the leg that her foot was resting against moving.

“No pain…” said Maya, glad when Carina took the unsubtle hint and moved her left leg away from Maya’s so she could move it without the added resistance Carina’s leg being on it created. “...there.” She knew better than to try and push her leg out any further, or to lift her head to try and see where it had ended up. “Foot...me…” She gave up stopping the yawns now, her eyes nearly shut now she didn’t have the movements to concentrate on above everything else. “I think…” She willed herself to wake up to finish explaining her idea when she felt Carina still stiffly adjacent to her, not sure what this position was for. “...if you go too far you wake you before you hurt me.”

“Eh?” Carina arched her neck, craning her head to look down the bed. “Ah.” She now saw what Maya had done, and what she meant.

Relaxing her head back onto the pillow, she repeated her earlier shuffling demonstration until she was once again lying close to Maya’s side, only a finger width between their bodies. Getting her head comfortable on the pillow, she let her body relax, starting to feel the familiar warmth radiating from her girlfriend against her front, glad that Bailey had gathered the sheet at Maya’s side, so Carina’s wiggling didn’t pull the sheet and pressure her girlfriend’s injuries. With their joined hands resting against the edge of Maya’s hip, Carina might be unlucky with some pins and needles in her hand when she woke, but what it was doing was creating a barrier that, if she did accidentally fall forwards, she’d effectively punch herself in the abdomen and simultaneously elbow herself in the breast, which would wake her up before she landed on her girlfriend. Meanwhile, with Maya’s left leg lying at a slight angle, she could further stop herself from rolling onto her girlfriend by putting her left foot just inside her girlfriend’s left foot, so her leg was draped over Maya’s left leg, but again, not near her incisions. 

It was, she realised once she was settled, Maya’s comfort at her position evident by how she’d drifted into a light doze while Carina was shuffling about, exactly what she’d missed these last couple of nights at Maya’s side, when she’d been able to see Maya but not feel her...and not get that sense that there was this tiny corner of the world where everything was well and not terrifying….“Bene?” she mumbled, unable to not check that Maya was ok with how she ended up, discovering she could kiss the top of her girlfriend’s bare shoulder, which she did, and did again when she heard the amused rumble of contentment it caused Maya to make.

“Dore mee tee ammo…” instructed Maya, her words slurring as she was now more asleep than awake, squeezing Carina’s hand.

“Si...e grazie mi amore.” 

It was good advice...and Carina took it, Maya staying just awake enough to feel her girlfriend, who was probably more exhausted than she was, drift into what Maya recognised as feeling like her girlfriend was genuinely relaxed into sleep. She wouldn’t be able to describe what it was that meant she knew Carina was properly asleep rather than snatching a nap while keeping enough of her brain awake in case she was paged - that was the sort of sleep Maya might get if she slept when on shift, and experience had taught her very early on that it didn’t count as rest - but somehow she knew that her girlfriend was finally allowing herself to rest.

Now Carina was properly sleeping, Maya allowed herself to finally let go there too, happy not to fight the need to be quiet and still now she had Carina by her - now she could feel how much Carina needed her to be there it was easy to just ‘be’ there for her girlfriend...except this time, unlike when she found this part of her that could be quiet and still and not go for run because Carina was wrapped tight around her in her sleep, this time, Maya joined her girlfriend in falling fast asleep in this strange-but-rather good-for-a-hospital bed one final thought in her mind…

…perhaps Miranda was a good name for a puppy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well?
> 
> Thanks for reading :-)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you for all the comments after the last batch of chapters. I will catch up on my replies, but for now.... hope you enjoy :-)

“Eeeegggg…”

Hearing Carina’s stomach gurgling for the third or fourth time in fairly quick succession, Maya reluctantly decided she needed to try and nudge her girlfriend awake. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been awake - probably not too long based on the number of times she’d heard the quiet beep and hiss of air as something in the array of gadgets she was attached to did whatever it was supposed to do. She thought, though she’d tried to be good and it had taken until now to work it out exactly (rather than the first time she was conscious of hearing it, which was some time on Wednesday), that the beep and hiss happened every 10 minutes or so based on other cues she could see, and she’d heard it twice, once almost as soon as she’d opened her eyes, and once again just before her girlfriend’s stomach started ‘singing’.

“Carina?” Maya spoke barely above a whisper, still fairly certain Carina was quite deeply asleep, but if she wasn’t, her whisper would probably be enough, especially if her girlfriend had shifted into ‘on shift’ sleeping mode.

No response, not even a mostly asleep mutter, though her stomach made its little gurgling noise again. Maya’s stomach, when in ‘feed me now’ mode, in Carina’s opinion growled, demanding food in a grumpy way. Carina’s stomach though, and Maya knew she was both biased and in so much trouble if any of their combined group of friends found out she thought this, was far more tuneful in its demands for food. Carina, in her very Carina-way, when Maya had pointed this out one lazy afternoon when they’d been wrapped naked around each other after several glorious orgasms, agreed and said her stomach was a happy stomach and sang about its hunger rather than growled like Maya’s angry one. Which, she’d continued, trailing fingers over all the right spots on her girlfriend to make Maya a really, really unfocused debater who would lose a memory test with a goldfish, wasn’t surprising given her stomach had been brought up on Italian food while Maya’s…

“That is a lovely smile…” said Carina sleepily, looking at her girlfriend smiling as she remembered something, though what it might be Carina had no idea.

“Hmm?” Maya blinked, refocusing on her girlfriend’s face, seeing she was awake. “You’re awake.”

“Si…” She paused, feeling her stomach’s hunger a moment before it made its noise.

“It’s been ‘singing’ for a while…” admitted Maya, realising she’d lost whatever tentative grasp of time she’d had when she daydreamed about that afternoon, months ago.

“Ah….” Carina began to understand the smile she’d seen. “...that was a very good afternoon…”

“Only very good?” teased Maya, raising her eyebrow.

“Magnifica?” suggested Carina, carefully returning her left foot to ‘her’ side of Maya’s new hospital bed.

“That sounds better,” agreed Maya cheekily, squeezing Carina’s hand which she’d been stroking.

“Aie!” Carina rolled onto her back and let go of Maya’s hand in shock.

“Carina!” Maya almost, almost moved to sit up, but managed to limit herself to reaching out with her left hand to find her girlfriend’s hip, wanting to provide some sort of reassuring contact, while also feeling for the familiar shape of the call button which was resting against her right hand, just in case she needed it.

“Formicolio…” explained Carina, now she was over the surprise, but starting to sit up.

“I don’t know what that means.” Maya was pleased to see Carina was able to sit up and looking and sounding much calmer, but the worry for her was intensified by the knowledge that at best all she could do was use the call button to summon reinforcements. She wasn’t used to having to call for reinforcements - she was too used to being the reinforcements others called for.

“Tingles, in my hand…” Carina flexed and closed her hand a few times, feeling the blood circulation returning. “...umm, you call it something...needles and something?”

“Oh….” Maya’s heart rate visibly lowered saw Carina, unable to not automatically glance at the monitors when they had appeared in her eye line as she sat up. “...pins and needles.”

“Si...pins and needles.” Carina lay back down again, turning onto her right side once more, even though it would probably make the pins and needles come back. “Forgive me bella?”

“What for?”

“Not thinking...I did not mean to worry you.”

“I was…” Maya was about to shrug off Carina’s concern, try to downplay it, when she saw her eyes drift up so she was looking past Maya towards the cluster of monitors, reminding her she had a pulse-ox monitor on her right index finger. “...a tiny bit worried and a lot frustrated.”

“Frustrated?”

“Because I could only push the call button if you needed help…” Maya bit her lip, knowing Carina would understand, knowing from what she’d done with Dr Lewis in these last few months that she needed to share what she was feeling with Carina for stuff like this. “...I’m usually the help.”

“This is only temporary…” Carina propped her head up on her elbow, so she could see Maya properly. “...and you will not be this restricted for much longer.” She saw Maya frown and start to speak, then change her mind when she saw Carina hadn’t finished. “Teddy did not see anything to make her change her earlier decision. So you will be able to try some broth and sitting up later if you would like to?” She smiled at the predictability of Maya’s prompt nodding at the option of trying even a tiny bit of movement again. “And sometime Andy will be by with your book and some things from home…” She saw Maya frown, wondering what the problem might be with what she’d just said, then spotted it. “...what is your current book about bella?”

“Running through New Zealand.”

“Ah...si...” Carina knew Maya didn’t particularly like to read fiction, and her non-fiction tastes had been very narrow and very ‘practical’ in their topic, but one area she had branched out into was the type of travel writing that charted someone’s epic physical endurance feat. Attracted to them for their practicality - Maya was always interested in how people sustained prolonged periods of high levels of physical activity, since their shifts could see them doing just that, with very little time to rest before the next one started, but she found she also enjoyed them for the insight into places she hadn’t been to. An added bonus had been when she branched out again from runners and marathons in remote corners of the world and read a book about the Tour de France, discovering that not only had Carina been to some of the places the book was talking about, but that cycling was something she knew a bit about. “...ah ha!” Energised with her idea, Carina leaned over and kissed her confused girlfriend.

“I saw a review...there is a book that looks good about the Giro d’Italia…”

“Oh?” That did sound like the sort of book she’d enjoy, and not be as frustrated by as her current one, since Maya did not find she looked at the Cascade Mountains and thought they looked good for cycling up. “When were you seeing cycling book reviews?” While her internet browsing history might see the search engine algorithms send her in that direction, Carina generally only ventured in that direction very rarely.

“It has just been translated into Italiano, the review was in my rivista.” She frowned as she tried to remember the author. “I will need to look it up again, but it is an English book, so you can probably get it on your tablet…” She looked at Maya thoughtfully, struggling to see how she would manage to comfortably read a physical book for a few more days at least. “...and that Teddy said Andy was bringing.” She had actually thought, reading the review, she might suggest it to Andrea in the hope the sports angle might get him interested in learning a bit more about his homeland, often frustrated at how limited his knowledge was, away from the places they had family that he’d visited.

Her stomach joined in.

“Your stomach agrees…” teased Maya, moving her left hand so she could just about poke her girlfriend’s flat stomach. “...it’s singing for Italian food…” She chewed on her lip, realising it didn’t matter that she hadn’t eaten or drunk anything for she didn’t know how long, because she was attached to things sorting that out for her so hadn’t felt ‘hunger’ or ‘thirst’, but Carina wasn’t in the same position...and now she thought about it, Maya’s last memory of seeing anyone eat was the team when they came by and at her insistence ordered and ate some Chinese take out...but Carina didn’t. “...when did you last eat something?”

“Amelia bought me breakfast while you were with Teddy and Bailey.”

“Coffee and…” Maya looked at Carina, deep in thought. “...I remember you said it was sleeting, so...lobby cart…” Her nose twitched as she tried to picture the various options they usually had, what Carina’s preferences were that Maya knew about, then adjusted her list knowing it was Amelia doing the buying. “...chocolate almond croissant? Or were they all gone?”

“Si, you know me too well…”

“No, not possible,” said Maya simply, considering it a fact and failing to appreciate the romanticness of it as a statement, preoccupied with making sure Carina took care of herself. “Will you go and get something to eat and drink please?”

“Oh! Of course, it is bothering…” Carina became flustered as she tried to sit up again, only to get a firmer poke in the stomach from her girlfriend.

“Hey…” Maya, working hard on remembering to wait for Carina to come back into her eye line, rather than trying to move into Carina’s line of vision, caught her lip in her teeth.

“That is a big frown bella.” Based on the prod, Carina had expected Maya to start talking as soon as she turned back towards her, but that didn’t happen, and a few seconds later, Maya was still silent, biting down on her lip. “Is it the pain? I can…”

“Mmm? No!” Maya made a conscious effort to look relaxed and mostly pain-free. “I’m...there’s no screaming, just a...everything is too heavy and sore like you’ve had too many long shifts and you’ve just been called in early to start your next one feeling?” She looked at the ceiling, not wanting to be distracted by Carina while she did another mental inventory of herself to make sure she wasn’t putting herself at risk of a night on the couch, making sure she was sticking to the plans she’d worked on with Dr Lewis, though admittedly they hadn’t had something this extreme in mind when they’d worked on them…. “Yeah,” she decided, looking back at Carina. “I mean, I’m stiff and sore like I did my run and forgot to warm up or stretch after, but I guess…”

“So what was the frowning for?” asked Carina quietly, propping her head up on her hand again and stroking a fingertip over Maya’s forehead and down her nose, making her smile.

“It started trying to work out if you’d been taking care of yourself as well as me and Mas...but I bit my lip thinking about that and then…” Maya tried to work out how to explain her distraction. “...I noticed my lips aren’t dry, and that made me wonder how when....” She inclined her head slightly towards her right foot, a vague reference to her ‘stuff’ she was connected to. “I get that would mean I shouldn’t feel hunger or thirst, but surely lips still go a bit dry?”

“Ah, we have some little secrets…” teased Carina, amused when she saw Maya’s eyebrow raise. “...very boring ones. It is Vaseline.”

“Vaseline?”

“Si, we put it on your lips when you are as sleepy as you have been bella, now you are more awake you will be given it to use.”

“We as in…”

“Scusa...it is done for you in the OR and Recovery rooms, the nurses would do it here but because I was here it was me, only twice.”

“Ah, cool.” Maya grinned, pleased to have the mystery solved, only to notice it had conveniently distracted her from her original puzzle. “Will you go and get something to eat please?” Before Carina’s could object, her stomach ventured an opinion on her behalf.

“Maya…” began Carina, not wanting to debate this, not wanting to leave her without anyone to keep her company if she was too awake to sleep.

“I can’t catch you at the moment.”

“I am not ru…” Carina had been about to say ‘running’, thinking Maya was making a reference to catching her up but that didn’t make sense and then the word stopped in her throat.

Christmas Day. 

Earlier with Ben she had finally really registered it was New Year’s Day. And New Year’s Day was one week on from Christmas Day.

And Christmas Day Maya had literally caught her, because she had gone too long with too much stress from all the deliveries and consults and had not had enough to eat or drink.

But Maya could not catch her...actually, Carina thought that was probably not correct - her stubborn, wonderful, beautifully kind hearted girlfriend probably would catch her if she saw Carina fainting again without caring about what it did to her own health. And that, as romantic as it sounded, was unacceptable to the doctor.

“Si…” She leaned in and tenderly kissed Maya, drawing out the contact of their lips for as long as she felt it was fair to ask her girlfriend’s lungs to cope with. “...scusa, I was not thinking.” She kissed Maya again, more quickly this time as she could feel the pins and needles returning to her arm that was supporting her head. “I am going to try and stand up…”

“Is your back sore?”

“No…” Carina sat up and stretched, unwittingly giving Maya access to the warm skin of her back when the t-shirt rode up at the back. “...mmm…” She savoured the feeling of Maya’s fingers rubbing up and down the ridges of her lower spine. “...perhaps I will say yes another time,” she joked, looking back over her shoulder at her girlfriend. “But I think I should have said escape…” she added turning around to her left and inspecting the bed rail which, as befitting the bed’s original purpose, was rather sturdy. “Could you press the button per favore?”

“But…” Maya was about to ask why Carina didn’t at least want to try and investigate, when she saw the slightly pained expression on her girlfriend’s face. “...oh….” She moved her right thumb, wincing a little at the stiffness, but managed to make contact with the button. “Done.”

“Grazie.” Carina closed her eyes and drew her knees up to her chest, immediately regretting it when it only made her more aware of her suddenly rather pressing need.


	20. Chapter 20

“Hello?”

“Herrera, help Carina down fast.”

“Umm…” Not expecting that welcome, Andy had worked with Maya long enough to recognise that tone of voice and her body was working on automatic pilot before she’d stopped to think about the strange context. “...oh.” Bags put on the floor, Andy was quickly around to the side of the bed, deciding as she looked at Carina and the bed itself, there was a quick solution or an elegant solution, and her Captain’s voice told her it was the quick solution that was needed.

“Can you crouch with your hands on my shoulders Carina?” Andy found herself once again marvelling at the tall doctor’s ability to fold herself into a seemingly impossibly tiny amount of space, though the bed did seem rather more massive than she’d remembered.

“Hose drill?” guessed Carina, still just about able to see the funny side, despite her discomfort.

“Nope, lift and carry. Let go of my shoulders and…” 

Knowing what was happening, and despite being unable to see it due to her flat angle, Maya grinned and just remembered her injuries in time to not laugh when she heard Carina’s shriek of surprise, followed seconds later by the loud slam of the door onto the small en-suite bathroom.

“Fluid intake’s alright then?” joked Andy, coming up closer to the head of the bed and leaning over to grin at her best friend. “You alright?”

“Yeah...there should be someone coming, we’d pressed the button.”

“Ah, yeah…” Andy looked up to the door and waved in the nurse who was standing next to Mason looking a bit bemused. “...they arrived when Carina shrieked.”

“How’s your shoulder?” asked Maya, able to picture what Andy would have done. “Right’s your weaker side still?”

“It’s good actually,” Andy did a couple of practice rotations of the shoulder, then stretched her neck a couple of times. “It just always feels so weird, doing it that way round.” She rolled her eyes when she saw Maya’s mouth open. “And yes, you did warn me at the Academy I’d regret it but…”

“Not what I was going to say,” said Maya, sticking her tongue out at her best friend, causing her to hear two people laugh. “Who’s that?”

“Sorry Captain Bishop…” One of the nurses who’d been on for the last couple of days approached the head of Maya’s bed on her right side so she could see her, not sure the Captain had learned her name but she’d become accustomed to her popping in and out to do checks and so forth. “I’m guessing the call was because Dr DeLuca was stuck?”

“Si…” Carina appeared in the doorway of the bathroom looking, to those that could see her, much calmer and more at ease than a couple of minutes earlier. “...grazie Andy, I was…”

“...stuck?” joked Andy, not phased by the rather unexpected way her visit with Maya had started. “It’s ok, most people call for the fire department when they’re stuck.” She looked back at the bed. “This is…”

“Huge.”

“Mas?”

“Hi May. You ok?” He was a bit slow to understand that Andy was trying to get him to take her place in Maya’s viewing zone, so Carina took matters literally in hand.

“Muoviti fratellino, lei non ti vede e non morde.” Although Maya and Mason didn’t understand her, Andy chuckled as Carina prodded him into movement, able to work out what Carina was suggesting.

“Think you’re the one more likely to bite Carina…” said Andy, once she’d worked out what was making that incredible noise she’d just heard. 

“Do I have sit up on my own to see you?”

“Oh!” The nurse and Carina sprang into action, and a couple of moments later the bed was once more at the very shallow upward angle that meant Maya was still effectively ‘flat’ without her abdomen needing to bend, which enabled her to see a little bit more of her surroundings and eased the pressure on her ribs a little bit, though given everything else she was feeling, she didn’t really notice that. “Scusa bella…” apologised Carina, finally also getting an opportunity to try and understand how this new bed rail moved, along with the rest of the bed. “...ah, it is all electric…” she studied the bed control buttons, satisfied she would know for next time, then put the controller on the corner of the bed and leaned in to kiss Maya as further apology, though it wasn’t as easy standing at the side of the wider bed, as with Maya lying nearer the right side to create the space for Carina and so the lines didn’t stretch too tight, she was a long way from Carina. “This is going to take some practice…” she grumbled, giving in and, for safety, kissing Maya’s shoulder and squeezing her hand.

“Worth it, especially if I can sit up again later,” said Maya quietly, adjusting to the slightly different angle, feeling the weight of her right arm pulling a bit differently on her shoulder as she tried to work out where her hand was relative to dressings and things she didn’t want to prod. “Thank you too,” she said when she had mostly got settled again, addressing herself to the nurse who she had no idea what their name was.

“Si, grazie...you are not normally here no?”

“No Dr DeLuca, we...shuffled about a bit to look after the Captain.”

“Oh?” Maya frowned, the question from the press conference about her indirect relationship to Bailey haunting her slightly. “Am I difficult?” She realised her mistake when she heard her brother and Andy struggle to contain their laughter.

“No bella, I think it is me…” said Carina, having a hunch she knew what had happened. “Tu parli Italiano? E conosci mio fratello?”

“Si Dr DeLuca, e sì, spesso mi vengono assegnati i pazienti di tuo fratello.”

“Did her English disappear?” asked Maya quietly, knowing Andy understood what she meant.

“Yeah...I could cope when we were trying to find out when she’d last eaten, what would she eat, that sort of thing, but I barely speak Doctor in English never mind Italian.”

“Minestrone…” Carina remembered eating a small bowl of minestrone on autopilot in the room they were all waiting in, before Mason had arrived.

“That was really good soup,” agreed Mason, seeing Carina look at him in surprise. “I, umm, had also missed lunch that day....the soup in the hospital since hasn’t been that good though, is Tuesday special or something?”

“That wasn’t hospital soup Mas…” guessed Maya, having a pretty good idea what her team had done. “...that was your first experience of Carina’s cooking.”

“Eh?”

“I’m guessing from the Station freezer?”

“Yeah...B shift heated up a portion and brought it down in a thermos…” Andy looked at Carina, thinking they owed her a proper explanation. “...you’d kind of forgotten all your English so we thought your stomach might be best with what you were most used to. If there wasn’t some still left at the Station, I’d have gone to see what was in your freezer to heat up. Then Mason turned up and…” She shrugged, “...his stomach’s even louder than Maya’s.”

“You had lunch with Amelia?” asked Carina, glad to change the topic from those horrible hours when she really had no idea what had happened except that Maya had come through surgery and was here, awake and alive. And she had no idea what time it was. “Or are we a duet?” Andy’s stomach joined in, making her blush. “Scusa, trio?”

“Yes…” He paused, looking at her thoughtfully. “...but now I understand why Maya loves your cooking so much, I’m not sure I’d recommend it.”

“I have eaten in this hospital before Mason,” laughed Carina, appreciating his concern.

“Yeah, no...it’s New Year’s Day and…” He looked a little uncomfortable, like he wasn’t quite sure what to say, before deciding he probably wasn’t going to surprise them given some of the things he’d already witnessed, plus he didn’t want to not be truthful with the three of them. “...Amelia took one bite and said it was like eating peanuts and pepperoni and that it wouldn’t do for a celebration.”

“Celebration?”

“Yeah…” He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small, dark blue disk which he held up. “...I’ve been clean from the drugs since....I told you I was clean the first time we met…” He gestured in Andy’s direction, but was speaking to his sister. ”...and I was, and I have been ever since, but this seemed like a good place to start.”

“That’s six months,” said Andy, recognising it from some of the things she’d read while Robert was doing his thing for those 90 days while she stayed with Maya and Carina. “That’s…”

“...about the time I figure you got him out of my life for May…” He stepped closer to her, holding up the chip for her to see a bit better. “...and Amelia didn’t think I should start on day one today as she said that I’d spent three days in a building full of drugs and been strong in situations that had non-addicts thinking about using. And that I didn’t deserve to have all my hard work invalidated just because I did it without a programme-type support.”

“You don’t have to do a Programme if you don’t want to Mas…” said Maya carefully, knowing from Andy’s late night talks that Robert had a bit of a love-hate relationship with the 12 steps approach. 

“I…” Mason rocked back and forth on his feet, his hands shoved in his pockets as he bit his lip and tried to work out what to say, then decided he’d never had that problem with his sister when they were kids before it went weird, so he’d just try words and see what happened. “...didn’t know anything about it except I was seen by others who’d done it as weird...some were impressed and some were dismissive, like I was fake-clean?” He saw her nod, giving him confidence, not caring if Carina and Andy did or didn’t understand. “Amelia said she got that, when she first mentioned it, said she’d only mentioned it as a short-handed way of letting me know she had relevant experience and that meant she could listen if I wanted to talk but if we were sitting in silence I at least knew she wasn’t judging me about being an addict.” He chuckled when Maya, sitting in silence, nevertheless ‘spoke’ quite loudly with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, I spotted the qualification...she pointed out she’d happily sit judging me as being crappy to my post-surgery patient big sister, because that had nothing to do with anything in my past, post-surgery sucked and to not get that made me a poor human. Does she have a lot of siblings?”

“A few I think.”

“She sounded experienced...today was the first time - I thought I’d hate it, people sitting looking at you talking about yourself?” He saw her nod, smiling slightly as she recognised his discomfort hadn’t changed. “But it wasn’t crowding...a bit like how Andy described talking to the plants...I think my problems with talking about stuff was actually with the listeners.” He looked at Maya with a conspiratorial grin. “Do you remember…” He stopped nervously, remembering what Carina had told him about how things were going with their Mom.

“It’s ok, you can talk about her.” Maya let her head sink back into the pillow a bit more, guessing what Carina had told him, not surprised he’d asked why Katherine wasn’t around. “It’s why I email her.”

“She was really bad, wasn’t she?” 

Carina and Andy shared a look, confused by what Maya and Mason were talking about, guessing it was Katherine from the email reference by Maya, but sensing from how Mason was starting to look a little less worried and a little more amused that they were finding shared memories that were good for them to remember, together, as siblings.

“So, so bad…” agreed Maya. “Even when she was listening she wasn’t really hearing, or seeing…” She tilted her head back so she could see Carina, still standing at the end of the bed with Andy. “...do you remember the first time my Mom met you?”

“Siii…” Carina remembered a lot about that day, and right now wasn’t sure which part of the ‘meeting Katherine Bishop’ chain of events was supposed to be relevant. “...in your office…”

“Wait, you were at the station that day? How did we not…” Andy looked from Maya to Carina and back to Maya. “...o...h....” She stuck her hands in her jean pockets and nodded her head, a knowing grin on her face. “...sneaking into the Captain’s Office without coming and saying hi to the rest of us.”

“Si.” Carina met Andy’s knowing smirk with one of her own. “I do not want to kiss the rest of you.”

“Er, Carina?”

“Si?”

“I think you need to gomito yourself.”

“Eh?” Carina looked at Mason in confusion, then heard her girlfriend groan. “Ah, scusa bella…” She moved around so she could more easily look at her girlfriend, who was clearly trying not to laugh, though stayed at the end of the bed, hoping she could not displace Mason from being in the best place to have a serious talk with Maya.

“It’s…” Maya bit her lip and looked anywhere but Carina, though she was smiling as she tried to regain control without succumbing to the laughter she might have otherwise instinctively burst into. “...fine.” She took another shallow breath, waiting until she was feeling less like she might laugh. “Better.” She took another breath and looked back at Carina. “I’m fine. Really.”

“Sorry…” added Andy, feeling like she was in part responsible for Maya’s close call with unpleasant amounts of pain. “...that’s probably my gomito?”

“A tie and no gomitos,” said Carina pragmatically, still a little concerned by Maya’s close call with jostling her ribs, but pleased she was looking herself again. “I did not sneak into Maya’s office that day. She escorted me.” Carina nodded, smiling confidently, like she was declaring an irrefutable truth.

“It’s true…” Maya directed most of her explanation to Andy, knowing Mason didn’t know anything about their life at the Station so this would be sounding fairly random to him. “...she’d texted me to say she was going for a walk to get some air and if she walked by the Station was I around. So I decided to go and meet her on the driveway. Emmett was on the desk, just assumed she was my next meeting or something. Why did I...oh, right.” She remembered, after that detour, why she’d brought this particular visit up. “About five minutes later…”

“Less, much less…” grumbled Carina, having strong opinions about how little time had passed, even though it was now many, many, many kisses later and she should not be so irritated about the interruption anymore.

“Fine, a frustratingly short amount of time later, there’s a knock on the door and it’s Emmett, uh Probie?”

“The one with Dixon on his shirt?” Mason saw Andy nod. “That’s just a coincidence right?” Andy shook her head. “No? He’s…”

“...the other Dixon’s son, but they don’t speak since Emmett dumped his fiancee, announced he was gay and might have started his on again off again hookups with Travis,” summarised Andy, realising she might have just overshared slightly given how little Mason knew about the rest of them. Then decided it was going to be obvious the next time Mason saw the two of them together now they didn’t think Maya was going to die. “Who are on again by the way.”

“Since when? I thought Christmas had seen Montgomery and Hughes have a pact?”

“Err…”

“Wednesday…” said Carina knowingly, pausing and double checking she’d got the right day of the week. “...si, Wednesday afternoon. I do not think Emmett minded the cartoon fire engines.”

“How do you know this?” asked Andy, looking at Carina in a remarkably good Montgomery impression.

“So you did not have ‘Captain is alive sex’ with Robert after you went home?” She shrugged, then looked at said Captain, who was seemingly undecided as to whether to be amused or horrified, only to settle on ‘proud’ when she saw Andy blushing, cluing in Carina. “Il sistema endocrino, è prevedibile.” And lets face it, she’d certainly be having ‘Captain is alive’ sex as soon as sex was back on the medically responsible activity list for said Captain. However, before she could go further down that distracting line of thought, she felt her stomach start to make its noise again, so decided to accelerate this part of the conversation, wanting to get Mason and Maya back on topic. “Mason, your Mom thought I was one of Maya’s firefighters.”

“Were you dressed like one?”

“I was…” Carina was about to say ‘no’, then realised she could be a bit more specific. “...wearing what you saw me first in, before I changed into scrubs, with a jacket.”

“A very, very nice brown leather jacket that I so want to borrow,” added Andy, clamping her mouth shut when she realised she’d said that aloud.

“So not looking like a firefighter, assuming you were in your blue stuff?”

“I was in my blue stuff,” agreed Maya, giving up not trying to look amused by the whole way this conversation was turning out, which was also completely different to how she’d thought when she’d brought it up in the first place. “And Carina introduces herself…”

“As Carina or Dr DeLuca?”

“Dr Carina DeLuca.”

“No….” Mason put his hand over his mouth and looked from Carina to his sister, able, despite not seeing or speaking to Katherine Bishop for years, to be able to picture what had happened given what they’d been talking about and Maya then immediately deciding to think of this particular moment. “...she didn’t.”

“She did.”

“But you’d been…”

“Making out? Si.” Carina looked at Maya, a thought occurring to her she’d not had before. “How did she not know? I mean, you were literally doing up your shirt and belt as you said hello.”

“That wouldn’t matter,” said Mason, presuming his sister had been wearing the t-shirt Carina was wearing under her shirt, same as Travis had been on Tuesday, which had enabled Mason to wear his button-shirt to get into the hospital. “She’d heard the word Doctor and whum.” He passed his hand down over his face and closed his eyes, then put his hands over his ears. After a moment he opened his eyes and took his hands away from his ears. “She thought you were May’s doctor?”

“Si…” Carina now understood why Maya had brought up that meeting. “...your Mom is not very good at listening or seeing still, not when people are talking to her.” She was a very astute observer the rest of the time though, that much Carina had picked up on in the bits of time she’d spent with her since, including that day, though she tried not to think about that. “You found the meeting felt like it had good listeners at it?”

“Yeah...they were actually. I, umm… Amelia had said I didn’t need to do anything except turn up and see what I thought about it, had already told me it would be mostly staff, that if I recognised anyone who I thought wasn’t staff it was ok as they would have a staff member as their sponsor.”

“She was warning him he might see Robert, he goes sometimes, went today actually.”

“Yeah….anyway, I heard these voices say ‘Hello Mason’ and I’d started talking…” He looked at his sister. “...it felt ok...I...get why people say talking helps I think…” He chewed his lip nervously, not sure what she’d think of that admission, given how they’d been brought up.

“I do too. Dr Lewis has been really great at helping me with stuff...she’s someone the department has to help all of us when we have really difficult calls, but also sees some of us individually, firefighters I mean. She used to be a smokejumper.”

“What’s that?”

“They’re specialist firefighters employed by the Forest Service Mason,” explained Andy, having worked out now that it helped Maya’s energy if the bits of his ‘filling in the gaps’ catching up could be done by someone else, mostly Carina, but this was one Andy could do. “They fight wildfires when they’re still in the really remote areas by parachuting into the areas where the fires are starting and trying to control and direct the way the fire goes, help rescue people who are cut off by the fire, that sort of thing. It’s...pretty hardcore.”

“It also means she knows all the tricks we could use to hide,” said Maya quietly, drawing Mason’s attention back to her. “...or at least all of mine.”

“Cool. Not that, I mean…”

“I know what you mean Mas.” Maya let her head relax back into the pillows, looking at him, looking at the chip he’d put on the bed. “So, do you want to go again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe some Italian translations...will come back and do those when I'm a little more awake [Italian translations vs next chapter, I'm assuming the next chapter would win right this second?]


	21. Chapter 21

“I don’t know. I…” He chewed his lip, looking at the chip and picking it up. “...have done a lot of talking in this building.” He looked up at Maya. “...with you, all of you,” he turned and included Carina and Andy in the ‘you’, not just his sister. “...with Amelia, Dr Bailey and a little bit at the meeting. And I think I get talking now...how it helps. But I think I might have only talked at the meeting because I’d already talked to you.”

“Isn’t talking the important part?” asked Maya, not sure about the specifics of addiction, but having learned that general principle herself in the last year or so.

“Yeah, that’s what Amelia said. And that I didn’t have to decide anything right now.”

“That sounds smart…” agreed Maya, appreciating once again Amelia’s willingness to, just by her presence and general openness about her own addictions, make it possible for Mason to feel like he wasn’t less of a person for having that history himself. That she was making time to spend with Mason, to talk to him about whatever they were talking about, to help him work it all out, Maya would never be able to adequately thank the neurosurgeon, no matter how this all ended up playing out. “...can I ask a question because I don’t know anything about this sort of stuff, not because I have an opinion?”

“Sure…” He grinned at her, appreciating her attempt to make him super clear how she was approaching her question. “...I might not know the answer, don’t know much about this sort of stuff either.”

“If you hadn’t explained how you feel about the talking, I would see the chip and think that meant you were a part of it now...but that makes it sound like a cult. And I know it isn’t that, but..” She resisted the urge to look at Andy or Carina for help trying to explain what she meant, wondering if she’d said enough for him to get what she wasn’t understanding, like he’d used to when they were teenagers.

“Yeah, I know what you mean...so…” He turned the coin over and read out what it had written on it. “... God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” He gave it to Maya to look at. 

“Before, it took the drugs to get him out of my head. Then I managed to keep him out of my head by hiding from him and you...and then managed to do it without the drugs. But I never gave you a chance because I was scared of letting him back in...of going back to the drugs to keep him out. And it was…” He shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling his pens while he thought about how to explain it. “...it was easier to be clean and angry and blaming you for why I was hiding. But then I found there was something scarier than him getting back in my head, scarier than falling off the wagon...and…” He shrugged, grinning despite his watering eyes, looking at the chip his sister was holding. “...I can’t change the past, I have to accept I did what I did, with the drugs and to you...but I want to stop hiding from you and sending all my anger at you because I see you and think about him.” He frowned, that not sounding right. “I don’t, I mean, not now I can see you see you...damn, I should have written it down when I practiced…”

“I know what you mean Mas…”

“You do?”

“It’s easy to take one memory and turn and twist into what you tell yourself is the whole person, good or bad...and it takes a shock to break that memory and look again with fresh eyes.” She almost laughed when she saw his expression, just catching herself in time, but it took a few deliberately careful breaths before she could explain. “I’m not that wise, Dr Lewis she’s a specialist trauma psychologist, quite a useful guide to understanding life with him as it happens...turns out I took him being at the track all the time and turned it into a memory of a supportive father, tough but fair...and then he turned up that day and…” She flicked the chip and watched as it spun in the air, letting it land on the bed rather than trying to catch it, covering it with her hand once she’d felt it on the bed beside her hip. “...that was my shock.”

“Yeah, which is why I picked it as my starting point...I can see that and know that I need to keep the past in the past and see you properly, that he’s the one that’s got to hide from us now, because of what you did.” He looked at her, chewing his top and bottom lips together, making Maya suddenly remember him as a little kid, sitting on his bike ready to set off for the first time, excited but nervous. “Is that ok?”

“I…” Maya felt for the chip and picked it up, looking at it thoughtfully, missing the exchange of looks between Andy and Carina as both picked up on how Mason wasn’t doing so well with his sister’s quietness....how his sister wasn’t doing so well with her quietness. She was stuck, in a cycle of thoughts that were taking her in the wrong direction.

Carina frowned, gestured to Andy and looked at Mason, only for Andy to shake and nod her head towards Mason while looking at Carina. Then she jerked her head towards Maya and mimicked holding a hose for a second...which made Carina understand: what had Andy said? When people get stuck they call the fire department. 

“Alright…” A hand wrapped over Maya’s, obscuring her view of the chip, but to her surprise it was Andy not Carina, who she started to turn to look for. “...nope, you don’t get her, because she’s sweet and light and you’re scaring the shit out of your little brother while you’ve gone somewhere dark and twisty, so you get me.”

Maya opened her mouth, frowned, then closed it again, looking at Andy with the beginnings of a pissed off look forming.

“Right, there you are...you can get as pissed at me as you like Maya Bishop, you’re not my Captain when you’re butt naked and this isn’t shower time though you could do with some conditioner…” said Andy critically, eying her best friend’s hair which was, well, if Carina was touching it, that was proof of love right there. “...after a double shampoo.”

“Do eight bullet holes and three broken bones not count for anything with you?”

“Do you want pity? Because if so I think for you it’s twenty bucks in the puppy fund, floors  _ and  _ bathrooms though we’ll save those ‘til you can wear pants and Carina sticks you on the couch for a night, which reminds me, when did you get rid of the no pants no seat rule?”

“I didn’t.”

“Want pity?”

“That too, but the no pants no seat rule? Still in play.” Andy’s look was a knowing one, and Maya was well, lying in a hospital bed butt naked with eight bullet holes and three broken bones. “You do remember that rule was for Ryan...god I am weak…” groaned Maya, closing her eyes and admitting defeat, while also hoping they’d left the apartment sufficiently tidy when they both went to their shifts on Tuesday that Andy hadn’t walked in and found their underwear on the couch or something just as...obvious about the no pants rule changing.

“No, you’ve got eight bullet holes and three broken bones and are butt naked in the biggest hospital bed I’ve ever seen...so…” Andy took her hand away from the chip, her tone and whole demeanour immediately softening - she’d torn the strip and all the heat had gone from Maya’s fire, just like a good roof vent should. “...why can’t you nod and say ok?”

“Because I’m a horrible person....because Mas has done all this by himself and is so strong and I’m here wishing he wouldn’t see me like I’m some sort of hero because I feel weak and scared and broken.”

“So?” Andy covered the chip with her hand, pulling it from Maya’s grasp. “He can think what he likes about you. Like I do. Like Carina does. And yeah, you’re truly epicly horrible when you crash around the apartment at 5am to go running and I hate you for being bright and perky three hours later at line up sounding excited about workout time. And you really would be Russian-lab-grown-Maya with a battery pack for a heart if you didn’t feel weak and scared and broken right now.” Andy paused, realising how that must sound to Carina and Mason, but glad that Carina was trusting her right now, making a mental note to explain as soon as Maya was put back together. 

“But you are some sort of hero...you…” Carina was going to kill her, but this was needed, Maya needed to hear this...Andy needed to say this. “...jump out of fifth floor windows and make sure I do too...run... up a burning skyscraper when we’d been ordered down it at least twice to help me save Jack... and run at boilers we turn into bombs to… actually, yeah, that was just you suffering from hypoxia…” 

She saw Maya’s frown start to lessen in intensity, her tactic working but not yet enough, so she took a steadying breath and carried on, tapping a different bit of her memories. 

“...taught me how to do a bloody hose drag so I didn’t flunk before we’d even started...sledgehammering our way to that kid in the warehouse? Man I wanted your hips and they can’t salsa, not to mention how the hell you could move the next day...and I’m still waiting for you to tell me about saving the city by sealing yourself in a metro car to contain a viral outbreak without freaking, and they’re just the slightly weird ones…” Cracks, decided Andy, had begun to appear in Maya’s temper and anger that told Andy she was past the reflex defense mechanisms, finally in sight of the ‘real’ bit of her best friend, right where her bravery and heart and kindness wrestled with her own demons, right where her doubts managed to take over if left unchecked. 

“What would Piper call you? What you did for Robert? What you’ve done for the City…just…” Andy took a steadying breath of her own. “...accept that to your kid brother, to me, to Robert, Emmett, Hughes, Chief Sato, the Station and a load more across the Department and City you are our damn hero….even if you’re not wearing any pants. Accept it with serenity,” she said, referencing the line on the chip, smiling at Maya, seeing the lightness returning to her eyes, “because you can’t change all of us, and we won’t let you try to change him.” She opened her hand and held the chip out for Maya to take again, when she was ready. “The no pants thing though? You can definitely change that.”

“The no naked people sitting on the couch rule?”

“No, the you going on TV not wearing any....” Andy watched as Maya picked up the chip, holding it like she had been before, but this time there was a different sort of thoughtfulness in her expression. “...though the fact you even had to ask suggests you’ve got a way to go on the wisdom thing.”

Maya opened her mouth like she was going to argue, then shook her head and closed her mouth. She wasn’t yet through all the doubts, there was still something in her thoughts, eating away at her confidence from within that Andy hadn’t yet managed to beat down...one last hot spot that needed making safe...and that meant helping Maya see the connection Mason had made for himself, was wanting to capture with the chip as its token.

“You kicking that bastard out of both of your lives with the determination and drive that bastard harnessed for his own arrogant pride to feed on was you being awesome and fearless and venting your life so the heat and the smoke cleared and the survivors survive. You were a survivor, you and Carina, you and me, you and the Station...all those relationships are part of your life that you have now, those were the survivors the day you drove that bastard away. Fire to others means passion, but to us means something to defeat. He thought he was the only one with fire in your family, fire he put into your life, that made your life his somehow. But you’re a firefighter, and we see fire differently….you saw him differently that day and put him out.” Andy straightened up a little, getting a little less in Maya’s face. “What do people do when they’re stuck?”

“Call the fire department...” Maya looked from the chip to Mason, who was stood listening to her and Andy with less of the confusion and worry she might have expected to see, though probably having Carina’s arm around his shoulders as he clung onto her waist helped. “...it’s...you want to look at this and know this means you never have to see him…”

He nodded, only recognising that was what he’d been thinking when she’d said it.

“We good?” asked Andy quietly, pleased to see her best friend pulling herself back together.

“Yes…thank you.” Maya opened her hand, waiting for Andy to take hold of it, having to be content with expressing her gratitude for the dose of ‘tough love’ with a squeeze of Andy’s hand rather than a hug. “...though I might change my mind when Carina realises some of the stuff we’ve done together.”

“Nah, she loves you too much…” said Andy, returning the squeeze and letting go of Maya’s hand. “...so does Mason, but you need to use more of your words with him, for a while at least.”

“That I’m not so heroic at…”

“I know...but if I can decide Probie’s got carry drills next shift with me and I’ll be using my right shoulder, you can have another go now with Mason.”

“Add a hose, you’ll cheat it otherwise.” Maya raised her eyebrow when Andy pulled a face at her. “I  _ know _ you.”

“Yeah, you do, and I know you, which is why...Mason?” Andy turned and looked at him, smiling what she hoped looked to him like a reassuring smile, because she genuinely meant it to be, but imagined being an eavesdropper to what she’d just done to Maya probably looked rather brutal. “Your sister’s going to have another go at answering your question if you could manage to ask her it again?”

“Umm…” He felt Carina’s arm around his shoulders tighten a fraction, understanding that a squeeze from her was like a squeeze from Maya when they’d been kids. “May?”

“Yes?” Maya turned her head so she could see him, feeling a lump catch in her throat when she didn’t just see Carina’s arm around his shoulders, see how he was holding onto her as well, but connected their body positions with the emotions in Mason’s face and the calm supportiveness in Carina’s: her two absolute most important people, together.

“Is it ok? To use that as my new beginning?”

“You don’t have to ask my permission Mas…” She looked from him to the chip and back to him, smiling genuinely as she saw him for what he was now, not what she’d seen in the holding cell or under the freeway, but here, now, standing tall. “...it’s your new beginning, not mine...but I’m honoured that it’s what you’ve picked for you. Just do me one thing please?”

“What?”

“Don’t believe everything you’re told about me? I don’t just mean about the rescues and the crazy-sounding stuff we all do, we’re…”

“...ordinary people trained to do things that look extraordinary to those of us who don’t have the training? Yeah, I was there,  _ and  _ listening.”

“I was going to say we’re messed up siblings and partners and don’t know how to do simple stuff like tell the people that matter the most to us they’re our people, the ones we say I love you to and actually mean it. And we have our unhealthy coping mechanisms and dark days just as often as everyone else. But we try, just like everyone else...and the truth is that we’re generally somewhere in between the two...we’re not the heroes that others think we are, and we’re not the monsters we think we are....we’re...I’m...just your sister Mason. It’s all I ever wanted to be. Not you, or him...just your sister.” She held the chip out for him to come and get from her. "Hang on, Amelia hates peanuts and pepperoni… She's not pregnant is she?" 

"How did you get to that from this?" asked Mason, picking up the chip and holding her hand, not wanting to try and hug her again. 

"Scout made her eat pepperoni. And no…" Carina tried to picture Amelia back when they were all in the lobby earlier. "... I do not think her demands were pregnancy hormones this time. I think she took Mason to Joe's because the hospital food was extra bad because it is New Year’s Day."

"But…" Andy was unable to wrap her head around that.

"That's a bar and Amelia is an alcoholic? Si, but they know that there and also know when we say we are going back to the hospital and are ordering food that we do not go to drink. She likes the burgers and the malt milkshake." Carina looked at Mason with a careful gaze. "I think you do too now si? But not a milkshake yet." 

"How.." 

"... do I know? Because Amelia does not let anyone else make her order and she watches her drink the whole time so it cannot be a surprise. And I think she ordered you her favourite burger with the pineapple and cheese and a milkshake because she forgets to ask what others want when she is hungry. But I think you want to try the milkshake with your sister so she drank two. "

"Yes, but… "

"Amelia is my best friend, and I am a big sister with a little brother who is not so different from you in the important ways. And Andrea as a little boy would stuff a whole cannoli in his mouth and…" Carina mimed trying to chew through a mouthful so big your cheeks were puffed out and you ended up with your face covered in food. "...and when I moved here I asked him where to buy the best cannoli in Seattle and he did not know."

"You took him?" 

She nodded. 

"And did he…" Mason mimed the way he'd eaten them as a little boy like she'd done. 

"Yes and no. He put the whole one in, but he is not seven anymore and his mouth has grown and cannoli seem to have got a little smaller." 

Mason laughed, then asked a new question, “...what’s cannoli?”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos (as always)...and for going with me on that rollercoaster. Time for some light relief...and the odd gomito *g*
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy.....

“Hallomi bites…” muttered Maya, seeing Andy had got her phone out when Carina’s stomach had made another noise, reminding them both about her lack of food, watching as her girlfriend began an animated conversation with Mason about what a cannoli was and wasn’t, and why they were one of the finest comfort foods known in her view. “...and fries, and do you know those sweetcorn fritter things they do?”

“With the avocado? Yeah…” Andy carried on building her take out order from Joe’s, grateful for how everyone seemed to have accelerated embracing the online ordering app in this, no, last year. “Oh, Happy New Year.”

“And you, busy shift?”

“Not too bad - we were stood down so we could watch your thing, then we had a couple of stray firework calls...did the Chief tell you we’re getting an engine from headquarters for a bit so we go back to a full barn? Umm, does she like those egg roll things they do?” Andy knew better than to suggest ordering Carina the pizza bites Joe’s did, though if you timed it right when she’d had some drinks, ordering a portion for the table got you some very funny dinner theatre with Carina’s monologue on the horrors of ‘American-Italian’ food.

“If she’s hungry enough, so can you get some? And are they still doing those risotto ball things?”

“Arancini?”

“Yeah, but call them rice bombs with her...she likes them but refuses to accept they resemble anything ever cooked by an Italian. And no, we didn’t talk about that, a bit of Battalion gossip and the scene mostly...”

“One of those for me…” mumbled Andy, listening to Maya but ordering her own late lunch as well as a burger and fries for Robert. “...you want..” She slammed her mouth shut and looked in horror at Maya, realising what she’d done.

“It’s fine.” Maya smiled, genuinely not phased. “Seriously. I’m getting some sort of liquid thing later, and right now I’m just glad I don’t have to try and think about moving too much. “Use my card please? It’s…” Maya couldn’t see her backpack, but hoped Andy could find it. “...wherever my backpack ended up. Are they delivering still?”

“Kinda, I’ve sent Robert.” She put her phone away. “And you can get the next one.”

“Thank you.” She had half an ear on how the cannoli explanation was going, and guessed there was another minute or so before that stopped distracting Carina. “How’s the team? Is Jack...” Maya had picked up on his distance in the visit from the team yesterday, but not remembering enough about the scene and her departure from it, she couldn’t be more specific.

“...he’s a bit in his head. We all had a talk, after we got back from our first call after your thing.” She paused, wanting to ask her Captain a question but feeling mean expecting her best friend to even try and think about work stuff.

“Ask me Andy.” Maya knew her too well.

“Is Dr Lewis coming by the station soon? Only both Jack and the Chief seem like they might be counting the minutes…”

“Check my phone...think there was a message from her.” 

Andy looked around for the phone, seeing it on the bedside table, knowing the unlock code and quickly finding the message. “Oh, she’s coming in Monday. I’ll let everyone know.”

“Tell her to use my office if she likes.” Maya relaxed back into the pillow, watching Carina listen to Mason try and explain something, though her charades skill wasn’t good enough to work out what it was. 

Maya wasn’t really sure when Monday was, but that didn’t matter - it made sense to Andy. And Maya had a hunch that Diane Lewis might be a visitor to Grey Sloan at some point, just as hopefully Carina would be able to find a way to go see her therapist too, but Maya knew better than to try and push her. She was pleased the team had talked, pleased Diane was going into the station Monday - it had been an idea she’d got from Carina when she’d been talking about something she’d had in a previous hospital, what Maya couldn’t remember...but it had given her the idea to ask Dr Lewis if she’d be able to maybe try doing a sort of drop in session type thing at a station rather than headquarters, so firefighters could go and see her ‘just because’ rather than wait for headquarters to send her to talk to a whole team after a big incident. 

It had taken a bit of thinking by them both to work out how to make it work, but a little while back she’d started doing one afternoon a week, rotating each week to a different station in their Battalion. The deal was any firefighter from the Battalion could make an appointment to see her at any station, they had a little app thing on their phones that let them know 24 hours before your off-shift pattern and the drop-in session first aligned, and you could go and get half an hour’s talking time with no agenda, no need to tell anyone you were going (she rotated through different days so no single shift was always on duty) and you could pass on a session match if you didn’t feel comfortable with the Station it was at - not everyone wanted to see her in their own station, not everyone wanted to see her at another station. At the end of the half hour’s talk, she’d then suggest follow-up options, which at that point, and only at that point, might trigger the official processes of notifying Captains and Chiefs, depending what came up. It was, in effect they’d decided after they’d had it going for a few weeks, sort of like a walk-in triage service, where you could go and find out if your headache was a hangover or flu, only for thoughts.

“Will do.” Andy held onto Maya’s phone, thinking she might like to see it but not sure if that was going to make her move too much. “How you doing, really?”

“If I was a cat I think you’d say I was on life number 9 now.”

“9? Thought it was 8…” Eight bullets had lent itself to the idea that Maya must be a cat somewhere around hour four of her surgery Andy thought, with the suggestion proving to be inexplicably hysterical to those of them that had been on the ladder years ago when, while Vic was a Probie, Maya had had to lose her ‘cat rescue virginity’ having tried so hard to avoid the felines until then.

“Teddy and Bailey took me into the OR for a bit this morning.”

“Oh?” Andy felt her phone vibrate and glanced at it super quickly. “Food’s here in thirty…” Then winced. “...oh god, I’ve done it again.”

“It’s fine, promise.” Maya smiled at Andy, then let her eyes drift back to watching Carina and Mason talking, marvelling at how easily her girlfriend ‘got’ people, and how amazing Mas was. “Mas and I, we...earlier, we had a big talk.”

“About the drugs?”

“Yeah, our father, the running...he likes you…” Maya looked at Andy, recalling the references he made to ‘questions’ she asked him. “You’re talking, I mean he’s talking with you?”

“Not deliberately, we just...talk. A bit when he first arrived, but mostly yesterday...when we went to look at the wall and the team showed up, he…” Andy paused, something occurring to her she thought she should have noticed sooner. “...doesn’t really do crowds, does he?”

“No, never did. He...he sees things in so much detail, he draws them to understand them. People he found always moved too much to draw them well enough. How did you know?”

“Looking at the wall, the team came round and he...found a spot and did this amazing drawing…” Andy patted her jean pockets, finding it, glad she’d remembered to rescue it from her uniform and put in her locker the moment she’d returned to the Station. “So I took him to the plant room...it…” She saw from Maya’s quizzical look that she knew about the plant room, but didn’t know how Andy knew about it. “That day, Robert’s surgery, you and Carina...I was in a mess with my Mom and literally…” She brought her hands together, like she was demonstrating punching a wall, “...with Meredith Grey. Amelia had already kicked me out of Robert’s room, telling me to go there...that’s when Dr Grey and I had our talk.”

“Ah.” Maya knew Andy had found Meredith’s perspective and advice invaluable then, having heard about it weeks later, when Andy was staying with them, after Carina had moved in. “They listen. And don’t judge.”

“Yeah...I said some things, he was drawing and I kinda forgot he was there...then he was asking questions which helped, and the stuff I said…” Andy shrugged, not really remembering the conversation now, but remembering the feeling of it helping, which was what mattered. “Amelia found us and told him he needed to tell you stuff.” She looked at Maya, trying to read underneath her friend’s ‘mask’ - what was it she’d said to Teddy? That Maya was in two parts, the part you saw and the hidden part...and that knowing the hidden part existed and understanding what was going on with Maya there it were two different things. “Guessing he followed up on that.”

“Yeah...it was good…” Maya’s eyes drifted back to Mason and Carina, her face softening when she caught Carina’s eye as she stood at the end of the bed, still mostly absorbed in her conversation. “...really good...we hugged.”

“Hugged as in…” Andy mimed a light touch on the shoulder and gentle nudging of bodies together.

“As in I was sitting up and leaned forwards.”

“Oh.” Andy’s wince summed it up perfectly.

“Yeah, he hugged me back…” Maya looked so happy when she said that Andy couldn’t help but smile, knowing how difficult it had been for her to adjust to affection that came with warmth. “...but it was bad.”

“How bad?” asked Andy quietly, glancing at Mason laughing at something Carina had just said as she looked at his drawing. “I’m guessing he doesn’t know?”

“He knows it was easier to fix my stitches in an OR because of my shoulder. And that everything else is good, including my ribs.”

“But?”

“But next time I’m probably out of active duty.” Maya watched Mason again for a moment, still adamant it was worth it, even if she only had today with him, it was worth it. “Teddy didn’t say, but Carina knows she had to move my rib back...but it won’t do that again.”

“Then we’ll make sure you don’t,” said Andy firmly, smiling at Maya, now understanding why Ben had pulled the ‘Doctor Dad’ card, while Andy had been having a few of hours sleep at Maya and Carina’s after talking to Teddy, and told everyone to stay away from in person visits so Maya and Carina had some space. “Oh, Carina?” Andy decided it was time to change the mood, sensing Maya was fading a bit on her again, but also knowing she needed to tell Carina about her lunch plan.

“Mmm?” Carina realised she’d not actually said hello yet to Andy, despite having now been visiting for a while. “Buon anno Andy, scusa, before I was…” She gestured to the bed and the bathroom.

“Happy New Year to you as well, and no problem. We’ve ordered you some snacks from Joe’s, Robert’s bringing them in…” She looked at her watch. “About twenty minutes.”

“We?” She looked from Andy to Maya, her face brightening and radiating joy and love at her girlfriend’s thoughtfulness, especially given her own relationship with food at the moment. “Bellissima…” Carina drifted over to the bed, the rail lowered now making it possible for her to sit on the side and lean in so she was, despite the size of this larger bed, still able to reach her girlfriend’s face safely, the slight incline also helping.

“...mmm…” The kiss was nice, she liked those sorts of kisses where nothing happened except just feeling Carina’s lips on hers for a moment. Maya blinked, smiling despite no longer having Carina’s lips on hers, though it did mean she could say what she had meant to say...once she remembered it….oh! “...the fritters and fried cheese things you like, and they still had the cheesy rice bombs they were doing when we went there before Christmas…” That felt a lifetime ago, but was only three weeks - Maya had a day off while Carina was trying to catch up after a series of chaotic shifts, so Maya had gone to Joe’s and ordered lunch, then texted Carina to come join her so she got to see something that wasn’t a patient or paperwork for a few minutes.

“Si?” ‘Cheesy Rice Bombs’ were Carina’s new favourites, as long as no one tried to make her believe they had anything to do with risotto or arancini. “Grazie bella…” Carina leaned in, then stopped, standing up and turning, realising that while it was Maya’s knowledge of her favourites from Joe’s, which was about the only way she’d have been persuaded to eat anything despite her stomach’s voice on the matter, it was to Andy and Robert she owed the rest of her thanks. “Grazie Andy...for…”

“No problem.” Andy patted Carina on the back, not sure she was yet in a place where she could cope with Carina’s appreciation on a broader scale than individual moments of practical support. “And not selfless, I’m also a bit behind on meals.” Then, to lighten the mood, she glanced at Mason, who was stood at the end of the bed, drawing something, though Andy now had a better read on him and suspected he probably wasn’t drawing what he could see right this second. “...but we can’t have Amelia showing us up with our hospitality...do I know where those cannoli you love so much come from?”

“Cannoli? Si, umm…” Carina’s frown confused Andy.

“There are two places, depends what else she’s promised Mas he has to try first.”

“Si, the cafe by your headquarters? They will fill the cannolo when you have ordered, which is the only way...they will make a big box on request.”

“Oh, those are the ones you brought for Robert’s birthday?” Carina had promised to come when her shift finished for coffee and chocolates, but had sent a box of cannoli to be eaten for dessert - they came with strict ‘eat me now’ instructions on the box lid, and she’d even managed to call them from the OR to check they did not do anything stupid and wait for her to arrive, as that was to miss the point of her gift.

“Si, but that is a special occasion and takes many visits to organise. But it is the best cannolo in Seattle. Otherwise, the cannolicchio shells from the store next to the bookstore…” Andy frowned, not able to picture where on earth (or Seattle) Carina meant when she said ‘the bookstore’.

“She means the one by the museum, I sent Robert to do the inspection with Hughes a few months back - they stock enough Italian books she doesn’t have to special order when she wants a new one,” provided Maya, awake enough to provide a translation of ‘Carina-speak’ into ‘Andy-speak’ but starting to noticeably fade a little. They also were rather fond of the Doctor, which had helped Maya when she’d gone there looking to get something for Carina’s birthday, as they not only could remember what Carina had already read, but managed to make some suggestions of things they thought she might like. She’d also then discovered, much to her surprise given how long she’d lived in the area, that the shop itself was surrounded by three or four other businesses that were very Italian in their products and staff, and she now thought of it as a little mini ‘Italian quarter’. 

“Si, they sell the cannolicchio shells in boxes on the shelves which have the right taste, and will sell you the ricotta and pistachios from the cold counter. It is not as good as having the proper shell cooked fresh, but at least they are not filled with old custard.” 

Carina thought for a moment, missing Andy mouthing ‘wow’ to Maya, but then Andy wasn’t entirely sure why she was surprised considering Carina’s stress response at the peak of the quarantine anxiety was to make different types of pasta including flat noodles in different colours. Different shapes for different sauces she had finally understood, and she’d also come to appreciate the difference between ‘plain’ pasta and ones that had a subtle flavouring as part of the colour change, but different width flat noodles? That was still beyond her. 

“Panettone...” added Maya, smiling at the memory of that Italian Christmas bread-cake-thing Carina had introduced her to. “...is from there too right?”

“Si, that is where the panettone you became addicted to came from...” Carina looked properly at Maya, all talk of Italian bakery products forgotten when she saw the hints her girlfriend was trying really hard to not look sleepy. “You are sleepy again?” she asked quietly, sitting on the bed in the space she’d been sleeping herself in not that long ago, leaning forwards so she could brush Maya’s hair out of her face again, knowing she was finding lifting her left hand up to her face a struggle, though she suspected it was more to do with the lingering stiffness from when she’d ‘caught’ Carina in her deadfaint. “And we are too interesting…” she guessed, seeing the truth in Maya’s eyes, delighted that she was healing enough from the initial trauma of the wounds to start to be engaging with her surroundings even when not directly a focus of them, like when she’d been adding commentary to Carina’s conversation with Andy. “How about…” Carina thought for a moment, knowing sleep would more likely achieved if she negotiated it with her girlfriend rather than insisted. “...I will shower now while we wait for Robert to bring the food, and after we have eaten we see what Andy has brought for us and Mason?”

“Mas?”

“Si, the bag under our bed…” Carina leaned in and kissed Maya, discovering that she now had the confidence to put a hand down on the bed without worrying about accidentally hurting Maya, helping her to not worry about squashing her either. Sensing that her girlfriend wanted to say something, Carina decided to experiment a bit more with the new bed’s potential, and rather than straightening back up, just moved her kisses from her girlfriend’s lips to her jaw.

“Think it’s ok?” Maya’s head nearly exploded when she felt Carina’s lips on her jaw and very top of her neck, not expecting it, her body unused to feeling Carina’s lips anywhere other than her lips and less...exciting parts of her face like her forehead after four days of hospitalisation.

“Si.” Of course, the moment Carina spoke, her lips went away, causing Maya to start to pout, and sleepily pout at that. “Bella?” Carina was concerned she’d pushed a little too far, knowing how sensitive her girlfriend’s neck was, knowing too how easily she could forget herself when able to lavish affection there. “Bene?”

“Very…” agreed Maya, reaching up with her left hand as far as she was comfortable doing, delighted to discover that she met the untucked front of the t-shirt Carina was wearing, feeling warm, soft, wonderfulness.... “Bailey needs something nice.”

“She has Ben. He was waiting to…” Carina’s attention wandered when Maya started to work out how high she could lift her hand, using her girlfriend’s torso as a measuring guide...reminding Carina that she’d put this t-shirt on having first taken off her bra. “... take her home...oh...si...” she muttered, understanding her girlfriend’s point not brave enough to tell Maya to stop, telling herself she didn’t want to dent her girlfriend’s fragile confidence in her current mobility as the delicate trail of Maya’s fingers worked up her ribs. “...Bailey needs something nice…” Maya’s fingers continued exploring, teasing lightly up Carina’s ribs as she was speaking, then were more and more in Maya’s range when Carina resumed her kissing experiment along the underside of Maya’s jaw and then down the side of her neck.

* * *

“I think…” said Andy quietly, having first joined Mason at the end of the bed when she’d moved to give Carina a bit more room once it was clear they’d finished their food related conversation. “...that this is the moment we both look out the window.”

“Mmm?” Mason, focused on his drawing, looked up, just in time to see the back of Carina’s t-shirt lift a little, his brain quickly filling in the blanks about how the t-shirt was moving and where his sister’s hand had probably got to in order to achieve the movement. “Yup!” He shot over to the window and closed his eyes tightly, trying to unsee what he wasn’t even sure if he’d seen or just worked out. “Wait, should we leave or something? I mean…”

“No,” said Andy quietly, moving a little more slowly than he had, but catching him up. “I think Carina’s fighting dirty.”

“Excuse me?” He started to turn around again, his brain processing what ‘fighting dirty’ might mean before he also connected it to something involving his sister.

Andy shoved him in the shoulder at his cheeky teenage boy type reaction.

“I thought it was elbows only round here?”

“Only if you’re a world class surgeon...these hands?” Andy held them up then lightly shoved him in the shoulder again. “Not insured.” Andy looked down at his notebook, seeing his latest drawing, realising it was capturing a moment she’d not been a specific witness to, of Carina and her doctor friends reacting to a drawing, their delight and happiness evident despite it being only a sketch, but one she had seen variations of a fair few times, helping her appreciate how talented he was. “But yours will be.”

“I’m not a surgeon.”

“Si…” agreed Carina, coming to join them quietly, her t-shirt back around her hips, Maya fast asleep with a happy smile on her face, relaxed without the need of extra medications. “...but your talent is in your hands, just with a pen not a knife.” She stretched. “Scusa for the moment, she was refusing to sleep…”

“Think she will sleep through us eating?”

“That is my hope. Have I time for a shower before Robert arrives? I will be quick.”

Andy checked her phone, seeing the latest update from him was that he was waiting for the food.

“Yeah, he’s there but not got the food yet.” It would be a good few minutes, even with Joe’s being only across the street, before he arrived at Maya’s room. “You want your own wash stuff? I…” Andy turned round, seeing the bags she’d dropped on the floor just inside the door earlier. “...thought you might want to do that immediately, so just grab the farmer’s market bag. Some clothes and your hairbrush too.”

“Grazie Andy.” She kissed Andy’s cheek then, without giving it any thought, kissed Mason’s too, glancing at his drawing. “...si, le tue mani sono di classe mondiale. Inizia a usare il gomito per favore.”

Seconds later, the bathroom door closed softly behind her, Mason looked at Andy in bemusement, head spinning with everything that had just happened.

“She said your hands are world class and to use your...gomito....ah, and to use your elbow please.” Andy’s Spanish-assisted Italian managed to untangle most of Carina’s pronouncement.

It was an unusual way to say ‘welcome to the family’, but looking down at his drawing, which showed Carina, Teddy and Amelia all mid elbowing as they debated whether terrorising interns or lunchtime sex (with or without his sister, but he suspected both Amelia and Teddy had varying degrees of crushes on her there should be better odds on with) was a guilty pleasure, he realised, that was exactly what had just happened.

“This is yours…” said Andy, holding out the chip which had not yet got back to Mason. “...oh, and Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year.” He paused, looking at her in surprise. “I don’t know when I last said that.”

“Oh…” Andy shoved her hands in her jean pockets, worried she’d said the wrong thing, and suddenly very aware that Maya was asleep, Carina was in the shower, Amelia was probably home and this would be a really bad moment for her to have scared him away.

“No, it’s fine.” He looked at the chip, then put it in his pants pocket. “I think you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> si, le tue mani sono di classe mondiale. Inizia a usare il gomito per favore - yes, your hands are world class. Start using your elbow please


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stand by with those sponges and washcloths.... ;-)
> 
> Enjoy....

Maya opened her eyes slowly, the room coming slowly into focus...or rather, a page of a book came into focus and she instinctively started to try to read it.

“That’s Italian…” she mumbled to herself when, after a minute or two of only recognising one or two words, she worked out why it wasn’t making any sense to her.

“Si…” Carina closed her book and put it on the side unit, then turned onto her side and propped her head up on her hand. “...ciao bella…” Her face was full of affection as she reached out and stroked her girlfriend’s cheek.

“You look…” Maya’s gaze roamed all over her girlfriend, taking in the little hints she had taken some time to care for herself as well as Maya and her brother, like her hair which Maya knew only looked that particular sort of silky and glorious if Carina had had the time to use the shampoo and conditioner she had at home, and blowdry it. “...amazing.”

“Grazie…” Carina leaned in and kissed Mayya’s lips gently, not trusting herself to explore her girlfriend’s neck again, not wanting to overwhelm her. “...so do you…” She nodded her head when she saw Maya start to frown. “...si, you do. You are feeling a little bit brighter no?”

“Umm…” Maya forced herself to concentrate on assessing herself, rather than her girlfriend. “...actually yeah.” She experimented with some very careful movements - pointing and flexing her left foot, wiggling the fingers of her right hand and reaching for Carina’s hand with her left hand. “None of that hurt, and I don’t feel as…” She worried at her lower lip, tasting the faint hint of the vaseline she now knew was helping them to not crack. “...heavy?” She saw Carina nod, relieved she was making sense. “I mean, it’s still all there, but...did I sleep through meds?”

“No, you do not have more for another…” Carina looked at her watch, drawing Maya’s attention to the rather bigger clue that Carina had taken some time to look after herself - she was wearing clothes Maya had last seen at home. “...ninety minutes or so.” She turned back to Maya and, just because she could, leaned in and kissed her again. “You are feeling a little bit better because you are resting and healing.”

“Even though I had to…go be fixed again.”

“Si, you are magnifica bella, I am so proud of you.” Seeing her praise had made Maya look uncomfortable, Carina decided to change the subject. “Would you like to try sitting up again?”

“Yes please.” Maya smiled at that suggestion, having liked being able to be a bit more upright when she’d had her first attempt earlier.

“Bene, I will go speak to the nurses...and see if they have the things ready for me also.”

“Things?” Maya’s curiosity was peaked.

“Si...I thought you might like to feel clean?”

“Bed-bath?” Maya was conflicted by that idea - on the one hand the idea of feeling clean was a lovely one, but how it was achieved given her current predicament was taking her back into the same embarrassed and humiliated headspace she’d been in when first discovering her ‘plumbing’ attachments. Hearing Travis’ voice in her head from his time recovering from his injury from the skyscraper fire wasn’t helping - he’d been especially vocal on how ‘not fun’ bed-baths with Grant were. Wait...she interrupted her own thoughts. “...will you do it?”

“Ovviamente...I need the nurses to help with getting you to sit up, but helping you feel clean? I am holding rank.”

“Pulling.” Maya’s eyes were brightening again, both at Carina’s insistence she was not letting others be involved in helping with the ‘bed-bath’, but also at the idiom hiccup. “Pulling rank.”

“Ah, I am pulling rank.”

“As doctor or girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend. Doctors are not trusted with bathing patients.”

Maya’s curiosity satisfied, she watched as Carina sat up, then stood up from the bed, not trapped by the bed rail this time. ”Wow.”

“Eh?” Carina had stretched as soon as she’d stood up, so missed what Maya had said, but turning back she chuckled. “You have seen these jeans before bella.”

“Yeah, but…” Maya forced herself to drag her eyes up her girlfriend’s body to her face, which was showing how amusing she was finding Maya’s reaction. “...I love you.”

“I love you too.” Carina turned all the way around and, using the bed to support herself, leaning in and gave Maya a very thorough, very detailed kiss that conveyed to her battered love just how much she still loved and desired her, sentiments that were returned in equal measure by Maya.

“Bene?”

“Yeah…” Maya smirked. “...but I think too many of those and I’ll be in trouble with Teddy.”

“Si, we will be good.” She laughed when Maya’s eyebrow rose. “Fine, I will be good. Do I go and put on the scrubs you love so much then?”

“What?” Maya’s eyes roamed over Carina again, taking in the deep dark blue skinny jeans that looked, cliche that it was, painted on, topped by a red and blue checked shirt…” ...that’s my shirt.” Her brain caught up with her ears. “No! I mean, you wear what’s comfortable, but I like those jeans a lot more than your scrubs.”

“Si.” Carina looked down at herself. “I was wearing one of mine but was a little cool.”

“Didn’t Andy bring you anything warm?”

“Si, but this is...just right.” She’d put the sweater on that Andy had also brought, but the two together had been too warm. Maya’s thicker cotton shirt had been the right balance, and she was...more at ease when wearing her girlfriend’s shirt, which she would not be analysing now. “You mind?”

“No, looks better on you than on me.”

“Impossibile, I like this shirt on you very much.” Carina knew they were in danger of getting back to a point where Maya was in danger of upsetting her ribs again, and that was not something Carina could allow - not only for the risk it posed to Maya, but also because she was certain she would never survive the teasing from her colleagues. “Now, will you press the button for the nurses so you can sit up?”

* * *

“Still feel tall?”

“Funny…” Maya stuck her tongue out at her girlfriend as she looked around her room, once more able to see it more easily now she was sitting up a little, noticing the little changes since the last time she’d been sitting up. “...is that a camp bed?”

“Si.” Carina sat down on ‘her’ side of the hospital bed and leaned back next to Maya, taking her left hand and tangling their fingers together, then following Maya’s gaze to the small fold out cot neatly set up under the window. “Another part of Bailey’s negotiation with your brother. That is the current option for the parents who stay the night with their children.” She turned her head and looked at Maya, seeing her frowning. “Bailey has assured him it can be as uncomfortable as the floor if he lies on it correctly...and I do not know how that has helped, but he was the one that told us, with a smile.”

“Joey,” said Maya quietly, thinking back to when Ben was coming in to shift shortly after they’d fostered Joey. “Jack said he’d always been suspicious of the families that were super nice right from the off, like they were trying to buy his loyalty or something...he suggested they left a sleeping bag and air mattress in the closet of Joey’s room, so he could...adjust at his own pace.”

“Ah.” Carina thought about how that might work, applying what she knew from medicine to the situation. “Like weaning - too much too fast and the body goes into shock.” Which reminded her… “Do you still want to try the broth later?”

“I think so.” Maya looked at Carina, feeling the pattern of her knuckles with her thumb. “Teddy thinks it’s ok still?”

“Si.”

“And you?”

“I am not your doctor Maya.”

“No, but I’m not going to pretend you don’t know all about this stuff...and as much as I hate it all and know I have a track record of doing stupid things like working when I have had a temperature and running on a messed up ankle, I don't actually plan to ever be an idiot. I just end up being idiotic and only understanding that's what I did a long time afterwards."

"Lo so, and si, I agree with Teddy. It is a good time to try a little bit of fluids and see how you feel. But it will only be a few mouthfuls and you will I think hate the taste. If you do, then I will talk to Teddy and Bailey about trying something different tomorrow, so you must be honest when you try it."

"I am not that fussy about food." 

"Then you can tell me that I am the one being the idiot Bella," said Carina amiably, sitting up and standing up. 

“Where is Mas?” asked Maya, realising she’d not seen him since she woke up from her super-long nap that had evidently lasted at least long enough for Carina to shower, blow dry her hair and eat lunch.

“Spending time with his wall,” said Carina with her amusement clearly audible in her voice as she sorted some things out by the basin. “I think he is getting to know it like a lover would.”

“Oh?” Maya wasn’t quite sure how to take that comment, and her bemusement prompted Carina to turn around and give a better explanation.

“When Robert brought the lunches, he also brought his...tape measure that is a laser?”

“Oh, a laser measure. Yeah...we use them all the time now…”

“Si, he said that he thought you would approve. While we ate lunch, Mason measured this room with it, and then he and Robert went down to the Lobby to start working out how he might measure his wall this evening.”

“This evening?”

“Si, Robert said he would come back and help Mason - Dr Bailey has given them permission to do it from 9pm tonight, as that lobby closes at 7pm and will be cleaned by then.”

“Ah, right...shining a laser across a busy lobby probably not the smartest thing to do…” agreed Maya, thinking it was decent of Robert to help Mason with the measurements. “...is it really that complicated to measure?”

“There is a curve to the surface which Mason isn’t sure about, but no, that is not the difficult part. That is the window cleaning anchors?” Carina’s puzzled look returned. “Andy said you could explain if I also said…” Carina started to count the random list of words Andy had told her off on her fingers. “...across along...ropes...not up down.” Carina mentally recited the list to herself again. “....e atrium. Si, atrium, ropes, across and along not up and down.” She nodded, pleased she’d got the strange list right. “Oh, and that Sato said yes to the Mayor’s Fund Award?”

“Huh.” While Maya started untangling that intellectual problem, Carina went back to sorting out whatever it was she was sorting out. “Ok, the Mayor’s Fund Award is what we call whatever the proper name for some sort of City Hall Sponsored Prize a Station gets for the best Community Project they come up with. Think the deadline for ideas, which have to be signed by the Captain and Battalion Chief, is like…” Maya thought for a moment, “...two weeks or something? It’s a really funny deadline like 3pm on a Tuesday...”

Personally, Carina thought that sounded like a perfectly sensible time of day for a deadline, and suspected it was Maya’s conditioning to think 24 hour shifts that mostly started at 8am were perfectly normal that was the ‘funny’ part. But she kept that opinion to herself and came back to the bed.

“...it’s the thing we were telling you about that 42 won?”

“Ah, si.” Carina understood now at least who the current holders of this prize were, though the significance of how it was relevant to Mason’s wall was still a mystery to her - not least because she didn’t know what they’d won with. “Can you talk and sit still at the same time?”

“I think so…” Maya was curious to see what was on the wheeled trolley table thing that she’d become accustomed to seeing the nurses wheeling in when she needed to have her dressings changed or ‘plumbing’ checked. “...what are you going to do?”

“Help you get clean?” said Carina, revealing the trolley on which was, thanks to Andy, Maya’s usual body wash and…

“Is that my shampoo?”

“Si...but you will have to be flat again for that, so I thought that I would leave it there to remind us either later tonight or tomorrow morning, before you sit up again.” Carina saw Maya’s face start to frown. “I do not want you to be so tired Mason cannot tell you about his wall measurements, and too much up and down will increase the chance of you not getting on well with the broth.”

“Ok, I like that plan a lot more,” agreed Maya, brightening again when she saw the wisdom of her girlfriend’s words. “So how do we do this?”

“ _ We _ …” emphasised Carina, looking pointedly at Maya, “...let me do the washing and  _ you  _ sit still and continue telling me about this award and what all those words mean.”

“Oh.” Carina watched as Maya looked at the wash cloths she had sitting on the top of the trolley, then looked at her left hand which she flexed and opened, then back to the wash cloths.

“Bella…” Carina had thought this might be the case, so had worked out a plan. “...put your hand on my waist per favore.” She sat down on the left side of the bed, her back to her girlfriend and the right hand side of her waist about where she thought Maya’s left hand could naturally reach out and wrap around. She was right. “Bene. Feel.” She mimed using her left hand to reach across her torso, as if she was washing herself.

“You’re twisting.”

“Si.”

“And your ribs were moving too.” Now that Maya was actively engaging with the situation in a rational, rather than emotional way, she was catching up with Carina’s thinking fast. “I’m sorry.” Carina turned to her left so she was, still sitting on the bed, now able to look Maya almost in the eye.

“For what?”

“Forgetting you’re a doctor who knows about this stuff.”

“Va bene. Will you tell me about the ropes and the award and how they have things to do with Mason’s wall, and sit still while I help you feel clean starting here?” she asked, indicating Maya’s left shoulder. “I am a lot out of practice so would be happier starting with your left side if that is ok bella?”

“Is it bad of me to be pleased you aren’t doing bed baths every week?” asked Maya lightly, tugging on the top sheet with her left hand so it was dislodged enough from her front that Carina felt she had permission to take over, Maya having picked up on her girlfriend’s care in always ensuring she didn’t start moving the bedsheet around without some sort of signal from Maya that it was what she wanted. “Though I remember Travis complaining it was a total mood killer.”

“Travis?” Carina tried to work out what the connection might be as she moved the sheet into the position it needed to be in, then position the protective sheet and towel that would stop the bed getting wet from any stray drops of water.

“Oh, right, I forgot…” Maya felt Carina moving her left arm and consciously willed herself to let it relax, trying to take her promise to Carina to not push herself seriously. “...he was injured in the big skyscraper fire by a shard of glass, came here for surgery.”

“That was Travis?”

“Umm, you know about that?”

“Si, Andrea was his doctor with Maggie Pierce. He told me about the surgery and it was a firefighter, but never his name.” Carina stood up and went back to the washbasin where she’d got a tub with hot water cooling. After adding some cold water to help it cool down a little more she brought it back to the trolley and, after a brief and deliberate prayer to whoever might be listening that she manage to maintain some self-control and remember her girlfriend was injured and to go very gently, she wetted the first wash cloth and gave it to Maya.

“I thought…”

“You cannot do everything that you can reach, but as long as you are careful with your movements you can wash your own face rather than have me treat you like Ellis Shepherd?” she suggested, naming Meredith’s youngest daughter who had an impressive skill when it came to covering her face with her food at times.

“Oh, thanks.” Maya took the warm damp cloth with a grin and carefully but enthusiastically washed her face with it. “Andrew knows,” she added, as she exchanged the used cloth for a freshly damped one which smelt like it had some of her body wash on it, which made her smile grow. “He did a call with us after that, Travis was still off but Vic was…”

“They are close yes?”

“He joined the Station when she was Probie.”

“But he was not called Probie because he was not a new firefighter, just new to you?” Carina was keen to test her recently acquired knowledge of firefighter naming conventions.

“Yeah. He changed stations as an experienced firefighter to get a fresh start.”

“After Michael died, si, he told me.”

“He did?” Maya swapped over the washcloth again, guessing this last one was just plain water again to get rid of any soap.

“Si. He was very kind that night, to me and to Vic, in different ways. And Mason with his pants.”

“You are getting those photos for me the day I can laugh without messing my ribs,” reminded Maya, grinning when she gave Carina back the wash cloth, glad that there was the funnier part of what had been happening while she was in the OR on Tuesday night that she could hold onto. “That feels good.”

“Thinking about Travis and his fire engine boxers?”

“Having a really clean face,” said Maya, looking expectantly at her girlfriend, not rising to the bait. “What next?”

“Next you must tell me more details about what Mason’s wall has to do with across and along and and the City Hall prize while I help you feel like the rest of you is really clean, starting with your neck and shoulder on this side.” This, realised Carina, preparing the next set of wet-soap-rinse wash cloths, was going to be one of the most arduous labours of love she had ever undertaken, as she tried to make sure she found the way to make this feel like a ‘total mood killer’ for her girlfriend….and herself.

“Why…” Maya’s words stuck in her throat when Carina ran the first washcloth across her shoulder and, when Maya took the hint and inclined her head forwards, round the back of her neck and then carefully around the front of her neck and under her chin, areas that Maya hadn’t been able to reach without risk of straining an already angry muscle when she’d had control of the washcloth. “...yes, right.” 

Now she understood...just because everything to do with her digestive system and its related functions was currently being ‘managed’ for her, didn’t mean all of her bodily functions were on ‘pause’, and leaning her head into Carina’s body, that smelled exactly like Carina smelled on their days off right down to the faint hint of their laundry detergent, the shampoo and separate conditioner that sat on the shelf in the shower next to the body wash and...no, that was definitely not helping.... “Umm, so….there’s a City Hall fund, a few hundred dollars usually, that is the Award part - it goes…” She tilted her head forwards again for the soap round. “...to the Station with the best idea for a Community initiative in their district.”

“That does not sound like a lot of money for the effort you were making the application sound like it needed when you were describing it before.”

“That’s because it isn’t. It can be, like it will buy a lot of survival kits and vaccines which is what we did with the money the year we won it, but the real value of the prize is when headquarters authorises things like the Aid Car being stood down for a couple of hours so we can go and do the health checks, or whatever it might be.” She tilted her head forwards again for the rinse cycle, starting to get the hang of how this process was going to work. “That you get authorised every year after for as long as the Station wants to still do it.” Carina was right, talking about this was making it easier to not think about how good her girlfriend smelled...wait, no, not helpful….concentrate..

“Ah, so the real value is not in the money you get from winning the ‘Mayor’s Award’ in the first year, but because you get permission to do the work that goes into spending the money?”

“Pretty much. Since we never tried to win another Award, our camp clinics initiative request to take the Aid Car out every month keeps rolling forwards.”

“How do you pay for the vaccines and things?” asked Carina, preparing the next set of washcloths, keeping one eye on Maya’s general mood, but pleased she seemed to be suitably distracted by their conversation and the general delight in feeling a fresh sort of clean again compared to the sort of clean that the chemical wipes they used to clean trauma patients up enough to ensure they didn’t infect themselves in surgery. “After the first year I mean, if you don’t mind me knowing?”

“There’s a bit of community programme funding in the Station budget you can use, but that gets smaller every year because of city budgets and stuff, but we…” Maya glanced at the door. “...once the guys knew about Mas, someone, Jack and Andy I think, managed to engineer a Station vote that when we did our stupid bets and pools, we should split the pot so some went into the camp checks fund and the rest on the winners.”

“Like they did with the twins’ names and for the puppies?” Carina pointed to Maya’s left arm, deciding it was probably better to make sure that was clean next.

“Yeah, though they were talking about splitting what was left after they’d already split of some for the camp checks...it’s…” Maya bit her lip, knowing Carina knew she was ticklish under her arm, knowing too that she was trying not to make it feel ticklish for Maya. “...not huge but mounts up over the year...no one really thinks about it anymore, it’s just what we ‘do’.”

“Si, you ‘just do’ a lot of good things at your Station,” Carina hadn’t appreciated how important the fire station was to the area it was in until she’d started visiting the station a bit more, and seen more of what Maya’s work when not responding to a call actually involved. “So Mason’s wall is the new idea?”

“Sounds like it…” Maya thought for a bit while Carina started with the soap round. “...it would work well, the hospital’s in our district, ideas for kids do well with the City Hall types, but what…” 

Maya, as Carina had hoped, started to forget about her arm being washed as she tried to untangle the word puzzle Andy had given Carina. This was a handy distraction, as it enabled Carina to give proper attention to the part of Maya that was accumulating dirt at probably the fastest rate since it was the part of her that wasn’t almost permanently tucked away safely under sheets and dressings.

“...oh, wow…” Maya’s eyes went wide when she saw everything Andy was thinking slot into place. “...because of how much glass there is in that space, there’s probably lots of anchor points for the window cleaners to clip onto when they clean them.” There wasn’t just the glass wall of the atrium, there were the windows onto the ward corridors around the other two sides of the atrium too, and she couldn’t quite picture the ceiling, but suspected there were some anchors up there too for lighting and general maintenance.

“Si, like in the mountains, they are…” Carina completed the soaping circuit with a thorough go at her girlfriend’s left hand, earning her a raised eyebrow. “...you had something greasy from the fire on your hand that was very stubborn when I cleaned it while you were in Recovery.”

“Were you talking in Italian?” asked Maya, a sudden fuzzy thought becoming a bit less fuzzy.

“Probably…” Carina caught her lip as she tried to remember what she might have been talking about, then laughed. “...si! The nurses had no idea what I was saying but apparently my movements made it obvious. Teddy told me to find my English...and I was telling you that you loved the dirt so much I was going to have to teach the puppies how to wipe their feet.”

“I’m not that bad…” grumbled Maya with mock irritation, struck by the image of Carina couched over the tiny dogs gently wiping their paws in the same way she was currently cleaning Maya’s hand. “...I think what Andy’s thinking is that rather than going up and down on the ropes, Mas could go side to side as well...but it depends on where the anchor points are.” She thought a little more, then nodded. “Yeah, that needs a lot of detailed measurements….” She looked at her girlfriend, expecting to see her satisfied with the answer, not frozen in shock. “What?”

“You want Mason swinging around the atrium on a rope? On his own? Come Tarzan?”

“Oh, no…” Maya smiled and shook her head. “...no swinging, we do it for things like cliff rescues. You’re tight to the cliff face or wall in this case...but if you do it right you can hold someone steady in a very specific spot without them having to think about keeping their position, so they can then triage the casualty...or paint a wall. Otherwise there’d need to be some sort of platform or scaffold for him to stand on to paint, and that gets super expensive really quickly.”

“You can do that?” asked Carina, amazed at the easy way Maya talked about something so specialised. “With all the ropes?”

“Triage someone on a cliff face then get them out? Yeah, but Andy’s the real expert. She’s the one that could set it all up so someone like me ended up in the right spot.”

“And the Prize would give you the opportunity to help him like that?”

“Yeah, I mean Andy and a few of the other more expert climbers across the department would probably want to help anyway, but others would too - we’re always looking to practice things like that, and no one’s going to pass up the chance to do it indoors in winter. Even just submitting the prize proposal helps make it ‘official’, we’d just have to make sure we only helped him when we were off shift.”

“That makes sense…” Carina squeezed the excess water from the new washcloth and sent a silent prayer of thanks in Bailey’s direction - the significance of what Mason’s ‘wall’ meant in terms of creating an opportunity for the Bishop siblings to rebuild their relationship had yet to sink in for either of them, but Carina was starting to see what was offering. “Last time you need to worry about being tickled,” she added, knowing what her girlfriend had been preoccupied with when Carina declared her arm the next washing target.

“Ok…” Maya looked around the room for a new topic to distract herself with, spotting the bag by the camp bed. “...is that the bag from under our bed?”

“Si…” Carina reminded herself to give Maya a chance to process that new piece of information and to not anticipate her reaction to it - her girlfriend was a strange dichotomy of easy acceptance of chaos when she turned up at scenes and had no idea what to expect and inability to cope with surprises or unexpected change. To the uninitiated, Maya’s reactions could appear random and very unpredictable, but Carina wasn’t one of the uninitiated anymore.

“You remembered it?” Maya looked at her girlfriend with delighted, loving amazement. “I told you about it months ago….does he know about it?”

“Si, and because I also remembered you saying that you were worried about how he would react to it, so you would only give it to him if there was an opportunity to do so in a way that meant he could open it when he was ready without you being there…” Maya nodded, knowing what she’d been worried about, what she was still worried about, though she’d also been rather more resigned to never actually getting the opportunity to see him, not having anticipated being shot. “...I told him about it as Andy, Robert and I were just sorting out how to eat our lunch and realising we would be safer in my office. So we went there while you were asleep and asked him to keep you company.”

“Sneaky…” complimented Maya, impressed.

“It was accidental...your little table was able to cope with two but not three of us trying to not spill our food on you while you slept. Bene, your arm is clean now.” She put aside the washcloth and looked at Maya, worried in case she was dwelling on how her brother might have reacted to his sister’s kindness. But a fresh clean arm was a greater distraction it seemed. 

“That feels good…” sighed Maya happily, carefully raising her hand towards her face and taking a slow breath in through her nose, not realising how much the smell of chemicals and possibly smoke still felt like it had still been clinging to her, only for her arm to be trapped in the soft fluffy towel Carina suddenly had in her hands and was using to make sure everywhere they’d washed so far was properly dry, though again she left Maya to do her own face.

“Si, I know you think it smelled like chemicals from your job, but it was the ones we use in the ER to prepare you for the OR.”

“Ah, I always wondered about that...I mean fire isn’t very clean.” Maya watched as Carina took the towel back and folded it out of the way again.

“No, and we prefer you to worry about the urgent stuff. Now…” Carina sighed, smiling with a mixture of resignation and amusement. “Please go back to telling me why you and Andy were talking about window washer pumps on the engine yesterday, or we will both be in a lot of trouble with Teddy.”

“We will? And you want me to talk about truck maintenance, really?” Maya followed Carina’s gaze and realised where was next for the wet-soap-rinse-dry routine. “Oh, yeah…” She swallowed and looked somewhat pained at the realisation. “...like tickling was the thing I should have been worried about…” she grumbled, looking at the left side of her chest where her traitorous nipple was already reacting to the scrutiny. Didn’t her libido appreciate the kind thing to do right now was have a nap? “...right, so…” Maya bit her lower lip and looked up towards the ceiling, feeling somewhat better when she heard Carina muttering to herself in Italian what she thought she recognised as her girlfriend’s ‘get a grip’ self-lecture. “...have you ever seen a fire engine on a tow truck?”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @slugger35 for the US geography assistance at the end of this chapter :-)
> 
> Enjoy, and thank you for all sticking with this epic monster as we push through the 100k mark....!

“This smells different…” said Maya thoughtfully, turning her head and sniffing loudly, trying to pick up the faint scent that her ‘Italian tailored’ uniform shirt that she was again wearing now her top half was feeling nice and clean. “...like the washing detergent we’ve got at the Station at the moment.”

“Si.” Carina had just finished getting fresh warm water and was pulling on a fresh pair of gloves. “Ready for your right leg bella?” she asked, looking up at Maya and seeing her sniffing again. “It is the detergent. It has been washed there for you.”

“Really? How?” Maya looked at Carina and realised she’d missed a question, though from where she was standing it was fairly obvious. “If you don’t mind, now I know what feeling properly clean feels like it would be nice…can I help at all?” she asked, trying that out as a way to mitigate her feeling of helplessness without heading into ‘idiot’ territory at high speed.

“Si…Andy took it back to the Station after you took it off, they washed it during shift and she brought it back this morning.” Carina moved the bed sheets back from Maya’s injured leg, revealing the almost knee length compression sock with the open toe and a small gap around her knee before the dressing covering her thigh wound surgery site. It was the first time she’d looked at Maya’s leg as a leg, and not just focused on sorting out whatever tangle her girlfriend had got into with her lines, since the before the first surgery. And something struck her. “Can you cope with me being a doctor for a few minutes?”

“Sure.” That wasn’t what Maya had expected, but she could go along with it. “Have I messed something up?” That was her default concern now, everytime anyone medical looked at her right side. “And I’d not made it that dirty had I?” Hearing how quickly her modified uniform work shirt had been washed, coupled with Carina looking at her leg the way she was, and Maya’s anxiety was starting to increase.

“Mmm?” Carina looked back at Maya with delayed surprise. “No! The opposite bella.” Carina had been about to continue talking about her interest in Maya’s leg, but first she’d deal with the shirt. “That shirt came straight from the packet, so Andy took it to wash with the other uniforms so it stopped being so stiff and felt more familiar. If it had not been brand new, it would not have gone for a wash.”

“Ah.” Maya relaxed back against the pillow, relieved the shirt hadn’t needed washing because of something she’d done. “Thank you, for thinking about such tiny details.” She looked down at her front, seeing how the fabric was behaving like it usually did and just following her bodyline, rather than the sharp creases it had yesterday, though the minute the badge was put on, they were harder to spot. “What are you thinking?” she asked, nodding to her thigh.

“I think you might be able to lose the drain tomorrow when Teddy checks you…”

“That’s good right?”

“If she does not agree and you still have the drain, you are still doing good, but if she agrees then you are doing very good,” explained Carina carefully, wanting Maya to understand that it was more like a good/very good situation rather than good/bad. “...but I wanted to ask if you minded if I prod a little?”

“Sure…” Maya wasn’t ever going to not let Carina ‘prod a little’, especially if she’d prefaced her request with putting herself in ‘doctor’ mode. “...what are you prodding for?” And is it going to hurt was her other, unspoken question.

“I would like to feel the muscle…” Carina saw her girlfriend’s eyebrow raise and tutted. “Not like Amelia does…” she chastised with amusement. “...does your leg feel stiff?”

“Well yeah…” Maya thought about her right leg, knowing she’d been trying really hard not to move it because she’d discovered the hard way, almost as soon as she properly woke up after her big surgery, that holes in thighs did not appreciate being moved. “...but I assumed that was, well…the big hole in my leg.”

“Ah.” Carina carefully put her right hand on the unbandaged part of Maya’s right thigh, just above the knee. “That will make it feel strange, but…” She looked at Maya, trying to think of the best way of asking her question without getting too energetic a reaction. “...I do not think you did any stretches before Teddy took you into the OR.”

“Stretches?” Maya looked at her right leg, thinking what Carina was trying to get at, trying not to punch back. “Do you mean before or after I was shot? Because before I’d need to be psychic and after...I think that’s more for Teddy to answer.” It was more of a jab than a punch, without the angry tone, but the sarcasm was definitely a warning sign. 

“Thank you, you have made my point.” Carina looked levelly at her girlfriend, determined to stay calm - she knew Maya was smart enough to understand her point if she gave herself a chance to try, and was also able to recognise the harsh bite to her words wasn’t Maya being specifically mad at Carina, just needing to let some understandable frustration at her present circumstances out. “What do you do before and after every run no matter how hard I try to distract you?”

“Stretches.” Seeing Carina’s neutral, almost bored expression, the words tumbled forth from Maya like they did everytime her doing the stretches brought about that same look from her girlfriend. “It’s important, otherwise the muscles tighten up and lose their ability to extend to support the joint’s range of motion. Not stretching after using the muscles is bad, but so too is not using the muscles at all, so stretching before exercise, especially early morning exercise is…” Maya’s well rehearsed mini-lecture on the importance of stretching to stop the muscles tightening ground to a halt and she watched in silence as Carina carefully felt the individual muscles across the top of her knee.

“Bene.” Carina moved along the edge of the bed so she was level with her girlfriend’s hip. “May I?” she asked, pointing to Maya’s hip, getting a stoic, silent nod. “Grazie.” Taking a moment to consciously picture the anatomy she was very familiar with from her specialism, reminding herself to specifically focus on the location of the bullet wound and surgical incision, which needed to be directly and indirectly avoided, as she definitely wasn’t intending to cause Maya any pain, she sought out the muscles she wanted to prod. “Tell me what you feel?” she asked, deciding Maya had enough time to sort through her own thoughts. “As an athlete who understands muscles,” she clarified, making it clear to Maya that she expected her to engage her brain and actively participate in this little triage session rather than grumble.

“You’re pushing into the…” Maya closed her eyes and concentrated, picturing the anatomy pages in her battered old strength and conditioning book, the pages on the hip and leg the most well worn. “...tensor fasci thing, outside top of pelvis part of hip socket down into the outer thigh.”

“Si, very good.” Carina was impressed, not expecting Maya to be that expect at the anatomy, but she was right - Carina was applying slight pressure to the flat muscle that extended from the side of the pelvis down into the side of the thigh, where it became the illio-tibial band that she knew Maya was especially diligent at keeping from getting tight usually with horrible exercises involving a tennis ball and sometimes, a small rubber thing she thought of as a peanut, could almost be said to look like it some sort of sex toy, but Maya assured her was actually called a ‘double lacrosse ball’. Either way, whatever it was called, Carina had learned to not try any sort of distraction technique on Maya if it was making an appearance during her stretching routine, or attempt what Maya was doing. “And your opinion of it?”

“Too tight…” grumbled Maya, feeling Carina increase the pressure slightly, though not enough that Maya felt the need to try and push back against it. “...because until I started sitting up I’d not mobilised the hip joint or rotated my thigh.”

“Si, which means you’ve been very good bella…” said Carina, moving her prodding to the next muscle on her target list, which was the pectineus, which, “...that is too tight yes?”

“Yes,” growled Maya, not liking having what felt like a small muscle but was actually not all that small, just surrounded by larger muscles, poked. “And you don’t need to go round to the adductors, I can already tell you those are too tight.” She was about to try and give them a little stretch, now she’d had her attention drawn to them, when she felt Carina’s whole hand press against her inner thigh, the heel of her hand feeling quite firm and practically on her pelvis as it pushed against her shifting thigh...and also reminded her quite how high up her inner thigh she’d gone. Carina’s fingers, wearing the surgical gloves that were essential for anyone having contact with Maya’s right side, were less than an inch from where her thigh became...definitely not somewhere Maya wanted to think about now as this was Carina in Doctor mode not girlfriend mode. “What are…”

“Am I doing? Stopping you from going from very good to very bad in un momento bella,” chided Carina gently, waiting until she felt the resistance Maya was putting into her leg fade. “Bene, do you remember what Teddy said about your thigh?”

“Not really…” admitted Maya after a thoughtful pause, her bad mood shifting as she remembered her girlfriend wasn’t the enemy...and was doing whatever she was doing to prove and confirm her belief that Maya had been  _ very good _ , which had to count for something. “...umm, I’d kinda stopped listening after the whole scare my girlfriend shitless moment Teddy put you through.”

“I thought so…” agreed Carina, not disputing Maya’s summary of how Teddy’s first attempt at explaining what the fourth bullet to penetrate Maya’s uniform and abdomen had very nearly hit, and how close they’d come to Carina being in an impossible position of being the surgeon Maya would have then needed and not being able to help. “...and I have forgiven Teddy, she did not mean to frighten me like that - she did not know I had not at that point looked at your chart to see the details, and I did not mean to upset you so will you try to forgive her too per favore?” 

“I think I already have…” admitted Maya quietly, still not understanding why Carina was so interested in her inner thigh right up almost where it met her pelvis, when her dressing was more like halfway between her knee and hip on the front of her thigh. “...but I am confused by your hand and interest in my groin muscles....” She tried for a bit of humour to help her own good humour return and, more importantly as far as she was concerned, to try to show Carina she wasn’t cross or angry anymore in general, never mind being cross with her girlfriend. “...because if you’re that interested in engine maintenance you could just ask me.”

“That is good to know…” agreed Carina with a smile on her face and a hint of laughter in her voice, accepting the apology and fresh start. “...do you remember which muscle Teddy said you have the hole in?”

“No, I’d assumed…” Maya tried to feel past the slightly odd sensation of her girlfriend’s very familiar hand on her thigh in an unfamiliar surgical glove and at a rather odd angle. “...the main quad, oh, I can’t remember the name of it but it’s the one I had to bulk up when I went to the Academy to get through the stair climb tests.”

“Si?” Carina thought about this for a moment, distracted by the puzzle Maya had set her from the one she’d set her girlfriend. “But you had the high repetition flexing…”

“It was strong enough to get me up the stairs fast yes, but not me plus the weight of the kit.”

“The vest and the hose?” She resumed her careful exploration, applying gentle pressure with her fingers for a few seconds at a time in a spot, then moving on to another one.

“Yeah. That’s an extra 75 pounds to add to me. But for my height, my track race speed was optimised if I was weighing around 120 pounds.”

“But that’s…”

“Much lighter than I am now? Yeah, but that was the weight I was as I won the medal, which was what that muscle I can’t remember the name of was used to having to shift each step I ran on a sprung track in spikes. Boots going up concrete stairs with more than 50% of my body weight added on again? It wasn’t up to it, so I spent six months doing lots of leg work before I got to the Academy.” Which, along with the rest of the work she did to reshape her body from ‘Olympic distance runner’ to ‘firefighter cadet’ also saw her overall bodyweight increase, reducing the incremental impact of the kit weight, which also helped...and made her treat her Olympic Final race kit ‘bikini’ with even greater distaste when she’d seen it last week for the first time since coming back to the US.

“Rectus femoris, but most of my patients expect me to be impressed if they know it is a ‘quad’.”

“I hope I am not ‘most’ patients?” teased Maya, her good humour returned now, replaced with her more usual curiosity whenever Carina was sharing her knowledge in a more abstract, knowledge for the sake of knowledge type way, which since Maya was her girlfriend not her patient, was how it usually arose. “Were you holding my thigh so I wouldn't try and rotate my hip?”

“Or lift at the hip, si.”

“Ah.” Maya chewed on her lip as she tried to remember the muscles she’d spend literally hours stretching and strengthening so they would support her endless circuits round the track. Unconsciously, her left hand had drifted to the top of her left leg as she mentally worked out which muscles Carina had mentioned so far, and which ones hadn’t been literally touched on. “You’re kidding me.”

“Eh?” Carina had a feeling her girlfriend had worked it out, but wasn’t prepared to take any chances, so returned to her careful immobilisation of Maya’s right hip and thigh in case her girlfriend wanted to test her new theory.

“The really long one that goes from the top of the hip bone to below the knee? On a diagonal across the front? The...sar..”

“The sartorius muscle?”

“You skipped that one right along with the rectus femoris.”

“I need you to do rounds with my Resident, then I could ask them whether they know as much about your fire hoses and ladders when you get their questions right.” Carina and her Resident were not having a particularly happy time with each other at the moment, with the spiked mince pies incident not helping her see any redeeming qualities they might have otherwise had.

“Harsh, but I don’t think many at the Station would give you much beyond ‘quad’ apart from Ben...are you saying the bullet hit the sartorius?”

“Si...and your leg is so stiff because you have been very, very good at not trying to move it at all, which is very good for the wound but not good for your comfort.” Carina lifted her hand away from Maya’s thigh, hovering in mid air in case she needed to do a quick immobilisation again if her girlfriend’s stubbornness reappeared.

“But that’s like…” Maya used her left index finger and thumb to show she was picturing the muscle that the bullet had hit as a very small target, barely wider than the bullet itself. “...about as random as my appendix being in the way of the other two.”

“Si, it is very rare, but actually not too bad for you.”

“How do you work that out?”

“Because it is not a muscle that you need to be bulky, so there will not be a long term weakness from a thin bit like…” Carina wasn’t as familiar with the muscles in the lower leg as the upper, with many of the thigh and hip muscles not only helping with leg movements, but they also either helped or hindered stabilising the pelvis, and that was a hugely important part of the anatomy of obstetrics for obvious reasons. “...a calf tear?” she suggested finally, her eyes having roamed over Maya’s leg for a moment while her brain provided her with a hint.

“Oh, yeah, those are nasty. Never had one.”

“I know.” Carina allowed herself to look a little smug at that, especially when Maya looked at her in genuine surprise. “How did I know?” She leaned over so she could put her hand in the small space between the bed and the back of Maya’s left knee, not, for the reasons she’d just patiently explained to Maya, wanting to go anywhere near Maya’s right knee for the moment. “Because I…” she ran her right hand down the back of Maya’s calf, supporting the leg at the knee with her left hand so there could be no jostling up through the thigh to Maya’s abdomen. “...have never felt any dent in either of your legs.”

“You have.”

“I have what?”

“Torn your calf muscle,” realised Maya suddenly, two pieces of knowledge she’d stored in very separate parts of her brain coming together and connecting. “Left leg, just above the little patch of freckles you are ticklish on.” It was her turn to smile at her girlfriend’s surprise. “Torn might be a bit much, mild tear? Probably didn’t even know if you weren’t doing competitive stuff? But if felt weird for a few weeks and has ended up a bit flat where your right calf is curved.”

“Si, but…”

“Can we pretend it’s the occupational hazard of being a runner? You’re paranoid about checking your calves aren’t tight and suddenly your hands are super-sensitive to changes in muscle tone even if they’re not your muscles?”

“And if I said no?” teased Carina, removing her hands from Maya’s left leg carefully and straightening up, before pulling the sheet back down over her legs and then removing her gloves. Waiting for Maya’s answer, she went over to the basin and washed her hands.

“Then I’ll just say I love your legs as much as I love the rest of you, and definitely miss feeling your calf muscle when I wake up to find your knee in my boob.”

Of course, it was at that point that there had been a tentative knock at the door, followed by it opening just enough for Mason to hear one of the many words no little brother ever wanted to hear their big sister saying to anyone, nevermind their girlfriend.

“Err, I’ll....”

Fortunately, as fast as he might have reacted to turn and bolt from the embarrassing situation, Carina was quicker.

“...come in Mason, Maya is dressed and sitting up.”

“She is?” Mason pushed open the door again.

“I am Mas…” agreed Maya brightly, so relieved Carina had stopped him from running - even if it was probably only as far as the corridor until he could be confident he wasn’t seeing more of his sister than he felt comfortable with. The thought of him ducking out of the room for a moment was still too tightly associated with the greater fear that she’d never see him again if he ran, and that wasn’t something Maya was feeling all that able to think about at the moment. “...see?” She even managed to wave at him.

“Wow…” Mason stood rooted to the spot at the end of the bed, taking in the transformation of his sister. “...you look…” He saw her smile start to shift, so rushed on. “...awesome May, really.”

“I do?” Maya was confused by his enthusiasm for how she looked, her own enthusiasm coming from just being nearer to sitting up than lying down, and wearing a clean shirt, or at least half a clean shirt, and feeling properly clean from the waist up for the first time in a while.

“I was saving that for a surprise,” admitted Carina, coming to stand next to Mason, taking in Maya’s overall appearance from a slightly greater distance than the impression she’d built up during the ‘bath’ had allowed. “And she was teasing my tendency to...be a barnacle in my sleep after a bad shift.”

“Oh, you mean limpet.” Mason was looking at Carina, so missed his sister’s surprise at both his confidence and ease with which he was talking to Carina, but also at his knowledge.

“They are the same no? With the little shell and...” Carina cupped one hand and put it on her forearm, mimicking a little shell sticking out from a surface.

“No...well yes, they are both have shells and hold onto things, but what’s inside the shell is different.” Mason looked nervously at his sister, feeling self-conscious when on the receiving end of Carina’s paying serious attention mindset, but seeing Maya nod, he took that as encouragement to keep going, that he wasn’t being humoured, but that for whatever reason Carina really did want to hear him continue. “A limpet is more a sort of snail really, but a barnacle is a sort of static shrimp.”

“Static shrimp?” Those were two words Carina knew, but had never put next to each other, in English or Italian.

“If you take what is inside the shell out, it will look a bit like shrimp, but they don’t move. The thing…” Mason’s mind was totally lacking in how a barnacle started. “...egg, larva thing lands on a bit of rock it likes and starts growing its shell in that spot and never moves. But a limpet is like a snail and moves around the surface it’s attached to, eating stuff.”

“What does the barnacle eat then? Or doesn’t it?” asked Maya, her own curiosity kicking in, Carina’s interest in this sea life conversational detour sparking Maya’s inner love for random information and overruling her sisterly instinct to know how he became an expert in shellfish.

“They eat...but it’s...something to do with how they have holes in the shell which the tidal water goes through, and they catch stuff. Not sure if it’s the shell that does the catching or the shrimpy thing.”

“Grazie Mason.” Carina reconsidered her original comment that launched them down that route. “You are right, I am more like a snail in my sleep and your sister is very, very tolerant of me.”

“She is?” Mason’s main memory of sharing a bed with his sister, usually by accident if he fell asleep part way through telling her about his nightmares, was that she was quite a territorial sleeper. “My memory is of her defending her space, but I guess you’re not a six year old with elbows and knees.”

“She’s still got elbows and knees…” joked Maya, remembering what he was like. “And it wasn’t your elbows I minded so much as your feet.”

“What did I do with my feet?”

“Practice your soccer skills with me as your ball from the bruises you gave me sometimes…” Both brother and sister knew it wasn’t his soccer skills that caused his feet to flail against his sister, but they didn’t need to dwell on that.

“That I do not do,” confirmed Carina, deciding that they would finish Maya’s bath another time so moving the trolley away from the bed, pleased Mason was still at ease around them without the benefit of Andy or Amelia as a buffer. Plus, it wasn’t like there was any point in pretending she didn’t share a bed with Maya, as had seen her lie with Maya in both this larger bed and the normal hospital bed Maya had been in before. “But she is not entirely innocent.”

“I’m not?”

“Only you wouldn’t consider 5am runs a crime against sleep May.”

“Si.”

“I am quiet!”

“Si, but the bed is then cold...” Carina headed back to the bed on Maya’s left side, gesturing to Mason that he should make himself comfortable in the chair he’d been leaving for Carina to use until now.

“Quiet is progress.”

“That was not my fault, the floorboards on the landing outside your bedroom door were creaky.”

“Yeah right…” teased Mason, sitting down in the chair and self-consciously straightening the edge of the t-shirt he was wearing. “...thanks for the…” He looked back up at his sister, her ‘awesomeness’ fading. “Carina?” Mason abandoned his thought, instead picking up on her apparent increasing anxiety, wanting Carina to know. “She’s…” He nodded in Maya’s direction.

“Bella?” Carina turned to see what was concerning him about his sister, and immediately spotting her error. “Your arm…” She was about to stand up again and go and help Maya get comfortable with her right arm again, when Maya reached out with her left hand to stop her.

“...it’s just weird…”

“Weird pain or strange?”

“Different.” Maya took a couple more calming breaths, then looked at Carina. “Can it stay up like that?” ‘It’ was her right arm, and ‘up like that’ was in a strapping that supported her arm in such a way that she couldn’t disturb her collarbone or overtax her shoulder, but instead of the strapping keeping her arm close to her body (a tricky challenge in itself given her rib injuries), it was attached to a frame by the bed and meant her arm was fully supported by also held away from her body. It had been the new thing she’d tried when she’d sat up, and she’d presumed it was only because of the bath.

“As long as your fingers are pink and wiggle and you do not feel extra pain elsewhere, while you are sitting up yes it can stay up like that. It feels different?”

“Not as hot…” For all Maya’s acceptance of Carina wrapping around her like their newly understood marine limpets, Carina slept, even before the injuries, on Maya’s left side, which meant her right arm and side was always able to emerge from under the bedclothes if she felt too warm. It wasn’t so bad when she was lying down fully flat, as Carina or the nurse helped her have her arm on the bed so it wasn’t squashing against her ribs, but as she started to have her head a little higher, her hand had to move closer to her body and that then became an exercise in finding the narrow range of positions which provided relief to her collarbone and ribs without aggravating her abdomen or thigh. “...and everything hurts a bit less.”

“Bene. You also look much happier...but I will be extra careful moving about as you worry you might wobble when I do si?”

“I know I can’t actually wobble…” That had been Maya’s immediate worry when she’d first been shown the sling construction by the nurse when she’d woken up from her nap earlier, but they’d managed to overcome that fairly quickly. “...but it just…”

“...feels weird?” suggested Mason helpfully, glad that her arm like that was a good thing not something to be worried by.

“Yeah, like you knowing about barnacles and limpets. That wasn’t in biology class was it?”

“No, I...spent a bit of time down by the water. The guys that are there all the time are really knowledgeable about that sort of stuff, it was easy learning about it listening to them...and it’s always good to know which jellyfish don’t have stingers.”

“Si, that was important at home…”

“In Sicily? You lived on the coast?”

“Si.” Carina looked at him impressed - she was more used to being confused with almost any Mediterranean nationality except her own, rather than someone actually getting the part of Italy right after knowing her for such a short space of time and not, as far as she could remember, ever explicitly telling him where she was from. “Did Andrea…”

“Say you were from Sicily? No. Amelia said Sicily earlier but it was you describing Bailey as Etna. That’s the volcano in Sicily right? By the City...same name as the region...Cat-something?”

“Si, Catania. How did you know about that?” Carina was impressed.

“Science Fair project. American school kid rite of passage.”

“Etna?”

“Volcanos. I started reading about them, kept hoping May would get some races in Hawaii or Japan so I could go see one, but she was useless.”

“But I thought she had lots of races...”

“He means I was useless at getting him free trips to exotic places with erupting volcanos for him to visit. Idaho and North Dakota weren’t exotic enough.”

“My patients tell me to go there…”

“Idaho?”

“Dakota...it has the mountain with the big president heads carved in it and lots of national parks with beautiful landscapes no?”

“That’s South Dakota.”

“Si, Dakota.”

“Umm…” Mason looked past Carina to Maya to check if he was about to be told he was a subject of an elaborate tease by her girlfriend, but Maya didn’t have enough poker face to fool him - she was looking equally shocked at the idea of Carina wanting to go to North Dakota. “...you do know when someone says South Dakota they’re talking about the State? And there’s another state called North Dakota?”


	25. Chapter 25

“That…” said Mason, trying not to laugh at his sister’s expression, “...is not making me want to try it.”

“That’s…” Maya glared at the straw sticking out of the cup she’d just sucked a couple of mouthfuls of the ‘broth’ she was trying from. “...really strange.” She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, like she was trying to work up some saliva to clear her palate.

“What is?” asked Carina, holding the cup, waiting to find out if she wanted to try another mouthful or whether they were about to have some complications from her first attempt at ingesting fluids after her big surgery nearly four days ago.

“All of it.” Maya looked at Carina. “Am I supposed to feel it going all the way down like that?”

“It is not a problem if you do,” said Carina carefully - it wasn’t a planned symptom, and if the hyper awareness of the passage of fluids down through to her stomach turned into hyper sensitivity and triggered reflux it would be a problem...but she hoped that was not what was about to happen.

“Is it supposed to taste like tomato sauce on salt?”

“I…” Carina looked at the nurse, hoping she had a better idea about what this particular concoction was supposed to taste like.

“That’s not the weirdest description I’ve ever heard,” confirmed the nurse, smiling. “It’s not really got a flavour.” She held out Maya’s chart, which she was updating with the details of the fluid and how much of it Maya would eventually try, for Carina to look at.

“Ah, si…” Carina hadn’t recognised the particular one the nurse had brought in from how it looked, but she recognised the chart note and understood what it was supposed to be like. “...it is the one my patients have, bene.” She now understood Maya’s confusion. “It’s...what does your team call it when they have the really bad for them take-away? The taste of yum?”

“Taste of yumminess…” Aware Mason and the nurse had no idea what she was talking about, Maya skipped over how it was a Hughes-ism that Miller had picked up first, and Travis had soon followed, condemning the rest of them to be stuck with it forever. “...that fifth taste thing that MSG has?” She looked at the broth in distaste suddenly. “That’s what this is supposed to taste like? Why?”

“Si. Because for most of my patients it makes them think of take out and foods they associate as ‘treats’, especially if they have not been eating for a few days like you have.”

“My sister,” explained Mason helpfully for the rather lost looking nurse, “...is a freak of nature who considers green vegetables comfort food, or at least used to. Guess she still does.” A new thought hit him. “Since when did you like tomato sauce?”

“Since I started eating half my meals at the station. Burgers are really dry without it.” Maya nodded to Carina and smiled when she moved the cup back in range so Maya could have another couple of sips. “And now I actually  _ like  _ pasta if Carina’s made it.”

“Slowly…” reminded Carina quietly, pulling the cup back a little when she thought Maya was maybe trying to be a bit too fast. “...it is just to get the systems going…” She waited until Maya had swallowed her last sip, not wanting her to choke. “...like stretching the muscles…” she teased, delighted when she got an eye roll and shake of the head for her silliness. “Does it still taste like tomato sauce?”

“On salt, yeah.” Maya ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth, trying to clear the taste. “And really powdery. That didn’t feel as strange though, on the way down.”

“Bene, things are waking up and calming down again.” 

Carina looked in the cup, giving it a little wiggle so the tepid liquid didn’t develop a ‘skin’ on the top, judging how much Maya had already had, then remembered she was holding the cup as girlfriend not doctor, so passed it across to the nurse. “One more go I think?” she asked the nurse quietly, getting a nod. “Bella?” Carina though quickly changed her mind, giving the cup back to the nurse and shaking her head, then directed all her attention to Maya. 

“Open your mouth…” she encouraged, frustrated that she was on the right side of the bed, which made it trickier to get in close to Maya, so she shot round the end of the bed, grabbing a pair of gloves and a cardboard disposable bowl just in case. Lowering the bed a little with the controls when she reached Maya’s side again, she leaned over, using her new technique of supporting herself by putting her left knee on the bed. “Try to relax bella…” encouraged Carina, slipping her right hand in behind her girlfriend’s neck, stroking in aimless patterns. “...and this is still good…” she whispered, not wanting Maya’s fear of doing the wrong thing and going backwards creating extra stress. “...close your mouth now…” she encouraged, hoping the trick had worked for her girlfriend’s system. “Better?” 

Maya nodded, and started to let her head drop back onto the pillow, trapping Carina’s hand behind her neck, though she still had enough room to give Maya’s neck a small, gentle scratch with a couple of fingertips.

“You’ve done really well Captain Bishop,” said the nurse from the end of the bed, her bright smile faltering as her patient opened one eye and rather impressively glared at her. “You managed twice as much as Dr Altman said was the amount that counted as a good result.” That, as Dr Altman’s note had predicted, seemed to earn her a reduction in the level of glare and a second eye opening. 

“Ah...” Maya quietly burped, but the whispered ‘perfecto’ encouraged her to just let the next one happen without fighting it so much.

“How are you feeling now?” asked Carina quietly, hoping that now the Maya had got through the first few moments after trying something in her stomach, she’d be feeling less strange.

“Ok in my stomach…” The first sensation had been a little surprising, and feeling like she’d needed to burp and worrying that would really, really hurt had sent her into a bit of a mini panic which… “...how did you know I thought I’d just given myself hiccups?”

“Ti amo,” said Carina simply, deciding to go for the romantic answer which was factually correct - she loved Maya and had paid attention to her love’s micro-expressions from the first moment she’d met her, captivated by how she gave away about how she was feeling if you just knew how to look. However, she’d also seen enough patients go through the surprise those first few sips could cause that she’d known what to look for. “Would you prefer to taste like peppermint now?”

“Do I have to swallow anything more?” Maya had never thought that her stomach could feel tired, but it was starting to feel exactly that after its first introduction to something new after the boring few days it had had.

“No, this is just a mouthwash, like when you brush your teeth. But it will help with the salty feeling.” 

“Please.” Maya was back to working her jaw like she was trying to moisten an overly dry mouth. “I don’t like salt.”

“Si, I know.” Carina kissed Maya’s forehead again, then carefully eased her hand from behind Maya’s neck and stood up, taking the not needed gloves and dish with her.

“When do I try that again?”

“The sipping?” Maya nodded. “Not for another four hours minimum…” The nurse looked at the time, thinking it was unlikely, given the notes and what she’d seen last night, that the Captain would be awake when that was going to happen. “...I can check if Dr Altman has made any specific instruction but otherwise it would be in the morning, and you should be able to have a bit more then too.” Clearly, from her expression, the nurse had just said the wrong thing. “...umm…”

“Carina?” Mason was quick to see that whatever was going on in Maya’s head on hearing that offer, it wasn’t translating into his sister staying in a good mood, and while he could still read his sister well enough to know when the ‘tick’ was starting, he didn’t have the confidence to try and help.

“Mmm?” Carina had been washing her hands while she listened to the conversation between the nurse and Maya, not wanting to make Maya feel she was unable to take the lead in her own treatment discussions, but clearly that had been not the best one to step back from slightly. “...ah, tomorrow morning, when you can do more sipping, si…” She calmly dried her hands, wanting to test to see if her at least rejoining the conversation and being calm about it was enough to have enough of an impact to help Maya. “...can you see if Dr Altman is happy for Maya to try the electrolytes fluid instead please?”

“That’s…” The nurse was about to say ‘not something we do’ but remembered who she was talking to and what she’d been asked - which wasn’t Dr DeLuca pulling rank, it was a genuine enquiry. “...sure. Is it something you’ve already mentioned to her or should I start at the beginning.”

“Ah, no, the beginning per favore.” Carina came back over to the end of the bed, seeing a slightly calmer looking Maya, pleased Mason had gone and sat down on the bed, his back to Carina and the nurse, and appeared to be telling her something that was holding most of her attention. “I did not think about it earlier…”

* * *

  
  


“It was that bad huh?” asked Mason, tucking his left foot in behind his right knee so he was a bit more comfortable as he sat turned towards his sister.

“Yeah.” Maya still looked towards Carina, but she was starting to relax again. “I want to cope but…” She looked at him, trying to think about why she found it so hard to get past the strange effect the taste was having on her, then it occurred to her he was probably the one person she didn’t have to explain what it was like. “...do you remember those drinks he’d make for me?”

“Oh, from the powders?” Mason pulled a face at the memory of the energy drinks Maya was always given when she got back from her early morning runs to have alongside whatever she was or wasn’t getting for breakfast, that she had to drink every last drop of. “Yeah. Do they even have stuff like that anymore?”

“Sort of.” Maya saw Carina and the nurse now looking over her chart together, with the nurse asking questions and making notes, which Maya took to be a further sign of everything going to be alright. Plus, she’d got  _ him _ out of her head as soon as she noticed that was part of the problem. So she looked at Mason and tried to come up with a better answer to his question. “I mean, they probably still exist but I don’t have them anymore. There’s plenty of pre-made sports and energy drinks now that do most of what that did, and it’s amazing what you can put in a smoothie.” She looked at him thoughtfully, finally properly registering that he wasn’t wearing scrubs anymore. “Do they fit alright?”

“Mmm?” It took him a moment to catch onto the change of subject, then looked down at the t-shirt and jeans he was now wearing, proof he’d investigated the bag that Carina had left him with when she’d gone with Andy and Robert to her office to eat their lunch. “Really well, thank you.” He looked back up at her. “I mean it May…” He didn’t really know what to say except, “...and I’m sorry…for all the anger and…”

“It’s ok.” He looked at her in disbelief, bringing a smile to her face in spite of everything. “It’s nothing you need to apologise to me for.”

“But…”

“Really. We’re…” Maya took a careful, calming breath and stretched her left arm out so she could reach his hand, which she squeezed, knowing no matter what she must not try to hug him again. “...has Carina told you how I nearly screwed everything up?”

“Umm, maybe?” He saw her knowing look, prompting him to continue without a verbal prompt. “She told me about how you were rude and cold right at the beginning…” He had a question, but wasn’t sure if now was the right time to ask it.

“You’ll either get the truth, told to wait until Carina can help me answer, or I’ll tell you it’s not up to me, it’s up to Carina whether you know.”

“You don’t know what I was going to ask.”

“Doesn’t matter. Those will always be the options…oh, but there might be times when I can’t answer you right when you want to know.” She saw his instinctive look of skepticism. “If I’m in the middle of a fire it might be difficult for me to give you an answer on the spot.”

“Ah. How would I ask you questions when you’re at a fire?” It was sooner than he felt he was ready for, but he’d promised himself he’d at least try and take the first opportunity...which this sort of was.

“Ask your earlier question first Mas.”

“Oh, umm, is that why she texted you when she went for a walk the day Mom turned up? To...not surprise you?”

“I don’t think so, but you’d have to ask Carina to be sure.”

“Ask me what? And here…” She held out the small plastic cup with a pale green liquid in it. “...it is a hospital cup but your mouthwash from home.” She smiled as Mason stretched across the bed, Carina having come up Maya’s right side, and took the cup from her, then passed it to Maya so there was no risk of her stretching for it. “...Mason, you’re in charge of this,” added Carina, giving him a deep sided cardboard dish for Maya to spit the mouthwash into.

“The lobby cart is closing in a few minutes…” She saw Maya’s frown, understanding her surprise. “Si, it is usually all night, but this is a holiday and a weekend so it is closing. Are you ok if I rush and get a coffee before it closes?” She saw Maya’s smile and nod, not expecting Maya to object to the coffee run. “ Mason would you like a proper coffee? Or a cake?” At his shaken head, she leaned over, kissed Maya’s forehead. “I have my phone, but I will be coming straight back. And tomorrow you can try the sports drink type one instead.” She knew she didn’t need to warn Maya that her going for a coffee did carry a slight risk she could be pulled into an emergency, which was why she’d mentioned her phone. “And then I will answer all your questions si?”

Maya waved with her left hand, enjoying the strong flavour of the mouthwash too much to spit it out just to say a brief bye to her girlfriend, though she didn’t resume her swilling until after she’d watched her girlfriend leave the room.

“I’d say something about you checking your girlfriend’s ass out being sweet, but I don’t think you’re as easy to tease about that stuff now as you were…” he mused, thinking back to the quick fire teasing he’d seen her be a part of when the doctors were around. “...hey!” He turned back to look at her, rubbing his knee where she’d flicked him hard with her finger, only to see her pointing two fingers vaguely in the direction of her face, then his, then back to hers. “It’s really hard to take your death stare seriously when you’ve got your mouth full of mouthwash, but I take the hint and promise I wasn’t checking your girlfriend out.” That got him a nod, then another flick to the knee. “What did I…” She pointed at the cardboard dish he had and gestured to her mouth. “...oh, right...but if it spills, it’s your fault right?”

Fortunately, there was no spill, and a couple of minutes later, he was sat back on the bed, the dish over in the basin and Maya feeling much happier, decided she could probably answer his question herself.

“I think that day, the one Mom interrupted us, Carina texted because there were so many people coming to the Station to interview me around then…”

“Like TV interviewer people?”

“Like can they fire me for what happened to Andy’s Dad sort of people...” Maya’s thoughtful look changed to a wry grin. “...Dixon had decided to do the investigation into me himself, which just meant it took a week longer.”

“Because he’s a corrupt little shit?”

“That too...more like he was so determined to make me…” She trailed off, frowning at the directions her thoughts took.

“What? Are you ok? Did I…” He looked at her worried, hoping he hadn’t done something to hurt her recovery or just hurt her.

“I’m fine Mas, you just made me think of something…” She looked at him with a thoughtful smile. “He was so determined to get me to break, kept throwing everything he could think of at me…”

“I’ve seen some of his press conferences, he looks amateur league…” The ‘compared to  _ him _ ’ hung loudly in the air, unspoken, between them.

“Yeah, he really was...but now I think about it, it was like he wanted me to admit I had been at fault.” She saw Mason’s look of horror. “I’m not saying I was, that’s not what I mean...if it was my fault I would have said as much and would have been right to be fired, but it wasn’t. At the time I thought he was pushing me because he hated me and he wanted to fire me, to humiliate me so quickly after I’d been promoted…”

“He didn’t want to fire you.” Mason smirked at her look of surprise. “Yeah, I read the local papers as well as used them for...other stuff. Not much else in them some days, apart from him and the Mayor. My guess? He wanted you to owe him for not firing you, so he could put you in his pocket with everyone else.”

“Everyone else?”

“Yeah…” He reached behind him and pulled something out of the back pocket of his new jeans. “...I found this in the bag too, and the cable to charge it.” He tapped the screen and the smartphone handset that, up until six months ago when she’d got a new one, had been Maya’s, came to life. “Then when I went to try the measure with Andy and Robert, they helped me to set it up on the hospital wifi...they worked out you’d set me up with an email account and some credit…” He cleared his throat, returning to the reason he’d got the phone out. “...and then we looked at this…” He opened the local paper’s website where there was a whole ‘special news’ section, passing it to her. He’d actually found he was missing seeing what was happening in the newspaper, his few days in the hospital meaning he’d not seen one for a while. “...umm, you’ve got one right? A phone?” 

“Yeah…” Maya scrolled down the screen, her eyes widening when she took in the extent of the fall-out that had happened in...she looked at the clock in the corner of the screen...twenty-four hours since she’d said her piece. “...it’s...around here somewhere. My backpack maybe?”

“Do you want me to have a look?” He didn’t want to go through her stuff, but equally, now she’d remembered there was a world beyond this room she’d probably want to look at what was happening in it.

“Please...umm, I could send myself an email? See if you hear the ping?”

“Saves me having to ask for your address.” There, he’d done it….but after a pause he decided to go all the way, his earlier question about asking how he’d ask her questions at a fire a weaker attempt at getting around to this topic. “Actually, if you know your own number you could call it, save me having to ask you for that too?” She looked at the top corner of the screen, seeing the little cellular network symbol. “I found the sim card in the bag too, the hospital shop sold the right sort of credit…” He looked at her with a fairly good poker face, wondering if this was going to push things a bit far, but deciding he had to stop worrying that everything he said or did might turn into her kicking him out...this was them, now, without  _ him.  _ “Apparently you buy a lot of coffee for your team.”

“I do?” Maya’s brain caught up too late, but fortunately he seemed amused rather than angry. “Robert gave it away?”

“It...I might have believed it if Andy tried a second time, but he was really slow to take the hint from her when she started talking about how you’d got coffee after his first call on Tuesday.”

“Oh.” That was strange, Robert Sullivan basically lived behind a poker face, except when his wife was around, so how… ”Ah. In his defence, his first call on Tuesday was the one that ended up with me like this - she forgot she was on engine with me and he was on Ladder with Jack.” Maya dialed her number, and they both waited, listening carefully in the hope Maya’s phone was still somewhat charged and hopefully not on silent. “They’re married, can’t work on the same unit, first call was...” Maya thought back, smiling. “Yeah, dumpster fire in the alley behind the whole foods place over on…” She couldn’t remember the name of the street…”

“There…” Mason stood up and spun round, hearing a faint buzzing coming from...he opened the bedside unit and laughed.

“What?” asked Maya, turning her head, finding having her right arm up in the sling support made it easier for her to remember not to try and twist.

“Does Andy know your lock code?” he asked, picking the phone up from where it sat neatly on the top shelf and showed his sister the screen, which just went dark. “Dial it again.”

“Ok…” Maya did, and they both watched the screen on her phone. “...oh.” Maya looked from the screen to her brother, worried in case he was upset, but his grin told her a different story. “You’re ok with this? I mean…” She let him take his phone from her hand, then felt him put hers in it. “...I’ve had that bag since I saw you that morning, with Ryan, er Officer Tanner?”

“At the police station? I was…” He was embarrassed now for how he’d behaved then, half expecting that the moment he refused to speak to her the Officer would have turned around and told him he was being charged. It was exactly what Lane would have done. “...that was ages ago. And this is…” He held up his phone, recognising its newness relative to back then, understanding that she must have been updating the contents of the bag over the intervening months and years, meaning she’d been thinking about how to help him all that time, and not just having a guilt driven reaction when she saw him.

“It’s fine, doesn’t matter.” Maya put her phone carefully on the bed next to her, only wanting to make sure she didn’t instinctively put it in her lap and knock her stitches somewhere. “None of it matters now, but you…” She wished Carina was here, she helped her find the words, or at least helped her recover from using the wrong ones, but kept going. “...you know about the apartment? Carina told you?” He nodded, not quite smiling, but looking thoughtful, not mad with her, so she kept going, hoping that was a good sign. “So hopefully you believe that I mean it when I say there’s always a place for you in my, our life whenever you want it…but that what I want more than anything is for you to do what you want your life to be...and if that’s not got me, er us in it much…” Maya swallowed thickly, determined not to look away from him despite her eyes watering. “...that’s not something I’ll fight you about.” It would hurt like hell, more than the bullets had done, but she wouldn’t fight him to live a life he didn’t want to have.

“And if I want to stay?” He nodded to her phone. “If I want to be ‘Artist in Residence’...” That was what had made him laugh, seeing what Andy had loaded his new cell phone number as into Maya’s phone, along with a picture Andy must have taken of him at some point, head down, sat on one of the benches in the lobby by ‘his’ wall, drawing in the notebook she’d bought him.

“Then I’ve only got one question for you...” said Maya, her eyes watering but whether it was from trying not to laugh or sob she wasn’t sure.

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind sharing the apartment with two puppies that will probably chew your shoes and be chaotic and messy? And  _ promise  _ not to let them get paint everywhere, especially on Carina’s really nice expensive Italian clothes?”

“Will you let me sit on the couch without pants?” His face nearly split in two with the size of his grin as he asked the question, enjoying teasing her.

“Hell no.” Maya wanted to laugh - despite everything, he was still her little brother, but was having to work really hard to not, knowing it would end badly if she did.

“Think we can get Carina to help us seal the deal with a hug?” Her reaction to his teasing had been instinctive and perfect, she was still his big sister. “Because I’d like that a lot.”

“You know we’ll fight at times?” cautioned Maya, squeezing his hand tight when he reached for it.

“That’s what will make it real not a movie.”

“Who said that?” It didn’t sound like him, but it sounded smart.

“Andrew. Said he knew a thing or two about getting your big sister back...I uh, spent some time with him before I could come see you.” He looked at the taped gauze on the back of his hand, realising she’d never commented on it, finding he wanted her to know. “I...looked like I’d been sleeping under the freeway, and smelled like it too I guess. There was no way I was getting in here which is why the whole cartoon fire engine boxers steal, uh, borrow an Aid Car thing happened...didn’t know your Aid Cars had razors in them…”

“Worse case scenario the patient’s like a gorilla....” Maya’s face showed what she thought of the very hairy male body, making him chuckle, glad she was overlooking their little Aid Car adventure.

“I wasn’t that bad, but it and some wipes and a couple of bottles of water chucked over me got me looking more like someone Andy and Vic decided would pass for a firefighter and no one would comment on the smell.”

“We do get away with a lot, fires are not clean…” agreed Maya, making another mental note that she owed her team big time for intercepting him like they had.

“Andrew took Travis and me into a locker room and stuck me under the shower while he went to find the scrub things...I like him.”

“Andrew?”

“Travis. Not like that.” He rolled his eyes at her reaction, amused. “He was just...calm? I’m not saying the others weren’t, they’re, you’re all firefighters and doctors but…”

“I know what you mean. Unlike me he’s alright being still.”

“You’re doing really good at the being still thing...umm, so Andrew had to go do surgery but when I was in the scrubs and…” He picked up his foot from the floor to show her the shoes he had no idea where they’d come from, but compared to the ones he’d been wearing they were pristine. “...apparently looked like ‘just another intern’ Travis and Andy took me to this big room, it was like someone’s big office or conference room or something, not a hospital space you know?”

“Did it have carpet? I never think about hospitals not having carpet until I’m in Carina’s office and it’s got carpet and...”

“Yeah...guess that was my first clue you weren’t just another firefighter to them. Andy had shown me a picture of Carina on her phone, told me who she was to you so I knew before I saw her…” His eyes watered and he swallowed, trying to push through the words, wanting his sister to know how amazing her girlfriend and friends were. “...and it was...have they told you about what it was like? While you were in surgery?”

“A bit...Robert’s face is a slight clue I think but he said he got it stopping a fight?”

“I’ve never seen so many firefighters, they were everywhere and lots of them were angry you were here, and some cops turned up apparently, talking about you, calling you ‘evidence’ which...I think that was when Dr Bailey stopped anyone except your team being able to move about without a patient or staff....but in that room, your team were...so still, it was...it was like walking into another universe, like I was an alien intruder they didn’t know what to do about…” He sniffed, getting the lump in his throat to shift. “...someone must have made a noise or something, because Carina looked up and she just stood up and...she just squeezed my hand and told me you were strong and brave and everyone in the room loved you and that my place was in the room with them.” He dragged the cuff of the Grey Sloan hoodie across his face. “And just like that there was an empty seat next to her and we sat down...Dr Bailey came in and would tell Carina stuff but I don’t think she was really listening. She’d also tell her husband, and then for a while he’d be quietly talking, so everyone understood how you were doing. After a while Andrew came in, gave me this and...” Mason closed his eyes for a moment, picturing the room. “...yeah, Travis had moved so he could sit on the other side of Carina. And we waited….and then Dr Altman came and Carina went to see you and Andrew told us you were going to be ok.”

“Andrew told you?”

“Yeah…” Mason smiled. “...I think Dr Altman meant to tell Carina, then tell us all, but Carina wanted to go straight away to see you. She said something super fast to Andrew in Italian and left...he told us you were fine, that you no longer had your appendix but otherwise everything was good and she’d told him to tell us because otherwise she’d cry...they had a weird childhood too, didn’t they?”

“Who, Carina?” Maya’s head was spinning with all of this new information, having forgotten that he would always be able to give the most detailed explanation because, despite knowing no one, he saw everything, like he always had.

“And Andrew, yeah. I asked why they sounded so different and he told me about growing up here while she was there....he also gave me the shovel talk.”

“He did what?” The unexpected twist had Maya almost start to climb out of the bed, wanting to go yell at Andrew for pressuring her brother.

“Don’t be mad, it was good...he, uh...just told me that he’d learned the hard way what it was like to forget that big sisters love their little brothers no matter what. And that because life wasn’t a movie, fights happened and were ok...and then he...it doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me? Please Mas?” asked Maya gently, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb as she gave him their secret squeezy code like she’d do when he got stuck part way through telling her about his nightmare. “I know he took a long while to like me…” she added, wondering if that was part of what was holding him back.

“He said as much...at least, he said he couldn’t not like you now because of how happy you made Carina, but he didn’t know if he’d have liked you without that connection...but that was enough for him to know, little brother to little brother, that if I wasn’t going to stick around I should leave now I knew you were going to be ok. Then his pager went off.”

“I’ll…”

“Say nothing May, he was right.” He looked at her thoughtfully, studying her like he was about to draw her. “He was right. I knew my big sister was going to recover and be Captain Maya Bishop again, and if that was all that had made me come here...that was all I thought had made me come here, but I couldn’t...I didn’t want to not see you…” He let go of her hand, worrying her until she saw he just wanted to take the hoodie off and put it on the chair before he sat down on the bed - they’d had a comedy moment earlier when he’d sat down on the bed and all his pens had fallen out of the pocket, just missing landing on her but he’d been worried ever since about a pen stabbing her incisions. “...anyway…” He sat down and took hold of her hand again, this time his other hand, the one with the dressing on it. “A couple of hours later and Dr Bailey comes back and says Carina wants Andy and me to go visit you now you were here, but when it was my turn Carina wouldn’t let me near you.”

“Oh?” Maya’s first instinct might have been sharper had it not been Carina, who knew more about Maya’s deep hope that one day he’d come back into her life, and who knew more about Maya’s demons and fears than even Maya somehow. “Your hand?” She had carefully resisted any attempt to ask him about it, wanting to try and demonstrate she really meant what she was saying about him having the space to live his life on his terms, but hopefully terms that managed to include her.

“Andrew stopped by and I think they had a bit of a row, Italian mostly, but there were bits in English that I could follow. She’s really smart.”

“She is.” Maya had no idea what else to say, and knew she was probably grinning like a lovesick fool, but he was right, Carina was really smart.

“She was cross Andrew had forgotten he was a doctor and not offered to clean my hand, because now he was forcing her to be the doctor and tell him to clean my hand...she, uh, didn’t want me giving you an infection or something, which was fair.”

“Is that what’s in the fridge then?” Maya had taken a couple of days to notice, but had finally worked out there was a little fridge in the far corner of the room, and every so often Mason would take something from it, sometimes with a little prompt from Carina.

“Antibiotics… Andrew cleaned up my hands like Carina asked him to, but we started talking and he looked at my thigh...we kinda match at the moment.” He drew an outline on his left thigh, not too far away relatively speaking to where he knew his sister’s injury was. “Amelia said I didn’t need to be afraid of tablets, and I get that things like vitamin pills would be a good idea if they’re the right ones, but I’d already asked him if I could have them like they did when we were kids…” He saw his sister’s confusion at this. “...I didn’t want you seeing me taking a pill and worrying. I didn’t know how dopey you’d be. I’ve only got two more days of banana syrup.”

“I thought it was strawberry…”

“That’s apparently the other option, but this one’s banana flavoured. I’d offer you a taste, but I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“I hated the banana one...your leg ok?”

“Yeah, Andrew just wanted to make sure it wasn’t healing slowly because of an infection. Carina and he both think it’s doing much better now...they, uh, have been changing the dressing when you’ve been asleep.”

“Sneaky…” teased Maya, amazed and delighted that he seemed to be getting on with Andrew DeLuca, knowing that would be Carina’s great concern and glad Mason’s return hadn’t created conflict. “...I’m glad you and he have had a chance to talk a bit. He is...everything to Carina.”

“Yeah, he’s decent. And agrees with me.”

“About what?”

“Baciami means look out the window…”

“Brat.” Maya nodded to his new phone. “Do you want to add Carina’s email and number then? And I’m guessing you’ve got Andy’s?”

“Yeah...Carina’s would be good, if you think she wouldn’t mind?”

“Pass me my phone...and she’d probably make me spend a night on the couch for even letting you think that…”

“The couch you’d be wearing pants to sit on?”

“That’s a rule for you, not me...no naked man parts on our couch.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, thinking better of asking her if the ‘must wear pants’ rule applied to Carina.

He wasn’t sure looking out the window would help him with  _ those  _ mental images...and, he realised with genuine happiness, he’d find out for himself when Maya was allowed home from hospital.

Home.

That sounded pretty awesome.

“May?”

“Hmm?”

“Love you back sis.”


	26. Chapter 26

The message alert ping on Maya’s phone interrupted the first comfortable silence between the Bishop siblings in years, their quiet conversation about the apartment and its neighbourhood interspersed with random tangents finished for the moment..

“Oh…”

“Everything ok?”

“Carina’s been pulled into the Pit....that’s…”

“The Emergency Room, yeah, Dr Bailey and the others told me about it.” Mason looked up from his sketch pad, another thing he’d found in the bag, having retreated to the chair, the temptation to hug his sister after they’d finally, openly admitted to the other that they both really wanted him to stay with her, too strong for him to be prepared to risk staying sitting on the bed once they’d finished their heavier talk and started teasing each other. “When Bailey and I went and looked at the wall last night, she said we could stay there talking, or I could go watch her terrorise some interns in the Pit.”

“She likes you.” Maya might have laughed at his surprise. “I mean, you didn’t think she just lets anyone paint a wall in her hospital do you?”

“Yeah, Amelia kinda warned me that was a big deal. And apparently I’m supposed to be the interns’ favourite person.”

“You are? Do they know you?”

“Nope, but Amelia hung out with me rather than terrorise them in the Pit this morning…” He picked up his small notebook, which he’d put on the bedside unit when he’d started drawing in the sketchbook and turned to the page he’d been looking at earlier when Carina had told him his hands were ‘world class’. “...there.” He showed her the sketches he’d drawn afterwards, of Teddy, Carina and Amelia.

“They’re ripping into each other aren’t they?” asked Maya, recognising the energy he’d captured, impressed. “When was this?”

“You’d just…” Mason thought back to what he remembered happening then, and what that translated into for his sister. “I think you were still in your surgery with Dr Bailey this morning. Dr Altman came to get Carina and tell us both you were good...except I think they were talking about you then...and not as the person she’d just operated on.” 

“Oh? And you can call her Teddy…” She saw his nose twitch, having had a not dissimilar reaction when she’d first discovered the surgeon’s preferred name - somehow ‘Teddy’ didn’t scream world class female cardiothoracic surgeon and extremely badass Army Major. “Yeah, don’t call her Theodora.”

“That... really doesn’t suit her…” He’d not been sure ‘Teddy’ suited her either, but it did seem to be a better fit. “...I was still getting my breath back, they seemed to be catching her up as their friend before she became your surgeon if that makes sense?”

“Yeah...what had you been doing to lose your breath?”

“Choking...Amelia had told me terrorising interns was a guilty pleasure not a hobby, and Carina disagreed. That was when they were catching Teddy up.” He saw Maya about to ask the inevitable question. “And no, you can get Carina to tell you what her answer was as I’m not risking making you hurt your ribs.”

“Oh, I know what her answer was.” Unfortunately of late there hadn’t been many opportunities for lunchtime sex with Maya’s ‘Captain’ workload invariably see her running well into the next shift rather than going home with the rest of A shift, and Carina had also struggled to get a lunchbreak more often than not. Which was why, sadly, lunchtime ‘anything’ was increasingly becoming the guilty pleasure for them. “I’d been going to ask you if she’d told you and Amelia, but you answered that question for me.”

“I like her.”

“Carina? ”

“Yeah, which I know isn’t news to you because you love her and I’m sure I’ll be a bratty little brother at some point and Andrew and I will be in your combined bad books...but I like that she makes you be silly and fun sometimes.” He took the notebook back, putting it down on the bedside unit again. “I like Amelia and Teddy too, and Andy and the others.”

“Andy showed me the picture you drew, of the team...”

“Did you mind?”

“Mind? Why would I mind? It was brilliant...you’re brilliant, always have been.”

“You missed one by the way.”

“Missed one what?” asked Maya, picking up her phone again and rereading the message Carina had sent, trying to guess from it how long she might be, not because she was uncomfortable in her brother’s company, but she was getting tired again, and wasn’t sure whether this was just ‘a busy hour, need a nap’ sort of tired or a ‘see you tomorrow, sleep through the regular checks’ sort of tired.

“Painting. Vic showed me the photos she’s got.”

“I did? Where? And when?”

“When we were looking at the wall with Dr Bailey first off. I like her, she was the one that made Travis give me his clothes…” He was still very unsure of the big guy with Miller on his shirt, who seemed to be quite angry with a lot of people a lot of the time, but the ones with Warren and Gibson on their shirts were familiar faces that he’d seen when they brought in supplies to the camps. But it was a lot of people to get straight in his head and he wasn’t there yet. “Down by the water...by the fireboat station actually.” He opened google maps, having discovered how people put their photographs with locations, meaning he could find a picture someone had taken of it. “Here…” He held out his phone, which felt super weird even just thinking that, for her to see.

“Is that...the same bird behind the fireboat? That you did that night…”

“You gave me the paint and soup? Yeah…it’s...”

“Very good,” said Maya simply, sensing there was some sort of story behind it that he wanted to tell her, but wasn’t quite ready to yet, so she tried to reassure him that it was fine - they didn’t need to go over everything all at once. “You must show that to Chief Sato, he’d like to know the story behind the fireboat.”

“Your boss? Why? Because he knew about me from the court stuff?” A punchy jab, his own ‘tick’ starting, which he hated feeling, surprised where it had come from but he couldn’t stop it.

“He knows your name and you’re my brother. The legal documents had your date of birth too, but that’s it.” It was testament to all Maya’s hard work on trying to manage her own punchiness that she managed to avoid his jab with the conversational equivalent of a weave.

“But Carina said he was there…”

“He was, he submitted the Department’s petition and that should have been the end of it in a couple of minutes, except I had also submitted the other stuff...which was…” Maya looked down at her shirt front, moving the fabric a bit with her left hand, then looked at her right hand to check her fingers were still pink and could wiggle. “...it was a public session so the Judge got it as a sealed petition, because I couldn’t find you and Mom was...I’m not sure, visiting a school-friend out-of-state I think. Anyway…” Maya forced herself to concentrate, feeling the tiredness creeping up on her, which was feeling strange given how she was when she was on shift - as strange as her team had found it to see her become sleepy, Maya was finding it equally strange to keep feeling sleepy. “...that sort of made a mess of things and the court was cleared of everyone except the lawyers and me and Carina, because she was part of the request.”

“Is that when he lost it?” Seeing Maya’s look of surprise, Mason filled in a bit of what he knew from when Carina had told him about it yesterday. “She said that you got the restraining orders partly from what you submitted, partly from what the people at the fire scene had said and also what the Judge heard and saw him say to you both.”

“Yeah, that’s when he lost it.” Maya looked unusually amused for such a stressful memory. “I’d cut my hair, but Carina wore her hair in a ponytail that day, really confused me when I saw her outside the courthouse...I’d come straight from shift. She looked amazing with it like that but also...I’d never seen her wear her hair like that before outside of the apartment or gym. Turns out she’s really, really smart…” She knew she was repeating herself but she didn’t care.

“D’uh, she’s…” Mason decided to not say what he’d been planning on saying, and just went with, “...a doctor,” and grinned when he got an eye roll from her for being bratty.

“Yeah, anyway, as he’s walking past, everyone else except the lawyers and the Judge already gone, he’s being escorted by these court security types because he’d not been willing to leave and he starts taunting me, claiming I’m hiding behind people again, and she just tells me to go up to the Judge, and steps back to let me go past, then goes to follow me and…”

“He didn’t.”

Maya smirks and nods.

“No...you’re…” He shook his head, disbelief being canceled out with knowing this wasn’t something she’d tease about. “...not lying, he really grabbed her ponytail?”

“Yup, launched into a shouting rant and wouldn’t let go.”

“Did he hurt her?”

“No, she’d been sort of expecting it, so he didn’t jolt her, and when I heard her make a noise I went to help her and the security guys were pulling him back. She was a bit shaken, but I think more that he actually believed he could go for her, rather than the actual pull. The judge was decent, said he’d read what I’d put together in his rooms while we stayed in the courtroom to get over the shock - we couldn’t leave as easily as he and the lawyers could, not without knowing what the ruling was….the minute the judge had left, she pulled the ponytail out and left her hair down like she normally has it…anyway, the judge came back about half an hour later, asked me some questions, dealt with the lawyers arguing about some stuff that required input from me, then got everyone else back in. That’s when the Chief was told the Department petition was granted, and then heard the judge grant my petition too, so the Chief heard your name read out as part of that.”

“How did you leave?”

“Umm, we got a cab.” His question puzzled her.

“No, I mean, if he’s just been told he can’t be near you, but you’re all in the same room when he’s told that…”

“Oh, right. It’s really boring - he was taken by security to another room to have it all explained to him in detail in front of a court appointed witness for you, Mom and Carina, and the Department’s lawyer for me...that means he’s got no excuse not to comply with it, and we left. I think, by the time he could leave, I was asleep on the couch in Carina’s office and she was in surgery…” She saw his eyes widen, realising her mistake, “...as the surgeon Mas, not the patient.”

“Si, I was doing a prolapse surgery.” Carina paused at the end of the bed, taking in Mason now sitting in the chair and how Maya was starting to look sleepy. She’d arrived in time to hear the end of Maya’s explanation of the Judge reading out their decision, but since neither of them had noticed her arrival, she’d stayed quietly in the corner of the room, curious to see how they were doing at talking to each other.

“Hi…” Maya smiled, happy to see Carina was back in time. “...before you worry, he’s sitting there so we don’t get in trouble having a hug. Can you hug him for me please?”

“Si!” Carina walked over to Mason as he stood up. “Am I allowed to know what this hug is for or is it a secret?”

“We talked and if you are sure you don’t mind Carina, I’d like to come stay, umm, like move in sort of stay but I don’t exactly have stuff to move, with you?”

“Si? Bene…” She pulled Mason into a hug, kissing his cheek. “...that is from me fratellino…” she said, letting go slightly. “...and this is from Maya…” She hugged him again, squeezing tightly this time, feeling him returning the squeeze. After a long moment, they let go of each other.

“How’s the patient?”

“Patient? Oh, si…” Carina leaned in, supporting herself again with her knee on the bed, and kissed Maya tenderly but briefly on the lips, then sat down on the edge of the bed, mimicking how Mason had sat earlier. “...not my patient.”

“But I thought…”

“Scusa...they are my patient because I am their doctor but they are here now because they were in a small traffic accident and were brought in to be checked. They are not very good with their words and it is harder when they are frightened, so when my name was on the medication your firefighters found with them in the car, they mentioned it when they arrived. Jackson Avery is their doctor, but since he knew I was in the lobby getting a coffee because we were speaking when he was paged, he asked if I would be able to spare a few minutes to explain what I knew of the patient to him that could help, and introduce him to them to help make it a bit easier for them.”

“Could you help?” asked Mason, “and when you say ‘your firefighters you mean from Maya’s station?”

“Si, 19. I went and said hello to my patient, recognised it was Finch who had brought them in and was able to ask him to see if they’d found my patient’s assistance dog at the traffic accident, then spent a few minutes with them until dog turned up, by which time they’d got used to Jackson too.”

“Why hadn’t this Finch brought the dog in with your patient?” 

“Because the dog wasn’t wearing its vest and my patient had her husband with her. But he also needed treatment and could not be in two places at once. But the, oh, I do not know his name...is afraid of me I think? He was already on his way in with the dog by the time I was asking Finch about it, as they had found the vest in the car and the other passenger confirmed the dog was my patient’s dog, not theirs.” Carina saw he was about to ask her another question. “More than that I cannot tell you because I do not know anything more about the accident and I cannot tell you anything about my patient.”

“I get that...I was going to ask who Finch was and how can someone be afraid of you?”

“Ah, scusa. Finch is one of Maya’s firefighters on the B Shift,” explained Carina, stroking Maya’s hand, seeing she was getting sleepy again. “...and I have no idea why...mamma mia, what is his name?”

“King. He’s called Ryan King, but he got the nickname ‘Elmo’ as a cadet.”

“Really? Isn’t that a character on Sesame Street?” Mason was amused at the idea of a firefighter named after a Muppet.

“Yeah…” Maya felt a yawn coming. “...he’s... he told me you were his sister’s OB when he transferred to the station...his nephew’s about six months old I think....”

“King…” Carina thought for a moment. “Is the sister also…”

“...a natural redhead? Apparently...” Maya’s smirk was a sleepy one.

“Ah, si!” Carina grinned. “Now I understand why he avoids me...but the Elmo?”

"No clue… Why's he avoiding you? Is there…" A yawn interrupted Maya’s concern.

"A problem? No, he is embarrassed because he fainted on me and his sister made me treat him instead of her." 

"When?" 

"Ah… About… Si, two contractions before she crowned. Oh, but the delivery it was...August I think?" 

"Do I want to know what that is?" 

"In time or medicine?" asked Maya, wondering if he'd properly grasped what sort of medicine Carina did. 

"Umm both?" 

"Time it is hard to say but only a couple of minutes. Medically? It is the moment that the baby's head is visible in the vagina," explained Carina with her usual matter-of-factness about her specialism. 

"And that's the..." Mason gestured towards his crotch, but was a bit slow in finding his words.

"Is this the moment I find out if my baby brother is a virgin?" mumbled Maya, closing her eyes though it was fifty fifty as to whether she was trying to avoid laughing or failing to stay awake. 

"No, this is the moment you find out that he skipped the class at school where boys are taught about the female anatomy,” sighed Carina, finding this was a common occurrence for the male partners of her patients. 

"I think it was the teacher who skipped it actually… and Zoe Dengowl." 

"I know that name…." mumbled Maya, opening her eyes and glaring at him. ".... why do I know that name..." 

"Fake breasts and bad hair dye person?" asked Carina, having helped herself to Maya's phone and googled the name as soon as he’d said it. 

"...your 9th grade crush? Tell me you didn't have sex with her in 9th grade?" Maya’s memory had turned up the answer and she was slightly wishing it hadn’t.

"I did not have sex with her in 9th grade.” He waited until Maya had opened her eyes again and was looking in his direction. “It was Junior year after Bobby Mundez dumped her for the Cheerleading Captain….wait, what did you say about fake breasts?"

“Un tale ragazzo…” sighed Carina, showing him the picture she’d found of the reporter who asked Maya the question about her and Carina. “...that is who asked Maya the question about us, she is…your type?”

He blushed bright red and stammered.

“Oh Mas…” grinned Maya, looking at the photo Carina had found, amused by her brother’s discomfort despite her exhaustion. “...she’s only just getting started with you…”


	27. Chapter 27

“Bene.” Carina moved the sheet which was gathered at Maya’s waist so it was once again covering her right hip and thigh. “How does that feel now?”

“Amazing.” Once more lying down, the bed absolutely flat so all Maya could see was the ceiling, Maya sounded genuinely bright and happy. “You’re amazing.”

“Grazie, but I am just…” Carina shrugged as she pulled her gloves off and put them on the trolley with the rest of the bed bath paraphernalia, heading over to the basin on the far wall where she gave her hands a quick, but thorough wash.

“...my amazingly wonderful and patient girlfriend with magic hands…”

“...er, I’ll come back.”

“Andy!” Carina looked over to the bed, “Maya? Andy’s here to say hello…” She saw Maya’s left hand rise and give a thumbs up sign. “...go say hi, she’s in the very flat position.”

“Oh, ok…” Andy held out a bag as she walked around the end of the bed, putting the bag on the over-bed table that no longer fit over the bed because of Bailey’s ‘big bed’ idea. “...that’s for you.”

“Si? Grazie.” 

Carina could tell from the smell it was some sort of dinner for her, which was excellent because she’d completely forgotten about what she would do for food tonight. Their usual ability as Attendings to rely on the hospital canteen was less appealing when she wasn’t in the hospital rushing from patient to patient and it was a very small range of food because of it being a holiday.

“Did Mason…”

“Robert’s got some for him too...hi.” Andy leaned all the way over the bed so she appeared in her friend’s eye line. “Give me a sec.”

“Hi, sure…” Maya appreciated Andy’s understanding about how frustrating it was to hear voices in the room but not be able to see people, so it was nice to see her face and say hello. “...cute hat.”

“A Christmas present from my nieces...we were there for dinner and they gave it to me.” Andy pulled off the rather brightly coloured, chunky wool bobble hat, with a very glittery, clashing pom pom on its top. “...Rosalita is only four, but she made the pom pom and Natalia agreed it could go on the hat.”

“Nieces? But I thought Michelle…”

“...is our age and she and her girlfriend don’t have kids?” Andy unwound her scarf and dumped it on the chair with her hat and gloves. “So technically they’re like my second cousins or something, but to them I’m Tia Andy and Robert’s Tio Bobby, so…” She shrugged as she pulled off her coat, aware Carina had sat down on the end of the bed, letting Maya’ know she was there by giving her left foot a rub, then started investigating her bag of dinner, but also listening. “...Sandra married Johnny, who is the oldest of seven.” She saw both Carina and Maya’s eyes widen at that. “Yeah, and there’s like a twenty year age gap between him and his youngest brother, another Andy. Rosalita and Natalia, who’s eight, are his two kids. I don’t think I’d really register with them if I wasn’t another Andy...they find it funny to yell ‘Andy’ and then say ‘no Papi, Tia Andy.”

“Si, that is like my family in Sicily….there are…” Carina took her first bite of the food Andy had brought her and started to do a mental inventory while she chewed. “...I think twelve people who call me Zia Carina, but I am technically Aunt to none of them, but I am some sort of cousin removed but that is a mouthful. And thank you for the dinner, I had forgotten about that.”

“No problem.” Andy, no longer bundled up for the cold outside, adopted Carina’s tactic of supporting herself on the bed with one knee so she could lean over into Maya’s eye line without worrying about falling onto her. “Care package from Tia Sandra for Carina who, once I’d explained you wouldn’t be able to do anything with a large plate of food, not even if she avoided the spicy stuff, sends you her love.”

“Oh, thanks…” Maya had met Andy’s Aunt a couple of times at the Station, and she and Carina had gone with Andy to one of the weekend barbeques and met her husband, Andy’s cousin Michelle and Michelle’s girlfriend...who much to Carina and Michelle’s amusement, had already known Maya for two, energetic and satisfying Wednesdays some years earlier, long before either she’d met Michelle or Carina had met Maya….or even been in Seattle. “...let me guess, Robert’s disappointed you didn’t take it anyway for him to eat as seconds?” Maya might not be able to eat right now, nor be persuaded anyone could cook better than Carina, but she was prepared to admit that Andy’s Aunt Sandra was pretty handy in the kitchen and had never seen Robert Sullivan eat so much of someone else’s cooking, though Carina’s was a very close second.

“Thirds, and yes...and Michelle wants to talk to you about Pride at some point.”

“Huh?”

“Eh?”

“Sorry, that came out wrong.” Andy smiled at Maya to try and stop her panicking, then straightened back up, leaving her eye line for a moment so she could order her thoughts and stretch, not finding the leaning in as easy as Carina made it look, not knowing that the bed was set for Carina’s rather longer legs. She also took the chance to turn to Carina and mouth ‘sorry, but it’s ok, promise’ to try and reassure her friend and at least give her the confidence to resume eating her surprise dinner. Leaning back in so Maya could see her again, Andy tried again. “So, I’ll start at the beginning. Michelle’s girlfriend is something to do with the Pride Committee.”

“For Seattle? The Parade?”

“Yeah, though they do other stuff as well.”

“Why do they want to talk to me?”

“Umm, you’re kinda famous right now…”

“As a firefighter who got shot. Mason showed me the paper’s website coverage…”

“Yeah, but thanks to that reporter’s question about you, you both are...there’s even a twitter poll to have you lead the parade...” Andy saw Maya pull a face and heard Carina mutter something in Italian that probably wasn’t all that polite about the world, so she rushed on. “...which I know is something you both don’t want or like much, and I said as much to Michelle, who also gets that. And what they want to talk to you about I don’t know, but I told them you were still in hospital but you know what they’re like…” Michelle and her girlfriend were lovely, but they were also rather more extrovert, sociable and all round energetic in their socialising than Carina and Maya were.

“Si, because they have jobs that are 40 hours of sitting down on a schedule each week…” grumbled Carina, who still hadn’t entirely recovered from the shock of discovering how antisocial her life looked compared to theirs, considering that she was, out of both the firefighters and doctors, one of the most ‘people-liking’ of them all. She wasn’t unhappy with her social life - the opposite, she was very happy, she just hadn’t realised how ‘quiet’ it was compared to those who didn’t work their crazy shifts or rush about being physical like the firefighters did.

“That too…” laughed Andy, “...though I was thinking about their lack of patience. So I just wanted to warn you.”

“Thanks…” Maya let out a small sigh, not sure how she felt about that, already ignoring a fair few emails about interviews and things. She figured she’d get a pass at ignoring them as long as she was in the hospital then maybe get the Chief’s help in getting Headquarters to make them go away. “...turns out that reporter was Mason’s first girlfriend.”

“Oh?”

“You do not know that…” corrected Carina in between bites. “...she was the one who took his verginità.”

“Does that mean what I think it means?”

“Yeah...oh, you know how Elmo’s afraid of Carina?”

“Yeah, you worked it out?”

“It’s embarrassment not fear...he was in the delivery room with his sister and fainted as she crowned...which is also how we know about…”

“Mason and the reporter? How..” Andy tried to work out how learning the reason for the B Shift colleague’s nervousness around Carina connected to Mason Bishop’s teenaged sex life. “...oh, he didn’t know what crowning was?” Maya nodded, making Andy smile. “Maybe Bailey’s right, and the puppies should be called Vulva and Vagina for educational purposes…” she teased, only to feel bad when she heard Carina nearly choke on her late dinner. “Or not. So you’ve found your phone…”

“Yeah, thanks for helping him get set up and into my phone...he liked the nickname.”

“Really?” Andy hadn’t entirely thought that through, and had been worried that he might take it the wrong way. “I’d done it for you, not thought about how he’d take it until I was half way home…”

“Si, he is now in my phone as ‘artist in residence’ also,” confirmed Carina, finishing her final mouthful of… “...what was that?” she asked Andy, holding up her empty container, the food now eaten. “It was lovely but…”

“I honestly have no idea, my Aunt just gave them to us when we were leaving to come here. But she’s an awesome cook.”

“Si, it was delicious and makes sense now.” Carina put the fork back in the dish and stood up, putting the dish on the table. “It tasted like a plate you would make yourself at a family party, but I could not think how that could be done with take-out.”

“How are you doing?” asked Andy, refocusing on Maya, hearing Carina washing her hands and continuing the tidying up she’d been in the middle of when Andy arrived. She didn’t want to outright ask Maya if her being very flat again meant there was a problem, but she was a bit worried by it, having become accustomed to seeing her friend either lying flat but with the bed at a slight angle or, since late morning, sitting up.

“Alright. I had a few mouthfuls of something earlier and that seems to be all working.”

“Was it disgusting?”

“Yeah, do you remember me telling you about those powdered drinks I used to have all the time?”

“Oh, those ones your Dad forced you to have? That you said made your mouth feel like you’d just swallowed salty flour? Yeah…” Andy had felt sick just hearing Maya describe them once, but had understood why, whenever they had to go through a rehydration routine after a fire, Maya avoided the made from powder fluids and always went for the pre-mixed ones. “...it was like that?”

“Not that bad, but it was all I could think about once I’d swallowed it, which made the next mouthful hard.” Maya smiled when she saw Andy’s face fall in sympathy. “But I get to try again tomorrow and Teddy’s texted that she agrees with Carina’s suggestion and I can have one that’s more like a sports drink.”

“That sounds more you,” agreed Andy, smiling. “And that means you’re doing well with everything?”

“Yeah...I’m flat like this because Carina’s going to wash my hair. And finish my bath.”

“Oh? I thought…” Now Andy looked at Maya, she saw she was no longer wearing the uniform shirt, as her bare left shoulder and dressings on her right collarbone were visible above the sheet.

“We didn’t finish - Carina was just about to do my bottom half but we got distracted…” Maya saw Andy’s knowing look and shook her head. “...not like that. All the muscles in my hip and thigh are really stiff, because I went from mid scene to here without any sort of stretching.”

“Ow.” Andy winced in sympathy. “Are you going to get some PT or something then?”

“Maybe, it’s up to Teddy. But Carina had just finished giving my right thigh a sort of massage that’s got rid of most of the pain.”

“Really?” Andy was impressed, and turned away from Maya to look at Carina. “That was the magic hands comment?”

“Si, but it is not magic.” Carina came up the side of the bed and sat down by Maya’s left leg, giving her shin a gentle pat to let her know she was back. “Some careful pressure to the trigger points in the uninjured muscles and the little knots unwind.”

“Oh, like Robert does a bit for his leg…” Andy could picture what Carina was talking about. “...yeah, that feels amazing,” she leaned in and looked at Maya. “The first time he did it for me I nearly melted.” She laughed when Maya just raised her eyebrow. “Point taken.” She reached for her friend’s left hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll get out of here so your girlfriend’s magic hands can do their thing for you again,” she teased, relieved that her friend was doing so well and seemed, so far, to be keeping her good humour. “I only came by to drop off the dinner for Carina...I’m going to take the dishes back to Tia Sandra while Robert and Mason measure.”

“You’re thinking treat it like a cliff face triage?”

“Yeah, if there’s enough hooks in the right place. Platforms are super expensive and hard to move about. But some bits by ladder too. You ok with the fund idea?”

“Yeah….hey Andy?”

“Mmm?” Andy was pulling on her coat, so Maya couldn’t see her. “Yeah?”

“Can you bring Emmett by at the start of your next shift please? Put Jack or Sato in charge and come down in the SUV with your kit?”

“Sure…” Andy wound her scarf around her neck and zipped up her coat, then went and leaned over the bed again so she could look at Maya. “...everything ok?”

“Yeah, I just want to talk to him about something, and you’re his training Lieutenant so should hear it too.” She saw her friend’s face cloud. “Nothing bad, for either of you, I’d have done it a Thursday or Friday had this not happened.”

“Sure, no problem. That’ll be Sunday morning, about half 8 probably? We’ll do line up then come if that works?”

“Perfect, thanks Andy.” Maya closed her eyes, not sure she could cope with seeing Andy’s exotic looking bobble hat again without laughing. “And thanks for everything else.”

“Of course…” Andy put her bobble hat on and gave Carina a brief hug. “...did you see the puppies yet?”

“No, Maya told me Vic has sent some video and pictures, but we are going to look at them together in a bit,” said Carina, then mouthing ‘but I hope she will sleep.’

“Enjoy them when you see them. I’ll tell the boys to text you when they’re finished,” added Andy, putting the dish and fork back in the bag, ready to leave, giving Carina a brief hug and a whispered ‘you’re both doing amazing’ before stepping back and adding in her normal voice. “Text me if you want me to bring you anything else from your place tomorrow, we’re off again.” And, with a few more thank yous and Happy New Years, she was on her way to retrieve the other dish and fork from Mason, leaving Carina and Maya alone together once more.

* * *

  
  
  


“How are you feeling?” asked Carina, sitting down on the bed next to Maya then swinging her legs up and lying down, turning her head so she was nose to nose with her girlfriend.

“Good...that trigger point stuff, how did I not know about that?” Maya blindly reached with her left hand for her girlfriend’s, smiling when she caught hold of it.

“No idea, I was not deliberately keeping you out of the light.”

“In the dark...is it part of your research?”

“No, it is…” Carina shrugged, finding Maya’s fascination with this ‘new’ therapy treatment for muscles perplexing. “...what you do with your foam rollers and weird rubber ball thing.”

“It is?”

“Si, the same logic and approach, just on different parts of the anatomy.”

“How do you know this stuff?” Maya’s fascination with learning new things had overtaken any other thoughts she might have had lingering following Andy’s brief visit, and right now, Carina was much happier to talk about anatomy and physical therapy rather than anything to do with publicity or Pride.

“Originally because when I first was starting to learn surgery I would get very bad headaches that upset my eyes. One of my instructors recognised my symptoms and taught me how to manage them with these trigger points. And then I started reading…It is quite useful for some of my patients.”

“To help with labour pain?”

“A little, but more during the pregnancy as the body adjusts to the growing bambino, and my other patients.” She saw Maya frown, trying to work out how it could be useful. “For a lot of women, lying on their back for the internal exam is not an easy position and their muscles at their hips get angry. Here…” She moved their joined hands to her own hip, guiding Maya’s fingers into her jean pocket and into the position she was thinking of. “...feel as I move…” Carina bent her right leg up at the knee until her sock clad foot was flat on the bed, then picked her foot up off the bed and moved it out to her right a little bit, mimicking the position it ends up being supported in for the exam. “...can you feel the muscle tightening?”

“Yeah, like a cord...that hurts for some people?”

“Si, it can help them feel a little more in control if they know that they can press a little to help the leg relax.” Carina smiled as Maya did exactly that, feeling how the muscle stayed firm for a minute or so and then went soft under fingers. “Bene…” Carina couldn’t really cope with holding her leg in mid air for much longer, not while she couldn’t actually see what was under her foot and what she’d kick if her leg gave way, which Maya’s careful exploration was pretty much going to guarantee would happen in another minute or so, so she reclaimed her girlfriend’s hand and put her leg back down on the bed. “...you can do that to yourself on your left leg, and when your right arm is free to prod you can do your own right hip and thigh.”

“Won’t you do it?” asked Maya hopefully, still somewhat euphorically high with how much better her right leg felt as a result of this magic prodding her girlfriend was seemingly expert in.

“Not today, no.” Carina laughed when she was confronted with the inevitable pout from her girlfriend. “Because Andy’s visit means it is already after 9, and we do not know how long Mason will take to measure his wall. And I think he and you are both quite tired?” She saw Maya’s frown and instinctive need to fight the suggestion of tiredness, but rather than tackling it head on, Carina just angled her head so she could kiss her girlfriend’s still clean shoulder, then sat up. “So I am going to help you finish getting clean with your left leg and washing your hair, while you do the prodding.” She twisted so she could lean over and kiss Maya on the lips. “If you are still awake when I lie down later I will ‘prod’ your left leg a little for you. Plan?”

“Yeah, that’s a good plan…” agreed Maya, glaring at the lank piece of hair that had, on cue, tumbled off her forehead. “...thank you.” Now she was reminded how long it had been since she’d washed her hair, she was very conscious how not-clean it felt. “I can’t remember the last time it was more than a day since I last washed my hair.”

“Va bene bella.” Carina snuck another quick kiss, then forced herself to stand up. As tempting as it was to stay lying with Maya, who despite her tiredness from a really very intense day, was seeming to be looking and feeling better, she knew that the energy would suddenly fade, and by the time her next dose of medication was given via the IV in just over an hour or so, that would be all Maya would need to nudge her into proper sleep. “So, this is now my lesson on what tools are on the Ladder truck si?”

“It is?” Maya looked quizzically at the ceiling as she tried to keep up with her girlfriend’s change of subject.

“Si. You said one of the important reasons for keeping the engine and ladder so clean…” She pushed the little trolley back to the bed, having already had all the washcloths and soap ready when Andy had arrived for her brief visit. “...was so the shutters opened quickly and easily when you needed the tools.”

“Oh, right…” Maya’s brain was catching up - Carina washing her left leg, which this time included rather more of her inner thigh and...oh god… “...right, yes, why do you want to start with the Ladder?”

“Because you said you take the ladder to calls because it has the bigger, more interesting tools on it because it doesn’t have a water tank like the engine.” Carina reached out and put her hand lightly on Maya’s left shin, letting her know she was back.

“Ah, right…” Maya nudged the sheet with her left hand, mentally prepared to feel the slight coolness that losing the covering caused. “...well, I guess we could start with...” She paused when she felt the sheet move and the air of the room chill her skin for a moment.

“Bene?” asked Carina softly, waiting for Maya to relax again, then starting to put down the sheets and towels that would keep the bed dry while enabling her to wash Maya from hip to toe.

“Yeah, so...oh, ok…” Maya closed her eyes, picturing the ladder with all its tool compartments and, well, ladder, and not Carina’s hands all over her bare leg and...she cleared her throat and forced herself to focus. “...so, first question, are you counting the ladder and vehicle as a tool or just the stuff in the compartments?”

“Oh, tell me about the vehicle first, Teddy was so excited about being able to climb on it,” said Carina, squeezing out the washcloth so it wasn’t dripping too much, checking the temperature of the water a final time, finding Teddy’s enthusiasm for the big ladder infectious when she was telling her and Miranda about it and also surprised that it hadn’t occurred to her to ask about it before.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not the biggest in the department, but it’s pretty special...so..oh..”

“Too cold?”

“No, just wet...and the water tickled on my foot.” Maya frowned at the ceiling, wondering if that was also a hint. “And I promise that as soon as Teddy lets me climb on our trucks again, I will take you up onto the ladder, and on to the top of the engine too.”

“Grazie...Miranda said it is nice there, soft like a good firm mattress.” Carina hadn’t actually meant the water running down Maya’s leg onto her foot to be a pointed hint, but wasn’t going to not take up Maya’s offer. “I will try not to tickle you with the water...why does the ladder truck have legs?”

“Legs? Oh, you mean the outriggers…” Maya’s brain, now she could mostly ignore the feeling of the water trickling around her shin and calf, switched over into ‘fire nerd’ mode. “...they’re really important but also make the Ladder hard to use in some places. So…”

And, as she started to indulge her inner fire-nerd and explain about the ladder, Carina methodically and carefully paid very close attention to her girlfriend’s words...and counted again all the lucky stars and blessings that meant she was able to even hear her love’s voice sound so enthused about something...although later, much much later when these bed baths were long behind them and they were back in their own bed at home, she did think she might enjoy teasing Maya about how she could be jealous of the other set of ‘amazing legs’ in her life….but only once their kisses and laughter wouldn’t get them in trouble with Teddy…


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Useful language note....  
> In British English, 'fanny' means 'vagina'.
> 
> Now, onwards....and no, I'm not explaining why that might be useful to know at this point ;-)

“Good morning...oh.” Teddy paused halfway between the door and the basin, surprised by the total lack of patient to examine, then continued on to the basin.

“Buongiorno Teddy,” said Carina, looking up from her phone. “Maya is having the extra scans for you and Link.”

“Ah…” Teddy finished her automatic hand wash, then came and sat down on the edge of Maya’s big bed. “...how are you doing?”

“Me? Bene.” Carina put her phone on the bedside unit and stretched her back and arms, then settled back into the chair that, for the first couple of days of Maya’s hospital stay had been the spot she’d barely moved from. “No, really, I am ok,” said Carina, picking up on her friend’s scepticism and trying to reassure her. “Mason has gone with Maya to keep her company while she has the scans, and tell her about his wall.”

“Oh?” Other than he now had a wall to paint, what more was there to the conversation?

“Si, last night Robert Sullivan and he measured it so that Andy and Maya’s team can start to plan how he can reach all of it to paint, but when he came back here Maya was already asleep...they had another big talk while I was getting a coffee but asked me to do the hugging for them this time.” Carina’s pride in the progress the Bishop siblings were making was plain to see and infectious.

“Did he sleep on the bed last night?” asked Teddy, remembering that had been the first time, barely two hours into the New Year, she’d needed to give Maya extra pain medication, when she and Bailey had arrived in the middle of a Bishop-Bishop-DeLuca stubborn-off and the whole who was or wasn’t sleeping where problem had been revealed. At the time it had felt like a backward step, but compared to what happened only a few hours later and ended up in the OR, it was now a minor footnote in Maya’s recovery. “Did you sleep on a bed last night?”

“Si, he now has some scrubs for pyjamas, and is going to show up everyone with his clean shave every morning.” 

That had been the thing that he’d really taken to - once Andrew had helped him get rid of the bulk of his beard and stubble, Carina had rather assumed he was growing back the currently fashionable stubble look which was apparently quite complicated to keep looking accidental. Turned out though, that Mason had been carefully removing a little bit more of his stubble every day not quite believing he was going to be able to stay, but after yesterday’s big talk with his sister, he had a new confidence about that. 

“He was telling me last night - his idea was always that if he found a way back, he’d start with a clean shave and stay like that every day so if he ever started to worry he’s dreaming, his clean-shave reminds him it is real. You would not recognise him now...except he looks even more like her.”

“Pink ones?”

“Funny. Andrea has found him some blue ones which he wears in a mix, so he is obviously ‘not one of us’.”

“He’s got a lot to adjust to, hasn’t he?”

“Si. I am glad he is able to stay with her here though, I do not think him staying in the apartment on his own is a good idea for a little while.”

“Will you have to change much?” Teddy saw her question hadn’t made much sense to Carina, erring on the too diplomatic side of politeness and therefore came over too cryptic. “Because of the drugs? Will you have to make any changes?”

“Ah, no.” Carina smiled, understanding Teddy’s question now. “Maya does not have any pain medication in the apartment, never has...which could be another sign she never lost hope he would come. I already have my little cupboard with a lock…” She saw Teddy’s face cloud. “...it is a habit I had to make in Italy for my father, and one that I keep because of Andrea. In Italy I could be called to home births so I had a medical bag with pain relief at the house as well as my prescription pad. If my father was in an episode that would be very dangerous for him.” And others, if he had access to the tools of their professional trade, but Carina elected not to dwell on that now.

“Did he…”

“...know I had the drugs and took that precaution? I do not know - I never told him about it and I do not think he ever found the cupboard. You and Meredith are the only ones here, other than Maya, that know I keep the discipline.” Carina’s thoughtful face cleared a little. “I must find out if the wine rack is a concern, but otherwise no, we are ready for him when he is ready for us.”

“That’s good...but you didn’t answer my question,” nudged Teddy, not needing to be the expert question dodger she was to spot her friend’s neat sidestep.

“Si, he slept on the camp bed.”

“And you?” prompted Teddy, thinking Carina looked generally better than she had been looking in the last couple of days - at the very least she was wearing clothes Teddy didn’t think she’d seen her wearing in the hospital before, suggesting Andy had managed to wrap her head around what to bring in for her.

“I did not sleep on the camp bed...that…” Carina nodded to the bed Teddy was sitting on the edge of, “...was very kind of Bailey, but mamma mia, I hope I do not ever have a patient big enough to fill it on their own...”

“You and me both...and...you’re looking…” Teddy wasn’t quite sure what word to pick, a little worried about insulting her usually effortlessly elegant friend. “...more like you at the start of shift after a good day off again.”

“Rather than the end of several bad ones? Si, I feel more like that now,” agreed Carina, appreciating the parallel Teddy was making. “I am certain we will have arguments but for now we are good. She’s…” Carina looked past Teddy to the empty bed, finding it strange not seeing Maya there, thinking about how quickly they’d managed to adjust to their current reality. “...magnifica.” She blinked and swallowed, wanting to keep control of her emotions. “...and knows you did not tell us the whole truth about her visit to theatre yesterday morning.”

“When did you know?”

“As you were telling me, I had felt her rib as I moved him from her. Then her chart, later.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” said Carina simply, reaching forwards and putting her hand on her friend’s knee and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I have done the same thing to patients in similar circumstances. You did not lie to us, you told us what was important.”

“How can you be so…” Teddy gestured vaguely in Carina’s direction, having been dreading this moment with her friend since Warren and Bailey had dropped her off at home after their impromptu brunch yesterday. “...nice about it?”

“Because it’s, oh, how do you Americans say it...no damage no offence? No, that’s not it…” Carina frowned, knowing there was a phrase that worked here, knowing what it was in Italian, but also knowing it wasn’t literally translated from Italian to English.

“No harm no foul?”

“Si!” Carina grinned brightly. “Grazie. There was no harm so there is no foul Teddy. If you had told her she would have heard it as a telling off and been angry and upset and not rested, nor understood the full impact of her situation and I would have had a fight with her. But instead you told her ‘va bene’, that she had not gone backwards and that everything was still as it had been. So she was relieved and calm and resting when I then told her she was now a cat on her ninth life.”

“Wow, you’re a braver woman than me.”

“More foolish,” corrected Carina, leaning back in the chair smiling. “A brave woman would have stopped her from hugging him. It could have gone very wrong.” She shrugged, hearing her phone ping and picking it up. “But she was due some luck si?”

“Definitely,” agreed Teddy, not subscribing to the theory that Maya was ‘lucky’ to have survived the eight bullets in her body and thirteen in total hitting her. “Bailey’s coming in a bit too.”

“Oh?”

“I want her to look at Maya’s drains.” Teddy realised, as she spoke, that she’d explained herself the wrong way round. “Sorry, I forget you haven’t been here for years and years.”

“No, only years,” agreed Carina, smiling at the clarification. She was familiar with the mistake - for someone who had only been at the hospital for a little over three years, had been appointed on the basis of her research and was only an Attending by accident, it was unusual for her to be so well integrated into the tight ‘Heads of’ inner circle of Miranda, Teddy, Amelia and the like. But through a combination of their amused fascination with her research and the role it played in saving Amelia’s life, the whole Maggie-Andrea and Andrea-Meredith tangle and her brother’s mental health, it was perhaps inevitable she was the OBGYN of choice for the group and had become one of the tight circle in her own right.

“Miranda is like Queen of Drains.”

“Si?”

“Yeah, she did some sort of research piece on them when she was first an Attending - changed some of the protocols…” Teddy shook her head, unable to remember the details, “...point is, I can only remember that she got very into it with good results from taking drains out earlier than we might otherwise. So I asked her yesterday to come and have a proper look at Maya today.”

“I thought the thigh looked ready…” agreed Carina, thinking back to what she’d automatically noted as she’d helped Maya feel clean yesterday. “...but I am trying to be the girlfriend not the doctor.”

“Which isn’t easy...” Teddy knew that from personal experience, but unless Maya had said anything, Carina probably didn’t know, and her bemused expression prompted Teddy to elaborate. “Henry, my husband.”

“Si? But I thought…” Carina was about to bring up Owen, then decided not to mention him by name, so changed tack to something else that she’d picked up on, “...Amelia has been teasing you about Maya…” Amelia teased everyone about Maya at some point, something Maya took with remarkable good humour but Carina had noticed the tone of Amelia’s teasing had been changing in the last few days, especially when she included Teddy in it.

“Yeah…” Teddy smiled and sighed. “...I was wondering when you were going to notice that. It really isn’t…”

“Personal to Maya? Si, lo so, at least….it’s not for you.”

“Are you saying Amelia has a thing for Maya?”

“Thing? No.” 

Carina shook her head, shifting position in the chair but staying relaxed, unphased by the direction of the conversation. She knew Amelia didn’t really mean anything by it, and she also knew she and Maya were in a very good place, both familiar with the idea of needing to work at something to maximise the enjoyment and now doing that as mostly second nature with their relationship. 

“An awareness that Maya has probably the greatest overlap with Link in estetica and, unlike you, is firmly associated in Amelia’s mind as being…” Carina paused to find the words Maya used in amongst the multitude of terms she knew in both English and Italian, before finally settling on one she felt worked in this context. “...not straight? Yes.” Privately, Carina had already made a mental note to start to keep an eye on her best friend as, her memory reminded her, Amelia’s increased interest in intimacy with women corresponded with the hormone surge of pregnancy...it could just be Scout getting a sibling, or it could be the consequence of Amelia overcoming her final reticence about Maya’s return into Carina’s life as well as heart.

“What have I...oh, you’re saying Amelia has a thing for blondes.”

“Si, with muscles and energy and…” Carina shook her head and sank back into the chair, looking exhausted at the concept.

“You have just described you, you know?” teased Teddy, relieved Carina had not taken Amelia’s teasing to heart.

“Si, but we were talking about you…” pointed out Carina, equally expert at not being distracted by deflections and topic changes. “...and when you are happy that Maya can enjoy her whiskey again, you will come round and talk to her about the things I have never heard you talk about, but being around Maya makes you want to share.” Carina chuckled at her friend’s surprise as she looked at the latest message alert. “She will tell you she is very bad at taking care of people, but very good at fixing things.”

“Isn’t that a way of describing surgery?”

“Si. And firefighting, but not so much being a paramedic, which is why she does not enjoy working shifts on Aid Car so much.” She read the message. “That was Mason, they are just leaving scanning.”

“Mason has a cellphone?”

“Si, since yesterday.” Carina stood up and stretched again, tidying up her pastry wrapper and coffee cup, brushing the crumbs from Maya’s red and blue shirt which she was wearing again. “That bag…” She nodded towards the sports holdall that was sitting neatly on the end of the camp bed. “...it has been under our bed, waiting for him. Every few months she would replace the bags of sweets with fresh ones, the same with the toothpaste...and her old cellphone and tablet, as well as some clothes, blanket and art materials.” Carina looked away from Teddy and picked up a tissue, muttering to herself about tears being unhelpful, only to be surprised when Teddy pulled her into a hug.

“It’s a lot…” she said simply, rubbing Carina’s back.

“Si, for Maya it’s…”

“Not Maya, you.” Teddy released her hold on her friend just enough to be able to hold her at arm’s length so she could look at her confused friend. “Yes, it’s a lot for Maya to be coping with right now, seeing her brother again after who knows how long, and having to cope with all her injuries too...but it’s a lot for you as well, and that’s allowed.”

“Si, but…”

“No, not ‘si but’…” teased Teddy gently, drawing Carina back into another hug. “...if it was me? I’d have started with punching the Mayor or throwing my coffee over him.” She felt Carina’s shoulders moving and became worried she’d upset her friend. “…what?”

“Grazie Teddy…” Carina pulled back from the hug and took another tissue to wipe her eyes. “...this is laughter making me cry now.”

“It is?” Teddy wasn’t convinced.

“You would have elbowed or kicked the Mayor, not punched…” Carina held her hand up as if she was going to swat the surgeon on the shoulder. “...remember, Bailey does not like us using our hands…” Her grin was infectious, as Teddy thought back to last weekend when Bailey had told them off for hitting with their hands, which was the last time they’d all been in the lobby together, only then they’d not had a noisy Mayor. “...and mamma mia, I would not waste even ordinary coffee on that segaiolo.”

“I’m guessing that’s not very flattering?” Teddy wasn’t sure if she was talking about what she assumed was about to be her latest Italian swear word to learn, or the lobby cart coffee.

“Segaiolo? Si...Andrea tells me I should translate it as jerk.” Carina’s face told Teddy she wasn’t impressed with her brother’s advice.

“What do you translate it as?”

“Wanker, but…”

“Oh, he’s definitely a wanker!” Teddy’s broad grin confused Carina even further. “The Mayor I mean, not your brother…”

“You are too kind, some days he is…” Carina’s grin was infectious. “...but that is my right as big sister….but...” Carina sighed and sat down in the chair again now that she’d finished straightening up things ready for Maya’s return. “...Andrea says I speak English like a European with English English.”

“So? That’s where you were right?”

“Si, but that means my swearing is in English English not American English...it took me a long time to understand what my patients who kept their car keys in their fanny packs were really telling me...”

“Oh that’s brilliant…” Teddy laughed, properly laughed, and was still laughing as the room doors were propped open and Maya appeared, though she was trying to catch enough of her breath to apologise for laughing, feeling she might appear to be straying into laughing ‘at’ rather than ‘with’ territory, which wasn’t her intention.

“Hey…” As Maya was pushed through the door, she saw Carina, the head of the bed raised a very small amount so she could see her toes and where they were going, which right now seemed to be straight into wall as the people moving the trolley turned her round and lined her up next to her special bigger bed. “Did you break Teddy?” she asked, not expecting to see their friend, nevermind having tears running down her cheeks from what Maya had to assume was laughter.

“Si. I was about to explain why I found my patients who keep their car keys in their fanny packs so confusing when I first came here, but…” Carina nudged Teddy’s leg with her foot, signalling that she needed to stand up so that Maya could be moved from the regular hospital trolley bed back into her special Bailey bed and the trolley she was on go collect its next passenger. “...she seemed to be ahead of me.”

“Ah.” Maya bit her lip, concentrating on being suitably prepared for the unnerving experience of being moved from one bed to the other, gaining a whole new level of insight into how their casualties felt when they were putting them on backboards and transferring them to the Aid Car gurney.

“Sorry.” Teddy got out of the way and got herself under control. “You are welcome to swear with me in English English whenever you need to Carina. Most of my overseas tours were with combined US-UK forces. I can’t do the accent, struggle to understand half their accents but can swear like a squaddie,” she said, using the British Army phrase for an ordinary soldier. “And I can see why you were confused by those car keys.”

“Si. Grazie Teddy...” Carina’s smile was warm and genuine, the few minutes random conversation, tears and laughter with her friend helping her immensely. “...e grazie mille,” she said politely to the nurses who were now wheeling out the trolley Maya had been on, her girlfriend now back in her own bed but looking rather uncomfortable. “Bella?”

“I feel tangled.” Maya had forgotten how uncomfortable it was to be tangled up in the lines and sheet as, while it had been a fairly regular occurrence in the first couple of days, somehow she’d been much more settled in this bigger bed and not needed untangling so much.

“Va bene…” Carina reached for a pair of gloves from the box she’d taken to leaving on the bedside unit for such moments, looking to Teddy, who nodded, confirming she’d help rather than Carina call for a nurse. “...where is Mason?”

“He went to get you and him second breakfast when they said they thought you’d be here to look at things,” said Maya moving her head in the vague direction of where Teddy’s laughter had come from, being just about not quite horizontal that she’d been able to get a sense of where they were around the bed. “Thanks for letting me have that other drink thing Teddy.”

“No problem...Maya, can you cope with me and Carina looking at your left and right sides at the same time?” Maya made a thumbs up sign with her left hand, closing her eyes ready for the inevitable chill as the sheet moved away from her sides.

“Bene. We shall see if we can get you untangled then?” offered Carina, putting her knee on the bed and leaning over so she was directly above Maya’s face and leaning down to quickly kiss her hello, making Maya open her eyes again when she felt Carina’s lips.

“Hi.”

“Ciao...you are tired?”

“Headache, the scan was loud and it was much further than when I went down the corridor.” Maya wouldn’t go as far as to say her trip on the trolley had made her motion sick, but it had been unnerving being wheeled through the corridors, even with Mason giving her a commentary about where they were and what they were passing. 

Carina had planned on coming with them, but Maya had insisted she’d be fine - she’d not be on her own if her brother came with her, and would Carina a few minutes to herself. Plus if Carina went, she knew she’d be invited ‘behind the glass’ to watch the scans as they were taken, which then made it rather difficult for Carina to stay in girlfriend mode, especially given the MRIs in particular were going to be focusing on Maya’s lower abdomen. Teddy, very aware that in theatre her priority had been stopping bleeding, removing bullets and minimising infection risk due to any missed nicks or tears to the intestines, wasn’t always going to guarantee finding everything the trauma had, well, traumatised. But the explanation that they’d collectively agreed would be their reason for Mason going and Carina staying was that if Carina was in the scanning area for a couple of hours, there was a very high chance of people knowing where she was and queuing up for ‘quick looks at this’ or an ‘opinion on something, only take a second’ and, while Carina knew she’d have to go back to work at some point fairly soon, she didn’t want it to be today, as if she half remembered her shift pattern, this was supposed to be a day off.

“Close your eyes for a moment then bella while we check your tangles.”

“Thanks…” Maya closed her eyes against the lights, glad too not to be quite so aware of her nose in her peripheral vision, which was unusually off putting for some reason this morning. “I’m guessing you won’t let me sit up yet?”

“Not just yet Maya, sorry,” said Teddy, who’d been waiting for the trolley to leave the room before reappearing on Maya’s right hand side, pulling on some gloves. “Because I need to look at your incisions while you are lying down, but we’ll get you sitting up again as soon as we can, deal?”

“Deal.” That was a plan Maya could work with, liking sitting up but not being a huge fan of the moving between the two positions, though sitting up for ‘breakfast’ had been much less painful, something she attributed entirely to her girlfriend’s ‘magic hands’ and miraculous ‘prodding’. Prudently, Carina had agreed to take the compliment (the kisses helped) and not draw attention to the little bit more healing, the fact she’d not had a general anaesthetic earlier in the day (yet, and Carina hoped they could stay that way) or the pain relief Maya was taking alongside antibiotics without protest...for now at least.

“Ah, I think I see the problem…” said Carina, looking from the bed to Teddy, who had only got as far as moving the top sheet so she could see Maya’s side. “...can you see? They have pushed her too far to this side…” While Teddy lifted the sheet away from the edge of the bed to see what Carina had spotted on her side, Carina leaned back over Maya to explain things to her. “Bella?” She waited while Maya opened her eyes slowly, relieved when she saw Carina rather than the ceiling. “Bailey had you positioned on the right hand side of this bed, but in a regular bed you would be in the middle…”

“I’ve gone too far over?”

“Si, and your lines are feeling a bit short I think....like how you park my car when you have been driving your engine all day.”

“That happened ONE time!” protested Maya, blushing. “And I was only driving your car because of Teddy.”

“Me?” Teddy had been listening with quiet amusement at their conversation, pleased that despite everything on their plates they were still  _ them.  _ “How is your bad parking my fault?” Of course, as soon as she said that, she worked out what they must be talking about. “You’re not talking about my birthday are you?”

“Si.”

“Oh.” Teddy did have to admit that yes, it was her fault.

“It wasn’t bad parking…” grumbled Maya, trying not to think about how weird it felt having someone who wasn’t Carina touching her bare hip...not because Teddy was doing anything different to what Carina had done, but knowing Carina’s hands were the ones on her left side, it made it very easy to ‘feel’ all the differences in the touch on her right side. “...it was excellent parking once you knew the car was inside an invisible fire engine...”

There was silence.

Maya had closed her eyes to try and help her headache, while Carina and Teddy, motivated out of long careers of instinctively knowing that doctors were not supposed to laugh at their patients, worked hard to keep straight faces and not make eye contact with each other.

“...which is obviously why the car shouldn’t have been towed away for obstructing a hydrant.”

Maya opened her eyes when she heard a very, very strange sound.

“Bella?”

“Hmm?”

“You broke Teddy.”

“Oops?”

“A little ooops,” agreed Carina, leaning in so she could properly look at her girlfriend. “Did you ask Mason to buy us the newspaper while he was getting second breakfast?”

“No...” Maya frowned, wondering why Carina was thinking about the newspaper. “...I don’t want to read about Dixon…”

“No, neither do I. I was not talking about the local one. It is Saturday.”

“Is it?” Maya’s frown intensified, trying to work out how she’d lost track of the day of the week again.

“Si. I shall send him a text…oh, does he have money?”

“Andy and Robert gave him a bit more yesterday I think, definitely some phone credit...my wallet’s…”

“In your backpack. I will not ask him to get the newspaper just now,” decided Carina, putting her phone back in her pocket and dipping her head down to kiss Maya. “Teddy is better.”

“Than a newspaper? She’s funnier than the cartoons for sure.”

“I’m guessing…” began Teddy, long ago recovered from her laughter but, having seen something in Maya’s chart entries from when she was down at scan, she’d stepped back out into the corridor and got a passing colleague to go get her a particular medication. 

She knew Carina was concerned by her behaviour, but was grateful to her friend for keeping Maya distracted. She’d spotted the small dose of pain relief she’d needed to cope with the manhandling necessary to get her into the right position for the MRI, which almost certainly explained the headache and should have been given with a second medication to deal with the side effects...side effects that Teddy did not want Maya having to cope with, and would no doubt see her and Bailey going to have a little chat with the Scanning team fairly soon, but for now, she’d focus on sorting out Maya. 

“...that...oh, thanks…” She took Carina’s place in Maya’s eyeline. “...hi...on a scale of I’m feeling a bit weird but can cope for a few minutes through to if you don’t do something about it I’ll start moving my right arm to rip them out, where are you, honestly?”

“Umm…” That was not what Maya had expected Teddy to ask her. “....honestly? It’s more weird than pain, but I don’t want to spend the day like this. Why?”

“Because to get you comfortable, we’re going to have to move you not the lines…” Teddy nodded in sympathy with Maya’s wince at that suggestion. “...yeah, not the most fun. But before we do that, I want to check your incisions with Miranda. And give you a thirty second warning I’m going to let Carina see your chart...”

“Why Miranda?” asked Maya, proving that her ears and brain were not remotely affected by her injuries. “Is something wrong?”

“The opposite. She’s our drain expert and I want her expert opinion on whether you really need them or if they’ve done their job. There’s a chance that we can maybe get rid of some of them for you, which would make everything a little more comfortable anyway too. Fifteen seconds.” She didn’t usually practice such ‘tough love’ on her patients, but then few of her patients were the partner of one of her close friends and had a proven track record of forgetting to mention things like they were feeling a bit sick as a result of some extra meds they’d needed to cope with a scan….that Carina would really be better hearing about from Maya first, rather than seeing it in her chart.

“Oh.” Maya felt Carina’s fingers touch her left hand, her girlfriend apparently taking her gloves off when Teddy had started negotiating with Maya about being able to tolerate her current position for a few more minutes. Catching hold of familiar fingers, Maya gave a tentative, questioning squeeze, which was quickly answered with a reassuring, positive one. “Yeah, I can cope for that, and I have no idea what they gave me, but I did not like being in the MRI so they had to give me something to stop me blurring the pictures...Does that explain my headache?”

“Probably...not your jokes though, those are all you,” teased Teddy, holding the chart out at the relevant note for Carina to see, pleased Maya had been so forthcoming about how uncomfortable she had found being scanned after only a relatively small nudge from Teddy. “And I’ll make sure you get some extra pain relief up here before you set off for scan if you have to go again, so you don’t feel the transfers quite so badly which should help. Are you feeling nauseous?”

“Umm…”

“Ma-ya….” chided Carina gently, grateful to Teddy that she gave them a moment by going to draw the privacy curtain, giving Carina a chance to lie down on the bed, propping her head up on her hand so she could talk to Maya without crowding over her. “...please tell Teddy if you are feeling nausea, it is probably the medication from the scan, not the drink you had, but even if it was the drink, you must tell her how you feel…” She leaned in and gently brushed her lips across a troubled forehead, seeing through Maya’s jokes and knowing what was probably going on in her girlfriend’s brilliant but complicated brain that liked to play its cruel tricks still. “...all she will do is adjust things, you will not be punished or told you were bad…”

“Will you come next time? It was…”

“...too much? Si, it was for me also. Next time I will come…”

“Alright then…” Teddy announced her return from adjusting the curtains and washing her hands. “...stay, you’re fine Carina, I can do everything from this side…” she added, encouraging her friend to stay settled in next to Maya on her left side. “...assuming that’s alright with…” She laughed, seeing Maya was holding up Carina’s right hand, which she had a firm hold of with her left. “...alright then. Can you hit the call button please Maya? Or is that...oh, thanks Carina.”

“Let me guess, no dressing packs…” sighed Carina, putting the call button back on the hook she’d snagged it from, tutting quietly when she felt Maya’s finger try to find the gap that briefly formed between her jeans and shirt as she stretched, thinking of all the times she’d got to a delicate part of reviewing an incision and not having the necessary supplies to immediately hand.

“It’s like you work here or something…” joked Teddy, leafing through Maya’s chart until she found what she was looking for. “...alright, let’s start with the usual...how are you feeling? And no, I’m not talking about the holes and tubes just yet...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those still a bit bemused....'fanny' in British slang = vagina. Apparently 'fanny pack' in US English is what much of the rest of the world calls 'bum bag'....though since the early 1990s we've tried not to mention them 😉


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again, for the continuing comments, kudos and general delight and enjoyment you're getting from my stories - a lovely bright spot, so thank you.
> 
> And for those of you who have no idea what was funny in the last chapter, 'fanny' in British slang is a term for 'vagina'....and no, 'fanny pack' is not called that, but 'bum bag'. Armed with this new knowledge, you might like to nip back to the last chapter and enjoy the joke....
> 
> ....and now, on with the story...and for those of you who read 'Cannoli and French Toast' you're starting to get some missing pieces filled in a little....
> 
> Enjoy....

“...e Mason?”

“Mmm?” He looked up from his newly discovered and charged tablet, seeing Carina was wanting to talk to him. “Sorry Carina…” He moved to uncross his legs and stand up from the camp bed which he’d adopted as a favoured sitting spot, but she waved for him to stay seated.

“You do not need to move, but I am going to my office to sort something out for one hour. Can you keep your ears turned on so you pass Maya her drink if she wants it please?” She gestured to the closed cup with straw sticking out of the top that she had put on the bedside unit. This was the only downside they’d found with the bed so far - existing room furniture didn’t really fit around it so well, and for Maya with her broken and bruised ribs, it made reaching for the cup herself an impossible task. But they’d also discovered his ability to become completely absorbed by something to the point he ‘turned his ears off’ was also impressive - Maya was curious to see whether he would be able to sleep through the station alarms at some point, but it meant Carina wanted to make sure he was appropriately paying attention before she left the siblings.

“Sure…” He smiled at his rather grumpy looking sister, having ‘turned his ears’ off when she started sounding grumpy, deciding he’d only make whatever she was going through worse for Carina to get a handle of but also astute enough now to understand that him leaving would either distract Maya from the issue which couldn’t be good in the long run, or make things harder for Carina. “...I’m not going anywhere.”

“Neither am I…” grumbled Maya, not overly happy at the moment based on what Carina and she had been talking about a few minutes earlier.

“Bene.” 

Not rising to her girlfriend’s grumpiness, knowing it was mostly pain and anxiety fueled, Carina sat down on the edge of the bed and, ignoring the ‘leave me alone’ signals radiating from her tetchy love, kissed her lightly on the lips, smiling when she felt them immediately twitch and respond, further confirmation that, while Maya might not yet have consciously acknowledged it, she wasn’t actually furious with her girlfriend. As Carina slowly pulled back from the kiss, she felt Maya move her head forward, like she was chasing her lips and so relented, allowing herself to be ‘caught’ by her girlfriend’s lips for a gentle, teasing kiss that was at total odds to the tenseness of their conversation minutes earlier.

“I will be back.” Giving Maya’s left hand a squeeze, Carina stood up and went over to the cupboard in the far wall where patients could keep their things and picked something up then headed out of the room, leaving the two siblings together, individually alone but co-existing in the same space.

* * *

Walking a short distance down the corridor, she then stopped and, exhaling deeply, leaned against the wall and let the emotions from the events of the last few minutes just work through her for a moment, letting herself feel everything she’d kept contained while in the room.

“That’s a big sigh…” observed Teddy, signing off the chart she’d been reviewing and handing it to an intern for acting on. “...you ok?” It was lightly said, but if she was a cartoon character, Teddy felt like she’d have a thought bubble above her head asking ‘what the hell happened? I only left an hour ago..’

“Si…” Carina blinked, remembering now that Maya was on the ward Teddy’s other patients were on, a ward that had been slightly quieter because of the holiday the day before, with the everyday constant hum of activity not really registering with Carina when she didn’t recognise any of the doctors or nurses. And before yesterday, she’d barely left Maya’s room apart from that now infamous trip to the coffee cart “...scusa.” She thought she was in the way, but Teddy waved her hand in easy dismissal of Carina’s attempt to move.

“You’re fine, I mean, I’d offer you my office or an on call room if you wanted to indulge in some primal scream therapy, but your own office is further away so probably more effectively soundproofed from the one with the ears you don’t want to hear…” She leaned against the wall next to Carina when she saw her teasing had limited effect. “...Amelia’s around somewhere catching up on charts, do you want me to get her?” offered Teddy, knowing that while she was normally an option for Carina having a vent about life, the universe and her girlfriend, given Maya was currently Teddy’s patient and what had happened earlier, Teddy quite understood if she wasn’t Carina’s favourite person just now.

“No thank you.” Carina took another deep breath, passing what she had brought from Maya’s room from one hand to the other. “And I do not need to scream, about anything or at anyone…” she assured her friend, taking another steadying breath. “...and you did nothing wrong.”. She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again, able now to explain. "She is not fighting you, or me or even herself. She is fighting….that…." 

"Sega-what's-it?" 

"Segalio si, no…” Carina sighed again, closing her eyes. “‘Eyes forward’ - it is the nasty voice of her childhood." 

"Her father?" Teddy had heard enough bits and pieces since that emotional reunion admission she was bystander to months earlier to recognise that Maya's father was a difficult and complex subject, a subject that Mason's return seemed to be simultaneously helping to put to bed for once and for all for Maya and Mason, but not without first bringing quite a lot back to the surface. And hearing about the restraining order in the press conference had been a rather unexpected surprise.

"Si. She needs a little bit of time to hear it is that 'eyes forward' voice making her want to fight us. She says herself, she does not want to be an idiot, she just sometimes does the thing that is idiotic but does not see it as that until afterwards. So I… " Carina paused, trying to work out how best to explain to her friend what she was now caught up in the middle of. "... stopped you from poking the sleeping lion and now Maya has poked it herself she must cope with it awake."

"Tiger, sleeping tiger." 

"Ah. Grazie. What one is the lion?" As far as Carina was concerned, it was still a big angry cat with claws and teeth, but she was happy always to try and remember the correct phrase, though she was certain she’d had her tigers corrected to lions by Maya fairly recently. “And Maya will tell you tigers do not like sleeping but prefer escaping.”

“The pandemic tiger was them? How did I not…” As soon as Teddy half formed her question about why she didn’t know, the answer was becoming obvious - it was the pandemic. “Never mind, umm….lions...lions…” She looked around the ward space for inspiration as to what phrase Carina was asking about, automatically noting the staff moving between the patients, some with family members some without, seeing the patient lunches starting to be served. “...oh! Feed you to the lions?”

“Grazie.” 

“Dare I ask who were the lions and whether it was you or Maya on the menu?” Instinct was telling Teddy that, for once, the direct approach wasn’t the right one with Carina.

“Hmm? Oh, umm...Amelia was the lion and Maya was the food.”

“It was? When? I wasn’t high was I? I mean, not sure how I’d forget that sort of snack.” 

Carina rolled her eyes, hearing her best friend who  _ of course  _ had to arrive at that point and went back to using the wall to hold her head up, which helped rest her neck but meant she had to stare at the strip lights in the ceiling so she closed her eyes.

“Amelia…”

“Why do we ‘feed people to the lions’ but try not to ‘wake sleeping tigers’?” asked Teddy quickly, attracting Amelia’s attention and sending her a very, very fierce ‘behave’ glare.

“Lions I know - Roman Emperors had slaves fight gladiators and the loser was lunch.” Amelia acknowledged Teddy’s glare with a nod and a raised eyebrow, tilting her head towards Carina first, then changing the angle and jerking her head in the general direction of Maya’s room.

“Ah, si!” Carina opened her eyes and looked at her two friends, her good humour somewhat restored it seemed by the even vague reference to Italy. “Al Colosseo a Roma...that makes sense now, I have seen the spaces for the lions.”

“What’s happened?” asked Amelia gently, leaning against the wall next to her friend, picking up that Teddy talking to Carina about idioms suggested it was ‘Maya as a patient’ related at its root cause. “Infection?” she guessed, mentally starting at the top of the ‘most likely complications’ list.

“No, it is…” Carina sighed and forced herself to really focus on working out a way to explain to her two closest friends what was going on. “...I do not find it easy to give the tough love and walk away when she is hurting…” Carina saw Amelia about to ask a question of Teddy. “...not her injuries, the past with her father.”

“Oh.” Amelia reached out and wrapped an arm around Carina to give her a hug. “That sucks, for both of you.” She had, in the last week, starting with Ben’s warning to back off about certain things concerning Maya and her family at the Station right before she learned about Halligans (which were awesome and she wanted one, badly), but especially since then in her chats with Mason, discovered quite what a shitty excuse for a human Lane Bishop sounded.

"Will she be OK? Are you OK?" Teddy didn't want to outright question Carina's approach she was taking, but compared to how present and patient she'd been these last few days, this did seem a rather dramatic switch. "And I’m sorry, I didn't know I was in dangerous territory." 

“Si, grazie. Va bene…” Although she was speaking Italian, it was the sort of Italian her friends could understand, but Carina nevertheless forced herself to repeat what she’d just said in English to help her stick to English and not have to repeat herself with a translation. “Thank you, yes, it’s all ok. The....there is this phrase, ‘eyes forward’ that she was taught to live by. It is a simple statement with a complicated history…”

“Hell on earth more like…” Amelia looked contrite when she saw her interruption had surprised Carina. “...sorry, her brother’s mentioned it a bit, but I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“That is a good way of putting it though. For an adult it is not a good....mantra, and she had it very loud from very young which...but she has…” Carina stopped, not liking how that sentence was going to finish, so started again. “She is very strong and has done incredible things to understand it and herself and it makes me love her even more...but the brain is cruel and does not forget...right now it is a little whisper making her confused and a little angry. And doubt and anger is what the whisper feeds on and becomes a shout to make her show the ‘problem’ who is in charge.”

“The panic attack,” said Teddy quietly, thinking back to the ER when she’d gone on a hunch and got Carina in. 

“Si. She is...used to fixing things with energy and movement.” The soft smile on Carina’s face spoke of her love for that energy and movement. “That is her instinct, and when she felt she could not move…”

“You’re louder than the whisper…” muttered Amelia, wishing once again that she could go back and start over with Maya sooner, though she was glad she’d had the chance to learn her mistake on Christmas Day and been able to already try to make amends, and have the opportunity to start to show she’d changed her mindset before all this happened.

“I had not thought of it like that, but yes.” Carina looked to Teddy. “I do not think I have said thank you yet, for letting me see her when she first arrived. As difficult as it was, seeing her…” She bit her lip, trying to keep out the image of her girlfriend lying on the treatment table, unable to see any of the dark blue of her uniform because, in retrospect, Carina now understood it was because it had all been cut away by the time she was there.

“It was the right thing to do, and I’m just glad she was here, with us and we could do that for her, and for you...”

“Grazie.” Carina started to feel a little overwhelmed by her friends’ kindness, but now she was this far in, she knew she needed to continue and in the absence of immediate access to her therapist, the two surgeons were acceptable substitutes and, as their friends, would not think less of Maya or her as a result. “...it becomes complicated when I am what this ‘whisper’ is making the problem, and very messy if it is shouting not whispering...”

“Oh, that’s…” Teddy had a sudden epiphany as the fragments of memory from Carina’s comments while she and Maya were broken up combined with what she’d heard Maya say that day by the coffee cart. But she snapped her mouth shut, not wishing to bring up more difficult memories for her friend, only Carina was, naturally, slightly ahead of her.

“...how we reached a point where we broke? And why I forgave her so  _ ‘easily’ _ ?” she asked, glancing at Amelia, making sure she knew she was included in this retelling, Carina understanding why she’d maybe looked a little too generous in her forgiveness and appreciating Amelia’s protectiveness, but things were different now and, now all the evidence was out there for Amelia to see, Carina wasn’t quite so tolerant of reservations about Maya. “It was a shout that she had never before ignored, was required to follow above everything for her own...survival and the only way she could protect her brother…” Carina shrugged, not worrying about the tears she could feel falling now, thinking about the missed meals and the marathon walks home and all the other small, tiny tortures that man inflicted unchecked on her wonderful, beautiful, brilliant love. “...but she told it, and him to fuck off...”

There was a long moment while Amelia and Teddy both registered that, possibly for the first time ever, they’d heard her swear directly in English with all the emotion in her voice, rather than the more usual emotional swearing happening in Italian and Carina providing a straightforward, matter of fact translation of the profanity in English, without the emotion. Oblivious to their reaction however, Carina just shrugged, and continued in her more normal tone.

“....and that is why her father’s photograph and details were already on the hospital security system and you have never seen him and he has not tried to visit her since the shooting.” It was one of the few smart things he’d done in the time Carina had known Maya, understanding after a couple of attempts at the Station and their home that the court had not been messing around and if he tried to break the order it would not work out well for him.

“The restraining order the fire chief guy mentioned in the press thing?” Amelia hadn’t had a chance to discuss how amazing all of that was, having not seen Maya for more than a few seconds to extract Mason during ‘the hug crisis’ as she, Teddy and Miranda had taken to thinking about it as. “And she was phenomenal…”

“Si, but he specifically only mentioned the restraining order the Department has to stop him approaching her. He was already denied access here.”

“Wait, there are more?” Teddy’s curiosity got ahead of her conscience. “Sorry, none of my business, forget I asked.”

“No, you are fine, I forgot, you do not know…” From Amelia’s quiet, Carina suspected Mason had told her already, but she wasn’t going to ask. “...When the Department Lawyers prepared the court request for Maya, she asked for the same type of order prevent him from approaching me, Mason and her mother. And the Judge agreed. He cannot come here, the Station or our home, or any scene Maya is at unless he is the casualty. I would only see him if he needed a doctor in the street and I was the only one, because although I hate him for what he did to her, I am...” She stopped worrying about finding the words in any language to finish that sentence, knowing her fellow doctors understood what she was saying. “That is why that question was answered by the Chief and the Department had everything prepared for follow-up. It requires a lot of investigation of the court papers to find the details about her requests, because they are….bundled up with the Department order. But it was her, not them.”

“Is it weird that I think that’s rather romantic?” asked Amelia, surprising herself with how much she was affected by what she was learning about her friend and her girlfriend. “In a really, really horrible thing for Maya and you to have to go through but hooray for the good guys winning for once sort of way?”

“If it is, we’re weird together,” said Teddy, agreeing with Amelia, “...if that’s alright with you?”

“Si. I was very surprised when she told me she had prepared to make the request, and wanted to make the request whether we managed to properly reconcile or not…and I am biased, but at the court she was magnifica.”

“Wait, was this....that day in your office, she was on your couch…” Amelia went to elbow Teddy for a rather loud raised eyebrow, but the surgeon rather nimbly stepped out of elbowing range, though she did quieten her eyebrow. “...about a week after the coffee cart?”

“The day you found her asleep on my couch in her uniform? Si, we only found out the evening before we were at the court as the first case in the morning, when she was already on shift.” Carina chuckled at Amelia and Teddy’s shocked expressions. “It sounds harsh but it is not. It is all done at speed to establish the protection…” She saw their faces cloud with worry, realising what they were thinking. “Si, you are right, that is what happens when the abuse is life endangering. This was a little different - the rush was because she is a Fire Captain and the Department was asking for the order to stop him interfering at a fire...which is very dangerous to other people’s lives and he had already done that. With her? He was cruel and manipulative but the abuse did not break her body physically.”

“Wasn’t that the day PacWest…”

“...had the bombs? Si. That was Maya’s scene, her team found the bombs.” Carina made a mental note to at some point try and explain a bit more of her girlfriend’s job to her friends, now the tone of their interest was shifting, Teddy’s because Carina knew she was forming a bond with Maya that she thought would be good for both of them, and Amelia’s because she now had enough pieces of a puzzle she had felt unable to complete before. “Maya was on shift through the night until 8, we were in court straight away at 9, and my shift, it started at 10 but Miranda knew I would be a little or a lot late. After the decision, we did not really have time to...take a moment after the judge’s words because he was also there and I had already been paged for an emergency surgery. She did not have her keys or clothes, she had come straight from a fire and still had her helmet and everything so I brought her here. It is not flowers and candlelight...”

“Pfft, that’s cheesy amateur stuff by comparison,” said Amelia promptly, trying to wrap her head around all the complexity Carina was summarising in such a few sentences. “And makes me want to see if she can give Link some tips, though he has mastered the chocolates…sorry, so, what’s prompted the tough love this morning?”

“I put my foot in it,” said Teddy simply, knowing that she had literally seen the moment Maya’s whole demeanour had shifted, “though I have no idea how. I thought she’d be pleased that she could try standing up and walking.”

“She can? That’s awesome news.” Amelia knew just from listening to Teddy’s update at the press conference, nevermind the bonus visit to the OR yesterday morning, that for Maya to be even attempting standing up today was great progress. “How does that turn Captain Softie into Captain Punchy?”

“It is not the standing and the walking, and it is not you. It was that to stand and walk she needed the expertise of occupational therapy who we remembered do not work again until Monday and you remembered today was Saturday because you had asked why I wanted the newspaper.” Having remembered that today had been supposed to be a Saturday that Carina and Maya both had off, Carina thought she would at least keep one element of their ‘lazy weekend day off’ routine, which was buying the newspaper with the very big crossword in it and seeing how bad they were at doing it. “And Captain Softie si, Captain Punchy? No, that is not a nickname you will use, even as a joke.” The sudden steel in Carina’s voice reduced Amelia’s response to a simple nod of agreement

“She’s used to fixing things with energy and movement…” Teddy saw Carina’s surprise as she brought them back to the original topic. “...that’s what you said a minute ago.

“Si, and when people are stuck they call the fire department. The two together? Having it pointed out that she cannot do the moving and is stuck if she tries fixing on her own? That she must wait for helpers?” Carina exhaled loudly, her left hand miming something exploding. “That is difficult, but if I am with her now…”

“You become the person telling her she needs the help and has to go slowly…” said Teddy, starting to understand and seeing the parallels with the argument she and Bailey had walked in on, when Maya’s fear of scaring away Mason in the part of herself she kept hidden from everyone else but Carina prompted her to pick a fight with her girlfriend.

“Si. Usually she would make some space from the stress and do her work to silence the evil voice, but since she cannot make the space I am giving it to her...but that unfortunately helps the little whisper get stronger...”

“...because it rubs in that she can’t be the one to make the space...” saw Amelia, now understanding too. “...god that sucks, for both of you.” She looked at Carina, knowing she probably couldn’t cope with a hug right now, hell, Amelia wasn’t sure she could cope with a hug right now, and she was just listening, not living it. “How can we help?” 

“As friends who love you both, not doctors,” added Teddy, agreeing with Amelia.

“Would…” Amelia started to think aloud, seeing how exhausting this horrible, painful situation was for Carina, better able to understand now that Maya wasn’t not hurting through all of this too. “...it help if it wasn’t new people?”

“Eh?”

“When she has a go at the standing and walking. Would it help if it was, say us three rather than you and OT? I’m guessing that’s the better way round, rather than benching you for someone she didn’t know as well?” Amelia had no idea how anyone would succeed in getting Maya to not overdo it without Carina there, but felt it had to be logically considered, if only to present it as an option for Carina to take a break if she needed it. “I think it’s too soon for her brother…”

“Given before the standing she will have to put on some sort of clothing and I will probably say baciami more than once for both our sakes, si.”

“He leaves the room or looks out of the window if there’s a risk of him seeing anything…” explained Teddy for Amelia’s benefit, smiling when she remembered Mason’s appearance in the middle of the unofficial ‘team debrief’ she’d been a part of when Maya’s team had come to visit her on New Year’s Eve. “...and that I think means kiss or something though Mason’s decided it means look out the window?”

“Si, ‘baciami’ - it means ‘kiss me’. And Andrea is much the same...”

“Bac-ia-mi…” said Teddy again, something else clicking into place. “I thought I heard her say ‘back me’ which made no sense...”

“In Recovery? Si, that was what it probably sounded like, but no…” Carina was blushing as she remembered that moment but didn’t care, although she’d not realised Teddy had still been there. “...her first words after the big surgery were attempts at my name and wanting me to kiss her. Would you mind?”

“Mind?”

“Helping me help her with the first time she stands and walks. I think that is a good idea. It would only be for the very first time, she is very good at learning how to do something from the right people, it is the understanding she cannot just ‘do’ and needs to do some learning first that is the difficult part. I would ask Vic but...”

“We’re already here,” said Teddy quickly, picking up that there was something else Carina was concerned about if she was picking someone from the station that wasn’t Andy, with Teddy’s own Army experience telling her that it probably had something to do with rank and not something that Carina needed to worry about just now. “This is more your area than ours…”

“Eh?” Carina hadn’t followed the topic change.

“Standing up after abdominal surgery - that’s the bigger problem, isn’t it? Rather than the…” Teddy was about to start listing things but changed tack quickly, “...everything else?”

“Oh, umm…” Carina forced her brain to switch into work mode, trying to factor in the ‘everything else’. “Si, the ribs make the collarbone a little harder to protect but they will only argue as she stands. It is the ankle and her general stability I would worry about, as a wobble…” She mimed being pulled slightly off balanced, “...will tax the abdominal muscles and disturb the ribs and collarbones and so and so…”

“Do you think you can talk her through it like an OT could?” Amelia had caught onto Teddy’s way of thinking. “Because we can be the extra help and avoid her incisions and stuff, but actually knowing how to tell her to do it right? I don’t know about you…” She turned to Teddy, “...but the first time I used my legs after I’d give birth to Scout I was just hanging from Link’s arms and I think I’d delivered most of my abdominal muscles along with the placenta.”

“You did not…” chided Carina, nevertheless amused by her best friend’s story. “...though Link was definitely holding you up, I do remember that.”

“I…” It took Teddy a moment to remember the first time she stood up after giving birth to Alison. “...think it was Carina...yeah, you were the one who helped me stand up I think?”

“Si...you were very stubborn and wanted to walk to see Alison because she was asleep in the crib and were certain she would wake if I brought her to you…” Carina’s face softened as she remembered her friend’s careful determination to see her baby and stand. “...and si, I can do the coaching like OT would…” Her shrug and expression, her lower lip caught between her teeth suggested she wasn’t entirely confident that her suggestions to Maya would be overly well received, but Teddy had anticipated that.

“If she doesn’t listen to you she’s not going to listen to OT and I’ll stick her back on bed rest with no visitors and she can go back to everything via IV and catheters.” Her firm statement, delivered by Major Altman rather than ‘Teddy’ had the desired effect of shocking the doubt out of Carina and restoring some of her friend’s fiery Sicilianness the Mayor had experienced first hand two days earlier. “But she’s going to listen to you and you’re going to hate me by the morning when she’s woken you at least twice in the night to help her go to the bathroom…” she teased, glad when she saw the smile returning to her friend’s face. “...except you’re not because you’re glaring at me again and going to say something sweet like she’d do the same for you.”

Carina sneezed. Twice.

“Ok, not glaring, sneezing. You ok? Do we need to test you for a virus?” At the back of Teddy’s mind she made a note to check that Andrew had sent all Mason’s bloods and the like for testing as a priority so there was nothing going to surprise them.

“No, it was looking at the bright lights to not cry. And you are right, I will not mind her waking me to help her.” It would, in Carina’s opinion, be a miracle if Maya did wake her for help, which was why Carina was extra glad Bailey had not needed any persuading that Carina should be allowed to stay with Maya every night so far and hoped it would stay that way, having a horror of Maya trying to manage on her own.

“Right, so I’ve got a quick surgery in, oh, half an hour, but I should be done by 3 and am not covering the ER as Maggie’s in, so am clear until...” She looked at Amelia for inspiration as to why she might think she had a later constraint on her time.

“Department Heads at 5? I’m catching up on Charts and stuff until then...had actually come down here to say hi and have a break as I’ve been at it since 8, well technically closer to 10 when Link took Scout off for an adventure.” 

It was Carina’s turn to have the very loud raised eyebrow. 

“Mer loves having the New Year’s Day brunch but hates clean-up. This morning it was...a good day for Scout and I to go visit Link for very early breakfast rather than wait for Link to come pick up Scout for their day out while I came in to do my paperwork. So we all came in for Maya’s scans, and Scout and I did charts while he presumably decided her ankle was good if she’s going to have a go at standing later?”

“It’s good enough that he’s agreed Maya can stand and walk for the moment with a strapping if necessary...that I need to chase PT for,” said Teddy, appreciating Amelia’s real question about whether she’d be in trouble with Link for letting his patient overdo it and glad of the reminder about the strapping. “I’ll do that before surgery. Should I come find you in your office after I’m done?” she asked, directing her question to Amelia.

“Sure, does that give you enough time Carina to…” Amelia wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence, so just started a new one. “If we then both come by about half three?” 

“Grazie, si,” she said, wondering for the umpteenth time what she would do without her friends.

“Alright then. Now, how about you? What can we do to help?”

“Va bene...no, it is ok, thank you,” promised Carina, feeling much better just from talking with them. “I was going to my office for a few minutes to do something, then will go back having bought the newspaper and some lunch and Maya will…” Maybe it was the stress of the last few days, or maybe it was because she’d felt the final melting of the last bit of coolness her best friend had clung onto about her reconciliation with Maya, but either way, Carina felt a new, lighter ease when it came to explaining why, grateful as she was for the offer, she really didn’t need any more help from them right now. “...I will be looked after by my ‘Captain Softie’ as you call her.”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t turned against me for that...or you.” said Amelia quietly, knowing that she’d meant it with affection but it could be rather easily misconstrued, taking seriously Carina’s warning.

“As long as you do not call her that in front of anyone from the Station, and it stays your tease about how she is with me you will be fine. And you will know when you have crossed the line because I will call you Dr Agnellino which is Dr ‘little lamb’ in the Pit and so will Bailey, only she does not speak Italian.” 

Carina, concerned now that she was going to have to rush to get what she wanted done in her office and get back to Maya as her original estimate hadn’t factored meeting her friends and getting their help, but feeling much better for their time and help now and later, thanked them both again, gave them tight hugs then set off to her office.

* * *

“Little Lamb?” said Teddy, once Carina was out of earshot. “Clever play on shepherd...” She was a little surprised Amelia had accepted it without push back.

“Yeah, and she has a point,” agreed Amelia, taking the warning in the spirit it was intended. “Wait, what’s Bailey got to do with it?”

“Oh, Bailey’s the official unofficial Station Mom now, rather than Carina…you didn’t know?” Teddy thought back to how she’d learned about this, realising it was prompted by her showing her SFD cap to Bailey which Amelia wasn’t around for. “Sorry, of course you don’t...buy me some lunch and I’ll tell you before my surgery?”

“Deal, and I’ll get Link to chase PT for you about Maya’s strapping too.” 

“Thanks. So, what do you know about the baseball cap on the bear…”

“In your office?”

“Carina’s.”

“Aren’t they the same?”

“The bear? Yes, the cap? No, so….” And, pausing at the nurse’s station to quickly check and sign off a drug order for one of her patients, the two surgeons left the ward, Teddy telling Amelia the story of how Carina very nearly almost, for a moment, became honorary ‘Mom’ to more than 40 firefighters and how that translated into the threat of Bailey calling Amelia ‘Dr Little Lamb’.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this epic wander through the lives of Maya, Carina and their friends and brothers...hope you enjoy this next chapter.

“Check out the licence plate,” said Mason, holding the tablet up for Maya to look at the image he’d paused the film at. “And ignore the fire truck, I’m sure it’s all wrong.”

“Engine,” said Maya automatically, nevertheless looking properly only at the licence plate.

“Huh?”

“Fire Engine...see that?” She pointed to the limited detail the animators had drawn into the back of the fire engine.

“Random splodges of colour to suggest big buttons or levers maybe? Yeah…”

“Close, they’re valves and switches. It’s got a water tank in it, so it’s an engine.”

“Seriously? That’s an actual thing?” He looked at her, a mixture of surprise and interest in his expression and voice.

“What? That we take water with us to scenes? Not everywhere has a hydrant just in the right place.”

“No, I get that. I meant that there was a proper difference between fire engines and fire trucks...I thought it was just, you know.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s a proper difference…” She looked back down at the screen. “...but you wanted me to look at the licence plate which is...oh, it’s A113. Wasn’t that…”

“...on the car earlier? Yeah. It’s an Easter Egg.” He paused, wondering if she knew what he meant. “You do know what those are right?”

“The hidden stuff in movies and games? I’m aware.” She knew there were some fierce competitions between the computer game obsessives on the various shifts as to who found the ‘easter eggs’ first whenever they got a new game for the Station’s whatever it was they had. “There’s an Xbox or Playstation something at the Station, think there’s a Grand Theft Auto competition going at the moment…”

“Do you play?” 

“Not much. I don’t play enough to be any good, and since I’m not any good…”

“...you don’t play, yeah.” He understood why she was like that, better than anyone. “They also appear in all sorts of movies, this one and the hidden Mickeys are probably the most famous though…”

“What’s it mean?”

“Hmm?” He’d been distracted, scouring the frame to see if he could spot a Mickey now he’d remembered them. “Oh, A113? It’s a classroom somewhere, can’t remember where.”

“Classroom? Why?” Maya wasn’t sure what she was expecting it to mean, but would never have guessed that.

“It’s where the first year class on some graphics course is taught, like every one of the directors went there, so I guess it’s a bit of a shout-out? Like thanking their teachers or something?” He put the tablet down in his lap and leaned back against the pillow, looking sideways at his sister who was sitting up. Were it not for her right arm being in the support thing, and the shirt having the back missing so it was easier for her to put on, he could almost picture her sitting at a desk talking about her work, so much better was she looking compared to four days ago.

“Clever.” Maya wasn’t that good at watching movies closely, never had been, but he always had. “What are hidden mickeys?” Maya’s brain had immediately provided her with all the calls she’d had to someone, usually but not always, female, who was in difficulties after having their drink spiked with drugs, but she didn’t want to bring that up.

“Oh, it’s when there’s a Mickey Mouse hidden in another film…” Mason didn’t even bother trying to continue watching the film to find one, but used the tablet to search the internet, certain there was probably a website somewhere that had some examples. “...here…” He held the page he’d found out for her to look at. “...like the ears and head in clouds, or a stuffed toy in a children’s bedroom set...stuff like that...”

“Ciao bella…” called out Carina, coming through the door. “...and ciao Mason,” she added, surprised but in a good way to see him sitting on the bed next to Maya, who had clearly worked her way through her grump.

“Hi Carina, I’ll…” Mason started to move, but the doctor waved for him to stay put.

“Stay, I can come this side now.” Putting down what she’d been carrying, Carina automatically washed her hands, but then came up Maya’s right side. “Bene?” she asked quietly as she carefully sat down on the edge of the bed by her girlfriend’s hip, able to do so now Maya no longer had any lines or drains.

“Yeah.” Maya’s smile was cautious, but not because of Carina sitting on her injured side, her faith in her girlfriend’s ability to know how to not disturb her injuries absolute. “I’m sorry…”

“Va bene bella…” Carina leaned in and kissed Maya softly, understanding what she was trying to apologise for. “...you are allowed to have feelings, and allowed to get angry.”

“Yes, but I shouldn’t inflict it on you.”

“If not me then who?” asked Carina, genuinely confused by her girlfriend’s view. “I agree, I do not like it when you are angry  _ with  _ me, as I know you do not like it when I am angry  _ with  _ you. But you were not angry with me...you were angry at your situation si?”

“Not even that…” Maya took a careful, deep breath, absently noting how her chest didn’t hurt quite so much when she did that compared to a couple of days ago. “...I was just...in a mood.”

“Si, and you are very good at taking your mood for a walk, so today I let you stay still with your mood while I took me for a walk,” observed Carina pragmatically, wondering if Maya had properly worked through her ‘mood’ or whether she’d only half done so, in which case Carina mentioning going for a walk would push them back to where they were.

“Was it a good walk?” asked Maya, studying her girlfriend’s face carefully, thinking she could see faint hints of tears still, but not wanting to push.

“Si...what are you watching?”

“Oh, we were looking at Easter Eggs.”

“But it is only January 2nd..2nd?” Carina did a quick countback to check she had it right. “Si, the year is only two days old and you are thinking about Easter chocolate?” She looked at Maya with an amused smile. “Is he the one who got the sweet tooth then?”

“Yes, but...you explain Mas…” encouraged Maya, sinking back into the pillow, wishing she could touch Carina with her right hand, but all she could do was wiggle her fingers at her.

“They’re just little details in a film scene, like a particular number used for licence plates or office doors, that mean something to the people working on the film.”

“Ah, like having Miranda on your wall?”

“Miranda on the wall?” Maya opened her eyes and tried to look at her brother but settled for raising her eyebrow at Carina, as where her head was, trying to look at Mason just made her cross-eyed.

“Oh, have I ruined a surprise?”

“No, I just forgot I hadn’t shown May…” Mason got down from the bed and went over to the camp bed where he’d left his notebook - the first sign that he was perhaps adjusting to his new circumstances and not needing to keep it on him at all times no matter what. “...you know my idea is to do a Teddy Bear’s picnic type thing?”

“Mmm, I remember.” Maya was slightly distracted, watching Carina as she moved around the end of the bed and came to sit on the bed by Maya’s left side, though she sat angled towards Maya rather than fully on the bed next to her. “What are you going to do when it gets taller?”

“I thought I’d do a bit of a rainforest type tree canopy with animals and birds in it...not sure how old the kids on the wards up there are, but if they’re young, maybe another picnic, or a tea party...and in between I thought I’d do a view of the City and the Sound?”

“That would be amazing…” It never occurred to Maya to question whether he could do all that. “Where does Miranda fit in?”

“Do you remember I had an idea I’d do some of the bears at the picnic dressed up like doctors and stuff?” Maya nodded, fully absorbed in what he was telling her. “Well, I started having a bit of a go at bears generally, but, umm…” He turned to the page where, in the corner, were two little bears next to each other, one in a doctor’s white coat, one wearing a firefighter’s helmet. “...I kinda drew this by mistake…” He passed the notebook to Carina who didn’t look at it until she’d turned around and was now sitting next to Maya so they could look at it together.

“That’s us…” Maya, very aware of her brother’s talent, was almost speechless. “...I mean, they’re bears, but…”

“We are cute as little bears,” said Carina, smiling at Mason, feeling Maya reach for her hand and their fingers tangle together, which not only made Carina’s smile soften and grow, but she turned her head and kissed her girlfriend's cheek. 

“Everyone round here thinks you’re pretty cute anyway…” said Mason, only to immediately blush and stammer when he was on the receiving end of his sister’s glare. “...I meant as a couple…”

“Si…” agreed Carina, carefully nudging Maya with her arm to encourage her to let him off. “...Amelia and Teddy say you have ‘won’ at romance and should give the guys lessons.”

“Hmm.” Maya relaxed back into the smile her team called her ‘Carina-smile’ which was somehow infectious, confirming that a happy Captain was a happy Station. “I see your fifteen Mas and raise you to...infinity and beyond,” making her brother laugh.

“That is…” Carina was trying to work out how that worked, not recognising the catchphrase immediately, but finding there was something almost familiar about it.

“It’s a line from a film,” said Mason, struggling to picture the elegant Italian ever watching Toy Story. “Toy Story? Came out when I was 4...was it the first time I went to the cinema?”

“Yeah. I think it was the first time you realised grown ups did drawing...” said Maya quietly, aware Carina was puzzling over something.

“Ah...‘Il mondo dei giocattoli’....verso l'infinito e oltre! That is what Buzz says yes?”

“How…”

“We do have your cinema in Italy Mason…” teased Carina, handing him back his notebook so he could find the picture he’d drawn of Miranda for Maya to see. “...but it is dubbed with Italian voices so it is a bit strange sometimes...will you show Maya Miranda’s drawing per favore?”

“Oh, right...so, I drew you two by accident, but when I was with Dr Bailey and she saw that, she asked me to draw her as a bear…” He found the right page and passed it back over to Carina to show Maya. “...it’s really quick and rough though.”

Maya looked at it in silence, genuinely speechless at her brother’s talent, but her silence was making him nervous.

“It’s good no?” prompted Carina, slipping her right arm behind Maya and starting to tease the once more silky soft short hairs at the top of her girlfriend’s neck.

“It’s incredible…” agreed Maya, finally able to find some words. “...it’s...a teddy bear looking like a surgeon if you don’t know her, but if you do it’s her, but it’s kind?” Her nose and mouth twitched for a split second, the only hint that gave away how she was still wrestling with the emotion of seeing his talent so casually and brilliantly displayed. “I’m explaining it badly, but I mean it’s not like a caricature, it’s...brilliant.” She looked up at him. “Did she like it?”

“Yeah, she wants to be in the picture like that, picked her spot right away.”

“Picked her spot? What do you mean?”

“Oh, right...umm...about that.” Mason scrubbed his hand through the hair at the back of his head. “Yeah, I never actually told you...umm, so that night I went with Dr Bailey, that was the second, uh, I guess you could say ‘shovel talk’ I got.”

“Who gave you the first one?” asked Carina, familiar with the phrase and, knowing the gist of his conversation with the Chief of Surgery, able to appreciate why he was calling it a ‘shovel talk’.

“Umm…” Mason shot a ‘what do I do?’ look at Maya.

“Andrew.”

“Mamma mia, mio stupido fratellino lo scuoterò finché quello stupido cappello non cade…”

“I have no idea what that means but it sounds like you’re mad with him?” asked Mason quickly, slightly annoyed with his sister for dumping the news on Carina like that - he’d wanted her help yes, but he’d forgotten she really didn’t do much in talking ‘around’ a point.

“Si, he was rude.”

“No, he was being your brother, and he was right. It was just after you’d gone off with Dr Al...Teddy, he just said if all that I’d come back for was to check my sister was alive, I could go, because she was. But if I stayed, I was staying because I wanted to see her, and if I wanted to see her I had to stay….at least, that was his point...and I couldn’t leave, I kept trying to stand up, see I was terrified of seeing Maya, but I was also...I stayed that night for you.” It was strange, but having told Maya, he was finding it easier to talk about it now.

“Scusa?” It had taken Carina a moment to work out he was talking to her, not Maya.

“This is so different to how I’ve been, out there...it was, is hard to think about it all changing in an instant, even before I think about…” He swallowed thickly, his eyes darting down the hospital bed and back, including Maya’s situation but unable to verbalise it. “If I tried thinking about it, my thoughts went everywhere and I couldn’t think about everything at once, and trying to think about seeing May again...that just started too many thoughts at once. And then I…” He reached for his notebook and turned to a page no one had seen yet. “...I drew this when I was in the plant room, listening to Andy talk about Christmas Day…” He passed it over to them, guessing correctly that they’d been expecting to see Andy. “...yeah, not Andy, you. I couldn’t draw it til then, but that was what I kept seeing, after Andrew had said what he did.”

“That’s…” Carina saw herself collapsed against an anonymous shoulder, wearing her regular clothes she’d worn to work on Tuesday, looking exactly how she’d felt - like something vital was missing from her. “...me...when?” She recognised herself but couldn’t place when in the hours and hours during which the planet seemed determined to turn at half or even quarter speed while she waited for Maya to be out of surgery.

“About 10pm I guess...that’s Travis, I came back from...doesn’t matter, and thought you were sleeping but he was talking to you.”

“Si.” Carina could feel Maya squeezing her hand tight, and squeezed it back. “You came and sat down next to me again...I took your hand?”

“Yeah. It was about midnight I think...Andrew was back from his surgery, you’d gone with Teddy to see May...and Andrew’s words made me realise I couldn’t leave because as scared as I was of what staying and seeing Maya might mean, not staying meant that you’d have to tell Maya I’d been and gone.” He looked from her to the sketch she was still holding. “And, I dunno why but I just knew I couldn’t do that to someone who loved my sister this much.” He shrugged, sniffing. “So I figured I’d stay long enough to tell Maya myself that I was glad she was going to be ok and that I didn’t want to stay…” He took a deep breath and smiled. “...so it was you that got me in here...and then...then Dr Bailey took me downstairs to look at the wall the second time…” He took the notebook back and turned so they could see the bear that looked a bit like Bailey again. “...she made everything in my head that was so messy and difficult so simple and that was when I knew I wasn’t just staying because I didn’t know how to tell you I was going again, but because I wanted to stay...and then she picked her spot for her bear and drew on the wall.”

“Bailey drew on the wall?”

“Maya!” Carina tapped her girlfriend’s knuckles with her finger, not quite able to bring herself to elbow her, but making it clear she wasn’t overly impressed. “That is what you take from what he has just told us?”

“No, but…” Maya looked at Mason with such pride. “...he knows what I think and crying makes my ribs hurt.”

“It’s good, really,” said Mason, not at all phased by his sister’s reaction, not least because unlike Carina she already knew about Andrew’s contribution to his rapid learning curve about the people who were now gathered around his sister, and who by all accounts were willing to include him in their lives if he was prepared to give his sister a chance. “And she already knew some of that, we, uh, talked some more.”

“Si? Bene.” 

Carina turned and kissed Maya so carefully Mason almost stood up and went to look out the window again, which he knew was becoming in some ways a bit of a joke, but he meant it sincerely - the amount of feeling they had for each other was so clear he felt like the worst sort of intruder in what was so obviously a private, intimate moment between them. It was also helping him to understand that his sister had been able to put their father behind her, to not only heal from the wounds inflicted by him, but to find love how it was supposed to be, in all its forms with a new family of firefighters and doctors and, at its centre, the deep love he’d seen in paintings and books but not believed existed in the real world...and gave him hope that she was finally starting to be able to find the peace he’d come to find with painting, which he’d once assumed she got from running and hated her for, but now knew how wrong he’d been.

“But he is teasing you still a little bit…” said Carina when she settled back against the raised section of the bed again, fixing an amused stare in Mason’s direction. “...saying Bailey drew on the wall.”

“She did...ok, so it was a small circle that she coloured in, but it’s technically a shape so it’s a drawing...and then we both signed the wall, like a sort of contract I guess.”

“He showed me yesterday while Teddy and Bailey were making you tidy in theatre,” said Carina simply, deciding ‘tidy’ was a suitable euphemism for what Maya had needed without upsetting Mason.

“I should probably take a photo with it so you can see it…” said Mason thoughtfully, it only properly hitting him then that his sister was the one person who hadn’t yet ‘met’ his wall....and the one person he really, really wanted to see it.

“Or you could show her in person this afternoon if she wants to visit it in person,” said Carina with a careful indifference, wanting to see how Maya reacted to the idea without putting her under too much pressure.

“Really? How?” Mason was visibly excited at that idea, partly because he did want Maya to see the wall, silly as it sounded, but also because he realised what that meant in terms of her recovery progress.

“If you want to?” asked Carina quietly, shuffling enough so she could look properly at her visibly confused girlfriend, taking the lack of immediate grumpiness as a good sign.

“Of course I want to, but I thought…” 

That had been the start of Maya’s bad mood, when Teddy had said that Maya could try standing up and walking later, only for Maya to ask the logical (if you were Maya) question why she couldn’t do so then and there. By the time Teddy had explained she’d need help standing for the first time and they needed time to organise the occupational therapists and the strapping Link wanted for her ankle, then remembered it was a Saturday and that OT were...conspicuous in their absence at weekends, Maya’s bad mood had evolved and was fast approaching a full blown temper that would have been a very big fight if Carina hadn’t interrupted Teddy and encouraged her friend she was probably done for now, having a fairly good idea what was going on instead her girlfriend’s head. 

It was not long after that, when Maya had continued to get grumpier and frustrated with herself for being grumpy at Carina of all people, she’d been firmly told by Carina that she was going for a walk to give Maya the space she needed and to remember her work with Dr Lewis, but that she would be back, which was Maya’s other great worry always, that she’d push Carina too far.

“...that you needed to wait for Monday? No mi amore…” Carina leaned in and rested her forehead against Maya’s wishing she could hug her but knowing that would be catastrophic. “...this afternoon you and I can have a very small adventure if you will permit Teddy and Amelia to help me?”

“Really?”

“Si. But only a very small one as you do have to wait for Monday to plan bigger adventures in case you need to have the lessons from the occupational therapists about how to move in the best way so you heal as fast and as well as you can…” Carina saw Maya start to frown and open her mouth to question her, but she kept talking. “...but I will not discuss with you until after our very small adventure is finished....”

“Because you think I’ll be more likely to agree with you...” Maya’s grumpiness returned like a kneejerk reaction, but it was token compared to how it might have been if she hadn’t had time to work on silencing the ‘eyes forward’ voice. It also meant Carina was able to hear it and not rise to the bait.

“...because I know you have had bruised ribs and sore muscles before, and am prepared to accept that you might not need many lessons. But we will discuss it after you have seen how your current situation compares to your previous bumps.” Carina almost laughed at the look of surprise on her girlfriend’s face, but instead just kissed her confused nose to show she wasn’t offended. 

“Si, that was why I interrupted Teddy, but you were too grumpy for me to explain to you and to Teddy that in my experience the abdominal muscles are very unpredictable in how they react to being allowed to move again. Some of my patients find even the smallest movement very difficult to work out how to manage with minimal anger from the muscles, and others are already there with the right instincts as soon as they stand up. I do not think it is my incisions that make the difference, but I have not been able to see what there could be to shape the pattern.” 

It was thoughts like that which confirmed Carina’s commitment to research within her specialty, not tempted by the promises of megariches by drug companies to take her research out of the hospital environment, as she was fundamentally still a doctor motivated by one thing, and one thing only - she wanted to help women be healthy and well with as little pain and discomfort as possible, and was open to any and all ideas that might bear fruit. 

“So I am prepared to believe that there is a chance you will have good instincts, but am also not prepared to let you believe it will be easy because my patients do not have the broken collarbone and ribs or the upset ankle as well. I had forgotten, until Teddy started speaking about them, that there is no OT until Monday, and then, while on my walk, I was trying to think about how you could have a very small adventure when Teddy and Amelia found me and provided the solution.”

“Oh.” Maya was completely thrown by Carina’s explanation. “I…”

“...are magnifica bella, and we were stood on the wrong leg when Teddy said you were healed enough that moving a little is now good for you…” She smiled, recognising Maya’s little twitch. “...caught on the wrong foot…” She might have got that one wrong deliberately to try and stop Maya going too deep into her thoughts, only to see the little twitch again. “...it is still wrong? How?”

“Back foot.”

“No…” Carina wasn’t convinced. “...it is not back footed, that is not right…”

“Ah, no. That’s wrong footed...it’s caught on the back foot.” Maya thought for a moment, having not said the two phrases together like that before, making a connection. “I think it comes from running, sort of.”

“Si?”

“Mmm, if...Mas?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember my starting position when I was racing?”

“Err, yeah...which one do you mean? Distance or Sprints?” He’d not thought about it in years, but could still picture her doing starting drills at the track while he waited for her after school, so was pretty confident he could mimic a position or two for her to explain something to her girlfriend.

“Distance...could you show Carina it for me?”

“Ok…” Confused as to why she wanted him to do this, he duly pushed the chair back to make a bit of space and mimicked the standing start ‘ready to run’ position that had around half his weight on his front leg which was slightly bent, his back leg out behind him bent slightly more sharply with only his toes on the ground. “...or did you mean the next one?” 

“Next one please…” Maya waited while he went into a slight crouch, moving more of his weight onto his front leg. “...see? Most of his weight’s on his front leg to help him start quickly when he drives with his arms. If he wasn’t ready to run...thanks Mas…” Maya and Carina watched as he went from the ‘get set’ position to the slightly more relaxed ‘on your marks’ position, then stepped out of the starting stance completely. “...if the race started right now he’d start really slowly because…”

“His feet are wrong for a quick start, that’s caught on the back foot?”

“Think so, yeah. Wrong footed is maybe more running in something like soccer...but it’s still the weight is on the wrong leg so you have to work hard to go the right way quickly...or like us in fires if we don’t pick our routes carefully”

“Ah, si...zig when you should zag. Bene.” Carina’s big problem with idioms in English was when she had no understanding of the mechanics of them, as then they just became random words connected together. But once they made sense, like the feeding to the lions from earlier, they stuck much better. “So Teddy mentioning you could get out of bed caught both of us on the back foot, and then I wrong-footed you with our plan to help you see how it goes today, si?” Carina didn’t think she’d ever managed to use two idioms in the same sentence correctly before, not to mention actually hearing Maya sharing her knowledge about the technical side of running without being prompted or coaxed.

“Yes...and I’m sorry.”

“Were you angry with me?”

“No! Of course not...I was angry at...myself for needing help standing up, which is stupid because I have all these holes in me that need time to heal.”

“Si, it is a little stupid of you to be angry at yourself because it is not your fault you have the holes but it is understandable that you are frustrated at being in this situation when you did nothing to encourage it...and I know you were not angry with me, so I did not get angry with you. Am I a little frustrated that you had to waste your energy being angry? Si. Am I a lot angry that you have to use your energy to then do your work on sorting out your anger? Assolutamente, but I can never be angry at you for doing your work, I am so, so proud of you bellissima for that and so I took my anger at everyone and everything but you for a walk.”

“I…” Maya opened her mouth, then closed it again and looked past Carina to her brother. “...Mas?”

“Huh?” He looked up from his drawing and immediately took in how they were sitting, how his sister was looking at him. “Baciami, got it…” He put his sketch book down and with a cheeky grin headed over to the window and looked out at the view.

“Not what I was going to say…” muttered Maya, shaking her head with amusement.

“No?” Carina was amused and surprised. “His accent is better than yours.”

“Hey!” Maya stuck her tongue out at her girlfriend. “And now I can’t remember what I was going to say, but I like his idea…” She looked at Carina, wishing she could absorb into her brain all the tiny details and moments like her brother could, but knowing she just had to keep looking and learning every moment she was lucky enough to get with her amazing, wonderful, brilliant girlfriend. “...I am sorry there is stuff about me, about how I am, that makes you angry on my behalf as I hate it when you are upset about anything, never mind something connected with me, but I’m so, so grateful you put up with me being a frustrating idiot because you help make everything better and easier and without you I’d never be here in the sense of being able to do my work and not be angry all the time...and that you hang around even when I do get angry...I...I love you so much.”

“Ti amo bella.” Carina was planning on kissing Maya, only to see she’d started to cry. “Ssshh...bella….tu sarai un idiota e io sarò me. Tranne le volte in cui sono un idiota e tu sarai te e mi aiuterai come nessun altro può fare. Oggi, domani, a turno facciamo l'idiota. E a volte saremo idioti insieme.”

“I don’t know what that means...but it sounded amazing,” sniffed Maya, smiling through her tears. “Have you just told me your thoughts on your Resident or me?” she joked, glad when she made her girlfriend shake her head and smile, trying to recover some sort of emotional equilibrium. “Because the only word I think I recognised there was idiot so it could go either way…” 

“If it were my Resident it would be ‘sbadato imbecille’...careless imbecile…” She snuck a brief kiss then went back over what she’d said, translating as she went. “...Tu sarai un idiota e io sarò me. Tranne le volte in cui sono un idiota e tu sarai te e mi aiuterai come nessun altro può fare….it’s like you said, you’ll be an idiot and I will be me, except for the times when I am the one being the idiot and you are the one who helps me like no one else can…” Another sneaked kiss, though it didn’t help her memory. “Umm...si...Oggi, domani, a turno facciamo l'idiota….today, tomorrow we can take turns being the idiot…” That made Maya smile, and Carina kissed her again, woman enough to not even pretend she was doing so to make sure Maya didn’t laugh and hurt her ribs. “...e...e a volte saremo idioti insieme….and some days we’ll idiots together…”

“...I like the sound of that…” said Maya quietly, feeling the final fizzing whisper of rage leave her, a warmth and calmness she had no real memory of ever feeling before she found it with Carina filling her in its place, her eyes drifting closed when she felt Carina’s forehead touch against hers again, their noses nudging as they settled against each other, finding their natural fit. “...of being your idiot…”

“Baciami bella…” And as Carina leaned in and caught Maya’s lips with hers, she had one final coherent thought...she liked the sound of being Maya’s idiot too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Il mondo dei giocattoli’....verso l'infinito e oltre! - Toy Story was titled 'Toy Story: the World of Toys' in Italy when it was released, and yes, that's 'to infinity and beyond'  
> mio stupido fratellino lo scuoterò finché quello stupido cappello non cade…my stupid little brother I'll shake him until that stupid [Santa Hat] hat falls...
> 
> And the Fire Engine with licence plate A113 happens to be in Lilo and Stitch...but if you hadn't heard about the A113 Easter Eggs before, google A113 Pixar and you'll get the whole story about how it is the classroom number exactly as Mason describes...


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience in getting back to the 'idiots in love' part of the story. Writing is my escape...it lets me escape twice over - once when I'm writing the story and again, when I return to it as a reader. Reading comments telling me how my rambling stories are helping some of you through these especially weird times wherever you are in the world is...genuinely mind blowing. So thank you. If you've got this far with me, you've already given me so much of your time and attention....it's all quite incredible and overwhelming.
> 
> Anyway...we're back to puppies, still with the 'idiots in love' part...but time also to iron out another of those pesky canon shortcomings because yes, I'm fixing EVERYTHING ;-)
> 
> Enjoy....and thank you for reading

“They’re so much bigger…”

“Si. Here….” Carina gave Maya back her phone. “...Vic sent them to me also…” Carina took advantage of the bed’s width and shuffled slightly away from Maya’s left side, grinning when she heard the rather pitiful ‘awww’ sound Maya made at the loss of contact. “Patience bella…” Carina turned onto her right hip, bringing her body back into faint contact with Maya’s left side and arm, cheering her girlfriend up immensely, only for it to disappear again when Carina had pulled her phone out from the back pocket of her jeans. “...Ah, si…” As she was scrolling through the messages Vic had sent them both, Carina was instinctively shuffling back into her original position. “...start it again per favore?” She glanced at Maya’s phone, waiting until she’d got the video started. “Bene, the yellow band and the green band...” 

She smiled when she realised Maya had worked out what she was trying to do, as Maya had paused the video again, with the two little puppies clearly trying to burrow under the foster dog, presumably in some fundamental instinctive search for either milk or warmth.

“...the yellow band is the puppy that kept climbing on her sister.”

“Are you sure?” Maya looked more closely at the screen. “Because here the green band puppy is the one with the upper paw.”

“Let me see…” Carina leaned into Maya’s left shoulder so she could see the screen more easily. “...si, yellow puppy is the one who tried to use her sister as a ladder to try and sleep in my hair, I see the little light patch on her bottom. The one who was being climbed on had a dark patch on the other side of her bottom.”

“How do you know that?” Maya wasn’t disputing her girlfriend’s insight, but considering they’d not seen the puppies since Christmas Day, that was impressive attention to detail. “And why were you looking at their bottoms? I thought Warren did the whole are they little boys or girls checks when we first had them handed to us?” Maya had just accepted it when she was told they were two female puppies, not feeling the need to examine them herself.

“Because the instructions given to Vic were that puppies are born without the ability to decide for themselves to empty their bladder and bowels, so while we were looking after them they needed to be helped…”

“Is that…”

“What the foster dog was doing with the licking in the other video? Si, but we used wet cotton gauze from the medical kits and I only did it once as Vic had taken you putting her on poop duty seriously… And yes, they are little girls, Ben did do the checks.”

“But you did them too right?” asked Maya, somehow feeling more reassured if Carina had looked at them too now she thought about it. “I just assumed they really were ok…”

“Si, as far as I could tell they seemed healthy little girls, and they are apparently doing very well.” Carina went back to reading through the messages that had been sent through with the video. “Ah, so the vet agrees with the…” Carina thought for a moment, trying to remember the name of the person Vic had been talking to at the shelter. “Adam?”

“The Shelter guy? Yeah, he’s called Adam, came by the station on Tuesday morning, think he was a bit disappointed Vic was out.” 

“She had a call?” Carina normally didn’t pay that much attention to the individual details of who went on what call at the Station, just as Maya didn’t remember exactly which residents assisted Carina on her surgeries, but Tuesday’s shift was going to take a long time to fade for Carina.

“No, she was at the Zoo.”

“The zoo?” Puppies forgotten about for the moment, Carina wanted to hear about how and why Vic was at the zoo during shift. “Why?”

“I thought I told you…” began Maya, frowning as she tried to work out why Carina was so surprised.

“Bella, Tuesday was…” began Carina carefully, not doubting Maya’s memory of the events that happened on Tuesday and completely overtook any sort of normal ‘how was your day’ type conversation, but knowing that they’d both been struggling to keep track of what day of the week each of their shifts started and finished on with the Christmas holidays and the weekends all sort of blurring into one.

“Oh, I know, I meant I thought I’d told you we had some new hoses delivered just before Christmas, Tuesday was the first shift we...crap…”

“What?”

“The hose that got shot…”

“It was one of your new ones? Mi dispiace amore mio...I'm sorry, I know you were in love with your new hoses…”

“Only a little bit…” Maya had remembered to tell Carina about their new hoses, and she accepted the teasing in good humour as she had been rather excited that they were getting them, but she did wonder if that was also a hint. “...and definitely nowhere near as much as I am in love with you…” Carina’s laughter told her that it hadn’t been a hint, but she was scoring a bonus point anyway.

“Grazie, and I am a lot in love with you but still want to know what your new hoses have to do with Vic going to the zoo?”

“Because we take our old ones to the zoo for them to use.”

“For firefighting? But the animals deserve…”

“We are giving the old hoses to the zoo for the animals, orangutans and gorillas I think, to use for climbing and swinging. If the zoo ever has a fire, we turn up and sort it out for them with our new hoses….” joked Maya, smiling at a mental image she suddenly got. “...though an elephant would probably work rather well as a fire extinguisher.”

“They would need a very big helmet…” Carina was finding the idea very funny, and struggling not to laugh.

“I’m more concerned about the size of the fire engine I’d need to take them with me to a scene…” Unfortunately Maya realised her mistake as soon as she’d said that. “Stop it, you’ll make me laugh.”

“Scusa…” Carina was trying, really trying not to laugh, but it was too much, until Maya elbowed her. “...bella!”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing when the others almost made me laugh?” asked Maya, smirking at how she’d managed to successfully surprise the laughter out of her girlfriend, but also relieved - she was looking forward to the ‘very small adventure’ she was going to have soon, but also apprehensive, and worried that laughing would make her too tired for Carina to let her risk it.

“Si, you are right.” She took a couple of deep breaths, and kissed Maya’s temple in a mixture of apology and reward for being so responsible. “Why were we talking about about the animals at the zoo?”

“Because Vic missed Adam visiting from the Shelter because she was dropping off our old hoses…”

“Ah, and yes, Vic’s messages…” Carina unlocked her phone screen again, remembering now what they had been talking about. “...the vet agreed with Adam’s original guess from the photographs Vic sent, they were about 7 days old when you were holding them.”

“How could they tell? I mean, I know you guys get really good at reading the signs in patients so I guess it makes sense vets can too, but isn’t that like super precise? I mean, you can’t be to the day specific when you see babies on scans, you’d say ‘about a week’ or something right?”

“Si, but babies and puppies are different…” 

Carina moved her elbow slightly when she felt Maya’s twitch, grinning at another small, and very Maya-like sign of her regaining her equilibrium after the difficult morning with the scans and their little disagreement - if Maya had now worked out that she could join in the ‘elbow wars’ as Mason had started calling it, while Carina wouldn’t yet dream of actively elbowing her girlfriend yet, she did think she was allowed to do a bit of gentle defending. 

“...no, I do not mean like that. I looked it up - puppies are born with their ears and eyes closed. Babies’ eyes and ears are open from birth - the brain might not yet know how to interpret what the ears and eyes receive, but the physics is turned on. Apparently the eyes open at days 12 or 13, and according to the messages, the next video has their faces to the camera and we will see that by New Year’s Eve they had opened their eyes.” Carina put her phone down in her lap and took Maya’s phone from her, knowing that with only her left hand and not really any usable ‘lap’, as long as Carina was sitting on the bit of mattress by Maya’s left hip, her girlfriend was rather committed to having to hang onto her phone.

“Ah, so we saw them a week earlier which confirms the ‘about 7 days old’ then.”

“Si, although if you spend all the time looking after little puppies you probably get very good at working out their ages. The nurses in NICUs are scary good - I have known some who could tell me which babies I delivered on which day without needing to see the charts or be alongside me when I did the delivery.”

“Here? Wow…”

“No, I mean yes, there could be here but I do not know them that well. It was before I started my research…and I can ‘hear’ your eyebrow bella..”

“Me? I said nothing…” 

“Si, but your eyebrow is very loud.” Carina unlocked Maya’s phone and found the video they had been watching, which had the two puppies heads disappearing into the coat of the foster dog, their back legs splayed out behind them. “I knew the NICU nurses better in Italy than here because I was their boss. Shall I press play?”

“I’m sorry, what now?” Maya stopped herself from turning her whole upper body just in time, and just turned her head so she could look at Carina.

“Shall I press play so we see the rest of this video of the puppies before we watch the ones with their faces?”

“Yes, no, what did you say before that.”

“Your eyebrow is very loud, oh…” Carina wasn’t being deliberately obtuse, she just hadn’t realised what she’d said was something she’d not told Maya before. “...scusa, si, in Italy the hospital structure was a little different. The departments were put together and so my department was  Materno-Infantile...is literally saying the department of mothers and children, but it meant all of women’s health, not just ostetricia, and there were all the pediatricians also.”

“Yes, but that’s not what you said, you said that you were their boss.” Maya was trying to remember what she knew about Carina’s career before Grey-Sloan. “...and you just said ‘my department’ like…” Like she said ‘my Station’ since she became Captain at 19. “Hang on...can you…” She waved her hand in a circle, another of their newly developed set of short hand signals that, in this case was Maya asking Carina if she could move so she was in front of Maya rather than alongside her so they could talk face-to-face more comfortably.

“Si...would you like a little more of your drink?”

“Please.”

A practical silence settled over the couple as Maya slowly had another five small sips of the liquid that wasn’t quite a sports drink, but was close enough that it felt familiar, while Carina repositioned herself so she was sitting on the side of the bed facing Maya, her left leg bent at the knee and her left, sock clad foot caught behind her right knee.

“How does that feel?” asked Carina when, once she was sat down again, Maya passed her the drink container to put back on the bedside unit.

“Alright I think.” Maya canted her head to one side, concentrating on how her insides felt. “Yeah, I can’t really feel anything after I’ve swallowed it. That’s good right?”

“Very good.” Carina stretched out and put the cup on the bedside unit, then settled back, smiling when Maya caught hold of her hand. “So, you want to know more about my work in Italy?”

“I thought I knew about what you did when you were in Italy…” Maya was frowning now, feeling guilty that she’d maybe been a bit too self-absorbed and not shown enough or any interest in her girlfriend’s career when Carina had been so brilliantly supportive of her Captain problems.

“Si, you do know about what I did before I came to America, more than Andrea or…”

“Arizona?” Maya smiled. “You’re allowed to say her name you know, I won’t mind...unless, you know, it’s like in the middle of a shower or something…”

“Si, that would be very bad,” agreed Carina seriously, “...and would probably mean you needed to bring me here for Amelia to admit.”

“Amelia?”

“Si, because to get to a muddle about you and Arizona I would have to need my head examined…” Her serious look became a teasing smile. “...because she was something, si, I would never lie about that, and si, at that time she was probably the biggest ‘something’ I had ever felt in a relationship...but you bella...tutto il resto non è niente in confronto a quanto ti amo ... e no, non dire ‘ma Andrea’ perché il nostro amore per i nostri fratellini è un amore diverso…” Carina sniffed, knowing Maya had no idea what she’d said, but finding it easier to say in Italian with the emotion, then somehow she could repeat the translation with a small distance between her words and her feelings. “...do not say ‘but Andrew’ bella, we both know our little brothers have a different love to what I am talking about when I say that everything else is nothing in comparison to how much I love you.” She leaned forwards and softly kissed Maya’s lips, smiling against them when she felt the teasing nudging of her lips by Maya’s mischievous tongue, which after a moment she found the strength of will to resist and draw back from, earning her an adorable pout from her girlfriend. “And when we forget and it turns into a kiss we get into trouble with Teddy for, you will be grumpy at no more very little adventure…” she pointed out with a reasonableness that she impressed herself with.

“But we can save it for later?” asked Maya hopefully, her pout sort of shifting to imploring, which Carina chuckled at, finding it impossibly adorable whenever Maya felt she had to resort to it...which was usually, strangely, when Maya wanted Carina to get  _ out  _ of bed and  _ put on  _ clothes, rather than the other way around. “And I can’t do words like you do but you’re my only ‘something’ and I don’t want to ever have another one to compare it to...why are you crying?”

“Because…” 

Carina leaned in and abandoned her earlier principles, drawing her girlfriend’s tongue out of its hiding spot behind her girlfriend’s teeth with teasing kisses and nudges to her lips, though she did still keep enough discipline to limit the kiss to only as long as her abdominal muscles could support her leaning in, rather than ‘cheating’ and putting her hand down to support her. For all her joking about it, she would not be able to forgive herself if she did inadvertently encourage Maya into upsetting her injuries to such an extent that the visit to Mason’s wall was off. “...your words are very beautiful bella, almost as beautiful as you….” She sat back down on the bed properly, though she did pick up Maya’s left hand and kiss the knuckles before returning them to the topic that started them off down this little detour. 

“...and you know more about my life in Italy than anyone else including Andrea and…” She smirked, realising she’d got to the same point as before, when Maya had thought she was hesitating to mention her ex. “...my friends who I have in Italia because si, there are medici who know more about my time in the hospitals than you because they were there, but they know nothing of my Papa, and there are a couple of friends from home who know a little bit more about my struggles with Papa because again, they were there...but my time in the hospitals? They do not care to know about that. So while some know a little more about Dottoressa DeLuca than you, and some know a little more about Carina, figlia di Vincenzo DeLuca….there is no one who knows more about Dr Carina DeLuca than you bella.”

“I…” Maya’s mouth moved, but no sound came out...but that didn’t matter.

“Si.” Carina knew, she knew that Maya loved her with all the little gestures and the big ones, and right now, she had a little gesture of her own to return. “You feel now like you do not know much about my work in Italy and that is my fault because…” Carina ran her thumb over the back of Maya’s hand while she tried to work out how to say what she meant sufficiently clearly that Maya understood her immediately so they didn’t get stuck in a circular debate. “...I told you the type of doctor I am, and about the people that I worked with and the funny stories about the crazy things people do with their bodies…”

“But you never told me what your...actual job was?” guessed Maya, seeing the distinction Carina was making.

“Si.”

“Why not?”

“Eh?”

“Why not? I mean, here everyone is...no, you…” Maya looked at Carina with a thoughtful, but kind sort of thoughtful expression. “You just say you’re Dr Carina DeLuca and let everyone else...I just assumed it was because only Chiefs and Heads of, but your brother…”

“Describes himself now as an ‘Attending’? Si.”

“But you never have done.”

“No...it’s...a little bit complicated and was difficult when I first arrived, so I…” Carina shrugged. “...and it does not matter to my research or my patients what my headed notepaper describes me as, so long as I have my Diplomas di Laurea in medicina e chirurgia, di abilitazione all'esercizio della medicina e chirurgia, di medico specialista in Chirurgia generale e Ginecologia e ostetricia and my papers to do that here.”

“You have headed notepaper?”

“Si, well, the printer puts the heading on at the same time it prints the letter, but yes…” Laughing at the bit of that whole sentence which caught Maya’s attention, Carina picked up her phone and opened her emails, finding an email she had sent a couple of weeks earlier that had an attachment she could show Maya. “...there, you can look, it is not a patient letter, one of the nurses needed a reference letter about her employment as she and her boyfriend have signed a new lease and move in together...ah today! I must text her later and ask her if it is as lovely as she hoped.” 

“What does it all mean? All those Diploma di…and why is it a little bit complicated?”

“That’s what I’d like to know too.”

“Bailey!”

“She didn’t mean it to sound that sinister…” said Teddy, standing next to Bailey, having followed her into Maya’s room. “...and we did knock but you were talking about headed notepaper?” If she’d known she and Bailey were going to get to almost to the end of Maya’s bed without being noticed, she’d have definitely led with some opening small talk, or at the very least a ‘hello’.

“I was curious. I have some stuff that has the station address and headquarters address on it, but that’s generic Station 19 paper that I just use the most of because I get all the paperwork, not because Captain has all these letters and titles…” Maya answered Teddy’s question as a reflex, used to doctors and nurses appearing seemingly out of nowhere, especially when she was lying very flat and not able to see them approaching. Then realised that not only had she not been expecting Teddy in the first place, but that she’d arrived with Bailey. “But what are you doing here? I thought you were coming by later?” asked Maya, checking the time on Carina’s phone before passing it back to her, fairly certain that Carina had said Teddy was in surgery but would come by with Amelia, not Bailey, sometime after 3.30.

“Maggie’s doing my surgeries for me.”

“Cosa?” Carina started to twist around to look at Teddy, but stood up and turned fully around so she could see what had brought Bailey, and Bailey in a bad mood it seemed too, into Maya’s room. “And you have my registrations, for many years now Bailey, per favore what is going on?”

“Registrations? Wait…” Maya started trying to move, her fierce protective instincts kicking in, not liking what sounded like Bailey questioning Carina’s skills or worse, entitlement to be working or something and they couldn’t do that could they? Or could they...Italy was...and doctors..that counted for something...and the drug research monies...“..ow…”

“Sshh…” Carina just about managed to stop Maya before she did more than surprise herself into remembering how she really wasn’t supposed to have a go at moving yet without help and proper support, only to see that the reminder to not move had come in the rather rude and abrupt form of the beginning of a panic attack, as clearly a loop of thoughts were now racing around her girlfriend’s brain at impossible speeds. 

“...tranquilla…” Carina shut out the distraction of Teddy and Bailey, focusing solely on Maya. “...eyes on me…” Maya’s head was still lifting, her increasingly shallow breaths seeing her chin inching upwards, her eyes drifting above Carina, just like she’d seen that first time when they were on holiday. “...ah ah ah...eyes on me Maya…” 

* * *

“Is she…”

“...going to kill you for giving Maya a panic attack?” asked Teddy, understanding why Bailey was cross with the world right now, but not prepared to accept that as a reason. “Possibly, because as lovely as she is, this is Maya. And honestly? If she doesn’t get Maya out of it, I’ll probably kill you myself after I’ve had to take her to theatre and fix that damn rib again.”

“I…” Miranda was taken aback by Teddy’s sharpness, and turned to cut the surgeon with her temper, but Teddy’s face was cold like stone, showing a impassive hardness that made Miranda pause...because looking back at her wasn’t her friend and colleague, but a pissed off Major Altman whose patient with a daisy chain of injuries to her right side from shoulder to thigh was now in a panic attack because of Bailey. “...need to start this all again don’t I.”

“Yes, you do.” Teddy continued to look at Miranda impassively for another moment that felt impossibly long for the Chief of Surgery, who hadn’t noticed she was holding her breath, waiting to see which way Teddy would go, only to exhale with relief when Teddy blinked and unfolded her arms, her hands going into her scrub pockets. 

“Go,” Teddy jerked her head in the direction of the door. “Take five minutes, then go get one of those horrible green things you like drinking and a really good coffee from the outside cart for Carina and we’ll start again when Maya’s settled.”

“Ok.” Miranda knew she didn’t deserve that second chance so quickly, with Teddy well within her right to kick her out completely. “Thank you.”

“Oh, don’t thank me. Because of this you do know you’re not going to get Carina away from her now? Or probably let you stay with Maya on your own? And I know from first hand experience that Captain Bishop’s got plenty of fight in her still if she decides it’s needed, and we both know that Carina being involved brings out her protectiveness.”

“Yeah…” Bailey looked back towards the bed, relieved to see that Carina’s shoulders seemed less tightly set, making her hope that Maya was breathing a little more calmly again. “...will you…”

“Explain why you’re in a bad mood in general? Yes, if they give me a chance. Apologise to them on your behalf? No.” Teddy relented a bit, knowing that Miranda had genuinely not meant for her question to trigger such a chain reaction of events. “But I will see if I can find out why they were talking about Carina’s qualifications of all things at this moment, because I was as surprised as you.”

“Thank you.” Taking a moment to look over to Maya, who was looking a little less pained and a little less distressed, Miranda excused herself to go and do exactly what Teddy had told her to do.

* * *

“...bene...sshh, I know, just concentrate on good breaths bella…I am not going anywhere…” Carina felt Maya’s hand squeeze in hers, her message clear - I’m not letting you go anywhere either. “..then we are stuck with each other si?”

Maya nodded, smiling tentatively, her eyes darting to her right like she was wanting Carina to look over in that direction.

“Teddy…”

“Before you start, I kicked Bailey out - she’s taking a few minutes and then is coming back with a coffee and an apology for you both...the apology I mean, coffee’s not on your menu yet Maya, sorry.”

“I think... I’d prefer…. the drink thing…. anyway.”

“You’re my first ever patient to say that…”

“She’s also your first patient who thinks, what did Mason say? That green vegetables were her comfort food. Why is Maggie doing your surgeries?”

"Because…" Teddy paused. "...Maya, before I start explaining, I need you to promise to remember that no matter what it sounds like at any point, you need to not try any heroics like getting out of bed because you are angry with people for how they treated Carina."

"Lachman."

"What makes you think she's involved?” asked Teddy, not sure she'd ever heard Maya say the name of the Head of OBGYN and Carina's theoretical boss before.

"Because…” Maya’s breathing had settled down enough that she could string a sentence together again.”...she doesn't like Carina but I don't know why, though I think I was about to find out if you'd not interrupted…" grumbled Maya, struggling to find a way of combining physical comfort with emotional comfort, as sitting all the way back against the raised part of the bed and pillow felt physically comfortable but meant she couldn't do anything other than hold Carina's hand, which wasn't good enough in terms of supporting her emotionally through whatever was about to be explained.

"This will not do." Carina stood up, turning to Teddy. "Help me please?”

"Of course, what are we doing?”

"Maya, I am going to make the bed a little more upright, and you are going to let it push you down the bed and not try to use your muscles to push backwards like you usually do ok?” Not only did the pushing normally remind Maya’s abdomen it was grumpy, but in this particular instance, Carina wanted Maya to shuffle down the bed a bit.

Maya nodded, not sure what Carina's plan was, but trusting her completely.

"Bene." She reached for the bed control. "Teddy, can you help her arm move with her as she moves forwards please? You do not need to move the frame, just steer the arm, it is only for a moment."

"Sure…" Teddy had no idea what Carina's plan was either, but like Maya recognised now was the time to trust and follow.

"Now…" Carina moved the sheet at Maya's hip a little so she could see how her first estimate on how far to move the bed turned out. "...this is the careful bit. You must tell us if you feel anything hurt or feel different to when you sat up first today."

"Ok…" Maya watched Carina with interest as she was gently eased forward until she was maybe another ten degrees more upright and her hips had shifted a couple of inches further down the bed. "...that it?”

"Si, are you able to manage like that for a minute?"

"Yeah, though my neck is going to get a crick in it if I stay this far forward for too long."

"You will not be there for long….can you take the controller Teddy? Grazie. Now in a moment Teddy, you are going to make the foot of the bed go down a few degrees and then the top of the bed go flat please,"

"That will make me tip forward a bit."

"Only a tiny bit that you will not feel, but it will be easier for your back to stay upright without the bed to help it…” She felt Maya’s hand tighten its hold on hers. “...and I am not going away, I am…”

“Oh…” Teddy had worked out what Carina was planning now, remembering being taken through a similar series of little movements when she had been in labour. “...trust me Maya, she’s not going anywhere, but you are going to have to let go of her hand I think, just for a moment.”

“What…”

“Do you remember the bathtub on our vacation?” asked Carina simply, using the hand Maya wasn’t gripping tightly to move the sheets around Maya’s hips until they were not at risk of being pulled on.

“Yes, but what…” Maya was being a bit slow to connect the dots, still rather rattled by the surprise arrival of Teddy and Bailey’s bad mood, so it took her a moment to appreciate that what Carina really meant when asking Maya about the bathtub was actually a question about whether she remembered  _ Carina  _ in the bathtub right before they were  _ both  _ in the bathtub. “...oh.”

Maya let go of Carina’s hand, ignoring Teddy’s knowing smile.

“Grazie. Bene, go ahead Teddy.”

For a minute or so there was silence as Teddy nudged the electric controls so the various parts of the bed moved first this way then that, but suddenly, and without even a grimace from Maya, Carina was sitting on the bed behind Maya, her legs either side of her girlfriend, being Maya’s back support in the absence of the bed which, mid manoeuvre Teddy had lowered on Carina’s request.

“How are you feeling?” asked Carina softly, shifting herself a very small fraction of a nudge so she felt more at ease making sure her head was on the left side of Maya’s head, avoiding her right shoulder and collarbone. 

“Ok, but it’s tiring.”

“Si - hold onto my leg with your arm to help you feel steady…” She had bent her left leg up at the knee so it was in front of Maya by her side, giving her something to hang onto with her arm that, as had been previously demonstrated, was still very strong. “Teddy, tilt Maya back again per favore?” As Teddy worked the bed control so that Maya’s feet were back up level with her hips again, shifting her weight so her body weight was wanting to work with gravity to help her lean back a little again, Carina undid the buttons on the shirt she was wearing. She’d forgotten that Maya was, when she was wearing her uniform shirt at the moment, wearing a shirt that had no back to it, meaning for the last few days she had only felt the hospital sheet on her back. Compared to that, the soft flannel of the shirt Carina was wearing - technically one of Maya’s favourites which was why Andy had brought it in for Maya, but was also why Carina had claimed it - would feel a bit rough and strange pressing against Maya’s back, especially with all the buttons.

“Lean back as much as you want to, you will not squash me…” she encouraged, bracing herself with her arm behind her in preparation for Maya’s weight settling against her front, at the last second also thinking, with a quick prayer of thanks to whoever the patron saint of underwear was for making her current bra front fastening, that not having Maya leaning against that would also be more comfortable for her. “...I am right here, promise…” she reassured, leaning forwards enough so Maya felt her make light contact with her back. “...use me to support your back bella…” 

Carina was speaking softly by Maya’s left ear, so softly Teddy couldn’t hear, but she had a very clear memory now of Carina coaching her through something not dissimilar as she was trying to find the right position to feel like pushing wasn’t going to snap Alison in two. 

“...bene…” Carina felt Maya settle against her heavily, so she started to lean back in tiny amounts, very slowly, holding herself up with her arms braced behind her. “...you tell me when we get to your comfortable spot.” She was fairly certain she would know when they reached that point, as she’d feel the grip on her knee ease and the pressure on her front change….which it was...

“Here’s good,” said Maya, speaking for the first time since she’d taken hold of Carina’s knee, though throughout all the moving, while she’d been concentrating carefully, Teddy had been watching her face for any giveaway signs and had been both relieved and impressed to see no flickers in her expression to suggest sudden pain.

“Bene, Teddy, can you bring the back of the bed up a bit for me?” Carina caught Teddy’s eye and maintained eye contact as she felt the top end of the bed begin to rise to me her, knowing it was not going to get up very far because Maya was sitting too far up the bed, but fairly confident that it could come up far enough to give her some assistance, especially if she could have a pillow in behind her too. But at the end of the day, she’d take a tired, cramping back if it meant Maya was able to feel calm and ‘present’ without panic for Bailey’s second attempt at whatever it was she had wanted to say to Carina.

“How’s that?” asked Teddy after another minute of careful nudging of the bed controls and the strategic shoving of a pillow or two in between Carina and the bed.

“Grazie Teddy...Maya?”

“Hmm?” Maya was already adjusting to her new ‘backrest’, recognising her girlfriend’s body and feeling her lingering anxiety fade another notch.

“Can you go flop si?”

“Floppy…” mumbled Maya, sinking a tiny bit more heavily into her girlfriend’s support, mishearing what Carina had said. “Flopsy was a rabbit.”

“Si?” Carina, feeling the little settling of a bit more of Maya’s weight against her as she let go with the few stubborn muscles that had otherwise been trying to keep her from letting all her bodyweight sink against her girlfriend, in turn then went ‘flop’ herself and relaxed as much as she could against the bed and pillows.

“Mmm, sister to Peter.”

“Peter?” Carina hadn’t been paying close enough attention to Maya’s change of conversation topic and was thoroughly lost.

“Rabbit. Flopsy, Cottontail and I can’t remember.”

“Mopsy,” offered Teddy, putting the bed control back where it was in reach should they need it, marvelling at how easy Carina had managed to make inserting herself in behind Maya look, especially as Teddy was internally wincing at how the Italian’s hips and legs would be feeling given how she was stretching her right leg out to the side so she didn’t inadvertently put pressure on Maya’s right hip or side. “Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail, were sisters of Peter Rabbit.”

“Ah, si, La Storia di Peter Coniglio, with the little blue jacket...”

“Yeah…” Teddy looked in amazement at the couple, Maya now holding Carina’s left hand in hers, Carina’s left leg stretched out down the mattress next to Maya’s sheet covered one. “...how do you know about them, either of you? I mean...” She hadn’t meant that to sound as harsh as it did, but both were smiling at her, clearly not taking offence.

“Because we read it to Scout before Christmas…and I think I had the stories as a kid - certainly we’ve had some of it on the TV at the Station when Pru’s been visiting before.”

“Si, I definitely had them as a child.”

“In English?”

“No, in Italiano. My grandmother had been given them when they were new translations into Italian as a small child. She read them to my papa and he and she helped me read them to Andrea...but reading them to Scout is my first time seeing them in English.”

“I must invite more people round to dinner…” muttered Teddy, knowing that, in accepting an invitation to be sociable from Amelia and Link, you normally got offered putting Scout to bed with a story as a ‘treat’. As a general rule, if you wanted dinner before midnight, you accepted the ‘generous’ offer and household multi-tasking made for a very enjoyable evening.

“Si,” agreed Carina, remembering the lighter conversation they had been having with Teddy this morning when Maya got back from her scans, “but we will take a cab…” 

Carina felt Maya’s grip on her hand tighten, and resting her chin lightly on her girlfriend’s left shoulder, reminding her that she wasn’t going anywhere, Carina looked up towards the door and saw that Maya was reacting to Bailey’s return. “...va bene bella…” she murmured, kissing Maya’s cheek, feeling the warmth of her body against her front, glad she was not having the added warmth of the shirt between them, realising how much she had missed having her ‘little heater’ to snuggle right up to when they slept. “...come in Dr Bailey…” she said calmly, if a little coolly. “...if you can start at the beginning without your bad temper with Kate Lachman being directed at Maya.”

“Don’t look at me…” said Teddy, taking the coffees Bailey had brought for Carina and her from the Chief of Surgery and walking around the room and putting Carina’s on the bedside unit, “...it was Maya who guessed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact #1 - Fire Hose is a really great enrichment source for animals around the world  
> Fun fact #2 - Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit was published in London in 1901, and the same publishers then produced translations into French a couple of years later, and Italian in 1909. Potter, famous for buying up Hill Farms in the Lake District in England and leaving them in her will to the National Trust to preserve and protect the landscape that inspired her, was also one of the premier exponents of image copyright and commercialisation of characters, designing board games, patterns for fabric and toys right from the off.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kate Lachman appears in one episode of Grey's Anatomy, when Carina asks for the OBGYN records for 'an investigation'. Lachman throws a fit and pages Arizona, who explains it's a 'research study'...suddenly Lachman is sweetness, but then it's because her kid's friends with Arizona's kid. That's it. Carina spots Lachman's being not the greatest doctor and doing C-sections on Friday afternoons so her weekend plans aren't ruined. Arizona shrugs it off but follows up at the end and Lachman is...unpleasant. That's the whole on screen character arc. Blink and you miss it.
> 
> But it got me thinking....Carina's research deal is a sweet deal, and even with drug companies being desperate for 'a female sex drug' she's got to be one hell of a OBGYN to swing the deal, especially considering how easily she gets flipped by Arizona from researcher to seeing patients. That's big league OBGYN...like Addison Montgomery big league...
> 
> Oh, and final warning - I have a love/hate relationship with Arizona. I love the existence of the character because, as someone who only visits the Greys show-verse when the wlw internet jungle drums start pounding, I have many many lovely clips to look at of wlw representation on US/Global TV. But I find her a difficult character to like...and having watched the Carina/Arizona arc (thank you lovely youtube video people)...well, read on for the result....

“Maya…”

“I know.” Maya looked at Bailey surprisingly calmly, drawing strength and comfort from feeling Carina’s familiar presence around her, even with the weirdness of her right arm held up, supported in the sling thing which reminded her….she looked at her right hand, watching as she wiggled her fingers which were still a healthy pinkish colour.

“Bene.” Carina anticipated Maya’s inevitable question, having angled her head just enough to see the little flicker of movement of the very tip of Maya’s finger, though most of her view of Maya’s hand was obstructed by her girlfriend’s head being in the way.

“If Teddy believed you meant to do what you did, you wouldn’t be here,” observed Maya astutely, guessing from how Teddy had a sudden need to sip from what had to be a scorching cup of coffee that she was probably using the cup to cover a smile. “If Carina was the cause of your temper, you wouldn’t be here, and if you think I won’t get out of this bed and march you out of here myself if you let that temper go at her then you haven’t paid as much attention when you’ve been around the Station as I was giving you credit for...I haven’t finished.”

Bailey, who had been about to interject that she agreed with everything Maya was saying, closed her mouth again. She had been paying attention at the Station, since Ben was first assigned there, wanting to know who was going to be responsible for the rest of his training, and for making sure he came home safe. She’d spent more time there once she became Pruitt Herrera’s doctor, with her patient being at the extremely stubborn end of the stubborn curve, which made him oddly likeable rather than just irritating. And, spending the time with the firefighters, she’d found that her years of reading interns and residents’ skills and behaviours were suddenly transferable skills. She might not understand hoses and ladders like she understood IVs and surgery, but she’d seen the same small signs that told her which interns and Residents were still full of untapped potential and which were already at their limit...and had not been entirely surprised when Maya was made Captain instead of Andy or Jack...and it had everything to do with what she’d seen in those first months of Ben’s time at the Station, long before she’d reached Lieutenant even.

“And I don’t want your apology. I don’t need one. If you think you need to apologise as a result of my reaction to your behaviour in this room, I suggest you give it to Dr Altman for how you behaved in front of her patient.” She saw Bailey’s face twitch. “And I would not presume to speak for Carina.”

There was a long silence as everyone, Bailey especially, processed not just what Maya had said, but how she had said it. As Teddy had predicted, Captain Bishop had plenty of fight in her still, and wasn’t afraid of showing it - compared to the Mayor, Chief Dixon (again) and what at the time had felt like a sizable chunk of the Police Department, Bailey even on a tear was nothing.

“Now I’m finished, Dr Bailey.” Maya let out a long, steady breath and let her back muscles release, seeing her settle against Carina a fraction more, her body shifting to accept the new way Maya’s weight was settling against her, giving her an opportunity to hide her smile at her girlfriend’s fierce protective side coming to the surface and not being remotely intimidated by Bailey, though it did mean Maya was now only finished with Bailey. “Teddy?”

“Hmm?” Teddy, like Carina, was having to work very hard on keeping a suitably serious expression.

“Would my arm be ok if I put it on Carina’s leg? If she doesn’t mind…” Maya liked the idea of not having her arm pressing against her ribs, but it was feeling rather stretched out up at her shoulder height now, and she’d just worked out it was her arm position that was stopping her feel comfortable in what she’d finally worked out was, except for a slight shift in the angle of Carina’s right leg, basically their lazy Saturday doing the crossword position.

“Si, you will want a pillow…” As Teddy stood up to help Maya get her arm more comfortable, Carina looked at Dr Bailey like she was a patient she was diagnosing. “I think our conversation startled you, because I do not remember seeing your temper in front of a patient like that. So you were coming to see me I think, because as Maya has guessed, Kate Lachman has been stupida e impossibile and is giving you a headache…” Her eyes narrowed, focused on trying to make the last couple of pieces of information she had, which she didn’t think Bailey knew about, into a complete picture. “...and it is not about any of the department patients because I have not had a text from any of the nurses about worries they have had since yesterday morning.” She smiled at both Bailey and Teddy’s reactions. 

“Si, I have been here with Maya and not been to the department, but that does not mean I have no understanding of what is happening. Since midnight up until midday there are four new bambini in the nurseries today, two by C-section and one was emergency but the mama was already here for observation. Yesterday midnight to midnight there were six bambini, and no c-sections, but one did not wait until the mama had left the ER and got to the department. And there were seven consults requested yesterday, today I think...there have only been two. And the NICU only has one backup generator on standby since yesterday morning - if you can make maintenance jump and run the nurses would be very relieved. They are happier when they are both ready, especially when it is winter.”

“How…” Teddy blinked - Carina had as good an idea of what the patient load in her department was as Teddy did about hers, but Teddy had walked past the board less than twenty minutes ago. And she had absolutely no idea how her wards’ backup power supplies were.

“Do I know this? Because the nurses know that if they are worried they should let me know, and at the shift change they let me know what happened that did not worry them.” She nodded to Teddy that she was happy with how Maya’s arm was now using her right leg as an armrest with a pillow under it as she also felt her girlfriend take a slightly deeper breath, like she was about to ask her a question. “And to answer your question,” she rubbed Maya’s left shoulder with her chin, making it clear to her girlfriend who couldn’t see her whose question she was answering, “...I ask the senior nurses for the worries because it is my experience that they do not suffer from overconfidence or nerves in the same way some of the younger doctors do.”

“You mean they remember to breathe?”

“Si bella…” agreed Carina, grinning. “...they remember to breathe, which is something Dr Bailey should also do.”

Bailey took the hint, Carina’s matter of fact analysis of what she knew was happening in the OBGYN department surprising and also not surprising her.

“Carina?”

“Si Teddy?”

“Why were you and Maya talking about your qualifications when we came in?”

“Because…” Carina was about to say ‘because we were talking about headed notepaper’ but dismissed that as an unhelpful contribution. Plus, since Bailey’s temper was somehow connected to Lachman… “...I was telling Maya that in my department in Italy I had NICU nurses who could tell which bambina I had delivered on which day without needing to see the chart.”

“How...I mean, I know we have some NICU nurses here who can tell the age of the babies to the day at a glance, but that you did the delivery?” It was the first time Bailey had spoken, and in contrast to her previous attempts, she was sounding and looking much calmer. “If you don’t mind my asking?”

“Va bene, it was something about how we all clamped the umbilical cord stump after the cutting. I do not know what was unique to me about my way, but to these very good nurses it was as clear as if I signed the bambina on the foot.” Carina thought for a second. “I have not thought about it since I arrived here, but we were looking at the videos of the puppies who have been given their birthday by the vet.”

“You said ‘my department’...” spotted Teddy, reclaiming her coffee and leaning on the back of the chair, next to Bailey.

“I noticed that too,” explained Maya, not sure where the conversation was going, but glad Bailey had stowed her temper, for the moment at least. “...and had been about to find out why my girlfriend is so modest about her career when we were interrupted...and judging by the looks on your faces, I’m not the only one who is interested in hearing the story, although your comment suggests you know some of it already Bailey.”

“I would like to hear the whole story though, if you don’t mind sharing it with us Carina?” There was a quiet, nervous uncertainty in Miranda’s voice that was rather atypical of the confident Chief in Carina’s experience, suggesting Maya’s words had hit home with a surgeon’s precision and the destructive force of her firefighter’s axe or sledgehammer.

“Va bene, but it is not very interesting. As Bailey knows because she has had them since I started here with just my research, in Italy I would be addressed as  Dottoressa Carina DeLuca, the equivalent to the American residencies and fellowships are my Diplomas di Laurea in medicina e chirurgia, di abilitazione all'esercizio della medicina e chirurgia, di medico specialista in Chirurgia generale e in Ginecologia e ostetricia…” She chuckled at the looks on Teddy’s and Miranda’s face, smiling at the happy hum she heard coming from Maya which always happened when her girlfriend was relaxed and listening to Carina speaking Italian that she didn’t understand, but not caring because it ‘sounded beautiful’. “...my medical degree and licence to practice medicine and surgery, and my specialist training in general surgery and obstetrics and gynecology.”

“General surgery  _ and _ OBGYN?”

“Si...you I think would call it double Board Certified, though here I only did the paperwork for OBGYN. Arizona and Andrea did not understand why I did not do the General Surgery one also but…” Carina’s instinct was to shrug, but she didn’t so she didn’t jostle Maya, who was steadily relaxing more and more now she had the reassuring and familiar feeling of Carina effectively holding her, unconsciously telling both Carina and Teddy that she’d still had muscles trying to compensate for her injured ones. But it also told everyone that Maya was also not remotely bothered by the mention of Arizona’s name - while both their pasts held demons for them, none of those demons were in the forms of their exes, not now. “...I do not like removing cistifellea or operating sul cuore, scusa, cistifellea is gallbladder and cuore is heart, and since I was here as a researcher…”

“...why get the paperwork for something you don’t like doing?” guessed Teddy.

“Si.” She was only certified in general surgery because it was the most straightforward way of managing her father who couldn’t fathom why she wouldn’t be a general surgeon exactly like him. And it wasn’t like it was wasted expertise and knowledge, it just wasn’t what really interested her. “And you already have plenty of excellent general surgeons.”

“Always room for one more,” said Bailey quietly

“Si, but I am not an excellent general surgeon. No, Teddy, your face tells me you are assuming that my ability is consistent, but it is not. I was a very good general surgeon when I had lots of patients and surgeries, but I was always a better OBGYN and since then I have done much more of my specialty and no more general surgery.”

“You never said anything...“

“To you? No.” The temptation to hug Maya while they were sat together like this was strong, but somehow Carina found the discipline to just focus on the feeling of her girlfriend’s body resting against hers, finding it had the same calming, centering effect that one of Maya’s strong, tight hugs had. “Richard knows.”

“Richard?” Maya turned her head to her left, tilting her head back a bit, discovering she could just see enough of Carina’s face to satisfy herself she was appearing as calm as she was sounding.

“Richard Webber,” explained Miranda, filling in the gap for Maya.

“Oh, Robert’s...guy.” Maya knew the name, turning her head back so she was looking in Bailey and Teddy’s direction, which did mean she didn’t feel like she was going a little cross-eyed now she was, for the moment at least, satisfied that Carina was coping with this strange and unexpected conversation. She had met him a couple of times, but he was primarily fixed in her memory as Robert Sullivan’s sponsor, but none of that was relevant so she stopped talking, more than happy to listen, as comfortable as she was ever going to be given her current injured state, resting in Carina’s arms.

“Why does Richard know?” asked Teddy - clearly Miranda knew because as Chief she’d seen all of Carina’s registrations as part of agreeing she could work in the hospital, but Richard was unexpected, though it did sort of explain why they seemed to get on well together somehow.

“He asked.” Carina’s to the point answer both surprised and amused her audience, and made Teddy feel a little self-conscious when it highlighted that she hadn’t. “I think Andrea has probably said something to Meredith. He is, when he is not doing so well, angry that I ‘copied’ him and completed general surgery training also, despite I am the older one.” It wasn’t logical, but then not much was when it came to his anger if his condition was involved, just as it was with their father. “Also Kate Lachman...it is one of the many reasons she does not like me.”

“She didn’t mention it…” Teddy had been in Bailey’s office for the video call with the vacationing Head of OBGYN, and she was fairly certain she’d have remembered if general surgery had been mentioned.

“She has a long list, and it is not at the top... it is probably quicker to list what she does not hate about me.”

“Is there anything?” asked Bailey, not meaning the question to sound flippant, but Carina didn’t take it that way.

“She likes Maya’s job.”

“She does? But she’s never met me and...” Maya trailed off, not sure it was her place to say what she was thinking, her opinions formed entirely on what Carina had told her and what she’d seen of the other OBGYN from a distance on the rare occasion she saw her around the hospital.

“...and because you do not have a child in the day care with her daughter, that means she does not keep her thoughts about me from her face. Si, I know that pisses you off bella...”

“Wait, Sofia, Arizona’s Sofia?” Teddy looked at Carina in surprise that she was relevant to this.

“Si. Laura? Lauren? Lachman and Sofia were at the hospital daycare together. So Arizona was a ‘Facebook friend’ for ‘playdates’ and it does not matter, she is very careful to remain professional… and she very much likes that Maya’s shifts are 24 hours and that I do not mind working nights and weekends and holidays if Maya is also working them, because Lachman? She does not.”

“I thought you said she liked your research?”

“No, she thinks my research is...I do not know, because again she is carefully professional. What she likes...Bailey, this is your area to share…”

“Do you mind?”

“Teddy and Maya? No.” Carina felt Maya tense again, so spoke quietly to her, stroking the back of Maya’s left hand and kissed her cheek casually, trying to encourage her to stay calm, before reminding her. “You know that my research contract includes my salary which Teddy does not. The rest you will hear is politica ospedaliera.”

“Carina’s research is  _ fully _ funded, it covers everything. All we have to do is make the time physically available in the MRIs for her scans, the funding pays for them. And it pays for Carina.”

“But your shifts…” That sounded perfectly sensible and logical to Teddy given Carina had arrived solely as a researcher, but she was, by Teddy’s rough guess, working probably an 80% Attending workload and, now she thought about it, there were a very high proportion of weekends, holidays and nights in it. It was why Carina had been forced home at midnight as Christmas Eve turned to Christmas Day, having hit the absolute limit as far as the hospital insurers were concerned or something.

“Are paid for by the research funding. It is in my contract that I can take as much patient work as I want to so long as it is at the hospital facilitating my research. About the only thing my research contract does not provide is the MRI machine. In fact, that reminds me, I must have another argument with them about the research associate.”

“You don’t have a research associate.”

“Si, because I like analysing the scan images myself, but since I am seeing patients, the funders are concerned why I am not using the one they can provide.”

“That’s…”

“One hell of a sweet deal…” agreed Miranda, thinking back to that first meeting with Carina. “...even if I didn’t think her research was worth it, I couldn’t say no...and nor could Kate. Especially as Carina could go anywhere in the world.”

“Si. She likes that I am free and do her work for her so she can have the Christmas vacations and weekend trips...” Carina’s grin turned impish. “...and I do my research on the shift we are both in so we hardly meet except for department meetings.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” asked Bailey, who’d known how strained the relationship was, but had never been able to instigate action as long as Carina didn’t say anything.

“Because I do not want to cause trouble for myself or the hospital, not with Andrea...he is doing well but before...She is not rude or offensive, just cold and distant to me, The staff are lovely, it is a good department and, she does not get in my way. And I do not want to risk my research being stopped because of a fight with a petty, cold woman.”

“I…” Teddy was in shock, at the calm matter of fact way Carina explained how she’d been effectively taken advantage of, but also at the magnitude of her research funding. That was major, major big league funding. “...before you started your research...you were still in Italy…”

“Si, treating OBGYN patients in hospital, but I was no longer doing general surgery very often.”

“But you weren’t, I mean, that level of research support, even from the very big companies and pitched as a ‘sex drug’...” Teddy looked apologetic as she used the shorthand phrase for Carina’s research that she knew totally missed the point of it and ignored all of Carina’s interest in it as an area of research, but it was the quickest way to summarise all the complex politics involved. “...you don’t just get that as an...ordinary Attending type.” This was major global prize winning support.

“Si, you are like Maya, and trying to ask me what my hospital position was not the type of doctor I am.  My last hospital position before I received my research funding was Capo del  Dipartimento Materno-Infantile.”

“Wait what now?”

“Capo del dipartimento...head of the department.”

“No, the other bit, that’s not what you said before…” 

Teddy and Italian were, if anything, an even worse mix than Maya and Italian, something Carina had not really thought possible, which was why being able to talk in Italian with her brother was good, as was the unexpected surprise that Meredith Grey and Cormac Hayes were decent fluent speakers too.

“Fine.” 

Carina sent a pointed look at Bailey, knowing that once she explained herself fully, there was a strong chance her friends could treat her differently...but at least Arizona wasn’t here, as that was an extra complication and had contributed to her original reticence to bring it up, even before the full extent of Kate Lachman’s distaste for her was apparent. 

“Materno-Infantile...is literally saying the department of mothers and children, but it meant all of women’s health, not just ostetricia.”

“You were…” Maya blinked, struggling to understand how she’d never known this, and beating Teddy to the question. “...Head of Paediatrics and OBGYN?”

“Si, for a short while. It is...a different structure in Italy to America, and it was not for me. Head of OBGYN? Si, I do not mind that, but Materno-Infantile? No grazie, there is a reason I am not a paediatrician...but it was a good experience as it gave me the push to decide to try to do my research ‘for real’.”

“Does anyone here know? About you being better qualified than Lachman to be Head of OBGYN... And how...how did you end up doing that?” Teddy thought she had a complicated ‘not Grey Sloan’ medical career that she didn’t really talk about, given the Army postings were not easily mapped against US hospitals, but this....this was like discovering the Little League coach was last week playing the World Series.

“I knew, obviously.” 

Bailey knew why Carina’s...entanglement (because from what she understood back then, it took a while to turn into a relationship) with Arizona had made the Italian a little cautious about declaring her credentials too loudly - there were tensions between OBGYN and Paediatrics over which department took the lead in neonatal medicine, and currently Grey-Sloan was leaning towards Paediatrics after being firmly OBGYN’s when Addison Montgomery had been Head. That Carina didn’t actually care to lead a Paediatric Department would have been lost in the inevitable ego clash...even if Carina didn’t seem to have much of a typical surgeon’s ego a lot of time. But she hadn’t realised how much crappy and down right unacceptable behaviour Carina was having to endure at the hands of Kate Lachman. 

“I couldn’t let her work here without having her registrations and references. Some of the emails and letters came back in Italian, and Meredith helped me out with a couple of phone calls...but that was mostly the universities. The hospital administrators spoke very good English.”

“Does your brother know?” asked Teddy, knowing Arizona well enough to understand why Carina didn’t lead with her former hospital role. 

Maya too, had witnesses enough of Carina’s frustration at the occasional tensions within the hospital as to who was the ultimate authority over the NICU to see why - although she’d not known Carina then - when you are surprised to discover your random hook-up-who-becomes-your-girlfriend is the person who is also the person captaining the ‘other team’, you might be not too quick to shout about your past experiences, especially if you were dealing with everything that Carina was dealing with then. So, regretting that she was currently the one being held, rather than doing the holding, she worked out that if she just...with fierce concentration, she managed to move her right elbow and forearm without startling herself with the jolt of protest coming from her collarbone and shoulder, and then smiled rather proudly when she could tap her girlfriend’s right hand with her own fingers in a clear invitation to hold her hand.

“I do not remember if I told Andrea...ssshh…” She paused, kissing Maya’s shoulder and neck, thanking her for the extra connection, but concerned that her girlfriend’s protectiveness was going to get her in trouble, so moved her left hand into a slightly less awkward angle in case Maya wanted to restart one of their ‘squeezy’ conversations. “...so many questions,” she teased, practically seeing Maya’s brain making steam. 

“He knows I was Head of OBGYN when I first had my research idea, but I forget whether I told him I was made the Materno-Infantile Capo...probably not as I did not want it, it was...politics and I only applied because there was a rumour it would be given to a non-doctor and I did not like that idea. But I did not enjoy it at all - there is a reason I am obstetrics not paediatrics, and the politics, mamma mia! I did not mind it as Capo del Dipartimento Ginecologia e Ostetricia but with the Children’s Health as well? Arguing against the other Department Heads for Children’s Medicine instead of the old man plastic surgery...no grazie, I was not suited to it. But it was good practice for getting the research funding and making the contracts with drug companies...Bailey did you say anything to Amelia?”

Bailey shook her head. She’d not mentioned Carina’s stellar career pre-Seattle to anyone - it wasn’t her place, and she respected Carina’s humility and willingness to just get on with the work, research or patient.

“I always assumed Meredith might have said something to Amelia...certainly I do not know what she said to Kate Lachman when she said she wanted me for her pregnancy, but that might explain why she does not like me with extra enthusiasm…” That had been a mystery to Carina but she’d decided to leave it unsolved, only now she had a new piece of information that she’d failed to appreciate the significance of until now. “Oh, but now I see...it was probably Addison, after the tumour.”

“Extra enthusiasm?” Although Teddy had worked with Addison on a couple of cases, she would never really think of her as a long-standing colleague, nor a friend.

“Addison?” Bailey blinked, the conversation finally arriving into unchartered waters as far as she was concerned. “As in Addison Forbes Montgomery. You know Addison? Our Addison?” For Bailey however, the relationship was rather different.

“We have had dinners or drinks when we were both attending the same conferences…” She playfully rubbed her chin on Maya’s shoulder as she felt a squeeze to her hand, having again told Maya some of the stories of her relief at having another woman with which to share the rather problematic sleaziness of some of her profession. “...especially when she was not married and was giving a paper.” 

Carina wasn’t phased about women enjoying the pleasures of company, and had her own conference hookup experiences in the past, but had always found it annoying how disrespectful men were to her and other women when they didn’t want to be locked in their hotel rooms the night before they presented their papers, but by the same token, didn’t want to be hit on every five minutes in the hotel bar and restaurant. And why these conferences were always held in places that had no independent eating options within easy distances of the hotel locations? That was a whole separate frustration that she’d not let herself get distracted with now….

“What! Addison and…”

“No!” Carina glared at Bailey. “We would have dinner or drinks together so we were not hit on...and we have different perspectives…” For Maya’s benefit, Carina expanded her comment a little, but not before she’d consciously made an effort to make sure she was as relaxed as she could be against the pillows behind her, which was all the hint Maya needed to relax a little more, her brain having finally registered that she could feel Carina’s skin against her back, meaning… “...ah, no wiggling bella..” She turned her head slightly, so she was speaking into Maya’s ear rather than past it, whispering, “...I was wondering when you would notice, but behave for your little adventure.”

* * *

  
  


“Oh my…” Carina’s words to Maya had made Maya pout, forgetting that Carina couldn’t see her face since she was sat behind her, but Teddy and Bailey could, and for Bailey, this was the first experience of it, although neither surgeon had any idea what Carina had said to prompt it.

“Impressive isn’t it?” agreed Teddy, glad that everyone was managing to stay in sufficient good humour to have, for this background context part of the conversation at least, a temper free discussion. “How Carina can withstand that I do not know…but I’m taking notes for when Alison is older.”

* * *

  
  


“Bene, Addison Montgomery, who is not related to your Montgomery,” she added, just for the avoidance of doubt that there was a connection to Travis, but also to help...refocus her girlfriend away from attempting to try and torture Carina. “...she is, in obstetrics, especially focused in the bambini and does the very complex neonatal and fetal surgeries which I do not do. Plus, I am especially focused on the mother. And now…” Carina though back to the last time she’d seen news about her fellow OBGYN. “...si, it has been some years now, we still exchange email occasionally, but I have not seen her since I have been in Seattle. But then I do not go to the Neonatal and Fetal Surgery conferences. I...am happy when there is a Pediatrics department wanting to ‘claim’ it as their specialism. And it was only yesterday I discovered she is Amelia’s brother’s ex-wife.” Since the only other time that she had heard mention of Addison Montgomery in the hospital was with reference to Sofia, Arizona’s daughter needing surgery after being born prematurely, Carina had decided it was diplomatic to not volunteer her professional friendship with Addison, and since Arizona had never asked her if she knew her, she’d completely forgotten Addison even had a Seattle connection.

“I thought that was Meredith?” Maya’s lack of Grey-Sloan history was mostly refreshing and a relief to Carina, who was equally unfamiliar with most of it, but even so, there were still some very fundamental pieces she forgot Maya didn’t automatically know. “Or has Amelia got more than one brother?”

“Meredith is his widow, Addison was his first wife, but I did not know his name as she did not use his name at Conferences and we talked about our work not our personal lives.”

“That’s definitely a massive reason for Lachman hating you,” confirmed Bailey, having had a version of what Carina had described but with much more anger in her call with the other OBGYN. “She...has a lot of opinions about you.”

“Si. She does not like my research funding includes paying for me seeing patients if I want to, so she could not stop you from giving me accreditation when Arizona was pissed at her for not fixing her own mess with the flu and the power cut. And I do not think you were her favourite person for keeping me on Staff afterwards.” The rather haphazard way in which Carina had ended up being on the patient-treating staff at Grey Sloan had been an early story she’d told Maya since it also meant she couldn’t be surprised by any of her friends talking about her time with Arizona. “She also does not like me for asking to see the department records for an ‘investigation’ which Arizona said was because I should have said ‘research study’...but that did show she was doing a lot of c-sections, which she did not like Arizona speaking to her about…”

“Amelia and I having you as our OB won’t have helped.”

“And me…” said Bailey quietly.

“It does not make any difference. She does not like me, but because I am ‘free’ to her department as long as Dr Bailey permits my research and gives me accreditation, there is nothing she can do except enjoy her weekends and Christmases and keep out of my way.” Carina had to whisper to Maya to ease up on her teasing patterns with her right hand - yes, it was an excellent way to demonstrate that her fingers were wiggling well still, but it was not helping Carina’s focus and they both knew that this conversation had now advanced so far it had to finish for any of them to have some peace. “And she hates that I am her husband’s favourite person for that.”

“Not anymore.”

“Scusa?” Carina returned the squeeze Maya gave her left hand, appreciating the great control Maya also managed to show by not overtaxing her right hand and instead just starting a soothing, non-mischievous circling caress on the back of Carina’s hand.

“She liked that you were free. But not anymore. Now she just hates you I’m afraid.”

“Because I now am a department cost?” Carina had been wondering when this would happen, surprised it had managed to go on for this long.

“Because she resigned, which pissed me off.”

“Eh?” Carina had never asked, but always got the sense that Bailey didn’t much care for Kate Lachman even before she’d arrived, so being angered by her resignation confused Carina.

“It meant I couldn’t fire her.”

“Ah.” Carina caught her lower lip in her teeth, wondering what this had to do with her...and whether Maya was still remembering what their original conversation was about that had seen them go down the rabbit hole, because Carina certainly couldn’t.

“Carina?”

“Si?” Carina dragged herself out of her thoughts at the gentle prompting of Maya’s poking to her hand. “Oh, scusa Bailey…” She turned her gaze to Bailey, her frustration at Bailey’s temper appearing forgotten now she’d caught up on a little bit of how the last hour or two must have been for her, though Teddy’s involvement was not yet.

“I am sorry I arrived still in a temper, I didn’t come here to do that.”

“Why did you come?”

“I want you to be Head of OBGYN, as long as your research funding contract allows it, because I do not want to jeopardise that at all…” Bailey might have been originally sceptical about it, but she’d quickly seen that Carina was onto something, and had already started changing her field for the better within months of her first findings, not to mention her under-credited contribution towards Arizona’s innovation idea project and countless other small contributions to lots of other projects. “...and offer you a Staff contract.”

“Instead of my research?”

“As well as. You’ve been doing two jobs since you got here. Least I can do is respect and acknowledge that...but we can talk about that some other time.”

“Ah, grazie, I will have a think and talk with Maya at a better time.”

“Of course.” Bailey prepared to leave, taking the hint that she’d definitely outstayed her welcome based on her initial outburst, but also generally considering Maya was still recovering from major trauma surgeries.

“Umm, can I ask a question? I know it’s none of my business…”

“Si!” Carina leaned forwards just enough to act like a small nudge of encouragement as she absently kissed her left shoulder. “It is your business bella.”

“Why were you trying to get her to look at my scans?”


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....'Julia' is entirely my own invention and isn't the Resident that caused Carina and others all the problems with the 'special' mince pies at Christmas ;-)
> 
> Enjoy....

“Because…” Teddy opened her mouth, frowned, closed it again, her ‘what do I say?’ look directed at Carina unsurprisingly yielding not much of a response. “I mean…” She did her goldfish impression again, but this time as she closed her mouth she was looking at Maya not Carina.

“Maya…” Teddy came around from behind the chair, giving her coffee cup to a surprised Bailey to catch hold of when it became clear that if she didn’t catch it, Teddy was going to drop it. “...can I sit please?”

Maya nodded, finding her anxiety, which had risen sharply when the significance of Teddy’s presence in the conversation that really should have only needed Bailey and Carina registered with her, was sort of ‘stuck’ - not decreasing but not rising either. Somehow, and she didn’t know why she thought this, Teddy’s own anxiety didn’t feel like it was ‘I need to tell you bad news’, though there clearly was something weighing on her.

“First of all, I wasn’t asking Lachman to look at your scans because I’m worried about you. Nothing has changed from when we talked about bullet number 4 on Wednesday, ok?”

“Ok…” Maya chewed her lip, waiting for the next part, focusing on how Carina felt against her back, deciding that as long as Carina was there and feeling still and calm, Maya would try to not let her anxiety increase. “...that’s the one that if it wasn’t me you would have got Carina into the OR to have a look at it?”

“Yes.” Teddy took a deep breath. “I...Hearts are my greatest love, it’s what I set my dream on, it’s why I didn’t take up Ben’s offer of working on the PRT with him, it’s…the Army made me a trauma surgeon, able to react super quickly, to bring some order and control to a person whose body has been flung into chaos...to save the life of someone who’s dying, to get someone who’s doing a mighty fine job of staying alive against the odds into a fairer fight with better odds...to get them to the point where the ‘fight’ is not a fight anymore and the only conversations are about what they’ll encounter along the road to full recovery.”

“Sounds a bit like my job.”

“I’m starting to see that, yeah.” Teddy took another steadying breath, feeling the pressure of Maya’s clear, focused concentration on her, out of practice at talking with someone who wouldn’t rush to fill silences. “I know you get teased about your muscles by Amelia, that we all tease Carina a bit about it...and I know right now you’re probably hating it being brought up because you don’t feel strong or fit...I’ve seen a lot of bullet wounds, all surgeons do, but especially Army surgeons. You learn to recognise the type of bullet from the injuries they cause, able to tell sometimes even before you have found the bullet what was fired and from how far away and things like that. But you also learn how they move, how they slow down in the body…” Teddy looked at Carina for a second, finding her a little easier to read, hoping she was doing this the right way, relieved when she saw the faint twitch and flicker of a smile and a nod from her.

“You’re telling me if I had less muscle mass that bullet would have...?” Maya knew that she hadn’t lost any of her reproductive system, that the bullet had stopped in time. But she’d just assumed it was one of those tiny bits of ‘good’ luck within the wider heap of ‘bad’.

“I can’t prove it, but all my experience and instinct tells me that if there had been less muscle to pass though, that bullet would have had enough energy left to get through all the layers of your uterus, yes.”

“How many does it have? Layers I mean.”

“Three…”

“And if it goes through all three that’s really bad? Even though I’m not pregnant?” Maya might not enjoy her paramedic shifts, but she’d been diligent in her studying for them - lower abdominal trauma, even with no obvious external injury or symptoms, was treated seriously. “I mean, that’s the big time everyone worries right?”

“Si…” Carina agreed with Teddy’s wordless ‘help me now?’ look. “...if all three layers of the uterus are broken, then it is very serious for any woman because that means the fluids of the abdominal system meet the fluids of the uterus and that is a dangerous situation to be in, and the layers themselves do not unmix easily.”

“You’re saying that the bullet got through some of my layers? But not all three?” Teddy nodded. “How many?”

“It stopped in the middle one.”

“That’s good right? I mean, better the middle one than the inner one...how thick is it?”

“The middle one? About 5mm…” Teddy had to smile when Carina looked impressed. “Don’t look so impressed Carina, Bailey had your entire Service sweating over the quiz she gave them so I knew what to look for…”

“Emmett…” said Maya quietly, turning her head towards Carina’s. “...this is what you were explaining to Emmett?”

“In your hose drill lesson? Si.” Carina stretched her neck forwards and managed to just about catch Maya’s lips with her kiss, then took a moment to settle them both back against the bed’s support, so proud of how Maya was holding her anxiety in check. “At the Station on Christmas Day, I was talking to Emmett about how well he did with the situation. We talked about what might have happened if they had made it to Grey-Sloan and how I would have still needed to be called in by you and Bailey even though you both could deliver little baby Carina Climpson by C-section.”

“She explained it that you and Bailey could make sure the baby was safely delivered, without killing or paralysing the mother with your incisions, but that wasn’t the same as making sure there were no complications for the mother after the birth.”

“I should have been at that hose drill lesson…” sighed Teddy, appreciating the summary, a part of her wishing she’d had that in her ear during Maya’s operation. “...I have checked and double checked your scans, including this morning’s ones, and they all definitely show that there is no damage to the inside surface of the middle layer, but the outer layer and outside surface of the middle layer are a bit...grazed I guess. And Bailey has checked and double checked the scans and sees the same thing, as does the Head of Radiology who looks at all sorts of scans all the time, as has Meredith.”

“My insides are popular…what about...” Maya started to shift against Carina.

“Me? No bella, I have not looked. If Teddy offers you a chance to look at them, and you want to see them, and you want me to, I will look with you, but not only am I not your doctor, I could not be your doctor. But I have talked to Teddy and Bailey about what damage to the myometrium-endometrium-interface… scusa, what damage to the inside of the middle layer means and what options are then possible.” Carina looked at Teddy. “You wanted Kate Lachman to look because I will not?”

“Yeah...Maya, this whole thing started because I’m just a trauma surgeon who helped you turn the chaos in your body, that you were fighting brilliantly on your own, into something closer to a fair fight. But I...if it was your heart that had this graze to it, I’d be all over it, knowing all the options, having all the facts for you if you wanted them...and just as Maggie and I have checked and double-checked your ribs, and Link is all over your ankle and collarbone, and Bailey and Meredith have looked and looked again at how Owen and I made sure your abdomen overall and kidney is doing…and Amelia’s looked at your head.”

“My head? But I thought…”

“That the bullets didn’t get through your helmet? They didn’t, but no one can tell us how you fell, and we’re not taking any risks, so Amelia came in and we scanned your head to make sure…” Teddy turned around to look at Bailey. “Did I miss anyone?”

“Avery.”

“Of course...he’s keeping an eye on things for you to make sure you don’t have any issues as you heal which might affect you shifting gears from normal human to Captain Bishop’s standards again.”

“That’s...a lot of you...” Teddy could practically see the thought bubble appearing above Maya’s head, thinking back to the question that was asked at the press thing.

“And one less than it would be if you weren’t our friend Maya.”

“Huh?”

“They, we, all came onto your case because Teddy asked us to,” explained Bailey, also seeing where Maya’s head had gone. “Because we’re doctors and Teddy’s patient needed us. And yes, because I can see what you’re thinking, you aren’t just any patient, you’re Maya, our friend, my husband’s Captain, our friend’s partner….and yes, that did influence how Teddy treated you, but not in the way that sorry excuse of a journalist suggested.”

“The journalist was trying to suggest you got better treatment...and I’m worrying that you’re receiving worse treatment because of who you are because you’ve got every specialist I can get for you apart from one…”

“Carina…but you said you explained when to worry and I’ve not got the thing you need to worry about? Because it’s only as far as the middle layer right?”

“Si. It is not necessary for Teddy to doubt herself so much as clinically it sounds like there is nothing that needs any intervention and the body will heal, though a little medication might be helpful depending on where you are in your cycle…” Carina missed Teddy’s eyes widen as she mentioned this new piece of information. “...but it is very wrong of Lachman to refuse to review your scan until she is back from vacation. Has Julia...”

“...looked at the scans? Yes. But she was the one that sent them to Lachman...and when she got nothing back we followed up.”

“Who’s Julia?”

“Ah, you know her as ‘Residente Preferito’.”

“Oh, the good Resident you never get to be on shift with…” Maya looked thoughtful for a moment. “...isn’t she the one who had that massive crush on you when she first arrived?” 

“Who is still very guilty about that when she is drunk, only she apologises to you not me? Si, that is Julia.” 

Maya hadn’t had any direct experience of what was fundamentally some innocent hero worship combined with the ‘oh, maybe I’m not straight’ epiphany, and Carina had managed to deal with it while she was still with Arizona and it had no lasting impact on their working relationship. Nevertheless, it had contributed to some funny memories that had needed sharing with Maya after she’d joined Carina when there had been an OBGYN night out, and had to cope with being on the receiving end of a drunk Resident’s ardent and passionate declaration of respectful professional love of Carina’s skill as an OBGYN. There was an element of ‘the lady doth protest too much’ about it, but there was absolutely nothing about it that actually made Maya worry. After all, who was she to judge anyone for being rendered speechless and a little bit in love by her brilliant and beautiful girlfriend?

“But she’s good right? You said yourself she was impressing you...”

“Si, I do not expect Julia to have to need a second opinion on a situation such as yours. Everyone is making Teddy anxious, which is making everyone anxious...” ...including Carina, but she managed to keep that worry deep inside her….she hoped.

“What she said,” agreed Maya, appreciating Teddy’s point, but having faith and confidence in Carina’s experience, even without seeing her scans. “And I’m not sure Lachman’s opinion would have helped so no great loss. Plus, if Carina thinks Julia is good enough to know about this stuff, that’s good enough for me.”

There was a pause, while Carina and Maya’s combined calmness sunk into Teddy and Bailey, their pragmatic outlook genuine and uncontrontrived.

“Bailey?”

“Yes Maya?”

“If Amelia’s now got an MRI of my head, can you please get her to explain to you why it’s your husband’s French Toast technique rather than my ability to appreciate a good orgasm that’s the problem?”

Bailey opened her mouth…

….and closed it again, clasping her hands together in front of her as she tried to give Maya her intern spontaneous death glare….which only made Maya’s eyebrow rise.

“Captain Bishop Two…” began Teddy, like she was reading out the sports scores. “....Chief Bailey Zero.”

“Fine, but that’s also the number of orgasms you’re going to be enjoying until Teddy tells you otherwise.”

“Wait, what?” Maya tried to turn around again, but again managed to check herself in time. Carina’s face however, was a picture, and directed at Bailey.

“Oh yes, that bit Julia did remember to tell us, and excruciatingly embarrassing it was for all of us.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Maya wasn’t sure she was in a particular rush to be in the mood to go as far as craving an orgasm, but of course, the minute she was told she couldn’t…

“The middle layer is the muscle layer of the uterus Maya,” said Teddy calmly, making a mental note to drop Bailey in it at some point somehow as retaliation. 

Sure, it had been very awkward stood around a screen, studying Maya’s uterus with the OBGYN Resident who’d suddenly turned bright red and stammered out that any spasm or contraction of the muscles should be avoided in order minimise the risk of further damage but ‘ _ Dr Orgasm would already know that there could be no orgasms’ _ . But making Teddy actually have to  _ tell  _ Maya this? In front of  _ Dr Orgasm _ ? Bailey was so going to get it at some point….

“And I hadn’t said anything because I was kind of thinking Carina would have figured that out for herself and, well…” Teddy nodded her head a little in lieu of using actual words.

“Grazie Teddy, si, I had worked that out and had been hoping it would not be brought up for a little while..she is right bella…” sighed Carina softly, returning the squeeze Maya gave to her left hand. “But we will survive…” she whispered, kissing Maya’s neck behind her ear. “...and use a lot of cold water....” she teased, smirking when she discovered Maya had worked out how to deliver a pinch with her right hand. “...and we can both vent our frustration at Teddy.”

“Bailey, you vent at Bailey, she’s the bad guy here…” protested Teddy, knowing Carina was teasing her. “And I think it’s still 2-1 to Maya…”

“I think it’s a tie actually…” sighed Maya, leaning even more deeply into Carina’s comforting support. 

“Really?” That was not what Bailey was expecting.

“...no more Lachman…she gets a point for that...” Maya had appreciated why Carina hadn’t wanted to officially raise anything about the OBGYN Head, but was happy to admit she was relieved Carina no longer had to deal with her.

“Si bella, no more Lachman.” Carina kissed her cheek thoughtfully, reflecting on that, finding the doubts being shown by Teddy to be unusual and atypical for her usually confident friend, at least when it came to her patients, wondering what else had been said in the phone call. “You feel sleepy bella…”

“I’m awake…” protested Maya, thinking she might lose her shot at her ‘adventure’ if she was falling asleep.

“Si, but maybe it is naptime for you?” Carina looked at Teddy, her eyebrow raised, unable to see Maya’s face. “I think there is time before our adventure is planned…”

“Definitely.” Teddy stood up, patting Carina on the knee as she did. “I said 3.30 to Amelia and it’s not even 3 yet. And we should probably go tell Julia her boss just resigned…”

“Yeah.”

“Say yes…” mumbled Maya, turning her head to the left so she could see a bit of Carina’s face through her sleepy eyes. “...details can be sorted out later, but it’s you.” Maya knew Carina’s research funding would allow it - they’d had the conversation in the past, when Carina had been on the receiving end of a particularly difficult to work with Lachman for three consecutive shifts, about if some miracle happened and the Head of Department post was vacant, what Carina could or might do.

“You are sure?”

“Mmm.”

“You do not mind?”

“Only if you say no because of me.”

“Grazie mio amore.” Carina kissed the part of Maya’s cheek she could reach. “Now, naptime per favore.”

“But I’m lying on you.”

“Si. I want a nap too bella. You are my excuse.”

“Oh...that’s different…” agreed Maya, carefully stretching her neck and left shoulder tiny amounts so she was at optimum comfort on ‘her pillow’. “...but I’ll wait.”

“Bene bella…” Carina smiled at her girlfriend’s stubbornness, then looked up at Bailey primarily, but included Teddy too. “...grazie mille Bailey, I accept your offer to be Head of the OBGYN Department.”

“And the Staff Contract?”

“Si, and the contract, thank you. It will work with my research.”

“Thank you Carina, and…” Bailey reached out with both arms, making her look, decided a very, very sleepy Maya, like she was a penguin about to flap her flippers, which made her smile. “...welcome, again, to Grey Sloan.”

“Bene, grazie. You may tell Julia and the Senior Nurses when you like, but per favore, tell them together.”

“Oh, but…”

“That is how I have always run my departments.” 

Before this conversation, Teddy conceded she might have dismissed that ‘s’ sound on the end of ‘department’ as a casualty of Carina’s English, but not now. Now, she was assuming it was deliberate....and entirely non-negotiable.

“We’ll make sure we tell Julia and the nurse leads on NICU and the wards together.”

“Thank you Teddy, thank you Miranda.”

“Sssh…” mumbled Maya, finding she didn’t appreciate her ‘pillow’ making so much noise. “..na’ti…”

And, with a final exchange of smiles between the three surgeons, the two not pinned to the bed by a fast asleep Fire Captain took their leave, leaving Carina to take her own nap - Maya was right, it was ‘naptime’.

Head of Department.

Capo del Dipartimento.

Life really was full of surprises...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random author note - the very first attempt at Chapter 1 of this fic had Bailey telling Amelia to ring Addison and get her 'overdressed butt on a plane'. But I abandoned that plan, though never quite lost the idea of Carina and Addison somehow being connected... and this, for those of you that have read it already, explains another of the 'spoilers' in the Valentine's Day [the next story in this series].
> 
> Random researching for this fic author note - it was almost scary how hard it was to find any sort of information about the uterus that wasn't specifically associated with pregnancy or menstruation. It was almost like it phases in and out of existence, only actually being present in a woman's body when actively required to demonstrate fertility and childbirth....rather than being, you know, an integral part of a body. *looks at soapbox...remembers this is fanfic research related...goes to find some chocolate cake instead*.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments, kudos and general time taken up reading this little meander through life.
> 
> Onwards we go :-)

“She said what?” Amelia used her access card to open the door onto the ward and waited for Teddy to carry on with her explanation.

“That you’re to tell Bailey Carina’s great in bed, Maya’s very satisfied and Ben’s hopeless at cooking French Toast.”

“She didn’t.”

“A little bit of paraphrasing, but not much.” Teddy pasted on a smile as one of the interns hovered, clutching a chart for her to look at.

“And this was after she’d told her to apologise to you?”

“Yeah. That’s fine.” She smiled, genuinely at the intern, as she gave them back the chart. “But next time check with Dr Pierce, she’s her patient, not mine.”

“Yes Dr Altman.” As the intern hurried away, Amelia nudged her friend with her shoulder. “You’re going soft.”

“Today? Yes...it was...what that woman said, I mean, what had Carina ever done to her?”

“Be a rockstar and outshine many of us. Why didn’t we think to ask her? Why was it only Richard…” Her phone made the message alert sound and she caught Teddy’s sleeve, telling her to wait up. “...it’s from Addison. She says send her the scans and she’ll have a look, then talk to you after that…” Another message alert. “...oh, and you’re to tell Carina and Maya, because when she’s got the scans she’s going to ring Carina to tell her off for not calling her immediately as she’d have been on a plane and met you in theatre.” Amelia looked up in surprise. “Wow, they really do know each other well. How did I not know this?” Another message. “Oh, no, I’m not telling Bailey that…” Amelia typed out a reply quickly.

  
“Not telling me what?”

“Geesh, you trying to…never mind.” Amelia just put her phone under Bailey’s nose. “From Addison.”

“Well, she’s half right.” Bailey took Amelia’s phone and typed in a reply, pressed send and after a couple more taps, gave the phone back to Amelia and continued going wherever it was she’d been going, which wasn’t Maya’s room as she walked straight on and out the other end of the ward.

“What did…” Teddy stood tight against Amelia so they could both read the phone screen. “...where’s it gone?”

“She deleted it…”

* * *

  
  


“Mas?”

“Yeah?”

“Close your eyes.”

“But…”

“Close your eyes because I know you’ve got a photographic memory.”

"Yes but…"

"Your sister is trying to tell you she would prefer that you do not see my chest until after I have refastened my bra and shirt." 

Personally Carina had been unconcerned - given how he was kneeling on the bed, ready to help Maya stay mostly sat up when Carina moved out from behind her, she didn't think he would have seen anything anyway. But she did understand a big sister's mindset, and if their roles were reversed and it was Andrea, she would be saying much the same thing, only she did not think he had a photographic memory.

"Oh." He coloured, nodded his head a couple of times and closed his eyes tight, making Carina laugh.

"Bene." She took hold of Mason's right hand, moving it so it was resting on his sister's left shoulder. "You will move your hand down and across her back as I lean back but only until your elbow is level with her shoulder and your hand does not cross her spine."

"Umm…"

"You will be fine, and we will all be using our words," teased Carina, not remotely concerned as she was not going to move very far. "Maya is very strong with her left arm and is going to be using that strength and I am also going to still be here. Bene?"

"Yeah…"

"Bella?"

"Remind me what you are going to do?"

"I am going to lean back enough to get my shirt fastened and see if I have any pins and needles. So you will feel Mason's arm, a little cool air and maybe my legs move a tiny bit, but I will not be going away. And then you will feel me coming back with the shirt fabric against your back."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Ok. Mas?"

"My eyes are shut."

"Open your eyes Mas…" sighed Maya, prodding his knee with her left index finger until he did so. "...I overreacted."

"Umm…" He opened his eyes and glanced at Carina, seeing her nodding that she was absolutely fine with his eyes staying open, then looked at his sister. "Ok. So are you telling us when you are ready or on the count of three or…oh, yeah, that works.” 

As he spoke, Carina had leaned back just enough to have room to catch the front ends of her bra together, watching as his arm instinctively moved down as Carina had instructed him to do, while Maya's arm tensed, pulling against his left arm. After fastening a single button so she wouldn't lose the shirt when she did move, Carina leaned back just enough to put one hand on the bed and push up from the bed enough to move her hips back from Maya a tiny amount..

"Bene, I am back." She nodded to Mason that he could remove his arm from his sister's back and waited to see what happened, the fabric of her shirt brushing lightly against Maya's back. "Let go of Mason bella."

"I'm…" Maya eased up her tight grip on his arm.

"Don't think about it," said Carina quietly, pleased with Maya's progress, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that yes, she was sitting up on her own, not actually putting any of her weight onto Carina. "Just remember to breathe," she encouraged, waving to Mason that he should get down from the bed now. Drawing her left leg up the bed so her sock clad foot was now level with Maya's hip, she then waved Mason to hop back into his previous position, wanting Maya to feel like help and support was literally within arm's reach. "How are you feeling?"

"Sort of slumped. A bit stuck."

"Slumped and a bit stuck is good. Any new pain?"

"No." 

After they'd woken up from 'naptime' - Maya had woken first, which had disturbed Carina who had only been in the lightest of dozes as she'd only said she wanted a nap to make Maya stop fighting her own sleepiness - they had had a serious discussion about how Maya's various injuries were feeling. Carina was fully prepared to abandon the little adventure plan if there was any risk of it being too much too soon, especially after their unplanned ‘excitement’ with Bailey and Teddy’s bonus visit, so had subjected her girlfriend to a careful cross-examination about how she was  _ actually  _ feeling. This had prompted a brief reappearance of grumpy Maya, who had even gone so far as to complain she felt like she was being 'doctored' by Carina…. and then regretted it when Carina proceeded to demonstrate that the questioning was much worse to endure if she wasn't interspersing her questions with kisses and chin rubs to Maya's shoulder. Patients, explained Carina seriously, did not get kisses or Carina as their backrest, nevermind Carina with her shirt and bra undone so that she didn't irritate the skin on her girlfriend's back.

“Magnifica!” 

Carina used her ability to push using her left leg to put enough distance between her and Maya so she could reclaim her right leg and in a flurry of contained movement, before Maya and Mason had really appreciated what was happening, she was calmly sitting cross legged behind Maya, buttoning her shirt fully, contemplating Maya’s back.

“Admiring my bruises?”

“Si…” Carina lifted her hand and lightly traced the fading marks that appeared at various points on her girlfriend’s otherwise injury free back. “...why didn’t you say anything?”

“I never really felt them…” Maya heard Carina’s breath hitch, and corrected herself. “...I don’t mean I can’t feel my back…I...it’s not the first time I’ve fallen backwards...probably one of the most gentle…” Maya didn’t have much memory of being shot, suspecting that what she did think she had memories of were probably reconstructions based on the bits and pieces she’d either been told happened, or could infer. “...the water heater explosion was the hardest....but they’re pretty much faded right?”

“Si.” Carina looked at the pattern they had made. “It is the suspenders? From your turnouts?”

“Unless there’s any from whatever I landed on, yeah...if I get any bruises it’s usually from the crossover in the back and the anchors on the waist. I used to oh man…” Maya groaned and took what had become her current version of a weary sigh.

“Bella? Are you…”

“I’m fine, promise.” She turned her head towards her right, following the sound of Carina’s voice, hoping she’d see her smile of reassurance. “Hello…” Grinning at this ‘new’ view of her girlfriend, Maya crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out, making Carina laugh. “...I was going to say I used to get the marks on my shoulders, like if your bag strap digs in?”

“You have none of those.”

“I know, after a while your kit breaks in, like a new pair of shoes does I guess.”

“Ah, and you remembered you are getting new kit.”

“Yeah, and new bruises...god I’m going to look like Probie...”

“You will not be Captain?” Carina was alarmed at this idea, not liking the thought that after everything that had happened to her, Maya would be considered a lesser firefighter.

“That feels good…” Maya’s brain was struggling to focus, Carina’s gentle tracing of her bruised back had turned into a very careful but amazing mix of stroking and ‘magic prodding’ and another layer of constant background ‘ow’ had begun to quieten. “...oh, no...not like that. I mean our kit changes colour a bit over time. When you get a new coat you look...like a bad match, which is good.”

It was Mason who understood her point first.

“So only the new firefighters usually have a complete set of brand new kit? Everyone else looks a bit…” He thought back to the times he’d seen firefighters in what he now knew to call their turnout kit. “...like a mixture of smoky dark greys with a bit of strong graphite if they’ve got a new coat or pants, but you’re going to be all strong graphite?”

“Yeah.” She gave him a broad smile and a squeeze of his hand that she was still holding ‘just in case’. “And brand new suspenders which will give me bruises again...”

“Ah…” Carina concluded her impromptu ‘back rub’ with a kiss to the back of Maya’s neck. “...you will just have to try to persuade me to give you more back rubs then,” she teased, nudging Maya out of her little sadness, appreciating that feeling at ease again in her firefighting kit would be an important milestone in Maya’s recovery, if only for the simple fact that she would need to be a long way into rebuilding her upper body strength to even try wearing it for any length of time.

“Sounds like a sweet deal to me,” joked Mason, laughing when his sister stuck her tongue out at him.

“Get your own girlfriend…boyfriend...whatever…” Maya paused, a new thought occurring to her. “...but no cats. Or dog. The puppies don’t share.”

“No pets, got it.”

“Umm…” Maya looked at him thoughtfully, realising she’d been incredibly self-absorbed these last few days and not actually asked him anything at all about his friends and so on.

“I’m single…” He squeezed her hand and lightly tapped her nose, like she’d done to him when they were kids and she was ‘reading his mind’. “...and you’re not supposed to be worrying about me.”

“I’m your sister...it’s kind of what we do.”

“Si,” agreed Carina, who while Mason had been holding Maya’s attention, had got down from the bed and was now standing by Maya’s right side. “I’m going to bring the bed up again for you…” she said quietly, suspecting Maya wouldn’t have noticed, but not wanting to surprise her.

“I’m good May, I...Carina already talked to me about not losing my friends and stuff.” He squeezed her hand again. “But if I went to go see them now they’d kick my butt for leaving you.” His attempt at a joke got a small smile from her, but didn’t entirely get rid of her worrying. “...but, maybe...I don’t know when your team’s doing it’s next visit, but maybe they could take a message? So no one’s worrying about either of us.”

“Of course! But what do you mean both of us?”

“Capitán Paloma de Fuego.” Seeing Carina was done with adjusting the bed, he squeezed his sister’s left hand again, then let go, hoping Carina would take the hint and take over for him.

“Who’s that?”

“Who’d you think  _ Captain _ ?”

“Bu…” Maya was confused, and seeing him head for the door only confused her further.

“Shh, tranquilla…” Carina had enough Spanish to put the whole puzzle together, knowing too that the Station 19 support for the homeless camps had only expanded, quietly and in such a way that no one would notice at the Department in a bad way, since Maya had become Captain and again when she’d got out from under Dixon’s obsessive scrutiny. “...he just needs a little space…” In fact, up until a few seconds ago, Carina had thought she was the only person who knew that the ‘anonymous donor’ who ensured there was a semi regular donation to Station 19 with extra supplies for them to take on their welfare visits to the homeless camps in their district was Maya. But clearly something had given her away to her brother, even when their relationship was broken.

“But…”

“He has left his pens and papers, he will be back.”

  
  


“Hell…” Amelia’s bright greeting died on her lips, not having expected to see Maya sitting up on her own, but also not expecting to see her crying. “...oh, should we…” Suddenly Mason’s rather brief wave as he walked by her in the corridor just now took on a new context.

“No, come in…” sniffed Maya, blinking hard to stop her tears. “...I’m fine.”

“Ok…” Amelia didn’t sound convinced, but came in anyway, like every doctor who visited, immediately detouring to the basin to wash her hands.

“Si, she is. Just a little...wrong-footed by something.” Carina looked from Amelia to Maya, “...that is right?”

“Yeah,” grinned Maya, enjoying Carina’s enthusiasm when she finally mastered an idiom she’d previously struggled with. “That’s right.”

“I did not realise you didn’t know…” Carina didn’t want to upset her girlfriend again, but was feeling rather bad that she’d made an assumption.

“Know what?”

“That…” Carina paused, not quite sure how to explain it. “...Amelia?”

“Hello.”

“When you help at the weekend clinic…”

“The pro-bono one?”

“Si, you have had patients who came because of the Palomas de Fuego also?”

“Absolutely!” Amelia finished drying her hands and came up the left side of the bed. Like Carina, she was putting the pieces together. “Wait, you didn’t know?”

“Know what? What does palomas mean?” Maya could recognise ‘fire’.

“Doves. Amongst the camps, because of your station’s welfare checks and what you guys did for Joey I guess...your Station’s known as the Fire Doves. We’re getting patients at our clinics who have avoided coming for years but turn up and tell us the ‘fire doves’ said it would be ok….been hearing it for a couple of years at least.” She looked at Carina, bemused at how this was new information for Maya. “We thought you knew…” And then it hit her. “...but you avoided the camps so as not to spook Mason.”

“How do you know about that?” Maya didn’t think anyone outside her team knew about that.

“Don’t be mad...do you remember you kicking Ben and me out of your bunk?”

“I didn’t...oh, yeah.” Maya smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t  _ kick _ …”

“No, but your look? You are so teaching me how to do that…” Amelia looked positively gleeful at the thought of being able to scare Interns a whole new level of shitless if she could do a look like the one Maya had shot at them on Christmas Day. “...and can I have a halligan for my birthday please? A proper one like you guys have? They’re awesome.”

“You’re not going to use it on the interns are you?” worried Maya, having a sudden image of Amelia greeting her interns brandishing a halligan.

“Overkill, but now you mention it...a little one for surgery would be amazing…”

“Amelia!”

“You’re right, I’ve already got something like that…” she agreed, grinning. “...I’ll just have a proper one then? And don’t be mad at Ben, he...was right to make the points he made.”

“I’m not mad, and I’m not getting you a halligan for your birthday...”

“Aww…” Amelia pouted, happy to play the clown for a minute or two to help Maya’s mood lift, knowing Teddy had been delayed by another couple of ‘quick’ questions. But she was genuinely disappointed at the thought of not getting a halligan of her own.

“...I’ll talk to Andy - we’ll get you up to the Station and teach you how to use it properly.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. We’ve always got some car doors and windshields lying around for training with, plus some bits of dry wall and stuff. I’m sure the guys can set up something fun for you to smash up. Carina and Teddy too if they want.”

“Si?” Carina’s eyes were sparkling at the idea.

“If I want what?”

“To go to Maya’s Station and smash stuff up with a halligan.”

“I want.” Teddy could quite happily take a blunt teaspoon to one of her patient’s partners, who was trying to be ‘Dr Google’ and driving her and Maggie up the wall. “Don’t know what that is, but you had me at smash stuff. When?”

“I’ll talk to Andy...you…” Maya looked out the window and saw it was snowing or sleeting again. “...probably want to wait until it’s not so cold…” She looked back and saw Teddy and Amelia looking disappointed. “...as then you can enjoy having a go with a hose, if you wanted to…”

“Si, we want.”

“We can be patient,” agreed Teddy, looking very excited at the idea of being able to have a go at using the hose as well as ‘smash stuff’.

“We can?” Amelia shot Teddy a dirty look. “Elbows! We’re supposed to use elbows!” Teddy took a couple of steps closer and duly obliged. “Better. Hey!” Belatedly Amelia reacted to her ‘elbowing’. “Oh, right…” She looked at Maya. “...we can definitely be patient for hoses.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter feels like it might benefit from a drum roll.... ;-)

“...grazie….si....bene, arrivederci Addison.” Carina put her phone in her pocket and looked at Teddy. “She has a surgery, but will look and call you in about three hours if that works with your schedule.”

“It does.” And if it didn’t, well Maggie had already said she’d cover for Teddy. “Thank you Maya.”

“Me?” Maya looked up on hearing her name, having been watching as Amelia and a nurse, who had come down from the orthopedic wards, had just finished putting on the strapping Link wanted her to wear for the moment. “Why?”

“For letting us all overreact and get Addison to look at your scans.”

“Oh.” She felt Carina squeeze her left hand and returned it, looking at her girlfriend who was now looking at Maya’s ankle with a curiosity that Maya could tell was mostly a distraction activity. “Sure.” She squeezed Carina’s hand again, stroking the back of it with her thumb. “Is it weird to find wearing shorts weird?”

“No.” Carina laughed and leaned in to kiss Maya’s temple, appreciating the change of topic. “But it is just weird, not sore?”

“Just weird…” Maya looked down at the loose fitting shorts she was now wearing, Carina and the orthopedic nurse having helped her get them over her hips with a bit of carefully assisted ‘wiggling’ with Teddy’s help, right before Addison had rung Carina. For the moment, she was just wearing the shorts, with underwear underneath agreed to be unnecessary for this brief adventure, not least because she’d probably be too tired after that wrestling match to put them on. “...and that brings back memories.”

“Yeah?” Amelia lifted and restuck the final strap, having not quite got the velcro lined up as well as she could have with her first attempt.

“Yeah. Think I’ve got one of those at home somewhere still.” Seeing her comment had now attracted the attention of the nurse, ‘Sam’ according to her name badge, Maya decided she should probably give a better explanation as it could be useful now. “I rolled my ankle very badly just before the Final, ran on it anyway - it was forecast to be a wet, cool day so I was going to be running in compression socks which meant no one saw how much tape I’d put on it. I knew as soon as I’d finished the race that if I took the tape off though…”

“Bam?” suggested Sam, able to picture what would happen to a freshly trashed ankle once the compression was removed.

“Pretty much. I managed to keep it on until after the ceremony…” and, mentally added Carina, that was after her father had left the UK, which was almost certainly her girlfriend’s greater motivation.

“Ceremony?”

“Medal Ceremony, day after the race…”

“She’s talking about the Olympics Amelia.” It had taken Carina a little while to adjust to how, for all the pride that Maya had when she spoke of her Olympic Gold Medal, the race was just ‘the race’, or occasionally ‘the Final’. And since coming to terms with the abusive aspect of her father’s behaviour, Maya had barely spoken about the race or the medal unless someone or something prompted it, like Naomi Climpson recognising her and now, with this strapping.

“Oh, right. Wait, you’re talking about  _ that  _ race?”

“Yeah…” Maya looked at Amelia, her confusion evident. “...you know I won the Gold Medal at the London Olympics…” It had been one of Amelia’s first ‘go to’ areas of puns and nicknames, though Maya suspected Carina had told her off at some point...which was almost right, as it had actually been Teddy after ‘the coffee cart’.

“Well yeah, but…” Amelia was about to try and explain that she’d not consciously made the connection between Maya having the Gold Medal and all the races and ceremonies and so on.

“Shit, you’re Maya Bishop.” Sam went bright red. “I’m sorry, that was…”

“A perfectly natural reaction,” said Teddy, thinking back to what she’d witnessed not even a week ago when Naomi Climpson had gone through a similar experience, guessing Maya needed a moment to recover from the shock of being recognised again. “And I meant to show you this…” She pulled out her phone and, finding a photo, passed the phone to Maya. “...and yes, I know you’re probably mortified, but things like Team USA winning Gold mean a lot when you’re overseas.”

“Is that…”

“Me making a fool of myself when I was at MEDCOM in Germany? I’d forgotten I had that photo until you were showing Naomi your things, but it took me a while to find it.” She watched as Maya zoomed in and saw Teddy, in her Army uniform, a piece of paper with ‘1717’ pinned to the front of it and a lot of other soldiers jumping up and down pouring fizzy water they were pretending was champagne over Teddy’s head. She’d actually not been able to find a copy when she’d first looked, then forgetting about it completely, but after everything that had happened to Maya, she’d emailed an old Army contact and asked them to go on a hunt for it, sensing there would be a moment when giving Maya something to tease her about, or distract her with might be handy. Not to mention it was finally sinking in for Teddy that her friend had  _ won a freaking gold medal at the Olympics... _

“Why the number?” asked Carina, sitting down on the bed next to Maya and resting her head on her left shoulder, partly because it made it easier to see the photo, but mostly to support Maya.

“I can’t believe I’m telling you, of all people this, it’s so embarrassing…” Teddy took her phone back and found another photo. “...we’d had a silly ‘lookalikes’ vote at the start of the Olympics and I’d been voted your lookalike…” Teddy chuckled at Carina’s expression. “...blonde and female was enough. I’d only been there a couple of months, and being Chief of Staff no one knew me. Most of the lookalikes were more like total opposites and done as pranks…” She saw their confusion. “...so, like the Women’s Basketball team ‘lookalikes’ were the shortest guys on the Staff.”

“So if you’d not been there my ‘lookalike’ would have, what, been someone who looked like Miller or Sullivan?”

“Something like that,” agreed Teddy. “Anyway, we had the TVs showing the Olympics pretty much constantly, timezone was easier for us there...Media sent a photographer when your Final came around to take some pictures - nothing to do with you I’m afraid, but because I was going to be made a fool of in a...family friendly way, and Media could never get enough of those sorts of pictures, especially if it involved Command Staff.”

“I don’t know what to say…” said Maya finally, handing Teddy back her phone.

“Nothing is probably best,” said Teddy, pocketing her phone. “I don’t think I ever got around to knowing your name - I was just told I was a ‘woman runner’ and to be honest? I was so relieved they’d given me someone who was almost a lookalike, rather than…” She shrugged. “...I was sort of expecting to be a male weightlifter you know?” Maya nodded, understanding the type of humour that made that seem the obvious choice - firefighters weren’t that different to soldiers it seemed. “It was seeing the pictures of you with your number that made me make the connection.”

“Glad it made your team have a good time,” said Maya quietly, looking at the nurse, who was still slightly pink. “And yeah, I’m that Maya Bishop. You ran track?”

“Yeah, 10k like you, well, not like you obviously...I was in with a shot of State times but slipped on some ice and blew my knee.”

“Ouch.” Maya could sympathise with that.

“Yeah, but rehab got me interested in orthopedics - no way I was going to be a doctor, but nursing or PT looked good and here I am.” She grinned, tilting her head towards Maya’s ankle. “How’s that feeling? Compared to last time if you can remember?”

“Feels ok I guess…” Maya caught her lip in her teeth as she tried to flex her foot. “...is it supposed to flex? Last time I was completely locked.”

“That was probably the swelling if you went almost straight into it after the tape came off?” Seeing Maya nod, the nurse continued, trying to choose her words carefully, picking up on the slight tension suddenly emanating from the doctors. “You’re not coming straight off an Olympic Final this time.”

“Oh, right, yeah…” Maya contemplated her foot again. “...it’s had a few days of RICE, not so much on the ice though.” But it had plenty of opportunity for the rest, compression and elevation given she’d not gone anywhere for a few days. “So it’s just to stop it twisting?”

“Yes. And the rods will help you feel a little more solid on it.” She turned and looked at it, giving it a couple of tweaks to just make sure. “Wiggle your toes for me please?” Maya obliged. “Any discomfort?”

“No.”

“Excellent. Thanks for the assist Dr Shepherd…” Although the Orthopedic Wards staff were used to Dr Shepherd coming by with Scout to see Dr Lincoln, it was rather different having her as the ‘assistant’ in applying a strapping. “Maya, when you want to take it off just pull everything loose, don’t worry about trying to keep it in shape. But if you want any help one of us can come down.”

“Thanks…” Maya looked at Carina, her expectation that it would be Carina helping her when the time came to ‘undress’.

“Si, grazie Sam, that makes sense.”

“Alright, and I’m sorry, again, for my reaction…”

“It’s fine, really.” Maya smiled, thinking it hopefully meant the press, if they were still talking about her, weren’t mentioning the medal every other sentence. As the nurse left, Maya looked around her and smirked.

“What?” asked Amelia, wondering what was amusing Maya.

“Just thinking...has there ever been a more expensive OT session?”

“Eh?” Carina wasn’t following her girlfriend’s logic.

“Three Heads of Department helping me put my socks on...got to be a hospital record right?”

“That’s a point…” said Teddy, looking at Amelia thoughtfully.

“What?”

“Can you even bill for something that far away from the head?”

* * *

  
  


“Are you sure?” asked Maya, now sitting on the edge of the bed, her feet in socks and sneakers, an SFD version of the Grey Sloan sweatshirt over her modified shirt for warmth and modesty, chewing her lip nervously.

“Si bella.” Carina was standing in front of her understandably nervous girlfriend, “you could stand on one leg before yes?”

“Yes…” Maya was still not quite looking convinced. “...but…” She looked down at her middle.

“And you could carry your heavy tools you were telling me about with each hand si?”

“Yeah…” Maya’s nervousness was starting to be dismantled by her girlfriend’s careful use of Maya’s own professional skills straight back at her.

“So you can squeeze Teddy’s shoulder as tight as you need to with your arm only as you stand on one leg. We will do everything else, bene?”

“Is this where you tell me this is literally your job and to get on with it?” Maya looked from Carina to Teddy and Amelia, then back to Carina.

“My job, si. Theirs not so much, which is why I get to be the bossy one.”

“Ok.” Maya looked down at her feet, checking her shoe laces were knotted tightly, absently noting that Amelia tied shoelaces in a really weird way compared to Teddy and neither of them did it the same way as Maya herself, then at her right arm, which was resting across her body, the teddy bear that Carina had for her Station 19 Cap between her forearm and her stomach, helping to keep her elbow and upper arm from resting against her broken ribs. Finally, she looked at her left arm and tentatively flexed and relaxed her hand, then her forearm muscles, then her biceps.

“I still can’t get over how you can do that….hey!” Teddy looked over Maya’s shoulder at Amelia, who had elbowed, no, poked her in the kidney. Teddy’s right hand was resting on Maya’s left shoulder, so she had just had the same experience Carina had when Maya had demonstrated her ability to use her arm muscles without tensing her shoulder, only she’d been seeing the muscles tense in Maya’s arm while her hand felt no change at the shoulder. She’d already had the shoving demonstration as Carina had called it, and while she understood how it was possible, it was still impressive.

“On behalf of DeLuca, no drooling over Captain Softie’s muscles.”

“Grazie Amelia.” Carina caught Maya’s eye and saw she was amused by their friends’ antics. “Bene?”

“Why have I got the bear again?”

“Because he is cuter than a pillow.” Carina put her hand on Maya’s right hand, which was loosely holding the nose of the bear, its body lying against her side, trapped in place by her forearm. “When you stand, you will find a little press…” She demonstrated what she meant by lightly pushing on Maya’s hand with her own. “...helps everything work. On the wards we give patients a pillow, but the bear is a better shape as he can also help with your collarbone and ribs without being so heavy against your incisions.”

“Ah.” That made more sense how she actually had the bear to hold - she’d thought she was paying close attention when Carina had explained the plan to them, Teddy and Amelia having as little clue how this had been going to work as Maya had, but it hadn’t quite stuck. “And you’re right…” she said, looking down at the bear as she gave it another practice push. “...he is cuter than a pillow.” Maya looked around. “Where’s his cap?”

“Here…” Carina picked it up from the bedside unit’s lower shelf. “...if it does not curse the Station, I want you to borrow it.”

“Why…” Maya had been about to ask why it would curse the station, before remembering Carina explaining she’d indulged in the small fiction to stop people, which Maya had immediately realised meant Amelia and Andrew were the prime suspects, from deciding they could try on the hat. “...do I need to wear it?”

“You do not have enough hands to tuck your hair behind your ear if it tickles.” Carina held it out for Maya to take and put on, giving her a hand when she asked for help. “And I thought you would prefer this to a scrub cap or hair net.”

“Yeah, definitely this.” 

“Alright. That is it.” Carina looked at her friends, checking they were ready - Teddy was on Maya’s left to be her active support while Amela was hovering at her right side ready to ‘catch’ Maya if she wobbled too far backwards or to her right, while Carina was right in front of her girlfriend for a mixture of motivational encouragement and support. “We are ready when you want to stand up.”

“Just on my left leg?”

“Just on your left leg, using Teddy as a post.”

“Alright...Teddy…” Maya lifted her left hand up and put it on Teddy’s right shoulder, taking a couple of steadying breaths while she waited for her ribs to decide if they were going to object, but they didn’t.

“Do you want to have a practice grip?”

“Do you want me to have a practice grip?” countered Maya, obliging Teddy and giving her shoulder a squeeze. Seeing it caused the surgeon’s face to twitch in what Maya guessed was a rather well concealed wince, she eased up her grip and shifted her hand a little bit, then had another go. “Better?”

“How…” Teddy was amazed at Maya’s grip strength, but stowed the question - it wasn’t the priority, and anyway, Maya didn’t give her a chance to finish her thought.

“Hi.”

“Ciao.” Carina matched Maya’s grin with a bright one of her own - her girlfriend’s delight at managing to stand up was infectious. “You did not wait for three?”

“Oh.” Maya looked at Teddy and Amelia, both still a little bit shocked that she’d just stood up and they’d not really been ready. “Sorry.” She took her hand away from Teddy’s shoulder. “Hope I didn’t give you a bruise Teddy.”

“It’s fine, you feeling ok? There’s no rush, remember.”

“I think so...the bear really helped…” Maya looked down at herself to try to take stock, wobbling slightly. “...thanks.” She had grabbed for Carina as soon as she felt herself moving, but Teddy and Amelia also immediately reached out and their hands on her back and left side, which had also helped. “You should have probably asked me if I could balance on one leg…” she joked, looking at Carina, thinking how if she could just take a step or two closer she’d be able to kiss her saint of a girlfriend properly…

“Bella?” Carina saw the moment the Maya became a study in fierce concentration, confused and concerned about what was prompting the shift, only to feel movement under her hand that was resting on Maya’s left hip. “What are…”

Teddy and Amelia, stood on either side of Maya, shared a look that could only be described as ‘aww’ as they watched Maya carefully, drawing on a clear understanding of how her body worked that extended beyond being able to flex her arm muscles without using her upper body to force it, not only shifted some of her body weight off her left leg and onto her right leg, but then took two small steps so she was stood right in front of Carina.

Letting go of Carina, Maya reached up and took the cap off, then, turning it around, she slightly clumsily put it on Carina’s head, grinning when Carina reached up with her left hand and helped, not prepared to let go of Maya’s left hip, just in case.

“Permission to kiss the Captain’s girlfriend?” she joked. 

It wasn’t quite in the same league as ‘that lasagne smells almost as good as you’, but it earned her the same chuckle and amused roll of the eyes, making her grin. Because stood in front of Carina,  _ stood  _ in front of her, not needing any support from any of them, smiling that impish grin that Carina knew was hers, and only hers...was her Maya, her Captain...completely present and totally focused. It was the smile that said ‘I love you’ and it was one Carina had zero resistance to.

“Si Capitano...” agreed Carina, already leaning in and threading her left hand through silky blonde hair. “...but no spinning,” she cautioned, letting Maya take the lead in how close she pulled their bodies together, though since she could feel both the hard nose of the bear press against her stomach and a finger or two of Maya’s right hand catch hold of her jeans’ waistband, they were already pretty close. 

“I love you…” sighed Maya, drawing Carina’s head down with her left hand, eyes bright with love and anticipation at being able to finally kiss Carina ‘properly’.

“Ti amo…”

As their lips brushed together once, twice, and then parted at the third brush, tongues beginning to tease and dance as Carina carefully held Maya against her, Teddy caught Amelia’s eye and nodded towards the window.

Mason was right…’baciami’ did mean look out the window.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am no doubt taking huge liberties with show canon hospital layout and Seattle geography. But the fire nerding and science ahead is real.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Not even the Needle.”

“We are getting you a bell,” declared Amelia, Maya’s surprisingly stealthy arrival startling her out of her thoughts.

“Or you hearing aids. I sneezed twice and swore three times between the bathroom door and here,” pointed out Maya, putting her left hand on the glass to steady herself. “Deep thoughts?”

“Surgery visualisation. Tricky to do when Scout’s around.”

“Ah.” It was moments like this that reminded Maya how, for all their jokes and teasing and borderline unhealthy interest in hers and Carina’s sex life, Amelia, Teddy and the others were world class surgeons who quite literally would change peoples’ lives with their skills at wielding sharp blades and were intensely dedicated to their jobs. “Thanks for contacting Dr Montgomery.” Amelia glanced over Maya’s shoulder, wondering where Carina was, then spotting the bathroom door was closed again.

“Of course. I didn’t know they knew each other.”

“I knew they did, didn’t know she had a history here with you guys.”

“You know there’s nothing to worry about right? That Teddy’s not…”

“...keeping something from me? I know. It’s…” Maya looked out across the grey city, automatically spotting places she’d had calls to, though there wasn’t very much of their district on this side, so it was mostly the bigger four and five alarm calls 19 had been added into as they developed. “...Carina not worrying is making Teddy worry, and that’s what’s making Carina worry….so if Addison stops Teddy worrying, I’m good with that.” She caught her lip. “God knows what Department’s Health Insurance is going to make of all of you guys being involved.”

“Don’t think about it,” said Amelia simply, knowing from how the City was still reacting to the long hard look it was giving itself in the mirror that Maya’s straightforward statement prompted that there wasn’t anything to worry about as far as City Hall politics.

“But…”

“Seriously, it’s not going to be a problem, and if it were...you know we’re the good guys too right?”

“Yeah.” Maya felt in the pocket of her hoodie for her phone. “Here…” She fumbled a little but managed to unlock the phone and find her photos, finding the album she had of her brother’s artwork, then passing the phone to Amelia. “...the first one…”

“It’s beautiful…” She looked at Maya. “...this is Mason’s work?”

“Yeah. Almost three years ago, spring, Andy and I were out in the Aid Car doing hepatitis vaccines, we’d stopped in the park under the freeway. By fluke, that’s where he was staying…”

“He told me about it, said you came back with soup and painting things. He did this?”

“Yeah, then packed up and moved on.”

“That’s…” Amelia looked at the photo again. “...is that a dove?”. Although she knew that 'fire dove' had become some sort of code amongst the homeless community, with it having something to do with Station 19, the doctors had never been able to work out where the reference originated from.

“Si.” Carina came up behind Maya and carefully slipped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on Maya’s good left shoulder. “He paints it in everything he has done since, it is his ‘Easter Egg’.”

“Oh, like Mickey Mouse ears in clouds, I loved finding those…” Amelia gave Maya back her phone. “How are you feeling now?”

“More comfortable.” Maya grinned - she had been absolutely fine standing up by the bed for the first couple of minutes, then her insides reasserted themselves, but not in the way she’d anticipated as it had been her bladder that started yelling first, prompting a fast snail’s pace shuffle to the bathroom. It had been a rather unromantic interruption to a rather good kiss, and she was still somewhat mortified. 

“Good. Teddy’s had to go deal with Dr Google before Maggie stabs him, but is going to meet us on our way past.”

“Dr Google?”

“A patient’s partner. Why listen to the actual surgeons when you can google everything for yourself.”

“Ah.” Maya thought about that for a moment. “Not a problem we have, not usually time for people to google as we’re rescuing them.”

“You’re lucky.” Movement behind, reflected in the glass of the window, caught Amelia’s attention. “Ready for your trip?”

“My what?” Maya turned her head towards Amelia, seeing the wheelchair reflected. “No.”

“Bu…” Amelia fell silence when she saw the headshake Carina directed at her.

“Bene.”

“Huh?” Carina’s easy acceptance of her refusal to entertain the notion of the wheelchair that had just been brought into the room by someone Maya didn’t recognise completely confused her, causing the fizzing that was trying to find some energy to convert into anger to fizzle out.

“If your pride will not permit you to sit in the wheelchair, I am not going to fight you.”

“Just like that?”

“Si.” Carina let her hands drop from Maya’s hips and stepped back so she had the space to turn around. “Your little adventure will just be along Teddy’s ward and back again.”

“Ok then…” Maya took two small steps then stopped, wobbling a little and needing Amelia’s reassuring hand at her back to help her steady herself. “But I thought you said I could go see Mason’s wall?”

“Si. That is an option.” 

Carina stood patiently, waiting for Maya to sort through her situation, giving her girlfriend the opportunity to work out for herself which was the idiotic option and which was not. She waited as Maya turned back towards the window, this time looking out to orientate herself. Carina completely understood - treat Maya like an idiot the moment she did something that could be considered a bit idiotic, and they’d end up in an angry cycle. Treat Maya like the extremely intelligent, highly capable adult she was the moment she reacted based on the instincts she’d needed to hone to survive a horrifically toxic childhood and, not being an idiot, Maya may well diffuse her own temper. And if she didn’t? Well, Carina had gained another few seconds to prepare for the anger that she logically and rationally knew wasn’t actually directed at her, but took quite a lot of self-belief and love to remember.

“This isn’t the side of the hospital your office is on.”

“No. Here you are above the ER and have the very boring view.” Carina caught her lip, willing herself to keep her distance for just another minute, knowing that just because Maya had turned the corner away from her temper didn’t mean it wasn’t entirely neutralised.

“So Mason’s wall is…” Maya turned herself around carefully until she was resting her head and shoulders against the cool window. “...about as far away from here as it’s possible to be?”

“Si. There are three more rooms that way which are further than you, and the space the journalists were in for you, Teddy and Chief Sato to talk to them.”

“Oh.” Maya looked down at herself, giving her right ankle a cautious push through, a movement that prompted a supportive pushing of the bear against her lower abdomen. “Umm…” Lip caught between her teeth she looked anxiously at Carina. “But I thought I could stand up and walk a bit by Mason’s wall with him, while he tells me about it.”

“And you can…” Carina came forwards again, relieved when Maya instinctively reached for her, having to work hard at not letting her girlfriend see her anger at the childhood hurts that still lay just below the surface as open, raw wounds, hating that her first thought was that she’d been taunted or teased with the promise of something she was never going to have. “...that is what the wheelchair is for. To move you to the correct side of the hospital so that then you may have a walk along Mason’s wall with him.” She wrapped Maya in a gentle hug, relishing being able to hold her again, even if it was extremely gently with barely any contact between them apart from her arms resting lightly against the small portion of Maya’s right waist not injured and her left shoulder. But it was enough for Maya’s left arm to wrap around Carina’s ribs and her face to hide itself against Carina’s neck. “Sssh….tranquilla bella…” soothed Carina automatically, feeling the tears wetting her skin as Maya processed everything she’d just put herself through, finding that insidious ‘eyes forward’ whisper and silencing it again. “It is just you and me…” 

“I’m sorry…” sniffed Maya, finally lifting her head up and looking at Carina. “...I just…”

“Got excited that you were going for a walk and forgot that the hospital is very big and busy?” Carina kissed Maya’s nose. “And your excitement ran ahead of your common sense? It happens.”

“But…” Maya saw Carina frown, making her pause, remembering some of their conversations. “...is this where you are angry that I get angry and have to use energy to sort myself out, but we’re ok because I wasn’t angry with you?”

“Si.” Carina kissed Maya’s cheek, having to angle her head to fit under the peak of the cap that was doing an excellent job at keeping Maya’s hair anchored out of her face. “I must also apologise, I could have been clearer.” She saw Maya about to protest, but kept on talking. “Si, I forgot that you did not know where in the hospital you were, because you did not get to look out of the window before now and were not to know that ‘Teddy’s ward’ is a very long way from my office.”

“Still not a tie...” Maya looked at Carina sheepishly. “I was almost an idiot, wasn’t I?”

“Almost,” agreed Carina lightly, kissing the tip of Maya’s nose now she’d got the hang of not bumping into the cap. “Va bene bella, you had warned me.”

“And yet you still put up with me.”

"Si. Because I am me and you are tall again..." teased Carina, angling her head so she could enjoy a proper kiss, humming in pleasure when she felt Maya’s hand run down her back and finding the waistband of her jeans, only to have to literally dig her heels in when she felt Maya try and pull her closer. “...tranquilla…” she warned gently, easing back. “...we will be in trouble with Teddy…”

“Oops.” Maya saw Carina’s point - if they came too close together then something would get squashed, be it a rib or an incision, and then she’d definitely be in ‘trouble’ with Teddy and back in bed for another review, rather than going on her little adventure to visit Mason’s wall.

Carina gave Maya a little space, expecting her girlfriend's independent streak to exert itself again and not want help sitting down in the chair. Which Carina was fine with since Amelia was holding it steady, knowing Maya was neither stupid nor deliberately idiotic, and had already demonstrated that she was a quick learner at how to help support herself through certain movements.

“Bene.” Seeing Maya was settled in the wheelchair, Carina went to the door and stuck her head out. “We are ready.”

“Who…” Maya frowned at Carina’s movements, especially when she came back in followed by someone in a porter’s uniform.

“...is this? Your expert driver. Doctors are not to be trusted with wheelchairs, we hit all the bumps.”

“Oh.” Her frown eased a bit, then intensified again when the person crouched in front of her, although at least she could see his name badge said ‘Ricky’. “Yes?”

“Hi Captain Bishop, umm, Dr DeLuca?” To say he was extremely nervous was something of an understatement, but he was going to be extra careful.

“Si?”

“We can’t set off yet.”

“Why not?”

“Ma-ya…” warned Carina quietly, coming around to see what the problem was, as Amelia went to the cupboard, also seeing what another part of the problem was. “...ah ha!” She crouched down by Maya’s feet and grinned at her girlfriend. “This is exactly why doctors are not to be trusted. Your feet are wrong.”

“My feet are what?”

“Wrong.” Carina tapped Maya’s left knee in warning, then held her ankle gently. “They are still on the floor and need to be on the foot rests.”

“Oh.” With Carina’s help, and the gentle warning to push the teddy bear against her stomach to help support the muscles, Maya lifted both feet in turn up off the ground and Carina guided them onto the foot rests that Ricky pulled into position. “Thank you Ricky.”

“No problem, ah, thank you Dr Shepherd.” He stood up from his crouched position at the side of the chair and took the blanket from her, passing it to Carina. “You will be more comfortable with this covering your legs until you want to walk.”

“Oh, ok.” Maya wasn’t normally that bothered by temperature, but was trying to ‘go with the flow’ a little bit as that felt like it would conserve her energy. And since he seemed to be quite comfortable pointing things out but getting Carina to do the touching, she was finding it easier to relax and go with it, knowing Carina wouldn’t do anything that made her injuries or pain worse. “Is it still snowing?”

“Yeah, not really stopped since Tuesday night but it keeps melting and freezing. Lots of ice but not much snow.” He didn’t need to know whether she’d been in the hospital long, like they usually did for small talk - the whole State probably knew Captain Bishop had been in Grey-Sloan since Tuesday. “Good job you’re in sneakers, the floors were getting a bit slippy down in the lobbies.”

“Si?” Carina didn’t like the sound of that as she tucked the blanket carefully around Maya’s shins and thighs.

“Dr Bailey almost skidded this morning, made us put down mats, so you’ll be fine now. Ready Captain?”

“I think so…” said Maya. “...oh, umm, can we take Mason his sketchbook and pens?” She had caught sight of them on the camp bed where he’d left them in his haste to leave, “In case he wants them?”

“Sure…” Amelia picked up the sketch book and a couple of the pens she’d seen him using the most, plus two of the pencils. “...anything else?”

“Did he take his phone?”

“I can’t see it.” Him having a phone was a new step forwards, and one she’d have to compliment him on taking when she next had the opportunity.

“Ok…” Maya chewed her lip, looking nervously around the room that she’d only left a couple of times in the last few days. “...you’re coming with me?”

“Si!” Carina took hold of her girlfriend’s left hand and gave it a squeeze then let go so it was easier for Ricky to manoeuvre the chair so it was pointing in the right direction for the door. “Teddy and Amelia too if that is ok with you?”

“Sure…” Maya wasn’t sure what was so interesting for them to come see, but wasn’t going to complain about having a bit of extra moral support. “...where’s the lights and sirens?” she joked as they crossed the room threshold into the corridor which, as Carina had observed, was rather long and a bit busy, as they had to immediately pause for a patient on a bed to be wheeled past, making Maya decide that actually, going places in the wheelchair while practicing her walking in the relative calm of her room was probably the way forward.

“I thought that was why we were bringing Teddy and Amelia,” teased Carina, nimbly sidestepping Amelia’s playful elbow, causing Amelia to lung for another attempt and Carina to sidestep again, laughing.

“Hard to believe they’re two of the best surgeons in the world at what they do when they behave like that…” mused Maya, pleased to see Carina allowing herself to ‘be silly’ for a moment after what can’t have been a remotely easy few days.

“Who’s winning?” asked Teddy, coming up on her two friends who were apparently just enjoying shoving each other gently in the ribs and laughing.

“Because I’m a good girlfriend I’m going to say Carina.”

“Wise woman,” said Teddy, crouching down by Maya. “Sorry I had to leave before, how are you feeling?”

“Ok, Carina can tell you properly, but, umm, everything seems to be working like Carina thought you’d want it to be.”

“Excellent.” Teddy stood up again, pleased that Maya seemed fairly unfazed so far by her limited adventure but experienced enough to know it could all change in a split second. “Shall we? They should get the message and catch us up…” Like Maya, Teddy knew, perhaps even more so, that Carina had been under immense stress these last few days, and being completely silly and atypically juvenile with Amelia for a couple of minutes was the perfect tonic, with Maya being able to get out of bed without too much extra pain a massive milestone and huge source of relief for them all, but especially Carina. “What started it?”

“Amelia didn’t like Carina relegating you and her to lights and sirens since Ricky here is driving.”

“Really?” Teddy shoved her hands in her pockets and shook her head. “Strange people, these neurosurgeons.”

“It’s taken this for you to notice?” asked Maya, unfortunately it was just as Amelia had abandoned trying to beat Carina and had come back into earshot.

“Hey!” Amelia stuck her tongue out at Maya.

“The lights on her engine are pretty awesome.”

“Truck,” corrected Maya automatically, waving to Maggie Pierce as they passed her, taking in her surroundings as Ricky steadily led the little procession of doctors to the elevators.

“Hmm?” Teddy dodged ahead of Amelia so she could hear Maya more easily. “Truck?”

“The one you climbed on, is technically a Ladder Truck, but it’s definitely not an engine.” Maya turned her head so she could look at Teddy as Ricky slowed to a stop, needing to give way to another patient in a bed being moved.

“Si, the ladder truck is not an engine because it does not have a water tank.”

“That’s a thing?”

Maya sighed, not understanding why this was such a surprise to everyone.

“Si. The little square one without the big ladder has a water tank inside it.”

“My engine isn’t  _ little _ !” protested Maya, nevertheless proud that Carina, her super-amazing-Head-of-Department-surgeon-girlfriend knew the difference between a fire truck and a fire engine. And she so needed to work out how to do something to celebrate her awesomeness finally being recognised and the end of Lachman.

“It is smaller than the one with the ladder on it,” pointed out Teddy carefully, feeling that Carina needed a bit of support.

“And squarer,” added Amelia, pressing the down button for the elevators. “But how do you know about the lights on her fire truck?”

“She let me turn them on,” said Teddy proudly, fishing out her phone and finding the photos Maya took of her wearing her helmet and turnout coat, leaning out of the window of the ladder truck with the lights going.

“Huh.” Amelia zoomed in, seeing that the helmet Teddy was wearing said ‘Captain’. “When was this?”

“Christmas Day.” Teddy watched as Amelia passed her phone to Carina. “You were playing with puppies.”

“Feeding. Not playing.”

“Si, I have seen them on Maya’s phone.” She looked at Teddy. “I have not done that yet, though I have worn the mask.” She looked at Maya, realising she’d never mentioned anything to her about that experience, going straight into doing the C-section. “It is heavy, but not as claustrofobico as I expected.”

“I guess…” Maya hadn’t really thought about the weight of the mask in and of itself for years, always thinking about it in conjunction with the air tank. “...and yeah, because it covers our whole face it’s nothing like as bad as the first time you try a scuba diving set.” She’d also known Carina hadn’t enjoyed the various sorts of full head mask and visor combos that they’d had available to them at the peak of the pandemic, finding them making her feel claustrophobic but enduring them when she was working trauma cases, so for her to find Maya’s mask bearable was huge, and probably had something to do with being in the brightly lit barn with Maya alongside her and Naomi to concentrate on.

“Can I ask a question?” asked Teddy suddenly, taking her phone back from Amelia and putting it away. “About firefighting?”

“Sure…” Maya watched with interest as someone in a wheelchair was guided out of the elevator, not sure she was going to enjoy the jostling as the elevator car hadn’t stopped all that level with the floor. “...your elevators need rebalancing...” she said automatically, looking at the difference in the levels as she was wheeled over them, though Ricky was much more skilful than the other person had been and she wasn’t shaken about.

“Huh?”

“See the gap?” Maya pointed to the bottom of the elevator door as Ricky automatically held the open door button so these surgeons could see something all the porters knew was an issue but no one seemed to take seriously when they reported it. “That’s stayed constant since the car stopped, which I think means…” She looked around, seeing the certificate in the corner. “...that inspection certificate should tell you when the elevator was installed but I’m guessing it’s been quite a few years.”

“Because of the gap?”

“No, the gap tells me that maintenance is a bit behind. The gap being there from the moment the doors opened without changing size tells me it’s an older elevator.”

“How do you know this stuff?” asked Amelia, seeing that everything Maya said was spot on as it was confirmed by the inspection certificate. “And yeah, you’re right about it being older - this is one of the ones that wasn’t replaced.”

“I’m a Fire Captain, but you had a question Teddy.”

“Oh, yeah…” The elevator doors closed and they headed for the second floor. “...second?”

“Easier to cross to the other lobby at this level than the lobby floor Dr Altman,” said Ricky, nodding in thanks as the surgeons let him carefully ease Maya out first. “Warmer for the Captain too.”

The doors opened and before Ricky and Maya could get out, all three surgeons stopped and inspected the alignment of the elevator to the floor.

“Ah, oh, there’s a gap here too…”

“Looks the same size as before…”

“What does it mean?” asked Carina, tugging on Amelia and Teddy’s sleeves so they got out of the way so Maya could be wheeled out of the elevator. Fortunately this floor was very much quieter than the lobby floor, so there was no one waiting to get into the elevator.

“Either the cable is slipping on the drum, the brake shoes are slipping or a bit of both. Not surprising if it’s been cold enough to have been snowing for almost a week.”

“The gap has been especially bad this week,” said Ricky quietly, sensing that now might be the moment that something happened to fix the elevator issues. “This one is not the worst, that is elevator four.” He looked at the surgeons. “That is why some of your patients are taking longer to get to the ORs and back to the wards, we’re not taking them in elevator four because it’s too bumpy.” In this block, they only had two elevators that went to all the floors with the ORs on, and elevator 4 was one of them, which meant they were very slow moving patients, with some surgeons getting cross. But the way the porters saw it, there wasn’t much point to the surgery if the patient was so shaken about on the journey back to their room.

“How does that work?” Amelia saw his expression change and realised she’d expressed herself poorly. “I mean, thank you for thinking about our patients, all my patients are always telling me how much they love you guys. What I meant to say was how does cold weather affect the gap?”

“I’d need to see the building plans to be certain…” Maya smiled at Amelia’s glare. “...fine, at a guess, you’ve got the cable drums at the top of the elevator shafts and the motors generate heat. If there’s any way the snow can get in up there, snow plus heat gives humidity and everything goes out of line. Is it like this in the summer too Ricky?”

“Yes Captain, but Elevator 4 has never been this bad.”

“That’s probably got worn brakes too then.”

“Huh.” Amelia was torn between finding this fascinating and alarming and so decided to walk on ahead and open the next set of doors for their little procession.

“What was your question Teddy?” Maya didn’t particularly like elevators at the best of times, preferring to take the stairs, and she knew Carina wasn’t their biggest fan either, so hoped Teddy’s question was about something different, especially since she knew it was going to be a while before stairs were back on her ‘to do’ list.

“Oh, why don’t your oxygen tanks explode?”

“Oh! I know this one!” Carina looked at Maya to double check her enthusiasm wasn’t misplaced. “I do si?”

“Yes, you do,” agreed Maya, grinning at the delight on her girlfriend’s face. “Go ahead.”

“It is not oxygen, it is compressed air, so it is safer than pure oxygen as oxygen meeting a fire will increase its intensity. Also, the tank has a disc…” Carina thought for a moment. “...it has a special name that I cannot remember which means it goes pop if the pressure inside the tank gets too much to make sure the bottle does not rupture.”

“Burst disc, not that special.”

“Grazie, the burst disc would go pop to let the air escape, but the bottle is so strong that if the disc needs to go pop the fire is too hot for the rest of the safety equipment and the firefighter should not be inside the fire anymore.” She turned and looked at Maya. “Si?”

“Aside from telling you we have the compressed air in the tanks at 4500 psi and the tanks are tested to withstand 6000 psi which is why they should be the last item of firefighter equipment to fail, including the the firefighter, there’s not a lot else to add,” confirmed Maya, smiling proudly at her girlfriend.

“When did you become a fire nerd?” asked Amelia, impressed. “That’s two bits of fire geekery you’ve surprised us with.”

“It’s like she’s taking an interest in her girlfriend’s job or something,” teased Teddy, having a pretty good idea what was prompting this sudden interest in the technical aspects of Maya’s work having heard Carina muttering to herself in the corridor and, concerned, had pushed enough to find out how much of a test of willpower Carina was finding helping Maya keep clean and wear her her shirt. “Doesn’t Link ask you to explain all the weird brain cutting techniques you do?”

“Not since Carina said we could have sex again after Scout was born.”

The three surgeons kept walking for a couple more paces before realising that Maya and Ricky had stopped.

“Everything ok?” asked Amelia, noticing them first.

“I don’t think anyone warned Ricky that being my driver meant learning about your sex life.”


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments as always, and the kudos - I'm a bit behind again with replying to the comments but promise to catch up soon....now, shall we stretch our legs a little?

“Can we stop here please?”

“Sure thing Captain.” Ricky turned the wheelchair in towards the bench seating they were by so she had a bit of protection from the flow of people moving around the lobby and set the brakes as Carina came around and sat down on the bench in front of her. Amelia and Teddy hung back to give them some space, but were also trying to see if they could spot Mason, with Amelia realising that they’d all just assumed he was spending time with ‘his wall’.

“Bella?”

“That’s his wall?” 

“Si.” Carina turned and looked over her shoulder at the wall Maya was facing, taking it in from her perspective. “The corridor part is that way…” Carina gestured in the direction they hadn’t come from, which was the route into this lobby from the other part of the hospital, which was the part where the main entrance was, as well as the ER and the ward Maya was currently on. “...and this is the tall part.” 

Technically, Mason’s ‘tall part’ was effectively the end of one hospital building, with the second building built after a short gap that had been enclosed to make the lobby, explaining the rather strange dimensions, curved surface and glass surroundings. Somehow though it all worked, and meant from both this lobby and the hospital’s main entrance lobby, both buildings could be accessed and felt like a single whole hospital, even if this one did end up being thought of as the ‘childrens’ entrance’.

“I think that is the door he was telling you Bailey left open,” added Carina, pointing in the direction of the hospital’s second entrance, which gave visitors and patients more direct access to the children’s wards and the couple of departments that were in this part of the hospital, which included OBGYN, though Carina always used the other one as it was on the right side for the shorter walk to either her car, the Station or their apartment.

“It’s…” Maya looked around, glad that she’d managed to avoid being an idiot and have the help of the wheelchair to get her to this point as based on how her little adventure around her hospital room had been, the distances they’d covered to get to this point were significantly greater. “...busier than I was expecting.”

“Hmm.” Carina looked around again, trying to see the volume of people through her girlfriend’s eyes, not often in this lobby herself as, while it was nearer her wards and office, she was generally crossing through the corridors and wards on the higher floors to get to the other lobby for either drinkable coffee or because she’d been paged to the Pit. “It is perhaps the admission time for the children,” she agreed, thinking that Maya was probably reacting more to the general presence of people after her fairly quiet experience of the hospital up on Teddy’s ward. “They are certainly noisier than the adult patients.” She winced as a passing stroller occupant gave their opinion on whatever treatment they’d just finished having very loudly, seeing her reaction was somehow amusing Maya. “What?”

“I’m just trying to picture you being the boss of a Paediatric Department…” teased Maya, deciding that spending too long thinking about standing up and walking in this busy, noisy space wasn’t going to make it any less crowded or quieter.

“It was…” Carina felt enough time had passed since that part of her career for her to be able to withstand the teasing and see the funny side. “...a good reminder that despite what lots of people think, I do not have the noisiest patients.” She took the hint when Maya folded the edge of the blanket back from her waist and leaned forwards, lifting the blanket away from Maya’s lap completely. “Do you want to walk from here?”

“Can I?”

“Si, now you are here you can walk anywhere you want, and when you start to feel you have had enough, Ricky will be there with the wheels.” Carina put the blanket, which she’d automatically folded up again, onto the bench next to her. “But I think…” Carina looked at the angle of the wheelchair and looked past Maya to Ricky, attracting his attention and asking him to move the chair slightly so there was more space for Maya to turn in once she was stood up. “...there. Ready for your feet to go onto the floor?”

“Will you help please?” Maya chewed her lip, looking nervously at Carina, the fingers of her right hand repeatedly squeezing and releasing the bear’s nose, like she was almost clenching and unclenching her fist. She’d been thinking about this moment since they got in the second set of elevators, worried about how it would go, and now it was here....

“Si! Ovviamente.” Carina reached over and caught hold of Maya’s left hand, waiting for the tightly closed fingers to relax enough for her to thread her fingers through, belatedly realising she’d missed a sign of Maya’s growing anxiety. “Of course I will help you bella.” She felt Maya squeeze her hand, and returned the squeeze, lifting their joined hands just enough so that she could lean forwards and kiss her girlfriend’s knuckles. “What is worrying you?”

“Umm…” Maya’s eyes darted around the lobby, which by hospital standards really was rather quiet, but busy enough to remind Maya that there were other people around who could be a bit unpredictable. “...I sort of forgot there would be other people, and I had this silly idea that I could walk up to him and he would be happy to see me and…” It was ridiculous, she could run an Olympic Final without nerves, hell, she was a firefighter who went into burning buildings and abseiled down cliffs without nerves, what was the problem with standing up indoors and going to say hi to her brother who probably hated her and...

“Ssshhh….” Carina had wondered if Mason’s sudden departure from his sister’s hospital room was going to be a bit of an issue for Maya’s general lack of confidence when it came to believing that he wasn’t going to take flight from her life at the slightest provocation, but also knew that suggesting the ‘little adventure’ waited until he was back from wherever he’d gone brought its own problems.

“...hey…” Carina wanted to lean in and hold Maya, but the wheelchair was making it a bit tricky and now…. “...no…” Carina took a deep breath and stood up. “...No Eyes Forward…” Taking the cap off Maya’s head with her right hand, Maya’s firm hold of her left hand unlikely to be relinquished any time soon, Carina put the cap in Maya’s lap, taking care to aim for her left thigh rather than her incision. “Eyes on me…” she coached, leaning forwards, trusting Ricky would just stand still and act as a physical barrier between them and anyone else who might suddenly be interested in this corner of the lobby, hoping he’d put the brakes on the chair. 

“Si bella, eyes on me…” she coached, cupping Maya’s head with her right hand, relieved when Maya instinctively turned into her touch, enabling Carina to steer her face back towards her, silently praying that this wouldn’t take too long to break out of because she was not remotely stable in this position and very worried she might fall on her girlfriend. “Breathe bella…” she encouraged, smiling when she saw Maya’s eyes settle on hers, starting to stroke along her cheekbone with her thumb. 

“Bene…” Carina was vaguely aware of Teddy coming up alongside them, but she remained focused on Maya. “...I want you to stand up for me...ah...sshhh…” Carina realised she’d skipped a step or two for Maya when she felt the firm grip Maya had on her left hand tighten even further. Logically, Carina knew that for all Maya’s grip strength, she wasn’t going to be able to break the bones in Carina’s hand, but the force was impressive, and added as a further incentive beyond her immediate need to see her girlfriend break out of this anxiety cycle as soon as possible. 

“...Maya, look at me...I am here, I am not going anywhere…” She felt the pressure on her hand ease a little, as Maya’s breathing evened out a little, but her eyes kept unfocusing and darting about, though they did immediately return to Carina when she spoke. “...bene...eyes on me while you listen si?” Maya nodded, turning her head into Carina’s palm a little as she did, but her eyes never left Carina’s. “We are going to work together with Teddy’s help so you can stand up ah…” Carina moved her head as Maya’s eyes started to move again, smiling as she felt Maya’s little grin and nod as she realised from how Carina’s head was moving her eyes were starting to roam, clearly not able to stop herself from staring a cycle of fresh panic, but able to pull herself out of it when given a prompt or nudge from Carina. Closing her eyes for a couple of breaths, Maya turned her face completely into Carina’s palm, brushing her lips against it in a wordless acknowledgment of her support and patient care, then opened her eyes, which were now a little clearer and a lot steadier. 

“Ciao bella…” greeted Carina, smiling at her, sensing they were probably through the worst now, with Maya starting to be fully ‘present’ with her again. “...the first part of standing up is getting your left foot on the floor. Can you squeeze my hand if you are ok with Teddy helping you with that?”

“That’s just showing off…” said Teddy, correctly guessing from Carina’s slight nod that was confirmed by the flexing and relaxing of the muscles in Maya’s forearm that she’d been accepted as foot mover, when she saw Maya had managed to lift her left leg up high enough for Teddy to reach down and move the foot rest out of the way. “...and down on the floor,” she encouraged, lightly touching Maya’s left knee to let her know it was alright to lower her foot again.

“Bene…” Carina could feel her back muscles starting to protest rather too loudly for her liking, knowing she needed to either sit back down or stand up fully in the next few seconds, but trying to ignore it. “...right foot...” This, Carina knew from when they’d got Maya’s right foot on the foot rest up in her room, was the less straightforward one. “...squeeze my hand if you want Teddy to help support your calf?” A firm, sustained squeeze made Carina smile through slightly clenched teeth as she mentally made a note to come up with a different strategy in future, though hopefully they could avoid having too many more panic attacks. “Bene, Teddy? Could you help Maya lift her foot from the knee?” Carina didn’t dare look away from her girlfriend, not wanting to risk losing her focus when they were this close.

“There you go Maya,” said Teddy a moment later, sensibly then moving out of the way, knowing now was not the moment to comment on how impressed she was with Maya’s ability to control her leg movements without irritating her abdominal muscles already after such a small amount of practice. She was also rather envious of Carina’s abdominal and back muscle strength, as Teddy was certain she couldn’t stand in that half-crouching position for as long as Carina had, never mind stand and be supportive to her partner.

“Thanks...Teddy…”

“Anytime.” Teddy hadn’t expected Maya to thank her, or even really notice she was there, but it was another sign as to quite how strong and skilled the firefighter was at isolating muscles and being aware of her body as she was using them.

“Ready to stand?” asked Carina, noticing in the corner of her eye that Teddy had picked up the discarded cap as she was helping Maya with her feet, meaning Maya’s lap was clear of anything that could fall off.

“Three…” said Maya quietly, grinning back at Carina as she caught her lip between her teeth and, with the same careful determination as when she’d stood up the couple of times upstairs, first from sitting on the side of her bed, then in the bathroom, and with minimal downward pressure on Carina’s hand, carefully stood, applying gentle pressure through the bear with her right hand, Carina rising with her despite her back’s protest.

“Magnifica bellissima,” murmured Carina quietly as they arrived at fully stood up, Carina grateful when Teddy gripped the back of her shirt and steadied her, the sudden move out of the crouching stance causing her to wobble a bit. “That was my wobble, not yours.”

“Oh.” Maya angled her head, leaning into Carina’s hand again, easing up slightly on the tightness of her hold on her left hand, but not feeling confident enough to fully let go of her girlfriend. “I’m…” Maya concentrated on breathing a few more steady breaths, supporting her abdomen with her hold on the bear, glad it was anchored in the right place by being tucked inside the bottom of her zipped up hoodie. “...sorry I was angry about the wheelchair.”

“Will you use it to go back to your room later without the argument?” asked Carina as she moved her hand from her girlfriend’s cheek to her left shoulder, moving forwards a step too, grateful when, at Teddy’s gentle encouragement, she saw Ricky pull the wheelchair back so it wasn’t crowding around their legs.

“Yeah.” Maya let her head drift forwards, sighing lightly in contentment rather than anxiety when she felt Carina’s forehead touch hers. “Thank you…” She was focussed on their tangled fingers, only now appreciating how tight her grip had been on her girlfriend’s hand, as she eased up until she was just lightly stroking her fingertips over the back of Carina’s hand. “...for being patient with me.”

“Va bene…” Carina slid her hand from Maya’s shoulder across her back and up her neck, her fingers finding the soft, short strands of silky hair that she could tease between her fingertips and thumb for hours as she snuggled into Maya’s body on their couch, or held Maya in her arms after they’d made love. “...it will be your turn again soon to be patient with me,” she said simply, under no illusion that her moments to struggle were not too far away, with life full of surprises and becoming Head of Department was sure to bring something unexpected in addition to everything life ordinarily threw at her. “This week it is just my turn to support you.”

“This week?” Maya tilted her head back, looking at Carina in confusion. “What was last week?”

“Christmas Day?”

“That was only a week ago?” Maya frowned at this as she watched Carina move a little bit, puzzled, until she solved two mysteries at once. “That was a week ago…” she sighed carefully, connecting their earlier discussion about the current age of the puppies with the events of Christmas Day when, as Carina said so straightforwardly, it had been Maya’s turn to be the patient one. “...we need to watch the other video of the puppies…the one with their faces so we can see them open their eyes.”

“Si, when we get back upstairs?” suggested Carina, knowing their puppy video watching session had been interrupted by her rather unexpected job offer. “Ah, you are comfortable now?” she teased, Maya having also worked out that Carina had been trying to turn them around just enough so that Maya had the option to tuck herself against her girlfriend’s side and hold onto her with her left arm around Carina’s waist rather than hold onto her hand. Although it would make her right side a little exposed and unprotected by Carina, that was something that could be easily solved by Amelia or Teddy walking on that side of Maya, and from a selfish perspective, Carina wanted to be the one Maya was holding onto rather than the one hovering.

“Mmm, I was a bit slow to work that out,” admitted Maya, finally letting go of Carina’s left hand and slipping her hand around her girlfriend’s waist, though she showed her slowness to react was only temporary, as she had quickly worked out that with Carina wearing her borrowed shirt untucked, Maya had no issue in finding a gap she could slip her hand through and as such tuck her fingers just inside the waistband of her girlfriend’s jeans.

“Do not tickle…” cautioned Carina, leaning in and kissing Maya’s lips, feeling the impish grin forming, making her grin in spite of knowing that meant she was probably in trouble but hoping it wouldn’t be until after they were once more in the relative privacy and greater safety of Maya’s room, preferably when Carina wasn’t feeling the weight of responsibility for keeping them both upright. 

“No tickling,” agreed Maya when their lips parted, her grin faltering as she saw the wheelchair and remembered her anxiety attack that almost caught her out. “I didn’t mean to panic like that.”

“It is a lot,” said Carina simply, feeling guilty herself for underestimating the scale of the challenge this was for Maya, especially compared to what she usually allowed her patients to undertake for their first adventure. “And I had forgotten the speed Mason left at…” She rubbed Maya’s back with her hand, “...but he is sitting on the bench over there, talking to Amelia about something, so he did not go far.”

“He is?” Maya turned her head in the direction Carina gestured, dislodging her hair from where it was tucked behind her ear. Unfortunately her ability to blow it off her face, which in all honesty probably never worked under normal circumstances, definitely wasn’t working when she was trying to protect two broken ribs and a load more bruised ones. “Huh.” She glared, cross-eyed at the strand of hair that was stubbornly resting against her nose. “Can I borrow your cap again please?”

“Hmm?” Carina had been looking around the lobby, working out the best way to walk towards Mason, assuming her hunch that Amelia was keeping him preoccupied with a conversation so Maya could walk over and surprise him was correct. “Oh, si.” Carina saw her girlfriend’s problem and looked around for where the cap had ended up, seeing Teddy holding it up. “Teddy has it.”

“Teddy?” Maya looked around and saw their friend, holding up the cap which she’d rescued from Maya’s lap before she’d stood up. “Thank you for helping me with my feet.”

“Of course.” Teddy held out the cap, thinking Maya would want to put it on, then seeing that was not going to happen since Maya seemed far too comfortably settled tucked into Carina’s side. “Umm, I might not be up to Carina’s standards but would you like a hand?”

“Please.” Maya waited with a degree of patience that surprised Teddy while Carina tucked the errant strands of hair behind her ear, then turned her head towards Teddy, holding her head still while the surgeon put the cap onto her head. “Thanks. And sorry, for…”

“Being human?” suggested Teddy, managing to lean in and give Maya a very careful hug by slipping her hand down from the back of Maya’s head to the top of her back, staying on the left side of Maya’s head with her arm as she leaned in with her head and whispered in her right ear. “Happens to the best of us apparently,” before carefully untangling herself from them again with the help of Carina leaning back to create a bit of room. “You’re doing very well at the whole standing up thing,” she complimented, studying her patient with both a clinician’s and friend’s eye.

“I’ve got an amazing teacher.”

“Teddy is right…” Carina had expected that Maya would do quite well once she’d got her head in the right place to listen to the advice Carina could give her, knowing also that for all her overdoing it moments, her girlfriend was extremely in tune with her body and had not only incredible strength in her still functioning muscles, but immense control of them too, all of which worked in her favour. “...you are doing very well at standing up. How is your ankle feeling?”

“The bear is helping lots...and my ankle is…” Maya took a cautious small step onto her right leg. “...achy but the strapping is helping me not worry about it.”

“You are more nervous about your thigh?” guessed Carina, having a feeling Maya’s previous ankle problems and apparent familiarity with this type of strapping helped her have a bit more confidence about it, despite it potentially being the more serious injury.

“A bit, yeah.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about there Maya,” said Teddy quickly, not surprised that was something Maya was concerned about. “I know Carina’s taken you on a tour of your thigh muscles, so you know it’s the sartorius that is the one that’s damaged…”

“I still don’t understand how that happened…” said Maya, looking down at her thigh like it had somehow betrayed her.

“One of life’s mysteries…” said Teddy, long ago giving up trying to understand how bullet trajectories ended up taking the routes they did. “...but what I can absolutely promise you is there is no trauma or surgical incisions anywhere near the femur or any of the quads or your hamstring so unless you have a sudden urge to inspect the bottom of your foot or find inner peace through yoga…” Teddy’s years of practice at not laughing at her patients was the only thing that saved her from reacting with more than a smile to Maya’s rather expressive facial expression at that suggestion. “...your thigh isn’t going to have a problem with anything your ankle can cope with.”

“Do you want to go and surprise your brother?”

“That would be nice…” Maya saw now where Amelia was sitting on a bench, the angle of which meant Mason had his back to them. “...umm, Teddy?”

“Yes?”

“Could you stick close to me on my right please? I…”

“...would be delighted to defend you from any strays,” agreed Teddy, having already intercepted a rather energetic toddler who had clearly recently perfected running at speed with no awareness for their surroundings and would have otherwise headbutted Carina’s shins while she’d been concentrating on helping Maya to stand. “And did I hear you say the puppies eyes are open?”

“Apparently, we got a video to watch yesterday from Vic…”

“And you’ve not watched it yet? How can you resist puppy videos?”

“Because we were sent two, and  _ someone _ interrupted us to offer my girlfriend a job when we had only just finished watching the first one…” grumbled Maya with amused good humour. 

“Si, and remember she is your patient before you start with the gomito per favore!”


	38. Chapter 38

“Here…” Amelia held out a small card under Mason’s nose, disturbing his concentration.

“Huh?” He looked up, bemused at the interruption. “Oh, hi.”

“Take it.” She moved the card under his chin until he reached out and took it. “And shove up.”

“What is it?” he asked, moving along the bench so there was room next to him for her to sit down.

“Believe it or not, patients still associate professional competency with our ability to have a nice business card.” She put his sketchbook down on her lap and stretched her legs out, watching the trickle of people coming in and going out of the entrance. “I can’t believe I’m the first girl to give you her number…” she teased, turning her head just enough to see his reaction in her peripheral vision.

“Umm, that was probably Andy. And there are three numbers…” He turned his head to look at her properly. “MB and TA?”

“Bailey and Teddy. I’m assuming you’re already sorted with Maya and Carina.”

“Oh, thank you.” He put the card in his pocket with his phone. “Ow…” He rubbed his side closest to her with his opposite hand, realising he’d just been elbowed, but unlike the elbows ‘thrown’ amongst the surgeons, this one had made sharp, firm contact. “...thought you guys were do no harm?”

“How on earth is a surgeon supposed to not do harm? We take sharp blades to people who are obligingly rendered unconscious so they don’t make a noise when we cut them.” Amelia leaned back against the bench and resumed her people watching. “We don’t do harm for harm’s sake. And that?” Amelia looked at him. “I’d argue it wasn’t harm, but it had a purpose. What did I tell you I wouldn’t do?”

“Umm, not judge me for being an addict?”

“Right. And I meant it. But that?” She elbowed him again in case he’d forgotten what ‘that’ was. “That’s me judging you.”

“But…” He, for a moment, looked at her with the first flare of anger coursing through him, but it had no effect on her, provoked no reaction and found nothing to feed on. “...you said you wouldn’t judge…”

“...about you being an addict, correct. But I said nothing about giving you a free pass if you were a crappy little brother to your sister and my friend. So I’m judging you.”

“Oh.” He lapsed into silence, leaning forwards and resting his elbows on his knees.

“Want to talk about it?” she asked after a couple of minutes, nudging his shoulder with hers. “I’ve done judging you by the way.”

“You have?” He turned and looked at her over his shoulder, having spent the last couple of minutes contemplating the floor.

“Sure, I don’t bear a grudge for long, unless I do...but usually that’s because we’re related or had sex and…” She smirked. “...definitely not related and I’m scared of your sister.”

Her answer caught him so by surprise he laughed, a proper deep laugh that echoed around the lobby and made him sit back up, realising she really was no longer judging him, having made her point.

“You are…” He shook his head, smiling. “...very hard to picture cutting into someone’s brain.” He was also fairly certain she wasn’t being entirely truthful about being scared by his sister and found it a curious statement to make at that point in their conversation.

“You can watch sometime if you want, assuming you’re sticking around?” She’d talked to him over lunch yesterday, but hadn’t seen him since, though she didn’t think Maya and Carina wouldn’t have encouraged him to stay.

“I’m sticking around,” he admitted shyly. “Don’t want to go to the apartment without them though.”

“That’s fair, but I don’t think we’re going to kick you out as long as Teddy’s keeping your sister in.”

“Do you think that will be much longer? I mean, now she’s not got all the tubes and stuff, that means she’s doing better right? And can go home soon?”

“I really don’t know anything about Maya’s case now Mason, and if I did I couldn’t tell you…” She saw his good humour fade and his shoulders start to tense. “...but I  _ can  _ tell you that I know you know Maya is doing much better today than she was yesterday and the day before, and Teddy won’t keep her here longer than she needs to be. And talk to her, and Carina about this...”

“Yeah, not sure that’s going to work just now…”

“Because you ran out on her?” Amelia gave him a nudge with her elbow, a gentle nudge this time, using it as a way to emphasise this was what she had been ‘judging’ him for. “Don’t look so surprised, you blew past me on the Ward when I was on my way to see them.”

“They told you…”

“About what you stormed off about? No. But I could guess from what we talked about.” Amelia pulled out her phone and found Google Maps, then found, like he had earlier, the uploaded photos people had posted of his artwork, finding the one Maya had shown him. “I didn’t know this was your work…” she said simply, holding out her phone for him to see. “Maya showed me her photo of it, that’s just a random uploaded one.”

“That was the first one.”

“It’s a dove?”

“Yeah…” He was about to start punching back at her, pointing out she knew this stuff because she was smart, but her earlier words were still in his ears, so he tried to not fight, but to talk. “...you know what they’re called…”

“Palomas de Fuego? Fire Doves? I know that, because I see patients who tell us they’re here because the Palomas de Fuego suggested we’d help them, and I know that a lot of them probably only even went and saw the firefighters because of you and your friends encouraging them to trust that they were the good guys. Did I and the other doctors know where the name came from? No.” Amelia looked at him thoughtfully. “Do the firefighters know they’re called that?”

“Yeah, not at first, but after a while...the ones that speak Spanish like Andy definitely picked up on it, and then it kind of spread.”

“Which is why you got angry that Maya didn’t...what, know about it?” Amelia realised she didn’t actually know the context in which this whole topic had been brought up in, so didn’t know why he’d left. “How did this even come up?”

“Did I need to let anyone know I was ok...I think there’s a welfare check visit this week, yeah, first week in the month...I thought Andy or someone could pass a message, that May was going to be alright and I was with her.”

“Ah, and she wondered what she had to do with you letting your friends know you were ok…” Amelia understood now. “...because she thinks she’s just another firefighter, and one that they don’t know because she keeps out of the way.”

“Yeah, but she’s not.”

“How do you mean?”

“She’s...we’re not stupid you know.”

“Did I say you were? Who’s ‘we’?”

“Homeless. We read the papers, listen to the radio...we know what’s going on, and we watch the City.” He picked at the bandage on his hand, then put his hands in his hoodie pockets, his leg bouncing instead. “Station 19 has been doing the checks round there since...before I was living out there. But after I painted that, people noticed the checks there had... extra stuff you know? Like stuff women need for their…” He swallowed, blushing.

“It’s tough love, but I’m not helping you, you have to learn to talk about the lady bits…”

“Like you do you mean?”

“I’m not the one that’s going to be moving in with the Head of OBGYN.”

“Head of? Carina’s the Head of her Department? Since when?”

“A couple of hours ago…her boss resigned and...you seen the Wizard of Oz?”

“No, but that’s the one with ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead’ yeah?” He remembered singing that song like a taunt as a teenager, but at who or for what reason he couldn’t remember.

“Yes, and you’re my new co-conspirator for teaching Carina about classic American movies. I’m inviting myself round for movie night.”

“Umm, how did we get from my sister being the ‘anonymous donor’ that meant the welfare checks had the things women need for their periods…” He grinned when she nodded at his progress. “...to you inviting yourself round to teach Carina about movies?”

“Because you’d stalled and I’m easily distracted. Go back to talking about your sister being behind the anonymous donations. What makes you think it was her?”

“The candy for the kids.”

“Your sister doesn’t have a sweet tooth, it’s painful watching her not eat chocolate cake but she’s a godsend when the rest of us want to sneak seconds...” She saw his attention start to wander to learning something new about their dynamic with Maya and spotted her mistake. “...but back to your story about candy for kids.”

“I know, that’s how I knew…” He leaned back and scrubbed his hands through his hair, sighing heavily. “...the selections were always my favourites, right down to the Nerds.”

“Original or holiday themed?”

“Both, but mostly the original ones…she’d buy a box, eat one grape one and one strawberry one then shove the box in my pocket as we passed in the corridor between classes. As long as I kept some strawberry ones back for her to have on the walk home from school, she’d buy me a box the next day our classes or something worked out...” There was a pattern somehow, but he’d not spotted it.

“How old were you?”

“I was…” He thought for a bit, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his ankles. “...from when she was in Middle School I suppose. She’s four years older than me and when she got to Middle School it was decided we’d walk home from school together. So from when I was in 2nd Grade I guess...yeah, that was it, but we didn’t have classes…oh.”

“Oh?”

“I hated math.” He saw her smirk. “No, like cut class, lose my books level hate.”

“Ah.” Amelia looked thoughtful, imagining that probably didn’t translate into a peaceful homelife if he was successful at it. “What’s that got to do with Nerds?” She was about to ask what sort of weirdo liked the strawberry Nerds more than the grape ones, when she remembered her milkshake order at Joe’s yesterday. “Is that why I got your milkshake yesterday?”

“Yeah…” He shrugged. “...the only sweet stuff she liked as a kid was berry flavoured, always picked strawberry when there was a choice...and I think she was...the box always came with a sum.”

“A sum? Like two plus two?”

“More like leave me twenty four, and make sure seven of them are grape…or twice as many strawberry as grape.”

“17 and 16…” said Amelia automatically, “...she was making you practice.”

“Or see the point of math? I don’t know, but it worked...she’d ask me if I went to all my classes or if I skipped any, and would make me double check my school bag…” He smirked. “...I could have hated her for that, but…” He shook his head, his eyes a little damp again, but he had worked out that Amelia and the others didn’t care or judge him, so he was trying not to as well. “...I liked Nerds.”

“Sounds like she was an awesome big sister...” 

“Yeah...and now I get that she never stopped, being awesome.”

“You tell her that yet?” He shook his head.

“Get around to it someday…” Amelia was momentarily amused by his look of surprise. “If you’re sticking around, you don’t need to do everything the minute you remember it, you can just enjoy the moments now for a bit…”

“...and not run out on her when I’m surprised at something?”

“That too.” Amelia mentally tossed a coin.  _ Heads.  _ She always got heads. Time to help them out a bit. “She knew how important the welfare checks were to so many people and she thought you hated her.”

“Not much of a stretch, I thought I did too.”

“Right. So she kept out of the way...so far out of the way that I don’t think it ever occurred to her team she didn’t know they were getting known as the Palomas de Fuego.” She realised she had a question. “Why did they need a special name? Why not just firefighters?”

“Some stations do their welfare checks with the cops on ridealongs...and you don’t always think firefighters are the good guys if they call out the cops when they find you at their scene. 19 always park their Aid Car in the same place in the park under the freeway, sometimes the Engine turns up.”

“Where you painted the dove?”

“They turn up other places too, but the ones that are really nervous? They watch them for a bit in the park under the freeway, learn to recognise the firefighters from 19 as people, see they don’t turn up with the cops and then, when they see them at other places, they...know they’re the firefighters from the dove painting.”

“Those were the paints your sister gave you?”

“Yeah...there was also some other stuff…”

“Let me guess, you gave the other stuff to the others and just kept the paints for yourself?”

“Don’t tell her?”

“What made you think of a dove?” asked Amelia, sending him a dirty look - they’d already covered, very early on, that she would only tell Maya what they talked about if it directly related to Amelia being concerned for his physical safety or if it might be relevant to Maya finding him again if he disappeared on them, neither of which applied there.

“The woman I gave the blankets and split pea soup to…” He laughed when Amelia pulled a face at the soup flavour. “May’s comfort food is green vegetables. The woman had a kid, I gave him one of the boxes of Nerds….she made me have some of the soup with her and asked me who the ‘cop who came back was’....once I’d finished explaining...she was hard to say no to, a bit like you actually, about the ‘cop’ being a firefighter and my sister, she said she thought the paints were an olive branch.”

“Oh, Noah’s Ark.” Amelia was surprised at his surprise. “You didn’t know the story?”

“I knew about the animals and the boat and the flood, but not the dove coming back with the olive branch in its beak, no…” He shrugged again, then scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Guess going out, failing, coming back and being sent out again was the more important part for him…”  _ Lane Bishop  _ translated Amelia, sticking another scalpel in her mental voodoo doll of that man. “...no clue what an olive branch looked like, but there were some pigeons around and I knew some people called them rock doves so…” He stretched his legs out in front of him, watching the people moving through the lobby for a minute. “...by dawn I was done, packed up my stuff and didn’t think about it for a couple of months. Then, other side of the park I think, I heard someone talking about how they got their infected arm fixed at the dove by the fire guys who didn’t bring the cops, how you could trust the  _ chicos de fuego de la paloma  _ would just have medicine...but that was a bit of a mouthful I guess, and didn’t make much sense when they were going to other places, not just the park.”

“So it became Palomas de Fuego....” 

With Maya the Captain on whose watch an already generous good thing became even more, no doubt being credited out of Mason’s earshot for the extra supplies by the original lady he’d passed his sister’s kindness onto. It was easy to see, realised Amelia, how as quietly as she could, but consistently ever since she’d found him by fluke it sounded like, Maya had used her position to make sure the Station’s welfare visits helped as much as they could, first with the extra supplies and now, as Captain, presumably by also making sure they had the time to do them. And as Mason had said, they were homeless, not stupid - if Amelia could see it with it virtually spelt out to her, those experiencing it first hand would also have seen it.

“Yeah.”

“So…” Amelia got her phone out again and looked at the picture of his painting that started so much good. “...where on the wall is this guy going?”

“What?”

“Si, it is your ‘Easter Egg’, it must be on your wall,” added Carina from behind them, arriving in time to hear Amelia’s question and being at the right angle to see her friend’s phone screen, and deciding they were probably close enough to ‘surprise’.

“I guess…” He stood up, turning round slowly, not expecting to hear Carina’s voice, worried her arrival meant something bad had happened to his sister…

....who was standing next to her girlfriend, looking...

“May!” He dashed round the end of the bench, only to be brought to a rapid stop by some arms grabbing around him in a rather experienced and effective hold, which he tried to pull out of. “Let go…”

“Mason, you need to calm down first,” said Teddy calmly, not remotely phased by his wriggling, having had plenty of experience of keeping family members that were too agitated to get any closer to her patients a safe distance from them.

“Stop fighting Teddy Mas…” said Maya quietly, knowing why Teddy had reacted the way she had. “...just tell her you haven’t forgotten we’re not hugging.”

“Oh.” He went still, hearing his sister’s voice and words despite not paying proper attention in her direction. “Right.” He felt the hold on him ease and some space open up between them again. “Sorry Teddy.”

“Ricky was next.”

“Ricky?” Teddy nodded to the rather strong looking guy in the porter’s uniform that was stood next to a wheelchair a couple of paces from Maya who waved, though he was smiling rather than looking menacing. “He tells me he played Offense in his High School Football team.” Lightly said, but the meaning was clear - Teddy was not taking any chances with her patient, even if he was Maya’s brother.

Teddy had, as soon as Maya and Carina started walking towards Mason, begun to worry about his reaction on seeing his sister standing, especially when she saw that Amelia’s conversation was holding his attention, making it highly likely Maya and Carina would surprise him. Teddy had already been witness to one surprised Bishop reaction today, and didn’t think Bailey would be forgetting it for a long time, and neither would Teddy, which also meant she’d been rather nervous about a second surprised Bishop. And based on what had just happened, she’d not been too wide of the mark.

“I promise I won’t hug Maya,” said Mason seriously, seeing that this wasn’t the joking ‘Teddy’ who teased Carina in the elbow wars, but the calm, Army surgeon who had spoken to the Press and had to operate on his sister after his last hug. “Last time I hugged Carina instead.”

“I heard. And that’s a good plan, for another week or two please. I don’t like having to take your sister into the OR.”

“I don’t like it either.”

“Alright then…” Teddy let go of him, her grin returning as she nodded towards Maya. “...didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

“You didn’t Teddy…” He returned her grin then turned around and just looked at his sister, his grin getting bigger and bigger.

“Say something?”

“You’re…” He looked from her to Carina, not sure if he quite believed what he was seeing. “...standing!”

“And walking.” Maya glanced at Carina who smiled and nodded, and out of Mason’s line of sight, let go of the hold she had on her girlfriend’s top, Carina holding her for the sheer joy at being able to wrap her arm around her girlfriend, rather than any physical need Maya had to use her as a prop. 

After a moment, Maya let go of Carina’s waist which she’d had her left arm wrapped around as they walked the dozen or so steps from the bench they’d started at to Mason and Amelia. Concentrating on maintaining her little pattern of thinking about particular movements and combining some of them with squeezing the nose of the bear with her right hand as that translated into gentle support for her abdomen and kept her collarbone and shoulder from shifting, Maya walked, unsupported towards him.

“This is…” Mason didn’t know what to say, just marvelling at seeing his sister standing in front of him. “...does it hurt? Are you ok? Do you need to sit down? Duh, of course it hurts...”

“Mason?”

“Er, yeah?” He was shaken out of his string of questions by Carina who had quietly come to join Maya so she could hang onto her again, knowing that she didn’t need Carina to stand up, but that by being able to anchor herself against her, Maya wasn’t as tense, and relaxed Maya was what they needed right now. And, she was prepared to admit to herself and to Maya, she’d missed her.

“Breathe, and listen to your sister.”

“Oh.” He breathed. Opened his mouth to speak, saw Carina’s raised eyebrow and shut his mouth again, then took a deliberate steadying breath.

“Bene…” Carina looked down at Maya, who had once more wrapped her arm around her waist and was again tucked into Carina’s side. “...your turn bella.”

“Oh, right.” Maya bit her lip, sharing a look with Mason - where would they be without Carina? They both knew the answer to that and it wasn’t stood here, now. “It’s not really any different to being in bed, but it is more tiring, so at some point I’ll need Ricky’s help again.” Mason looked at Ricky again, who, now Teddy was satisfied there was no threat of sudden rib crushing hugs, was back to standing by with the wheelchair. “But it’s not as tiring if I walk with Carina.” 

His cheeky grin made Carina chuckle.

“Brat… it’s easier because I’m less worried about whether someone’s going to walk into me or make me wobble…you’d do too...”

“Grazie!”

“...but I prefer my girlfriend.” Maya found herself having to fight a yawn, thinking about how much more active she’d been today compared to the last few making her yawn as a reflex. “Will you tell me about your wall? While I can still stand?” She looked over his shoulder, to the wall that was still protected from everyone by a line of cones and black and yellow tape. “That’s it right?”

“Yeah…” He saw her looking up. “...in my defence, Dr Bailey showed me the wall the first time when it was still in the corridor bit over there...do you want to maybe...?” He gestured towards the wall, not wanting to presume she could walk any further, unable to stop the grin when Maya moved her right foot forwards, carefully followed by her left, then her right again, forcing him to start walking towards his wall too so she had enough room to keep going.

“Can we start with where Bailey drew on it? I want a photo of that…”

“Sure…” Mason took a couple of quick steps to reach the tape, kicking the cones forwards so they were tight against the wall and not in Maya’s way, “...it’s…”

As he began to explain about his idea, answering questions from a clearly interested Maya with occasional comments from Carina, Amelia and Teddy watched, both taking the occasional sneaky photo of the three on their phones, familiar with Maya’s aversion to posing for pictures.

“That’s where Bailey picked?” checked Teddy, glancing at Amelia when she realised the little group hadn’t moved for a minute or two, and saw Maya letting go of Carina so she could get her phone out to take a photograph.

“Yeah. I think he’s got the idea we’re going to be all there, if we want to be…” Amelia picked up on Teddy’s surprise without needing to look away from where Maya was persuading Mason to pose with his signature. “...he tells me about it, and I only promised to keep it a secret from Maya, he wants to surprise her. He’s starting to see the guys from 19 are her family now, and thinks Carina needs some doctors on her side to even things up a bit.”

“So that means…” Teddy turned away from the wall and looked back towards the lobby entrance, checking she’d got her landmarks right. She had. “...was it deliberate?”

“Bailey picked it herself.”

“Yes, but…”

“This is  _ Bailey  _ we’re talking about Teddy…” reminded Amelia, finally looking at her friend to make sure she got her point. “Of course it was deliberate. Will you?”

“Will I what?”

“Be in it? You’ve got to be.”

“I…” Teddy had always had an uneasy relationship with stuffed bear toys, for the obvious reason of hating any bear or toy related nicknames, but she had started to overcome her reticence to them with Alison’s birth, and there was now of course one in her office wearing her SFD baseball cap. She was half toying with the idea of getting a matching one for her Army beret. “...would like that.”

“A Teddy teddy bear?” Amelia hadn’t realised what she was suggesting until now. “Oh, that’s brilliant…” She toned down her excitement when she saw the rather pained look Teddy shot her. “...I mean, you could probably be something else if you’d rather, he’s not sure about whether the treetops should be rainforest or more bears….”

“I want to be a bear,” said Teddy firmly, set on the idea now. “I just don’t like being called teddy bear…what?” Teddy was aware she’d lost her audience.

“Oh my…”

“What?” Teddy turned around to look at what Amelia was looking at, expecting it to be something to do with Maya and Carina being sweet. “Oh, wow…” ...which in a way it was, though not in the way they were accustomed to.

“Did you?” asked Amelia, turning back to Teddy after the moment was over.

“Take a photo of Maya taking selfies? Oh yeah…” 

Teddy showed her photo to Amelia as she looked at the one Amelia had taken, their slightly different positions creating very different photos. Amelia had the unusual sight of Maya properly posing for a photo, Mason stood behind her and Carina close to Maya’s right side, the clue that maybe Maya was taking the selfie was that her left arm was raised and out of frame. But it was Teddy’s that was the best - it was a horrible picture of the group, as she’d managed to cut out Mason’s head completely, miss off half off Carina’s face and Maya’s head was at a weird angle in the picture and slightly fuzzy, but the strange composition had been deliberate, with the autofocus settling exactly where she wanted it, showing Maya was the one holding the phone and taking the shot. Maya was going to hate it.

“Carina’s going to love that…” said Amelia sincerely, appreciating what Teddy, from her slightly different position, had managed to capture. “...she’s doing really well.”

“Carina?”

“Yeah, her too, but I meant Maya…” Amelia looked at Teddy, “...I mean, compared to the usual quick up and down the ward?”

“Yeah.” Teddy looked at her watch, her eyebrows raising when she saw how long Maya had been on her feet and generally out of bed. “Really well…” She watched as Mason clearly persuaded Maya to let him take another picture of her stood leaning against Carina, her smile bright as Carina laughed at whatever he’d said. 

“I just hope she sits down again soon.” 

“She will…” said Teddy, thinking back to Carina needing to practice a bit of ‘tough love’ earlier in the day. “...she’s a quick learner from the right teacher.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for yet more wonderful comments and kudos, I promise I will get to replying to them soon.  
> Lots of chapters coming this weekend - experience has taught me to try not to leave a story hanging when a show returns with a 'dramatic' storyline as sometimes writing muses run away and hide in shock! [Really hoping that won't happen here, but I've been at this wlw fandom malarkey too long....]
> 
> Do make yourself a beverage of choice and find a comfy chair...hope you enjoy :-)

“Bella?” whispered Carina, watching as Mason puzzled his way through working out how to email himself the selfie Maya had taken of the three of them.

“Hmm?” Maya leaned back against her girlfriend, able to forget about her incisions and broken bones for a few minutes as Mason told her about his plan for ‘his wall’ with the wall to wave at, feeling almost ‘normal’ with Carina’s arms carefully wrapped around her waist and hips.

“You are feeling sleepy…”

“Am I?” Maya blinked slowly, trying to work out how Carina could mean that.

“Si…” She rested her chin on Maya’s left shoulder, which meant she could see her girlfriend’s face in profile. “...can I take you back to your room before I go to my meeting?”

“You have a meeting?”

“Not officially, but Teddy and Amelia have a Heads of Department meeting at 5.”

“Oh, you must go and surprise everyone…” agreed Maya, turning towards her girlfriend’s voice and smiling. “...umm…” She looked sheepish.

“Si, I felt you wobble, but we wobbled together.”

“I guess I’ve been quite busy today…”

“Si. You have done very well, and can maybe have a tour of Teddy’s ward before we go to sleep tonight?”

“Really?” It hadn’t occurred to Maya that a second standing up and walking around opportunity was a possibility.

“I think you are very good at sitting and standing, so we can have another go if you are not too tired.”

“No OT then?”

“I did not say that…” cautioned Carina, not surprised that she was having to go into all the details with Maya right now - accepting surprises and showing patience were only selectively some of her girlfriend’s strengths. “...I would like you to listen to their advice on Monday for the things I do not know anything about, like using the bathroom and getting dressed, and I would like you to ask Link’s opinion on whether you are nervous about using your left arm because of your ribs or because it is still a bit strained and stiff from you catching me with it.”

“Oh.” Maya followed Carina’s little subliminal hints and nudges and stood up on her own enough for Carina to move from being completely behind Maya to once again at her left side, so they could see each other properly. “Those are good ideas…” agreed Maya thoughtfully, chewing on her lip. “...and I think, if it were me with the meeting, I’d like to see you were back in bed resting before I went to it…” She looked nervously at Carina, wondering if she’d been right to slam the door on the ‘eyes forward’ voice before it could start, or whether she was being lazy.

“I agree. In that situation I would probably fight you a little but would, I think remember I want to have you help me rather than a nurse.” She saw a tentative grin forming, that wasn’t quite her favourite impish grin, but was not far away. “What?”

“It’s my new strategy.”

“Si?”

“Think what you’d do and compare it to what everyone at the Station would expect me to do.”

“Ah.” Carina wasn’t quite seeing how it worked as a strategy, but could appreciate it would almost invariably produce two different scenarios. “And this helps how?”

“Most times I’m the idiot, sometimes you’re the idiot, and sometimes we’re idiots together? It sounded way better in Italian though…”

“It is not most times…” protested Carina, wishing Maya had more confidence in her ability to make the smart choices, but knowing now was not the moment to open that topic again. “...but you are saying with two choices you can decide which one of us is the idiot? What if we are both being idiotic?”

“Then we give the puppies the casting vote…” suggested Maya, leaning in and kissing Carina’s chin, frustrated that because she couldn’t risk stretching her abdomen or lifting her right shoulder, she had discovered she needed Carina to lean down into kissing range when they were standing up. But that was a small inconvenience for being able to stand up. “And so far they vote for sleeping on you every time.”

“Si?” Carina leaned in, then pulled her head back quickly, earning her a frustrated frown. “But what did you decide?”

“About what?”

“Your imaginary me or the imaginary station-you?”

“Oh, Station me is the idiot, and you’re you…” Maya saw her girlfriend’s point. “What’s Italian for take me home please?”

“Portami a casa per favore…” Carina frowned. “You are thinking of your room as ‘home’?”

“No, but I am never asking anyone other than you to take me to bed.”

“Ah, si, I would prefer you not ask anyone else that…” agreed Carina, seeing what Maya was trying to do. “But I do not mind you saying riportami in camera mia, per favore.”

“What’s that?”

“Take me back to my room please.”

“Can you say it again slow enough I might be able to remember it please? You know how easily my tongue gets in a tangle.”

Mason choking gave away that he had finished working out how to email the pictures on Maya’s phone to himself and had started listening again.

“Of course that’s the bit he listens to.” Maya looked past Carina to her brother with her Captain’s ‘glare’.

“His accent is already better than yours bella…” whispered Carina quietly, amused by the siblings teasing each other, but not wanting them to get into a big debate about it now, because time was short and Maya was starting to lean more and more of her weight onto Carina, giving away how tired she was getting.

“I know…” Maya stuck her tongue out at Mason, wiggling it, making him laugh. “...I shall work out how to get my own back.”

“Si, I know you will. So…” Carina shifted the position of her arm so she felt a little more in control of any wobbling they might be about to have. “Riportami is the only new word for you to try.” Carina laughed at the indignant expression on Maya’s face.

“Ri.”

“Ri.”

“Por.”

“Por.”

“Ta.”

“Ta.”

“Mi...ri-por-ta-mi.”

“Riportami?”

“Si! Riportami in camera mia, per favore.”

“Ricky?”

“Yes Captain?”

“Ri-por-ta-mi in camera mia, per favore.” 

“Of course Captain.”

“You speak Italian?” Maya had expected to repeat herself in English.

“Not really…” He moved the wheelchair into position and applied the brakes, then moved the blanket off the seat, guessing Dr DeLuca would help her again. “...my grandparents were from Corsica, but asking to be taken back to their room sounded kind of the same and...” He shrugged, grinning at the pair, knowing they also understood that, as a porter, the range of questions Maya might be asking him now she was looking properly tired were somewhat limited and fairly easy to guess.

“Ah, si. Corsican is similar.” Carina, mystery solved, concentrated on helping Maya as she sat down in the chair. 

“I thought they spoke Spanish.”

“Mas?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s Costa Rica. Corsica is an island off Italy...” She accepted her phone back from him, though gave it to Carina to put in her pocket, as sitting down, Maya’s pockets were a bit inaccessible.

Maya’s grasp of European Geography had been greatly improved since she’d made the mistake of confusing the island of Sicily with the Scilly Isles, although Carina had very much enjoyed the daffodils once they’d untangled why Maya had expected Carina to find the yellow spring flowers especially familiar. Moreover, her recent foray into reading about Cycling Grand Tours had helped her even more and she was looking forward to trying the book Carina had mentioned about the Giro d’Italia as a way to improve her grasp of Italian geography. She’d possibly just start Mason off with a map...and maybe check he knew Madrid was not the same as Milan.

“A  _ French _ island off Italy,” added Carina quietly, helping Maya get her feet safely on the foot rests after tucking Maya’s phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

“An island very close to Italy, not quite as close to France, that they liked swapping between themselves,” added Maya, feeling quite proud of herself for knowing Corsican trivia. “But France got it as part of some debt payment about the time of the Revolution here.” That she knew Mason knew a lot about, because they’d had the same teacher at school for American History and not only had all the kids thought he looked old enough to have first hand experience of the period, he was rather obsessed with it and tested them regularly. 

“Si?” Carina looked at Maya in surprise. “I did not know it was all at the same time…”

“It’s been French a little bit longer than we’ve not been British.” Maya managed to confuse herself with her use of negatives, nevermind confuse Carina. “I mean…” She lifted her left arm up out of her lap so Carina could tuck the blanket Ricky had passed her into place. “...it became part of France before 1776.”

“1768.” Mason held up his phone at the surprised look Carina sent him. “Google’s pretty cool…but how did you know that?”

“Tour de France had its first three stages there for the 100th race. Pretty cool actually, as it meant that all their equivalents of the mainland US States and Counties have had a race day…” She saw his expression hadn’t really changed, and worked out where she’d gone wrong, groaning, “I read it in a book doofus.”

“Va bene…” soothed Carina, having sympathy with Maya’s groan but not wanting to have to referee a Bishop sibling debate. Seeing Amelia and Teddy were stood chatting with Bailey and Link. “...can you start with Ricky and I will catch you up? I just want to tell Bailey I am coming to her meeting...and find out where it is happening.”

“Sure…” Maya leaned back and looked up at Ricky. “Are we going back the same way we came?” Carina saw him nod.

“Bene.” She leaned in and kissed Maya, still just managing to avoid colliding with the cap. “I will be only a couple of minutes.”

* * *

“How’s she doing?” asked Bailey as Carina joined their little huddle, watching as Maya was wheeled into an elevator, Mason sitting back down on the same bench, his head bent over his sketchbook, drawing. “And he seems…”

“Calmer?” suggested Carina, knowing what Bailey meant. “Si. As long as he can keep staying with us and does not have to try the apartment without her, I think he will be fine...and thank you Amelia,” Carina gave her best friend a brief hug, surprising the neurosurgeon. “I know a lot of that is because of his time with you, and Maya is very grateful and will say thank you I know at some point soon.”

“No need,” dismissed Amelia, feeling a little uncomfortable with the praise after she’d returned Carina’s hug. “I think we’re the ones that should be thanking you for being with her…” She looked at the three surgeons who had, unlike her, actually operated on Maya. “...she doesn’t have the best reputation as a patient but she’s doing amazingly…”

“Definitely,” agreed Teddy, giving Carina a one armed hug, sensing that more would probably be a bit much for her to cope with just now after Amelia’s hug. “...and I know you’re going to shrug and say something very sweet about loving her, but we all know that even the most loving of relationships don’t always know how to cope in situations like this.”

“Take the compliment,” said Bailey, nodding in agreement with Teddy’s observation. “And no reason he needs to go anywhere until you do…”

“Grazie Bailey, for everything. You have a Heads of Department meeting now?”

“Yeah, but you…” She’d been about to say that Carina didn’t need to attend, but she saw the spark of determination in her friend. “...want to come?”

“Si. I know we have much to discuss and agree, and I would like to take some time to be with Maya when she can come home, but I think there is already much that needs to be sorted in the department, starting with the elevators and back up power supplies.”

Link’s face betrayed his confusion, earning him a typically Amelia type update as to what he’d missed.

“Lachman resigned, Carina knows more about her department, that wasn’t hers until a couple of hours ago, than any of us know about ours, and before she became Dr Orgasm used to run half a hospital.”

“It was not half.”

Four surgeons raised their eyebrows at her, wondering why she’d challenged that particular part of Amelia’s summary.

“It was only a third of the financial cost of the hospital.”

“That’s…” Link was about to say that was either a very big OBGYN department or a small hospital when he felt his girlfriend’s elbow.

“She was Head of Paeds too.”

“No, I was Capo del Dipartimento Materno-Infantile...it is more like how…” Carina thought for a moment. “...like how we all have Bailey also, and she has all of us. It was the same for me.” She shrugged, putting her hands in her pockets. “I do not know anything about your meeting, and would like to make sure Maya is resting in bed before I come…”

“No problem.” Bailey looked at her watch. “You want us to get you a coffee from the cart out front?”

“It’s open?” Carina’s eyes brightened at the thought of a properly good coffee.

“Such an Italian…” laughed Teddy, patting her friend on the back.

“Are you coming to see Maya later?” asked Carina, looking seriously at Link when she remembered another reason for him being in the hospital besides this meeting. “You’ve looked again at her scans?”

“Yeah, there’s…” He looked to Teddy for her to take the lead.

“We’re talking to Addison when she’s out of her surgery, then will...”

“Si, but I thought…” Carina started to look worried.

“No!” Teddy quickly corrected herself. “Sorry Carina, not like that. Let me start again?” She saw Carina nod carefully, still not fully at ease. “You know I’m talking to Addison after her surgery, so I can hear from her what Julia already told us, about bullet number 4 and we all stop worrying each other.”

“Si.”

“From my perspective, absolutely nothing has changed from when you spoke to her about that a couple of hours ago.”

“But?”

“I’m the one confusing things,” said Link, seeing what had happened. “I’ve got some options to talk through with Maya, about what we could do to tidy up that ankle of hers…”

“You mean fix the existing weakness as well as the current swelling?”

“Yeah. But before I talk to Maya about them, I want to check with Dr Montgomery…” He saw Carina was still uncertain, but guessed it was more to do with them still being a bit cryptic by accident. “...I don’t want to assume that her ankle takes priority for things like weight-bearing limitations, or even whether it should be done under local or …”

“Ah, si! Epidural or general anaesthetic. I understand now.” Carina nodded. “I will warn her now, so she can be ready...it would be good if you do not mind her going for a walk around Teddy’s ward afterwards, as long as she is not too tired? Moving helps her think.”

“I promise not to get in the way of an evening stroll…” 


	40. Chapter 40

“Hey…” Maya looked up at Carina as she saw her step out of the elevator just as they arrived in the second floor lobby. “...that was well timed.”

“My spies are very good…” Carina smartly stepped back into the empty elevator and held the doors open so Ricky could push the wheelchair in carefully, though the car was level with the floor this time, so it wasn’t too difficult. “...Bailey says hello.”

“Is she still scared of me?” Maya leaned her head back and looked up at Ricky. “There’s the driver-passenger code of silence right?” she teased, knowing he was already doing a very good job of selectively forgetting some of what he’d been privy to courtesy of the three surgeons being in good spirits on their journey down to the lobby.

“‘Station Mom’ said I was to give the Captain a hug. And I will tell you if Chief Bailey is still cautious of your Captain’s growl after my meeting…” Carina held the doors open so Ricky could manoeuvre Maya out onto their floor. “...but she is friendly.”

“I should probably apologise…” mumbled Maya, now she’d had some time to think back to their rather tumultuous day, feeling self-conscious about her earlier flash of fury.

“It is…” Carina caught them up again after being momentarily trapped the wrong side of a patient on a trolley being taken to scan. “...water under the bridge I think?” She couldn’t see Maya’s face because of the peak of the cap, so couldn’t check her girlfriend’s expression for confirmation she’d got the phrase right or wrong, but decided the lack of correction meant she’d got it right enough. “We were all wearing more than one hat in that conversation and everyone was a little muddled. But…” She waved at Maggie Pierce as they passed the nurses’ station, then used her access card to open the doors for Maya and Ricky. “...we are all friends still so do not go back when there is no need.” She waited until they were all through the door, before adding casually. “Or we go back when you can drink and eat and we blame Kate over a good meal.”

“I think that’s the first time you’ve been negative about her…” observed Maya thoughtfully, trying to think back to all the conversations they’d had in which Carina’s now former immediate boss was a topic, also noting it was Carina’s Italianness coming to the fore again if her idea of when to properly vent her feelings about her predecessor meant being able to dissect her faults with a glass of wine and something sinfully delicious involving pasta...which something Maya never thought she’d ever think about pasta.

“Si? I try to not be negative about people unless they are very bad or very far away, as I am not very good at hiding my feelings.”

“And now she’s very far away?”

“Canada I think still, but Bailey fired her so that also makes her bad.” She opened Maya’s room door, pleased to see everything was as it should be.

“Even though she resigned?”

“Apparently Meredith agreed the hospital could not accept her resignation and then they both fired her. It is with the lawyers now….grazie Ricky.” Carina smiled at the porter, suspecting she’d probably see him again the next time Maya was going on a bigger adventure, as he put the brakes on the chair.

“But you’re ok? I mean…”

“Si, everything is good for me bella.” Carina folded up the blanket and passed it back to Ricky, who went and put it in the cupboard, remembering Dr Shepherd had borrowed it from the room stock in the first place. “I am the Head of Department, she is not coming back to this hospital and I do not have to be involved in how the hospital and her end their relationship. Apparently she was already in trouble with the lawyers because of some rules she let me break.”

“Huh?” Maya didn’t like the sound of that, and although her feet were now on the floor, she made no attempt to stand up yet, wanting Carina to explain. “What rules? That doesn’t sound like you…”

“Scusa, I did not mean that I did the wrong thing.” Carina took a second to try and work how to explain something that she didn’t really understand herself, only to realise Maya could probably understand it better than she could. “You do the shifts for your station, si?”

“Yeah, put the rosters together so every shift gets the right mix of weekends and downtime...make sure no one does too many doubles or extra time...which was the rule you didn’t know you’d got the wrong side of ...why you’ve had even funnier shifts lately because you weren’t allowed to do anymore 24 hour shifts or full nights.”

“Si. I know the European rules, but had not known there were rules at Grey-Sloan.” It had been why Carina had left at midnight on Christmas Day morning and gone to see Maya at the station, and, thanks to the puppies, had still been there when the Climpson twins decided they were going to be Christmas Day babies. “Bailey is telling everyone what they need to know at the start of the meeting, so I will not miss anything by being late…” Carina grinned. “...and so I was supposed to tell you my orders are to get you into bed. Which Amelia found very funny and Teddy reminded me was against your actual doctor’s orders.”

“Don’t remind me…” grumbled Maya, still not prepared to forgive Bailey for bringing up orgasms in the context of her not being allowed any for a while yet. Needing to distract herself from that topic again, she caught her lip as she concentrated on standing up, managing on her own, but definitely finding it harder work than when she’d stood up in the lobby, feeling tired muscles protesting.

“Thank you Ricky…” Carina smiled at him as he pulled the wheelchair out from behind Maya, both of them now used to Maya catching them by surprise and standing up on her own with very little warning. “...we are good, thank you. Could you tell the nurses I will come and see them in a minute per favore?”

“Bye Ricky…” called out Maya, feeling bad that she wasn’t turning around and thanking him properly, but she was a little bit stuck now she was standing up, unwilling to let go of the strong grip she had on Carina with her left hand, her right hand firmly holding onto the bear’s nose so it helped to support her abdomen.

“See you around Captain, Doctor.” 

He left, closing the door quietly behind him, pleased he could help them have a good, if unconventional, first walk after major surgery, not at all offended by the Captain’s preoccupation with not falling over - that was how it was supposed to be, and even he could see she was rather more tired than when she’d started. Plus, he’d take that minute of having those three senior doctors listening to him explaining the problems the elevators were causing the porters over a thousand thank yous and goodbyes from patients, and he’d got both.

“Bene bella…” Carina, now Maya was safely balanced sitting on the edge of the bed, took the Station 19 SFD cap off her girlfriend’s head, making a mental note to see if someone could bring one down for Maya, happy to share her special cap in an emergency, but not prepared to risk it losing its specialness through too much wear. “...ahie...” Carina felt herself being pushed steadily forwards - not a sharp shove, but a sustained, gentle pressure in the small of her back, applied by Maya’s left hand which had managed to sneak its way inside the very small gap at the back of her jeans. “...bella?”

“I’m sitting up…” pointed out Maya proudly, having found a way to stay comfortably balanced, her feet resting on the floor acting as one anchor, the bed still at the fairly low height Carina had adjusted it to when Maya had been going to attempt sitting and standing up for the first time. It meant it was at just the right height for her thighs to be at a slight downward angle allowing her hips to be not too flexed and she therefore didn’t feel like she was needing to try and clench abs she currently couldn’t use. And just when she might have been worried she might wobble backwards, she’d found she could use her left arm to steady herself by almost hugging her girlfriend….who was a bit too far away.

“Si, you are sitting up very well…” Carina shuffled forwards a little bit, so the front of her thighs were touching the edge of the bed, prompting her to look down and see she was standing between Maya’s legs… “Your hip…”

“Is not rotated, made the space for you all with my left one,” confirmed Maya proudly, knowing what Carina was worried about. “I might have sat down at a bit of an angle to make it easier…” she admitted, making Carina draw her eyes up from Maya’s knees, looking with a clinician’s eyes and noting that yes, her girlfriend had managed to create the space for Carina by sitting down on the edge of the bed at an angle, so while it looked like she’d rotated her right leg outwards at the hip, it was actually perfectly in line and so not stressing her incisions, and her left leg was doing the work. “...and might have pinched the idea from you.”

“Me?” Carina was trying to work out when she’d done something that made Maya think about the angles of their bodies in this way.

“My bunk? Teaching me about holding the puppies?” 

“Ah! Si.” Carina saw what Maya, who was much more of a spatial thinker than Carina, had worked out - based on the angle between them, not only had it been possible for Maya to find a way to stay balanced while holding Carina close, she’d also managed to create room for her right arm, still using the teddy bear as an anchor to protect lots of her injuries, to have the space it needed without Carina needing to worry about squashing her. It was exactly the same way Carina had angled them so that she could start holding the puppies against her chest then gradually shift them so they were snuggled against Maya’s body as the blonde’s confidence grew. “We still have to watch the other video.”

“And I’m going to wait until you are here to watch it with me.” Maya finally gave into the frustration that her accumulated injuries were causing her. “One hand sucks.”

“Eh?”

“Only having one hand sucks.” She drew Carina’s attention to where her left hand was by drawing little squiggles on her skin, skin that was definitely very much below the waist.

“It is…” Carina’s voice hitched - she’d known Maya’s hand was inside her clothes, but in making sure she hadn’t undone her careful progress so far by sitting badly, Carina had rather lost track of exactly where Maya had managed to sneak her hand to. “...having quite the adventure…” And having quite the effect on Carina too, as for all the time they’d been together and all the physical contact between them since Maya had first woken up in Recovery in the early hours of Wednesday morning, there had not been much opportunity or inclination for romantic intimacy by either of them.

“But you are still…” Maya stretched her neck forwards as much as she dared, pouting when she couldn’t even get their noses to brush against each other. “...which is why only having one hand sucks.” She straightened her neck again, putting even more distance between her lips and Carina’s. “It was a silly idea…” she sighed, her frustration starting to take over and her squiggles stopping.

“Mamma mia…” Carina’s brain finally caught on to her girlfriend’s point. “...tocca a me essere l'idiota…” She was cross with herself for not seeing the bigger point, but her crossness was expressed in Italian, and a stream of Italian that only had one word in it that Maya recognised.

“Yeah, well, I did say I’d be the idiot…”

“No!” Carina reached behind her and, despite the awkward strain it put on her shoulder, managed to trap Maya’s hand while it was still inside the back of her jeans. “...tocca a me essere l'idiota...means it is  _ my  _ turn to be the idiot.”

“Oh.” Maya’s frustration didn’t fully go away, but she did stop trying to reclaim her left hand, so Carina risked letting go of it.

“Si.” She put her right hand lightly on Maya’s left knee, and began walking her fingers up the firm ridge of undamaged muscles, privately hoping Link would know some clever physiotherapists and trainers who could help Maya keep her undamaged bits strong in a safe way. “You know…” With her left hand, she reached in between their chests and straightened Maya’s uniform shirt collar, which she realised wasn’t quite looking right because it didn’t have the little flashes of silver from her Captain’s insignia catching the light. “...we agreed to share being the idiot…” Her walking fingers had made it over the cuffed edge of the dark blue hoodie that was about one third zipped, closed enough to help keep Maya’s modesty given her shirt was only really a front, but also to help hold the bear in place.

“We…” Maya had started to draw patterns again, with Carina leaning in towards her making it feel like it was easier to explore further, stroking skin she’d explored and kissed countless times before, giving her fingertips the confidence that comes from familiarity but at the same time was feeling like a whole new experience given how carefully she was having to concentrate. “...used to be much better at this…” she sighed, thinking of how often in her office she’d find herself backed up against her desk, hands buried in Carina’s hair, teasing and kissing, stealing the seconds before the next alarm or page or random visitor.

“Si…” Carina’s walking fingers had made it to the fastenings on Maya’s uniform shirt, delighted to rediscover that this was one of the ones with the poppers that snapped open if she just tugged the fabric  _ so _ … “...we can always practice?” she suggested, her left hand moving from Maya’s collar to her neck as her right hand rediscovered that not only were the poppers very easy to part, but for once her girlfriend did not have lots of layers on.

“Mmm…” Maya almost bit through her lower lip when she felt Carina’s finger graze the side of her left breast in an effort to not jerk her body, her fingers faltering in their pattern drawing for a moment, prompting Carina to pause. “...don’t stop…” she pleaded, concentrating on breathing carefully for a moment, feeling her body responding to Carina’s touch, recognising the gentle, intimate touch and remembering passionate love, despite her body actually telling Carina she really did need to pause.

“Ssshhh…” Carina started teasing the nape of Maya’s neck as she leaned in, keeping her right hand steady, understanding that slow and careful was necessary so that their moment could continue when they were both able to cope with the emotions and sensations that they were rediscovering, together. “...we will be smart together…” she whispered, brushing the faintest of kisses across Maya’s trapped lip, waiting for a hint that her girlfriend was feeling a little more equilibrium. 

Carina was also glad of the moment’s pause, having her own struggles to contend with, being terrified of moving in such a way as to cause pain for Maya, as her real concern was that Maya would ‘embrace the pain’ and not stop her. But she was also worried that voicing any of these concerns would make her girlfriend think she wasn’t trusting her, or worse, not attracted to her, both of which were completely alien ideas to Carina, but easily reached for conclusion if her girlfriend’s brilliant brain decided to make one of its cruel muddles for Maya to have to deal with.

“...you’re tense…” Maya frowned, her left handed exploration determining that Carina had tensed her glutes when Maya asked her to stop, which now Maya had noticed, she didn’t know how to interpret. Tension was synonymous with anxiety, which happened when fears came to the surface, which Maya was bringing to the surface and started to make Maya feel the opposite of ‘in the mood’. “...I’m making you…”

“Have thoughts I must not have if I am to not get us in trouble with Teddy bellissima…” sighed Carina, knowing what Maya’s first thought must have been, and made a conscious effort to relax the muscles under her girlfriend’s warm hand. “...I do not have the skill you have at turning on and off the right muscles without involving their friends and neighbours...”

“But…” Maya’s frown faded when she felt the muscles relaxing under her hand, and untangled what Carina really meant - that she’d been trying to move or not move a particular way? Because of what Maya was doing?

“Mamma mia…” Carina’s smile took away the sting of the despairing lament at Maya’s bemusement. “...if you had both hands I would already have climaxed, although in these jeans one hand is probably sufficient...”

“Oh.” Maya’s brain took a moment to move from straightforward acknowledgement that her ears had heard what Carina had said, to properly processing the meaning of what had been said. “ _ OH… _ you mean…”

“That you are not the only one suddenly extremely aroused and very frustrated?” Carina’s smile showed all her frustration as she nodded. “Si. What do we do when we are making out in your office and get interrupted that Andy always teases us about?”

“Trip over our feet.” Maya looked down, trying to ignore her girlfriend’s hand in her shirt as she tried to visualise where her feet were currently, relative to Carina’s, and why they always got in a tangle in her office. “You were trying not to move your feet?” No matter how they started, and despite Carina being the owner of the ridiculously long pair of legs in their relationship, it was always Maya who ended up with the flexed thigh muscles as Carina pressed against her....and Maya loved it.

“Si! I am sorry bella...” She resumed her careful teasing of the softness at the nape of Maya’s neck, finding she could mimic the swirling pattern with her fingers that Maya had started gently drawing on her. “...I did not mean you to think your touch caused negative feelings or thoughts for me...and I did not mean for mine to be too much for you.” Carina sighed heavily, mumbling another ‘mamma mia’ and a rapid string of Italian Maya could barely hear, nevermind make any attempt to understand.

“Can you find your English please?” asked Maya quietly, feeling a little calmer about the effect her touch had had on her girlfriend, but still worried in general about Carina was or wasn’t coping with whatever it was that was making her mumble in Italian. “I can’t help fix what I don’t understand.”

“Scusa, sono arrabbiato con me stesso….” Carina sighed again, only this time with a hollow chuckle as she let her head softly drop forwards so it was resting on Maya’s left shoulder, which was her usual hiding spot when she was mortified by something, her right hand slipping away from her girlfriend’s breast, stroking over ribs and settling lightly against her left side, bemused for a moment why she could feel warm skin under her fingers and the fluffy fleece-like inside of the hoodie rather than the shirt fabric, having forgotten that Maya’s shirt was just a left sleeve acting as an anchor to hold up the shirt front.

“You’re fine,” said Maya quickly, sensing Carina’s sudden hesitancy when she remembered Maya’s injured state. It wasn’t the most comfortable she’d ever been, as Carina’s head was feeling a little heavy which she knew must be a symptom of her tiredness and lack of muscles, but it wasn’t making her feel any new pain and Maya wasn’t going to disrupt this moment until she understood what was going on. “Talk to me please?”

“...In English, talk in English…” repeated Carina, locking her thoughts into the right language so she got her words out in the correct language. “I am cross with myself for being so bad at this, at keeping control of myself...I’m a doctor and still I’m so selfish.” 

Carina stayed ‘hiding’ in her girlfriend’s neck and shoulder, expecting some sort of response or reaction, but a strange half hiccup, cough sort of sound was not what she’d thought she would hear, and it triggered enough mix of concern and curiosity that she emerged from her hiding place and straightened up again.

“Bella?” Maya pinched her butt. “Hey!”

“My hands aren’t insured for an obscene amount of money so I don’t need to use my elbow.”

“They should be, they are very clever hands,” corrected Carina, deciding she should stop torturing herself and moved her right hand from where it had been stroking Maya’s back and instead carefully wrapped her fingers over Maya’s right hand, remembering at the last minute she was probably needing to press with the bear occasionally, so shouldn’t let go of its nose. “But why the pinch?”

“We’re both so bad at this.” As much as Maya wanted to stay sitting up, she was starting to really ache. “Can you help me lie down please?”

“Si bella.” 

There was a brief silence save the occasional practical request like a gentle reminder to breathe, or the encouragement to press with the bear, but a minute or so later, Maya was lying down on the bed, her head on a pillow, but otherwise still wearing her sneakers, ankle strapping and hoodie, though the bear had been rescued and was now propped up on the bedside unit, once more wearing the cap.

“Better?”

“Yeah, can you come so I can see you please?”

“Un momento, I think you would be more comfortable without your shoes and the strapping?”

“But…”

“The specialists in Link’s department will be here later and can help put the strapping back on for your next walk - there is always someone there in his department, just like there is always someone in mine.” Carina came back up to the head of the bed and leaned in so Maya could see her - it wasn’t how she’d been asked, Carina knew her girlfriend’s request had been for Carina to lie down with her, which she would do in a minute, but this was a brief lean across, mostly so Carina could get a sense as to how well she was anticipating Maya’s muddle. “That’s a bright smile…” Too bright for what Carina had been expecting.

“You said ‘my department’,” pointed out Maya, pride in and for her girlfriend overriding any thoughts about her own situation.

“Ah.” Carina smiled, amused at Maya’s delight. “Do you agree about your shoes?”

“That I’d be comfortable without them? Yeah…” Maya nodded, still mostly distracted with delight for Carina’s surprise ‘promotion’. “...that’s the first time I think I’ve heard you say ‘my department’ since it became yours.”

“I did not mean it like that,” admitted Carina honestly, undoing the shoe Teddy had tied but having a slight issue with the other one. “There is a knot…”

“We need to tell Link not to let Amelia teach Scout how to tie shoelaces, she does it in a strange way.”

“Ah!” Carina spotted the problem and untied the knot with ease. “She was not concentrating, that is all.” Sneakers removed, she left the sock on Maya’s left foot and, recalling Sam’s instructions, released the velcro straps on the ankle brace and worked it loose. Putting the sneakers on the floor, she quickly washed her hands and was then, a minute later, lying down on ‘her’ side of the generously wide hospital bed.

“What do you mean you did not mean ‘my department’ like it was yours?”

“I had just been thinking in terms of it being OBGYN.”

“Oh.” First mystery solved, Maya turned her head so she could see Carina. “Hi.”

“Ciao…” Carina turned onto her side and propped her head up on her hand, then shifted her hips across the bed until she was lightly touching Maya’s, their left hands finding each other. “...Amelia did a surgical knot with your shoe laces so they would not undo, then made the bow.” She leaned in and they shared one of their slow, gentle kisses that they’d become rather fond of these last few days, full of love and tenderness.

“Mmm…” Maya blinked sleepily as Carina’s lips moved out of reach. “...we’re getting good at that.”

“Si, we’re getting good at a great many things,” said Carina, her eyes bright. “We just need to get good at going slowly.” Maya shook her head, confusing Carina. “You disagree?”

“No need for you to suffer…” she said, nudging their joined left hands towards Carina, their tangled fingers bumping into the zip fly of Carina’s jeans. “...I mean, if you don’t find it too weird, I like, love, um…” Maya was so glad when Carina took her out of her mumbling misery with another languid, loving kiss.

“Grazie bellissima, at some point when we are back in our bed, I would very much enjoy exploring what we are both comfortable with…” For someone normally so confident and open about sex, Carina was being unusually cryptic, prompting Maya’s eyebrow to rise ‘loudly’. “....hush, I am about to go to my first meeting as capo del Dipartimento, I am trying to…” Carina caught the side of her lower lip in her teeth, finding the struggle of trying to catch hold of the idiomatic expression she could half remember was an intellectual substitute for a ‘cold shower’. “...keep my thoughts out of the drain?”

“Mind out of the gutter…” corrected Maya, her eyebrow returning to its normal position as she understood - Carina was nervous. “...and I am making you late.”

“No! That is not what I meant.” Carina eased her hand from Maya’s grasp, carefully bending her left leg so her knee lightly rested on her girlfriend’s uninjured left thigh as she tried to convey she wasn’t letting go because she was about to leave, but because she needed to use her hand for a moment. “I am going to be late, and want to be late so I am not there while everyone asks their questions about Kate Lachman not being here anymore. And I am under orders from Bailey to get you into bed…” She chuckled at Maya’s smirk. “...but you have not told me why you pinched.”

“For taking the blame for us getting a bit over excited when I started it, and the way I see it, it’s a good thing you’re a doctor, and a you sort of doctor specifically.”

“Oh?”

“You understand what I can do better than anyone...and are the only one I want to do it with.”

“Ah…” Carina caught hold of Maya’s left hand when she realised where it was wandering, having managed to remember to pull Maya’s cell phone out of her back pocket so she didn’t take it with her to her meeting. “...bella…” she warned, her body’s instinctive response making her voice sound lower, like it was growling. “...I do still have my meeting at some point…”

“Sorry…” Maya let Carina move their hands back to resting on Maya’s left hip, grinning sheepishly. “I’ll try not to overstimulate you then.”

“Impossibile.” Carina leaned in and kissed her girlfriend’s amused lips. “But I appreciate the attempt.” She laughed when Maya crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out, which was a decidedly non-amorous look. “Shall we watch the other puppy video now?”

“You have time?”

“Si…” Carina extracted her hand and reached behind her again, retrieving Maya’s phone. “...then after that you will rest for a bit?”

“Yeah…” Maya stifled a yawn, a nap actually didn’t sound such a bad idea after all, and she had been rather busy today compared to the last few. “...but puppies first.”


	41. Chapter 41

“...can’t believe how much they’ve grown…” said Maya after Carina had finished scrolling through the photos they’d been sent, leaving them just the video of the puppies exploring the space they were sharing with their foster dog ‘mom’.

“Si, and they will keep on growing now they have opened their eyes...here…” Carina passed her the phone and shuffled so she was comfortable again as Maya pressed play. “...they are starting to look like little dogs now…”

“The green band one is definitely getting the upper paw…” Maya remembered they’d worked out when they watched the other video that the little puppy who had been the less active, sleepier puppy when they’d been looking after them at the Station was now the one with the bolder tendencies.

“Si, she is turning out to be more like you maybe…” teased Carina, watching as the yellow band wearing puppy seemed to be content having a nice big stretch and yawn. “...ah, that is my influence maybe…”

“Is that…” Maya paused the video with her thumb so she could look at what the ‘green’ puppy was now trying to play a one-puppy game of tug-of-war with.

“One of your shirts? Si.” Carina tapped the screen to start the video playing again. “...oh.”

“That’s your influence,” teased Maya, smiling as the little puppy, who had managed to somehow work her way into the sleeve of Maya’s uniform shirt that was clearly still just about scented with either her or Carina, had been trying to drag the whole garment out from under the foster dog, who was lying on a part of it. However, she had only had limited success, because after a particularly determined scramble forwards, the front had worked loose from under the larger dog, but the rest of the shirt hadn’t moved, and the puppy did a sort of forward somersault away from the foster dog, getting tangled up in the sleeve. Clearly at this point whoever was recording the puppies had to pause the recording while they reached in and helped the puppy untangle herself. “Always trying to get me out of my work shirt.” Maya glanced down at herself, with her current disarrayed state proving her point. “Actually, could you help me out? Since we’re trying to be good…”

“Ah, si.” Carina sat up so she could fasten Maya’s shirt, knowing Maya could now do it one and a bit handed if she’d needed to, but glad to be able to do this small thing for her girlfriend. “I also now understand the other messages…” She reached into her pocket for her phone, finding the messages that they’d both been sent along with the videos. “They had to cut the buttons off the shirt I had been wearing as those could be choking hazards for the puppies, but the one you had worn sometime was the one with the poppers so was fine for them. They put the shirts in alongside the big dog a little each day so they can learn the smells of us are positive...that tumble was because the big dog had moved trapping the shirt under her but when the puppy pulled the poppers gave out.” Carina looked at Maya. “I always mean to ask, why do some of your shirts have buttons and some have the poppers?”

“Just two different designs, the button ones used to be better if I wasn’t wearing the t-shirt underneath.” Maya smirked at Carina’s confused expression. “Before the latest redesign, the popper ones had a habit of unpopping...guess unisex kit has its drawbacks.”

“Ah, the chest.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t just the women, I mean a lot of the guys were having a problem too. Then a couple of years ago they got a new supplier and the sizing somehow worked a bit better...all my new shirts have poppers, but I kept my button ones…” She looked back at the video. “...or at least, still have one of my button ones left. Don’t think I’m getting those back, am I?”

“I am sure we can think of something else…” Carina hadn’t thought about how Maya’s uniform might not survive the puppies playing with it.

“It’s fine…” Maya looked thoughtful for a moment. “I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be wearing it much myself in the next few weeks...and the station’s already going to have blown its kit budget if I need a full replacement of bunker gear.” She looked at Carina, finally now able to address the one thing she’d not yet had the confidence to directly raise, even with herself. “I guess I’m not going to be allowed on desk duty next week?”

“No…” Carina turned around on the bed so she was lying down on her side next to Maya again, her head propped up on her elbow. “...with the ribs and collarbone on your right side, I do not think Teddy and Link will agree to desk duty until those are healed as a minimum.” A new thought occurred to her, prompting her to check something. “You are very, very right handed at work?”

“Yeah.” They’d had the ‘how ambidextrous are you’ competition early on in the relationship, with Carina having a very high degree of fine motor control skill with both hands not to anyone’s surprise, while Maya was much more right hand dominant, though she did surprise Carina with how much strength she still had in her left arm despite the bias towards her right hand all the time, because of how much lifting and bracing they had to do with their ‘weak’ side as firefighters. Still, while Carina could brush her hair equally easily with either hand, with or without a mirror, Maya struggled to brush her hair with her left hand, which was going to be a bit of a frustration that would need overcoming somehow in the next few weeks. “Not being able to use my right arm is going to make everything extra odd.”

“That will possibly make them extra cautious with you then bella,” said Carina carefully, recognising they were tiptoeing through delicate ground for the first time.

“Because if I pop my ribs again I can’t be a firefighter?” That was something Maya did understand, and was also proof that while she may often stumble into an idiotic choice, she wasn’t an idiot.

“Possibly. Although as each week of healing happens that risk will reduce as the bones get stronger. But I think…” 

Carina studied her girlfriend, trying to assess whether she was in the right headspace for Carina sharing her insight as a ‘doctor who knew stuff’ or if she needed to stick exclusively to supportive girlfriend. Seeing the clear eyed, if slightly sleepy, look of interest and curiosity directed at her, waiting for her to continue, Carina went with ‘doctor who knew stuff and loves you’. 

“...if you were my patient, I would be looking at you and thinking it is a balancing game between letting you have some movement in your shoulder as the bones heal to help the muscles and ligaments and being worried about you doing too much, and so I would look at you in your work environment and, I think, decide you needed to be strapped up because…” Carina paused, trying to find the words she wanted to explain what she meant. “...if you were only at home, you could overwork the arm and shoulder making your lunch, having a shower, maybe changing the bedding. Which would be bad for you,” she added promptly, making sure Maya didn’t misunderstand her example. “But at the Station, in a similar mood of needing to feel useful, you could be making a meal for the whole shift, or tidying some hoses and going to the gym and…”

“...I could really mess things up fast without noticing I was doing it…” worked out Maya, seeing Carina’s point. “And the best way to recover is to have a mixture of immobilisation and careful movement?”

“For many things yes. Remember bella, I am not Teddy or Link though.” She thought for a moment, translating the problem into a hypothetical patient who happened to be a firefighter needing her surgical assistance. “But si, if I had a firefighter who wanted to go back to work after I had operated on her abdomen? I would be very concerned about how much pressure that was putting on her discipline and control to remember the limits I set her, and would hope she could have a few weeks of recovery time before going back into that situation, where she could be in an environment that made it easier to take advantage of the small opportunities to test her body without requiring too much strength to avoid the big disasters. But I know it is not always possible with the rules here.” 

Carina had taken a long time to adjust to the idea that ‘sick days’ were something that were accumulated and saved, like vacation days, compared to the European approach where you went to work if you were well, and if you were unwell, you did not. She still struggled sometimes when it came to trying to manage her patients’ expectations about their recovery plans and timelines, but was now able to put together plans for the most standard of cases without experiencing shock and despair at least.

“The Chief? He said something to me that I can’t get out of my head.”

“Oh?” Carina willed herself to not react yet, to remember that ‘the Chief’ to Maya was George Sato, the thoughtful, kind man who out of nowhere had quietly become the mentor her girlfriend needed, in firefighting, captaining and some of the parts of ‘family’ membership that not only had Maya missed out on from her own life, but Carina had missed too. “When?”

“When you were telling the Mayor some home truths…” joked Maya, making a small amused noise when she heard Carina groan. “...he said that if I rushed back now I’d struggle to still be Captain when I was fifty...but if I took the time I needed now, time no one was fighting me about, then I’d have Chief on my helmet by fifty, and it wouldn’t be Battalion Chief.”

“Ah.” That, though Carina, explained why this conversation hadn’t happened sooner, with his observation providing food for Maya’s thoughts to feed on for a day or two.

“That’s sort of what you’re saying too, isn’t it?”

“I only know about muscles and bones bella, not Captains and Chiefs...but si.” It was Carina’s turn to look thoughtful. “Can I ask you a running question? I mean, a question about you and running?”

“Umm…” That wasn’t what Maya had expected, but with Carina tracing gentle patterns on her tummy near her hip, looking at her like that? She could pretty much ask her anything. “...sure.”

“Naomi Climpson, she said when you were showing her your spikes, that she ran everything up to 5k at school but when she was at the same trials as you it was only a couple of distances?”

“Yeah…” Maya remembered the conversation, which felt like a lifetime ago but she knew had to be less than a week ago given their earlier discussions about the ages of the puppies. “I was the same at school.”

“So how do you end up running the longer distance not the shorter ones? If you are quick you are quick no? And you had a fast finish...”

“How did you…” Maya’s eyes narrowed. “...did you google me?”

“Si. With Mason and Andrea while we waited for you to wake up again here after the big surgery...after Andrea made me laugh at Travis’ cartoon fire engines. It was Mason who made us think to do it, he said something, I cannot remember what it was now, but he could not believe we did not know how ‘amazing you were’ and made us look things up and learn about you before the Olympics.” At the time, she’d wondered why he hadn’t started with the Olympics but was too exhausted and worried to ask, whereas now she understood why he’d not gone anywhere near the videos and reports about that race. “I did not need to look up your running times to see how amazing you were bella, but I did not know how quick you are.”

“Were. I haven’t run those times in years...” Maya made a mental note to ask Mason what he’d shown them another time, a little bit surprised he’d even brought it up, but also knowing that she would never really know what it had been like for everyone else, Carina especially, in that first 24 hour period after the shots were fired, 24 hours that Maya only had a very patchy memory of.

“You are still very quick. You were very quick coming to the Station for me last week and Andrea says the people at his gym hate him for making you run on their treadmill? You have taken the best time?”

“It’s his own fault…” sighed Maya, remembering how she had agreed to go with him to his gym the first few times after he had come home from his treatment, wanting to start to get back in shape and having some sort of routine, but needing someone to go with him so he didn’t have to talk to anyone or ask for any help with spotting or things like that. 

It had been a bit of a begrudging request originally. Carina had refused to go with him because she wouldn’t lift the weights or use the machines like he did, so she would just be standing next to him while he worked out which rather defeated the point of having someone with him. But she’d then helpfully, so she thought but it had taken him a while to agree with her, pointed out that Maya could go with him, knew what she was doing with all the equipment so could be useful when he needed help but otherwise would just work out too. It took, for him to finally even consider Maya as an option, Carina adding that her girlfriend absolutely hated people trying to talk to her while she was working out so the last thing she’d be wanting to do was try and make Andrea participate in conversation. 

So, mostly for Carina’s sake, Andrew had asked and Maya had agreed, and she’d gone to his gym twice a week with him the first three weeks he was home, working out well within her limits so for her it was more like the gym equivalent of a gentle jog rather than a proper work out. Still, it meant she could keep an eye on how he was doing, hadn’t needed to worry about whether or not she’d had a heavy shift if he wanted to go on the morning she was just finishing rather than a day she was off, and didn’t stick out from the other gym users who weren’t used to shorter women lifting heavy weight with ease. And for those first three weeks her plan had worked and he hadn’t noticed she was holding back, but the fourth week, he’d started to get some of his confidence back, and had started to pay attention to what she was doing and began to try and goad her into competitions...which she’d mostly been able to sidestep because realistically, her versus him in weights was not going to be a fair contest for him since she could do the same weights he was doing - having first added extra weight first to the lifts to replicate her kit weight...but he’d took her sidestepping to be that she didn’t want to lose to him.

“Si?”

“I managed to dodge his attempts to have competitions with me the first four weeks. I wouldn’t ever do a weights competition with him…”

“Because he asks you to lift 20kg and you have first put the weight of your equipment so would be already that much ahead of him?”

“Yeah...but also I was going with him to help him get some confidence, not…”

“Crush him like a pinata?” Carina laughed at the shocked expression her response caused. “I overheard Vic saying it to Travis a few weeks ago when I visited the Station, it is right?”

“Yeah, it’s right and yeah, I wasn’t going to  _ crush him like a pinata _ so kept avoiding his challenges. But the fifth week I went with him, he remembered I was supposed to be a  _ bit good at running  _ and decided that meant we should race on the treadmills.”

“He said you’d refused any other competitions with him.”

“He told you about this?”

“A little, but I want to hear your version.” This wasn’t why Carina had brought up running, that was because she wanted to see if she could get her girlfriend to see the literal difference between marathons and sprints and then apply it to her recovery, but this was a fun detour that now she’d remembered it, Carina wanted to hear about. “He did admit he now knows he was stupido to try and compete with you on anything except eating pasta, cannoli and anything sweet.”

“He’s not admitted that to me yet…” joked Maya, making a mental note to revisit the whole competitive gym session challenge with him at some point - seemed like in the next few weeks and months there might be a more level playing field for them. “...but yeah, I’d managed to avoid doing actual head to heads with him on things like pull ups or weights on the machines...he decided early on that it wasn’t fair asking little female me to match his levels without some sort of adjustment for his giant maleness and I…”

“Forgot to mention that you compete in the gym at the station against the boys all the time and that compared to Robert and Dean my little brother is piccolo?”

“Yeah.” Maya grinned at the memory. “He’s not so bad now.” She’d gone to the gym a few more times since then, and had him work out with her at the Station gym a few times and he was now not quite as  _ piccolo  _ as he had been.

“Could he do your staircase climb thing in the backpack with the extra weight you were telling me about?”

“Your brother?” Maya thought for less than a second. “No.”

“Then Andrea is still piccolo,” declared Carina triumphantly, exercising the older sister’s right to condemn the younger brother without opportunity to mount a defence.

“Anyway…” Maya’s grin and eyeroll was quickly followed by the older sister’s smirk of solidarity, knowing better than to try and debate Carina’s verdict if she wanted kisses in the near future. Plus Maya really wasn’t remotely interested in the younger Dr A DeLuca’s physical prowess beyond that needed to keep her on favourable physical terms with the elder, sexier Dr C DeLuca. “...he decided since I was apparently a bit good at running I had no excuse and said we were to have a treadmill contest. I let him pick the distance and he went for 5k.” Maya also didn’t want to dwell on the fact that right now she couldn’t do the ‘staircase climb thing in the backpack with the extra weight’ either.

“That is a short run for you.”

“It’s a good distance for a treadmill run,” corrected Maya, knowing what Carina meant. “I mean yeah, on my days off when I go for a long run through the park I’d run 10 miles, 16k for you Europeans…” she teased, anticipating her girlfriend’s inevitable question. “...but that’s not a racing sort of run? That’s just going at a sort of jog.” Maya’s definition of a ‘jog’ was somewhat at odds with the rest of Station 19’s opinions on the subject, most loudly expressed by Vic. “This was...he wanted to make this a race...so I  _ ran.. _ which is easy to do on a treadmill because you just set the speed and go. _ ”  _ It was easy if you were Maya, who automatically thought in stride cadences and split times after a literal lifetime of thinking like that. Everyone else? They never ran at a comfortable speed on a treadmill and always felt like they were about to fall off at any second.

“And you set the speed and went?”

“Kinda...he offered to set the treadmill up the way he liked it, after I said I didn’t do much running on treadmills…”

“He did not tell me that part!” Carina’s grin was infectious, and she was already composing several text messages to send to her brother in very expressive Italian pointing out all the ways he had fallen into the very cliched chauvinistic Italian male stereotype. “What did you think of his set up?”

“Rather slow…” Maya’s grin became a smirk. “...after the first thousand metres I said it was interesting to see how he ran but I needed to change it. I think he thought I was admitting defeat…”

“Cazzo…” sighed Carina, mentally rewriting the text messages to include some rather ruder Italian. “...you meant speeding it up?”

“Well yeah.” Maya had the decency to look sheepish. “Only a bit because I wanted to be able to run home straight after so I saw you before you went to shift.”

“Does he know that?”

“What? That I wanted to make out with his sister before she went to work?”

“No, that you had another run planned and had already done your shift.”

“No. And don’t tell him? He’s…” Maya winced. “...not very good at running.”

“No? But he makes so much noise…”

“Yeah. I mean, for a guy who tries to stay in shape he’s alright I guess, but at a running club?” Maya winced even more. “I think at the time I ended up setting a treadmill record or something...I’d not been thinking about that, as I knew it was about two miles home, so set my pace for the 4k on the treadmill so I had enough left to do that at my normal road pace after a gym workout at the Station after shift.”

“Which means if you were to actually race Andrea properly outdoors when you had not done your shift first and were not running almost the same again home you would beat him by a lot?”

“The longer the distance yeah.” Maya had, while she’d been telling Carina about racing Andrew, been trying to remember why they were even talking about running in the first place. “Oh, right, which was your original question.”

“Ah, si. Why did you race at the Olympics over the very long distance but at school and State you ran the shorter ones too?”

“You looked up my State times?”

“Si, your brother was very good at finding you in the race results for us. But that is not an answer bella…” nudged Carina, changing the swirling pattern she was drawing on Maya’s hip to more of a stroke, knowing Maya was getting sleepy again which was also good as Carina did not want to leave a wide awake Maya on her own just yet.

“Umm, so it is something you sort of work out based on the last couple of laps of the race.”

“Even when the race is twenty five laps?”

“Yeah…” Maya was surprised by a yawn. “...so when you start the last lap of your race, they ring a bell so you know it’s the final one.”

“In case you lose count?”

“Kinda...the most basic tactic running a race is run all the laps the same speed and then when you hear the bell you run faster and try to finish running as fast as you can.”

“The sprint finish?”

“Yeah. A slightly better tactic is when you attack before the bell, so you start speeding up in the last lap or two before you hear the bell so you are already nearly at the fastest speed you can run the last lap at as you hear the bell.”

“You are ahead of everyone who might have lost count because you were going faster sooner?”

“Something like that,” agreed Maya, deciding she was sleepy enough not to go back and fill in the minor details Carina hadn’t picked up. “That last lap time isn’t really going to change for you as the distance gets shorter, because your speed…” she yawned again. “...is your speed. So my best time over the last 800m of a 10k was not very different to my best time over the last 800m of a 5k and wasn’t very different to my best 800m time...and compared to an 800m runner at that level it’s quite slow.” She yawned again.

Carina thought about that for a moment as she shuffled position, trying not to jostle Maya into becoming too awake again.

“Ah, so at school and State you were a fast 800m runner and stayed a fast 800m runner no matter how many laps you jogged first. But by the time you get to the Olympics, your 800m time is only really fast if you have first run 9.2km first? And that is how you won the medal? Because when everyone has run that distance and it becomes an 800m race you are now the fastest?”

“I was pretty fast for the first 9k so I was not too far from the front, which also helps…” protested Maya, delighted nevertheless at how willing her girlfriend was to try and understand the parts of Maya’s life which were so alien to her own, so not bothering to challenge Carina’s use of the word ‘jog’, especially considering she didn’t really do running, preferring swimming. “...but pretty much, yeah. My 800m time was fairly constant no matter how far I ran first, and at 10k total race distance it became an Olympic gold medal time.” She yawned and blinked. “How did we start talking about this?”

“Because bella…” said Carina, her voice full of affection as she shuffled down the bed a bit so she was as close to being ‘snuggled’ into Maya’s side as she dared given her girlfriend’s injuries and the fact that Carina really did want to go to some of the Heads of Department meeting and see what it was going to be like here in America. “...it takes a strong, clever and patient person to wait 23 laps and then run their 800m race that wins the Gold Medal.”

“And a lot of training and self-discipline…” added Maya, not seeing Carina’s point but too sleepy to argue, plus Carina was smart, really smart and wouldn’t be saying this if she didn’t think it was important, so Maya willed herself to pay attention to Carina…. _ eyes on me... _ that was it, eyes on Carina, nothing and no one else. “...in the 23 laps before the last two, but also to get to the start line.”

“Why do you go onto the start line knowing there are 23 laps to count through before you run your 800m race bella?” Carina’s swirls had turned into ovals, like the race track that she was making a private vow to get her girlfriend running on again, in spikes with her initials on the bottom of the soles...how had Mason described it?  _ With her just running, like she was on springs, just running because it was fun… _ Carina wanted to see that, she loved seeing Maya when she was having fun, loved making it possible for Maya to have fun, something that she’d learned during their time back together since their reconciliation hadn’t been all that present in her girlfriend’s life at times.

“Because that’s what is needed for my 800m time to win an Olympic Gold Medal...” Maya remembered mentioning what Chief Sato had said. “...but I have the gold medal now, I’m a fire captain, I want to be fire chief one day…”

“Si bella.” Carina kissed her confused and sleepy girlfriend’s shoulder. “That is my point, and Chief Sato’s point I think too.”

“I don’t understand…” Maya yawned again, then looked at Carina, puzzled.

“To win your medal in 2012 you were at National Trials in 2009 and 2010, you told Naomi that.”

“Yeah.”

“So you already knew 3 years before your Final that your 800m time was best if you had already run 23 laps first.”

“Yeah...been doing 3k and up only since 07…” mumbled Maya, “...haven’t done a block start since I was in 10th Grade, uh, 16 or 17.” She blinked again, starting to fight her sleepiness a little bit, curious now to see why Carina wanted to know this. “Kinda missed them, they were fun...” She grinned. “Amelia would like them.”

“Amelia?” Carina couldn’t picture Amelia as a runner. “She does not run.”

“I mean she would like me doing them…” Maya tensed her left arm muscles, something Carina felt as she was pressed up against her girlfriend’s arm.

“But only I get to squeeze…” grinned Carina, enjoying her girlfriend’s sleepy sense of humour and dutifully giving her bicep a playful squeeze….and making a mental note that she definitely wanted to see her doing these ‘block starts’. “What if instead of your best distance to make your 800m time a Gold Medal, it was your last rank in your last year as a very old lady firefighter?”

“Huh? Say that again more slowly…”

“Your 800m time got you a Gold Medal if you…”

“...ran 10k, yeah. What do you mean about my last year as a firefighter?”

“Think about you in hundreds of years time as a very old lady firefighter…” teased Carina, making her point deliberately silly to compensate for Maya’s sleepiness.

“Twenty is plenty, but ok...twenty years time I’m a very old lady firefighter doing my last year before we have a very sex filled retirement together with lots of Italian sunshine.”

“Si, that is a good plan…” Carina risked snuggling a little more into Maya at this lovely idea that Maya had mentioned before and Carina had loved her for then, and loved her for all over again now. “...what is the rank you see you having as you do your last shift before we have our sunny, sexy retirement bella?”

“Chief? Deputy Chief if I decide to do the specialism stuff instead maybe?”

“Bene, that is your race distance bella for your next medal.”

“O...k…but what does that have to do with not asking if I can be on desk duty next week?”

“You remembered?”

“Yeah, well…” Maya smirked. “...you’re not naked so I still remember stuff.”

“BELLA!” Carina almost elbowed her girlfriend as she let out a peal of joyful laughter but caught herself in time and instead just lightly prodded a still very strong left thigh.

“It’s true though…”

“Si, you are very good at paying attention to me…” Carina turned herself back onto her hip and propped her head up on her elbow, becoming serious. “I know you let people joke about you needing to be always moving and are full of energy and everyone is worried that you are going to try to go back to work before giving yourself a chance to heal…” She stroked the frown lines appearing on her girlfriend’s forehead with a gentle fingertip that continued down to lightly tap the tip of Maya’s nose, making the frown turn into a shy smile. “...but I also know that you are smart, patient, strong and clever, who spent at least three years perfecting her ability to run 23 laps and still be near the front so her 800m time won her a gold medal in her Olympic Final. No one else did that, not that man, not a voice, only you.” She realised she’d gained the final part of that particular puzzle in the last few days: a part she hadn’t known she was missing. “Because a few laps into the race you laughed and  _ just ran  _ si?”

“Si...I mean yes.” Maya looked thoughtfully at Carina, lifting up her left hand and carefully tucking some loose strands of hair behind her girlfriend’s ear as she puzzled her way through everything Carina had carefully nudged to the front of her thoughts. “Are you saying that I approach recovery like training? That getting back to 19 for a roster of full shifts as Captain is...like making the time for nationals? A step? Not the race that I win the medal I really want?”

“Si.” Carina ran her fingertip down Maya’s nose again, mirroring her reflex smile. “And not just me bella, Chief Sato is too.”

“Huh.” 

“But it is also part of your ‘race’ to being Fire Chief...your 23 laps before the 800m?”

“Not 23, the first six.” Something clicked for Maya in that moment, with what Carina was trying to get her to see combining with the first things Dr Lewis had said to her, about learning to rest and love and live outside of just a single-minded objective.

“Six?” Carina hadn’t expected Maya to be so specific or so decisive so quickly. “Why six?”

“Because as I started the seventh I laughed and just ran…” Maya’s expression lost all hints of confusion and pensiveness, feeling a clarity starting to form as thoughts arranged and rearranged themselves into better orders. “Is Link at your meeting?”

“Si…”

“Do you think he could properly fix my ankle? Not just check that the bullet they found in my boot didn’t cause new problems?”

“Fix your ankle as in surgery?” checked Carina, taking care to keep her expression calm and open, letting Maya take the lead.

“Yeah, whatever it takes to get it as good as it can be...and do you think Teddy and Bailey and your friend Addison would let him do it now?”

“Now as in…”

“Not this evening, but like now while I’m already in a mess and needing to be really careful at not doing more than I can cope with? I mean, if I’m going to do Olympic Medal winning rest and recovery programme, I might as well get everything rested and recovered, right?”

“Si, I am certain that Link, Teddy, Bailey and Addison can come up with a plan that makes sure everything gets fully recovered if you agree to do the resting part properly.”

“If the Chief can help with a plan that ensures 19 don’t suffer, I’d like to do that…” Maya nodded, feeling the good fizz of a plan and an objective to work towards, not afraid of hard work and commitment but also now able to understand that rest and being still wasn’t failure or giving up or any of that crap  _ he _ threw at her. “...and get back to being able to do a full roster of shifts as Captain at 19 and then…” She smiled Carina’s favourite smile, the impish smile that lit up her face and made Carina think of al fresco lunches in the warmth of the Italian sunshine before lazy afternoon love-making instead of a siesta sleep and dinner under the stars...it was a smile that made Carina feel the peace and calm she associated with  _ home _ ...which as a place was Sicily not Seattle...but it was also now a feeling and a person...it was love, a love that she only had with Maya. “...if it’s ok with you, I’d just like to see what happens after that before we get to the sunny, sexy retirement part?”

“Si...va bene bellissima…I like that plan a lot.”

“I’m going to be an idiot…”

“Si.” Carina had learned these last couple of days that trying to debate that point with Maya was counterproductive, so she’d started to accept it but making it clear she was considering it an affectionate joke she was agreeing with rather than accepting a serious factual statement, "but you have your new strategy…” Maya nodded, recalling explaining her new strategy to Carina about trying to compare what she would want Carina to be doing if their situation was reversed with what the team would expect her to do as part of trying to make the good choice. “...and we can always get the puppies to decide if we are both being idiote.”

“Mmm….I…” Maya interrupted herself with a yawn. “...love you.”

“Ti amo bella...dormirai per me?”

“Bac…” Maya’s attempt to ask Carina for a kiss were lost in another sleepy yawn, but it was enough for Carina to know what she was asking.

“Si…” Carina leaned forwards and gently captured Maya’s lips in a careful kiss, allowing herself to risk leaning in sufficiently far that she could run her fingers through blonde hair before bracing herself with her hand on the bed. She was horribly unstable in this position, but couldn’t help herself, wanting to lavish lazy affection on her brilliant, beautiful, broken but healing love. “...ah…” She felt Maya’s hand exploring her waist, investigating for a way to find skin instead of flannel or denim and somehow managed to find some emotional and physical strength within herself to pull back from the kiss before she lost control of things. “...pouting will not make me forget it was your hand that was wandering bella…” she teased, nevertheless leaning in and kissing Maya’s jaw, which she could reach without leaning over too far. “...and you are very sleepy now, so please, rest your eyes for me?”

“M’kay…” 

Maya’s sleepy agreement to close her eyes, a somewhat goofy grin gracing slightly kiss-swollen lips, was the hardest test of Carina’s willpower - it would be so easy to just stay lying here with Maya and forget she was, despite her past experience, nervous of becoming the Head of Department and anxious about how she would find it all, how she would find it affected her friendships when she went from being the outsider welcomed by the tight-knit group of Department Heads to one of the Department Heads, involved not just as a doctor on some of their cases, but with the inevitable hospital politics. And that was before she even thought about the nurses and the midwives and the pharmacy and…

“...you’re still here…” mumbled Maya, opening one eye and squinting across the pillow at her girlfriend.

“Si, I am still here…” sighed Carina, knowing she needed to go like she said she would, that not going after asking to be there was worse than never asking to go in the first place.

“You know who Ging...Rogers is?” mumbled Maya, closing her eye and opening it again, doing a one-eye-only blink realised Carina as she tried to untangle her girlfriend’s mumbling.

“Ginger Rogers, the...Hollywood actress in the films with the tap dancing? Si! Of course!”

“You know the say’n?”

“No…” 

Carina had managed to force herself to sit up, preparing to go to the meeting now she remembered it was where there would be a cup of the good coffee from the cart outside the main entrance to the hospital, but curious to know what this half asleep insight from her girlfriend was, knowing from past experience it could be anything from nonsensical mangled song lyrics to extracts of the fire codes via compliments about how good her outfit was or a question about when Maya’s current favourite from Carina’s underwear choices was next going to be worn. Sometimes though, it was a completely random fact or statement that somehow managed to skewer all of Carina’s nerves and make everything she was worried about just disappear. 

“...I only know some of her movies with the guy, umm, Astaire?”

“Fred Astaire…” Maya licked her lips, finding her mouth was a bit dry, prompting her to blink both eyes open as she tried to moisten her mouth so talking was a bit easier. “An’ sure, he was great, but she did everythin’ he did backwards and in high heels.”

“Ginger Rogers...she did everything he did backwards and in high heels?” repeated Carina, picturing the black and white movie dance routines she’d seen on the television when the songs had just been shown in English, without any dubbing, looking for any clues from Maya that she’d not got the English right, but the sleepy smile told her she had it correct...now to just work out why her girlfriend was wanting her to think about it. “She did everything he did...backwards and in high heels…” She frowned, then started to look less confused again. “That is harder for her than for him yes?”

“Yeah, that’s the point…” Maya yawned, waking herself up enough to make her point. “Amelia, Teddy, Bailey...they’re all Freds but you’re Ginger.” She saw Carina frown, like she looked when Maya had just used an idiom she’d not come across before. “You think you don’t know if you’ll be as good as them because this isn’t Italy…” She grinned, amusing herself with the mental image she’d just given herself. “...but here they’re Fred, you’re like Ginger, doing…”

“...it the harder way because this isn’t Italy and I have all these new American things to learn again…”

“Yeah...and more beautiful.” Maya yawned again, but this time it was the sort of yawn that tipped her from awake to asleep with her eyes open, starting to think that as glorious as her girlfriend would look in those floaty, swirly dresses she remembered seeing in those films her mother liked, Carina would look spectacularly devastatingly sexily hot in the white tie and tails as well...which was not a look she’d ever thought about before...and then she decided it didn’t matter how she thought about her girlfriend, her beautiful, brilliant, super-hot, sexy Italian genius doctor of a girlfriend...

“Thank you bella…” 

Carina leaned in and kissed the crinkled bridge of her girlfriend’s nose, the gentle touch smoothing away whatever thought had stuck there as Maya fell asleep. Making sure the call button and her cell phone were in easy reach of her right and left hands respectively like she’d become used to these last couple of days, Carina drew the sheet up so it covered her girlfriend’s bare legs so the air currents in the room didn’t disturb her, then, after making sure she had her own phone she slipped quietly from the room. 

Knowing Maya’s phone was on silent, she sent her a text message reminding her she’d gone to her meeting for when she woke up, Carina stopped by the nurses’ station to let them know Maya was on her own but sleeping, then headed for her first moment as Head of the OBGYN Department, her head spinning with thoughts about that, about Maya’s adventure down to see her brother’s wall, about her coming to terms with her recovery pacing and volunteering that she wanted to get her ankle sorted…

...and then her head stopped spinning and her thoughts settled on one single thought...one single image in her mind, of a sleepy blonde with an impish smile that made her feel warm and light and loved...a smile that she wanted to see everyday now and when they were both very old ladies, enjoying their sunny, sexy retirement wherever they wanted that to be. With that image to hang onto, she could go to her meeting and it would all be fine with her friends and afterwards she would tell Maya about how it was the same but different and ask all sorts of questions about why America was so weird compared to Italy...and maybe they would go for an evening stroll around Teddy’s ward while she listened to Maya trying to make her believe Italy was the weird place and America the normal place...and somehow? After this craziest of days? That was probably the closest to a perfect end she could ask for…

...especially if she made Andrea pay his penance for not telling her the whole gym story by bringing her some good dinner from the Italian restaurant by his place.

Her stomach ‘sang’ its approval of that plan as she called the elevator, hitting the call button on her phone for her brother.

“Andrea? Si, Maya sta bene ... ha camminato oggi ... ma ho fame e so che non mi hai raccontato tutta la storia della gara che hai fatto con lei... sì, e lo so ora così puoi portarmi la cena? Perché? Perché ami la sorella che ora è a capo del suo dipartimento? Sì...e Mason per favore...si…grazie...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Andrea? Si, Maya sta bene ... ha camminato oggi ... ma ho fame e so che non mi hai raccontato tutta la storia della gara che hai fatto con lei... sì, e lo so ora così puoi portarmi la cena? Perché? Perché ami la sorella che ora è a capo del suo dipartimento? Sì...e Mason per favore...si…grazie...” - "Andrew? Yes Maya is fine ... she walked today ... but I'm hungry and I know you haven't told me the whole story of the race you did with her ... yes, and I know now so you can bring me dinner? Because? Because you love the sister who is now head of her department? Yes ... and Mason please ... yes ... thank you ... "
> 
> Apologies to any hardcore runners reading this - I am not a runner, never have been, never will be. But I've been lucky enough to know some very good runners and athletes generally, and the bit about your top speed being your top speed is roughly right. Random facts for you - Mo Farah, in the London 2012 10km race ran a 51second final lap. Yes, that's no where near men's gold medal 400m pace but it's a very competitive high school time and of course, rather impressive considering how far he'd already run. Also, not running, but cycling - Chris Hoy (multiple track sprint cycling golds at world and olympics) and Mark Cavendish (one of the most successful sprinters on the Tour de France) have similiar power outputs for their last 500m ish type sprints...but in interview Hoy admitted he'd got no idea how Cav does it after first cycling ridiculous distances first, while Cav admitted he would be beaten by Hoy if he wasn't allowed the rather long warm up lap first! So there is some proper sports logic in Maya and Carina's conversation here....albeit extremely oversimplified ;-)


	42. Chapter 42

“...e…” Carina considered the second page of the document she was skimming through, making a conscious effort to keep her face neutral as she read it. “...va bene…” She initialled the bottom of the second page and wrote a number, then signed the top of the first page and wrote the same number, handing it back to Nina, the OBGYN Chief Nurse. “The one month review pile please.”

“Thank you Dr DeLuca.” 

She looked relieved as she saw that her new boss had taken her concerns seriously, making a note on her tablet then passing the papers on to her friend Anna, who was the ex-secretary to Dr Lachman and now, only two hours in admittedly, already enjoying being Dr DeLuca’s secretary. So far, even the simple assurance that Anna would always know if someone was passing something to her that Dr DeLuca had taken an administrative decision about because it would have her signature on the top and her initials on the last page of the document, plus any page she had a concern or follow up about, was a massive improvement on before when she never knew what was happening. And something Dr DeLuca had started doing instinctively, so instinctively she’d had to stop and explain to the surprised administrator what her logic was when she saw Anna hadn’t immediately recognised what was, from the doctor’s perspective, an obvious and essential approach.

“Bene, show me your last one…” Carina held out her hand for the next thing that the experienced Chief Nurse was uncomfortable about, unsurprised that she had it already to hand. 

Carina had texted her last night wondering if she could come in this morning before her shift started and help Carina get herself a little bit more informed about the department overall, including the top seven things the Chief Nurse was worried about, big or small. She’d apologised for asking her at very short notice and with a request that they meet at a very early time in the morning, but Maya had taken the decision to have her ankle operated on by Link, which meant that Carina needed a distraction, plus she recognised it created an opportunity to focus on the department administration and operation for a couple of hours that might not come round as again for a couple of days while Maya recovered from this latest surgery. 

Nina, knowing that Carina had been seeing the Captain without needing the press conference confirmation, recalling seeing the Captain visiting sometimes, had been surprised that the Italian was even prepared to think about her new Department responsibilities at this time, nevermind start making plans, and had been unfazed about coming in for 7am - she’d have done it even if she wasn’t working later, but she had her shift starting at 12 that she’d start early once meeting with Carina finished. And so here she was, sitting on the edge of the Captain’s empty hospital bed next to her friend Anna for whom a 7am Sunday morning meeting at the hospital was a rather more extreme ask, but had been easily persuaded by her friend that this was the right thing to do, passing her seventh and final, biggest concern to her new boss.

“...si?” Carina’s eyebrows rose significantly just from seeing the heading. “But this is even higher than before…” She turned the page. “Mamma mia.” She scribbled her initials quickly on the bottom of the second page, turning back to the top of the first page and signing her name in full, adding the date and a big asterisk. “One week.” She said firmly, passing it directly to Anna. “Please ask…” She thought for a moment, “...si, please ask Yordell and Cruz to prepare a fifteen minute presentation with the comparative study of C-section and vaginal delivery rates comparing this department to US and global rates. They must also include the UK and Australia hospital rates with an emphasis on proportion of deliveries where there is Obstetrician attendance at the labour also. If they frown, you may give them the hint that the answer is not 100%.”

“Yordell and Cruz? They’re interns…”

“Si, so they should have open minds, access to online publications and speak Spanish, French and possibly some German, so are aware that non-English speaking countries are also in the 21st Century. Tell them I wish to hear them give the presentation at whatever time works for myself and either Bailey, Amelia Shepherd or Teddy Altman on…” She paused again to work out what today was, “...on Wednesday morning, and they will give it to the whole service in our meeting on Friday.”

“That’s…” Nina blinked, not expecting quite such decisive response from her new boss - she was pleased, because she was concerned about the trend that had got worse in the last six months, but had not felt it was something she could put on her new boss’ plate as a ‘must fix first’ priority, yet that was exactly what Dr DeLuca seemed to want to do.

“Oh, and it must include Nina, the Wednesday practice. They can know about Nina but do not tell them about the other Department Head.” Carina nodded, pleased with the plan, fed up with having so many unnecessary risks being taken with patients because of doctor ego and arrogance, glad she could finally, definitively do something about it. “Scusa Nina, I interrupted you.”

“I was going to ask why you wanted the extra Department Head Doctor? That’s...quite unusual.”

“Ah, well, we will become used to being quite unusual until the rest of them start to copy us and we become usual,” joked Carina, unphased by the question. “But in this instance it is deliberate. You and I can see these figures and understand from our experience in our speciality that this is a bad trend, because we understand that Americans have a...different attitude to vaginal delivery for history reasons, but it takes a perspective many do not have to try to change.” She leaned back in her chair, putting her pen down, stretching her hand which was a little out of practice at writing and signing documents. “But any Head of Department would like an extra three beds, because beds are useful and expensive and these rates? That is how many beds we are wasting.” Carina picked up her coffee and took a sip, seeing Anna was looking very confused and Nina was...showing less confidence than she had been. 

“A C-section requires four to five days in hospital before discharge, though we can say it is an average of three because some go home very quickly or arrive very early, but a vaginal delivery does not require so long to recover under our supervision and discharge is at most two days, so we can say it is an average of one. At 40% C-section, ten deliveries is twelve days in beds for the C-section patients and six days in bed for the others, eighteen days in total. If we move to 20% C-section, that number becomes six and eight which is fourteen in total and we get four days of empty beds…” She paused, seeing the light dawning for her new secretary’s face.

“...which you use for patients to have three vaginal deliveries, which is your three extra beds point?”

“Si. Now, that is just a simple example, and a little too simple because we have more than ten deliveries and many more patients than just obstetrics, but it is a start.”

“And it’s a start that one of those three Department Heads would…” Anna stumbled to a stop, realising what she wanted to say was perhaps not the most diplomatic given they were ultimately talking about bringing new life into the world.

“Kill for? Si, at least, elbow me very hard for the extra capacity, which is the point that I wish to have made by someone who is not from our speciality. Because any doctor who thinks it is right to take a higher risk, harder recovery procedure with a longer, more expensive hospital admission and push it onto patients for the doctor’s convenience?” She took another sip of her coffee. “That is not a doctor who will be working very long for me.” She also had a suspicion that there was a chance OBGYN was seen by some as an ‘easy’ way to surgical residency, and so was interested to test how the interns reacted when news broke that they had one of the ‘hospital giants’ from the headline grabbing surgical specialties or the Chief of Surgery also listening. But that was for Carina to know and everyone else to be...studied by her as she decided what to do with the department on another day. “Bene, you were going to give me something else to read?”

As Nina held out the next paper that provided some context for Carina to understand, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. “...hello?”

“Andy?” Carina looked towards the door, confused to see Andy in her uniform, followed by Emmett. “What are…”

“Where’s Maya?” asked Andy, caught completely off guard by there being no one in the patient bed she’d become accustomed to seeing Maya in, often with Carina alongside her, but instead see it being used as a table substitute for various files and papers.

“Surgery.” It took Carina a moment to connect the dots and see why her calmness was in such conflict with Andy’s reaction. “Mamma mia! It is…” She looked at her watch and tutted, seeing it was just after 8.30am. “...Sunday today and you are here to see Maya like she asked...scusa.” She put her coffee down on the bedside unit and stood up, going up to Andy and giving her a brief hug in greeting, trying to reassure her. “Maya in surgery is a good thing, and I am sorry, you are here because she asked you and Emmett to come at the start of your next shift, and we forgot last night when the surgery was organised that it was a schedule collision…”

“Clash.”

“Eh?”

“Schedules clash for some reason,” said Andy, starting to feel a little more at ease now she saw that Carina wasn’t using whatever this was as a distraction technique, but that whatever was seeing Maya be away in surgery right now was not something that was worrying Carina in the same way Andy knew a relapse or complication would cause. Also, there was something reassuringly familiar about there being time to detour into tweaking Carina’s latest Carina-ism.

“Si?” Carina looked at Anna with an amused smile, delighted to be able to make a point she’d suspected she needed to say but not sure how to. “In that case, please make sure that whatever is in my schedule is moved around to avoid any  _ clashes _ , and anything can be moved unless it is Maya, Andrea or something I tell you must not be moved.”

“Of course Dr DeLuca.” Anna felt her ears warm - she’d picked up on Dr DeLuca talking about schedule collisions but had gone with it, not feeling confident enough to correct her new boss’ English.

“Anna?”

“Yes Doctor?”

“You must tell me when I use the wrong word, si?” She saw her new secretary who was still seemingly rather nervous around her, look a little uncertain. “American idioms and preferences for particular words are not things I always make friends with easily, and it makes the patients nervous when I do not use them properly. Nina can tell you about the patient with the car keys in her fanny pack...and perhaps also help you see I am human?” she teased, wondering why she made her new secretary quite so nervous, suspecting it was possibly a legacy from Kate Lachman having the personality of an empty bedpan.

“That was…” Nina smirked, then looked at her friend. “...the day I learned Dr DeLuca’s not afraid to laugh.”

“Si, but…” Carina looked now at the four people who were in Maya’s hospital room, none of whom were Maya. “...Andy, did Ben not tell you?”

“Warren?” Andy looked at Emmett to see if he’d had any opportunity to talk to him, and saw him shake his head. “Oh, he’s on Aid Car with Hughes, they got a call during Line-Up.”

“Ah, bene. Then none of you know our news…” Carina mentally tossed a coin and decided to start with Maya’s news first. “...there was a big meeting last night and Maya went through all the options that Link had for her ankle, and after our walk she asked him to do the surgery option he offered which is the bigger surgery but will fix everything that is wrong with her ankle. The ORs are busy again from tomorrow but there was a slot early this morning and so Maya is in the OR now with Link having her ankle made good.”

“Walk?”

“Si, Maya went for two walks yesterday.” Carina’s smile was bright enough to light the whole ward and helped Andy’s shoulders untense significantly.

“That’s awesome,” said Emmett, grinning from ear to ear, ears that went bright red when he realised he’d spoken aloud and now had everyone looking at him.

“Si, it is huge progress, and not something she will do again until Tuesday, which was why we did the second one last night.”

“But if she was walking…”

“Why is she in surgery now?” Carina asked, seeing Andy’s nod. “The bullet that hit her ankle did not get through her boot so there was no trauma needing urgent fixing like how her collarbone or ribs were. And the very first scans did not show Link much that he could make sense of to fix in that first surgery based on her twisting as she fell.”

“But it was her weak one wasn’t it? The one that was already messed up?”

“Si, which is why Link did not see anything on the scans he could confidently improve with surgery in that first operation. But yesterday Maya had more scans and with the old scans and notes she also had for him, he could understand her ankle and is right now making it better for her.” 

When surgery was trauma related they would make big assumptions and decisions quickly, but the rest of the time? Good surgeons were, contrary to the stereotypes, not all that keen on rushing to operate on people until they had all the information they could, with great surgeons unafraid of then saying the best option for the patient was to not operate, if that was the case. Link, Carina did not know was well as Amelia and the others as a friend, but as a surgeon? She was relieved that her girlfriend’s problematic ankle was in the hands of a great surgeon who had not been afraid of being patient and asking lots of questions before presenting surgical options.

“Better as in not as weak?”

“For a firefighter or an Olympian it might still be a little weak, but for normal people Link expects it to not be weak any more.” Carina saw Andy still looked a little uncertain about seeing this as good news. “Maya admitted she had been afraid of surgery the first time because of the recovery period, but Link’s options were worked out with Teddy and we all think having the surgery on her ankle now only changes her recovery between now and Tuesday. The ankle recovery does not slow down the recovery timeline she already had. So this is a good thing Andy, I promise.” If Maya hadn’t had the surgery on Sunday morning, she’d be having walks every day, using the ankle strapping for a few weeks until the strains recovered enough to start strengthening her ankle. Now, after electing to have the surgery, Link didn’t want Maya walking on her ankle for the first two days, but then she could start walking with an air boot and in a few weeks the ankle would be recovered enough to start the next phase of rehab.

“She did mention, when we were at the Academy once, that she’d worried that ankle surgery would have meant her having to defer a year and she was glad she hadn’t had to…” Andy thought at the time it was her new friend being nice because it was around the same time Andy had first needed Maya’s coaching push, but now couldn’t help but wonder also how much of that was the faint early hint that she knew becoming a Firefighter brought her an element of space from a difficult family life and painful memories. “...but I had always wondered why she didn’t take the surgery, I mean, accepting a weak ankle when there was a way of fixing it didn’t really fit you know?”

“Si, she is…” Carina smirked, thinking of the lengths she had to go to get Maya to eat cream or chocolate sauce with strawberries. “...very good at being very disciplined and taking the decisions that keep her healthy and strong...but I am sorry we forgot you were coming and did not warn you both. Yesterday was...very busy with lots of changes for both of us.”

“Looks it, we’ll…” Andy caught Emmett’s eye and jerked her head towards the door, thinking it wasn’t surprising that Carina was having to try and find some time to do some of her work, only now consciously thinking about the impact her constant presence was having at Maya’s side for almost a full week might be having on her own job and patients. At least at the Station Andy and Jack could cover the urgent bits of the Captain’s workload, and Chief Sato was being a massive help too, but Andy guessed there wasn’t an OBGYN surgeon who could just magically appear to take over Carina’s patients.

“No, stay, that was not what I meant. This…” Carina waved in the direction of the bed and the two people she had only half introduced to the firefighters. “...is my attempt to get a head start on my new job.”

“New job? But you’re not…”

“Leaving? No, I am still here, but now I am the Head of the Department.”

“Wow, that’s…” Andy hadn’t been expecting that but stepped forwards and gave Carina a genuinely warm hug. “...not something Warren thought to share with us this morning in the one minute we saw him for. I didn’t know that was something that was planned? Maya didn’t say anything...” Andy, as soon as she said that, joined some dots, knowing how difficult her best friend found keeping her pride at Carina’s incredible achievements quiet, suggesting, “...because this wasn’t planned?”

“It was not, but…” Carina turned towards Anna and Nina, having a total blank on how it was being described, and knowing that she probably had to be careful to stick to a diplomatic official script for a few days at least. “...what did the email say? I think I am supposed to tell you the official version.”

“Oh, umm…” Anna prodded her tablet. “...Dr Lachman left the hospital yesterday and the Board are delighted that Dr Carina DeLuca accepted their invitation to be Head of the OBGYN Department with immediate effect alongside her research…then stuff about what the current temporary plans are and how everyone still follows them for now.” Those were the adjustments Bailey put in rapidly when Carina was just the only Attending in the department, with Nina doing all the essential operational decision making helped by Meredith Grey when it needed an Attending, while Julia handled all the clinical stuff, going to Bailey whenever there was something she was unsure about.

“Grazie.” Carina turned back to Andy. “It was Bailey I spoke with, not the Board, and she discovered Maya is not afraid of her when she is grumpy.” She shrugged, hoping Andy understood her unspoken message, that anything else she needed to get from someone who wasn’t Carina, at least for now, a message Andy understood loud and clear, being much better now at recognising ‘politics’ than she’d been a year ago.

“But it’s permanent? You’re not some Acting Head before someone else is brought in…” Andy’s experiences as Interim Captain made her somewhat suspicious of anyone appearing to get an automatica promotion without double checking.

“Si, it is permanent. I think you have already met Nina maybe?” Carina was trying to remember if Andy had come with Maya and Warren to Joe’s one of the times that they had a sort of combined Station 19 and hospital drinks.

“Yeah, we played darts I think?” said Andy, reaching out and shaking the nurse’s hand. “You beat me.”

“That’s...unusual, but good to meet you again Lieutenant Herrera.” Nina smiled at Andy’s look of surprise. “My memory for names is hopeless but your uniform’s nice and legible. I’m the OBGYN Chief Nurse, but…” She looked down at her jeans and fleece outfit. “...not in the pink scrubs yet today.”

“And this is Anna, the Department administrator.” Carina was taking a while to adjust to having a personal secretary again, having become accustomed to being the sole architect of her schedule, and the only one who could clear her email and paperwork backlog, so was not yet quite able to bring herself to think of Anna as ‘her’ secretary just yet. But it was still only day one.

“Nice to meet you Lieutenant.” Anna shared a look with Nina, the two friends exchanging a clearly understood look. “Dr DeLuca, we’re going to go and get you another coffee and some breakfast while you meet with the Lieutenant and Mr Dixon.”

“Grazie Anna, I…” She went to reach for some money from the bedside unit where she had moved her bag which by some ‘magic’ hand, probably Amelia or Andrea’s, had appeared from her office sometime on Wednesday.

“It’s fine Doctor, Lieutenant? Mr Dixon? Can we…”

“Oh thanks, but we’re fine,” assured Andy, Emmett nodding his agreement - even if they hadn’t had cereal and coffee straight after line up before they left the Station to come here, they’d have declined, knowing that they could be called at any moment.

“Bene…” Carina cleared some space on the bed by combining a couple of piles of files and putting them on the bedside unit so there was space for Andy and Emmett to sit if they wanted to. “...I am so sorry you were surprised like that…” she said, as she headed for the patient’s possessions cupboard on the far side of the room, hoping she’d remembered where the things Maya had wanted to give Emmett were.

“It’s fine, really, we can come back another time,” said Andy, not at all fazed, knowing it was a strange time for Maya and Carina with everything that was involved in Maya’s recovery without the added complication of Carina’s job change.

“Of course, I mean…” Carina looked over her shoulder, waving for Andy to sit down again, then finished taking out what she’d been looking for, finding Amelia had mixed them in with Maya’s uniform shirts and t-shirts when she’d unpacked the kit bag Chief Sato had brought on New Year’s Eve. “...Maya will be disappointed she missed you, but there is no reason for this to be a wasted visit.” She returned to the chair, carrying the two uniform shirts and a plastic wrapped piece of dark grey fabric. “As it is sort of my fault you are here.”

“Oh.” Andy glanced at Emmett, checking he was as confused she was. “Really?”

“Si. Emmett…” Carina directed most of her attention at him. “...you remember the talk we had on Christmas Day, in the kit room?”

“While I practiced hose drills with the Captain’s help? Yeah.” He turned to Andy. “I’d gone to try and practice what you’d shown me, and the Captain heard me still not getting it and was giving me some extra tips. When Dr DeLuca came looking for the Captain we were just finishing up and that’s when she talked to me about why she didn’t feel let down by only having me on Watch Duty not say you or Warren or the Captain.”

“Si. When we were walking home I started telling Maya about some of my classes when I was at Medical School - I think seeing you doing your drills and hearing Ben explaining ‘Probie’ was a bit like interns to me made my thoughts go that way. And yes, I know, you have that same look now you had then, wondering if there was a point to this long story.” She chuckled when she saw his ears go pink again. “I think you know my brother now understands he has a condition which he needs to manage, but that as long as it is managed properly he can continue being a brilliant doctor?” She saw him nod slowly, Andy nodding with more confidence. “He is the reason I decided to try to bring my research project to Seattle first rather than New York or Miami…”

“Not LA?” asked Andy, thinking if she had the choice of America to pick from she’d start her list there.

“No, that is the one place I would not go. It is, I think the phrase is not a big enough lake for two big fish?”

“Umm…” Andy was beaten to the solution by Emmett.

“Big fish in a small pond...you’re saying there’s already a ‘big fish’ there and LA’s not big enough for you both?”

“Exactly. Andy, you I think remember the name Addison Montgomery?”

“Yeah, Dad talked about her talking him through a difficult rescue just before I went to the Academy. Didn’t she move to LA?” Although Andy had started at the Academy at the same time as Maya, she had a slightly longer ‘history’ knowledge when it came to the hospital than her best friend.

“Si. She is another OBGYN, and she and I...we made a deal years ago that I would not move to her city in America and she would not move to Italy. Which was an easy deal for her to make because when she tries to speak Italian with me it ends up being very bad French and felt easy for me because she had just moved here from New York….but that is making the story even longer. Andrea’s condition is the same condition our father has, but unlike Andrea my father is not taking the treatment. When I was a medical student in my first year, my teachers knew my father also, knew he was not a well man, and should not be operating, but he was, is, a man with influential connections so they did not speak out. Because of those connections, they also were less hard on me.” 

Carina sipped her coffee, noting the bemusement on Andy’s face as to what the point of this story was but also seeing Emmett was looking a little uncomfortable, like he was hearing something that struck a little close to home, as she’d suspected it would. All three of them had effectively followed in their father’s footsteps, and all three of them had very different experiences but equally none of them had found their ‘legacy’ connection problem free.

“At the end of my first year, I transferred to a different medical school. I could not learn from teachers who would not stand up to my father for twenty years and were prepared to look away from my mistakes when I was young and had no connections just because of who he was. But I was still bumping into those mistakes I had been able to get away with in that first year for the rest of my studies until I finally got rid of the bad habits and learned the lessons I had been encouraged to miss.” She looked at Emmett with a genuine and non-judgemental smile. “I had not told Maya this before Christmas Day, because if I am honest I had not thought about it for many years, but seeing you wanting to learn to do the hose drills right made me realise our experiences were perhaps not so different?” She saw him nod, cautiously, eyes locked on her, his lower lip white from how hard he was biting it. 

“It was that fear, of my father’s shadow, that meant my mother brought Andrea to America, and saw me change Medical School years later, which was not easy but was possible. Maya asked me what I would have done if I could not have changed Medical School, if there was only one Medical School that I could have gone to and…”

“And you guessed that the teachers I had at the Academy were like yours had been? Afraid of your father?”

“Si, because I know that you could not have gone to another Fire Academy...and so I answered Maya’s question by explaining that I did not think I could be as brave as you, and that I would have, if I could not have changed Medical School, probably never got as far as finding people like Maya who were prepared to stand up to my father like she did to yours, because I would have quit rather than tell the truth to him.” She looked at Emmett sincerely, wanting him to understand a very important point. “Maya did not betray anything you might have told her Emmett, I do not know what your Academy experience was like, but I could guess enough from what Maya was not saying and what I had seen to make the connection.”

“Thanks…” He nodded his head, acknowledging what she was telling him - it hadn’t occurred to him that Captain Bishop would have said anything to her, nor did he find he was overly bothered by her knowing if the Captain had said anything. But hearing her take the time to make sure he knew the Captain hadn’t said anything was helpful to hear. “...and you’re right. As long as I scraped the times, no one wanted to criticise me or tell me off. I think…” He looked at Andy, knowing she already knew this, because everyone on A Shift knew this because he’d told them after talking to the Captain about it one day. “...I think he was making them think I was a spy for him or something, and I wasn’t trying to take shortcuts…”

“Si, neither was I. But when I failed to understand why their way was the right way, they did not correct me and so I did not know I had not learned correctly.”

“Yeah, that was it, though I could see I wasn’t getting it, no one would help me…” He blinked, clearing his mind of the memories of the struggles he had which he was expecting to get him kicked out but instead kept being overlooked, knowing it was all very much behind him now as 19 were helping him now they understood. “I can’t believe you would quit being a doctor like that though,” said Emmett realising he struggling to picture her as anyone else.

“Si, that is what Maya said, and it made me realise that she and you were right...because I always knew there was more than one medical school that I could go to, which is why I changed after my first year of studies...and why I almost enrolled there with my grandmother’s family name rather DeLuca, but I am lazy and the paperwork? Mamma mia, that is one thing I do not miss from Italy.” She grinned as she reached for her coffee, frowning with disappointment when she discovered she’d finished it.

“Seriously? You thought about changing your name?” asked Andy, starting to see where this story of Carina’s was going, appreciating the elegance of the idea and understanding now why Maya had asked them to come to see her together, rather than just giving Andy a message, and why Carina felt able to offer an explanation in Maya’s absence, as Andy could easily picture Maya trying to nudge Carina into explaining for her even if she was here, as this was something that had needed Carina’s perspective to make happen.

“Only for a moment, but I think Maya’s point is a good one - if I had not deep down known I could move to another Medical School I would have thought much more seriously about whether I should not be so easily spotted as Vincenzo DeLuca’s daughter when I started my studies, which would have angered him but I have made a habit of that in order to be the doctor I want to be.”

“Wow.” Emmett looked at her with a whole extra, new layer of respect on top of the respect he already had for her. 

“Anyway, we then arrived home and I did not think anymore about this, but at some point Maya looked at the rules that the Department had for when female firefighters married and changed their surname and which now apply for any firefighter, but it did not help because that requires the change to be confirmed by a legal document. And then she did some more research and discovered that City employees are asked to specify which part of their legal name they consider their ‘first name’, and apparently, so she tells me, it means that whichever name is not picked by the employee as their ‘first name’ is assumed to be their last name as default, because for most people getting their first name right is the most important...but then I guess not everyone has a job that stamps their last name on their clothing…” ...which reminded her, she probably needed a new white coat now and ID, though hopefully Anna could help her with that, along with, and this made her smile, new headed paper for her letters.

“Ok…” Emmett was following so far, and could certainly list a number of artists whose work he’d studied whose names were written in Western texts as their family name first, catching people out when they tried to suggest two artists were related just because, for example, their given names were the same.

“She told me this after she had emailed the order for these last Sunday, before the shooting.” Carina passed the two shirts with the nametape saying ‘EMMETT’ on it, and the plastic wrapped grey fabric, which turned out to be the part of their turnout jacket that had their name stitched on it, which zipped onto the bottom of their otherwise anonymous jackets. “And was planning on talking to you about how, if you wanted to be your own person with a proper space between you and your father, you could be Firefighter Emmett once these arrived, though you would appear in the email directory with Dixon as your first name. She said...si, ‘seeing is believing’ and thought being able to see it might make it easier for you both…” 

“We got the stores order on Thursday morning. Chief Sato and I unpacked it and the first things we unpacked were the bits that I was expecting based on the requests I’d collected up before Christmas from the other shifts. So once we’d found all those and saw the rest were special orders put in by the Captain rather than our monthly stores request, he said he’d sort through them and ask her what to do with them.” Andy didn't need to explain how she'd been as unaware of this as Emmett was, but felt like it was something she should share.

“I am sure Maya would explain it better, how it works with Department. All I can remember from what she was telling me about how the rules could be...bended into a different shape, was that the helmet and your metal name badge for your other jacket were a little bit different and could only be done if and when you decided this was a decision you wanted to make, but these?” Carina waved her hands at the items he was holding. “That was just between you, Andy and her until you took a decision you wanted others to know.”

“I…” Emmett was speechless, holding the shirts and name panel in his hands like they were delicate porcelain. “...this is…” He looked at her, genuinely lost for words at what this represented.

“I am sorry that there is that video of me on the internet saying what I said about your father Emmett.”

“Don’t apologise, please.” While still somewhat overwhelmed by the significance of what he was holding, Carina’s apology did help him find his voice again. “It’s true, the asshat is a corrupt little shit.” A new thought struck him, having not seen Maya, having gone with Miller to get gas when the team had visited her. “Umm, the Captain, she, umm, she knows I think she was brilliant in what she said? That I haven’t, umm…”

“She noticed you were not with the team when they visited, and would enjoy you visiting her sometime...and I think it would be good for you both if you said what you have just said to her, even if it is by text. But I know she did not think you were like your father when you had your line up on Tuesday and I do not think, at least, she has not said anything since that has made me think she is now worried about you being in her Station…” Carina glanced at Andy to see if she had picked up on anything.

“Her exact words to me were she wanted to talk to you about something and I should be here as your training Lieutenant, that it was nothing bad and she’d have done it Thursday or Friday otherwise.” Andy looked at Carina, a thought occurring. “I don’t know what you think Carina, but I’m not actually sure she’s thought that this whole…” Andy sort of vaguely gestured towards the bed she and Emmett were sitting on the edge of, “...that it’s got any connection with Emmett? You know?”

“Si, you are right,” agreed Carina, seeing Emmett was looking confused again. “I know, for Maya there was already the space between you and your father in her mind, and nothing from the shooting has changed that. This…” She gestured towards the shirts. “...is an idea she had because she saw that others that you meet in your uniform might not know about the space you have put between you and your father, that seeing his name on your uniform might make it harder for you to remember you created that space. Nothing about Tuesday or her talking publicly on Thursday has changed that for her I don’t think, but I think it has made it feel harder again for you si?”

“Umm, yeah.” He looked at the shirts again, then looked at Andy. “Lieutenant?”

“Mmm?” Andy was starting to think about her own experiences through the Academy and at 19, being known as ‘legacy’, asking herself for the first time ever what it might have been like if she hadn’t been known from the outset as Pruitt Herrera’s daughter, but snapped back into the present quickly, seeing in his eyes what he was about to ask.

“Can I, umm, well, do you mind if I, that is…” He pulled at the collar of the shirt he was wearing, swallowing thickly, seeing she and the doctor were smiling at him, but clearly expecting him to find the words and ask. “...I don’t need time to think, can I change my shirt and coat today?”

Andy nodded, smiling when she heard him pull the poppers open even before she’d said ‘yes’, prompting Carina to chuckle at his enthusiasm - she was sad Maya was missing this moment, but suspected he would be back very quickly to visit her with the same enthusiasm, finally wearing a shirt he felt able to stand tall in.

“One thing though…” said Andy, automatically picking up his discarded shirt with the ‘Dixon’ nametape stitched to it and starting to fold it neatly once she’d taken his badge off it for him. “...you’re still Probie, Emmett.”

“Yes Lieutenant.” He pulled his new shirt on, tucking it in, only then realising he’d forgotten to move across his badge, which Andy held out for him. “Thanks.” He pinned it on his shirt, looking down at himself in amazement, his back straight, his shoulders relaxing as he felt a weight he’d stopped noticing lift from him.

“A photo per favore? For me to show Maya  _ after  _ you have texted her?” requested Carina, reaching for her phone, finding his smile infectious, as Andy was too. “Grazie…” She had taken the photo just in time, as she was just turning her phone screen around to show him how it looked when their radios burst into life. “...is that you?”

“Yes, sorry…” They both stood up, Andy passing him his worn shirt so he didn’t leave it behind.

“Go.” Carina was the last person to take offence at them having to answer their call. “Tell everyone Maya is doing well even though you didn’t see her per favore?” she asked as she leaned in and shared a fleeting hug with Andy and, after a moment’s hesitation, Emmett too.

“Will do, tell her hi back?”

“Si.” 

Carina sat down again, looking thoughtfully at the picture she’d just taken, then turned to look through her messages and emails, ignoring most of her emails but stopping to reply to the message from Addison, which turned into a quickfire exchange of texts as Addison was clearly in a position to look at her phone...reminding her that she had missed her colleague who was actually a friend rather more than she’d thought...


	43. Chapter 43

“...your coffee?”

“Ahie!” Startled, Carina looked up with a start. “Scusa, I was…” She looked at her phone when it sounded another message arrived notification, smiling at the final message Addison had just sent. “...Addison Montgomery wishes you Happy New Year Nina….e grazie.” Carina took the offered coffee cup with genuine delight when she saw it was from the coffee cart outside the hospital main entrance.

“Dr Shepherd suggested you would like this…” said Anna, handing over the paper bag with the branding of the coffee cart in the main lobby. “...a chocolate almond croissant?”

“Everyone is telling you all my secrets,” joked Carina, putting aside the coffee cup and taking the croissant with enthusiasm, grateful for the breakfast as with Maya nil by mouth since just before midnight, but being woken at 5am to start the preparation for her going down to the OR just after 6am, Carina had been awake a long time without yet having anything to eat. “Thank you, these are my favourites.” She took the first bite and as she was chewing, tried to decipher what was causing their slightly surprised expressions, coming up with nothing. “What is on your minds?”

“I didn’t know you knew Dr Montgomery...” If Nina was honest, she was feeling a bit silly for not thinking they probably did know each other without needing to be told - they were hardly a huge specialty, and Dr DeLuca was not exactly a nobody given her research.

“Si, we have known each other for many years, since before either of us was a Head of Department. That is what she was just teasing me about.” Carina took a sip of the coffee, deciding now was probably a good time to give these two the fuller picture about her history. “The last time I was Head of Department it was a role more like Dr Bailey’s only instead of surgery I was Head of Women and Children Medicine, because that was how the hospital was structured.” She saw Nina’s eyes widen and smirked. “Si, I decided that was not something that would help make me friends with my predecessor, or Dr Robbins.” She shrugged, knowing there was no point denying she was now someone who was part of Grey Sloan’s ‘history’, even if only the very recent history at the moment. “But I have never been head of a fire station and there is no tension between us about our responsibilities.” 

That wasn’t to say she and Maya didn’t have arguments and struggles with getting their professional lives to integrate, they were after all human and imperfect humans at that, but there wasn’t an equivalent to the longstanding tension between OBGYN and Paediatrics as to who was responsible for the NICU and neonatal medicine, as it was an area that could sit under either specialty. When Addison had been Head, and given her interest in the fetal surgery specialism, neonatal care and medicine had been OBGYN’s responsibility, but at some point after her departure it had switched to being led by Arizona, who also became interested in the fetal surgery specialism. And now? Neither Carina nor Cormac Hayes, the current Head of Paediatric Surgery was a neonatal or fetal surgery specialist, which at worst meant no one ‘claimed’ the NICU as theirs, but at best, and that was what Carina was hoping would happen, it would be a joint responsibility in a positive way. Either way, it was something for another day.

“Me? I am not that keen on heights, which Maya has no problems with and finds it less stressful to run into buildings that are on fire because they do not have, and I quote, vaginas with babies flying out of them, though she did have a delivery that was almost a flying baby despite me telling her babies did not fly.”

“Very fast?” guessed Nina, knowing what the Captain probably meant, appreciating Carina’s larger point - the NICU power supply problems were a direct legacy of the eternal ‘whose is it’ question that had haunted neonatal medicine since Dr Robbins left, though it was a question that Dr Lachman had somehow remained unaware of.

“Si, third or fourth pregnancy and she said she caught the baby because the mother was still standing, possibly also on drugs, I do not remember. That was Maya’s second delivery that I know about, the first was the daughter of one of her team, in the big snowstorm and I think it was her first delivery.” If it wasn’t, Maya did a far better job at maintaining an ‘innocent’ expression in order to flirt with her than Carina had ever given her now girlfriend credit for, as looking innocent while being anything but as a flirtation strategy wasn’t one of Maya’s strengths.

“And the Climpson twins. They all went home yesterday by the way.” 

“Ah? Bene.” Carina had rather forgotten that they were still in the hospital, having forgotten about most things except Maya since the shooting, though she did keep track of the new patients thanks to Nina and her colleagues’ texts. “They were born at Station 19, but Maya would tell you off for counting them as ‘hers’. It is Emmett, the other firefighter who was here that gets to count them but he will also tell you off.”

“The bears and caps are because they were born at the Station though?” asked Nina, remembering seeing them appear when the babies were a couple of days old. “Same as the Captain’s?” she asked nodding towards the cap wearing bear that was sitting on the bedside unit next to Carina’s coffee, presuming it belonged to the Captain given the cap design.

“That’s yours though isn’t it Doctor?” asked Anna, recognising it she thought. “From your office?”

“Si.” Carina looked fondly at her bear and cap. “You are both right. It is the same cap as the ones Maya gave to the twins, but that one she gave to me. I am lending it to her for a little bit. Dr Bailey has the same cap also, she was given hers by her husband but she does not keep it on a bear.” Which reminded Carina there was something else she needed to do, as well as start prioritising what she was going to review within the department and clear up the backlog of paperwork she’d been left. “I must send you the telephone numbers and emails for Maya, Andrea, the Station…” She thought for a moment, “...si, and Mason.”

“Mason?” 

Anna had already worked out from the phone call she’d had with Nina yesterday suggesting she join this meeting with Carina this morning that, for now at least, the Department was probably going to be run from a patient room on the cardiothoracic and trauma wards where Dr Altman and Dr Pierce’s patients were - Captain Bishop had been adopted as the city’s new hero and the doctor’s relationship with the firefighter was hardly a secret within the hospital, and now the world thanks to the press. So ‘Maya’ had been easy to work out without any explanation necessary, while  _ Andrea _ they all knew was the doctor’s brother who insisted everyone else call him ‘Andrew’ and while she could guess ‘the Station’ was Maya Bishop’s fire station, Anna was out of ideas for the fourth person or place she needed to keep the contact details for as someone on Dr DeLuca’s ‘priority’ list.

“Maya’s brother, ah, scusa, I forgot, he must also be on the not to be moved about list...oh, and can you please do whatever it is that needs to be done for him to have the card that works for the coffee carts?”

“Of course Doctor, just him? Does he have a pass? And not the Captain?” 

As a general rule Carina and the other attendings tried to remember to have some cash on them to buy their coffees and meals with, but as a back up, their staff passes worked as charge cards - handy when you had no money on you and needed something to eat, but slightly dangerous too, since it was easy to lose track of what you were or weren’t eating and drinking during shift since it was just deducted against their salary payments. Carina had remembered reading in her various ‘welcome to the hospital’ type documents that they could set it up for a family member, and until Andrea was an Attending she had made sure his card worked, just in case because that was what big sisters did for their little brothers.

“No, just him, I think Dr Bailey has organised his pass already otherwise si, a pass too please. Maya, I have already done the pass so I do not think that needs to be changed…” Carina looked thoughtfully at the bed, realising she needed to adjust her answer a little. “...it will be different while she recovers but otherwise she is either in a very big rush to the next call with no time for a coffee or there is no rushing, which usually means she comes with coffee from outside but for now it does not need to be a card.” 

As much as Carina would like to make sure Maya always had that option, she knew it was something that she shouldn’t spring on her girlfriend - as Fire Captain she was financially doing very well, but ultimately there was still quite a difference between a Fire Captain and a world-class surgeon and Carina was careful to not repeat an early misstep which had inadvertently made their salary differences a source of tension for a little while. Certainly Maya, when she visited while on duty, never had time to plan to eat something, and when she visited when off duty she had already made a plan to bring something from outside. So in practical terms, that would still apply now during her recovery.

“But Mason will be here a lot, even after Maya goes home because he is an artist and Dr Bailey has asked him to paint a mural for the children in the lobby.” And that, she was certain she could raise with Maya and Mason as meaning there was a practical convenience to him being able to get refreshment when he needed using the charging route, rather than treating it as a financial discussion. “Oh, and per favore, please call him Mason not Mr Bishop, that is their father who is...a difficult topic for us.”

“I didn’t know the hospital planned for that to be a mural,” said Nina, looking to see if Anna had any idea of this new direction from her slightly different section of the grapevine, getting a headshake, picking up that as far as Carina was concerned, the topic of the elder Mr Bishop should be firmly off limits for everyone.

“No, it is…” Carina reached for her phone when she heard she had another message. “...an idea of Dr Bailey’s that will hopefully help the children...ah, that is Amelia.” She looked up apologetically. “I need to go - Maya is on her way to Recovery.”

“Of course Doctor.” 

They’d achieved far more than Anna had thought they’d manage to do in three times the amount of time they’d had so far. She was intrigued by her new boss’ comments about her previous Head of Department experiences, because based on this small time with her, she definitely knew what she was doing, and was absolutely right: they were going to be doing things in an unusual way for a bit, but based on what Anna had already made notes about, the Doctor’s confidence was well placed - soon others would be following their lead. 

“I’ll sort out the other things you need…” She saw Carina pause, her eyebrow raised. “...IT access, new ID and white coat with your title, parking space and, umm…” This was the trickiest question.

“Si?”

“Will you be moving office?”

“Ah.” Carina thought for a moment - if she hadn’t already moved office recently because of the building work that had also included Mason’s wall being redone, she might have found this a difficult question, having liked her old office. She didn’t like the idea of having to move again, but the Department Head office was much more convenient for the wards and Anna’s desk, and she wasn’t yet so comfortable in her current office it felt like a wrench. “That would be easier for the department? To have me in the normal place?” They nodded. “Bene, grazie, I will move, though I am not sure…” She looked to the bed, that Nina had cleared of all their papers and was in the process of converting it from temporary conference table back to a patient bed ready for its occupant.

“I can organise the whole move - desk to desk, cabinets to cabinets. Just let me know if there is anywhere you would prefer to pack yourself.”

“Grazie.” Carina grinned, thinking about what was in her office. “Your assistance in organising it all would be great, thank you.”

And, with a smile and a final gulp of her coffee, she left to go meet Maya in Recovery, wondering how she might get to be an invisible observer of the moment when the box of vibrators was found - somehow, she thought that might be a box the hospital porters and Anna would prefer Carina pack herself...

* * *

  
  


“...ow…”

“Va bene bella…” Carina reached out and pressed the call button for the nurse with her right hand, then moved the cardboard dish out of Maya’s immediate line of vision. “...close your eyes and breathe with me…” she coached, feeling more of her girlfriend’s weight settle back onto her as she tried to relax, knowing that being physically sick will have irritated all her existing incisions and broken bones, as well as just making Maya feel rubbish.

“I’m sorry…”

“There is nothing to be sorry for,” whispered Carina, kissing the side of her girlfriend’s neck and helping her find some sort of comfortable position using Carina has her mattress.

At first, when Maya returned to her room from Recovery, she’d only been awake long enough to recognise Carina with a dopey grin and reach for her, trapping her hand in a firm grip as she drifted off to sleep again. The second time Maya had woken up, she had been properly awake for long enough to complain her shoulder and ribs were aching and she felt weird. Carina had been expecting something like that, though the ‘feeling weird’ was new. Still, she’d already decided that she’d offer to not only help Maya sit up, but to sit behind her like they were by the time Bailey came back with her temper in check, and hadn’t been surprised when she got a sleepy nod and, Maya being Maya and starting to try and sit up from lying fully flat all on her own. 

The nurse who had responded to the call button that time, who Carina had hoped to help with the manoeuvering, had objected to this rather unconventional approach, but just when Carina was about to experiment with using the power of her new role, Teddy had popped by to see how Maya was doing and unknowingly solved the problem by saying ‘oh, do you want me to help you sit like you were yesterday when Bailey and I visited?’ and a couple of minutes later Maya was fast asleep, sitting up against Carina’s chest while Teddy and Carina had a quiet chat about anything and everything including why Carina was supposed to be rather excited at being told she would now have a parking space.

But that had all been just under an hour ago, and the nap had been rudely interrupted by Maya’s sudden waking and need to be sick, suggesting that the earlier ‘feeling weird’ had been the first clue that for whatever reason, the recovery from this third general anaesthetic was not going to be as smooth as the first two.

“If anyone is sorry it is me for not thinking you might have a reaction sooner…” 

She was about to say more, when a different nurse, one she recognised from earlier on in Maya’s stay, appeared and quickly understood what the problem was, changing the cardboard bowl for a fresh one in case it was necessary and making sure some wipes were within Carina’s reach in case they were useful, before heading off to find Dr Altman.

“I didn’t…” Maya tried opening her eyes but felt the queasiness return, prompting her to close them quickly and slump further into Carina’s comforting embrace, finding her girlfriend’s presence reassuring not just because she felt awful, but because she could pick up on Carina’s calmness and remind herself her amazing girlfriend was a doctor who understood all this stuff and use that to keep her own anxieties about doing something wrong at bay.

“Have this reaction to the last operations? Si…” Carina moved her left shoulder so she could better support her girlfriend’s head, reaching up and sweeping blonde hair back so it didn’t tickle, knowing sneezing would only making Maya even more uncomfortable. “...and there are reasons that make your reaction make sense bella…” she soothed, hoping she could encourage Maya into a light doze so that her insides got a chance to relax. “...but me explaining them will not help you feel better.”

“Don’t wanna know then…” mumbled Maya, trying to work out if her insides were rolling because it was the end of last nausea attack or the start of a new one.

“Si, but Teddy is coming and we will work it out for you so you feel better…”

“M’k…” Maya winced as she felt her insides start to roll again, groaning a little at the discomfort, though it wasn’t as bad as when she’d opened her eyes a moment ago. “Sleepy…”

“Then sleep bella…” encouraged Carina, knowing that they didn’t need Maya to be awake to give her the meds that would help with the nausea because she was still sufficiently close to coming back from Recovery she still had all the lines and monitors attached to her for fluids, medications and oxygen, which was also not helping Maya feel comfortable, having her limited pain free movement further restricted. “...does it just hurt in your chest and tummy? Or your leg too?”

“Everything…” mumbled Maya, wincing as she clearly tried to test a part of her body and regretting it.

“Va bene bella, try to sleep and you will feel better…” Carina continued her gentle soothing murmurs and caresses as she waited to feel the tension start to maybe fade a little from Maya’s body as hopefully she started to rest again. This was not going to be an easy day or two, but it would be worth it when Maya could start to properly move and run and be her active self again. They just had to remember that for these next two days until the worst of the surgery’s impact had passed.

  
  


“Hi…” Teddy approached the bed with the nurse, keeping her voice low, seeing that Carina had managed to get Maya calmer again, understanding already from the nurse what had happened. “...she asleep?”

“Almost I think,” said Carina quietly, knowing from the early part of Maya’s stay that her normally highly energetic, rest-averse girlfriend had been quite good at staying still and calm, even if she wasn’t fully asleep, as long as Carina was there with her as a constant presence. Based on that experience, Carina suspected she and Teddy could talk in their normal voices and, as long as Carina didn’t try to move away from Maya, not that she could or wanted to, then Maya would stay sleepily resting even if she wasn’t fully asleep. “I think, did she have different pain medication this time?” Something was telling her that, while Maya might be struggling more with the anaesthetic than previously, the more dramatic reaction was from pain relief.

“I…” Teddy took the chart from the nurse with a nod of thanks, flicking through the notes, comparing what Maya had been given immediately post-op each time. “Ah, yes.” She looked at Maya, trying to formulate a plan, hoping to avoid having to wake up Maya. “Do you think I need to check her incisions?”

“I was supporting her, and she did not complain of specific tenderness when I applied light pressure to the dressings but I cannot see.”

“Let’s see how the dressings look…” Teddy lifted the sheet covering Maya, knowing she’d done quite a thorough incision check in the OR while Link was operating on her ankle, taking the opportunity to be able to properly check Maya’s rib injuries again without causing Maya acute pain as they moved her arm to give them access, which would have otherwise aggravated her collarbone. But probably wasn’t helping Maya cope with her general level of ‘ow’. “...there’s no signs there’s a major tear.” She put the sheet back, seeing Carina’s frown. “Last minute bonus - as well as Julia doing that scan Addison wanted which we’d not done because of the stress on her thigh, I checked all her incisions and those ribs while she was under. Everything was looking good, so I think we’ll risk it, but if you see anything or she says anything, we’ll get the dressings off and have a look again.” Teddy looked from Carina to Maya, who was wincing a bit in her rest, not wanting to have to disturb her too much for another hour or two if they could while they got the nausea under control and got some pain relief back into her.

“Grazie.”

“Right, I think…” Teddy looked back at Maya’s chart and did some quick thinking. “...I need to talk to Link about what he wants to do specifically for her ankle, but I can go ahead and…” She double checked her thinking one final time, then turned to the nurse and, out of Carina’s earshot, requested the medications she wanted as she updated the chart. Then, once the nurse went off to get them for her, she caught Carina up on her plan. “...I’m going to give her the anti-nausea shot and another injection to settle her ribs and abdomen pain.”

“The same one as before?”

“Yeah, we know she’s alright with that one. It might be enough for her ankle too, but I’ll go talk to Link and see what he thinks…” Teddy caught her lip, knowing that Carina knew she was basically planning on knocking Maya out for a few hours like she’d done after she and Bailey had arrived in the middle of the three way argument about Maya not liking Mason and Carina’s sleeping choices in the early hours of New Year’s day.

“I will stay here,” said Carina, knowing what Teddy was thinking - she was going to be trapped by Maya sleeping on her, but Carina didn’t mind. “Honestly I did not sleep last night, so it is a good excuse…”

“If you’re sure? Although I know she will be better if you can stay put…” 

Teddy didn’t normally favour such unorthodox attitudes to her patients’ sleeping positions, but she was very aware that for all her other strength, Maya’s mental resilience was extremely fragile at the moment and the panic-inducing anxiety was never very far from the surface. Anything Carina’s presence could do to help mitigate that Teddy was supportive of, knowing that otherwise they might have to be exploring anti-anxiety medications, which she didn’t want to consider without first exhausting everything else given Maya’s system was starting to show it had opinions on what medications it could cope with. 

However, based on what she’d seen and knew of Maya, as long as Carina could cope with providing the reassurance that helped Maya stay calm without jeopardising her own health, Teddy was fairly confident medication intervention wasn’t something they were going to need now they’d got Maya through the last of the ‘repair’ interventions, she’d found a way to understand the scale and complexity of her recovery timeline and, just for extra bonus points, she’d managed to re-establish a relationship with her brother which seemed, from what Teddy had seen already, seemed to be going well too.

“I am staying,” said Carina firmly, then immediately softened, her ‘inner doctor’ voice reminding her that they were incredibly fortunate to have their friends looking after Maya, as that made it possible for these small concessions and adjustments. “Thank you Teddy.” She felt Maya move against her, then mumble something. “Sshh, tranquilla…” Carina soothed, stroking Maya’s left arm taking care to avoid the IV while letting her move her right hand into a slightly different position then tangle her fingers with Carina again. “...I am not going anywhere. Teddy is going to give you the medicine that you have had before helps you sleep for a little bit.”

Maya’s mumble was just a stream of incoherent sound to Teddy, but Carina was not only able to hear the quiet mumble more clearly, she was also far more expert at interpreting sleepy Maya mumble.

“That is best translated as ‘thank you Teddy, she is grateful for the medication and you not forcing me to move’,” explained Carina, smiling at her friend then kissing her girlfriend’s cheek, deciding that was more informative than ‘stay yay Ted’.”

“You’re welcome Maya.” Teddy patted her friend’s hand, realising that yes, Maya was her friend now as well as being her friend’s girlfriend, then waved the nurse in. “And I’m going to give you your meds now, so you’ll be feeling better in a minute or two.”

She paused, needle poised, waiting to see if there was any reaction from Maya, only for Carina to smile and shake her head.

“She’s asleep…” she whispered, resting her cheek against Maya’s forehead, preferring not to watch Teddy injecting the medications into Maya’s IV.

“Best thing for her,” agreed Teddy, closing the IV port again and making a note on Maya’s chart. “And my prescription for you as well…” She nodded her thanks to the nurse who left, leaving Teddy to pull up the chair Carina had maintained her vigil in originally, that Teddy had kept watch from on New Year’s Day while she made sure Carina rested.

“The worst is behind her now?” asked Carina quietly, not underestimating the struggles Maya would face with her recovery, despite their talk yesterday, but nevertheless hoping that now, five days after the shooting, they had only smaller mountains to climb from now on.

“I think so,” agreed Teddy, squeezing her friend’s hand in reassurance, knowing that there was always a chance something could surprise them, especially given the number of injuries Maya needed to recover from, but knowing they’d now done all the repairs and fixes they could do and, barring anything like an infection, it was now mostly down to Maya. “She’s doing really well, you do know that right? And I’m not asking you that doctor to doctor, I’m asking you as the person my patient’s clearly completely and utterly in love with and needs to believe in her more than anyone.”

“Si...I know…” agreed Carina, letting her cheek rest against Maya’s head, closing her eyes, letting her final worries go as she listened to her girlfriend’s gentle breathing, finally resting without her pain or anxiety exhausting her. “She is magnifica.”

“Sleep well…” encouraged Teddy. Making sure Carina’s cell phone was on silent but in range of her left hand, along with the call button, neither of which Teddy expected them to need, Teddy stood up knowing right now what they both needed was what they had right now - each other and sleep. 

Turning down the light over the bed, the surgeon watched her friends for a moment, making sure Carina really was asleep, then quietly left the room, knowing that while the next couple of days were going to be fairly unpleasant for Maya as her body once again tried to work out what it was supposed to do. But now, almost exactly five days to the minute when Teddy’s pager had gone with the 911 page that was Maya coming into the ER they’d got the last of Maya’s injuries fully stabilised.

* * *

“How are they?” asked Bailey, passing through Teddy’s ward on the way to her next surgery.

“Sleeping, they both are. Maya didn’t cope with some of the drugs so needed an anti-nausea shot, but nothing broke.”

“And DeLuca?” Miranda hadn’t expected her question to have such a specific answer, not aware of Maya’s drug reaction but just knowing she’d had surgery earlier.

“Also sleeping. She said she didn’t get any sleep last night.”

“Not surprised, neither did I after that meeting, and I imagine Maya was…”

“Anxious? Yeah, not the best night according to the nurses. Apparently they ended up with a Toy Story movie marathon mixed with art class mixed with firefighter trivia based on what they were hearing as they did the obs checks.”

“Where is Mason?”

“Fast asleep on the couch in my office.” Teddy looked at her watch. “He’s had about four hours now, Amelia came in with Link and spent some time with him while Maya was prepped and then in surgery.” Teddy understood the meaning behind Miranda’s raised eyebrow. “She just turned up and took him off until Maya was back in her room. He’s seen her be dopey and say hello, then saw how tired he was and packed him off to my office couch. Carina…” Teddy nudged Bailey’s side with her fingers, moving them into the quieter corner of the ward. “...asked Amelia to help her with Mason a couple of days ago, because she couldn’t be there for both of them sometimes, and Maya…”

“Is her world,” said Bailey simply, still not fully recovered from the shock of the page and the relief she felt when she knew it wasn’t Ben, and the guilt. “She said she was glad…”

“Hmm?” Teddy knew she was not Bailey’s natural confidante, so was a bit slow to follow her thinking. “Carina? To you?”

“When I went to find her, she saw before I said anything, knew it was bad, but somehow....despite it all she was asking me if Ben was alright and when I said it was just Maya…” Bailey forced herself to push down the lump in her throat, to keep looking at Teddy and to finish sharing this moment that she’d not told anyone about, not even Ben, but was weighing on her so much. “...she said she was glad Ben was ok. And I…”

“Felt like shit because your husband was fine and she was so damn nice?” Teddy rubbed Bailey’s arm, understanding exactly what she meant. “I get that, more than you might believe, but I get that.”

“Owen?” Bailey asked as a reflex, then saw Teddy’s hesitation and backpedalled. “Sorry, none of my…”

“It’s fine, really.” Teddy watched the ebb and flow of hospital life on the ward for a second. “You just surprised me, but yeah, probably at times with him, but I was remembering someone else.” She smiled at Bailey, taking in her scrubs and lack of her doctor’s white coat. “You look like you’ve got a surgery?”

“Yeah, but I thought I’d come see these elevators you’re so obsessed about suddenly…” said Bailey, her equilibrium restored and her business like matter-of-factness returning.

“Trust me, you’ll be joining us…” said Teddy, following her fellow surgeon to the elevators, curious to see how Bailey reacted to it, trying not to laugh at her indignant look just now. “...no, seriously, I’ve already seen what it’s done to my patient transfer times…”


	44. Chapter 44

“...and here,” George Sato handed over an envelope to Maya, still struggling to get his head around how much better she looked than when he’d last seen her on Thursday, New Year’s Eve. He knew there was a saying that a week was a long time in politics, but the transformation in her was incredible, and that was despite having to have his Monday afternoon visit rescheduled to Wednesday because she was apparently having a rough time. “Herrera found them for me.” 

“Thanks.” Maya took the envelope from him and looked inside, then looked back at him, picking up on his distraction which she knew was out of character for him. “I got soup on my shirt or something?”

“Honestly? I wouldn’t have noticed because…” He shook his head, aware he had a big goofy very un-Chief-like smile on his face. “...compared to last time I saw you…”

“Oh, right, I wasn’t sitting up yet.” Maya understood how much of a change she’d gone through compared to then. “Or wearing a shirt…” She saw him nod and grinned, remembering the whole ‘Dr Orgasm’ conversation she’d had with him after Carina had sorted out her tangled lines, which she did not miss. “Yeah, Andy saw me sitting up, but otherwise you’re the first.” She looked down at herself, trying to see everything that had changed in the week she’d been in this room. “Umm, I forget I guess, since Carina and Mason see me every day...it feels like forever and also no time at all?” She looked over to her brother, taking advantage of his ability to ‘turn his ears off’ and become absorbed in something. “So much has happened in the last week, not just the operations and the thing with the Mayor…” She looked back to her boss. “Yet the triplets Carina delivered in 42’s Aid Car are not yet 2 weeks old and still in the NICU and it’s only just about a fortnight since you drove the PRT out for us... but I was so surprised to see a Christmas Tree still up in the lobby when I went there on Saturday afternoon.”

“You went to the lobby on Saturday?”

“My first big adventure. Wheelchair from here to the lobby, then Mas showed me his wall. Andy’s got pictures, and there’s some on my phone as well if you don’t believe me,” she joked, looking down at the envelope containing some photos she’d asked him to bring down from the Station, thinking how it was only ten days or so since she’d looked at these photos for the first time in at least a couple of years, showing them to Carina as she put on her dress uniform for the teddy bears gifting. “Did another walk around the ward that evening before my ankle op.”

“But it went alright? I know…”

“That I wasn’t doing so great?” She saw him nod. “Yeah, I’d not thought about it, but turns out there’s a bit of a difference between the general anaesthetic you get in an emergency and the ones where they ask you to not eat for hours before...not that I was doing much of that anyway yet then. The surgery on my ankle’s gone really well, the first set of scans are apparently ‘things of beauty’,” said Maya, quoting a rather enthusiastic Link who had been very proud of his handiwork when she’d seen him last night. “I just didn’t do so well with different drugs and pain relief after I woke up, but I’m doing alright again. Had a walk last night and this morning, get another one in a few minutes. And I’m allowed to eat stuff now.”

“Jello and ice cream?” He laughed when he saw her expression. “I was warned you’d not think jello was a treat.”

“Have you tried eating it with your wrong hand?” asked Maya incredulously. “I mean, ignoring it’s just strangely artificial sweetness, what is it with the texture? And the wobbling?” She shook her head. “Didn’t mind the soup so much, though I don’t understand why they bother trying to describe them.”

“Them?”

“Shades of green or orange. Think the orange ones are supposed to be some sort of root vegetables while the green ones are…” She thought back to the one she’d had for lunch. “...so far pea and spinach.”

“Together?”

“Separate. Last night was allegedly spinach and lunch was pea, but they might as well have been mixed. Still, they’re distinctly different to the orange ones at least…” She brightened at a new thought though. “I’ve made it onto fruit and yoghurt though, so progress.”

“How long before you’re promoted to Dr DeLuca’s cooking?”

“How do you know about Carina’s cooking?” asked Maya, only to realise he had been having meals at the station and there were various Carina cooked meals in the freezer there, not least because at some point Maya thought she remembered Carina telling Andy to take all the leftovers and food she’d cooked for her and Maya to enjoy in their downtime over the New Year period from the apartment and to the station so nothing was wasted while Carina stayed by Maya’s side in the hospital. Plus, the Doctor had already been thinking she needed to make some space in the freezer so they could start incorporating food that Mason liked and different sorts of prepared meals to get the three of them, four if Andy was still staying over sometimes, through the next few weeks of Maya’s recovery. “Minestrone?”

“That’s the soup with the pasta and beans in it?”

“Yeah, literally ‘big soup’. The one Probie made on Christmas with her or the one from our freezer at home?”

“Both...and the Station was was delicious, but your leftovers? I should warn you the entire shift want to move in after some of what Andy brought in for them. And that cheesy pasta sauce with the bacon?”

“Carbonara, and Carina will tell you it’s not cheesy it’s rich, because there’s no cheese anywhere near a sauce that wants to call itself carbonara.” She smirked at his surprised expression, realising he’d not been in the Beanery when everyone was given the food warning in the context of puppy name suggestions. “She’s Italian, I had to ban food based suggestions for the puppy names because...let’s just say I got less grief for getting smoke smuts on her Italian wool coat than I did for admitting I didn’t see why pasta had to come in more than one shape.” 

“Herrera did mention staying with you had turned her into a pasta snob when she realised one of the sauces was the chunky tomato vegetable one and the Station only had spaghetti.”

“Yeah…it happens, which is why the leftovers go to the Station and get eaten out of her earshot so I can…”

“Moderate the feedback? My brothers do the same when they get the Thanksgiving leftovers from our mother to take in.”

“Something like that....” Maya looked over to her brother, still frowning his way through the forms he was reading, knowing the Chief had only stopped by for a few minutes really and would have to go soon. “Mas?”

“Mmm?” Mason was sitting on his camp bed, already completely absorbed in the forms Chief Sato had also brought down with him, a SFD cap on his head.

“Come here a sec?” asked Maya, first sneaking a photo on her phone of him looking so cute, sitting cross-legged, concentrating hard. 

The cap had been a surprise - she’d only asked the Chief to bring her one down so she didn’t have to keep borrowing Carina’s, sensing from her girlfriend’s careful restoring of it to her bear everytime that Maya had worn it that too much more borrowing was going to start eroding its ‘specialness’ for her girlfriend, which was definitely not Maya’s intention. The cap Mason was wearing wasn’t a Station 19 one - the Chief, sensitive to the dynamics of a fire station family, knew it wasn’t his place to give out those, and while giving Mason a Station 19 cap wasn’t something Maya had thought about yet, she found she was rather relieved when the Chief had put it down on the bed, next to the City’s Community Project Application forms he’d also brought with him, to see it was the same ‘headquarters-style’ one she’d given Teddy. That relief, at first confused her before she’d quickly worked out she was relieved because it meant there was still the opportunity for her to give her brother the cap that would signify he was part of her Station family.

“Oh…” Mason unwound his legs from under him, wincing a little at the brief burst of pins and needles, then came over. “The forms are really complicated…” ...and according to what the Chief had said, they had to be submitted by Tuesday wasn’t leaving much time and starting to feel like an impossible task as he wasn’t exactly a form filling type.

“I guess,” said Chief Sato, thinking about them for a moment, then grinning a rather too mischievous smile for a supposedly serious Battalion Chief. “...unless you have spent seven years reviewing everyone’s completed ones. I’ll help you out with all the city-speak bits if you help me out with the description of the project? And Herrera and Gibson will sort the bits in between so we just then need to persuade Dr Altman to let your sister sign the back page.”

“He means,” explained Maya, seeing Mason was still rather bemused, understanding now that the way he’d been living made the idea of application forms and safety cases seem like obstructiveness, something he was doing really well at looking past because he was trusting her and her friends, but it was still a very new way of navigating the world for him. “We know nothing about painting so it’s on you to explain the story of your idea and why Bailey wants a kid friendly mural on the wall. The Chief will help with the bits of the form asking about community and reputation benefits…”

“Everyone wants kids to smile and laugh, especially if they’re kids who have to come to hospital, and it’s good publicity for the department if the firefighters help you paint the wall and your painting shows the kids a positive image of us,” added George, understanding why his comments hadn’t been as helpful for Mason as he’d intended them to be.

“That’s really cynical sounding…” said Mason sadly, frowning a little. “Not the kids smiling bit, but the rest.”

“It’s called playing the game - the bit that matters to us is the kids smiling when you’ve painted the wall, and there’s lots of firefighters across the city who want to help make it possible for you to paint the wall, no matter what the Fund decides.” George ignored Maya’s surprised look for a moment, wanting to get Mason back on the same page as he had been, rather than worried, knowing from Andy’s quiet warning that his sister was very quick to pick up on his mood changes and worry, and worry was not good for her just now. “But if by explaining in a particular way things that were going to happen anyway, like you wanting to paint a bear or two at the picnic dressed as a firefighter, or Herrera and the others helping you access the higher parts of the wall safely we get the prize, that doesn’t change anything we’re doing or the reason we’re doing it. It just is a different way of talking about it for a few minutes, that’s all.”

“And winning the prize is good for your Station and you?” he asked his sister, not exactly frowning, but still a bit puzzled, starting to feel a faint ticking building as his anger at people finding ways to stop or control him started to stretch and wake up.

“I won’t lie,” said Maya honestly, seeing what the root cause of this whole muddle was - no one had explained how the prize could help from Mason’s perspective. “Winning is a big deal in the Department, but that’s not why Jack had the idea.” Maya saw the slight twitch in George’s face and smiled a bit brighter - she knew her team, and knew without being told it would be Jack who was behind the original thought, even if he then managed to stay well away from the paperwork. “It gives the Station a few hundred dollars to spend on the project for more brushes and paints…” She also knew her little brother, and mentioning art supplies got rid of his frown at a stroke - she’d picked up on his mood shift, but also knew what would shift it back and she couldn’t help but grin. “...and something called monthly split shift cover, which means that rather than being on standby to go answer calls for half a shift, sometimes the whole station would get to come here for half a shift and help out doing whatever.”

“How long are your shifts?”

“24 hours, so you’d get eight or ten of us helping you for 12 hours,” said George, seeing what Maya had spotted and helping out with the explaining, “...and there’s another way that would mean a couple of us could come down for a couple of hours more often to help with things too.”

“Wow, that’s…” Mason was starting to see why the forms were so overwhelming, but also why the Chief and his sister were so positive about them.

“Worth talking up how many people go through that hospital entrance each day and offering to wear a t-shirt that said Station 19 Seattle Fire Department on it?” joked George, deciding this was his point to make as it would be best for Maya’s recovery if all she needed to do was somehow sign the forms after they’d all helped complete them.

“Yeah,” grinned Mason, feeling much happier now he understood what all this paperwork meant in terms of practical, useful things. “Like, umm, maybe I could draw a cartoon firefighter teddy bear for it? Like a logo? With a paint brush instead of a hose maybe?” He was thinking off the top of his head, looking between his sister and her boss. “Or is that too silly?”

“You could do that?” asked George, his own smile shifting from professionally supportive to genuine grin.

“Umm…” Mason pulled a pen out of his pocket and, pointing at the envelope on the bed by his sister, picked it up when she nodded and did a very quick cartoon drawing, no more than twenty strokes of his pen probably, then showed it to them. “...something like that? Only better?”

It was the first time George Sato had seen anything that Mason had drawn, and Maya enjoyed watching him discover her brother’s talent.

“That’s…” George looked at him, speechless.

“Could you do one like it but wearing scrubs maybe?” asked Maya quietly, directing Mason’s focus onto her to give George a chance to recover from the surprise of her brother’s talent, and Mason to recover from her boss’ reaction - Maya was still surprised every time she saw him do one of his quick little sketches as he called them, blown away by how he could capture so much with so little and she’d watched him do it since he was twelve or thirteen, but for George? She’d let him have a moment longer.

“Sure, but…”

“First I’m certain people like Andrew and Link will want to try and help if they discover they can have a go at the top bits with the harness and ropes…” She shared a conspiratorial grin with him, knowing he’d had exactly the same thought she had after she’d finished explaining it to him - Amelia would be probably first in line given the chance, trying to persuade Teddy and Carina to be not far behind her. “... they’re a good bunch of people here who would like to help. But it also is the sort of thing the City really likes for these sorts of projects, so having a ‘hospital team’ logo for it would score big time.”

“And help get the shift stuff and the paints,” grinned Mason, fully on board now. “Sure, I could…” He took the cap off his pen and did another quick drawing. “...something like that maybe? Only the face went a bit wrong and that one’s a bit too mean looking I think?”

“They are a bit fierce…” agreed Maya, thinking he’d unwittingly perfectly captured Bailey’s expression when she’d brought her temper in on Saturday. “...but still very cute.”

“Anyway…” Mason put his pen away, remembering that this wasn’t what Maya had called him over about, and that he’d only done it as an answer to the Chief asking a question. “...yeah, I guess I could do something like that.”

George grinned, then shook his head, looking at Maya with a long suffering expression - he’d spotted the resemblance in Mason’s answer to Maya’s easy acceptance of whatever challenge he’d thrown at her when she started out doing IC with him. 

“Yup, there are two of us,” smirked Maya, knowing what her boss was thinking. “But his thing’s art.”

"Huh?" Mason was confused.

“Nothing bad Mason, I promise,” said George quickly, “you just surprised me with how like your sister you are when we work together, in a really good way.” 

He had learned a bit about what their father was like from what he’d seen of the man, both at the Pac-West scene and in the courtroom a week later, plus what he’d heard in the court session, and that had started to explain her perfectionism...except it wasn’t perfectionism. Because firefighting was something you couldn’t be perfect at - it was too unpredictable, too reliant on assumptions that were always going to be imperfect, with the skill being to find a way to be as close to perfect as you could get so that whatever then happened was still safe and successful. Bishop’s confidence he’d realised, was driven from her acute understanding and awareness of how imperfect she was at every scene, her whole mindset structured around wanting to know how far from perfect she’d been, wanting to know what the moments were when she could have done something that got them closer to perfect, got them even safeter, achieved a successful scene completion faster. 

From a distance it could be easily dismissed as overconfident arrogance, a flaw common in almost all new Captains, but he'd quickly spotted that it was a strictly evidence based confidence and a firm belief that what was put in her path would be conquered. The ego necessary for Command was there, but it was interwoven with a factual certainty in her team’s abilities. The ambition that differentiated firefighters from Commanders was also there, but fueled by her preference to immediately review and work out how to do better next time, to get nearer to perfect no matter the outcome, not because she believed perfect was possible, but because she understood that less imperfect was safer scene. 

From a distance, she was easily confused with a brash new Captain, worse, a rotten Chief’s brash new Captain hired for ‘diversity’ rather than ability. But he had known that wasn’t what she was even before he knew her all that well, and now? Others who didn’t know, who only saw her from a distance and knew nothing about her didn’t confuse her with the ordinary new Captains he’d had to coach through applying their skills, while also trying to command their biggest scenes of their careers to date. She was anything but ordinary, she was exceptional.

"Oh, right, thanks I guess. And, umm, sorry, I messed up your envelope."

"It's for you." Maya nodded to him that yes, he should open it. "Might not be any use, but…"

"This is you graduating?" Mason put the photos out on the bed, looking at his sister, a few years younger, wearing her dress uniform. They were the same ones Maya had shown Carina when she'd been changing into her dress uniform before giving the bears and caps to the twins. "Is that Andy?"

"Yeah, we went through the Academy together, but that's not why I wanted you to see them…"

"Sorry, but you're…" He smirked, saw her raised eyebrow and snapped his jaw shut.

"You said you thought maybe do a view of the Sound or something in the middle bit of the wall? Like a local view?"

"Yeah, but I haven't really worked out that bit yet." He was struggling to picture the skyline, to try and remember what it was like to view the City with a slight distance between it and him.

"Look at the background in the photos…" encouraged Maya, seeing George catch on to her idea. ".... something like that maybe?"

"Yeah, but…" Mason peered at the photos, finding it difficult to get much detail as the photo was focused on his sister in the foreground.

"I didn't mean you needed to use those photos to design the background Mas…" said Maya with a patient sigh. "That's the Fire Academy, so it's possible to arrange for you to go see the view for yourself if you want? I just thought the photos would help give you an idea of what it's like there."

George very nearly asked why her brother didn't know it already, given family attended graduations as a rule, but he caught himself in time, seeing the only photos Maya had of her graduation were ones where she was included with Herrera, understanding why it wasn’t just Mason that was absent.

"I've got a day next week, maybe week after when I'm up there actually. You could come with me? Have a look and take some photos maybe?"

"He's got a photographic memory…" began Maya, distracted by the door opening, then relaxing again when she saw who it was and what they had with them. “So you’ll have to remind him to take actual photos.”

“I can do that, just don’t ask me to paint anything.”

“I’m sure there’s a cloud with your name on it Chief…”

“Clouds?”

“Can’t have a painting of Seattle without them,” said Mason, grinning, liking his sister’s boss now he’d talked to him a bit more. 

Suddenly all these forms didn’t seem like a bad thing after all...


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begins a flurry of chapters - they mostly, by the end of them, will have tied up the various loose threads I still have lying around the place in terms of sorting out the backstory omissions, narrative weirdness and general bits of limp canon that irked and which I have wanted to iron out since I started this crazy story telling adventure...which means we're about to venture into plausible plot warnings and caveats that no, I'm not a firefighter, but I am, perhaps as some of you have already guessed, really rather nerdy and like to read up about stuff.
> 
> So here begins a massive block of chapters that definitely pass the Bechdel test and somehow, for those of you who still have a few hours or minutes left of International Women's Day, feel rather fitting to post all in one go.
> 
> Definitely going to need a cup of tea and a comfy seat...but I hope you enjoy. Oh, and were paying attention ;-)

“Dr DeLuca?”

“Si…” Carina finished reviewing the chart she was looking at, turning towards the voice that wanted her, looking up as she initialled it. “...ah Nina, there is a diagnosis?”

“Yes, but you’re not going to like it.” Nina looked sideways at the two men from Maintenance - Joey their usual maintenance guy who had been unable to fix the broken generator over Christmas but kept the working one always ready, understanding how important it was for the NICU to have back up power at all times, and his boss, who was proving to be about as much use as a very useless thing.

“We have no backup?” asked Carina, showing exceptional perceptiveness, fixing the ‘boss guy’ with a hard look.

“Joey…”

“Is not being thrown by you under the coach.”

“Bus.”

“Ah, grazie. You are not throwing Joey under the bus, he has spent the Christmas period keeping my working generator ready should we need it, and now you have done something which means I have no backup power for the NICU. So now I want to know what your plan is  _ before  _ you do anything else in my department.”

“Look lady…”

“OUT.” 

Carina was not having the best of days as it was, with it being her first day back on the ward seeing patients as well as finding her feet as Head of Department. She’d meant to spend time on the ward yesterday and Monday without seeing patients, catching up on some of the paperwork Lachman hadn’t done, but after Maya’s bad reaction to the anaesthetic on Sunday, she had stayed with her girlfriend, doing paperwork in her room instead. But yesterday evening Maya had taken her first walk around Teddy’s ward in her new airboot, and also had her first day eating proper meals - admittedly they were soup and fruit jelly, but it was another huge step forwards in her recovery, and she’d not had a bad reaction. So, after helping her girlfriend with another bed bath this morning, Carina had at Maya’s insistence, completed the short commute to her own Department for her first day on the ward seeing patients as ‘the boss.”

“Keep your knick…”

“Leave my department now,” said Carina quietly and firmly, catching the eye of a passing porter and, in a spot of good fortune, her largest nurse who, for all his tendency to look like he was a lost nightclub bouncer, was very good with the nervous fathers who somehow always started behaving like they had never seen their partners' genitals until the check ups and scans began. “These gentlemen will help you wait in your boss’s area until you are dealt with by them.”

“Sure…” The porter and the nurse didn’t know what the situation with the generator was, but were very clear on two things. One was that they liked Dr DeLuca a lot and knew she didn’t get to that level of white hot fury easily and the other was that no matter what mood she might be in, no one called Dr DeLuca ‘lady’ in that tone when she was an Attending before Christmas and got away with it, and being Head of Department didn’t change that.

“Bene….” said Carina after a heavy breath, looking at Nina apologetically. “...who was he?”

“The Hospital Head Electrician. Should have left years ago. I’ll call Fred and tell him you are giving him his head on a platter.”

“Grazie. Joey?”

“Y...yes Dr DeLuca?”

“What do you think we need to do to get power?”

“Umm, that’s not really your biggest problem right now Doctor.”

“I have a bigger one than my patients?” Carina took another long breath, waving at Anna to come join them rather than continue to her office, hoping this ‘bigger problem’ might be something the administrator could take on so Carina could go and see Mrs Florres. “Do you have an idea for how I solve this bigger problem?”

“Kinda.” He felt his face warm at her raised eyebrow. “Umm, he sort of kicked the working generator, thinking it was the broken one and fractured the fuel tank.”

“So I need a new fuel tank?” Carina looked to Anna, wondering if finding generator fuel tanks were in her repertoire.

“Actually, we need to call 911.”

“It is a crime to kick a generator?” asked Carina, automatically dismissing the need for ambulance assistance since they were a hospital, and then her brain caught up. “No, you mean…”

“We need the fire department, there’s fuel all over the generator now and one spark and…”

“Boom. Si.” Carina blinked, reaching for the desk phone then paused, and reached for her cell phone. “We will call the fire department…” she agreed, hitting speed dial, “...but we will not call 911.”

* * *

  
  


“Don’t mind me...” said Teddy, following Ricky into Maya’s room.

“Those are…” Mason was watching Ricky bringing in the vase of flowers he was delivering, admiring the spectacular display of red and white flowers. “...amazing.”

“Hi Ricky.”

“Captain…” He looked around, surprised not to see Dr DeLuca, making Maya grin as he put the flowers down carefully on the patient table that would normally go across the end of the bed.

“You’re helping me surprise her.”

“I am?”

“Carina does beautiful flowers…” sighed Teddy, admiring the arrangement.

“Hey!” Maya attracted her friend’s attention, rather irked at the presumption her girlfriend was responsible.

“What? You disagree?”

“I completely agree Teddy, Carina does do beautiful things with flowers but she’s not responsible for those.”

“How do you know? I mean there’s no card and who else would be sending you flowers?” asked Teddy, looking at Mason to see if he was any the wiser, but he shook his head.

“I ordered the flowers, from the hospital florist.”

“You did?” Teddy looked at Maya skeptically, not sure she could picture Maya as a ‘must have flowers’ sort.

“Yes. But not for me.” She grinned at Ricky, making Chief Sato chuckle - he had come to recognise that smile from when they were doing IC together, and it normally was all the warning he got for her left field suggestion that invariably he was agreeing to because somehow, despite being something he’d never think of it himself, it was simple and effective and an obvious solution once she suggested it.

“Go on…” said Teddy, intrigued, glad she’d decided to take a break for a few minutes and see how Maya was doing with Carina in her department, the flowers being a good excuse because she knew Maya would not appreciate them hovering over her.

“They’re for Carina.” Maya looked at Teddy in what she hoped was a ‘I’ve been good’ way. “I sort of hoped that rather than doing my middle of the day walk with you around the ward, Ricky could help me and the flowers get to Carina’s ward? It’s her first day and…” If Maya’s shoulder and ribs weren’t being particularly grumpy with her after the small set back they’d had on Sunday and Monday as a result of her upset stomach and body’s decision that it really wasn’t putting up with any more anaesthesia drugs, she’d have shrugged, but that was temporarily out of her repertoire.

“Sure.” Teddy made a mental note that this was another instance of Maya winning at romance, because it really was a remarkably sweet gesture. “Just…” She’d been about to say that she’d just go let the nurses know she was taking a slightly longer break and they were heading over to OBGYN when Maya frowned at her vibrating cell phone. “Problem?”

“Carina’s calling me…” Maya unlocked her phone, tapping the speaker button to save trying to overtax her body by moving the phone to her ear. “Hi, you alright?”

“No, si…” Carina took a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Personally I am ok but I have a situation with the backup generators and maintenance are telling me I need to call for the fire department but…” She sighed again, stepping behind the nurses station so she wasn’t in direct earshot of the passing patients. “...I know they mean 911 and you are resting but I need to tell Mrs Florres that the drugs have not worked and we must go to the OR now for the bambino and there is a storm tonight and I…”

“Carina? Breathe,” instructed Maya, exchanging a look with Chief Sato who nodded and reached for his cell phone. “...and again for me?” asked Maya, hearing her girlfriend take another big deep breath. “Ok, Chief Sato is still visiting me, so he’s going to go with Teddy and come find you wherever you are...are you on your ward?”

“Si, at the nurses station. The generators are apparently on the roof outside.”

“Alright, Teddy’s going to set off right now with the Chief, and she’s going to take my phone and keep talking to you, so you can start telling the Chief what’s happening and I’m going to come a little more slowly with Ricky pushing me in the wheelchair because he’s also here, ready for my walk.”

“Maya….”

“Teddy’s nodding Carina and I’m giving her my phone.”

“Ma-ya…” Carina closed her eyes, willing herself to ignore the moisture she could feel forming, caught in a conflicting whirl of emotions - it was such a relief to hear Maya having a plan and was coming, but at the same time, she was supposed to be a doctor and here she was asking her battered and bruised girlfriend to drag herself across the hospital because Carina was having a bad day.

“The sooner you agree, the sooner I can give Teddy my phone and we start getting you able to focus on Mrs Florres and her baby that needs you to be brilliant, ok? You do surgery on the sick humans, the Chief and I organise firefighters to treat sick generators.”

“Si. Grazie.”

“See you in a few minutes Carina, the Chief’s on his way.” Maya passed her phone to Teddy who nodded and took the phone off speaker, starting to talk to Carina, understanding exactly how horrible she must be feeling especially as none of this was of her making, while Maya and Chief Sato had a quick chat.

“Any clues?” asked the Chief, on hold with Dispatch while they determined what unit availability there was, relieved when he heard 19 were all on Standby at the Station and exercising his Shift Commander right to take them off the call list for five minutes so he knew he still had them available when he got to the scene.

“Two backup generators, one’s been down all Christmas, one was working. The Head Electrician was supposed to be looking this morning.”

“Um, he’s just being fired,” volunteered Ricky, looking at his phone, then feeling their stares on him. “Porters messaging group. He disrespected Dr DeLuca so she had a nurse and one of my friends take him to his boss’ office. He won’t last long.”

“Silver lining,” said Maya coldly, thinking about everything Carina had mentioned about the generators in the last couple of days. “My guess she’s now got neither working. The maintenance guy, Joey I think she said he was called, was working hard over the holiday to keep one on standby, but they’re old and diesel powered…” Maya trailed off, looking at her boss, both of them having the same idea. “...fuel spill? Low flash point?”

“What’s the generator backup for? And 19 are currently all units clear, Dispatch has given us a five minute window to call a still from here.”

“NICU. Roof mounted directly above.” 

Maya saw he had been logging into his fire department tablet, bringing up the building plans which she’d spent hours pouring over, finding it something she could do as a restful activity in the middle of far too quiet nights - Grey Sloan and the Airport were her first go tos, but she would circle through other sites and complex structures if they had a week of quiet shifts, seeing his eyes widen when he saw the problem. He may be Battalion Chief with decades more experience than her, but this was her District, and honestly? She knew the layout of the Grey Sloan rooftop plant equipment probably as well as she knew the pattern of freckles on her girlfriend’s shoulder blade, and she knew those  _ very  _ well. 

“Go, I’ll call 19 and coordinate with Dispatch.” She watched him and Teddy set off, leaving her, Ricky and her brother.

“Mas?” She turned to him, expecting to ask him to lend her his phone but it was already on speaker, ringing.

“Andy.” He said simply, exchanging a thumbs up with Ricky when he signalled he’d go find a wheelchair and be back.

* * *

  
  


“Hey Mason…” said Andy, wiping down the counter in the Beanery having just finished making herself a snack lunch. She’d been on an Aid Car call and had got back later than the rest of the guys so had missed the main lunch. “...how’s it going?”

_ “It’s Maya, Sato had Dispatch put you on a five minute hold.” _

“Why?” Even as she asked the question, Andy was methodically checking the equipment in the kitchen was all safely turned off.

_ “He’s doing the visual assessment while I start IC.”  _

“You’re less than 24 hours from nearly busting your ribs throwing up in a drug reaction Maya…” warned Andy, jogging to the locker rooms, relieved when she didn’t see any lockers open and didn’t hear any showers. “...wait, you’re at Grey Sloan…” Andy turned and in a sprint shot back to the break room, banging on the door for their attention and giving the universally understood signal to get a move on without asking questions. “...calling in a Still?”

  
  


_ “Grey Sloan NICU possible evacuation, elevated threat of roof fire....” _

  
  


“Evacuate the NICU?” Andy was already down the stairs. “That’s…” She abandoned her first plan of heading to check the kit store, hoping that was where Gibson was, instead crashing into the Captain’s Office. “...where’s the binder?” she asked, already scanning the shelves but knowing Maya would know.

_ “Top shelf, right side. Sato and I think there’s a diesel spill at their back up generators which are also not working.” _

“Got it, anything else we need?” asked Andy, knowing five seconds now could make a huge difference, scanning the shelves of the office for anything else. “And if they’re out of backups, that’s…”

_ “Lots of really tiny babies needing lots of electricity to keep them alive and there’s a storm forecast tonight? Yeah. Carina called me instead of 911. Bring the Green binder, you know the one, even if Sato came in his truck he’s not got it with him.” _

“Shit, that’s calling a 4 alarm Maya. And he took the SUV.” Andy obediently grabbed the second binder, knowing it was the Command checklist file a Captain took with them when being called up as incremental support for their biggest scenes, hearing the clattering of boots behind her as the rest of the team obediently followed the unusual protocol where they ran for the engine and ladder despite there not yet being the alarm, got kitted up, then mustered in line up ready for extra orders and details - like sprinters, held in the ‘get set’ position, waiting for the starter’s gun.

_ “I know. And I’m really hoping it isn’t needed, but the generators are directly above the NICU on the roof, not too far away from the Paediatric ICU and elevator housing...” _

* * *

Maya stopped talking, hearing Andy shouting for Miller to take the binders from her as she continued over to the alarm pull, the same alarm pull Emmett had reached for on Christmas Day.

“What’s ha…” Mason wasn’t sure what to make of his sister’s silence, finding the transformation that came over her fascinating and also a little bit frightening, but before he could fully ask, he heard Andy’s voice weirdly loud through the phone speaker followed by the repeating by Dispatch as, the Still Alarm called at the Station, the Chief’s hold ended and it became an active call. __

**_“Still Alarm. Grey Sloan Hospital NICU. Engine Nineteen. Ladder Nineteen. Battalion Chief 19.”_ **

“That’s loud…”

“Yeah. Gets us out of there fast…” Maya waited another second until the alarm had quietened a bit, probably because Andy had put the phone back to her ear, picturing her friend probably kicking into her kit amongst the flurry of arms and legs as everyone else did the same, with those already ready and experienced like Montogomery and Miller probably already starting to grab the extra hoses they’d be needing. “Andy? Carina said they’re old generators so...”

“Tools, yeah,” agreed Andy, knowing what her friend was thinking, grabbing the body going past her , relieved when she saw it was Jack already in his kit, presumably already down here like she thought. “Grab the extra tools and take the Chief’s truck. Generator failure and diesel spill, Sato’s on scene assessing, Bishop’s IC. We’ll prep and bring the rest. Take Warren and get him to take you to the Ward, there should be roof access from there.” 

She saw his eyes widen for a moment, less than a heartbeat before he’d pivoted mid stride and headed for the tool racks at the back of the kit store where they kept the tools they used in the Station to do the on-going light servicing of the engine and truck, yelling for Warren to come with him. 

“Gibson and Warren are coming now with tools...HUGHES PROBIE EXTRA FOAM PACKS SULLIVAN MONTGOMERY EXTRA HOSES! MILLER ROPE PACKS!” she called out, trying to remember anything else they should be taking in the five seconds she could spare to think about extra kit, since they knew what they were heading towards, not bothering to go and find them in line up to give the orders. “We’re coming…” said Andy, deciding there was nothing more they could bring at this stage, knowing they’d be soon getting other trucks joining them. “...shutters are up, will you…”

“Update Dispatch? Yeah, go.” 

Without any further ceremony, Maya ended the call and dialed another number from memory, though she took a moment to properly look at her brother, seeing his worries and reaching for his hand. Two quick squeezes then a long one, just like when they were kids, just like when they were rebuilding their relationship these last few days, and just like when he was a little kid scared by his nightmares, it made him smile and look a little less troubled. 

“This is Captain Maya Bishop of Station 19, yes, I’m well aware I was shot thank you, put me through to the Dispatch Supervisor.” She looked up when she saw Ricky reappearing with the wheelchair, waving him in, glad she’d managed to master getting herself from sitting up on the bed to sitting on the side of the bed, to standing, to sitting down in the wheelchair all on her own yesterday, so long as there was someone for her to occasionally use as a leaning post. “Hi, I’m calling with additional details about the 19 Still alarm at Grey Sloan?…Yes, suspected diesel fuel spill on the roof, possible vapour. 19 responding with ladder and additional foam and hose to position on roof, risk of roof fire...yes, for now I’m IC...no, I haven’t got eyes on because I’m sitting in a hospital bed recovering from 8 bullet wounds, three surgeries and I’ve forgotten how many broken bones!” 

This, she realised, gesturing to Mason to pass her the replacement bear she was now using to support her abdomen, Carina’s cap wearing bear returned to Carina’s office and a just as good but not as special substitute sourced from the hospital shop, was going to test her multitasking abilities….and temper.

  
  



	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody see that coming? ;-) 
> 
> Oh, and apologies Greys fans, but I did warn you in earlier chapters how I felt about Dr Lachman and that I might be taking a few liberties with building layout. Nothing's made me change my mind ;-)

“Carina?” Hearing Teddy’s voice through the cell phone and across the ward, Carina turned around and put her phone away.

“This is Joey Chief, he is the good maintenance person.”

“Hi, you mind showing me what the problem is?” He asked gently, gesturing for the lad who was probably not much older than the brand new cadets to show him up onto the roof to see the generators which he’d already heard from Dr DeLuca about as Dr Altman led him through the rabbit warren like maze of corridors and stairs as they zig-zagged their way through the hospital to get from Maya’s room to the OBGYN department. If Teddy or Carina noticed him pausing to pull two fire extinguishers from their slots on the wall as he passed them, they each decided not to draw attention to it.

“Maya’s on her way…” said Teddy, a little more winded than she liked, frustrated that she wasn’t as fit as she had been before she left Germany and had Alison.

“You were very quick…” said Carina, looking at the clock on the wall, glad the Chief and her friend had rushed, not certain Joey was coping all that well with her unconventional approach to calling the fire department. “Very quick...thank you for showing him the right way.”

“Of course. How bad is it?” 

She’d not heard the other side of the conversation the Chief had been having as they ran through the hospital, in fact had barely heard his end as she’d been concentrating on opening the doors and making sure they didn’t get lost as they ducked into staircases that didn’t quite align with the elevators, meaning on every floor she’d had to take a second to work out where they were. But now, looking at the clock that Carina had looked at, Teddy wasn’t feeling quite so bad about her breathlessness, as they seemed to have cut across the hospital in record time and at something closer to a dead sprint than a light jog. Maybe there was life in this old Major yet...

“If the power goes the individual unit batteries last only twenty minutes.” Carina rolled her shoulders, trying to stop the tension she could feel getting worse, seeing Teddy’s confusion. “They are on the same type of power supply as your ICU ventilators were before your building had the new wiring, which we do not have yet apparently.” That had been another unpleasant piece of news Carina had stumbled across this morning, having thought the NICU wiring had been redone last year along with all the other ICU critical circuits, so were still running off the old generators on the hospital roof rather than the new secondary backup powerlines coming up from the basement somehow.

“Why not?” 

Teddy tried to contain her shock - she remembered the horror of the old wiring, which would suddenly fail for no reason, forcing the medical equipment that was, ironically, connected to that power supply rather than the regular lights and wall sockets supply because it had been more reliable when the hospital buildings were last rewired, to switch to its batteries if the backups didn’t kick in. It had been a great relief, when she’d returned to the hospital from Germany to discover, amongst all the other changes, that the rewiring of these ‘uninterruptible’ power supplies was underway and, by the time she had got herself settled enough to start noticing these sorts of things, saw that her wards were already rewired and the backups were hardly ever needed, nevermind the individual unit batteries.

“Because Cormac was told OBGYN oversaw the NICU and Lachman had not…” Carina shrugged. “...noticed it came back to her when Arizona left? I do not know. But no one noticed that the NICU still has the old wiring and so we keep getting all the little wobbles in the storms, so we must still we use the backup generators on the roof because we cannot have the new backup without the new wiring which is stupido because you on the new wiring have no problems and never use your backup while here we…” She forced herself to take a breath before her temper saw her take off in Italian and leave Teddy behind. “Which is why the nurses are happier when both are working because with the weather how it has been and is going to be? We will be needing the backup.” 

“That’s…” Teddy wasn’t quite sure what to say to that, but found she didn’t need to because Carina, in a very rarely seen display of out and out temper, kicked at the trash can under the desk, making it clatter against the desk. 

“I know we are only ostetricia e ginecologia, not you big heroes in cardiologia o oncologia but why is everything allowed to be so, so squishy?”

“Squishy?” Teddy wasn’t anything like as good as Maya was at working out which word Carina had missed, but was also somewhat surprised to hear the Italian saying ‘squishy’ in the first place, not sure how she’d come across it.

“Si! Squishy? Like soft and weak? Maya’s complaining her muscles are going to go squishy. And my department is...”

“Soft and weak?” Teddy knew she shouldn’t smile at her friend’s linguistic struggles, knowing from having to get her German going again when she went to Germany that Carina’s English was exceptional, but it was an interesting mental picture as to what a ‘squishy’ department might look like, with Teddy for some reason starting to picture patients resembling jelly babies.

“That is not a word that works?”

“Not really. Not sure what word does work to be honest.”

“What would you say?”

“Shit,” said Teddy honestly, seeing Carina’s eyebrow raise. “If my ventilators kept switching to backup power that was useless? Shit would probably be my starting point and I wouldn’t stop for quite some time.”

Carina saw Nina end her phone call and pass Carina a note to read. “Grazie. The right people to manage this ‘incident’ are coming…” 

The two surgeons watched as Nina and Anna then set off to go and do what they needed to do to prepare for what could turn out to be nothing, or could turn out to be a major incident...but right now, their first priority was making sure that while the staff knew what to prepare for, their patients stayed as unaware as possible. 

“...whatever that means.” 

She muttered something rather uncomplimentary in Italian about why these ‘right people’ couldn’t have paid attention a little sooner, but at least glad that the right people to talk to the fire department would be taking over. What was it Maya had said? She should look after the sick patients and let the firefighters look after the sick generators...and hopefully sort out the people who the doctors were supposed to be able to trust not to let their generators get sick in the first place.

“You cannot say your department is shit if there are patients around no?”

“Oh no, then your two best friends become ‘inefficient’ and ‘unreliable’.” Teddy very nearly laughed at her friend’s look of dawning realisation as suddenly lots of conversations she’d been an observer to in her time at the hospital took on whole new meanings now she was starting to understand the ‘diplomatic’ language they had to use.

“Ah, so why is everything allowed to be so inefficient and unreliable here? Is it because we are not you big heroes?”

“Shouldn’t be,” agreed Teddy, not sure what else she could say just now, but knowing there had been something about one of Carina’s patients needing her in her call to Maya so Teddy figured just talking to her friend until she no longer wanted to practice soccer with the trash can probably was helping. And maybe another time help her friend see that the ‘big hero’ departments heads had a lot of ‘inefficient and unreliable’ moments too, though admittedly not on this scale this early with everything else that Carina was having to juggle. 

“But clearly someone took their eye off the ball, or lots of someones did.” Not to mention that now she’d had to get her mind around a bit more of the gynecology element of Carina’s role because of Maya’s bullet number 4, Teddy was not that comfortable having Carina not include her own specialty in the ‘heroes’ group, prepared to admit she’d probably been a bit arrogant and dismissive of the speciality before, but not now. Another epiphany to be shared with Carina at another time, preferably with alcohol.

“What ball? And who’s eye? Lachman?”

“Not literal, I just meant a number of people each stopped paying attention to something they thought was a small thing and it’s all combined to be a really big thing for you today.” 

“And it is shit,” said Carina succinctly, surprising her friend. “What? You know I know the swear words in English  _ and _ Italian.”

“Yeah, but usually you do the ‘in the moment’ swearing in Italian. It’s just different hearing you saying the English swear words…”

“With my temper showing?” Carina understood, and found it amusing in spite of being extremely anxious about the state of her NICU, as it had been seven minutes since Joey and Nina told her they now had no backups, and she had no idea if the NICU units were currently on the main circuit or using their precious battery power. “Si, I would still call that head electrician who made the situation worse a segaiolo and let you translate it.”

“Oh, the greasy guy? He’s definitely a wanker, think I heard Ricky say he’s being fired now.” Teddy had seen the Head Electrician around before and was not going to miss him.

“Si? That is good...Ben!” Carina looked past Teddy, seeing Ben and Jack arriving. She knew, as Teddy did, that the firefighters were quick, but seeing it this directly? That, they would agree much later when their collective heart beats and blood pressures had lowered, was very impressive.

“Hi Carina, everyone else is coming, where’s the Chief?”

“On the roof, the stairs are I think at the end…”

“Right, I’ll…” Ben gestured to Jack he’d keep going with the tools, only to momentarily head in the wrong direction but it became clear to everyone why when he pulled out another fire extinguisher from the wall and set off with it.

“The babies ok Doc?” asked Jack, zipping up his jacket ready to go back out into the sleet that had started somewhere between them leaving the Station and arriving at the hospital two minutes later, moving in the same direction Ben had to grab another fire extinguisher, making sure he left the ones nearest the nurses station, just in case.

“Si. They are connected to the main power but that is unreliable in bad weather and the generators are usually needed for two or three hours in twenty-four. And I do not know if any of the generators are working because Joey said they cannot be turned on because there is now the risk they go boom.”

“Joey?”

“Scusa, our department’s maintenance person. He had been keeping the one working one healthy then his boss just made it worse. He is up there showing Chief Sato now. And the...” She looked at the note Nina had given her again, reading the bit the nurse had labelled ‘tell the fire department’. “...Incident Management Protocol has been activated and…”

“That’s all I need to know Doc, is Cap…” 

“Si, Maya is coming.”

“Thought she might.” He pulled a second radio out of his pocket that he’d grabbed from the Chief’s truck when he remembered it had a charging rack in it that fortunately was full of radios ready to be used. “She knows what to do with this.” He pointed to the paper she was holding. “And she’ll know what to do with that. We’ll sort this out for you Doc. The others are coming too, but you won’t see them,” said Jack, looking round and suddenly connecting ‘NICU’ and ‘OBGYN’ with tiny babies and heavily pregnant women, neither of which were the sort of group of people who appreciated firefighters carrying equipment through their space and thinking she might feel a bit better if he let her know they already knew that and would only be coming up the same way he and Warren had if it was absolutely necessary. “They’re going up another way, keep it quieter for your patients. Can’t promise no one else will come this way, but we’ll keep it as quiet as we can.” 

“Ah, grazie Jack.” Carina felt her breathing shift a little easier again. It wasn’t as good as having Maya telling her it was all going to be alright, but she knew Maya’s team were very good and while Jack was still not her best friend at the Station, she had long since got over her anger with him and, after what happened while Maya was in surgery on Tuesday night, she now no longer distinguished him from the rest of her girlfriend’s A shift friends.

“Oh, last questions…” he said, about to set off then thinking of something else that would be good to know. “...can the babies go anywhere else? Like, as a backup plan?”

“Si, but it will take time to organise and would mean telling the parents, and some are…” She made a ‘so-so’ hand gesture, trying to explain that these were their most vulnerable patients. “...this is the ICU for the babies whose age is measured in hours Jack, not the nursery or Paediatric ICU.” She saw his frown. “I am not saying I cannot move them, but I am saying that I cannot move them quickly.”

“Aren’t…”

“Paediatrics is further along, si, with the bigger babies and children, but a baby that is below 28 days of development is my responsibility although you have not heard me talk about it.” 

Sometimes it wasn’t OBGYN’s responsibility to manage the NICU. Certainly, when she’d arrived and agreed to take on patients, she’d been very glad Arizona was getting so excited by fetal and neonatal surgery, not sharing Addison’s passion for it, but Arizona wasn’t here anymore and somewhere along the line it seemed to have reverted back to OBGYN without anyone noticing. Given also she was more focused on the GYN aspect of the specialism, when she had been ‘just’ the Attending, she had attracted the more complex gynaecological cases rather than the neonatal cases, perhaps explaining why Jack was surprised to see it was her responsibility now, with there being more experienced Attendings in Cormac’s department for their specific treatment, But that had not seen the official accountability for the NICU pass to him, explaining Carina’s current predicament with no one having appeared to pay any attention.

“Some of them? They are very tiny.” She tried to think of a way to get him to understand, knowing he was asking because he wanted to help, and helping meant knowing what and who was stuck. “...the ‘youngest’ one is a little boy I delivered the morning Maya was admitted. He was delivered at 24 weeks. So he is one week old but still many weeks from being able to leave the NICU.”

“That’s…” Jack was dumbstruck.

“Si, he is still very tiny was supposed to be an Easter baby not a Christmas one. But Jack, He is a fighter.” She saw him look a little confused and, despite everything, and to Teddy’s and his surprise, she laughed. “Scusa, the little baby boy, he is also called Jack, like you Lt Gibson. It is a good name for a brave boy no?” she teased, pleased when she saw him grin. 

“So if we ask you to move them you could but we have to really need it?”

“Per favore. For Some? The moving could be too much, so I will only do it if staying is a definite finito for them. And we would need your help because these units are moveable but not portable.”

“Meaning?”

“They are fixed to the floor and do not have wheels. It needs tools, temporary oxygen, nurses and strength to move them. But I have moved these types of units before, so it is not a no. If you say I must, then they will move, but where to becomes the new problem.” She hoped she was being helpful but couldn’t help but worry she was maybe coming across as defensive or obstructive, which was not her intention,

“Understood Doc, I’ll pass it on. It’ll be ok.” And, with a smile that Carina used to find extremely irritating but now only found amusing and reassuring, he turned and in a handful of long strides was suddenly in an empty corridor and, once he sensed that he was out of the view of the patients, flat out running towards the stairs up to the roof.

“Was that…”

“Maya’s ex that I told you about at the coffee cart? Si.” Carina looked at her friend with a knowing smirk. “I cannot object to Maya’s taste in men, he is…” She raised an eyebrow at Teddy, knowing her friend knew, albeit by discovering at a rather inappropriate moment in the middle of her labour, that Carina’s ex was her daughter’s father.

“Not ginger?”

“Si.” Carina only just managed to contain her humour behind a smirk, recognising the urge to laugh was more hysteria than hysterical amusement.

“I thought you hated him?”

“At the coffee cart? Very much so. Since then I became...it was difficult, because he is a very good firefighter and Maya is safer working with very good firefighters she knows and trusts. There was only so long an anger can last when it is directed at someone I trust her life with.”

“ _ Was _ difficult?” Teddy understood the challenge of staying angry with someone you wanted to hate but were dependent on to keep either yourself or someone else alive - there had been soldiers she’d happily never be in the same room with inside their bases, but were extremely grateful were in the same vehicles as Owen and the others when they were outside the camp.

“Did you see his hand?”

“The one he was trying not to grip anything with? Yeah. Not broken surely?” Teddy had automatically clocked that he never took the bag off his shoulder, and when he zipped up his jacket and passed Carina the radio, his grip was more of a trapping objects against his palm with his thumb and little finger, which was a technique she recognised from soldiers who were waiting for bruised hands and undeclared broken fingers to heal.

“No, the x-rays were clear, it is just very bad swelling and cuts on the knuckles of the middle three fingers but with a week of ice it will be almost fine.”

“A week?” Teddy thought back a week, her eyes widening. “He punched someone while I was operating on Maya?”

“Si. Another firefighter, broke their nose. Maya does not know.” Carina sat down heavily on the edge of the desk, her body reminding her she was going to have to start a long surgery within the hour and that standing when she could sit was stupido. “He went for a walk, came back and was hiding his hand. Ben tried to get him to show him and Jack got angry. Things were said and then, when the silence was too much I took him to x-ray for the pictures. We talked as I cleaned and stitched his knuckles...and why it is not strictly true to say that I did not know about the tension and the atmosphere before Bailey and Andy told Maya about it when we were all together. But I did not know about what was causing the bigger problem, just that it was strange enough for Jack to punch...though I had forgotten about that all when I saw Maya in recovery, and only remembered after you had all left after the team visited.”

“Entirely understandable, you had a lot to cope with…don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Grazie.”

“So now it is not difficult with him?” guessed Teddy, knowing now wasn’t the time to ask Carina what they talked about or why it was that Jack Gibson had punched another firefighter. She was still trying to work out how Robert Sullivan’s face managed to look like it had met someone’s fist around about the same time, though that seemed to have involved cops somehow, rather than just firefighters. 

“It is…” There was a phrase Carina remembered being told, by one of the nurses that spoke Italian, that summarised how she now felt towards Jack Gibson after that strange hour she spent with him, hearing about what had happened, understanding why he punched a fellow firefighter so hard their nose broke. “...si, bygones being bygones. He will never be my best friend, but he is not someone to feel negative about.”

“Must have been some punch…” Teddy sensed that while there might be more that could be said on the subject, that was all Carina would be saying, so wisely dropped it. “Based on that smile, I’m guessing my patient’s just arrived for a visit?” she teased, always struck by how Carina’s whole demeanour changed when she saw Maya.

“Si...oh.” Carina never took her eyes from her girlfriend, standing up and being spotted by Mason first, who directed Ricky that he’d turned the wrong way out of the elevator. “Why were you visiting Maya when I called? She is ok?”

“Just a social call…” promised Teddy, deciding not to mention the flowers which Maya had obviously left in her room. But since she’d brought her brother, the surgeon decided she could leave her under the joint supervision of Mason and Carina and head back to her own ward. “...remind Mason he’s not to let her overdo it if she insists on staying?”

“We have beds and my office has a couch, but if the radio will reach her room I will send her there,” said Carina, under no illusions that Maya was still at the bare minimum level of healed to be dressed and out of bed, nevermind doing anything more strenuous. “I...will get better at this, being the boss I mean.”

“Please don’t get too much better?” asked Teddy, giving Carina a quick hug, adding in a quiet voice when their heads were close together. “You’re already showing the rest of us up, and after this morning’s presentation? Maggie and I have already talked about doing a similar analysis of our procedure rates.”

“Grazie Teddy…” Carina returned the hug, grateful for her friend’s support. “...this was not my plan for the year.”

“It’s only 6 days old…” teased Teddy pulling back. “...plenty of time to get back to puppies and making us all look even more ordinary than you currently do...you know where I am, we’re all here for you and if you need to move the NICU I’ve…” She did some quick thinking. “...got a three bed room I’ll clear and block. Won’t take everyone but it’ll be a start, especially if you want to move them in stages. And I’ll see if the others can free some spaces too…”

* * *

  
  


“Ah, cool. Mas? Grab that radio on the counter for me will you?” asked Maya, deciding not to interrupt her girlfriend’s hug with Teddy, but spotting the radio that was clearly sitting waiting for her.

“Sure.”

“You want to stand up Captain?” asked Ricky, putting the brakes on the wheelchair now they were not in the middle of the corridor, not sure what their plan was but knowing from other patients he’d pushed in wheelchairs that sitting in one with your foot in an air boot wasn’t the most comfortable. “Or wait for Dr DeLuca?”

“Can we wait please but put my feet down? Oh, and don’t…”

“Mention the flowers? Sure thing,” he agreed, understanding how special the flowers were after hearing her explaining them to her brother as they made their way across the hospital as it was something to talk about that seemed to help him calm down, hell, it helped Ricky calm down too, hearing her talk so matter of factly about how she’d just turn the surprise into something over dinner. Because clearly, while the rest of them were starting to try not to panic in front of patients, if the Captain was thinking about whether her girlfriend’s favourite take out pick when they were at home would deliver to the hospital for her, they had to be going to be ok right? 

“Left foot first Captain,” he prompted, crouching down and helping her get her feet on the floor, though all he had to do was move the foot rests out of the way and let her know when she could lower her foot to the floor each time. “And I’m sure any of us would run out and collect that take-out for you.”

“Thanks Ricky.”

“You good with one hand?” asked Mason, holding out the radio, knowing she couldn’t use her lap to keep things in at the moment.

“Can you take your phone back first?” she asked, holding out his phone for him to reclaim. “And is…”

“Yours still with Teddy? Think so, but I’ll chase her for it if she forgets as she goes past.” He took his phone out of her left hand then put the radio in it, turning it round so he was giving it to her the way she wanted.

“Thanks.” Maya glanced at the top of the radio, checking the channel, then clicked open the line. “Bishop to Sato? What’s your status?”

* * *

  
  


“Dr Altman?” called out Ricky, seeing Mason’s plan to chase the surgeon might be necessary as she’d headed a different way, clearly not planning on using the elevators. Quickly checking the brakes again, not wanting the Captain rolling into the wall, he jogged to catch up to the tall surgeon.

“Everything ok Ricky?”

“With the Captain? Sure, she was very careful and is waiting for Dr DeLuca before deciding if she’s standing up. And I don’t know how you’re feeling, but I kinda felt better hearing her planning what take-out she wants to surprise the doctor with for dinner.”

“Good.” Teddy thought about the take-out comment. “Yeah, you’re right. That does help...” She waited for him to get to his real point for chasing after her. 

“Could the Captain have her cell phone back?”

“Hmm? Oh!” Teddy went through her pockets until she found Maya’s cell phone. “You’re staying with her?” she checked, holding the phone between them.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to stay with her as long as she’s not in her room, and Dr Bailey made it quite clear in her room meant in the bed unless a doctor was with her, though...”

“I knew you turning up all the time was something to do with Bailey…” muttered Teddy, smiling as she handed him Maya’s phone. “Thank you Ricky. There’s a chance she might end up staying here for a while, depends how things go, but please try to help her brother keep her from overdoing it. And if you need to go elsewhere, I’m sure Dr DeLuca is equal to the task of making Maya stay in one place.”

“I’ll do my best Doctor, but the Captain is…” He wasn’t quite sure what to say next, but hoped she understood.

“Yes,” agreed Teddy, understanding what he wasn’t saying, smiling supportively, in total agreement but equally short of the words. “She certainly is.”

* * *

“Ciao…” The relief Carina felt seeing Maya was immense.

“I give my best hugs standing up.”

“Si, but you…”

“...have been sitting still since you last saw me and my girlfriend is having a shitty first day. The way I see it, there’s the one upside of my situation and that’s I’m here and able to give you a hug rather than being up on the roof in the sleet and wind, so I can give you a hug if you would like one? Or does that ruin the big bad boss image too quickly? Cos I could always set off for the roof if you’d rather?” To her relief, her teasing saw Carina’s face twitch and the start of a grin begin to show. “Is that a yes to a hug?”

“Si, grazie…” Carina watched as Maya passed the radio to her brother. “Bene?” she asked, watching with pride as Maya squeezed the nose of her new bear and stood up, reaching for Carina when she was standing, wobbling a little as she adjusted to balancing in the air boot. “You are getting very good at that. And I think we will need to try bears here...”

“I’m very good at a lot of things…” joked Maya, waiting for Mason to move the wheelchair back a bit so she could move her feet a little bit, grateful for the firm grip she had on her girlfriend’s forearm and realising she felt calmer when it was Ricky moving the wheelchair. “...the Chief said he’s coming down, Jack is in charge up there and Andy’s on the ground.”

“Jack left the radio for you. And said I was to give you this?”

“I was wondering who that was that brought a spare...did you just see him?” Maya felt the tension in Carina’s arm, tension that wasn’t just explained by being Maya’s standing support. She read the note. “Thanks. I, um…” Maya looked at the radio, wondering how to work the radio, but Carina took it from Mason and held it in front of Maya’s right hand.

“Point at the button you need me to push.”

“That one, need to hold it down when I’m talking.”

“Right, Mason and I can do that.”

“Thanks.” Maya nodded, and Carina held up the radio, pressing the button. “Bishop to 19, Incident Management Protocol has been activated by the hospital, Herrera, look for the Co-ordinator trying to make contact, guess they’ll be the one in the hi vis with a clipboard. Medical Liaison is…” She raised her eyebrows and shook her head, not sure if they were blessed or unlucky. “Chief Bailey.” She nodded to Carina to release the button and then listened as they all heard the acknowledgements coming in.

“How are you doing? Has anyone seen you since the Chief? Apart from Jack?” asked Maya, starting to draw aimless patterns on Carina’s back, not liking how tense it felt considering she needed to go do a surgery that she was clearly already a bit concerned about, trying to work out how to constructively tell her girlfriend she didn’t have anything to worry about, that they’d look after everyone and everything for her.

“Ben came through the ward too, but Jack said the others would go another way to keep it quiet for the patients.” Carina frowned. “But I cannot think of another set of stairs that would take them onto the roof...what?”

“We travel with our own set of stairs for times like this.”

“Eh?” Carina took a second to untangle Maya’s word puzzle, reassured when Mason looked as confused. “The ladder on the truck? The big one?” Maya nodded, pleased that something as ordinary as reminding her girlfriend that firefighters used ladders was able to distract her. “It is long enough to reach the roof?”

“It’s supposed to be, and just about reached, once we got it parked up the right way round,” explained Sato, joining them, looking rather cold and damp. “Definitely a storm coming,” he said, seeing Maya’s eyes taking in his wet uniform, feeling guilty that he’d not had his turnout coat with him because he’d just been visiting her for a few minutes. “And yeah, probably should have gone and got my turnout once the others arrived but it was a bit late.”

“Nina?” Carina caught sight of her nurse.

“Yes Doctor?”

“Can we get a towel from the warmer for the Chief please? And a scrub shirt to wear under his jacket while we dry his uniform shirt.” asked Carina, not wanting to have to add Chief Sato to the patient roster. “Ah, no arguing Chief, this is my department causing you to get cold and wet, and the warmers work very well.” She looked him up and down with a critical eye. “And you making puddles on my floors does not make the day easier.” Especially if he was making a puddle right where Maya might decide to step.

“Thank you, a warm towel would be good. Should you be standing Captain?”

“It’s more comfortable than the wheelchair. Oh, thanks Ricky, give it to Mason please.” Maya watched as her brother took over cell phone and radio holding duties and Ricky regained control of the wheelchair, moving it fully away from her legs. “Thanks.” Maya moved into a slightly different position, one where she could wrap her left arm around Carina more comfortably and give her a one armed hug, her right hand still using the teddy bear against her tummy for a mixture of supporting her abdominal muscles and helping to immobilise her shoulder and protect her ribs. “You heard?”

“Chief Bailey and someone with hi vis and a clipboard, I’ll go say hi in a minute.” He looked at Carina. “Not sure how much the Captain tells you about how we do things, but we plan for the worst and try and have extra stuff even then, ok?”

“Si, like surgery.” Carina nodded her head, understanding his message - she would not panic at his update.

“Right now we’re assessing the fuel leak - you were right, it’s diesel and thermal is showing the roof temp is mid 80s and rising...and that’s with the sleet falling on it. Thanks.” He took the towel from Nina and rubbed his face and hair with it, then started on his hands before shrugging out of his jacket and taking off his shirt which fortunately, hadn’t yet soaked through to his under-shirt, which was why he appreciated the scrub shirt as a fresh dry layer.

“That’s warm…” Maya didn’t like the sound of that - the roof should be cooler if it was properly insulated, especially considering it was an overcast day and cold enough for sleet and there was roof mounted equipment as well. “Vapour risk? There’s some sort of parapet isn’t there?”

“Yeah - gusting strongly at waist height, so they’re now clipping on, but below knee height it’s still air apart from the vortexes from the fans.”

“Which are hot?”

“Yeah. So we’re hoping low but assuming high. We’ve dumped a lot of foam up there right now and pumping lots more up.” He looked down at his feet, Maya’s eyes following his. “Yeah, lots of foam - at least there were a couple of extinguishers up there and between me, Gibson and Warren we got another four on it, and don’t quote me, but I think we’ll find out you guys have nicked another department record with the first hoses up the ladder.” he said seeing the damp marks on his uniform pants. “Remind me to wear my bunker gear next time I visit you for afternoon tea.”

“What does this mean for the bambini per favore?” Carina was sensing from the part of the conversation and reading Maya’s body language that now the firefighters were here they were not quite so close to ‘Boom’, but she still had a lot of very vulnerable babies in the NICU that was, in her opinion, too dependent on its ‘backup’ power for her liking.

“Right now both your generators are disconnected. Even if one of them was working, which we don’t think is the case, I can’t let them run because of the diesel vapour risk.”

“That’s the boom worry Joey had?”

“Yes. Diesel vapour is the main worry - it doesn’t need to be very concentrated to ignite and there are hot spots on the roof that are too close to the flashpoint range to just rely on the cold air temperatures.”

“That’s why they’ve put all the foam down,” explained Maya, realising that even the Chief’s simplified explanation hadn’t filled in all the gaps to give her girlfriend a full enough picture, automatically listening to his radio conversation at the same time. “The vapour wants to sink, so it would sit nearer the warm roof, but it still needs oxygen, so if there’s foam there’s no oxygen.”

“Ah. Is the vapour because of the fuel leak?”

"Probably, but we’re still working out which generator was the hot one and which one has the big fuel leak.” He saw her face fall. “...yes, your working generator is warm still, Joey thinks it’s already run for about an hour today but that might also be explaining some of the vapour...but that doesn’t really matter because either way we have a plan.”

“Si? Is this plan a long one? The batteries in the NICU units last only 20 minutes and if it is longer than that I must start to think about moving…but you said they are disconnected so...” Carina took a breath, trying to remind herself not to get ahead of the moment, focusing on the feeling of Maya’s hand rubbing on her back, reminding her that this was what her girlfriend did every day, solve these sorts of problems with her team and George Sato, and if Maya was able rub her back, it must mean there was something quick about this plan.

“All the time I was up there you were running on main power. When we disconnected your generators we kept the switch in, so we will know if the main power goes and you start to run on batteries. And we will hear on the radio if the switch moves.”

Carina visibly relaxed at that - it didn’t help her much, as they she’d be depleting the precious batteries, but at least she’d then know, unlike the last few days when they were only discovering how dependent they were on the backups because of Joey’s constant reports to Nina about what he was having to do to keep the generator ready, which explained Maya could still feel the extra tense muscles in her girlfriend’s back under her fingers as she tried to reassure her - it was only a cosmetic improvement, though it would ease the anxiety of the nurses continually worrying in case they missed the battery light on the units. 

“We have lots of plans we’re doing up on the roof right now,” said the Chief, sharing a look with Maya that she understood - they were going to need longer than the time the NICU unit batteries would last in order to be satisfied they had sorted out the diesel risk. “Can we bring a trolley of equipment through the ward please rather than carry it up our ladder? We’re...struggling to get agreement at the ground.”

“Si…whatever you need, I know you understand about the patients.”

“Our generator?” Maya’s thoughts were ahead of his, having thought about that immediately. “But It’s not…”

“Big enough? The portable one on the ladder isn’t, but we’ve checked the specs with Joey and Fred? The Head of Maintenance I think?” Carina nodded, recognising the name Nina had said. “We’ve then checked those specs against the Power Units and 25 are bringing some that we can rig in a way that’s compatible. They’re...” He looked at his tablet, checking the timeline. “...one minute out.”

“25? You getting the foam truck too?”

“Yeah. Which is why 19 now have every line open on their engine pumping foam - good job they brought the extra foam packs. 88’s coming in with their Ladder and Engine, joining 23’s Engine to balance out on the other side.” He looked around, wincing slightly as his radio burst into life, Maya having turned hers down after she’d radioed him, more interested in that moment in seeing how Carina was doing. “I need…”

“Go, I can sort the routing and send them on if you don’t come up with them and explain.” 

“Do I need to start moving babies?” asked Carina, watching the Chief go, wanting to know what to do.

“No, that’s what we’re sorting out first for you. Ricky?”

“Yes Captain?”

“Can you get some friends of yours to meet the Chief, my Chief…” Maya tried to picture the layout of the hospital and where the Chief might be sending the guys from Station 25 on the Power Unit. “...in the Service Bay that’s not already got a giant fire truck with a big ladder in it?”

“You mean the one along from the Ambulance drop off?”

“That’s the one,” agreed Maya, finally getting herself orientated again.

“Sure, they need to know anything in particular?”

“Firefighters are strong but what they’re bringing up is heavy, even for us so a bit of path clearing and helping find the way would be good. Oh and knowing that for once we go ahead of patients in the elevators as this is power for NICU. Any doctors object, they complain to Chief Bailey.” He nodded and went to the nurses’ station, picking up the phone and making a call while texting on his phone.

“Bella? You know what is happening?”

“Yeah, so….” Maya carefully took a calming breath, trying to switch her brain out of full on firefighter mode so she could explain a bit more clearly for Carina, knowing that would help her calm down, and Carina being calm would keep her staff calm, which would keep the patients calm and...so Maya took another breath. “...we’re not bothering to work out what might be causing the fuel vapour or where the fuel spill has come from, we’re just shutting down anything on the roof that might be responsible for it and making it as hard as possible for any fuel to ignite by using foam. And because it sounds like the roof insulation isn’t brilliant in that section, so the heat inside the building is making it warm, we’re going to put a lot of foam down. So much that all the water in 19’s engine is being used to put foam on the roof, and there’s a hydrant where the ladder’s parked up that’s helping to make foam too with the extra foam packs we have. But just to be sure we’re bringing in another truck from Station 25 that’s like a foam factory, that we can connect to a hydrant and make as much foam as we want.”

“Because the more foam there the harder it is for boom?”

“Yeah.” 

Boom was horribly imprecise for a fire captain, but as a girlfriend Maya was very happy she had a word she could use that meant she wasn’t spelling out that what they were really concerned about was the whole roof of the hospital starting to burn and needing to do an evacuation of whole floors. 

“But…” added Maya, grinning when she saw Carina close her mouth again and nod, conceding that yes, she would have interrupted otherwise. “...since the first thing we did was disconnect your generators, and we can’t reconnect them for you until we’ve dealt with all the mess we’ve now made up there, and that’s going to take a while, certainly longer than the batteries would last, they’ve checked what sort of power supply you would need and so we’re bringing in some generators for you that we’re going to connect up as your new backup and are able to power the NICU units for as long as it takes until we’re able to turn your proper back up is turned on by us.” At least, as long as the roof they were putting them on wasn’t on fire of course, which was why the ‘no boom’ part of the plan was so important and why…Maya looked around, yeah, someone needed to get some more fire extinguishers for this floor because theirs were all up on the roof.

“But my backup isn’t turned off by you, it is broken, by us.”

“Yeah, but we’re...bending the rules a little,” said Maya, keeping an eye on the elevators, knowing from the looks she’d shared with the Chief that he was tiptoeing a fine line that no one would disagree with given what was at stake, but it was still best not to shout too loudly about it. “If we say we have to shut down your backup supply because of a fire risk we need to make safe, we have the discretion to provide temporary assistance and solve the problem we’re created by calling for the guys at Station 25 to bring in extra power for you.”

“And the bending is because it is our fault?”

“Something like that…” Maya knew that Carina was like her in terms of not disrespecting the rules or seeking special treatment, so paused to see how she could reassure her that this wasn’t that. “But there is something you said that’s made this not even a bend, more of a squinty reading.”

“Oh?”

“Reminding us that this is the backup to the NICU - you agreed you would move the babies if we asked you to, but you told us that there was a risk to the babies’ lives if you did have to move them. We turn off your backup because of the risk to our lives in order to make saving people safer. But if we can’t turn your backup on in under 20 minutes, we are risking the lives we’re trying to save, which gives us a new problem…” She saw Carina understood her now.

“And you solve problems that are creating threats to life,” said Carina, thinking back to a very early conversation they’d had when she’d been trying to understand why fire was far from the only type of call Maya responded to. “You are just ignoring that when you arrived and turned off my back up it was already broken?”

“Pretty much. We won’t tell if you won’t?” Maya also had a hunch that, depending who brought the generators out from 25, they might also find a way of fixing Carina’s generators for her once the fire threat had passed, or at least not disconnecting their generators until there was a better solution in place, but that was a definite rule bend and firmly in the ‘do not talk about’ part of the unwritten part of the fire department handbook.

“These temporary generators? That’s what they’re bringing up through the ward?”

“Yeah, each one weights…” Maya for once did the mental arithmetic for Carina, converting her pounds to kilogrammes. “100-130.”

“Pounds?”

“Kilos. 220-290lbs, that’s the worst case, depends which ones they’re using, but either way.” Maya listened to the radio for a moment. “They’re here, and coming up in two goes. Ricky? Can you show them where the roof access is when they get here?”

“That’s very heavy, even for you.”

“We can take them up the ladders if we have to, but they’re the wrong shape to make it easy going and our ladder needs to be fairly upright to reach the roof here…” Still leaning against Carina, Maya looked towards the elevator, seeing a firefighter exiting it. “Ah, over here Sato!”

“That’s not the Chief…”

“No, it’s his big nephew.”

“Captain!” George Sato’s elder nephew, aka ‘big nephew’ because he was the taller, broader Sato nephew that graduated the Fire Academy in the year before Maya and Andy did, alongside his cousin, the ‘small nephew’ because he was, well, smaller than his cousin, headed over to her, trusting his crew to manoeuvre the heavily laden trolley out of the elevator, not quite believing his Uncle when he’d heard she was helping with a bit of IC. “Wow, you look…”

“Alive?”

“Tall.”

“Funny.” He’d been a good friend to her and Andy at the Academy, and while they didn’t stay in constant touch ever since, Maya took his laid back teasing in her stride. “Whatever you do, don’t even think about hugging me. Thanks for this, glad it’s you.”

“Course, Uncle said something about we’re going to be keeping the juice flowing to the really tiny babies?”

“Si, the fire risk is connected with the backup power for the NICU incubators...these are the babies we measure life in hours and days.” Carina took Maya’s hint, and carefully highlighted, without over-emphasising, how dangerous it would be to have to move her patients or try and run the unit without proper power, understanding from all the mention of ‘foam’ which she now knew they used on fuel fires, that this was being treated by Maya and the Chief as a fire risk not a fuel spill, so adjusting her language accordingly. She might be way out of her comfort zone and speciality, but that did not make her stupid.

“They’re the preemies Sats, umm this is Dr DeLuca, she’s the Head of Department.” She caught his look and blushed, knowing he’d been witness to a fair few of her ‘self-care Wednesday’ nights out in the pre-Carina era. 

“Good to meet you Doc, you delivered the triplets in 42’s Aid Car Christmas Eve...” That had made her a total legend as far as most of the department were concerned once they heard about that, nevermind anything after that.

“Si, they are three of the babies in the NICU right now.” Carina could anticipate his next question, understanding she would be forever associated with certain events for all firefighters. “But the twins born at Station 19 on Christmas Day have gone home with their mother.”

“We’ll make sure the lights stay on for the little ones,” he promised, not needing to ask if she was the Dr DeLuca the Captain was going out with, as the Captain was making that pretty clear from how she was tucked against her side, and he couldn’t help but smile at how right they looked as a couple, just like his uncle had said when they’d quizzed him about it all after they’d watched him at the press conference. “Ah, here’s the rest of us, we’ll go get these hooked up for you. Chief said something about a 20 minute limit?”

“The batteries in the NICU units Sats. While the backups off, if main power goes, that’s how long they can self support.”

“We’re still on main right now?”

“Yeah, Gibson’s maintaining eyes on watch, there’ll be an all radios call to start the clock if it trips.”

“Alrighty, nice to meet you Dr DeLuca, we’ll go get these guys mounted and wired in for you.” He zipped up his jacket. “Stay tall for her Captain.”

“Grazie.”

“Trying to Sats.” And, with a nod to his teammates, they pushed their heavy kit laden trolleys down the corridor, following Ricky to where the door to the stairs to the roof was.

“Bishop to Gibson.” Mason had worked out which button to press and had held the radio for Maya to speak into, knowing that there was no way she was letting go from Carina, or vice versa.

_ “Gibson to Bishop. You made it. What’s up?” _

“25 just arriving at the roof stairs now Jack, you remember Sats?”

_ “Sato’s big nephew? Sure. I send Miller and Warren to help them, Gibson out.” _

“You know him well?” asked Carina, not quite sure what happened now.

“He was the year between Jack and me at the Academy. He’s also a qualified electrician, which is why he leads the Power Unit squad.” Maya was relieved to see it was him on shift, as between him and the Chief, if there was any way of fixing the hospital generators, they’d find a way to get it done. “It’s going to take a while to sort out everything, but it’s going to be ok…” promised Maya, wishing once again she could use her right arm to properly hug Carina.

“I feel…” 

The magnitude of what was happening, what the scale of the response from the Fire Department was, what the reality would be if they couldn’t get the power sorted out, started to hit Carina in waves and waves of emotion and stress, made all the more intense when she caught sight of Maya’s airbooted foot and the teddy bear she was clutching to her abdomen and she was quickly treated to a cascade of mental images of her girlfriend, starting from the panic attacking in the ER and focusing mostly on the unable to sit up, immediately post-op memories, reinforcing her girlfriend’s strength was currently inside a rather more fragile frame than usual. 

“Ssshh...you did the right thing when you told Bailey about this on Saturday, and it sounds like this has been a problem for months. You did the right thing when you called me.”

“But it…” Carina’s anxiety was starting to bubble up again, prompting Maya to try to look around for a clue as to how to solve this new problem - she had no idea what Carina’s patient’s condition was, but if Carina said they needed an urgent surgery, Maya knew she needed to find a way to rebuild her girlfriend’s confidence and spirit, like she’d been doing for Maya these last few days in particular.

“Anna?”

“Yes…” Carina’s administrator turned back, hearing her name, having been on her way from her ‘incident briefing’ to her desk to start on what she needed to do next, not at first spotting she’d walked straight past her boss. “...Captain Bishop, hi.”

“Carina’s office, it’s got a couch right?” Maya had no idea where the office was, but she was hoping it was nearby, knowing it was not that far from the nurses station, which was where Carina had been having to do her work as the computer connection in the office was being upgraded, something else that seemed to have been overlooked in the recent rounds of maintenance and repairs. 

“Yes...” Anna glanced at Carina, slightly intimidated by the very focused, almost fierce look she was displaying, which fortunately was easily confused with most surgeons’ ‘don’t interrupt me, I’m trying to work out how save lots of lives simultaneously in the time it takes you to ask me a question’ look, and given the situation with the NICU, was hardly a stretch to imagine was the actual situation. 

“I sort of overdid it a bit…and need to lie down before I can sit in the wheelchair to go back to my room...” she fudged, not wanting to draw attention to Carina’s distraction, preferring to take the blame publicly, “...and I know she’s got a big emergency surgery so having to hold onto me right now is a distraction she doesn’t need, but…” Maya left her statement hanging, hoping she was making it sound like they’d just had a bit of a row and Carina was now trying to think and plan her way through what she had to do next while ignoring the implied deadweight of her girlfriend attached to her right side.

“Of course Captain, I’ll go check the couch is clear, there were boxes on it yesterday. Do you need me to get Dr Altman paged?”

“Thank you Anna, but no.” Hearing Maya’s voice while focusing on the swirling figures being drawn on her back had helped Carina regain enough control to diffuse her rising panic enough to hear Anna’s question and respond in a ‘playing along’ way, appearing to all intents and purposes to Anna like she was merely slightly irked with her girlfriend’s enthusiasm and disregard for her injuries. “She just needs to elevate her leg and rest some muscles before sitting in the wheelchair. Could you find me an OR please? Cruz and Yordell can scrub in and observe Julia and myself, they did well this morning.” 

Carina knew that having the two interns observing from inside the theatre with her and the department’s senior resident who she liked but had rarely been able to work with, would irritate some of the residents and one attending in particular, but she didn’t care. Not only was today turning into the sort of first day where she didn’t have time for petty departmental politics, she also believed hard work that yielded good results demonstrated a commitment to learning and deserved to be rewarded with further opportunity. It might not be how the rest of the doctors were used to things being done, but Carina didn’t care - their usual ways were only going to be kept if they were the best ways to look after their patients, and right now she wasn’t all that impressed with what was ‘usually’ done.

“Yes Doctor. What is the patient?”

“Florres, the chart has the surgical plan already in it. I have already discussed the possibility of needing the surgery with her this morning, but we were hoping to be able to delay with medications. So we will need consent and pre-op as well as the theatre slot.”

“Of course Doctor.” As Anna set off, Maya lightly tweaked Carina’s bra strap, attracting her attention, enabling Maya to raise her eyebrow and nod, reminding her girlfriend that Maya had no idea where her office was, and they were supposed to be heading there because Maya had been a overambitious patient.

“Si, bene…” Carina waited for Maya to be ready to walk, then they set off. “...grazie amore mio…” she whispered, conscious Mason was following them with wheelchair and radio, not caring that he knew Maya’s blame claiming was an act, but very appreciative of the gesture, because this was not how her first day seeing patients as the Head of Department was supposed to go.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carina's been brilliant looking after Maya during her ups and downs with Mason and everything else to do with her injuries, now it's time for Maya to return the favour.
> 
> Nothing too gruesome ahead, way less than anything we'd ever see on the show but heads up for discussion about what exactly is in those surgical consent forms you sign and perhaps more about operational risk management than you might have anticipated....except who am I kidding, you knew what you were letting yourself in for, this is the 3rd story in the series after all... and we all love two smart, intelligent women supporting each other and taking an interest in each other's skills and professions...in between kisses and head scratches and the odd joke or two obviously.

“Mas?”

“Yeah?” He had followed Carina and Maya into Carina’s office, eyes slightly on stalks when he clocked the size of it, and some of the creepy looking models showing babies before they were born, pushing the wheelchair into a corner he hoped it would not be in anyone’s way.

“Can you go and get Carina a coffee, a fruit juice and…” Maya looked at her girlfriend thoughtfully, trying to decide what might be sufficiently tempting from the limited options in mid afternoon. “...the flapjacks they do on the coffee cart in the main lobby? And maybe some fruit?”

“Sure, you want anything?” He’d thought they were coming here for Maya to lie down, so was a bit confused to see a small argument brewing between her and Carina which, based on how Maya was pointing, seemed to be trying to get Carina to do the lying down part.

“She will have apple juice please Mason,” said Carina quietly, “you have your card?”

“Yeah, got it this morning. Coffee from outside cart, flapjacks from inside cart, two apple juices from juice bar, some water and fruit, got it.” He grinned, showing Carina his pass which had been reissued that morning and was now able to charge things to Carina’s staff account, making spontaneous shopping trips like this easy. “Back in a few minutes. Oh…” He had already remembered to leave the radio on the table, but his sister’s phone was in his pocket still, so he made sure to put the radio and phone in reach of Carina at least who was finally giving in and lying down, using Maya’s left thigh as a pillow. “...and, umm…” He looked around again, finding an empty plastic moving crate by the desk, and, turning it upside down, he grabbed one of the seat cushions from the other couch and stuck it on top of it. “For your leg?” he asked, pointing to the airboot.

“Thanks…” Maya nodded that he was fine to lift her foot up, the airboot feeling very, very heavy compared to her sneaker, making her thigh ache more than anything, though she knew that if she didn’t elevate her ankle soon it would throb. “...that’s great.”

He looked thoughtfully at the couple, then, satisfied Carina had her eyes closed, mouthed ‘is she ok?’ to his sister, concerned, though seeing Maya nod was reassuring.

“Back in a bit,” he said, then stepped out, closing the door quietly behind him.

“You should be the one lying down…” grumbled Carina, still not forgiving herself for, as she saw it, dragging Maya into her problems.

“Tell you what, I’ll lie down now if you let me do your surgery in a bit.”

“Ma-ya…”

“Bad idea? Alright then, how about you lie down now and I sit up, then while you’re being amazing in surgery I lie down and have a nap, and later we invite Bailey and Teddy round to my place for you to all have take out while I eat some fruit mush and you all glare at me until I also eat the soup? I think I’m getting an orange one later.” 

The jello, so tempting and appealing to patients usually, had, as expected by Carina, done little to excite Maya, certainly not enough to encourage her it was worth the trauma of trying to eat it with her left hand. The ‘fruit mush’ as Maya had described the unsweetened fruit puree and natural yogurt that Teddy and Carina knew was hidden away on the low sugar menu for diabetic patients had proven to be not only more left handed spoon user compatible, but had actually been something Maya enjoyed eating for her breakfast this morning.

“You’re all doing the same sort of shift today right?” They’d had an impromptu gathering yesterday on Teddy’s ward when Maya had met Bailey by chance part way through her first attempt at walking with the airboot, the doctors comparing shift notes while Link’s staff adjusted the airboot, Maya appreciating their lively chat as it took her mind off how weird her foot was feeling at that moment.

“Si...but the incident thing that Bailey must now do…” Carina’s anxiety about the disruption and chaos arising from the forgotten about NICU backup power supply was starting to build again.

“Her part will be finished by then.” 

Maya ran her fingers through Carina’s hair, feeling conflicted about this moment - she was worried about how her girlfriend was going to cope at having to shut everything out except the surgery she had to do, not liking seeing her girlfriend this off balance in what should be her moment to shine, but glad that she’d progressed sufficiently far that she could be sitting in Carina’s new office to offer a supportive lap, even if it would mean she spent the rest of the afternoon asleep.

“But…”

Maya tried to think of a way to get Carina to see that what had been set in motion by her insisting that the backup power supply problem not be ignore was not ‘fuss’ or ‘chaos’ from the ‘crazy foreign woman’ that social media was still, on some clips of the Mayor no ex-Mayor’s incredible rant, calling her. Preferably without Maya blurting out that she would have, under normal circumstances, insisted on going up onto the roof and looking at those generators herself the moment Carina mentioned them, as that would no doubt immediately be dismissed by her girlfriend as the loathed ‘special treatment’ or whatever else was currently causing Carina’s confidence, fragile in lots of aspects but secure in her professional life, to be adrift just now.

“Why was my ankle surgery the only one I had to give consent for?”

“Eh?” The rapid change of topic caught Carina completely by surprise, which was what Maya had hoped would happen, learning from her girlfriend’s tricks and techniques to help Maya manage her own racing thoughts when they were getting ahead of her and making mischief and deciding to see if it would work now.

“Link fixing my ankle on Sunday, I had to give consent for it, but not the others.”

“You know this bella…” sighed Carina, not sure why Maya was bringing this up now, but if answering her question kept her fingers moving through her hair, scratching her head like that, Carina would play along. Right now, the only thing that was keeping her calm enough to not turn into that ‘crazy foreign woman’ she knew she was being called on social media was being able to feel how completely relaxed and calm Maya’s body felt, and remind herself that Maya understood this sort of situation like Carina understood labour and abdominal pains. Which was fine as long as she could stay feeling Maya like this...and not have to go and talk to her patient and then operate. But without an operating theatre, she couldn’t do anything, so she would permit herself a moment to try and find her calm, knowing Mrs Florres was expecting her to be calm and capable when they did all meeti in theatre. “...it is because it was technically an elective surgery not an emergency so we ask before not check with you after.”

“You ever read it?”

“Si…” Carina opened her eyes and tried to frown at her girlfriend, not sure what the point of this was. “I did not read your one, but I have read the ones my patients sign. Everyone is a bit different in places, depending on the surgery.”

“So your patients don’t give you permission to amputate their legs?”

“No.” Carina’s prompt confidence wavered. “At least, I do not think it does.” She frowned, thinking about what her consent forms did cover, what surgical extremes and disasters had been thought up by people who had never held a scalpel. “I cannot think how something could happen that I would need to from something elective, unless it was a joint surgery.” Trauma was different, but then trauma surgery wasn’t elective.

“Makes sense, and I understood why I needed to give Link that permission, just in case.” 

She looked at her ankle, still a prisoner in the airboot, reminding herself that this was the smart decision, the strategic call she’d made because although it had messed around the last 48 hours big time, and she didn’t want to relive the worst parts of that again, now they were almost exactly where they would have been if she hadn’t had the surgery, one day behind at most, only she was now on a path that would make the rest of her life much better.

“What we see and think about, people like the Chief and me, when we arrive at a scene is a lot like writing those consent forms I guess…” she said after a long moment’s pause, long enough that Carina had closed her eyes again and started to try and play some sort of chess game with NICU spaces and rooms in Teddy’s and Amelia’s departments, though she dropped all the pieces and forgot about her string of moves when she heard Maya speaking, trying to catch up and understand despite missing a few words. “...asking everyone to agree to do the worst possible thing we can think of while knowing it really isn’t part of the plan.”

“You are telling me I am making a big fuss…” mumbled Carina, giving away her own thoughts, hampered by missing the start.

“The opposite actually.” Maya looked down, blowing a kiss to her confused looking girlfriend, her own thoughts a little more organised now. “I get that, for whatever reason, no matter how good Link is, and how safe surgery is when done by people as good as you, there is a reason why I had to sign a piece of paper confirming that I valued the rest of me more than my right leg and given the choice, if something was going so wrong with my right leg the rest of me was in trouble, the right leg was not the important part of me, just in case.” 

Carina’s eyebrow rose and playfully, Maya tried to push it back down into its more relaxed position with her finger, making her girlfriend smirk at her silliness even if her eyebrow didn’t move, understanding the point Maya was making about her foot, glad Maya hadn’t started to think about what many of Carina’s consent forms were actually asking patients to indicate. But she still didn’t see why they were talking about it now. 

“Link needing me to give that consent, because it’s my right leg, I get that’s not a random request is what I mean, because it’s not asking permission for everything, like a universal consent to go anywhere, because you just said the consents your patients sign don’t have that in it.” 

She’d had to sign other consents, because of the scan Julia was going to do of her uterus, a scan that they’d tried to do out of theatre but Maya had freaked out when they’d tried to help her into the right position for the internal exam, not as she’d explained to Julia after she’d calmed down enough to speak, because of any anxiety or distrust about the internal exam, but because she was panicking about making what they were trying to see with the scan worse by moving wrong. Which was when Teddy had come up with the option of, before Link started the actual ankle surgery, Julia doing the scan with Maya in the OR, when then there was no risk of her making any of her injuries worse. And so an extra consent form had been produced and Link had very sweetly insisted he would wait until Julia would finish before he brought his team in. But none of that was relevant to the point she was trying to use her ankle surgery to help Carina understand the situation currently unfolding on the roof of the hospital.

“Si, we do not obtain needless consent.”

“Right, so whoever writes those consent forms for you, thinks about what could go really, really badly wrong if the surgeon is an absolute disaster of a human being and makes you amazing surgeons get your patients to sign anyway, just in case we all fall into a parallel universe mid surgery and you forget to take your knowledge and talent with you. But it is still, in that parallel universe, a leg surgery or Amelia poking someone’s brain.”

“Si, they are written by lawyers. What is your point?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this…” sighed Maya lightly, amusement filling her eyes and colouring her tone. “...but you’ve just made me willingly compare myself to a lawyer…” Her dramatically ‘yuck’ look made Carina chuckle, which made Maya go back to smiling, her fingers never stopping in their teasing but not tickling aimless wanderings through Carina’s hair, instinctively knowing where the headache hotspots were that benefited from a little rub or scratch to help try and nudge muscles into relaxing and blood flow increasing again. “When we turn up to a scene, we have been called out because someone has spotted a specific problem, like say…” Maya thought about something that was relatively simple and contained that Carina might recognise from some of her recent calls. “...a car hitting a post and the airbags going off.”

“Ah, si, the family in the SUV before Christmas? With the matching Christmas clothes?”

“Yeah, how did you know about their hoodies? I didn’t…” Maya had picked the example because she’d remembered telling Carina about the family who had skidded on some black ice and hit a post at the side of the road in the dark coming back from seeing grandparents. Somehow, that was supposed to explain why the parents and two kids under the age of five were all wearing the same Reindeer patterned hooded sweatshirts, though Maya was unconvinced.

“Mention the hoodies? No, but I saw them...I did not make the connection until last week when I saw the wife for a follow up.” 

“Ah, ok, well…” Maya took a breath to compartmentalise her curiosity, knowing there could be all manner of reasons why the woman in the car was now her girlfriend’s patient, and knowing that not only did Maya not need to know, but Carina wouldn’t tell her. “...that call was made by a passer by, telling us the car had hit the post and the people in the car couldn’t get out.”

“So the problem they want the fire department to help fix is the people are stuck in the car. And you get them out with your…” Carina closed her eyes, replaying what they had talked about while she washed Maya’s hair yesterday evening. “...jaws of life?” she asked, opening her eyes with nervous excitement to see if she’d got it right.

“Yeah, that one we did, eventually,” said Maya, detouring just enough to tap Carina’s chin in an approximation for a ‘high five’ type gesture. “But it took us quite a while to get to that point.”

“Cosa?” Carina was completely absorbed in Maya’s story now, no longer wondering why she was telling her this particular story, just wanting to hear how it went, especially as she already knew this was a ‘happy’ story because everyone was rescued.

“Because they hadn’t hit a post…” Maya paused, giving Carina a chance to try and guess if she wanted to, but the frowny face told her she was coming across as being overly mysterious. “...they had hit a powerline pole and tore the engine open on the rocks as they spun off the road.”

“Ahie...they were lucky?”

“They were very lucky, because the powerline kept them at the side of the road and not off the shoulder and down the slope, so they weren’t as beaten up, but it made their rescue much harder.” Maya ran her finger down Carina’s nose, stroking it thoughtfully as she replayed the scene assessment through her mind. “The post is a powerline, so now the scene is potentially ‘live’ with everyone, them and us, at risk of electrocution if we get it wrong, and the post has been hit with force, so could fall at any moment, and that would then make the electrocution risk dynamic because the wires attached to it could snap and fly hitting anything really, or pull down other posts making the wires snap somewhere else, and the casualties in the car would have another fall, making the car even more unstable and difficult to extract from.” She refocused on Carina, smiling at her wide eyed expression at everything Maya had just reeled off. 

“Anytime a car crashes, there’s a fire risk, and electricity sparks can start fires plus we see the paint and dirt on the rocks and kerb, and the exhaust was back on the kerb so there’s damage to the underside of the car, which definitely means there’s a very high risk of fire, even without the electric wires moving about.” She grinned. “On the plus side, with this miserable weather we’ve been having, at least the trees were very low risk for wildfire. If it had been in the summer that would have been something else to stick on the list.”

“That is a lot.”

“I guess, I mean, that’s before we started thinking about who was in the car and what their injuries might be.”

“Si, but that was the part of the puzzle the person who called 911 saw - the hurt people in the car. They did not see all of that you have just described.”

“No, they saw a car hit a post and people were stuck...which is why we go to accidents like that even if people aren’t hurt.”

“Si, I had not thought of it like that...but if it had not been a powerline post it would have been easier?”

“It would have been different. A streetlight or phone lines still have their issues, even a tree is sometimes really weird.”

“They can catch fire…”

“Yeah, but…” Maya smirked. “...there’s a story, not sure how true it is, but the point is a good one, about a car that hit a tree. The tree didn’t really seem to move, and the car crumpled. So it should be simple enough...and then they get to the car and see that the tree moved enough for some sort of hanging bee or hornet nest to drop into the car…”

“Ahie!” Carina actually curled up into a ball, though her head stayed resting on Maya’s thigh, at the thought of being trapped in a car with the surprise of a nest of stinging insects dropping onto you.

“Yeah, not sure it can be true, I mean, they don’t blow down in the wind right? But it’s a good thing to remember...even the really simple can get weird and complicated fast, and the fastest way to make something simple weird, complicated and dangerous is by making a dumb mistake.”

“Si, it is the same for surgery....cut the blood vessel instead of nudge it to the side, make the wound bigger with the stitches tearing instead of closing it… that is how little things go badly wrong and require the bigger more dramatic solution.”

“Like starting to repair a tendon and clean up an ankle but ending up without a leg?”

“Si, though that is too much drama even for Italians!” declared Carina theatrically, making Maya smile, relieved she seemed to be starting to get some points to connect for her.

“But that’s why I think you can say we, firefighters, look at a problem a bit like those lawyers look at your surgery, by looking at what will happen if an absolute disaster is allowed to start by taking really bad decisions and at every opportunity that comes along the absolute worst decisions that can be made are taken. And just like the lawyers then make you get consent for that biggest, most dramatic solution, that’s sort of what we then start planning our scene around, not the original problem.”

“Even though you are very, very good?”

“It’s because we are very good that we know to start by finding everything that could make the situation the absolute worst.” Maya caught her lip between her teeth starting to draw them back to Carina’s current predicament. “Did you notice you don’t have many fire extinguishers now?”

“Si, Ben, Jack and the Chief took them up to the roof with them which I did not understand, because it was a fuel spill not a fire...and they are piccolo compared to your engines and trucks with the big hoses. And why is everyone using the big ladder to get to the roof while Mason has gone to get our drinks using the elevators? Why don’t you use the elevators and not have the problems parking up your big trucks so you can set up your very long ladder?”

“Ok, so, bit by bit…” Maya looked at her right foot while she moved the various puzzle pieces around to an order that would make the best explanation sequence for Carina. “So, we get called because Joey sees the spilt fuel and thinks that is best cleaned up and made safe before anyone does anything more with the generators. And because he knows it’s fuel not melted snow, he knows this is a problem that he thinks we should look at rather than the hospital cleaners, so he wants you to call the fire department.”

“Si, because spilt fuel might go boom.”

“Yes, but there’s a couple of extra steps...spilt fuel evaporates…” Maya almost laughed at Carina’s eyebrow wandering up her forehead again, but managed to resist in deference to her ribs and her girlfriend’s current fairly good humour compared to a few minutes ago. “...even though it’s sleeting and probably high twenties at best in the wind, it can spill on hot machinery or a warm roof, and water does not stop those sorts of fires, so the sleet is no help. And diesel vapour can ignite super easily - only needs a really weak concentration to ignite in air, so even if there’s a wind to disperse it the fire risk is high. And the guys know this building is built to code, so the roof probably has parapets on the edges which, since diesel vapour is heavy, means it won’t actually blow away because it’s sunk to the bottom and is sitting, not dispersing, right up close to a roof or machinery that could be warm enough to be close to the flashpoint.” She refocused back on her girlfriend’s thoughtful face, seeing she was paying close attention to every word, Carina’s attention making her decide to go ‘all in’ with what Carina’s generator problem really was. 

“So even when we’re told it is a fuel spill by someone who knows to worry about the liquid, we’re already thinking about fuel vapour and how it’s most likely going to be a fuel fire, and because the problem is on the roof, we’re thinking it’s going to be a roof fire too. And the roof? Is on a hospital full of...lots of things we don’t want too close to fire and lots of people who really should stay where they are in a building with a nice solid, not on fire roof.”

“You have been thinking about this since Saturday?”

Carina’s calm question was not the one Maya had been expecting, and she didn’t quite know how to answer it. Because honestly? She’d been thinking about a roof fire at Grey Sloan two or three times a week for the last year, which was about how often she found herself skimming through the blueprints and the protocols when she was the only one awake in the Station, taking some time for her version of rest while everyone else slept until the next alarm went.

“Your broken generator? Not really, not like you.”

“Si, but I have been thinking about how I only have three empty spaces in the NICU and am about to operate and use one of them and only two of the bambini are big enough to go to Cormac’s ICU and I do not have enough mobile units for the rest. And that even if the NICU has now backup power I need to find somewhere else for the bambini because the main power is just not strong enough and I do not care who I must argue with, it must be fixed…” She forced herself to take a breath. “Which makes sense because these are my patients, but you…” She frowned. “How much of all of that have you been thinking about?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me per favore? I would like to understand more about your work, it is…” She grinned. “...easier to understand now that I am learning about all the many clever tools and skills you can use to solve all the different sorts of stuck people get into, and it is good that you have so many because we will need lots of distractions if we are not to get in trouble with Teddy and Addison.”

“She’s scary.” Maya had ‘met’ Addison for the first time on Saturday night when she’d been witness to a video call involving Link and Teddy. “And you should have stayed more in touch with her.” She emphasised her point with a gentle tap on Carina’s nose, making her smile, not rising to the bait about how they were currently relying on Maya’s seemingly inexhaustible supply of firefighting trivia to help keep libidos in check and distract them from, well the distractions that bed baths and Maya waking with spasms in her groin and pelvic muscles were throwing in their path along with them being them.

“Si, I am texting her again, and she is already insisting she is coming to the party that will be thrown to celebrate Mason’s wall.” Carina looked contemplatively at her new office’s ceiling. “Are you telling me that you have been thinking about the hospital roof being on fire and the whole hospital needing to be evacuated, a hospital you are sleeping in as a patient, since I first mentioned my power problem to Bailey on Saturday.”

“No.” Carina looked up at Maya, and despite the look being upside down and sideways on, it was clearly conveying she wasn’t convinced by her girlfriend’s denial. “I generally think about how to stop things being on fire. And it wasn’t all the time, just a few minutes.” She resumed stroking Carina’s hair, realising she’d not been able to do this for days because of the positions they kept finding themselves in. “I know it sounds odd given some of the scenes I’ve had lately, but we actually prefer things that are not on fire when we arrive to stay that way. We’d much rather work quite hard to keep them from going on fire while we sort out whatever it is we’re there to sort out than just hope it will all be fine and then find ourselves with a surprise fire half way through.” She saw Carina’s eyes drift closed again, pleased she was able to coax some of the tension out of her. Structural fires were different, when they worked on making sure the fire burned itself out within the structure, not spreading to adjacent property, but that was not the important point just now.

“The Chief, Ben and Jack took fire extinguishers with them so that they could put foam down immediately around anything that looked hot, to try and reduce the risk of vapour getting to its flashpoint while they assess the scene. The rest of the team are going up to the roof using the big ladder so they have the position established with hoses connected so that we can keep putting foam down wherever there could be a risk of vapour or liquid fuel igniting to hopefully mean the roof cannot go on fire. But it means it is also there ready so that if a fire does start they can start putting it out quickly, so quickly the fire doesn’t spread because we don’t want to have to evacuate the hospital. But just in case we had to? And so that the little things the hospital can do to help us make sure we don’t have to evacuate the hospital in the first place? We also like to make sure the hospital is thinking about them while we are sorting out the fuel spill, just in case, which is why there are Incident Management Protocols that the hospital start to follow whenever we are called.”

“That’s what Bailey is being asked to do?”

“That’s what someone, not a doctor, is doing. But they and us have a senior doctor we deal with, who tells us what we can and can’t risk, and who we ask if we want to know who can and can’t move. All those questions Jack asked you about what it took to move the NICU?”

“Si,”

“If we need to do any of that, it will be Bailey’s decision, based on…” Maya looked around Carina’s office until she saw what she was looking for. “...there, you have a blue binder on the bookcase by your new desk?”

“Si, it is the only one Kate left. How do you know about it?”

“Because it’s the department incident response plan. Bailey will have copies of that binder and all the other ones for the departments that are affected by a roof fire incident, and if the Chief feels that we go shift from containing a fuel spill to risk of a roof fire, he and Bailey will start contacting Departments to start following the relevant part of the incident response plan in the order Bailey decides based on medical risk.”

“So…” Carina thought about what Maya was trying to tell her, not what she had said. “...you are telling me I am trying to be Bailey?”

“No, I am telling you that you are brilliant and clever and calm in a crisis and so many steps ahead of the rest of the hospital on this issue that you don’t have to think about it anymore.”

“But…”

“In the Head Electrician’s office there is another blue binder. And I promise you, in that binder it will tell him that if anyone suspects there is a fuel spill on the roof of this building they are to call 911 and ask for the fire department to attend. It doesn’t matter who spilt the fuel, doesn’t matter what the fuel is on the roof for, if there is a fuel spill on this building’s roof, we want to know about it immediately.” Maya was struggling to keep a reign on her temper, wanting to find the Head Electrician and have him fired all over again, but she concentrated on keeping it boxed away, not wanting Carina to think she was anything other than so proud of her right now.

“He did not do that.” Carina wasn’t convinced by Maya’s explanation that she didn’t have to think about it any more, but she was prepared to review what had happened compared against what Maya knew should have happened.

“No, he didn’t. He tried to make it your problem. So you did his job by calling the fire department, and because you already knew about the problems you were having with the generators, and because you knew how medically critical those generators are without ever needing to read it in a blue binder, you made my team’s job, the Chief’s job and Bailey’s job so much easier before they even knew it was their job to solve.”

“But the roof fire...”

“You know I cannot promise you there is zero risk of that happening right?”

“Si, there is always some risk.”

“Right. But what I can promise you is that right now? Yeah, there is a situation on the roof that makes the risk of there being a fire up there higher than is considered an acceptable risk for the hospital to manage on its own by not thinking about it at all.”

“So there is a problem.” 

Carina was not forgiving herself easily from the fight only she was making herself have, but Maya was more than equal to her girlfriend’s stubborn attachment to her private battle. Even if it meant she slept the next 24 hours straight through and didn’t manage to have another walk this week, Maya would work away at her girlfriend’s arguments until there was no more stubborn attachment to a needless fight, just as Carina had done time and time again for Maya.

“There is enough risk we think it could become a problem. But think about my ankle. There was risk, so small you, me, Link, none of us really thought it could ever happen, but there was enough risk that the right thing to do was for Link to have my permission to amputate my leg before he started to fix my ankle. All the trucks and ladders, foam and generators? That’s just our version of that paragraph I sort of wobbled my name under. We just want to clean up your diesel spill so you can turn your generators back on. But we also want to be able to stop you having to evacuate or move any patients unless we absolutely have to, which means we make sure we can deal with your whole roof being on fire as well.”

A thoughtful silence descended on them, Maya genuinely not sure what else she could say to try and get Carina to see that if anyone was in a mood because of disruption from the fire department being around, they were the ones at fault and the fire department? They were more than equal to dealing with people in a mood in this sort of situation and, as far as Maya and her fellow firefighters, be they from 19, 25, 88 or anywhere else being right now brought across to Grey Sloan to be on standby in case something did, in fact, despite everyone’s efforts to avoid ‘boom’? Carina was the smart one for making the call.

“So I did not overreact?”


	48. Chapter 48

“Hmm?” 

Carina had asked her question so quietly Maya hadn’t heard her properly, having been listening to the ever present quiet chatter on the radio she was so used to listening to as the scene flowed around her that she’d been listening to it even as she was talking to Carina, though she suspected Carina hadn’t noticed it, as Maya had turned the radio right down low and had Mason put it on the table on Maya’s right, beyond the end of the couch, and well away from Carina.

“Calling you, the fire department, rather than shrugging and telling Maintenance to clean up the fuel, I did not overreact?”

“Absolutely not.” Now, concluded Maya, they were finally at the heart of the issue. “Is someone suggesting you did?” 

Maya didn’t think there had been time for anyone to take issue with Carina involving the fire department, as by the time anyone other than Teddy knew amongst the hospital staff that there was a problem they needed the fire department for, Chief Sato was already in command of a situation the Fire Department had assessed and declared a major incident. And while Bailey might breathe a bit of fiery temper at the disruption to her afternoon, Maya knew that there was probably no one who cared more deeply about the hospital than the determined Chief of Surgery. Bailey wasn’t the only one entitled to refer to Grey Sloan as ‘my hospital’, but she was probably the one who said it with the greatest passion and believed in doing things the right way, for the right reason with equal passion.

“At the meeting you went to?” Maya had admittedly not been at her most observant or supportive best since her surgery on Sunday morning before yesterday afternoon, but she’d got the impression Teddy, Amelia and Bailey were enthusiastically supportive and encouraging, with Link, Maggie and Meredith probably just as supportive but Maya didn’t know them as well and hadn’t seen them as much in the week she’d been resident at Grey Sloan. God, it had been a week already. 

“No…” Carina was worrying at her lip with her teeth, feeling the anxiety returning now she had drawn attention to its root, but not yet sure what to do with it.

“In your department? You said there were some unhappy that you were now in charge.”

“Si, but not because of this, because they were on easy shifts and had too much praise for too little work.” 

Carina, for all the ‘perks’ that her well funded research project with its slightly silly sounding summary by those who didn’t take the time to understand it, had worked incredibly hard to be at the top of her specialty in order to be able to secure her research funding. And just because she could theoretically drift in and out of the department when she felt like it, only seeing patients if she felt like being helpful didn’t mean that was what she did - even before she’d effectively been told by Arizona that she was seeing patients now because Arizona didn’t like ‘mixing business with pleasure’ and hated overseeing straightforward labours. At the time, Carina had thought was one of the most ridiculous things a competent doctor had ever said to her, because by that logic, the sort of logic that suggested there was no such thing as professionalism, the moment her daughter was born Arizona should have switched to operating on adult men only. But instead Carina had been amused and agreed, and as Bailey had kindly acknowledged years later this last weekend, she had begun to work two jobs through one contract, which no matter the financial generosity of that contract, was not the easy way. 

“Ahie…” she sighed, clenching her hand in a fist and pushing into the couch.

“Hey…” Maya couldn’t reach the clenched fist to try and encourage it to relax, so she tried to draw Carina out of herself with gentle caressing strokes across her cheek, which to her relief was dry, so at least there were not tear-generating emotions involved...yet. “What’s the punching for?” 

“I am throwing darts at Arizona in my mind about her stupido sex comment when she wanted me to do the labours.”

“Oh, the one when she said she didn’t mix business and pleasure?” Maya remembered Carina telling her about that very early on in their relationship, wanting Maya to know about her hospital exes before the gossips told her. “Always thought that made her sound...weird for a doctor.” 

Maya had been a little more forthright in her reaction at the time, drawing the parallel between how, as a firefighter, she was living in an apartment with a fireplace and wasn’t completely immune to the charms of candlelight...and had been what led into her explaining fire temperatures and colours to Carina now she thought about it. But Carina bringing it up now told her how rattled she was, because she knew that none of that conversation mattered to Carina - it hadn’t mattered at the time Arizona had said it to her and she’d been in some sort of ‘thing’ with her, and it certainly didn’t matter to Maya - sure, she didn’t like the idea of getting too close and personal to a woman in labour, but that was nothing to do with her sex life and everything to do with her thoughts on having children. What was it JJ had said? Imagine peeing a basketball? Maya didn’t especially appreciate being called ‘Firefighter Barbie’ and a lot of the other crap JJ pulled, but that comment? About the basketball? Maya was 100% with her on that, and too many visual clues as to how her body could contort to make that possible was not something she really wanted to know. But then she also generally preferred not to see the horribly dislocated ankles either, because owning a dodgy ankle, a soon to be less dodgy ankle she reminded herself, she didn’t like the visual clues as to how easy they were to go really, really wrong.

“URGH…” groaned Carina, cross with herself for being so messy in her thinking, for letting her first ‘rank pull’ as Department Head have such a public and visible consequence that was just a ‘crazy foreign woman’ overreacting. Why couldn’t she have just started to see better capacity and discharge rates by challenging the obsession with unnecessary C-sections? Or even started with ordering some different shaped lightly stuffed pillows for the patients to try instead of pillows?

“Hey…” Maya lightly tapped her girlfriend on the tip of her nose, making tightly screwed shut eyes open. “...none of that, or we’ll get the wrong reputation before you’ve finished moving in.”

“Why does it have to be so...so shit?”

“Because you’ve taken over from someone who was shit? And had been shit for long enough that too many people became accustomed to the idea that being a bit shit was good enough?”

“But what if…” Carina sighed heavily, then carefully sat up. “Can I…” She indicated she wanted to sit close against Maya’s left side, if she was alright with that, prompting Maya to hold her left arm up now much more confident with her movements after Link declared it was just stiff and there was nothing she needed to worry about. “Grazie…” Carina curled herself into a tight ball, tucked next to Maya, feeling the reassuring squeeze of Maya’s left arm wrapped around her shoulders. “...what if I am the one that is out of stride?”

“Out of step. And you’re not.” Maya wasn’t sure she was doing a very good job of helping her girlfriend’s clear crisis of confidence, but she kept going, hoping that Carina’s willingness to stay close was a sign she was doing something right. “What did you tell me to do? Shine my light and tell my truth? Isn’t that what you’re doing? You’re expecting people to tell you what’s happening in everything you think is relevant and acting accordingly?”

“Mmm…”

“Well so far, from what I’ve seen, Teddy and Bailey haven’t disagreed with what you’re doing and saying, so that must count for something...and Nina and Julia seem to be quite happy with what you’re doing, even Anna, though I’ve not seen her much to know her yet.” Maya rubbed her back, thinking through everything she could think of that might be relevant, coming up with nothing she’d noticed from the last couple of days, which brought her back to today, and the only thing she could see that might be different was the generators. “That head electrician guy’s been fired, you know that?”

“Si, Nina said.”

“What did he do?”

“Apart from kick my working generator and spill the fuel and try to make it my fault?”

“See? It’s his fault the parking lot is full of our trucks and engines and my team are skidding about on the roof in the foam,” teased Maya, trying not to let her anger towards the incompetent idiot that had made Carina’s difficult start as Department Head worse. “But that wouldn’t see you throw him off your wards, what else did he do?”

“He was rude.”

“Ruder than me?”

“Si, you did not call me ‘lady’ and try to tell me not to twist my knickers.”

“I’ve not done that,” agreed Maya, working hard on keeping her tone light and her body relaxed, knowing her anger wouldn’t help either her tiring body from lasting long enough to not give out on her until after Carina was in surgery, or for Carina to get in the right mindset for her surgery. “I don’t think Gibson’s ever been that dumb speaking to a woman either, and he’s had some very dumb moments....” 

Although what the maintenance guy had said was fairly horrific for the 21st century, she knew it was at the tame end of what Carina had to put up with at various points in her career, same for Maya herself, with the comparison to Jack almost a reflex reaction to buy herself a bit of thinking time to see if there was anything else she could have overlooked.

“Jack is not that bad.”

“That’s the fourth or fifth time you’ve called him Jack…” Maya referred to him, like she did all her friends, by both his surname and first name, depending on the context, though she did try to consciously avoid too many ‘Jack’ contexts for the obvious reason. But Carina? Carina had been fairly consistent at calling him ‘Gibson’, with ‘Jack’ generally only surfacing when, as was the case when Teddy was trying to advocate for Maya at the coffee cart, Carina was reminding herself or Maya that it was  _ Jack  _ that Maya cheated on her with. 

“He is a good man.” Carina lifted her head and lowered her legs down to the floor, then turned so she was more curled up facing Maya, seeing now what it was that was rattling around her thoughts at speed, never quite staying still long enough for her to capture and dismantle until Maya’s reference to Jack.

“Wow, ok…” That was not what Maya had been expecting. “Why do I feel like I’ve missed something?” 

She’d become accustomed to Carina’s opinion of Jack being firmly contained to accepting as received wisdom Andy’s opinion that Jack Gibson was one of the very best firefighters there was in the department, even if he could also be a bit of a walking disaster of a human being at times. Certainly there was no longer any suspicion or out and out anger directed towards him by Carina, but Maya had become used to the cool politeness between them that wasn’t that different to how lots of couples coped with their partner’s work colleagues, but was still rather out of kilter with everyone else on A shift.

“Because…” Carina found Maya’s left hand and tangled their fingers together, not quite sure where to begin, not quite sure how explaining this now would help her, but knowing Maya not knowing was not helping her, and somehow also perhaps connected to her worries now. “...because Jack broke another firefighter’s nose while Teddy was operating on you.” 

“What!” Maya started to react, but led with her right arm, and her collarbone quickly put her literally back in her place against the pillows as she worked to catch her breath as she felt the first twinge of pain.

“That was my fault…” Carina felt stupid for how she’d just launched into it. “...I am sorry bella, I did not think how that would sound to you…”

“It’s ok….” Maya counted her way through four steady, careful breaths. “Why didn’t anyone say anything?” 

“He is hoping you do not see it until the cuts are healed. And you are not to say anything in front of the team because they have already had the yelling and the finger pointing and the huffs with each other. And they are not saying anything to you because Chief Sato and Andy have dealt with the paperwork. But he said I could tell you as long as I tell him once you know and I make you promise not to mention it as he doesn’t want it to be ‘all weird’ between you again.”

“Jack said all that? When?”

“When we were sitting together waiting for his hand to be x-rayed.”

“What happened?” 

However, before Carina could answer, Maya had another question.

“Wait, Jack punching a firefighter and Robert’s face...this is the weirdness time that Andy was telling us about? That whole Jets Sharks thing that I didn’t know about?”

“Si, I...did not know about it in detail, but I did know there was something wrong with the firefighters and somebody before you were told about Travis cartoon fire engine boxer shorts.”

“I still want to see those…” Maya chewed on her lip, trying to work through all her various emotions, finding it easy to ignore the ‘eyes forward’ voice trying to make her focus on Carina being ‘caught’ in a lie, refusing to take the bait.

Part of Maya wanted to react, to lash out at the discovery that a secret had been kept from her for a week, taking advantage of that 24 hour period when she had no direct memories of her own really, between the shooting and finally being through the very groggy post-operation stage despite the team talk when she’d learned about the tensions. But that was now the smaller part of Maya, at least when it came to anything involving Carina. The angry part of her was concerned about Carina having to be peacemaker when her team were by the sounds of it at each others’ throats, about Carina having to be, well, Carina and support and care for everyone before herself, and not just anyone from ‘everyone’ but  _ Jack _ of all people, when what Maya had hoped might have happened was the team being there to support Carina and why the hell hadn’t they? 

But the biggest part of her, the part that wasn’t angry or fizzing or shouting, was the part of her that still hadn’t forgiven herself for Carina having to spend hours and hours worrying about her, of having to cope with Maya being weak and fragile, of having to cope with Mason and all the mess of sorting through that tangle of hurts and distress and while doing all of that, while still coping with all of that, on her own, she was now trying to do what should be the start of her great big opportunity to shine. That part wanted to coax her girlfriend to sit on her lap and curl up into the tight ball Maya genuinely didn’t see how it was possible to make but welcomed settling against her to be held close and tight, providing the safety and security that her girlfriend needed to finally unbox the heavily weighing worries and fears that otherwise only appeared during exhaustion-induced sleep. That part wanted to forget about her ribs and collarbone, didn’t give a damn about whether or not she’d ever make active duty or walk properly again, because all that part wanted to do, right now, was pull her girlfriend into her lap and promise to make whatever it was that was troubling her go away.

“...I’m sorry you had to cope with all that shit. And that it was somehow all because of me, even if I know that it isn’t something I can carry the blame for because it wasn’t my plan to get injured like this. And I’m so, so sorry you had to cope with all that shit on your own, I mean, on your own with whoever else compared to you having me with you and also everyone else...and to have it all inside you all this time...I get if you don’t want to talk about it now, or later…”

“I think...I think I need to tell you now, because of what else he told me.” Carina knew this was not ideal, even without Maya being injured and needing to be in her bed resting, but she also knew that now it was half in the open, neither of them would be any good at not poking at it until they had a better time, and that was definitely the worst way to handle things right now. “Is that…”

“You can always tell me anything, you know that...bullet holes and airboots don’t change that.” 

Maya didn’t always get it right the first time she heard something, but she’d worked on that as a priority with Dr Lewis, explaining that she didn’t want to become a doormat, knowing that Carina didn’t want someone she could walk all over, but that there had to be something in between total apathetic obsequious agreement all the time and Maya’s then constant punch-throwing defensiveness. 

It had turned out there was - it was Maya’s natural personality, deeply buried underneath learned responses constructed to survive ‘eyes forward’ and her father’s abuse, so well shielded from the world she’d almost forgotten she had it, except it had been drawn out by Carina from that first moment she’d offered to buy Maya a drink in exchange for the story about the bear in the woods and the nose in the bag. That fleeting glimpse of it had been enough to tempt Carina into trying to catch sight of it again and again, despite the bruises inflicted by Maya’s cold shoulder, denials and shattering of Carina’s trust. And so Maya had asked Dr Lewis to start with helping her find a way to not get it wrong so badly, to not compound getting it wrong with lashing out or running away with no explanation, and in the process of trying to do that, she’d become better able at letting out that natural personality of hers a bit more, of starting to ignore the ‘eyes forward’, to recognise the behaviour that was a vital defense against abuse, abuse that she was no longer experiencing.

“Do you remember he said how he saw all those firefighters? When he went for a walk to get some air?” Maya nodded, recalling him say he’d gone for some air while she was in surgery when they’d all visited her a day or so after her big surgery. “He also heard them talking, and not everyone said kind things.”

“Lots don’t, I…” Maya’s face showed the mixture of hurt and indifference she’d learned to master when being reminded that she was not a universally beloved figure in the department, like Andy or Chief Sato, though she directed it at the face of the bear, still held against her abdomen by her right hand, its glass eyes looking blankly back at her.

“Are liked a lot by your team and me, which is what matters right now. Bene?”

“Yeah....” Maya turned her head to look at Carina, seeing the arched eyebrow reminding her whose story this was to tell, making Maya smile lazily. “Shutting up…” which caused Carina to chuckle, then continue her story. “...he said he could ignore the ones saying ‘the usual stuff’ about 19, and the ones saying stuff about Robert because that was what Robert wanted them to do, but he’d heard someone say something that went too far about you and he hit them.” 

Maya concentrated on taking another careful breath, reminding herself that Carina had been holding this inside herself for all this time, that she needed right now to treat this as something she had to support her girlfriend through saying, rather than think of as something involving herself.

“The team asked what was said, but he refused to tell them. He’d been hiding his hand so they wouldn’t ask, but Ben...he tried to look at his hand when he saw Jack hiding it. The whole room stopped when Jack exploded at Ben with temper. That was when he just said to Andy that if a Captain told Sato he’d broken someone’s nose she wasn’t to get involved, because he had, and he’d do it again because  _ no one spoke about his Captain like that _ . Which upset Andy and the team, and it got worse when he would not tell them what had been said.” 

Carina had, somewhere through that sentence, started drawing circles on Maya’s thigh, talking to her girlfriend’s right hip.

“All he would say was that no matter what anyone heard anyone say, they should know that the weird part of the whole Captain’s selection process was when you were all interviewed for who out of Jack or Andy should be Captain. That it was because neither of them had passed all the tests, but because they were 19 already, it was like they were getting a second chance.” Carina looked at Maya, seeing she already had questions. “I cannot answer your questions bella, because I only know what he said to your team.”

“I was just going to say that was ages ago, and I wasn’t...I mean, I don’t see what that could have to do with anything someone could say about me that would upset him that much. I mean…” Maya sighed, deciding she wasn’t telling Carina anything new, “...if Jack was going to punch anyone about the whole Captain thing I always assumed it would be me.”

“Si, he told me at x-ray that was what you would think. But he glared at the team until they were silent, after telling them the interviews were a second chance, because they all had questions about his hand, the nose, why it mattered...and then he told them, us, about you, told them things they did not know about you.”

“Oh?” Maya was trying to work out what that could be, but managed to resist trying to guess, understanding that this was something Carina needed to just recount, worried also that they might get interrupted before she could finish.

“He told them you had passed all the tests and had earned being Captain in a way that he and Andy still hadn’t, even now, and to not believe anyone who told them different. That anyone who told them it was different was no better than this firefighter he had punched.” Carina looked up, her face showing a mix of emotions and confusion, telling Maya she’d still left some parts out, that the bits where she was repeating what Jack told her she still didn’t really understand...but there was something else, something that Carina did understand and know, but was struggling with whether to share.

“But you know...you know what he heard, what was said.”

“Si.”


	49. Chapter 49

“It was later when I cleaned his hand after I saw it wasn’t broken and it was something to do because I…” Carina didn’t want to say this bit, but knew Maya deserved to know. “...there was never a time, after I saw you in the emergency room, that I did not know you would live, but there was a period when...when Teddy, Maggie, Link in the OR, they were not sure you could still be a firefighter. Bailey did not mean to tell me this, Teddy did not tell her to make it difficult for her, or for me, but because Teddy and Maggie needed help. So when Bailey came to tell me the surgery was going to take longer, when she asked and Andy agreed to go with Bailey to help her try and answer Teddy’s questions about how and why there were these conflicting problems in your ribs they could not understand, I knew.” She looked at Maya, smiling sadly, seeing the confusion in her face. 

“As a surgeon, we cut. It is the myth of Hollywood that we do no harm. We do lots of harm, with our sharp scalpels and our incisions, but we do them for good reason, to save and improve life, repair bigger harms. Information from scans and tests and our experience help us to try to do minimal harm as we save and repair, but at some point we run out of information and we have to find out for ourselves, and then, in the OR, our only diagnostic tool is our eyes, we have to find what we recognise as the root cause of the problem and then we can start to fix and repair and to save. Teddy and Maggie, they got to the point where they did not have enough information to understand why your injuries to your ribs were how they were. But if they started to try to diagnose on their own, it would mean big incisions and more transfusions and so, before they did that, they wanted, hoped the team could somehow help them find more information….that is when I saw it in her face, that they were trying to save all of you, you as a firefighter not just as Maya. And that was when she must have seen in mine that I knew.”

“I…” Maya knew her surgery had been long, longer than any of the surgeons had expected, had learned from going through everything more than once with Teddy and Bailey and the others that there had been some things they didn’t understand about her injuries, not until the ‘fire department’ had helped with information about her kit. But this was...she wanted to be helping Carina to find her calm confidence again, not be the one making her relive something she had heard someone say ‘must have been a living nightmare’. “...why Andy?” It wasn’t what she really wanted to ask, but it was somehow all she could think to say to get some words going again.

“Teddy and Owen thought, from their Army experience the answer was in your kit, and so Andy…” Carina would be eternally indebted to their friend for doing this, their friend who insisted Maya just be told ‘the department had helped’ answer the questions about the kit. “Andy went and put her kit on, and then with the help of Sato I think, they tried to get as close to the exact same kit that you had been wearing including your tablet in your hand, your cell phone in your pocket and your big bunch of keys on your belt. And then she went with Bailey to the observation room.”

“For the OR?”

“Si. And over the speakers Teddy and Maggie told Bailey what they were finding that they didn’t understand and Bailey prodded and poked Andy so she knew where the things Teddy and Maggie were confused by were and that is how Andy worked out about your radio breaking up but bruising your ribs and your suspenders deflecting the bullets but bruising your kidney and breaking your ribs. Later, Teddy and Bailey saw the photos of your actual kit and saw that their theories had been accurate, but they had to have Andy help them...and it had to be Andy because you and she are the most similar in size.” 

Carina was relieved that Maya had no questions then, but just let Carina just focus on her own thoughts as she finished this part of her story, drawing strength from Maya’s quiet, steady presence, a constant for Carina to lean on that was at odds with her reputation for always being on the move, unable to settle, a reputation that Carina had always felt was over-exaggerated and rather undeserved.

“I do not know if she understands how close you were to not coming out of the OR still able to be a firefighter, how hard it would have been if she had not been able to help solve the mysteries. Certainly the team does not know, unless Ben has worked it out. And it does not matter now, but then? While she was doing that? Then I could not sit in that room, surrounded by all these people doing what you love, knowing that it might already be finished for you. I needed to do something, to not be looking at firefighters feeling guilty and silently making vows to be better in the future, not when I was wondering if they had already lost that chance as firefighters, so I treated Jack like Andrea when he is sick and took him to x-ray, and then cleaned and stitched his hand and that is when he told me because I asked him to.”

Carina took a shuddering breath, glad when Maya just tilted her head in wordless encouragement to settle against her and to tell her story to Maya’s right foot while being held by her very much alive firefighter, her heartbeat strong in Carina’s ear.

“That was when I learned about this test you have called the Incinerator and how he thought you’d been made Captain having not done it at all, but Robert later told him the truth about your results and scores? He said you would need to explain what happened, because he still didn’t really know, just knew he had been wrong to think you had it easier. But I still do not know what it is.”

Completely unclear where this was going or how or why this was so connected to Carina almost being swept into her own anxiety attack, Maya was just glad this first question after hearing that extra detail about those 24 hours she had no memory of was one she could answer without too much thought, retreating into their new, shared calming routine of embracing Maya’s firefighting geekery and nerdiness.

“The Incinerator is a test building they have at the Fire Academy, that the instructors can turn into anything from a trash can on fire to a full inferno but turn off like you switch off a light. We do it as cadets, learning how to apply all the individual skills we’re taught, following the orders of the instructors who take on the roles of the experienced firefighters, Lieutenants and Captains that will lead you when you’re a Probie. But to become eligible for a Captain’s post, you go back to the Incinerator and do one more test scenario, only this time the test is the inferno and you’re in the fire, giving the orders, making the choice between saving the casualty and saving your team. It was the final test, not run very often for Captains, only when there was a vacancy, and you could only do it after passing all the other tests and exams. Like the final interview only...” Maya made a wry smile, already wincing at the bad joke she couldn’t not make. “...a literal roasting.”

“The name makes sense now,” said Carina quietly, continuing with her aimless squiggles on Maya’s left thigh as she listened to the first of her missing pieces from Jack’s story being filled in.

“It only made sense afterwards, when Chief Dixon made it publicly clear he’d decided making a firefighter Captain was just a paper exercise and a new style helmet, but then he’d been made Chief by the Mayor without ever holding a hose. He cancelled all the extra exams and tests for Captain eligibility and must have made someone cancel the Incinerator Test even before he was announced I guess. I remember, it was cancelled at 8am on the day we were meant to be reporting to the Academy to do it at, 9? 10? Can’t remember exactly but it wasn’t much longer than that, but we were all ready, our station rosters sorted super last minute so we were able to go to do the Test.” 

“This was with Robert? He was your Battalion Chief?”

“No, this was with Chief Sato. He has been a Chief for longer than I’ve been in the Department, think he came and taught us something at the Academy. Back then, like now, 19 was in his Battalion as one of 12 stations. But as soon as Dixon arrived he split the Battalions up so we matched the police divisions. Chief Sato’s Battalion became 7 stations and we were put with another 4 stations in the new Battalion that Dixon then gave to Sullivan.”

“Ah, and now it is back how it was before? 12 of you with Chief Sato?”

“Yeah, not quite the same 12, but yeah, like it was before.... I might be a bit wrong about the ordering of stuff, it was a strange time, after Ripley...Chiefs aren’t supposed to die on active duty, nevermind the Fire Chief being the one who dies. Now, looking back, it felt like five minutes between Ripley being Chief and Dixon being in the Station, but…”

“The memory plays its tricks sometimes to help us, even though we are more accustomed to its tricks being cruel and mean,” said Carina simply, understanding how chaotic a time it must have been - as doctors they’d picked up on the unease and tension from the firefighters as they handed off their patients to them, treating more of them for minor scalds and sprains that spoke of broken concentration and fractious tempers, but not knowing anyone personally, and not really knowing Bailey or Ben all that well then, she’d not kept track of all the names and details like she would now.

“I guess, it was strange, out of nowhere having Sato telling me I’d be pulled out of rotation on whatever day it was the following week to take the Incinerator, only to have it cancelled in the morning...this was all before Dixon was announced…like the Chiefs knew there was about to be a Captain’s vacancy coming up and felt it important that those of us who were eligible to be considered, who would have been maybe invited to take the Incinerator in the usual way, had the chance to do it. Clearly Sato and the other Chiefs didn’t agree with whoever it was that was telling them they couldn’t do the Incinerator, so they sent however many of us it was to the State Academy as they had the same test building and as Chiefs, they knew how to set up the fire for the Captain’s test. But unlike the time Jack and Andy went, when there were lots of Lieutenants taking the test, rather than all going as a group and running it multiple times so everyone got a leading chance and a chance to do it not leading, we went individually with the Chiefs as our team and only did it once in the lead.”

“No practices, just your final?”

“Yeah. And since Dixon if he was already in but not announced, or whoever his spy was I guess, couldn’t know about it because then he’d presumably find a way to dismiss every firefighter we had with any actual experience as a Shift Commander on his first day, it was done when we were off-duty, each going out there individually with the Chiefs, and I...understood how it was better for the Chiefs, who were risking a lot to help us complete our eligibility requirements, if I didn’t tell anyone. I only know one other Lieutenant who definitely did it…so I guess I wasn’t the only one to work that out.” 

“That sounds much harder than the old way. Who was on your team that you led? Can I know?”

“Don’t see why not... it was me leading a State Chief, Sato and Cooke.”

“Cooke, why is that name familiar?”

“He was the Battalion Chief alongside Dixon when he was trying to make me volunteer to take the blame for Captain Herrera.” That was what had made that whole thing even worse than it already was when Dixon was trying to get into her head and make her think she was a charity pick, because sitting right there next to him, nodding along like he agreed with everything the Chief was saying was Battalion Chief Cooke who had followed her orders through the Incinerator Test and knew that she wasn’t a charity pick, knew that she was a legitimate choice and fucking congratulated her when they came out together at the end on making the hard decisions with maturity. 

“Ah. That was…”

“Difficult for both of us, but doesn’t matter anymore...I knew then, just like I knew when I then told Sullivant I wanted to be considered for Captain, that I had completed an Incinerator Test and had the same right to put myself forward as anyone else...I just didn’t know the others, Andy and Jack I mean, didn’t know I had...even though it was the State one not the Seattle one.”

“But the team did not know?” That to Carina just sounded weird.

“No, but that wasn’t unusual. We only knew about Jack and Andy because they were both doing them at the same time and Frankel was making it weird.”

“Frankel? I do not know that name.”

“She was Battalion Chief when Andy’s Dad was Captain, before Sato was our Chief the first time?” Carina nodded, understanding the Battalion Chief timeline now. “She was in charge of the final assessment and decision as to who should replace him. But she was...weird about it for some reason, more than just Andy being ‘legacy’ and Ripley stepped in and took over the process. But I think it was also a bit unusual because there hadn’t been a Captain’s vacancy for years so almost every Lieutenant wanted to try for it, and a few Captains wanted to transfer I think too. That was when Ripley was our Captain for a bit. Think she must have retired or something, because round about the same time we didn’t really have a Battalion Chief either, we just had Ripley.”

“Si? But I thought it was Robert before you as Captain?” Carina had thought she’d at least got the Station 19 Captains clear - Herrera, Sullivan, Bishop - even if all the various Chiefs were still a bit of a muddle until a few moments ago, not knowing Robert’s battalion had been what sounded like a baby one compared to how it was now. “And you became Captain because Robert was Battalion Chief, so…”

“Messy, isn’t it? Between Andy’s Dad and Sullivan, Ripley captained 19…” It took Maya a beat to work out why this was news to Carina. “...it was how he, Ripley I mean and Vic met and became...friends first and then...I’m not sure of the exact timing now and it’s not something to go back and ask her...and officially we all assume and agree they didn’t become serious until Sullivan arrived as Captain a few weeks later. They’d been best friends, so he, Ripley I mean, would come see Robert and he and Vic became a thing...but, well, you know.”

“Si.” 

Andy had, one day when Maya had been out for her run, explained to Carina about Lucas Ripley, who she’d known a bit about from Maggie Pierce and Miranda at the time he was a patient, but at the time she’d not known who Vic Hughes or Robert Sullivan were. It had helped her appreciate why Station 19 found Dixon to be especially offensive as a Fire Chief, and why Carina had been able to pick up on there being this period of time for which, no matter how wild the stories were getting or how much alcohol was drunk, there were never any stories shared by the team.

“Why, if Robert was going to be the Captain, did Ripley put himself as the acting Captain and not one of the other Chiefs? Or get a Lieutenant to cover like you do sometimes?”

“Because it wasn’t quite certain that it was going to be Robert. He was still sort of trying to decide if Andy or Jack should be Captain, that was the second chance thing Jack talked about.”

“Not you?”

“I wasn’t even a Lieutenant.”

“Scusa?”

Carina knew that Maya had gone from Lieutenant to Captain very quickly, and that she had spent less time at Lieutenant than Andy or Jack, but since she’d only met Maya once she was Captain, understanding exactly how long she’d spent at each of the more junior ranks were details she hadn’t gone into, in the same way she’d not explained her precise career path prior to starting her research.

“But you and Andy started together?”

“It...isn’t as tidy as medicine is, going from firefighter to Lieutenant is a choice not every firefighter wants to take - Travis for example, he takes the lead if there isn’t a Lieutenant because he’s the most experienced firefighter by years and years since I’m supposed to treat Robert like he’s just finished the Academy. And Travis is really knowledgeable, knows how to do every type of scene but he doesn’t want to be a Lieutenant, won’t take the big exam even though he’d pass it probably without even needing to study for it.”

“And you didn’t do the Lieutenant studying but Andy did?”

“I...did bits of the studying with Andy, but only as a study buddy, not to sit the exams. Then she was stuck because she was a legacy.”

“Legacy?” Carina remembered hearing Andy described that way before, but it took her a second to place it. “Ah, her father? She had...expectations on her?”

“A Captain can promote a firefighter within their own Station if they have space on the roster and they’re qualified for that rank. Otherwise, to actually use that rank you have to apply for a Station transfer when a vacancy appears.”

“Ah, si, Finch explained that to me. And Andy being ‘legacy’ couldn’t apply for a vacant Lieutenant spot at another Station?” 

“Wouldn’t is probably more accurate, especially as she was still living with her Dad then. Plus it is unlikely any station would have taken her because the second Lieutenant’s spot on our shift was technically vacant, so her applying for a transfer would look like there was something wrong with her, or was a free pass to piss off her Dad.”

“So why didn’t she get the spot on your shift? If it was vacant?” Carina hoped she was keeping track of all the puzzles within puzzles, but it was tempting….if her office was not in boxes and she knew where to find them, she would probably go and get a pad and pen to start taking notes.

“That second spot had been vacant since before Andy and I arrived as Probies, her father had been too used to only having one, think maybe because there’d only been one when he was Lieutenant.”

“Why didn’t Jack transfer? If he was in love with her as you said he was then and knew that was stopping her getting her career…”

“Because you don’t transfer from 19.” Maya smiled when she saw Carina’s eyes roll, pleased that their detour into Station 19 politics was somehow helping her thoughts clear, even if Maya’s were getting ever more tangled. “No, I’m serious...any firefighter in the department will tell you that. We…” Maya tried to think of a way to explain it. “...what a fire station gets in terms of calls is determined by two things, what sort of places it has in its district and what units it has.”

“And you have three units, so had to do three turns…” said Carina, drawing three circles on Maya’s left thigh through her shorts, smiling as she looked at her cap, worn by her bear and safely sitting on the bookshelves behind her new desk at the moment, looking back at them.

“Yeah, which gives us lots of possible scenes we get sent to, but our District has lots of variety in it too - because of where we are we have everything from downtown and here to the expensive suburbs, industrial sites and even the airport.”

“The airport? You could go to the planes?”

“More likely the airport buildings - the airport has its own fire station and they do the specialist training for dealing with planes on fire, but if there’s a bigger incident at the airport terminal, or all the terminal building annual inspection work checking their certificates and so on, that’s us not them.”

“And that makes you a special station, because you are big and have a district full of interesting unique places?”

“Mostly yeah, also we’re the best.”

“Ma-ya…” Carina very, very gently nudged her girlfriend’s left knee with her finger for that apparent display of ego.

“Seriously, the department have all these statistics to measure our performance...like how quickly we get the engine out, how often we break our equipment or have injuries that could have been avoided with better training...and those say we are the best. And when the best performing station is also the most interesting one…”

“...you do not leave it unless you are forced to. So Jack and Andy stayed.” Carina mentally withdrew her knee prod, glad she had only done it lightly, even by treating Maya very gently because of all her injuries levels of prodding.

“Yeah...how did we end up on this?”

“Because you were staying at the best station as a firefighter who didn’t want to be a Lieutenant?”

“Pretty much, I just liked being a very good firefighter. But Ripley told me I should go for Lieutenant...after he’d entered me for the exams.”

“Could he do that?”

“He was both Chief and my Captain at the time...and I think he knew I’d done most of the studying already...and that I wouldn’t enter myself.”

“Why not?”

“Because Andy and Jack were Lieutenants by then, one thing her Dad did finally get right, so asking to do the Lieutenant tests felt like sticking my hand up and asking to leave the only place I’d felt at home since...since Mas was talking to me.” Maya swallowed, watching Carina’s fingers drawing circles on her left thigh, playfully tensing her quad muscle under her finger to see if that disturbed her rhythm. It didn’t, but did get her a prod or two mid circle. “And I thought it would be ok because he’d make Andy Captain…”

“...and then there would be a vacant Lieutenant space at 19…” said Carina, finally understanding the piece of the puzzle that had never made sense to her about how and why Maya and Andy had fallen out so badly as friends such that her reaction on hearing Maya had asked Andy to move in with them for a bit had been ‘but you don’t like each other’.

“Yeah…but I got my Lieutenant’s stripe when it was Sullivan as Captain and was two weeks from transferring to 23 but then he kept all three of us as Lieutenants. And...have you ever gone and studied for something just because it’s there? Because it might be interesting or it might be useful...and you know deep down that you can do it?”

“Si, that is how I have the same general surgery qualification as Andrea.” 

“And why you didn’t do the paperwork for your Board thing?”

“Si, to avoid the drama. So you did the Captains studies and exams but did not tell anyone at first to avoid the drama?

“Yeah, and doing it to be a Captain meant leaving 19 and it wasn’t like I was trying to be Captain because there was the Incinerator...” Maya didn’t quite sound convinced yet, like she was still puzzled by something, something that Carina hated her girlfriend still had inside her head from that man - how could she have thought that it was a valid choice to stay for family and variety and not chase the shiny stripe above everything?

“...that you suddenly did with these Chiefs and scored higher than either Jack or Andy had done.” Now Carina understood why Jack had said what he’d said to the team, why what he’d heard had meant he broke someone’s nose, and not just ‘someone’, but another Lieutenant’s nose.

“How’d…”

“I know? Jack told me, well, told all of your team and I think, si, Bailey was sitting with us then too then, after she’d tried to make him have his hand looked at after he had ignored Warren’s attempt, before the news about you...at least, he just told the team you’d done better at it than he or Andy.”

“This was before the surgery problems?”

“Si. This was still fairly early in the wait….before Mason had arrived.”

“How did Jack know?”

“Robert had told him eventually.”

“Andy didn’t say anything?”

“She told everyone she also knew...Jack and she compared their facts and Jack said Robert only told Andy sometime after his surgery, but before the hearing. That man kept a lot of secrets...” mumbled Carina, understanding from her friendship with Amelia that it was part of the addiction, and a part that was just as dangerous as the actual drug abuse, but she did not want to think any deeper about that now, knowing that this was all now in the past, for everyone.

“When did Jack find out?” And why did no one tell her about all these secrets they’d been sharing their shift with? As if the ghosts of Vasquez and Ripley and Captain Herrera hadn’t made it hard enough?

“Jack said Robert told him after he found out about Andy and him being married. That he could understand why that might have made it difficult for him to pick Andy, but what had Jack done wrong, especially as he’d sat all the exams and this Incinerator Test….why do he and Andy keep singling it out even when just comparing each other’s chance at Captain? You being at the State one I can understand them trying to fight, but they were both in Seattle yes?”

“Andy failed it, and Jack...didn’t do it the way you were supposed to, but ended up with a result that Ripley said had to count as a pass. Which is such a Jack thing to do.”

“Si, I can see why you say that,” agreed Carina, finding her last bits of anything negative that she’d still felt for Jack had gone that night as she’d cleaned his hand, understanding finally then that just as she knew how broken Maya had been then compared to now, and how hard she had worked to heal herself, and their relationship, Jack had been in his way also broken, and was also now a different person. The two of them healing to the extent that they had, also now meant that where there had been only a short gap they needed to pull together or be pushed across in order to have had their angry sex, now it was a very, very vast distance that neither wanted to ever cross. 

“That is when Robert showed Jack your scores and your Incinerator Test times and in Jack’s words told him some honest truths that, at first made his messy head messier.” He’d said it had also played a part in what had made him even think about trying to have angry sex with Maya those few weeks later, despite knowing it meant nothing, like it had meant nothing with Eva, Vasquez’s wife. While Carina was grateful for his honesty, she felt no need to revisit it now herself or ask Maya to as it genuinely no longer mattered to her, so far had Maya and she come. “But you said Robert was not one of the Chiefs at your Incinerator Test?”

“No. I’d done the test before he was Battalion Chief. He didn’t know I was eligible for consideration as Captain until after he was appointed Battalion Chief.”

“Eh?” Carina very nearly pushed against Maya’s ribs in her surprise at this, but caught herself in time.

“Yeah, it’s…” Maya scrunched her nose as she tried to see how this looked from Carina’s perspective. “...I guess because we all work together as a team right up to the second we are not a team, we don’t know how each other is doing in terms of promotion eligibility after a certain point. I mean, unless Andy knew, none of us actually knew Sullivan was eligible to be appointed Battalion Chief...we sort of forget that we might be changing stations for promotions and transfers and think we’re all going to be there together, exactly the same until one day someone has moved. So our training is always split in two very different parts - the written exams and formal tests are all handled by two grades above or headquarters and the practical experience requirement is handled by Captains for Lieutenants and below and then either a Battalion or Deputy Chief.”

“So as Captain you will decide when Emmett is not Probie for everything, tests and experience, but for Andy and Jack you do not do the testing, just the time as Captain opportunities?”

“Yeah, which is why Sullivan only found out that I was theoretically able to be considered for Captain when he became Battalion Chief and would have been told I had all the right exam and test results.”

“And now?”

“Now Chief Sato handles my practical experience requirement for making Battalion Chief and I have a course list from headquarters that tells me what courses I am required to do as a Captain and what courses I can decide to do if I want to work towards being eligible for Battalion Chief. All I have to show to Sato at my reviews are that I have completed the required ones as Captain.”

“That is very secretive.”

“It sounds it doesn’t it?” agreed Maya, not having thought about it like this before. “I guess...when I was doing the Captains tests and exams, Sullivan was either still a bit too new or distant, or off with his leg, and it wasn’t like I was doing them then because I expected to be Captain soon. And I could have discussed them with my Captain, there’s nothing stopping you, but…”

“Your Captain was either off injured or even worse at small talk than you are bella?” teased Carina, settling back into Maya’s side, knowing she wasn’t offending her girlfriend.

“You noticed that about him huh?” agreed Maya, welcoming Carina’s willingness to snuggle again as a very, very good thing. “And after everything that had happened before we got Sullivan as Captain...well, I wasn’t really going to tell Acting Captains Herrera or Gibson about my study project.”

“But it is different now? With your studying?” Carina knew Maya was studying for things at the moment, the details she didn’t fully understand but thought she might try again now she understood some of the fundamentals like the difference between trucks and engines.

“Yeah, Chief Sato and I talk about all of it.”

“You like him.”

“I do, he...he is a brilliant firefighter and I am much happier with him as my Chief than Robert.”

“I am much happier with him as your Chief than Robert,” agreed Carina, thinking that she did not know many Battalion Chiefs, but she had known a lot of Surgery Chiefs in her life and could recognise more of the traits the good surgery chiefs had in George Sato than in Robert Sullivan, and she did not think the drug addiction was the explanation for their absences. “But I still like him as a person and as Andy’s husband.”

“Yeah…” Maya distractedly kissed the top of Carina’s head. “...I do too.”


	50. Chapter 50

“Did you know you set a State record?” Carina asked, changing the subject before her girlfriend’s thoughts could start swirling any deeper, starting to feel a little steadier as talking about this with Maya helped her thoughts to settle, both about that strange time, but also about her own anxieties that today was churning up and trampling through.

“Hmm?” Maya tilted her head so she could look at Carina in confusion. “I did? Oh. No, but then it doesn’t count because I’m not State.”

“Jack said you’d say that, that it was also second only to Ripley’s time for Seattle and would count because the test was identical and Robert said having opinionated Chiefs as your team apparently made it harder not easier.” Carina chuckled. “I could tell when he said that he had no idea what Robert was meaning but he had clearly been too scared to ask, but now I understand. I would not enjoy examining Interns by having to assist them and can see that would make me a very difficult surgeon to lead through a procedure and the exam extra hard to pass.”

“I hadn’t thought about it that way.” She just remembered being mostly glad no one might be trying to deliberately sabotage her attempt like she’d heard Andy describing her experience.

“Jack didn’t think you knew that you were only just second behind Ripley.”

“No, no one ever told me anything except I’d got a textbook pass and was the only Lieutenant at 19 to have that… but I’m glad I didn’t take Ripley’s record.” She missed him, more than she’d realised at first, but it had become a little easier after she’d got to know Chief Sato and he’d helped her in the same ways Ripley had, ways she didn’t notice at the time but was incredibly grateful for after she’d made the connection.

“Jack said that was when he was supposed to understand that you being Captain wasn’t about what he had done wrong, he was supposed to accept that you had done things better, that the same was true for Andy. And that he wished everyone could have known you’d got the State record in the Incinerator and scored really well on all those tests because then they might have been less horrible to you.”

“I don’t, not now.” Maya didn’t hesitate - as much as she hated it at the time, she’d had to learn some hard lessons, and fast and harsh was the only way she’d known. Plus, it hadn’t  _ all  _ been bad...

“I know bella, I said that I did not think you minded.” Carina turned so she could sit more upright, looking properly at her girlfriend. “I did not know they did not know how we met….wait, was that right?”

“Yes!” Maya grinned despite the seriousness of the conversation, knowing Carina’s biggest gripe with English was it never sounded how it was spelled. “And yeah, they just assumed we met at Grey Sloan or Joe’s sometime, not that particular day...but I’d always assumed Jack and Andy did, or guessed, since they were there when I arrived.”

“Jack said the last time they noticed you, you, were still on your own.” Carina’s eyes sparkled. “I think he was trying not to tell me that they did not see me arriving because they were  _ collegamento. _ ” Maya recognised the Italian word Carina said was used to mean ‘hook up’ and pulled a rather expressive face, before deciding that they probably both needed to cleanse their mental image albums of Jack having a  _ collegamento  _ with anyone.

“What did he hear?” 

“Who?”

“Jack? The firefighter he punched. What did he hear them say?” asked Maya, surprising herself at first with the question, because she didn’t really want to be talking about Jack and the mess they’d all got into with the Captain’s race, not now, not anymore, but wanting, needing Carina to have the opportunity to get it out of her thoughts now they’d got this far in, sensing that whatever it was that all this had to do with Carina’s anxieties all combining too close to the surface for her to be able to manage, talking about it had helped. “And why was he even listening if he was going for a walk? When he wants air he’s...worse than Mason at turning his ears off.”

“He said as he went outside he overhead the usual weird shit about how you and Robert were in some complicated blackmail situation, he said you would know what that was about?”

“Yeah, that’s just messed up…” Her brushoff failed to distract Carina, and she smiled ruefully. “Right, of course you want to know everything...umm, the way the ‘weird shit’ version goes is that because Robert ODed in  _ my  _ Station, with drugs he stole from one of  _ my  _ rigs and only he went through disciplinary, I  _ must _ have been appointed Captain by him because I was blackmailing him or something because otherwise why wasn’t in disciplinary with him too. And so when he got demoted to basic grunt and could only stay on if a Captain agreed to take him, I clearly  _ had _ to take him into 19 because he was now blackmailing me about my blackmailing him to become Captain.”

“That is...a weird shit version that ignores he outranked you when he ODed and that initiated the disciplinary after Dixon had pushed it away.”

“Brushed it aside, but yeah. Like Jack said, it’s the usual sort of weird shit some of the department always like to make up about us at 19. And not something he punches people for saying.”

“Si, he said that someone was remembering that and he ignored it like always, but then he heard the firefighter he ended up punching say it was a good thing that you and Robert were so dirty because it meant Andy wasn’t Captain so she wasn’t the one in the street that the police shot. And when they wouldn’t take back their words and apologise, but made it worse because added that they didn’t care if some of the cops turned out to be dirty, they had at least shot a dirty firefighter, he punched them. I think it wasn’t just ‘dirty’ that they accused you of, but Jack would not tell me what else although he said you would know because he had heard you have to put up with it. I think that is why he also punched so hard he broke their nose though.” 

“Oh.” Maya found she couldn’t quite work out what Carina’s expression meant, but at least now understood why all the ancient history had resurfaced for Jack, why he had been so determined to make the team understand more clearly than they ever had that whatever they heard about her, whatever they thought about her when she was first Captain, they had to know she was a qualified and legitimate one. “Do you want me to tell you what that would be? The bit he wouldn’t say?”

“It is going to be about your relationship with me?”

“Kinda, homophobic sexist crap is what it mostly is, didn’t change whether I was last seen out with a girl, a guy or stayed at home with a book. It was enough that I was a woman who had been seen kissing a woman somewhere in the city and was recognised by somebody I guess.”

“I do not need to hear you say those words, I have heard them said about me enough to know what sort of segalio is the speaker.”

“Fair enough...what did you say when he told you?”

“That I was sorry it took me that long to see he had found his path to becoming and being a good man and a good if often irritating friend as well as being a good firefighter. And that while I now do not mind him being in the same room as you, he should check with Inara before he assumes she is ok as she does not know you like I do. Then I finished treating his hand while he laughed.”

“He laughed?”

“Si, apparently Inara had a similar thought at first but had said the same thing on Christmas Day to him after seeing you giving me the cap again...I think...he has changed, no, not changed...it is...like he is finding peace?”

“Yeah. We both have.”

“Si, I think I felt that a long time ago, probably when I let the anger go, but I thought it was because I was prepared to put my faith in him as a good firefighter and not think about him as a person, when perhaps he was already finding out how to be a good person and discovering he liked himself?”

“This is Jack we’re talking about…” said Maya, not disagreeing with Carina’s assessment but deciding they both needed to lighten the tone before Mason returned with Carina’s late lunch. “...he liked Inara liking him when he was showing her and Marcus his good person side and that got him practicing it more.”

“But is that not how we get our strong firefighters to use their words and share their feelings?” teased Carina, deciding she wanted to stop talking for a bit, especially as they had, even by her standards which were rather higher than Maya’s in terms of tolerance for talking about feelings, covered a lot, but sensing also that their calm was now mutual as different pieces of different fractured pictures had been returned to the right spot.

“Are you saying you spotted I like your kisses and are now training me to be a good girlfriend with them?” teased Maya, knowing that was exactly what Carina had been doing to make her be a tolerable patient these last few days.

“No.”

“Oh.”

“It is not just kisses…” Carina leaned forwards, stealing a soft, playful kiss. “I use the puppies and orgasms also...”

“Mmm, you do, don’t you?” Maya’s smile was bright and magnetic, drawing Carina back towards her for another, longer kiss.

“Si...and your favourite foods, I am a very bad girlfriend for that no? Promising to spoil you lots?” While the puppies were a new addition to this teasing, the tease itself was not, and not taken to heart by either as anything meant seriously. A little light hearted extra motivation or encouragement? Absolutely, but nothing stronger than that, and it went both ways.

“As bad as I am…” agreed Maya, smiling despite having her lower lip caught between her teeth, like she was having to physical restrain herself from losing herself in Carina’s kisses...which was exactly what she was having to do. “...though not with cooking so much.” She risked a small kiss, or maybe a not so small kiss, and hindsight would reveal that to be the reason for what happened next.

Maya was an acceptable cook, but not so exceptional she could rely on her food to be persuasive, though she had a very good ‘little black book’ of secret and not so secret places in Seattle that would provide Italian delicacies and treats like the cannoli and coffee that reminded Carina of home, or mean it was possible for Maya to surprise her girlfriend with the latest book by her favourite Italian author, or the three different brands of Italian chocolate that, the careful and strategic sharing of one with Link a few weeks back, seemed to have earned him high praise from Amelia without Carina connecting it to Maya. 

“No, not the food…” agreed Carina, settling carefully and comfortably against Maya’s left shoulder, feeling the right sort of calm settling over her, the sort of calm that she drew from Maya’s comfort and presence, but unlike when they had sat down, this one she could carry with her into the rest of her shift. “...but definitely you are very, very good with your muscles and la biancheria intima…” 

Carina trailed kisses along Maya’s jaw and neck as she took a moment to think about the lingerie Maya managed to surprise her with - a simple sounding task except that Maya was sneaky and stealthy and somehow managed to work out what Carina’s favourite made in Italy and not stocked in America brand of lingerie was, and surprise her with gifts of beautiful pieces that were the right size despite Italian sizing being different to everyone else’s for her birthday and Christmas and sometimes ‘just because’. And do this despite all the problems of the international shipping and customs charges that had meant Carina resigning herself long before she met Maya to endure American lingerie and save her existing Italian made favourites for the very special occasions, only able to treat herself when she went back to Italy. 

“...and orgasms…”

“SHIT! OW!” 

Mason jumped up and down, shaking his hand, dropping what he hadn’t already dropped onto the table. 

“Whatever you thought Carina meant it wasn’t that,” said Maya quickly, somehow managing to avoid jolting in surprise at his abrupt announcement of his presence, probably because of how Carina had been leaning against her...not to mention the kisses that helped.

“Sorry, I’ll just…”

“Sit down here Mason,” said Carina calmly, not remotely concerned about the state of her office carpet or the loss of her coffee, more concerned about his hands, as she stood up and opened the door he had somehow managed to open and close without them noticing. “And your sister is right, we were just teasing each other about silly things after I took my turn having a very big talk with her.”

“Oh.” He blushed. “Right. Still, sorry.”

“We’re the ones who are sorry Mas,” said Maya genuinely, worried about whether he’d burned his hands. “We were just messing with each other, you didn’t interrupt us or anything, promise.” She saw his eyes drifting towards the stain on the carpet. “That’s nothing. This is OBGYN, compared to some of what ends up on the carpet round here, coffee is nothing!” 

“Si…” agreed Carina, stepping back into her office, looking at the floor. “...and I did not like it but was needing an excuse to request it be changed, so…” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “...grazie mille fratellino.”

“Oh, umm…” Mason looked between his sister and her girlfriend, still very confused but picking up on the absence of the really unnerving feeling he had before he’d gone to get the coffee. “...you’re welcome.”

“Thank you Nina.” Carina took the little trolley that the Chief Nurse had quickly prepared for her and pushed it towards Mason, planning on starting to examine his hands herself.

“Dr Avery is on his way to look at Mr Bish…” She stopped herself when she finally registered that her boss’ frown and finally swift headshaking actually meant stop talking, suddenly thinking she could half remember being specifically told by Dr DeLuca to not call him Mr Bishop.

“Scusa, Nina, it is my fault for not doing proper introductions. This is Maya’s brother Mason, what is it you say about being called Mrs Hobbs?”

“That I start looking for my mother-in-law.” The experienced nurse completely understood Carina’s point, and pulled an exaggerated grimace as she looked at Mason. “I can’t stand her. If ever I can’t just get by with ‘Nina’ I manage to cope with Nurse Hobbs, though that makes me feel like I should be in a horror film for some reason.”

“Silhouetted with a hatchet?” guessed Mason, seeing what she meant. “Yeah, please don’t call me Mr Bishop. Mason’s all I’ve got as an alternative though.”

“No, you have ‘Artist in Residence’.” Seeing him looking at her like she was talking in Italian although she knew she wasn’t, Carina tutted and shook her head, starting to eat the flapjacks he had brought her since Nina was starting to wrap his hands with the gel and dressings that would help minimise whatever damage the hot coffee had already done. “When you have your hands back you must look properly at your pass. It is different to the temporary one that Bailey gave you.” Seeing his frown, but pleased he dutifully didn’t move his hands which Nina had already covered with the cooling gel they used for scalds and the like, Carina continued to catch her friend and colleague up on the news. “Addison has already decided that there must be a party to celebrate it being finished so she has an excuse to visit us.”

“Addison?” It took Mason a moment to place the name. “Oh, Amelia’s godson’s mother and the reason you’re her second best favourite OBGYN. Right?”

“Right,” agreed Carina, chewing on the flapjack knowing she needed to eat something before her surgery which Nina had been coming to tell her was still waiting for a theatre slot when she’d started asking where the emergency burn kit was. “But people here also know her as Dr Montgomery, a former Head of this Department.”

“I thought that was someone called Kate?”

“Kate Lachman was Carina’s predecessor Mas,” explained Maya, deciding it wasn’t fair on Nina to explain and Carina... “Hush you, more eating less talking.”

Mason laughed at the sketchy salute Carina threw in his sister’s direction, though she did also obediently keep chewing on the flapjack.

“Dr Montgomery was the Head of Department when I started here Mason,” explained Nina as she continued to start treating his hands while they waited for Dr Avery to come, who her fellow Chief Nurse in Plastics had despatched to come and determine if there was any serious damage, understanding how important hands were to artists, but also knowing that Dr Avery owed Captain Bishop and Dr DeLuca more than one favour which he was damn well going to return now. “She moved to Los Angeles about ten years ago.”

“But you don’t know her from here?” he asked mostly of Carina, but also including his sister.

“I first saw her on a video call on Saturday night…” explained Maya, deciding if Nina didn’t already know she probably should, and Mason was going to have to learn to be fluent in OBGYN without blushing sooner or later. “...you know how Teddy said one of my kidneys is really badly bruised so I had those drips these last couple of days?” He nodded - Maya had asked Teddy very early on to always answer any questions Mason had because Maya wasn’t going to keep any more secrets from him. She had a vague memory from the foggy part of Monday of her explaining to him about what the drips Maya was suddenly connected to were for and why a kidney infection wasn’t that unusual for patients in Maya’s situation but given everything else going on, it wasn’t something Teddy and Bailey were prepared to take any chances with. “Well another of the bullets did a similar sort of almost but not quite my uterus…” She shook her head when is ears went pink, and then when pinker when they heard Carina chuckle. “...don’t worry, I’m not going to make you listen to the details because I’d get something wrong and Carina would start teaching both of us using her really, really creepy model there.”

“You would not, and that is the wrong model for your situation bella.”

“It is?”

“Si, or are you hiding a bambina from me?”

“She’s got you there May,” laughed Mason, not understanding the biology, but knowing there was no way, given all the people who had been interested in scanning and examining her, that Maya had a baby hidden in her uterus, unlike that creepy model on Carina’s coffee table.

“One day you’re going to come in and that baby will be hidden somewhere you don’t expect to find it…” grumbled Maya, not actually planning on hiding part of the models not least because Carina would either start hiding little fire engines or worse, hide the baby somewhere at the station or in the apartment. “So while Teddy can get Bailey to help her out with what is going on with my kidney, it’s not appropriate for Carina to help with Teddy with my uterus.”

“That sentence sounded really weird,” said Mason, picking up on what his sister was thinking and agreeing. “I mean, I know what you mean but I really think you shouldn’t say that where Amelia can hear you.”

“Si!” Carina had finished her flapjacks and was opening the apple juice he had bought her and, after checking with Maya, splitting it between the two plastic cups Mason had also brought them, topping Maya’s up with water so it was fairly dilute. “She confused Mason very badly by telling him that ‘lady bits were my jam’.”

“Sounds like Amelia,” agreed Maya, not immediately seeing what the problem was. “But what’s confusing about that? Brains are her jam, as she’s constantly telling people, usually when eating toast.”

“Si, but Amelia did not know he did not know what my specialty was, just that I was with you, a doctor and that both of us have ‘lady bits’.”

Unfortunately Nina, despite all her professionalism, couldn’t stop herself from reacting to that and for a brief second before she recovered herself, laughed.

“Si, you are allowed to find it funny,” encouraged Carina, grinning wickedly when another thought occurred to her. “And I see now I was lucky he had not heard her talk about a threesome and call me Dr Orgasm in the same sentence.”

“Organism.”

“No Mas,” said Maya shooting affectionate daggers at her girlfriend as she tried desperately not to laugh, knowing it would only hurt. “Her hospital nickname is Dr Orgasm.” Fortunately he was familiar now with the threesome reference.

“Oh, so…” He looked from his sister to Carina, then Nina, who seemed to be his most sympathetic option for trying to make sense. “...my sister’s girlfriend is also known as Dr Orgasm and lady bits are her jam?”

“You’ve met Amelia then…” said a new voice appearing in the doorway, grinning as he caught the apple Carina flung in his direction and seemed unfazed by Maya giving him the middle finger.

“Umm…”

“You’re Mason right? Maya’s brother?”

“Yeah…”

“And a painter I hear?” He grabbed some gloves from the trolley and, hooking Carina’s coffee table with his foot to pull it a bit closer, sat down on it so he could look closely at Mason’s hands as Nina took away the dressings she’d draped over them.

“Dr Bailey’s asked me to paint a mural, yeah.”

“This is Jackson Mason,” explained Carina, realising his confusion was not being helped by her failing to complete her introduction of Nina earlier. “He is Head of Plastic Surgery here and the best person to check your hands to see if the scalds need any special treatment.”

“But it was just coffee, I mean…” He looked at Maya, struggling with being made a fuss of.

“You remember Carina telling us about the patient my team brought in with the assistance dog?” asked Maya, seeing him nod, having worked out a way of temporarily tackling his rising panic. “The doctor who wanted her help as a favour is Jackson, so my guess is since she’s got to go see her next patient as soon as she’s finished her juice she’s making him return the favour he owes her so she doesn’t worry about both of us while she’s operating on someone who’s about to become a Mom.”

“I think she wanted to eat her apple too, but I’m not giving that back to her as I haven’t had any lunch yet,” added Jackson, astute enough to see what Maya was trying to do. “But there’s quite a few fire engines between here and Joe’s so I can’t get out for a burger.”

“Trucks, some of them are trucks…” sighed Maya, shooting daggers at him. “...and you’re such a wimp Avery.” She knew he was still trying to avoid Vic, despite them both moving on.

“Si, you are all mind readers and I…” She sighed, hearing another knock at her office door. “...am apparently very popular. Come in?” She saw Julia stick her head around the door. “Julia, you know Maya…” 

Maya raised her cup of apple juice but otherwise didn’t stop watching Jackson’s assessment of her brother’s hands, knowing enough about scalds to be glad that Carina, favour or not, had somehow managed to get Jackson to come and look at his hands, especially given he’d only had the dressing taken off the back of his hand in the last day or so. 

“...and this is her brother Mason who arrived in the middle of his sister’s bad joke and burned his hand with the coffee he had bought me. Jackson is looking at them and annoying Maya at the same time so please ignore them behaving like little children. Do we have a theatre?”

“OR 4 in fifteen minutes.”

“Eh? But we…”

“Weren’t expecting a theatre slot for at least another two hours? Dr Bailey and Dr Hunt have just redone all the boards and we got lucky. I’m just on my way to prep her for transfer…”

“But why…” Carina’s mind was a whirl as she swallowed the last of her juice and grabbed her white coat and stethoscope, trying to work out how they had got to the top of the list so far considering she had not yet told Mrs Florres about the surgery.

“Are we ready? Because as soon as I went in with the results of her blood tests she was telling me about the surgery you had explained to her she would need if the results were above point 2 and she had her pen ready because she could tell from my face the results were above that so where was the form because it clearly was time for her to have a baby.” Julia looked a mixture of amused and embarrassed. “So I apologised and said I’d be right back with the forms and she said she’d ring her mother and tell her to speed up the knitting because she was going to be a grandma today. I was going to tell you this but you were talking to the firefighters who kept taking fire extinguishers up onto the roof so I thought you'd prefer I just kept going with Mrs Florres while you stopped the hospital catching fire."

“She is…” Carina’s smile told Maya that everything they’d talked about had been worth it, because that, right there, was proof that Carina’s feet were back under her and she was absolutely ready for whatever the rest of the day was going to throw at her. “...a very unique lady. And I did not stop the hospital catch fire. Who is saying that?”

“Yeah you did, and Bailey so don't argue. And I wish all my patients were that agreeable,” complained Jackson in good humour, turning to look over his shoulder at Carina. “Or I was that good a doctor,” he added more seriously, knowing it took a lot of experience and skill to be able to get a patient into that mindset, glad that Carina was finally able to lead the department, glad too that the good members of her inherited team like Nina and Julia were recognising that. “Thanks for the apple by the way, you mind if I finish up here?”

“No, do you need anything we do not have?”

“Nope, all good.” That was all that was needed between the two doctors for Carina to know that Mason’s hands were fundamentally fine but Jackson would take the time to make sure they were not only going to heal, but heal properly and quickly so as to not affect Mason’s hands in the future, and also mean she could go and operate with a clear focus.

“Will you…” Carina stopped talking when she saw Maya’s finger twitch, suggesting she was concentrating on the radio Carina had forgotten about, and carried on reading and signing the paperwork Julia had brought for her to sign so she could complete the final prep for Mrs Florres’ rapidly reorganised surgery, not sure if she was glad or worried by the sudden reminder about the fire department activity.

“Sorry, that was Sats confirming the department generators are connected in, tested and made secure while yours are fully isolated and shut off.”

“What does that mean?” asked Nina, leaping on the word generators. “Sorry, I mean…”

“It means that whatever happens to your main power supply, your NICU units won’t need to use their batteries because we’ve got our generators now up on the roof and connected in for you.”

“How long will they…” Nina was struggling to contain the relief she was feeling at hearing that, having been carrying around the tension of knowing they were struggling if there was a power problem for so long she’d stopped noticing the stress.

“As long as you need them to. We won’t switch the our ones out until the hospital has put in place an alternative that’s as secure and safe, whether that’s by fixing the existing ones or bringing in temporary ones like we’ve done.” Maya belatedly realised Jackson was on the Board, which possibly explained why he was paying such close attention to what she was saying, possibly closer than anyone and she was conscious that Nina and Julia had been just as worried as Carina had been. 

“How long can they run? I mean, if there’s a problem with the main power.”

“As long as you need them for Nina.”

“We can breathe again,” said Carina quietly, looking at Maya with such raw relief and love that it caught Julia and Nina off guard and made Mason smile, now he knew he wasn’t the only one to be surprised by the depth of love that existed between the two. “We are no longer stuck."

“Lieutenant Sato, though I call Sats,” explained Maya patiently, starting to not be able to ignore the exhaustion now she was no longer worrying about Carina or the NICU power or the hospital roof catching fire, seeing Nina nod. “He’s going to come and find you in about half an hour I’d guess, and explain to you what we’ve done and what’s going to happen if there is a storm, stuff like that. He’s…” She grinned. “Think of him as the Fire Department’s Chief Electrician but not as rude as the hospital’s one. He’s just sorting out the final bits and pieces up there with Jack, Lt Gibson.”

“19’s up there?” asked Jackson, not realising it was Maya’s team in the lead.

“You really weren’t listening to me on your first PRT shift were you?”

“Nope.”

“That smile does not work on her Jackson,” cautioned Carina, handing back everything she’d been reviewing and signing to Julia, not needing to look at him to know what sort of smile he was trying to charm her girlfriend with. “What did he not listen to you tell him bella?”

“Many things including what the difference is between a fire engine and a fire truck, but also that while this may be his hospital, it’s in my district.”

“Si, and she is right.” Carina squeezed Jackson’s shoulder in silent thanks as she passed behind him, stopping in front of Maya and leaning down to talk to her quietly. “You will go back to your room and rest?”

“Yeah, mind if I wait here until Ricky can take me?”

“Of course.” Carina leaned in and kissed Maya on the lips, “grazie bella.”

“What for?”

“Not making me have to ask you to not walk back to your room, and for…”

“You’re feeling better.” Maya didn’t need to ask, she could tell.

“Si, very much, but are you…”

“Yes, promise. It wasn’t new for me, I just wish you’d not had to go through it all.”

“Bene.” Carina kissed Maya again. “Please thank the Chief when you speak to him, I am very, very relieved. And I will make it a priority to read my new blue binder.”

“I am too, relieved I mean. And you shouldn’t rush to read that binder, I suspect you’ll be getting a new one soon.”

“Si?”

“Something tells me that the arrival of a new Head of Department is shaking the place up a bit and going to see a few people decide to make a few changes around here, starting with some emergency power supplies.”

“That would be good,” agreed Carina, kissing Maya slowly, feeling her girlfriend’s sleepiness.

“Now go bring a baby into the world before we get a reputation for being mushy.”

“Si, mio amore...” Carina caught the look Jackson was sharing with Mason. “...but I think it is too late for that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And breathe.... *g*.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :-)  
> For the benefits of those reading in real time who might have seen the s4 resumption....I was selectively adopting s4 canon anyway (basically Maya and Carina cute stuff only). This is still in effect.
> 
> Oh, and because I wanted to iron out all of my 'I fixed it for you' backstory omissions before s4 resumed, I slightly skimped on the little comments and observations along the way in the last few chapters...don't think I missed anything huge, but for those of you interested:  
> \- a little bit of digging made me discover that Station 25 in Seattle does exist, and does have the foam truck and the power unit support unit (according to their wikipedia entry at least)  
> \- the 'West Seattle Fire Academy' scenes in s2 e01 were filmed somewhere called The Admiral's House in Seattle, so that rather nice hilltop lawn with view of Seattle across the sound is entirely accurate and I'm stealing :-)  
> \- Carina's research question to the interns is a real one. There really was something quite, quite strange happening in the US in the 1960s (aka the 'Call the Midwife' era for those watching that show's more recent series) relative to the countries Carina mentioned in that home/hospital deliveries supervised by Midwives only were turned against and even today are much harder to come by in certain states with all sorts of different rules  
> \- Battalion Chief Cooke was the guy sat next to Dixon in the 'let's investigate Maya' scene  
> \- Frankel in s1 did have 12 stations, Sullivan did have 5 stations when he was Battalion Chief. Something went squinty along the way and I think Sato looks kind and friendly so he's my default good guy Battalion Chief :-)
> 
> I don't think I missed any big blocks of Italian, I have caught up on all your wonderful comments, and I have drawn a teddy bear firefighter as requested in a comment a few chapters back - but you need to wander over to my tumblr (same user ID ncruuk) to see it (and I'm sure many can do better).
> 
> Thank you to everyone for sticking with this for so long, time for some more?
> 
> Enjoy.....

“Ow…” 

Maya blinked sleepily and instinctively reached for her stiff neck. 

“...shit! Ow!”

With her right hand.

“Here.” A warm towel, wrapped and rolled into a neck support was tucked in around her shoulders and a cup of weak apple juice was put in front of her mouth. “Sip to make your mouth wet, then close your eyes if you don’t like needles.”

“Huh?” Sleepily, still very fuzzy, Maya obediently took a second sip of the weak juice then forced her eyes open. “Not Carina…”

“Gold star Captain,” teased Amelia, putting down the cup on Carina’s coffee table, reaching for some gloves.

“Wha…” Maya’s ribs and collarbone were starting to settle again, making it a little easier for her to focus.

“Am I doing here?” asked Amelia, waiting for Maya to focus on her. “Your brother sent us a group text, wondering what to do when you fell asleep here.” She waited while Maya looked around, realising she was still sitting on Carina’s office couch, her foot resting on the cushion covered crate. “And we decided to let you sleep here.”

“We?”

“You slept through Bailey, Teddy and me stood over you talking about you until your ears should have needed the guys with the hoses to come down and put them out for you.”

“Oh, that’s very asleep.” Maya rarely slept that well, even with Carina’s presence to help her thoughts stay below super-fast speeds. She also didn’t stay sleepy once she was awake, except in the most specific of circumstances, involving either medication or Carina, so she understood why if she was  _ that _ asleep the doctors who were also friends decided to not prioritise hustling her back to her patient room. But she was a very quick waker, no matter how asleep she ended up getting unless medication was involved.

“Yeah. We thought it best to let you stay sleeping here and keep an eye on you.” Amelia gestured to the stack of charts on Carina’s coffee table Maya had missed in her first glance round the office. “Not surprised how well you managed to sleep, her new couch is more comfortable than the other ones and her office is way cooler than mine.”

“Didn’t you refuse to have a nice office in the last reshuffle though because you hate offices but wanted a space to see patients who weren’t in bed?” asked Maya, remembering a particularly animated dinner party they’d had at the apartment, not long after Andy had moved out, when Carina cooked for Teddy and Amelia and Maya had first started to properly understand the group’s unique dynamic. “Where’s…”

“Carina? She’s still in surgery. Apparently the baby delivered fine and is already doing whatever babies need to do to make them a NICU superstar despite only being two hours old.” Amelia wasn’t sure what exactly was causing Maya’s frown, but decided to plough on and hope to cover its cause with the rest of her news. “Carina had to deliver the baby early because of something else that’s happening in the mother that didn’t respond to a drug treatment. So she’s now doing the surgery on the mother for that,”

“Oh, now before makes sense.” Maya smiled as she saw Amelia’s eyebrow rise. “I mean, how stressed Carina was about everything with the generators happening at the same time as having to go talk to that patient about surgery. She…” Maya tried to work out how to explain it. “...it’s like she gets one sort of stress if she has to go tell a patient she’s got to intervene and deliver their baby in a rush, for the safety of the baby, and another sort of stress if she’s got to go tell a not pregnant patient she’s got to take them into surgery in a rush for their safety. But when the two combine she gets a sort of nervy stressed.” Maya saw Amelia’s nod of understanding but was worried she’d done her girlfriend a disservice. “That makes her sound constantly freaked out, I don’t mean…”

“Operating and telling the patient I’ve got to operate on them  _ right now  _ are two very different things, so I know what you mean.” She looked thoughtfully at Maya, realising how deeply the Captain understood Carina to be able to pick up on those nuances in her reactions. “Nina said they think Carina’s going to be another two to three hours, if there are no complications.”

“Huh.” Maya sipped her juice again, noticing Amela was wearing surgical gloves. “Where are your hands going?” she asked, not making any attempt not to not seem suspicious.

“Your left thigh.” She held up the syringes that were sitting in the metal tray that was also on the coffee table. “Your brother fortunately texted us before Teddy’s nurses launched a search party for you. But you’re a bit behind on your afternoon meds, so you’ll look away and thank me nicely after I dose you up.”

“Are they…”

“The ones that don’t make you feel sick? Yes, Link’s still banned from mixing your cocktails, and so this is the same mix you’ve been on the last two days. We just thought we’d wait for you to be awake before we started stabbing you with pointy things…” Amelia picked up from Maya’s resolute staring at the ceiling that she was noticing the aches and yells of her body again, and Amelia should just get on with it, so she did. “...you know, bedside manner and all that.”

“Thanks…” Maya’s face twitched as she felt the needle go in. “...is Bailey ok?”

“Bailey?” It took Amelia a second to answer, partly because she was switching to the other injection Maya needed, and partly to try and work out why Maya might have the Surgery Chief on her ‘worried about’ list ahead of her brother. “She’s like a big kid in a candy store right now. All done.” As Amelia took off her gloves and put aside the injection paraphernalia, she tried not to laugh at Maya’s look of surprised shock. “Apparently, because of how badly hospital maintenance screwed up, Carina calling you not them calling 911 meant we got an even faster response time than we usually would get?” Amelia didn’t understand that part of the message, but had guessed she’d get an explanation from Maya.

“Chief Sato…” Maya saw the name wasn’t clicking for Amelia. “The guy who spoke with Teddy? From the Fire Department?”

“Oh, your boss, right.”

“He was visiting me when Carina rang, so I guess our response looked a little different.”

“That makes more sense now, where was...oh, right, so because of how you guys then responded, there’s been no disruption inside the hospital, which means there’s nothing for Bailey to do as medical liaison, though we’ve still got…”

“Two ladder trucks, a foam truck, the power unit team and three, no…” Maya paused, “five engines on site.” Then she grinned at Amelia’s jaw dropping. “Not ESP.” She carefully tilted her head to her right, the meds and the warm towel helping to alleviate the stiffness in her neck. “The Chief just did a scene update for the Captain from Station 45 by radio.” The radio had been on quietly, and now Maya was awake again her ear had automatically tuned into it. “Oh, and three Aid Cars.”

“Why them, I mean…”

“Why do we bring our own Aid Cars to a hospital? Basic probability. By the time we have that many units on scene, it’s inevitable there will be minor injuries that need quick patch jobs, plus they double as welfare stations for mandatory rest breaks.” She looked thoughtful, picturing how everything would be arranged around the building, which would have wiped out all the hospital parking and there would just be two routes up to the building for vehicles now, one for Aid Cars and Ambulances into the ER and one for visitors to drop off and be collected. “How does all that make Bailey happy?”

“Since she’d had her surgeries transferred to other surgeons, and we’re still technically under the IMP, uh, our incident protocol, she told your Chief she’d be in her office doing paperwork and charts.”

“That makes her mad, not happy.” Maya was missing something, she could see in Amelia’s amused look that it was something she knew, which irked her.

“Do you remember when you were working out what you wanted to say? When you spoke with Teddy and your boss?” asked Amelia, deciding it wasn’t fair to tease Maya too much given she was a patient who really shouldn’t have left her ward yet, nevermind having naptime out of bed. She’d also remembered just in time to not describe Maya’s moment with the press as a ‘press conference’. She wasn’t fully aware of the problem that caused the fire captain, but in the last few days had picked up on how Carina and Teddy were just describing it without mentioning media or press.

“She was really fascinated with our scene control…how do you know about that?” Maya remembered Sato coming back in, just as she’d been trying to explain what they kept track of during a scene and taking over fielding all of Bailey’s questions while Maya went through the reports of the scene she’d been at when she was shot with Teddy.

“She was telling us all about it. Think it’s done wonders for her feeling a little easier about Ben.”

“Ah.” Maya saw how Amelia could infer that conclusion she supposed, but she was still not connecting that with Bailey not being in a mood...and then she saw what could Bailey being so happy. “...is she shadowing Sato as IC?”

“If IC is Incident Commander, yeah.” Amelia reached for her phone and found the photo Mason had sent her, passing it to Maya. “I think she looks cute though, but…”

Maya managed to catch herself before she started laughing, but Amelia was right. Miranda did look rather cute in the ‘Observer’ helmet and turnout coat she was wearing, the coat positively swamping her. “We must make sure Warren has a copy of that.”

“Oh, already handled by your team. Multiple angles I understand.”

“Good...so she’s not mad with Carina?”

“Who, Bailey?” Amelia, taking her phone back, was now scanning the emails that she’d received while working on her charts. “Total opposite.” She put her phone aside, wondering what had prompted the question. “You weren’t…”

“Me? No.” Maya thought about what she said, but this wasn’t any doctor watching over her while she slept, this was Amelia, who for all of her jokes and teases, was her girlfriend’s best friend. “We’ve been highlighting rooftop generators for a few years now, encouraging buildings to move them down to ground level. Might actually have been a code write up by the next inspection. And Carina did the right thing as far as we’re concerned at the department.”

“But?”

“Was the meeting on Saturday night difficult?” Amelia’s face encouraged Maya to keep talking. “I don’t mean what you talked about, I mean, people giving Carina a hard time?”

“Oh.” Amelia’s pause told Maya plenty and made her heart sink, not surprised if she was honest with herself, knowing the hospital administration was much more than the half a dozen senior doctors Maya knew enough to think of as friends or on the way to being friends. “There was no one banging tables or declaring they’d resign if she was appointed.”

“That’s quite a low bar.”

“True, and I’m thinking who was there and trying to work out whether their indifference was because they’re male chauvinist pigs who don’t think much of anything a woman surgeon does, whether they’re the sort that doesn’t consider anything other than their specialty worth moving facial muscles for, or whether there is anyone who really didn’t like it.”

“Your meetings sound about as fun as the Captain Meetings I have to go to.”

“Oh? You’re not the only woman though, right?”

“No, there’s another one of us at the moment. But I am the youngest, and I’m Captain at 19.”

“That’s a problem?”

“We’re...Carina has this phrase she uses sometimes, ‘big heroes’ to describe some of the medical and surgery specialties?”

“Oh yeah, like if there’s a conference slot we get the opportunity to send a speaker to, there’s the presumption that as long as Cardio, or Neuro, or Vascular have something to present, they’re going to go ahead of Ortho, Trauma, General or Plastics. Unless it’s oncology related, then everyone gets interested.”

“Not Paediatrics?”

“They generally have their own conferences to be honest, but I didn’t say OBGYN.” Amelia looked unhappy, especially when Maya raised her eyebrow, waiting for Amelia to say it. “I’ve just proved Carina’s point haven’t I?”

“Yeah, except I think she’d hope you’d remember her in the second-class citizens list rather than forget her completely.”

“Right, of course. I will do better.” Amelia said the words lightly but meant them seriously. “But how does that relate to you at 19?”

“In that analogy of Carina’s, we’re the biggest big hero." Maya smiled, thinking maybe she should just write a memo for all their friends, explaining firefighting, and Captaining in Seattle at Station 19 specifically, given she was about to explain things a second time today. “Not all stations are equal, there’s a hierarchy, like surgery I guess, based partly on how many units you have, but also on what’s in your District.”

“Units? You mean your engine, truck and aid car?” Amelia was feeling slightly pleased with herself for now knowing how and why to differentiate between truck and engine.

“Yeah. Not all stations have aid cars or ladder trucks. And some have boats or specialist units, like the foam truck and power unit truck that’s here now.”

“Ah, but presumably what the Station has is influenced by your District? That’s the area you respond to calls in?”

“That’s the area you can expect to be the first unit on scene for most often. And it’s a mixture of size and variety. We’ve got a pretty big area for our District, but we’ve got variety too, and big things like here and the Airport. And we have the best stats for the whole Department.”

“No wonder we like you.”

“You mean there’s a reason other than giving you all something to tease Carina about and an opportunity for some of you to keep in touch with your inner bisexual?”

“Fair. But you’re also a member of the successful woman not picking the easy path club.”

“Needs a better slogan,” said Maya, not sure she felt she was comparable with the surgeons but knowing better than to completely reject the compliment. “And I don’t think I’m world class like you guys are, but thank you.”

“Says the woman with the literal gold medal in her office.”

“For running, not firefighting. And you’re sure there’s no one especially mad with Carina becoming Department Head?” asked Maya, returning to her original question.

“Not that I can think of, why? Has Carina said anything?”

“No, but…” Maya sighed, “...she was nervous about starting the new job, and had hoped to have a bit of time in the department this week before she saw patients, but I rather messed that up.”

“No you didn’t. These things happen and I know you know she’d be cross with you for thinking that.” Amelia was starting to have a much better understanding of the strange relationship Maya had growing up with sickness, courtesy of her chats with Mason, but satisfied herself with just robustly dismissing Maya’s attempt to take any blame.

“But today’s her first day being really visible to anyone in the department other than a couple of them, plus seeing patients. And about her first ‘Head of Department’ moment on the ward is making one phone call to me then there’s fourteen fire department vehicles here and more than 50 firefighters doing one thing or another?”

“Oh.” Amelia saw Maya’s point. “Yeah, when you put it like that, she’s had one hell of a first day as the Head of the Department.”

“When does your shift finish?”

“Oh, it finished a while ago, but this is paperwork Wednesday....I try, whenever I have a shift finishing in daylight on a Wednesday, to have a go at catching up on my paperwork. Link and Scout are having some male bonding time.”

“Ah.” Maya thought back to the flowers in her room, trying to weigh up what was the best plan to try and help Carina end her day positively. “Can I tempt you with take-out for dinner?”

“You’re not…”

“Eating it, no. I’m on fruit mush and soup. Hopefully.”

“Fruit mush?”

“Yoghurt and fruit. I…” Maya looked at her left hand with contempt. “...have you tried eating jello one handed with your non-dominant hand?”

“Sorry, surgeon’s curse, I’m ambidextrous for stuff like that. So the take out is...”

There had, unbeknownst to Maya, been something of a battle royale being conducted in the hospital kitchens today, as the components of ‘fruit mush’ was something that patients had for breakfast. It had been missing therefore, from Maya’s lunch tray, with the return of the inevitable jello which Mason had happily helped his sister out with by eating, as the catering supervisor had been unimpressed by the squiggles on the food order. In their words, just who did these squiggles think they were, insisting this other squiggle get breakfast three times a day? Right now, in the handover meeting, that message was being rigorously repeated, with it being their clear opinion that this spoilt squiggle should just be glad of the jello.

Fortunately for Maya though, the in-coming supervisor just nodded along with the rant, having already worked out that the opinionated squiggles were Chief Bailey, Dr Altman, Dr Pierce and Dr Grey (even trying to get the breakfast menu option at breakfast had created quite a lot of extra squiggling given the patient squiggle wasn’t on a declared ‘low sugar diet’), while the patient was, in the opinion of pretty much all of the kitchen staff who, like most in the City were continuing to watch the unfolding City Hall drama rather than their usual evening shows, someone who earned the right to have whatever the doctors said she should have….with double jello and ice cream on the side as a bonus because half of them had a bit of a crush on Carina and the other half were starting to hear about the Captain’s kid brother who knew a bit about the rougher side of City life and was going to paint something special for the kids.

“For Carina. If I wasn’t here…” Maya gestured to herself to indicate her in-patient status, “...I’d be, well here actually, but working, so you’d probably take her out for dinner or something? She’s not exactly had a chance to celebrate being promoted…so I was thinking, maybe you and Teddy or Maggie might come round to mine as it were? I’d encourage you to try and invite her out...”

“But you know she wouldn’t leave you, right? I mean, we’re her second choice for celebrating with anyway, but if you couldn’t make it because you were on shift that’s one thing, but leaving you to soup and fruit mush? That’s too cruel, even for me.”

“I don’t know what time she might be finished though...hopefully not too late because I think her lunch was two flapjacks and an apple juice.”

“That all?”

“Jackson got her apple.” Maya smirked. “She threw it at him when he came by to look at Mas’ hands...”

“A standard Jackson reaction I find, and your brother is also outside with Bailey and your Chief.”

“Oh?” Maya was trying not to panic everytime she woke up and he wasn’t in sight, knowing that he was a perfectly capable adult and didn’t need to be treated like a child, but it was going to take some time for her to stop wondering if this was the moment he’d decided to leave again.

“Jackson lent him his coat, he’s sat in the front of your station’s Aid Car last I heard, before that the engine, drawing. Bailey sent me a text, she’s keeping an eye on him too. Your boss keeps moving him around to sit in different vehicles so he can see different bits of the scene. Bailey thinks they’re trying to get to know each other a bit at the same time?”

“Right before Carina rang me, we were looking at the forms we’re submitting for Mason’s wall - the Chief’s going to help us out filling them in, since I’m...” Maya had no idea what if anything Amelia or any of the hospital doctors other than Carina knew about it, so she went back to glaring at her left hand in mild disgust.

“Oh, the City Hall Community Fund thing? Yeah, Bailey was telling us about it in the meeting on Saturday too. Sounds like a good thing to win, if you can.” There was a knock on the door, followed by it opening a fraction and Ricky appearing.

“Ready for your trip back to your room?” asked Amelia, somewhat rhetorically, knowing that she wasn’t prepared for this to be a negotiation, the doctors all agreeing that they were only letting Maya stay in Carina’s office because she was already asleep, and trying to move her back to her room meant waking her, and no one was prepared to attempt trying to get her to go back to sleep with her team on the roof without Carina.

“As long as there’s a bathroom stop fairly soon.” Maya was, not that she’d ever admit it out loud, ever so slightly missing that aspect of all the ‘lines and things’, as currently bathroom trips were a very real reminder as to how much of her needed to recover.

“That can be arranged, and I’ll definitely come for take-out, want me to see about Teddy and Maggie?”

“Sure, thanks, only I don’t know what time Carina will finish.”

“That’s all right,” said Amelia as she helped Maya stand, the couch proving a bit trickier than the wheelchair to get up from. “I’ve got spies.”

“You mean Nina here calling the nurses’ station on the Cardio wards when Carina leaves?”

“You’re no fun,” protested Amelia, grinning as she helped Maya move round to the wheelchair that, to her continued amazement the blonde was sitting in without protest or argument after that initial resistance ahead of her first adventure.

“I’m a lot of fun,” corrected Maya, waiting for Ricky to help her with her feet, still finding the airboot strange. “And before you say what I think you’re going to say…” she warned, recognising the spark in Amelia’s eyes. “...remember Carina threatened to ban you from puppy time for anymore threesome jokes.”


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you hadn't already noticed, my stories exist in the version of the world which is friendly and inclusive...and possibly points out some of the ways TV shows rather forget they could show that.
> 
> Loxley, aka 'Bad Resident' aka 'Spiked Mince Pie distributor' aka Carina's biggest headache aside from Lachman being inept are all my own inventions.
> 
> Enjoy...

“Dr DeLuca?”

“Si.” Carina looked up from the sink and saw a rather nervy looking Nina reflected in the mirror. “There is a problem?” she asked, surprised to see her Chief Nurse in the surgeon’s scrub area - her more usual domaine was the wards.

“You’re needed in OR 2 now.”

“I was not paged.” She wasn’t on call...except she probably was because there really wasn’t anyone else. So she sighed and squared her shoulders. It wasn’t right to take her frustration out on Nina, or the patient. “What is the case?”

“Emergency hysterectomy.” Nina saw her boss’ eyebrow raise, knowing she knew they had no patients on their wards at the moment who were at obvious risk of needing that procedure, which meant the patient was an ER admission. “Yeah, umm, Dr Grey has requested you for a second opinion about whether it is appropriate or beneficial to do a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy at the same time.”

“Complications?” Carina frowned, wondering why it would need her. She had put the ‘Bad Resident’ on ER cover today, hoping for once that she might have a shift without having to come into too much contact with them, which would be a relief after having them constantly assigned to her shifts by Lachman, who’d taken to hogging Julia, aka the ‘Good Resident’. But this was sounding like a relatively straightforward ER scenario where a patient had significant lower abdominal trauma from something like a car accident, certainly within any GYN surgical resident’s capability at the end of their residency. “Where is…”

“Loxley? She’s one of the complications.” Nina held up the tablet. “I have the case notes here for you. Dr Grey’s keeping the patient on the table for you.”

Carina let out a heavy sigh.

“Bene.” She looked at the clock on the wall, then glanced to her left where Julia, Cruz and Yordell were also cleaning up, making conversation about, from the word or two she was catching, the surgery they’d just completed, with Cruz and Yordell asking Julia questions about what they’d seen. “Come on, we are going to OR 2.”

“We are?” asked Julia, rushing to dry her hands, giving a nudging shove with her hand to Cruz to shut up when he said ‘best shift ever’, presuming that Dr DeLuca meant just her in the ‘we’ as Lachman never took interns into surgery, so she was guessing this case just now had been a one-off.

“Si. All three of you.” 

Carina finished drying her hands and, with a quick glance at her scrubs which she decided would need changing, began to skim the case notes, vaguely aware of the quick, good hearted retaliation between the three for Julia’s presumption it was only her. Now she’d heard Ben’s explanation of the dynamics of the A Shift with ‘Probie’ using the medical experience levels she was more familiar with, she was finding it was also easier to assess how the doctors were interacting with each other by drawing parallels back to the firefighters who she now knew rather better than her doctors. And there were some interesting parallels between the Travis-Emmett dynamic and the Yordell-Julia one that she would think about more later.

“Bene.” She passed the tablet back to Nina, having found what else was loaded on the tablet for her to look at, which she signed promptly. “Please tell Dr Grey I have signed the paperwork and I will be with her but must change scrubs, and I….no, that will not work.” Carina sighed, dismissing the first course of action she would like to take, knowing that there had been a transfusion so blood test results would not help her. “Do we have an ID for them?”

“Yes, but no hospital record. They’re from out-of-state apparently.”

“But we have their possessions? A backpack or case?” Nina nodded, glad she’d remembered to ask that question before she’d set off to find Carina. “Bene. Julia?”

“Yes Doctor DeLuca?”

“Please collect a tablet, something to eat and drink and go to the Observation Room. You will be helping me with the assessment from there, and then, depending on the patient’s situation, I hope you will continue as…” She looked at the clock again and sighed. She would not in any way take any risks with patient wellbeing or care just because she wanted to be there when Maya had her ‘dinner’, but it was still a rather delicate moment in her girlfriend’s recovery and aside from the initial assessment the surgery itself should be well within Julia’s ability. “...I would like to return to Maya in time for her next food adventure.”

“Jello and ice cream? That’s the best bit of the hospital menu I think.”

“She does not have a sweet tooth.”

“Oh, that’s rough. Of course, we’re going to OR 2...” Julia had no idea yet what the case was aside from the two procedures she’d heard Nina mention, but why that would require a surgeon of her new boss’ experience needing help from her with the assessment? That was still a mystery, but she set about drying her hands while she listened to what the interns were being tasked with, all three of them following Carina as she led them into the adjacent changing room and set about replacing her scrubs with a fresh set, pleased when the others wordlessly followed her lead.

“Grazie. E you two…” Carina turned to the two interns who were doing very well so far today, which pleased her immensely as they’d been the two who always seemed to be overlooked by Lachman for reasons Carina couldn’t understand, except she was beginning to think she probably did. “Please go wherever Nina directs you. I need you to go through the patient’s possessions for anything that is a medication or might give us an understanding of where they are in their course of treatments.”

“Er, treatments for what Doctor?” asked Yordell, looking to her friend and fellow intern wondering if he had any better idea.

“It appears our new patient is a person on their journey to, scusa if I use the wrong word in English…” 

Carina knew how to speak about such cases in Italian, had presented papers on them before she had embarked on her current area of research focus, but had not, since being in America, had a patient like this. Moreover, she was acutely aware how difficult it could be for people to receive the appropriate medical care without judgement or prejudice, and had no interest in anyone who thought that was acceptable behaviour. But using the wrong word could inadvertently create the wrong impression that she was one of her bigotted colleagues, so she erred on the side of linguistic caution.

“...transition to identifying as male. Which is, as you know, a decision that is not taken lightly or easily, and involves many steps. Unfortunately for our patient, they have been in an accident which has given them trauma in the lower abdomen and an hysterectomy is required in Dr Grey’s opinion.” As she changed her scrub pants for clean ones, she searched the expressions of the three less experienced doctors for any hint or indication that they were going to be bigots, but their expressions showed nothing other than what she was already recognising was their ‘new problem to understand’ faces, as they should.

“So when you say anything that gives us an understanding, you mean more than just medication details?” asked Yordell, chewing on her lip as she tried to understand what they were being asked to look for.

“Si. The medications are important, but…” Carina looked up to see who else was joining them, grateful to see it was Anna, arriving with a bottle of water and… “Grazie Anna, you have been talking to Maya.” She could recognise from the smell that the small white boxes the Administrator was carrying contained the cheesy rice bombs and spring rolls from Joe’s. “And si, any indication of their decisions about what their choices have been for how they transition is useful information. We must intervene now because it is an emergency and there is trauma, but what is it that everyone thinks we take the oath to do?” She asked the question because she wanted to know their answers, but it also gave her a moment to eat a cheesy rice bomb while changing over her scrub top.

“Do no harm…”

“But it’s really do no unnecessary harm.”

“Si, which is why I want to know as much about their decisions as it is possible to find out about them.”

“You’re thinking about scarring,” realised Julia, suddenly catching on to their boss’ wavelength. “And dysphoria, as well as the hormonal impacts which usually influence our decision making about whether or not to do the bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy?”

“Si.” Carina swallowed the second half of her spring roll, feeling better for some food as she sat down to put on her sneakers again. “Bene, you may share the rest, and know what you are to do.” She tied up her hair again and rolled her neck and shoulders, her upper back not being shy about pointing out it had been a week since she’d done surgery. “Oh, and Julia?”

“Yes Doctor?”

“Dr Bailey does not like us hitting with our hands...”

“Oh, but…” Cruz was trying to take responsibility, knowing it was his fault and the gentle shove was well-deserved. But he stopped talking fast when he saw her amused look.

“She has instructed us to use our elbows instead, because our hands are expensive to insure. Dr Altman, Dr Shepherd and myself, along with Dr Bailey, Dr Grey and Dr Pierce are trying to remember to change our habits.” The three more junior doctors glanced at each other, all agreeing - those were definitely some expensive hands. “You should not form the bad habit Julia.”

“But I’m…”

“Going to have expensive hands soon, the two of you also if you continue to work as hard as I have seen this week.” She took another mouthful of water, then stood up, seeing Nina had returned. “Bene, andiamo.” Carina left, oblivious to the other three doctors being frozen in space like a tableau, though Nina noticed they weren’t following them, so ducked back.

“That means you should be somewhere else.” She didn’t think Julia would have needed reminding of that fact, but she was the most frozen of all, just looking dumbly at her hands. “Is there a problem?”

“What? No.” Julia shook herself from her daze and went to nudge Yordell into motion, then caught herself. Grinning sheepishly, she withdrew her hand and shuffled slightly nearer to the intern, then cautiously gave her a prod with her elbow....and for Nina, everything made sense. 

The nurses had picked up on the sudden outbreak of ‘elbowing’ amongst the very senior, ‘big name’ surgeons they had on their wards in the last week or so, finally putting together the details of the puzzle yesterday. They were now enjoying watching to see how the instruction to elbow not shove cascaded down through the surgical hierarchy, seeing it was given to those deemed to have ‘good hands’ after Bailey had pulled up the other DeLuca and Maggie Pierce had told off an exceptionally talented intern who was currently intriguing all the department heads as they waited to see which specialism they were going to favour. Someone had also told Jo Wilson and Helm, because they were seen trying to adjust to the new technique as well. But somehow, despite it breaking out in little isolated spots around the staff, it was staying a well-kept secret, with those told to switch to elbowing also seeming to understand that it wasn’t something they were to boast about or start trying to tell others to do. 

“She doesn’t give out compliments like that lightly.” She looked down at the remains of Carina’s quick snack, helping herself to a risotto ball and a spring roll. “Or appreciate lateness.”

* * *

“Umm, Dr DeLuca?”

“Si?” Carina didn’t look up from the patient, concentrating her final suture, before the speaker’s voice registered. “Ah, un momento per favore Anna....bene, you are happy for us to make the switch?” She looked up at Meredith who smiled behind her mask and nodded.

“Thanks Carina, yes, happy for you to switch.”

“Julia, step in per favore.” Carina stepped to the side to create the room for Julia, now scrubbed, masked, gowned and gloved, to step up to the patient. “You are able to continue for me?”

“Yes Doctor.”

“Bene, please then stay and assist Dr Grey, and do the follow up, though I am still in the hospital if you have any questions at any point.” Carina might have kept the patient as hers if she was having a quieter start to the year, but medically Julia was up to the challenge and it would be good to have Meredith’s opinion of her skills. “Meredith, will you…”

“Take them to my department afterwards? Yes, I thought that might be better until we understand a bit more about their situation.” She could, like Carina, appreciate that admitting them to the OBGYN ward for their recovery might also be a backward step when it came to their recovery, so a private room on the mixed gender general surgery ward was a better first stop until she and Carina or Julia had a chance to speak with their patient. 

“Si, I agree. Julia, they are your patient.”

“Yes Doctor DeLuca. Scalpel please?”

Stepping back from the patient, Carina waited while Julia stepped up and orientated herself, watching Meredith’s reactions, not expecting to have to step back in but not going to abandon the patient with imperfect treatment. 

“Ms Loxley?” Carina did not really want to do this now, in this way, but she didn’t want to delay any longer, so after catching Meredith’s eye again and seeing her small nod of support, had directed the ‘bad resident’ to pay attention to her from the observation room which now contained, Carina was relieved to see, not only Anna and the two interns, but the hopefully unnecessary yet useful presence of hospital security quietly at the back. It made her extra certain she was not going to address the woman as ‘Doctor’.

“Yeah?” Respect was not something Loxley subscribed to, at least in the direction of Dr DeLuca, much to the irritation of anyone who heard her being so disrespectful, but Carina had been masterful at rising above it.

“You are leaving now.” Carina watched her reaction in her peripheral vision as she concentrated on how Julia was doing with the patient and Dr Grey, who she was fairly certain she hadn’t operated with previously. “The paperwork explaining things to you is in the envelope.”

“Ah, a proper patient needing a specialist consult,” preened Loxley, it not occurring to her that there was any other way she would be leaving the hospital with ‘paperwork’, presuming instead that her self declared ‘excellent’ skills were being sent to one of the smaller clinics or hospitals in the region that had requested an urgent OBGYN consult.

“No. Your termination...” Carina heard the noises and looked at Meredith for guidance. “...è la parola corretta per dirle che è stata licenziata, sì?"

“Yes, that’s correct, but personally I’d just tell her she’s fired and to get the hell out of your department and my hospital.” Meredith turned to look over her shoulder at the angry looking Resident. “Oh, I think she’s got the message now.”

“Si.” Security were doing a remarkably efficient job now, and after a moment a calm if tense air returned to the OR. “Grazie Anna, I am sorry she behaved like that but I was not prepared to have her see another patient. Meredith, grazie mille. Julia, you are ok?”

“Yes thanks.” Julia never looked up from the surgical field, which Carina could see on the monitors as the camera relayed the details in big screen full colour detail. “I just thought she was a lousy surgeon, hadn’t realised she was a bigot too, explains stuff though….um, a little more suction please?”

Carina and Meredith shared another look, their masks making it impossible for them to see each other’s smiles, but they both knew. Julia was a keeper.

“No problem Doctor. The Chief Administrator is waiting outside to help encourage her to leave.”

“Si? But made you...”

“I offered, he doesn’t like blood.”

“Eppure decide di lavorare in un ospedale…” mumbled Carina mostly to herself, though Meredith heard her and chuckled. “Are you happy here?”

“Yes Doctor,” replied Julia smartly, focussed on her work, knowing not to ignore Carina’s question - she was getting a phenomenal opportunity to lead on what was still a very rare case, and while that would be exciting to reflect on later, right now her focus was on trying to help their patient have the best recovery possible.

“Go. Say hi to Maya to me? Heard she has had quite the adventure today. Make sure you see the pictures of Bailey.”

“It has been quite the adventure for both of us today. And what pictures?”

“She’s shadowing Maya’s boss? They’ve got her in the helmet and coat…I don’t think I’ve seen her as excited since…a very long time ago.”

“Si? That is…not what I was expecting.”

“Get out of here, rumour has it your girlfriend’s about to win at romance again.” Meredith laughed at Carina’s shocked look, discernable despite the mask. “She’s going to have to let the others have a chance sometime, she’s showing them up…”

“Or maybe,” teased Carina, deciding she still didn’t really know what was going on with Bailey, and was beginning to wonder at the chaos she’d left her ward in. “The doctors just need to learn from the firefighters. They are more than just muscles and hoses.”

“Nothing wrong with muscles though…” sighed Meredith, obediently moving the suction when Julia asked her.

“Si, lo so, sono io quello con il pompiere!”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Carina looked at the clock in the scrub room as she cleaned her hands, estimating she had about 45 minutes before Maya’s food would be arriving in her room, which just gave her enough time to go to the Department and see what was happening but first she needed to go find her phone.

“Your phone…” said Anna, meeting Carina outside the scrub room, having gone and rescued Carina’s possessions during the first surgery from her locker. “...and coat.” She gave Carina her white coat to put on, seeing her eyebrow raise. “It arrived this afternoon, and there’s a spare in your office. I ordered it in the same size as your previous one.” Anna had seen Carina notice that, under where her name and MD, FACOG were embroidered, it now also identified her as the department head like it did for her friends who were heads of their own departments. “And your clothes and things are in the Captain’s room so you can go straight there when you decide to finish.” Carina’s other eyebrow rose as she put her phone in her coat pocket and found her stethoscope already in the other one. “Her words, not mine, and she helped me with your locker code, told me I was to tell you to be mad at her not me?”

“I am not mad with either of you. It sounds like you have started to make friends as well as learn my secrets.”

“Only the most useful ones Doctor.” Anna pushed the call button for the elevator and passed her boss another bottle of water.

“Ask your question Anna, I do not bite,” encouraged Carina, drinking some more of the water, hoping her girlfriend was not exhausting herself.

“How did she leave so fast?”

“Loxley?” Carina saw her new secretary nod. “Because the paperwork has been ready a week. Her skills were not good enough, her attitude was poor and she kept taking bad decisions and not learning from them. I had already recommended she not be offered a position at the end of her Residency before Christmas when I had to write my report, and you know about the mince pies?” Carina saw Anna nod as the doors opened and they set about navigating through the maze of corridors that got them from the building Teddy’s ward was in across to Carina’s department. “I wrote a letter to the Chief Administrator about it, asking at what point this all became disciplinary. You would have had a meeting I think set up between him and Lachman when she was supposed to return from her vacation again, after I think two before.”

“Yes, although she always cancelled them at the last moment.”

“Si, he warned me that would happen, but I said to do all the paperwork for Kate to sign anyway because I am an optimist. And so I kept it updated with every new problem.” 

Carina used her pass to open the door onto the ward they were short-cutting through, smiling to Avery as they passed, only to laugh when he, without saying anything, pulled an apple out of his coat pocket and held it out for her to take as she passed, neither of them breaking stride. 

“Grazie Jackson.” She put it in her pocket, not quite in the mood for it just now, but appreciating the gesture. As she and Anna approached the next set of doors, she resumed her explanation for Anna’s benefit. “I emailed the Administrator when I was made Head of the Department to ask him for his advice now the paperwork was awaiting my signature for her termination. His advice was to wait, if I could, for one more disaster, preferably he said one witnessed by another Department Head as the decoration on the cake?” She knew it was ‘icing’, but wanted to see if Anna’s confidence was increased enough to risk correcting her.

“Oh, um, it’s er icing, instead of decoration.” Her chat with the Captain, at the Captain’s instigation had been very helpful, not only in giving her useful advice like what was the best emergency ‘need food’ snack options from the various hospital options and Joe’s, but also reiterated that Carina had been completely serious in her desire to have her English missteps highlighted if it was appropriate so she could hopefully avoid them in the future.

“Si? Grazie. When she ended up at the wrong end of Meredith’s temper for refusing to treat that patient, I had an iced cake and I signed the paperwork as I was changing my scrubs.” They turned a corner and were finally outside the doors into the OBGYN department, only for Carina to pause. “You do not have access to my email and calendar?”

“Only your calendar.”

“Scusa, I assumed that would happen automatically. It is possible yes?” Carina was fairly certain her assumption was consistent with how things works for the other Heads of Department.

“Yes Doctor, I…” Anna squared her shoulders. “Dr Lachman did not work that way.”

“Another way that woman is very strange…” Carina caught her lip as she took in the activity across the ward, noting the staff moving between patients and judging from the different family members she was and wasn’t recognising how they were doing with the continuing cycle of discharges and admissions. “Assume please that I work in the way that works for the others? If it works for Dr Shepherd and Dr Altman, assume it works for me enough that we try it please?”

“Are you talking about vibrators again? Because it was me, myself and I and my brain tumour obviously, whereas Teddy...”

“Ahie…” Carina dropped her head forwards, letting out an expressive groan that might have been ‘Mamma Mia’ but might have been a promise to murder her friend in their next lives instead as she rubbed the back of her neck with one hand and very firmly elbowed her friend with the other arm.

“Hi, I’m Amelia Shepherd.”

“Anna Breaux, Dr DeLuca’s secretary.”

“Not talking about vibrators then?” asked Amelia brightly, recalling seeing the woman being given a fairly raw time of it by Kate Lachman the couple of times she’d seen her before.

“Administrative processes,” said Carina through teeth that could have reasonably been gritted but it was Amelia, and she couldn’t really be anything other than amused. “I do not know what is ‘usual’ around here, but my amministratrici have always had sight of my medical and hospital administration schedules and correspondence and I want to start with whatever works for you and Teddy  _ as department heads _ and only change it if I do not like it.”

“Didn’t Kate give you access?” Amelia saw Anna’s nervous headshake. “Strange woman, did rather insist on being a bit of a loner though. And that makes sense, you know Jen I think? I have no idea how she organises me, but she does, brilliantly.” Amelia took out her phone and fired off a text to her secretary asking her to help Anna get reintegrated into the Department Heads’ circle. “She’ll help you get this one house trained,” she joked, wrapping her arm around Carina’s shoulders and giving her a squeeze in friendship and support. 

“I am already house trained,” protested Carina, looking at her best friend with long suffering patience. “And you will be given poop duty for teasing Anna too much.”

“Poop duty?” asked Anna nervously, having had to have Dr DeLuca’s large box of brand new still in their packaging vibrators and dildos explained to her by Nina, but still not quite recovered from how breezily Dr Shepherd brought them up.

“You’ve met Maya?” Anna nodded. “In addition to being irritatingly amazing at putting everyone else to shame in the romance department, she gave this one two of the cutest puppies you have ever seen for Christmas.”

“Maya did not give them to me,” corrected Carina, reaching into her pocket and finding her phone, deciding it was quickest to just show Anna a photo of the puppies when they were tiny and in Jack’s Santa hat. “Her team were at a call on Christmas Eve and a homeless person handed over these abandoned puppies. They were only one week old then and are now with a foster dog until they are big enough. We are adopting them, and they will live with us but go with Maya to the fire station so they are not alone when we are working.” Carina looked at Amelia with a pointed expression. “She did not  _ give _ me puppies for Christmas.” Carina was under no illusion - while they were adopting them together, and Maya was definitely very excited about it, it was also something she would have absolutely not even considered had Carina not met the puppies, nor would Carina. 

“You never did tell me what she got you for Christmas...Link did rather well, these rather amazing chocolates, much better than his attempt at my birthday, European but I don’t think they were Italian...” They weren’t, they were Belgian, but Carina and Amelia had no way of knowing that Maya would have known that if she were to ask, with Link promising to take that secret to the grave.

Maya had met him in passing when she was in the city centre doing her own Christmas shopping and he was in a bit of a panic about what to get Amelia that was a bit different but still going to be a successful gift. So Maya had shared a secret chocolate buying tip with him and pointed him in the direction of a coffee shop that also stocked a small but incredibly reliable, impossible to go wrong with, selection of imported Belgian chocolate. She had been getting grateful thank you texts from him at almost daily intervals since Christmas as Amelia reported with delight that she  _ still  _ hadn’t found something hideous and inedible in the selection box, but was loving all of them. 

Maya was pleased he’d had such a successful gifting experience, but was honest enough to admit to herself that her sharing of the recommendation wasn’t an entirely altruistic act. She knew that Amelia getting  _ another _ bag of chocolate peanuts from him would see Carina have a very animated Amelia hot-footing round to vent like she’d done on her birthday. Which wouldn’t have been so bad because Amelia venting about whatever Link had just done and swearing off men forever was quite funny when you had time to appreciate it...except they’d discovered Amelia had as big a problem with ‘bathroom time’ being a sacred time and space as Andy did, who had let her into the apartment. 

Fortunately Carina had been doing her make-up and brushing her teeth so when Amelia blew in speaking at 999 miles a minute about the ineptitude of men and why she regretted ever thinking she could love one again, Carina had been able to turn her friend around and propel her in the direction of the couch before the neurosurgeon ever registered the shower was running and contained an obviously naked Maya. That had been a less amusing Amelia rant, as by the time she’d calmed down enough, Carina was very nearly late for work, Amelia was already late and Maya was only just awake enough for Carina to kiss her goodbye, rather than finish the conversation they’d been trying to squeeze in about what Maya should do for her mother’s upcoming birthday...which, Maya had remembered as she was giving Link directions to get his chocolates, had been a box of the same chocolates she was recommending he get for Amelia.

“Maya got me some Cioccolato di Modica, it is the chocolate made in Sicily and I do not know where she gets it here because I had not found anywhere in Seattle that stocked that particular one....” 

The answer to that particular problem was that it wasn’t a store in Seattle, but a little chocolate store Maya had stopped at one day on the way back from the Washington State Fire Department Headquarters where she’d had to go for a meeting. And something she was managing to keep as a secret from her girlfriend, but filed in the category of ‘good secret to keep’, taking the ‘try not to keep secrets’ part of being in love and wanting to earn and retain Carina's trust so seriously she’d actually checked with Diane Lewis whether that was something she should explain to Carina after all, only to be assured by the psychologist that being able to surprise your partner with her favourite chocolate that was incredibly hard to find and a reminder of her childhood in another country was exactly the sort of secret that was part of a healthy, loving relationship.

“...and some clothes.”

“Maya bought you clothes?” Amelia’s expression earned her a rather fierce elbow jab from Carina, feeling indignant on behalf of her girlfriend. “Ok, that sounded a bit harsh even for me, but I mean, have you seen you in the mirror? You’re a living advert for Italian fashion being worth every cent and Maya is…”

“Si? Maya is?” challenged Carina, still going through her emails while she waited for Amelia to finish digging her own trench.

“A little more Pacific North West all seasons functional in her fashion choices,” said Amelia finally, rather pleased with how carefully diplomatic she’d been, especially for her. “But I am definitely wanting her help next time I buy a new hiking jacket or running shoes.” Amelia had what she thought was a rather inspiring thought. “Have you decided to start hiking together?”

“Amelia…” Carina rolled her eyes and sighed, as Anna winced, thinking that was a little unfortunate to suggest given the Captain’s current predicament, feeling like she probably shouldn’t be listening to the two, but they knew she was there so it wasn’t eavesdropping, and it certainly was entertaining, and informative. “What sort of clothes did Link buy you for Christmas?”

“Oh, he bought me some lacy bras, I thought he’d done rather well for himself too with the colours, cream and blue, go rather nicely with my scrubs, until I realised they were the colours that matched the Mariner uniforms and the onesies he got Scout.” Amelia trailed off, realising what the significance of Carina’s question was. “She bought you…”

“La biancheria intima in my favourite brand from Italy, which is not available here. And no.” Carina knew her best friend and smirked. “I am not telling you the colour, though it is not either the colour of her uniform, these scrubs or her engine.” She looked at Anna. “You have my permission to hit her if she is too annoying. Do you need me to do anything else before you finish for today?” she asked, conscious that Anna should have probably gone home some time earlier.

“I don’t think so, would you like me to unpack your office tomorrow?”

“Grazie, that had been my afternoon plan but…” Carina barely managed to contain her yawn. “Do you need me to do anything else today? Anna shook her head - she was, if she was honest, not sure she could cope with Carina doing any more work today, as she’d once again managed to achieve far more in a single day than Anna was hoping might be got through in a week, or would have got through in a month with her previous boss. It was a challenge to adjust, but adjust she would because it was how they should be doing things, and it was definitely more enjoyable.

“Bene.”

“Come on you, I’m under strict orders to take you to Maya’s room for take-out while she has her soup and fruit mush. We’re collecting Teddy on the way.”

“I need to shower…”

“Your girlfriend has a room with a shower in it you can use while we wait for take-out.”

“Dr DeLuca?”

“Si Anna?”

“If you don’t shower in the Captain’s room you will have to put scrubs back on as I moved your clothes there while you were in surgery.”

“Ah, scusa, you did tell me, grazie Anna e Buona Notte.” Carina turned to Amelia. “Fine, I will go to Maya’s room soon, but can I have five minutes to check how my department is first?” asked Carina, liking the plan but having been serious in her desire to see how the department was doing after her afternoon of unplanned surgeries.

“Haven’t you done that yet? You closed on Mrs Florres over an hour ago…”

“Your spies are not very good then, because they did not tell you I only came up here a minute before you arrived.” Carina headed over to the nurses’ station where Nina had just reappeared, Carina knowing the experienced nurse would be able to update her on not just how the patients were doing, but how the staff were feeling after what, even by Grey Sloan standards, was proving to be quite a first day.

“Dr Grey requested Dr DeLuca’s assistance with her patient, she had to detour via OR 2 straight after closing on Mrs Florres.” Anna decided to tell Dr Shepherd the other salient point, which would probably see Dr DeLuca enshrined as a full on saint as far as most of the hospital staff were concerned by dawn. “And fired Dr Loxley too.”

“Good riddance,” said Amelia immediately, still feeling somewhat guilty for her inadvertent role in Carina losing a sizeable chunk of her staff to the spiked mince pies, which were admittedly Loxley’s fault for being eaten by the OBGYN staff, but it had been Amelia’s request for a consult that had seen Loxley get her hands on them. “Wait, what?” She looked over to Carina, who was signing off a stack of orders for Nina while listening to an update. “She’s something else,” she said, knowing already that her best friend was one hell of a surgeon and starting to see how much of her experience she’d yet to bring to the fore in the hospital, who’d as far as Amelia could tell after only a couple of days, had been criminally under-appreciating Carina since the day she arrived. “Dr Altman said she sat in on a presentation by two interns this morning that’s made her and Dr Pierce start planning a complete review of their department?”

“I wouldn’t know about that Dr Shepherd, but Dr Altman was at a presentation this morning. The two interns are presenting at the department meeting on Friday and Dr DeLuca wanted to hear them first. She’d asked for one of you, Dr Bailey or Dr Altman to be there, but you both had surgeries and Dr Altman was free.”

“That’s unusual, getting interns to present like that, not Bailey and I having surgery obviously, but from what Teddy’s already told me it sounds fascinating.”

“Dr DeLuca said to me on Sunday morning while the Captain was having her surgery that we were to get used to being seen by the other departments as doing things in an unusual way for Grey Sloan, but then you would start to copy and it would become usual... Oh, and thank you for the chocolate croissant suggestion you gave to Nina.”

“Of course, but use it wisely,” encouraged Amelia, seeing Carina was apparently satisfied with how things were continuing in the department, or at least satisfied enough to no longer resist the triple treat of food, a shower and Maya, with Amelia well aware that was probably not the order Carina would rank them in. “And only from the lobby coffee cart. She hates the one from the outside one for some reason.”

“That’s because they are chocolate-hazelnut according to the Captain, but it is ‘the wrong sort of chocolate-hazelnut’. Apparently it’s a flavour combination Italians are quite particular about.”

“Is there a food Italians aren’t particular about?”

“No, because it is important, and the better question is why Americans are particular about so little. Bene. Good night Anna, grazie mille.” Carina set off, only to pause and look at Amelia. “Sbrigati, voglio baciare Maya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> è la parola corretta per dirle che è stata licenziata, sì? - is the correct word to tell her that she's fired, yes?  
> Eppure decide di lavorare in un ospedale… - yet he decides to work in a hospital  
> Si, lo so, sono io quello con il pompiere! - Yes, I know, I'm the one with the firefighter!  
> La biancheria intima - lingerie  
> Sbrigati, voglio baciare Maya - Hurry up, I want to kiss Maya.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it so far...


End file.
